Worth Fighting For
by jewel2687
Summary: Starts after 3x14. Just as Casey takes Severide's advice and begins to try to move on, an accident leaves Gabby fighting for her life, forcing Matt to make a decision about what he really wants, but is it too late? Does Gabby even want to return to the life she's been living? How will her loved ones cope?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hi. As I'm sure you can tell this is my first Chicago Fire story. It's actually my first attempt at fanfiction in a while. I've dabbled on and off over the years, but it's probably been about five years since I attempted this so I make no guarantees that I'm any good at this or can accurately nail things like characterization.

I'm actually relatively new to Chicago Fire too having watched the entire series for the first time in December/January. I quickly fell in love with the show and Dawsey though and started lurking on here a few months ago. As I was making my way through the middle of season three, I started getting these threads in my head and eventually managed to craft them together in a way that seemed like a story. I now can't get the idea out of my head so when I found myself with a little more time on my hands a few weeks ago, I started writing it up, figuring I'd ultimately join and post it to see what people thought.

This first chapter is more setting the stage for what I have planned than anything so there's not a lot of plot here. I actually contemplated calling it Prologue instead of Chapter 1 but decided against it. Its probably going to take a few chapters to get a feel for what I have planned for at least the first part of this story so I'll probably ask around chapter 3 or 4 if its worth continuing. In the meanwhile, please let me know what you think and give me any advice you have. Constructive criticism is always welcome just please don't be rude with it.

I do want to make clear that this story starts between 3x14 Call It Paradise and 3X15 Headlong Toward Disaster. I'm taking some characters down a different path, but I will try to keep it in the world of the show and reference things that happened in the actual episodes where possible.

Lastly, I promise now that I have an account, I'll start reviewing the stories I've been reading over the past few months the next time they get updated.

* * *

Chapter 1

"You ready to leave?" Brett asked. She had returned to Chicago Med about 15 minutes ago. After the baby's parents arrived, Dawson had called her, needing a ride since her car was still at the firehouse. Instead of leaving though, they'd been mostly been sitting in silence in the hospital lobby, watching as hospital staff, patients, and visitors moved in and out.

"Sure," Gabby replied. She called Brett because once the parents arrived, she didn't really want to stay and watch them reunite with their baby, but now that Brett was here, she found that she didn't really want to leave. Still as long she stayed, Brett would too. She wasn't even really sure why she suddenly wanted to stay. Maybe it was because in a way there was something comforting about being in the same building as the baby and her parents, a reminder of the good parts of the day, but she wasn't certain. She did know that she wasn't ready to go back to Brett's. While she enjoyed the woman's company, the idea of crawling into bed in what was supposed to be Brett's spare room wasn't exactly appealing at the moment. Gabby was certain her mind would start wandering to some of the other parts of the day, the parts she would prefer to forget, like having a gun pointed at her. It wasn't like it was the first time that had happened. Plenty of guns had been pulled on her and Shay during their time together on 61. Still, this was the first time someone had pulled a gun on her while she had a baby in her arms, and it had happened in what was supposed to be the safety and security of the firehouse, taking something else from her.

"Joe texted me a few minutes ago," Brett said as the ladies walked towards the parking garage. "Pretty much everyone is still at Molly's for the luau. What do you say we go join them?"

"I'm beat. I think I'm just going to go back to the apartment and go to bed. You should go though. I wasn't looking to take you away from Cruz for the entire night. Just drop me off at 51 so I can get my car," Gabby replied. She didn't like lying to Brett, but she wasn't up for hanging out with everyone right now, and she certainly didn't want to worry her friend.

Fifteen minutes later they were pulling up next to 51.

"You sure I can't talk you into coming out tonight?" Brett asked as Gabby gathered her things.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks for picking me up though," Gabby replied.

"What are friends for?" Brett called after her as Gabby got out of the car.

* * *

Gabby had been driving around aimlessly for about an hour and half when she found herself outside the cemetery's main entrance. Taking in a deep breathe, she pulled over, stopped the car, and stared at the gate for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to do. Truth was she'd been avoiding this place for weeks, managing to convince herself that there was something important that she needed to do every time she would think about coming for a visit. As she sat there, Gabby realized that maybe she wasn't there simply by chance, maybe her subconscious had guided her here, each seemingly random turn bringing her one step closer to where she really wanted to be. In that moment, Gabby knew what she needed most was her best friend.

Realizing that even at this late hour the main gate was open, Gabby put the car back in drive and headed into the cemetery. Following the road that she had learned so well since that awful day in May, Gabby headed directly for the section where her best friend was buried. Once there she got out of the car. Even in the dark with the cemetery barely lit, she managed to make her way to the grave without tripping over a headstone or anything else. Sitting down in the snow, she reached for the headstone, letting her fingers trace every letter in her friend's name.

 _Leslie Elizabeth Shay_

She sat there in silence for a few minutes trying to figure out what exactly to say.

"Hey girl," she finally got out. "I know it's been a while. You've probably been wondering where I've been. Why I haven't come by since before Christmas. Truth is I've been avoiding you. Before you get mad or offended, know that it's not because I didn't want to see you. I'll always want to hang with you Shay. I just didn't want to disappoint you, and I knew once I came to visit, I'd have to tell you what happened, and you'd be disappointed in me. Maybe Severide's already told you. I don't know.

"You've always been such a big believer in Casey and me. Even when I had convinced myself that it was just some foolish crush because he was with Hallie and there was no way he would ever feel the same way about me. Remember how the first time you saw us together you just assumed we were a couple? You saw what was really between us before we ever could. I'll always be grateful for that.

"Anyways I managed to screw that up. Looking back, I never should have accepted Boden's offer to look the other way and let me be the candidate on Truck 81, but I think I needed to stay at 51, and I really wanted to be a firefighter. Even though everyone told me it might put a strain on Matt and me, I'm pretty sure I never really took their warnings seriously. I don't know if you remember; last time I was here I told you about how Matt was mad at me because I disobeyed orders on a call in front of another Chief. I remember telling you it was just a little fight and we'd be okay. Turns out I was wrong. Things just spiraled further from there. At home we were always either fighting about work or barely talking, and then eventually we started fighting about home at work. We did things a normal lieutenant and candidate wouldn't do, and I don't mean where your dirty mind is probably going right now," Gabby let out a soft chuckle as she pictured what Shay would be doing and saying if it was really the two of them having this conversation.

"In the end, I left, gave him back the ring, and moved in with Brett," she paused, taking a deep breathe. "This is probably going to sound strange, but I broke up with Matt because of how much I love him. I didn't know how to fix us, but I did know that things couldn't stay the way they were. What happened when everything eventually boiled over on a call? Someone was bound to get hurt or worse. I can't be responsible for that again." She tried and failed to hold back a sob.

"I know that if you could, you'd tell me the same thing the Chaplain did. That what happened to you wasn't my fault and that I need to stop blaming myself. In my head I know that, but my heart doesn't seem to be able to get the message. And yes this wouldn't be the same thing. It wouldn't be my best friend dying. It would be something happening to the love of my life or a stranger or one of the many people in between, and it would definitely be on me because I'm the one who created this mess in the first place.

"I hate it but leaving was the right thing to do. It was the only thing I could do. Doesn't make it any easier though, going to work and seeing Matt, spending 24 hours with him in close quarters, having to constantly remind myself that he's just my boss now. I can't even try to just be good friends with him again because he was never just one of my closest friends. My feelings for him were always there, simmering under the surface, disguised as friendship, and if I try to go back to that friendship, all the feelings I need to bury are just going to come rushing back up.

"There are days and moments though, like last shift, where I just have to stop and remind myself that we're not together anymore, we can't be. When its hard to remember that I did the right thing," realizing that despite the freezing temperature, her eyes had started to water, Gabby paused for a moment to wipe away the tears before they started falling. "You should have seen it Shay. It was below zero out and I found a baby girl just abandoned in the firehouse driveway. It was so awful seeing this cute little girl just laying there, freezing to death. How could someone do something like that? Turns out she was kidnapped, and the kidnapper just left here there. I don't understand why someone would go through the trouble of stealing someone else's child only to leave the child to die. It just makes me so mad. She's with her parents now at Chicago Med though so at least the story has a happy ending.

"That's not really the point though. It was so cold out the ambo wouldn't start so we took care of her at the firehouse while waiting for family services or another ambo to come. There was this moment where Matt and I were together with the baby in the bunkroom. I was by myself holding her and Matt came up to me. I gave him the baby and then it was just Matt with a baby in his arms, me sitting next to him, reaching out to touch this little girl who just cooed at us. It was like we were a family, and all I could think was 'God I love him. He's going to be a great father to our kids.' Then the moment was over and I realized that I had gotten a glimpse of the future I was supposed to have but may not get to, the one I chose to walk away from. I spent I don't even know how long reminding myself of all the reasons I left. When an ambo showed up to take the baby to the hospital, I went with her, but not before all but telling Matt that it didn't mean anything even though it meant everything to me. He told me I was going to make a great mom, but the truth is, I can't imagine ever wanting to have someone else's children. I wish you had been there even if you would have spent the whole shift teasing me mercilessly about how Matt, the baby, and I made the perfect little family," she let out another chuckle and reached up to wipe away the tears that had started to fall.

"I wish you were still here Shay. I feel like I've lost so much since deciding to become a firefighter. Don't get me wrong the job's great. I love it. I'm sure wherever you are, you're proud of me, and I hope I've honored Jones. You remember the note she left for me? How I refused to tell anyone what it said? She told me not to let anything stand in my way, and from the moment I put that candidate's uniform on, that's what I've been trying to do. I know I didn't always have the best relationship with her, but I owe her at least that much. If I hadn't told her about her father's plans to dock her, maybe she wouldn't have…," Gabby trailed off.

"If I could go back and relive the past year, there are so many things I would differently. So many different choices I would make. I can't though so I'm just trying to do the best with where I wound up, where we all wound up," Gabby said before letting out a yawn. Checking her phone she saw that it was nearly 2 AM.

"Its getting late, and I'm tired. There's so much else I want to talk to you about, happier things, but I think I need to go to bed. I promise I'll be back soon. I won't make you wait two months again," she touched the headstone one last time. Getting up, she wiped the snow off of her and headed back towards her car.

* * *

Gabby hit the gas as the light turned green, not even thinking to check the cross street at such a late hour. At the same time a car sped down the other street going well over the 50 mile per hour speed limit; the driver not even looking at the light as he approached the intersection. Racing down the street, the car reached the intersection just as Gabby's car was making its way through. The impact was made when the front of the other car hit Gabby's driver side door, pushing the door into her body, breaking the window, the glass shooting into her face, and sending the car spinning through the intersection until it hit a telephone poll with such a force it broke some wires loose, one of them falling on top of the car and another breaking the front windshield. Fortunately, Gabby had lost consciousness long before the electricity hit her body.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Wow. The response I've gotten to the first chapter blows my mind. I definitely had my own Sally Field moment as I watched the reaction come in on Sunday. All the reviews and follows and favorites were way more than I ever expected. Thank you so much guys. To think I was nervous about doing this.

I really hope you guys like the second chapter just as much. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Two

With the sun now shining into the bedroom, Matt slowly began to wake up. The first thing he noticed during his ascent into consciousness was the warm body next to him. _Gabby_ , he thought. Automatically he moved towards her, needing to be closer to the woman he loved. His movement must have alerted her to the fact that he was awake as her fingers suddenly started caressing his arm. He was almost fully awake when it hit him. These fingers weren't touching him the way Gabby's always did. They weren't even her fingers.

Then the events of the previous night came flooding back to him. The woman smiling at him at Molly's. Buying her a drink. Sitting next to her. Heading back to her place. Agreeing that they weren't looking for anything serious. Kissing her. Going up to her bedroom. Clothes coming off. Falling onto the bed with her. As far as meaningless sex went it was pretty decent, but it couldn't even come close to making love to Gabby. God the whole point of last night was to give him a distraction, something to keep his mind off of how much he missed his girl, but now without anything else to focus on, she was all he could think about.

Suddenly he found himself being turned onto his back. The woman, he thought she had said her name was Beth but he wasn't one hundred percent sure, climbed on top of him. Straddling him, she started playing with his chest hair, smiling down.

"I had a great time last night," she said before moving her head towards him and starting to suck on a spot near the base of his neck.

 _Not there_ , he wanted to say but didn't. Gabby knows that. She never would have gone for that spot. Instead she would have picked the one an inch to the right or another one more towards the top of his neck, the ones that she knew drove him crazy. Damn it, now even with a distraction, he couldn't keep his mind off of her. Maybe he should just tell Beth to choose a different spot. Maybe then he could enjoy what she was doing and stop thinking about how she wasn't Gabby.

He was pulled from his thoughts when his phone started to buzz. He grabbed it off the nightstand not even sure how it had gotten there last night. Seeing that the call was from Antonio, he was suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread. His instincts telling him that something was very wrong.

"No phones. No outside world. Just escapism, remember?" Beth said as she reached for the phone.

"I need to get this. Its important," Matt replied as he swatted away her hand. "Is there somewhere private I can take this?" He hated the idea of talking to Gabby's brother while he was with this woman. If Antonio even got a sense of where he was and what he was doing, and Gabby found out like that. Well, he couldn't bare the thought of how much it would hurt her or how much it would hurt him if for some reason she wasn't hurt by it.

"Fine," Beth sighed. "But once you get back, phone is going off. Bathroom's through that door if you don't want to get dressed or downstairs if you do. I vote don't get dressed." She winked and ran her hand seductively down his body as she got off of him.

As soon as he was able to, Matt jumped off the bed and raced for the bathroom, feeling the need to answer the call as quickly as possible. Once inside he locked the door, not wanting to take the chance that Beth would try to sneak up on him while he was on the phone.

"Antonio," he answered the call.

"Casey, I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't get ahold of Boden, and you're the only other person at the firehouse whose number I have," Antonio explained. The tone of his voice making the sinking feeling in the pit of Matt's stomach instantly ten times worse. "Gabby was in a car accident last night."

"Is she okay?" Matt was pretty sure he already knew the answer, but asked anyways, desperately hoping that Antonio's response would indicate that he was wrong.

"Not really. I don't know much. They took her up for emergency surgery as soon as she got here. That was almost five hours ago, and no one's been out to tell me anything since. She's…," Antonio's voice cracked and he paused for a moment before trying again to get the words out. "She's not stable enough for anyone in the OR to be worried about updating the family. Every time I try to ask for any news, they just tell me that the doctors are doing everything they can. When I got here, they asked me if I knew what she would want in terms of life sustaining measures. She might…," Antonio paused again taking a deep breathe, barely able to say the words, "She might not make it."

"Oh God," Matt couldn't help interrupting. His whole body had begun to shake as Antonio was speaking. How was this happening?

"My parents are on the first flight up here that they could get," Antonio continued. "I've been trying to distract myself by coming up with things I need to do. As I was calling Voight a little while ago to let him know I won't be in today, it occurred to me that you guys were going to need to get someone to cover Gabby's shifts for a while at least. Plus I figured the firehouse would want to be here so I spent half an hour trying to get in touch with Boden before giving up and calling you."

"What hospital?" Matt asked hoping he would understand Antonio's response. The words had stopped making sense right around she might not make it.

"Lakeshore," Antonio stated simply.

"I'm on my way," Matt said before hanging up. Putting the phone down, he grabbed the side of the sink trying to steady himself and remember to breathe. This couldn't be happening. Not Gabby.

Once capable of functioning again, he ran back out of the bathroom, calling Severide.

"Sev," he said as he grabbed his clothes and threw them on.

"I'm at home you know. No need for you to call me. Just give me a minute, and I'll meet you in the living room," a sleepy Severide said before it dawned on him. "Wait are you not home? Did you spend the night with that girl?"

"I just got off the phone with Antonio," Matt ignored Severide's questions. "Gabby was in an accident. Its really bad. She's at Lakeshore. I'm heading there now. Can you make sure everyone else knows?"

Instead of stopping to give Severide time to answer, Matt just assumed his friend would say yes.

"Thanks," he said quickly before hanging up. Fully dressed he raced out of the house to his truck, not even acknowledging Beth as she called after him.

* * *

Needing to get to Gabby as quickly as possible and focused solely on the road ahead of him, Matt wasn't paying attention to how fast he was going. He did, however, eventually notice the police sirens in the rearview mirror. Hopefully, the sirens weren't for him. The last thing he needed right now was to get pulled over and given a ticket, and he certainly didn't have time to stop.

"Damn it," Matt muttered to himself as he saw the cruiser follow him to the side of the road.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" the officer asked.

"Look I'm sorry, but my fiancée was in a car accident overnight and is in critical condition. I need to get to the hospital," Matt didn't realize or care that the words were technically not completely true. In his heart, Gabby was still his fiancée. Besides, he needed the cop to let him go.

"Drives a gray Toyota Corolla? Latina?"

"Yeah," Matt wondered why this guy was asking. Did he know something?

"I worked the scene. Was pretty gruesome. Almost understand why the other guy didn't stick around. It'll be a miracle if she makes it," the officer informed Matt. "Still no excuse for speeding though. Looks like that's what the kid who hit your girl was doing. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be responsible for someone else going through what you're going through now." After taking Matt's license and registration, the officer returned to his cruiser to write up the ticket.

Meanwhile Matt tried not freak out even further. He couldn't believe the officer had actually said that to him. The officer had been there and didn't think Gabby would survive. He just kept telling himself that this man didn't know Gabby, didn't know how strong she was. If anyone could survive even the worst accident, it was her. But Antonio was one of the people who knew her best, and he clearly sounded terrified on the phone. That couldn't be a good sign. No, he couldn't think this way. Gabby would be fine, she had to be.

"Look this over and let me know if you have any questions," the cop said upon returning to Matt's car and handing back his license and registration along with the ticket.

"No questions," Matt said as he threw the papers down on the passenger seat not even bothering to look at the ticket. He didn't have time.

"Ok. Drive safely," the cop replied before leaving Matt for the final time.

As soon as the cop was gone, Matt pulled his car back on the street. That was when one piece of the cop's words finally registered. It had been a hit and run. The other driver was apparently responsible and just left Gabby there to die. He really wanted to hit something, preferably the other driver. Instead he tried to push the anger he felt at that realization out of his mind so that he could focus on getting to Gabby and being there for her as she faced whatever was going to come next.

Fifteen minutes later he was running into Lakeshore, looking for Antonio. There was no sign of him in the ER.

"I'm here for Gabriella Dawson," he said as he approached the nurse's desk. "She was brought in overnight and taken for emergency surgery."

"She's still in surgery," the nurse said after looking up Gabby's information. "Its on the fifth floor."

"I know where it is," Matt said. Not wanting to wait for the elevator he headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time until he made it to the surgical floor, and then headed towards the waiting room, his eyes searching for Antonio.

"Antonio," Matt called once he spotted the man sitting in a chair in a corner of the waiting room.

"Casey," Antonio replied as he got up and approached Matt. "Is everyone else coming?"

That's when it dawned on Matt. Antonio had called him simply because he was Gabby's boss not because he was the man who loved her. In fact, he had only heard directly from Antonio because Boden hadn't answered his phone. Now face to face Antonio was still talking to him as if that was all he was.

"I'll never just be her boss you know," Matt stated, needing Antonio to know that he still loved her, that he would always love her.

"I know. I'm just can't focus on how anyone else is feeling," Antonio told him. "Maybe then I'll be able to stop focusing on how worried I am."

Matt nodded understanding. He had been terrified from the moment Antonio called him, and he was pretty sure he would be until someone told him that Gabby was alive and awake and that he could go see her. No that wasn't true. He wouldn't be okay until he saw those things with his own eyes.

"Has there been any more news?" Matt asked desperate for even the smallest positive sign.

"Not yet," Antonio told him

Matt tried taking a seat next to Antonio, but he found that he couldn't sit still. After a few minutes he got up and began pacing back and forth in the hall. He was trying and failing not to think about how he had been here before, a couple years ago in this very waiting room, waiting for news on a woman he loved and thought he would spend his life with. Things had to end differently this time. They had to.

As hard as losing Hallie had been, losing Gabby would be worse. He loved Hallie and part of him always would, but looking back, he realized that by the end he was more in love with the idea of Hallie, with what he thought she represented, than Hallie herself. There were things about Hallie that he didn't he love, that would have either ultimately torn them apart again or made him miserable for the rest of his life. Things that meant that the idea he had of her in his head could never be the woman she actually was. There was nothing like that with Gabby though. Even the things that infuriated him were all based on things he loved. Her actions at the chemical spill for example. As angry as he was, there was a part of him that couldn't help beaming with pride and thinking, _that's my girl_. Her no holds barred, take no prisoners attitude attitude. Her need to put others first. Those were some of the first things he'd fallen in love with, and he knew that was why she did what she did that day. Still, he was so intent on making sure she understood that she could never do something like that again that he pushed that all aside and never told her about it. He should have though. Maybe if he had, she'd be at home in his arms right now instead of on an operating table fighting for her life.

Over the next hour, the majority of 51 slowly trickled into the waiting room, all of them glad that they didn't have shift that day.

"Cindy will be here once she finds someone to watch the kids. She was planning on bringing some food. You guys want anything in particular?" Hermann tried asking Matt and Antonio.

Matt was too lost in his thoughts to hear Hermann let alone respond but Antonio did. "Not really hungry, and I doubt he is either," Antonio nodded towards Casey.

"She's going to insist on bringing something," Hermann replied. "I assume you guys haven't had breakfast. I'll tell her to bring bagels or something."

"That's fine," Antonio said.

Brett was the one who managed to pull Matt from his thoughts when she tapped him on the shoulder shortly after arriving at the hospital.

"Casey, I'm so sorry," she began. "If I had taken her home or insisted she come to Molly's with me or even just talked to her a little longer at 51, she wouldn't have been there when the accident happened."

Matt looked at her for a minute not really sure what to say. He needed someone to get angry at and blame. The person who was actually responsible wasn't here, and she was offering herself up as a substitute. Still, it wasn't like Brett had control over the situation.

"Its not your fault," he ultimately decided to do what he knew Gabby would have wanted. "You didn't know this was going to happen."

"Still, if there's anything I can do," Brett said.

"She'd just be glad you're all here," Matt told her.

"Come back and sit with us," Brett told him. Not having the energy to argue, Matt followed her back to the waiting room, taking a seat between Severide and Antonio.

A few minutes later, everyone was startled by the ringing of Antonio's phone.

"Its my parents," Antonio said. "They must be between flights at this point. I'm gonna step out to take this. Someone get me if there's any sort of update."

Antonio's words must have finally woken someone up to the fact that no one had given them any real news on Gabby since she was rushed to the OR. As soon as he was out of sight, a doctor approached the group in the waiting room.

"Family of Gabriella Dawson," he said.

* * *

Author's Note: So I left you guys with a cliffhanger again (okay really its the same cliffhanger just this time you know Gabby at least survived the initial impact). I swear I'm not trying to end every chapter with a cliffhanger, but in both cases, it really felt like the right place to leave things.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I'd like to again begin by thanking all my reviewers as well as those who followed or favorited the story after Chapter 2. Your support and responses to this story means so much to me, and it really makes me want to work on this (even when I really should be doing other things).

Going into this chapter I feel like I should mention that I have absolutely no medical background. Any medical knowledge I have comes from what I think I remember from various TV shows. Some of what's discussed in regards to Gabby's condition, predominately the electrocution but a few other things as well, is based on research I did via Google. Others are things I simply wanted to do so I wrote them in without doing any research. I hope nothing is so wrong that it offends anyone with a medical background, but if it does, I apologize.

Now onto Chapter 3. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter 3

 _Slowly but surely the fog was beginning to clear and the darkness was beginning to fade. She still couldn't see any colors or make out anything other than a few blurry shadows. With no idea where she was or how she got there, Gabby at least could figure out that she was sitting in a chair and not a very comfortable one at that. She was holding something too. It eventually started to get brighter. Wherever she was the light was on. The shadows started tightening up, becoming outlines of people, most of whom were standing. There wasn't a lot of noise though. Whoever was with her, they were mostly gathered in silence._

 _It took a while, but eventually, she was able to make out her surroundings. The bright room was a waiting room at Chicago Med, and the shadows turned into the majority of her friends and colleagues from 51. What were they doing here? What was she doing here?_

 _Not everyone was here though, there was no sign of Brett or Cruz or Severide or the Chief. Casey was sitting next to her, holding a stuffed bear in his hands._

" _Matt, the baby?" she asked although as the words left her mouth she had no idea what they meant. In the moment it took Matt to respond, she was hit with a few memories. The baby she'd found in the firehouse driveway. She had gone with her to Chicago Med. Everything after stepping into the ambo was blank though. Had everyone come to check on the girl after shift? Was shift over?_

" _I'm sure Chief or Donna will pass along any news once they have some," Matt told her._

 _She wanted to tell him 'that's not the right baby' even though she wasn't sure why but he spoke before she could get the words out._

" _Listen. About the other night, I really did have to charge my phone. Nothing happened," he told her._

" _What?" she asked confused._

" _With the girl the other night. Nothing happened. I could never do that to you," he clarified._

 _Gabby just nodded still confused. He clearly expected her to know what he was talking about, but she had no idea. How could she let him know that without worrying him? And why was nothing making sense?_

 _Then she saw movement out of the corner of her eye that caused her to quickly turn her head, needing to confirm what she was seeing. Severide had just walked into the room followed by Shay._

* * *

"Family of Gabriella Dawson," a doctor approached where 51 was gathered.

"I'm her fiancée," Matt said automatically as he stood up and approached the doctor. No one had the heart to correct him.

"Her brother's in the hall, on the phone with their parents," Severide added. "Let me go get him."

"Is she out of surgery?" Matt asked unable to wait for Antonio to get back.

"Not yet. It'll probably be a few more hours," the doctor informed him. "I'm Dr. Sanders, one of the residents assisting on your fiancée's case. I was asked to come out and give you an update on Ms. Dawson."

"What's going on?" Antonio asked as he rushed back into the room. "Is my sister okay?"

"That's her brother. Go on," Matt instructed Dr. Sanders as Antonio took his place next to Matt.

"Ms. Dawson was brought in shortly before three this morning with significant injuries as a result of blunt force trauma and electrocution," Dr. Sanders began to explain.

 _Electrocution_ , the word reverberated in Matt's mind. So may scenarios had crossed his mind since Antonio had called him, but this wasn't one of them. It was worse than all of them though except for the one in which he was told she was dead, even the one in which she was paralyzed. At least in those scenarios he knew what they were in for, and Gabby was guaranteed to have a normal life even if it wasn't quite the one she'd had before. She would still be Gabby, his Gabby. Now all of that was up in the air, and all he could do was hope that the damage wasn't too bad, that this wouldn't change her too much.

"As you probably know, after attempting to stabilize her and running some quick scans, she was taken in for emergency surgery," Dr. Sanders continued. "Our efforts have been hampered by the fact that she's gone into cardiac arrest on several occasions, but so far we've been successful in bringing her back. She also had a seizure in the OR which is likely a result of the electrocution. She had massive internal bleeding, which was exacerbated by a ruptured spleen. We've since removed her spleen, and the bleeding is mostly under control at this point. Her pelvis has been completely shattered. The bones in her left leg and arm are broken in multiple places with the most severe breaks occurring in her femur. Both her pelvis and femur will need to repaired surgically. However, this will require a separate surgery as until she's more stable, the longer she spends in surgery, the more likely she is to go into cardiac arrest again. You should be aware that the longer we wait to make these repairs, the more likely the bones are to start incorrectly healing on their own. Ms. Dawson also has five broken ribs, one of which punctured a lung, but that has been repaired as well. Several of her vertebrae are cracked and there is inflammation around her spine. However, there doesn't appear to be any damage to the spinal cord itself so that at least is good news. It appears that the electrocution caused damage to her heart, and she has been bradycardic since she was brought in. This means her heart has been beating at an abnormally slow rate. We expect this to be a permanent result of getting electrocuted and will be implanting a pacemaker to regulate her heartbeat going forward. She has significant cuts on her face and neck, some of which have glass in them. Ideally we would have had a plastic surgeon with us in the OR to remove the glass and try to minimize the scarring from both the cuts and electrical burns, but again we're trying to minimize the amount of time she spends in the OR at the moment so the glass will be removed post-op. Depending on how she's doing, we may have a plastic surgeon take a look in a few days, but at that point it could be too late to do anything about the scarring. On the bright side, it looks like all the glass missed her eyes so her vision shouldn't be affected. That's her general condition at the moment. Do you have any questions so far?"

With everyone still trying to process what they'd been told no one spoke up.

"Okay then" Dr. Sanders resumed after waiting a minute. "We need to talk about the potential long-term effects of electrocution. It appears Ms. Dawson experienced a high voltage shock. From what I understand she was hit by a live powerline. The good news here is, and this may surprise you, high voltage shocks are less likely to be fatal than low voltage shocks."

"I'm a firefighter. I know how this works," Matt cut him off. He needed the man to tell him what exactly was going on with Gabby. The how and why seemed far less important.

"Then as you probably know, the bad news is that it increases the likelihood of significant long-term damage. Electrical shocks can lead to psychological, neurological, and physical problems. These can include personality changes, mood disorders, physical and mental impairment, nerve damage, chronic pain, and a whole host of other issues. If you'd like, I can have a nurse bring you some materials on what to look out for." Dr. Sanders told Matt and Antonio.

"Yes, please." Antonio said weakly as he tried to wrap his head around the idea that this was likely his baby sister's future.

"Good," Dr. Sanders replied. The other thing you need to know is that unfortunately, there's no timetable for when long-term symptoms of electric shock will appear. She may develop symptoms tomorrow. She may seem perfectly fine and then start showing the effects months or years the down the road or it could be somewhere in between. You'll just need to watch her carefully. That's basically all I have for you at this point so I'll ask again, any questions?"

"She _will_ live, right?" Matt asked desperately.

"She's not out of the woods yet so I can't make any guarantees," Dr. Sanders began. "But she's a fighter. Most people wouldn't have made it this far. Take that as a good sign."

"Will we be able to see her once she's out of surgery?" Antonio questioned. He needed to see Gabby with his owns eyes, and he was pretty sure Matt did too.

"Post-op they're going to need to get her settled in a room. She'll need to be immobilized to prevent any further damage as a result of the injury to her pelvis, and her arm and leg will need to be placed in casts. Depending on availability, they may remove the glass immediately or it could wait a while. If it waits, you'll be able to see her beforehand but they'll likely kick you out once they're ready to do that. It's probably not something you'd want to watch anyways. My guess is, it'll be about an hour after she gets out of surgery before you can see her."

Antonio was about to ask another question when Dr. Sanders was paged back to the OR. Everyone looked at each other nervously, hoping this wasn't a bad sign.

"I need to call my parents back and try to tell them this," Antonio's voice sounded deflated as he walked out of the room.

Meanwhile Matt just stood there stoically rooted to the ground, trying to fight the urge to vomit. Gabby was the last person on earth who deserved this. The fact that she was going through it made him sick. He was oblivious to what was going on around him and didn't hear Brett as she spoke.

"He said 3 AM, right?" she muttered to herself. "I dropped her off at the firehouse a little after 10. This didn't happen on her way home. It wasn't my fault."

"Of course it wasn't" Cruz reassured her, pulling his girlfriend into a comforting hug.

Having watched Casey closely since arriving at the hospital, Hermann nudged Severide and motioned for the squad lieutenant to follow him into the hall.

"How do you think he's doing?" Hermann asked.

"Probably as well as can be expected," Severide answered. "We should make sure he knows that no matter what he's not alone. I remember what it was like after Shay died, not that I'm saying Dawson's going to die, but it sounds like best case, she has a long road ahead of her. Even though I knew everyone else was grieving too and that I had everyone's support, I still felt so alone. Whatever happens, things aren't going to be easy for him."

"I'm worried that he's not going to be okay," Hermann admitted.

"Me too," Severide said. "I think as long as Dawson's okay, he'll be okay, but if she's not. When Hallie died, it nearly destroyed him. Dawson dying will be a lot worse. She was the one who pulled him out of it after Hallie. If she doesn't make it. Odds are there isn't another great love out there to come pick up the pieces."

Before Hermann could say anything else, his phone buzzed, and he saw a call from Boden.

"Hi Chief. I got some -" Hermann began before being cut off.

"Christopher, I'm going to need you to make this quick. My father died last night. Donna, Terrence, and I are on our way to the funeral home to discuss the arrangements," Boden explained.

"Aww Jeez Chief," Hermann responded. "This can wait."

"Chief's dad died," he mouthed to Severide when the lieutenant gave him an odd look.

"You've called me ten times in the past two hours. Whatever you have to tell me is clearly important. Just tell me," Boden replied.

"I got some bad news Chief," Hermann began. "Dawson's been in a car accident and is in bad shape. She's in surgery right now. Everyone's gathered at Lakeshore."

Boden let out a sigh before saying, "I assume that's why I have five missed calls from Antonio as well. How's Casey holding up?"

"As well as can be expected. In other words, not well."

"Tell him and Antonio that Donna and I will say a prayer for Dawson. We'll try to stop by the hospital once we finish with everything. We're at the funeral home so I have to go, but give me a call if there's any news," with that Chief Boden hung up. Hermann and Severide headed back into the waiting room to relay the news about the Chief's father.

Upon hearing that the Chief's father had died, Matt knew he should feel bad for the man. After all, Boden was more than a boss, he was a friend and a mentor, but with so much energy and emotion focused on Gabby, he found that he didn't have any to spare.

About twenty minutes later, the intelligence unit rolled into Lakeshore. They couldn't stay long as they were in the middle of a case, but they wanted to see Antonio and lend their support.

"Even though it's not our case, we reached out to the district that's handling the accident investigation and explained who Gabby was. They filled us in on their investigation. There was a red light camera at the intersection that recorded the entire accident. They were able to get the license plate off of the footage to track down the other driver. He's already in custody and awaiting arraignment," Lindsey explained.

"What happened?" Antonio asked.

"The other driver was a fifteen year old kid," Lindsey began. "His parents are out of town for the weekend, and he was left home alone. Apparently after getting into the liquor cabinet, he and his girlfriend decided it would be fun to go for a ride in Daddy's Lamborghini. Once they realized they'd hit another car, they got scared and went home."

"Did they at least stop to see if Gabby was alright?" Matt couldn't help asking.

"He didn't," Jay interjected. "As soon as Gabby's car was out of the way, he sped off. Wouldn't have been able to see anything anyways. There were live wires on her car. One of the neighbors looked out the window once the lights went out and then called 9-1-1."

There was a part of Matt that wanted to find out what district the kid was being held at and go give him a piece of his mind. For being young and reckless. For not caring about what he had done to the most precious woman in the world. Matt promised himself that once Gabby was awake, he would spend some time with her and then do just that. Then he'd come back here and be by Gabby's side for every step of her recovery, making sure she knew how deeply he loved her and how much he needed to be with her. That nothing could ever mean more to him than her and them.

The intelligence unit stuck around for another ten minutes before heading out and promising to try to stop by again later. Matt wasn't sure, but he thought he may have gotten a sympathetic look from Voight as they left. It was probably directed at Antonio though.

Shortly before noon, Dr. Sanders returned to the waiting room, calling Matt and Antonio over.

"Ms. Dawson is out of surgery," he told them.

"How'd it go?" Matt and Antonio asked simultaneously.

"It went well. She made it through the remainder of the surgery without coding again, which could be a sign that she's starting to stabilize. Although I should warn you, it could also mean nothing," he informed them.

"When can we see her?" Antonio asked the same question he had earlier.

"They're just getting her into a room in the ICU now. It looks like they're going to be able to remove the glass shortly. If you don't have any more questions for me at the moment, I'll be back in probably a little over an hour to bring you to her," Dr. Sanders said. He then walked away after Matt and Antonio nodded.

A few minutes later, Gabby's parents arrived. They were understandably frantic. After spending some time talking to Antonio, Gabby's mom approached Matt.

"Hi Matt," she said as she placed her hand on his shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

Matt looked at the woman and shrugged. He didn't know her too well. In the year, he and Gabby were together, he'd only seen her parents a handful of times as they spent most of their time in the Dominican Republic. He always figured he would have more time to get to know them.

"She still loves you, you know," Gabby's mother told him as she took a seat next to him.

"I know," Matt replied. "I hope she knows I still love her too."

"I'm sure she does," she reassured him. "You know the night you two broke up, she called me in tears. Said it was the hardest thing she ever did but that she didn't see any other option. I think even at the point she regretted it, but you know Gabriella. She's too stubborn to ever admit she made a mistake."

Matt couldn't help letting out a chuckle. That was his girl alright.

"You hold onto her. You hear," Gabby's mother continued. "She's going to need you."

"I could never be anywhere else," Matt told her.

An hour later Dr. Sanders returned to the waiting room.

"Ms. Dawson is all settled in her room. She's still unconscious though," he informed them. "A few people can see her at a time, but family only for now."

Gabby's parents and Antonio immediately got up, but Matt sat there frozen unsure of what to do. He loved her and wanted nothing more than to go see her, but was it his place? They weren't together anymore. Despite being distraught herself, Gabby's mom had taken the time to try to comfort him, but did that mean would the Dawson's welcome him if he went with them? Did he have a right to assert that he was still her family?

"You coming Casey?" Antonio turned to him and asked. Matt took that as all the permission he needed as he got up and followed the Dawson's and Dr. Sanders.

"How long should it take for her to wake up?" Gabby's father asked as they walked towards her room.

"Typically, patients regain consciousness within several hours of getting out of surgery. However, your daughter has been through an extremely severe trauma, and her body could need extra time to recover. We'll monitor her closely," Dr. Sanders explained.

"I'll give you some privacy," he added when they reached Gabby's room. He turned and walked away as Matt and the Dawson's made their way into the room.

Matt's breathe caught in his throat as soon as he laid eyes on her. No amount of warning could have prepared him for the sight in front of him. In the bed was his beautiful, beloved Gabby; at least three quarters of her body covered in gauze or plaster while all around wires ran in and out of her. The strong, fierce, independent woman who made his life worth living looked so small and weak. All he could do was try to hold back the tears that wanted to fall.

"My baby," Gabby's mother gasped as her husband wrapped his arms around her, and her son put a hand on her shoulder.

The four people who loved Gabby the most stood in front of her hospital bed, their hearts breaking.

* * *

Author's Note: Please don't hate me for doing that to Gabby. I have my reasons, which hopefully I'll manage to make clear as the story progresses.

On another note, I'm really curious to see if anyone is able to figure out exactly where Gabby is and what's going on with her in the first part. I'd offer a prize to anyone who gets it right, but I don't have anything to give or any way to get it to you if I did.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: As always thank you to my reviewers and those who have followed or favorited this story. I'm glad so many people seem to have enjoyed the first three chapters.

When I first started this story, I mentioned that it would take several chapters to really get a feel for what I had planned. I think that even though some of the details still need to be revealed, by the end of this chapter, you should have an idea of what I have in mind. Hopefully, you guys will like it.

Please let me know what you think. Both positive feedback and constructive criticism are always welcome.

* * *

Chapter 4

After a few hours in Gabby's room, Matt found himself returning to the waiting room with Antonio. Gabby's parents had asked for some time alone with their daughter, and as hard as it was for Matt to leave her side, he couldn't say no to the request. Besides, he knew they would give him the same courtesy later. The fact that he and their daughter loved each other seemed to be far more important to the Dawson's than the fact that they weren't together anymore. It was something he was grateful for. He would have understood if they'd hated him for hurting her and pushing her away when he should have held her close. Sitting next to her hospital bed earlier, he'd begun to hate himself for it. He knew seeing her like this wouldn't have been any easier simply because they were still together, but at least then he wouldn't be stuck feeling like the past couple of months had just been a waste of precious time.

She hadn't woken up yet, and while Dr. Sanders had basically told them to expect it to take a while, it was still unbearable to know that she was just laying in that bed unconscious. Every second she wasn't awake felt like a lifetime. His sense of time was completely gone; he had no idea if they'd been at her bedside for minutes or days. He would give anything to see her big beautiful brown eyes or to hear the sweet sound of her voice. Not that he would be able to hear her voice even if she was awake. The moment he'd noticed the ventilator had been terrifying. A huge relief washed over him when a nurse, who had come in to check an IV, had explained that Gabby was indeed capable of breathing on her own, but they wanted to leave her on the ventilator for a few days so that her body could focus on healing. Dr. Sanders had just forgotten to mention it. She'd apologized profusely for Dr. Sanders but Matt had just been glad to know that as bad as Gabby's situation was it wasn't any worse.

As he entered the waiting room, Matt noticed several trays of food and various members of fifty-one eating what looked like lasagna. When they'd first gone to see Gabby, it had just been bagels. Cindy had clearly been working her magic. Chief Boden, Donna, and little Terrence had also joined the group.

"How is she?" the Chief asked as the men walked in.

"Still unconscious but now officially stable. One of the nurses has started calling her miracle girl, and it seems to be catching on," Antonio said.

"Miracle girl?" Severide asked.

"Because she's still alive. Apparently, no one thought she'd make it through surgery," Antonio explained.

"They don't know Dawson," Hermann butted in. "She's too stubborn to die."

The majority of the people in the waiting room let out a chuckle at Hermann's words.

"That's the only update we have. It doesn't sound like they're going to be able to tell us much more until she wakes up unless she takes a turn for the worse."

"I'll be praying that doesn't happen," Donna said. "You've all had enough tragedy to deal with recently."

"I've reached out to some of the women from Church and arranged for lunch and dinner to be brought here for the next week," Cindy informed Matt and Antonio as she handed them plates of food.

"I'm not hungry," Matt tried to refuse the meal and take a seat.

"You need to eat something," Cindy insisted.

After a few more protests didn't get him anywhere, Matt gave up and took the plate. He ate a few bites and then put the plate down. He hadn't been lying when he said he wasn't hungry. The stress and worry of the day had completely decimated his appetite.

When Gabby's parents emerged from her room, they thanked Cindy for the food and took their own plates. Antonio looked at his watch and then turned to Matt.

"Hey Casey, do you mind if I go in next? Laura's supposed to be dropping the kids off for the weekend in about two hours, and I want to be home when she does. After today, I just need to see them."

"Go ahead," Matt replied. Not that he really wanted to wait, but he knew he would have to give Antonio time alone with Gabby at some point. This way he would be able to stay by her side once he went in, and besides, there was no way he was leaving tonight.

"Donna and I need to get Terrence to bed," Chief Boden told Matt shortly after Antonio headed into Gabby's room. "I'm going to ask everyone to not stay too late with shift tomorrow."

"Chief I -," Matt began before Boden cut him off.

"Don't worry Casey. I'm not expecting you to come into work tomorrow," Boden told him. He knew that the lieutenant needed to be here, and it probably wouldn't be a good idea for Casey to be on shift anyways. His heart would be at the hospital and his focus on the woman lying unconscious in a hospital bed down the hall. It could be a potentially dangerous distraction on a call. "Take a few shifts off. I've already put in a request for relief for Dawson, and Hermann can fill in as acting lieutenant."

"Thanks," Casey mumbled. His mind had already returned to Gabby now that he knew there was no issue with him staying here.

"I'm not going to be there for a while either so -," Boden started to say.

"What? You're missing shift too?" Casey was caught off guard by the Chief's statement.

"Yeah. I'm going to be taking some furlough to spend time with Terrence and Donna. After everything with my Dad, I want to make sure I don't miss anything with my family, especially with how little Terrence is," Boden explained. "There will be an interim chief starting next shift. Neither he nor anyone else can know that you're here with Dawson. If they were to figure out why, we'd both be in deep trouble."

"There's no rule that says Gabby can't serve under me. We were never married," Casey defended what they had done. While he had understood why he and Gabby had to make sure that none of the brass knew about their relationship, he never felt like they were doing anything wrong. Now the Chief's words made him wonder if they had.

"Not a rule per say, but it's certainly something that's frowned upon. We all knew there were risks when I decided to ignore your relationship, and let Dawson do her candidacy on 81. Now we just need to make sure those risks don't come bite us in the ass."

Matt nodded before Boden continued.

"Do you have any family that lives out of town?"

"An uncle. Why?" Matt asked.

"Could there be an emergency that would make you need to go visit him?" Boden asked.

"Well, he retired to Florida several years back. He doesn't have any kids and never married. His only other family would be Christie and Violet and my mom. Violet has school, and Christie's pretty much her only parent at this point. My mom obviously can't leave the state so I guess if something were to happen to him, I'd have to be the one to deal with it."

"Then we can say he had a fall, and you had to go down there to help him out," Boden said. "Everyone else will need to act surprised that you're not there and act like they believe the story."

"I guess," Matt agreed. He really didn't care what they did as long as he was by Gabby's side.

"Take care of yourself Casey, and give Dawson my best once she wakes up. Keep me updated please," Boden said before standing and addressing the group. "Alright everyone. I'm heading out. You all need to do the same soon. We've got shift tomorrow. And no one mention Casey being with Dawson when you get to the house in the morning. I'll explain everything else at roll call."

* * *

Matt walked back towards Gabby's room, bracing himself for the site that he knew awaited him. Not that he'd been able to get the image of Gabby's broken body out of his mind in the few of hours he'd spent sitting in the waiting room, but an image in his mind wasn't the same as an image in front of him. He took a deep breath and then pushed the door open

Antonio had left a few minutes ago to see Diego and Eva. The rest of fifty-one had followed him towards the elevator, leaving Matt and Gabby's parents alone to spend the night at her side. Now the Dawson's sat by themselves in the waiting room so that he could spend some time alone with Gabby.

"Hey baby. It's me," Matt said as he approached her bedside, before leaning in and placing a kiss on her right cheek, one of the spots on her face that wasn't covered in bandages. He then pulled the chair he had been sitting in earlier as close to the bed as he could get it. Once he was seated, he took Gabby's uncasted right hand in his hands, bringing it up to his lips. He then continued to hold it as he spoke again.

"Gabby, I want you to know that I love you more than anything. Nothing could ever change that. You are the strongest, most incredible person I know, and I'm sure you are going to get through this and come out even stronger than you already are. I promise I'm going to be there every step of the way, cheering you on or being a shoulder for you to cry on. You mean too much to me for me to be anywhere else. I need you in this world. You know when you left I knew it wasn't a decision that you made lightly, and I trusted that you did what you thought you needed to do. Your wants and needs are always going to come before mine so instead of trying to stop you or get you to come home, I just kept telling myself that I needed to love you enough to let you go, but not a day has gone by where I haven't missed you or wished that we were still together. I still reach for you every morning when I wake up, expecting you to be lying next to me, and every morning, I'm devastated to feel the empty space on your side of the bed and realize it's not where you sleep anymore. You need to know that as I was sitting in that waiting room, terrified that this was going to be it, that when I watched you walk out to that ambulance was going to be the last time I saw you alive, that your comment about how nothing had changed was going to be the last words you ever spoke to me, I realized something. Nothing matters more than you and me. Nothing. Gabby, I'm sorry I didn't fight for you before and that I made you feel like you had to leave in the first place. I promise no matter how long it takes for you to get there, I'm going to fight for you now, and I'm not going to stop until I have back you."

Needing more intimate contact than holding Gabby's hand provided, Matt leaned against the bed, placing his head in the crook of her neck and caressed the side of her face, careful to avoid disturbing the bandages. While intended to be loving, the action made him realize that she didn't smell like Gabby. In place of the combination of the strawberries and vanilla scent of her body wash and slightly minty scent of her shampoo that he found so incredibly sexy was a sterile hospital smell. That was when the dam broke. The tears that he'd worked so hard to hold back all day started flowing, and he couldn't stop them. He sobbed into her neck and hospital bed until he finally fell asleep. That was how Gabby's parents found him when they returned to her room a couple of hours later.

* * *

" _Hey girl," Shay called as she and Severide made their way towards where Gabby and Matt were seated. "I hear I have you to thank for finding us."_

 _Instead of responding, Gabby sat frozen, staring at Shay and trying to wrap her head around the fact that the woman was standing in front of her, seemingly fine. She was now even more confused than she was before._

" _You feeling okay Dawson?" Shay asked after a minute._

" _Gabby?" Matt asked when she still hadn't responded a few moments later, a hint of concern in his voice._

" _Shay!" Gabby exclaimed as she finally reacted, ignoring the concern of those around her. Standing up, she wrapped her arms around the woman, pulling her into a hug. She had to force herself to resist the urge to cry and scream 'you're alive.' No one else seemed surprised to see Shay standing there. Even though she still had no idea what was going on, Gabby got the sense that she was the only one who remembered her best friend dying._

" _Dawson, it's great to see you too, but I can't breathe," Shay squeaked out._

" _Sorry," Gabby said sheepishly. "I'm just really glad to see you."_

" _Jeez girl. You'd think we'd been missing for days not hours," Shay said._

" _How'd everything go at the District?" Matt asked Shay._

" _Okay I suppose. Brett and I gave our statements, but the bastards who grabbed us aren't talking so they have no way to get any evidence that someone else was behind it," Shay answered. "Kelly wanted to take me home to rest, but I'm more shaken up than anything so after Kelly told me about delivering the Chief's baby in the Squad rig, I wanted to see how they were all doing so I made him bring me here. I think Cruz took Brett home though. You know, I can't believe she didn't tell me they were dating. I always knew about Dawson's relationships before the rest of the house."_

" _Well, she's your partner, but its not like you guys are really close. You ride around with her, but at the house, you're glued to Dawson's hip. Sometimes I think Casey should be jealous," Severide teased._

 _Gabby barely heard him though. Her mind was racing as it started to put some of the pieces together based on Shay's words. The comment about Terrence's birth. To her it had happened a couple of months ago yet somehow he was the baby Matt thought she was referring to earlier, and the reason everyone was gathered in a hospital waiting room. The day he was born was the same day Lullo had kidnapped Mills and Brett. Except Shay had seemingly survived the warehouse explosion since she was clearly alive so she must have been partnered with Brett instead of Mills. Gabby still didn't understand how any of this was happening or how she'd gotten here. Part of her couldn't help wondering if any of this was real. She'd apparently gone back in time but it wasn't completely the past she remembered, and at the moment she really wished she'd paid more attention when Otis would talk about one sci-fi thing or another instead of tuning him out. Still, she was pretty sure she was beginning to understand what was going on around her._

" _I'm not trying to leave her out, but I miss my partner. Things aren't the same when I can't hang out with her in the rig too," Shay told him._

" _As long as you still consider Dawson your partner, you're never going to get close enough to Brett for her to confide in you," Severide said._

" _I can't help it. After five and a half years, she's always going to be my partner," Shay tried to defend herself. "Hey Dawson, you know you did me proud becoming a firefighter and all, but if you ever decide you've had enough of truck and want to come back to ambo, I'll gladly give you back the PIC title if it'll get you on 61."_

 _Those words pulled Gabby out of her thoughts enough to bring a smile to her face. As much as she loved being a firefighter, she would have gladly given it up to be back on 61 with Shay if it meant her best friend was still alive. Wherever she was it seemed she had both._

" _You sure you're okay?" she must still be out of it as Matt was clearly worried about her._

" _Yeah. I'm fine. What day is it?" Now seemed as good a time as any to confirm her theory._

" _December 2_ _nd_ _" Severide said as the three of them gave her an odd look._

 _Terrence's birthday. Her theory had just been confirmed._

* * *

Author's Note: So I don't really feel like I got Boden right, and I'm not thrilled with the way some of the dialogue between Shay and Severide came out. Its just every time I tried to rewrite, I thought it was worse so I went with this. Hope its good enough.

Please review and let me know what you thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: As always I'd like to begin by thanking my reviewers and those who started following and favoriting this story since I last updated. The feedback, positive or negative, means a lot and continues to motivate me for working on this.

I know it took me longer to get this update up than in the past. My goal is to try to be able to post a new chapter roughly once a week, but this pesky thing called real life left me with less time to write over the past couple of weeks than I had before, which combined with the fact that this is by far the longest chapter I've written (roughly 4500 words before any author's notes) meant it took me longer to get this up. I think I should warn you that I have a feeling that both of these things may continue for a while so my updates may become less regular. Part of me is wondering if I should try to bank a few chapters so I can continue to post when I don't have time to write, but then its just going to take longer for me to get the next chapter out.

Based on the reviews for Chapter 4, I think my author's note at the beginning may have implied a little more than I meant it to. I was hoping that people would begin to get a feel for how I was structuring the story not necessarily understand exactly what's going on in the italicized portion. Truthfully, I was intentionally being a little vague with it in Chapter 4 so that people could experience it with Gabby, who is rather confused herself. I promise I will eventually explain what's going on there, but there are several things I want to reveal in the next few chapters before giving the explanation. Otherwise, it'll just be all spoilery. That said if you have any theories as to what's going on, feel free to share them with me in either a review or PM. As long as I have the ability to reply, I'll at least let you know if you're on the right track.

Now I think that's all I have to say so onto the next chapter.

* * *

Chapter 5

Matt's neck and upper back were killing him, and he certainly wasn't laying in his own bed. Whatever position he'd fallen asleep in had not been comfortable. Then he heard the beeping of the machines and whispering voices. He'd been hoping that when he woke up this morning, he'd discover that everything that happened yesterday or even over the past few months had been some horrible nightmare. He wasn't sure what it would say about him if he'd dreamt that the love of his life was so severely injured and had nearly died or that she had left him. Still it was better than the alternative, those things having actually happened. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the reality he was waking up to.

Lifting his head, he saw Gabby's parents sitting on the other side of her bed talking quietly to each other.

"How is she?" he asked, alerting them to the fact that he was awake.

"No change," Gabby's mother informed him. "You sleep okay? We thought about waking you when we came in and saw you sleeping hunched over like that, but you looked content or at least closer to it than you've looked since we got here."

"I'm glad you didn't," he responded. As much as his body wanted to disagree with the statement and he hated the fact that this was happening to Gabby, it was the closest he'd been to her in months. He had really needed it. He hoped that the proximity helped her sense that he was there, filled with love for her, and that it was helping her.

"We were thinking of going to cafeteria to get some breakfast. Do you want to come?" Gabby's father asked him.

"I'm going to stay here," he informed them. "I don't want to leave her alone."

"We'll bring you something back then," Gabby's mother stated. It wasn't a question, and even though he still couldn't imagine having any sort of appetite, saying no didn't seem to be an option.

"Okay," he replied.

"Morning Beautiful," Matt turned his attention to Gabby as her parents left the room.

* * *

Antonio ran into his parents on his way to Gabby's room with his kids. He wasn't sure it was a good idea to bring them given the severity of his sister's injuries, but when he'd arrived back to his place, clearly distraught, after Laura and the kids, he'd been forced to tell them what had happened to their aunt, and they insisted that they wanted to see her and eventually he'd given in. Now the five of them found themselves walking into the ICU.

"If you want some time with your sister and they can't handle this, let us know. Your dad or I will take them to the waiting room," his mother whispered in his ear.

"Thanks Mom," he said.

"Are you sure you two want to go in there?" Antonio asked his kids as they stopped in front of Gabby's room.

"Yes," Diego and Eva said at the same time.

"Then you need to be prepared before you go in there. It might be a little scary," he told them. "Auntie Gabby is asleep. She has been since yesterday and may be for a bit longer. She's covered in bandages, and there's a lot of machines around her. You need to be really careful around her. If its too much for you, let us know and someone will go with you to the waiting room." With that Antonio opened the door.

"Auntie Gabby," the sound of Eva's voice pulled Matt out of his thoughts. He turned his head and saw the girl crying inconsolably as her grandmother hugged her. Meanwhile Diego ran towards Gabby's bed.

"Diego," Antonio tried to stop his son once he noticed what was happening, but it was too late.

The boy ran up to Gabby's bed and began shaking her shoulders as he said, "Wake up Aunt Gabby."

Antonio raced to the bed and scooped Diego up.

"You can't do that," he scolded his son. "Your Aunt's been hurt really badly, and you could make it worse by touching her like that. You need to give her space."

"But Matt's holding her hand," Diego pointed out.

"And you notice that that's all he's doing, and that the hand and arm he's holding don't have any bandages on them. That means it's okay to touch her there as long as your gentle, but the rest of her, especially where the bandages are, needs to be left alone," Antonio explained.

"Why don't Grandpa and I take the two of you to the waiting room to talk for a while," Gabby's mother suggested to her grandkids. "When you're ready to come back, maybe Matt will let you hold Aunt Gabby's hand, Diego."

"I think that's a great idea," Antonio said.

"Oh Matt, we got you egg and cheese on a croissant from the cafeteria and a coffee," Gabby's father handed him the bag before following his wife and grandchildren out of the room.

While Antonio sat silently in the seat across from him, Matt managed to eat about half of his breakfast before deciding he couldn't eat anymore. The two men then talked about Gabby for the next fifteen minutes until the rest of the family returned.

Matt showed Diego how he was holding Gabby's hand before getting up from his seat, letting the boy take his place. He then moved to the corner, where he stood debating whether or not he should stay in the room. Part of him felt like he should give Gabby's family some privacy, but he couldn't bare the thought of being anywhere but by her side.

* * *

" _Gabby why would you ask what the date is?" Matt asked her. She clearly wasn't doing a good job hiding how confused she was._

" _I thought I would get the Chief and Donna something with the baby's birthday on it. Just wanted to make sure I had it right," she wasn't sure if she was supposed to know Terrence's name yet so she thought it was better to just keep referring to him as the baby. "Don't worry Matt. I'm fine. Just have a bit of a headache that's all." She hoped those words would explain how she was acting without worrying everyone too much. They weren't completely untrue either. Things were still a bit foggy and that coupled with the confusion was giving her a headache._

" _You want me to take you home?" Matt asked._

 _Home sounded good. In her world Terrence had been fine so she didn't feel the need to be as worried about the Chief and his family as he had been the first time she was here, and maybe being home she could have some privacy while she tried to get her bearings. It's just she wasn't sure she wanted Matt there with her. He was already worried about her, and he could see right through her. She could try to hide from him for a little while, but he'd eventually know that something more was wrong with her. Then what was she supposed to say? If she told anyone that Shay was supposed to be dead and it was supposed to be more than two months from now, they'd think she had lost her mind. Maybe she had, but she didn't want to cause him any more worry than she already was. No she needed time to sort through what was going on before she let Matt in._

" _Why don't I take her," Shay volunteered. "I owe her for finding Brett and me, and this way, you guys can update us on Terrence when you get home."_

 _So they did know his name at this point. She didn't need to worry about slipping up. That was a relief._

" _You'll just need to drop Severide off at our place Casey since we only have my car," Shay continued._

" _That works for me," Gabby said. Hopefully, she'd be able to get Shay to just drop her off and then she could have the privacy she needed to sort through things._

" _Okay," Matt said as he pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. We'll talk at home when you're feeling better. I love you"_

" _I love you too," Gabby said as she moved to follow Shay out of the waiting room. It felt good to hear Matt say those words to her and to say them back to him again._

 _On their way out, they ran into Chief Boden._

" _Shay, I didn't expect to see you here," he said. "I heard what happened. How are you doing?"_

" _Okay. A little shaken up, but nothing I can't handle," she replied. "How's Terrence doing?"_

" _Still hooked up to the machine," Boden informed them._

" _And you and Donna?" Shay asked._

" _We're trying to hang in there," Boden replied._

" _Dawson's not feeling well so I'm taking her home," Shay explained. "But we'll check back in on you guys when we can. I'm sure everything will be fine."_

" _We got you a gift. Matt has it," a still slightly-dazed Gabby called as she and Shay started walking again._

 _During the ride home, Gabby sat silently in the passenger seat of Shay's car, staring out the window but not really seeing anything. Her mind was racing. At first she tried to figure out how she got here, but then she decided maybe that didn't matter. Maybe she should just embrace the second chance she'd been given._

 _Her two biggest regrets from the past year, maybe even her entire life, were switching places with Shay that day and ending things with Matt. Sure she knew that if they hadn't switched places, she would have been the one hit by the beam, but it didn't change the fact that she had made a call that had cost her best friend her life. And she was shorter than Shay. Maybe it would have hit her in a different spot or at a different angle. Maybe then it would have been a less severe blow. Or maybe if she'd made the call a few moments later, Shay wouldn't have been in that exact spot when the beam came down, and maybe that would have been enough for her to survive. What had she done differently here? Then with Matt she hadn't seen any other option. Things were just so bad both at work and at home, and she couldn't figure out what else to do. Part of her had felt like she had already lost him, and she was terrified that their inability to get their shit together was creating an untenable mess at work. When someone got hurt the whole house of cards would come crashing down, and Casey's and Boden's careers would probably be irreparably damaged. She'd never imagined she'd choose a career over being with the man she loved, the man she'd spent so much time longing for, but even though she hadn't realized it at the time, the moment she decided to do her candidacy on 81, she'd ensured that if things ever went wrong, she'd have no choice but to choose the career. She couldn't switch trucks without having to explain why, and then she'd bring Matt down with her. She couldn't do that to him any more than she could put someone's death on his conscience the way Shay's had been on hers. In a weird way, it had been an act of love. Still, she'd always wondered what if, always wished she'd been able to find another way._

 _Outside of her family, Matt and Shay were the two most important people in her life, and in a matter of months she'd lost them both. Now that wasn't the case. Shay was still alive, and she hadn't broken up with Matt and moved out yet. She'd managed to arrive here right before she made that decision. They were clearly still having the same problems here that they'd had in her world. His words at the hospital confirmed that much, but maybe she could take a little more time here. Maybe she could figure out how to fix them. Maybe she could find that other way._

" _Earth to Dawson," Shay's voice pulled her from her thoughts._

" _What?" Gabby asked confused._

" _We're here," Shay's words prompted Gabby to look at the building she remembered Matt and Severide living in. It felt weird but right to be brought home to the apartment she thought she used to share with Matt instead of the one she thought she shared with Brett._

" _Sorry. Guess I zoned out," she replied._

" _Well, let's get you inside, and maybe get some aspirin in you," Shay said as she opened the car door and got out. Gabby followed suit, and the two made their way into the apartment. Gabby took a seat on the couch while Shay made her way into the kitchen, grabbing a couple of pills from a cabinet and a glass of water, which she then put down on the coffee table in front of Gabby and took a seat next to her._

" _I didn't realize you knew where it was," Gabby commented._

" _You think you can live here for nearly five months, and I'm not going to figure out my way around the place," Shay replied, forcing Gabby to silently remind herself that just because to her it was Shay's first time in this apartment, didn't mean that Shay hadn't been here before._

" _What's going on Dawson?" Shay asked._

" _What do you mean?" Gabby asked back._

" _This is more than just you having a headache," Shay clarified. "Things still bad between you and Casey?"_

" _Yeah, and they keep getting worse. I don't know what to do," she admitted. That may not be the reason she was so off at the moment, but it was still true and a good cover for why she was acting so weird._

" _I'm sorry sweetie," Shay pulled her into a hug. God, she wished she'd had Shay to talk about this with the first time. "What happened now?"_

 _Gabby took a minute to figure out what to say. Was it safe to assume that everything she remembered matched how things had gone down here? How much had she already confided in Shay? She didn't know the answer to these questions so she was just going to have to go with her gut and hope that she didn't give herself away._

 _"Remember how Matt and Severide went out after last shift?" she started._

" _Yeah," Shay replied. "Although I still wish you would have let me take you out for a girl's night. I know we had a big day coming up with the launch of Molly's II so we couldn't have gone too wild, but instead you what? Sat on the couch hoping Casey would decide he'd had enough and come home?"_

 _Gabby chose to ignore Shay's comment and just continue on._

" _He never came home that night. When he showed up at the food trucks the next day, he told me that he and Severide had stayed out all night. Then some bimbo showed up at the firehouse looking to return his phone."_

" _He didn't," Shay cut in. "I swear if Kelly so much as let him even think about it, I'll kill him."_

" _He didn't. According to Matt, they went back to her place so he could charge his phone, and then he passed out on the couch while Severide slept with her. I believe him," Gabby told her friend. "The thing is he lied to me. He looked me in the eye, and he lied to me."_

" _I'm sorry sweetie," Shay sympathized._

" _It gets worse," Gabby sighed. "When I confronted him and we started arguing, he told me that it was my fault because I told Mills that I didn't know if I wanted to be with him. That's not even what I said, but he's convinced it is and won't let me explain. He also said that maybe everything is too big for us and that I don't respect him. You know, I don't think there's anything he could have said that would have hurt more."_

" _Tell me he at least apologized," Shay said._

" _No. As soon as I heard those words, I left shift. I only came back when he called to tell me that Brett and Mi—" she caught herself. "That Brett and you were missing. Still, even if I had stayed, I doubt we would have talked about it. He barely talks to me about anything anymore unless it's to yell at me. You know if you were a random person who just happened to spend a day here, if it wasn't for the fact that we share a bed, you'd think that we were two strangers who happened to be living together. Not that we're engaged and supposedly deeply in love. When he kissed my forehead before we left Chicago Med, that was the first time his lips have touched any part of my body in weeks, and I'm pretty sure it was only because I said I wasn't feeling well." Gabby wiped a tear from her eye._

" _Supposedly?" Shay picked up on the word. "Are you not sure anymore?"_

" _There is no doubt in my mind that I love him just as much as I always have and that nothing could ever change that," Gabby replied. "I think he still loves me, but there are moments when I can't help but wonder if he's changing his mind. Maybe he's noticing a side of me that he didn't see before, and maybe he doesn't like it very much."_

" _Trust me, Casey knew exactly who you were long before you guys got together," Shay reassured her._

" _I don't know if it matters though. Things can't stay like this. It's not fair to you or the guys or anyone in trouble anytime we get a call, and I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I can't imagine ever being truly happy without Matt, but right now he's making me miserable. I screwed up once on a call, and suddenly as far as he's concerned, everything I say and do is wrong. I can't bare the thought of losing him, but I have absolutely no idea how to fix us, and at some point…" Gabby trailed off, her tears turning into full blown crying._

" _It'll be okay," Shay said as she once again pulled the woman into a hug. After a few minutes, she released Gabby and spoke again._

" _Did you know that when I was in high school my parents almost got divorced?"_

" _No, but what does that have to do with anything?" Gabby replied as she tried to calm herself down._

" _They had been fighting nearly constantly for months but occasionally they would stop fighting and go days without speaking to each other. Then it would start all over again," Shay explained. "Meghan and I never knew what the problem was. They both refused to talk about it with us. Eventually, my aunt suggested they seek marriage counseling before lawyering up, and they must have still had some love for each other and some investment in the marriage because they took her advice. It worked too. All these years later, they're happily married, and if you weren't there, you would never know they had hit such a rough patch._

" _From what I've seen and what you just told me, I think you should take my aunt's advice. Couples therapy could do the two of you a lot of good. It sounds like your biggest problem is that you two aren't dealing with your problems. Counseling will force you to deal with them."_

" _I don't know. I mean Matt willingly going to therapy. Have you met him?" Gabby said._

" _Oh I think in the end he will," Shay countered. "I saw how concerned he was about you earlier. That's not a man who doesn't still love you, who doesn't care. He's still invested, and even if he still needs a little time to get his head out of his ass, he does not want to lose you either. That'll matter more than anything else. Don't give up. You two were made for each other."_

 _Before Gabby could respond, she heard a key in the door. Matt was home. Both women turned towards the door, as he entered the apartment._

 _"Any update on Terrence?" Shay asked._

" _Pretty much the same as when you two left," Matt said. "Chief kicked us out."_

" _I'm not surprised. It's his day. He just had a kid, and he probably figured that if you stuck around long enough, you'd find some way to steal the show like when you got engaged at his wedding," Shay laughed._

" _He should just be grateful they got through the whole ceremony and reception without us getting any calls," Matt replied._

 _Engaged at the wedding. No calls. What? That's not what she remembered. It did explain things though. If there were no calls, then they weren't in that godforsaken warehouse when it exploded. That's how Shay was alive._

" _I'm going to go," Shay told Gabby before lowering her voice and adding, "Good luck."_

 _As she made her way to the door, Shay stopped in front of Matt, blocking his path._

" _You fix this Casey," she said as she pointed towards Gabby. "Or I'll kick your ass."_

 _Gabby couldn't help cracking a small smile. She'd really missed Shay._

" _How are you feeling?" Matt asked as he took Shay's place on the couch._

" _Better," Gabby answered as she looked down at her hands and started playing with her engagement ring. It was weird. When she left, she'd been able to look him in the eye, but now she was worried that if she did, she wouldn't be able to say what she needed to. Plus she didn't really want him to see that she'd been crying._

" _Gabby, I—," Matt began before she cut him off._

" _I think we need help," she said as she continued to play with her ring._

" _With what?" Matt was clearly confused._

" _Us," she stated simply._

 _Matt reached out and lifted her chin so that she was forced to look him in the eye. Upon noticing her tears, he reached his thumb up to wipe them away._

" _You've been crying," he observed. Gabby tried to move her head so that he couldn't see, but he wouldn't let her._

" _Is about what I said earlier? You have to know I didn't mean it," he continued._

" _Except you did Matt," she said. "We were arguing. We weren't thinking so we said things we wouldn't have otherwise said and we meant them. It's not just that though. It's everything. We're falling apart, and I don't see how we fix it on our own. I think we need to go to couples therapy."_

" _I know things are rough right now, but I love you. We'll get through this. You and me. A stranger isn't going to know us or what we deal with better than we do," he sounded almost hurt by the suggestion._

 _This was what she was afraid of; Matt wouldn't see any benefit to counseling. She just hoped she wasn't making things worse by suggesting it and pushing for it._

" _Except we're not getting through things Matt. They just keep getting worse," she tried to explain. "You jump to conclusions and don't let me explain myself. I'm afraid that if I try talking to you about us, I'm going to put my foot in my mouth again and create another problem between us so I've been trying to ignore everything, but that doesn't seem to be helping either. And I don't even know how to talk to you about work anymore because it's never clear if I'm going to get my lieutenant or my fiancée. I never should have left shift today, and you never should have let me. We said we'd keep work and home separate, but we're not."_

" _I'll be better. I promise," Matt told her._

" _It's not that simple," she replied. "Things can't keep staying the way they are. At some point we're going to break at home or work or both. The last thing I want is to lose you, but I don't know how much longer I can do this. You said that maybe this was too big for us, and maybe if it is just the two of us trying to deal with everything, you're right, but maybe someone whose not part of all of it can give us the perspective we need to bring it back down to something we can handle. I don't know any other way to fix us. Please Matt."_

 _She didn't like begging but she needed Matt to see how serious and desperate she was. He needed to understand that she saw this as a last ditch effort to save them._

 _Matt removed his hand from her face and ran it over his own. That was when she knew he was at least thinking about it. After about a minute, he spoke._

" _I still think we can get through this on our own, and I've never liked the idea of going to therapy," his words were starting to make her nervous. "But I'd do anything for you so if this is what you really want, I'll do it."_

" _It is. Thank you," she felt a huge sense of relief. "Matt, there's something else I think you need to hear, and I don't want to wait until we find a counselor to say it. Just before you start reacting to it, hear me out"_

" _Okay," he said._

" _Do you know why Mills and I broke up?" she asked._

" _I don't really want to hear about your past relationships Gabby," he told her._

" _I get that. I do, but trust me you need to hear this," she paused for a moment to see if he would say anything else. When he didn't she continued. "He asked me to tell him honestly that I didn't have feelings for you, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't because the truth is I started falling in love with you pretty much the moment I met you, and everyone else I was with since then I was only with because I didn't think I would ever get to be with you. So you see I'm not ever going to go running back to Mills or any other ex because they were just the consolation prize, and I'm never going to question whether I want to be with you. It's all I've ever wanted, and no matter what happens between us, I'm never going to stop wanting it."_

 _Matt must have liked what he heard because his face broke into a smile, the one that was reserved just for her, and then his lips came crashing down onto hers._

* * *

Author's Note: I know the majority of this chapter takes place in the italicized world that Gabby's found herself in and people are finding confusion. I hope that hasn't interfered in people's ability to enjoy the story.

Please let me know what you think. I'll have Chapter 6 out as soon as I can.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: As always thank you to all my reviewers and those who have followed or favorited this story since the last chapter was posted.

Before diving into Chapter 6, there are a few housekeeping items I want to get out of the way. I've been referring to Gabby's parents simply as Gabby's mother and Gabby's father throughout the story. I don't recall them ever being really mentioned or named on the show, and for some reason I felt weird trying to make up names for them so this seemed simpler. That said would you guys rather I gave them names or is it okay if I just continue referring to them this way? Also, on the Gabby family front, I don't watch PD so while I know the names of Antonio's kids and wife and that they split, I have no basis for how to write these characters so if they're really off, that's why. Lastly does anyone know where I can get screenshots? I'd like to create a cover image for this fic.

Now onto chapter 6. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter 6

It was late afternoon. Matt, Antonio, Diego, Eva, and Gabby's parents had been in her room for the majority of the day only leaving briefly when Cindy Hermann stopped by with pasta salad for lunch. Eva and Diego spent some of the time updating Matt on what had been going on in their lives since his breakup with Gabby, making sure to also talk to their aunt when discussing what had happened in the past week. Wanting to spare the kids from how bad the situation was, they'd spent the rest of the time making small talk and sharing memories of Gabby, Matt enjoying hearing various stories for the first time.

"We should probably get going," Antonio informed his kids. "Your mom will be by to pick you up after dinner."

"But Auntie Gabby's not up yet," Diego protested.

"I know, but I have to get you two back to your mom," Antonio explained. "I'm sure if you asked, she'd bring you back when your aunt is awake."

"Grandma and I will walk out with you," Gabby's father offered hoping to placate the boy.

"Fine," Diego relented. The kids and Antonio said their goodbyes and then the Dawson's left the room.

Once they were out of the room, Matt moved to reclaim his seat, placing a kiss on Gabby's cheek and stroking her hair before sitting down next to her. He took her hand into his, kissing it before speaking.

"Hey baby. It's just you and me right now. I'm sure your parents will be back soon though. I hope you enjoyed having Diego and Eva here. I know you've missed them since Antonio and Laura split. They're really worried about you. We all are. Don't be too embarrassed by your parent's and Antonio's stories. I loved hearing every word of them and getting to know more about how you became the most amazing woman I've ever known. I'm sorry for laughing earlier. I wasn't laughing at you. It's just the image of a teenaged Gabriella Dawson kneeing some poor boy in the balls because he dared to make fun of you for wanting to try out for the boxing team. I know you'd have some retort about he wasn't some poor boy, but you can't blame a guy for sympathizing with someone who got kicked in the balls even if he was a jerk to the love of my life. I have never known you not to stand up for yourself. It's one of the things I've always loved about you. Although I can't believe I didn't know how much you used to try to be a mini-Antonio, wanting to do whatever he did. I'm glad you changed your mind about following in his footsteps and becoming a cop though. Even if we had still found each other, it wouldn't be our story. I wouldn't have gotten to work with you for all these years or fall in love with a little bit each day without even realizing it until finally I couldn't even imagine my life without you in it. I still can't you know," Matt paused as tears began to form in his eyes, trying to keep them at bay. "Only you can get me to pour my heart out like this or get so emotional. You need to wake up so you can see this for yourself. I'll take whatever teasing you want to throw my way as long as it means you're back."

Matt was caught off guard when Gabby's father cleared his throat. He had been so caught up in Gabby and his own emotions that he hadn't heard her parents return to the room.

"How much of that did you hear?" he asked.

"Enough to know how loved my daughter is. It's all I've ever wanted for her," Gabby's father said.

"I love her more than anything. Thank you for letting me be here. I know you didn't have to, especially since we're not together anymore," Matt said.

"Of course. Whether you're together or not, I know Gabriella would want you here," Gabby's mother said.

Gabby's father was about to say something else, but before he could get anything out, everyone's eyes darted towards the bed, where Gabby's body had started shaking.

"Gabby," Matt called in fear as the realization that she was having a seizure dawned on him.

"We need help in here," Gabby's mother raced towards the door and called in the hall.

A doctor Matt didn't recognize and several nurses came rushing in a moment later.

"She's seizing," the doctor called out the obvious.

One of the nurses took Matt and Gabby's parents into the hall. Matt stayed glued to the doorway watching the medical team work. He watched as they put an oxygen mask over her face, leaving just enough room to put a suction tube into her mouth, and turned her on her side, an action that made him cringe given the state of her body. Not that the shaking could have been good for her injuries either. One of the nurses injected what he could only assume was an anticonvulsant into one of the Gabby's IV's. Finally, after what felt like hours but couldn't really have been more than a few minutes, Gabby's body calmed down, the seizure ending, and Matt letting out a breathe he hadn't even realized he'd been holding.

"You can come back in," one of the nurses called, prompting the three of them to make their way back in the room.

"Do we need to be worried about what just happened?" Gabby's mom asked, her voice laced with worry.

"Possibly but there could be various causes for the seizure so let's not get ahead of ourselves," the doctor said as she picked up Gabby's chart and started flipping through it. "I'm not part of Gabriella's regular medical team, and don't know enough about her situation to be able to give you a clear answer. I'll brief her doctors on what happened, and one of them will by to talk to you."

With that the doctor left the room, leaving Matt and Gabby's parents to return to their usual spots. The three of them sat in silence, not wanting to express how worried they were, for the next half hour until Dr. Sanders arrived.

"I understand the three of you were in here when Gabriella had the seizure," he said.

"Yes," Gabby's father answered. "I've read all the material you've given us. Is this a permanent condition?"

"While electrocution can lead to long-term problems with seizures, I wouldn't say we're there yet. Seizures are also common in the near-term aftermath of an electric shock, and at that point, they are not necessarily indicative of a long-term disorder. It's been just under two days since the accident at this point so I would still classify this as the near-term. That said this was her second seizure, and we'll be monitoring her closely going forward. If she continues to have seizures, we'll do an EEG and look into prescribing an anticonvulsant."

Everyone just nodded unsure of whether or not they should be relieved by his words. Seeing that he wasn't going to be getting any further response, Dr. Sanders told them to let a nurse know if they had any more questions and left the room.

Shortly after the doctor left, one of Cindy's church friends stopped by with dinner. One of the nurses brought it into the room for them so that they didn't have to leave Gabby's side.

Once he was done with the few bites that constituted his dinner, Matt once again took Gabby's hand in his as he settled into what had become his chair, preparing himself for another night at Gabby's bedside.

* * *

Severide was on his way out of 51. It had been a long shift. The interim chief was well interesting might be a polite way to put it. He hoped Matt had gotten through the last thirty six hours okay. At the hospital the other day, he had noticed his friend get more and more distraught as time went on. Even seeing Dawson hadn't done much to calm him. Although considering everything they'd heard from the doctor, Severide wasn't really surprised the sight hadn't been the most comforting. Given the lack of news from the hospital during shift, he doubted his friend was doing much better.

"Hey. You're Matt's friend, right?" a woman asked as she approached him in the firehouse hallway.

"Do I know you?" he questioned back.

"No, but I saw you talking with him at the luau the other night. I'm Beth," she informed him.

So this was the woman Casey had left the bar with, the one he was pretty sure Casey had slept with. He had seen them together at Molly's but hadn't gotten a good enough look to recognize her in any other environment. She must be here to see Casey, but how did she know he worked here?

"Is everything okay with him?" Beth continued. "He just kind of raced out of my place the other morning."

Yup, they had slept together. Severide looked around glad to see that no one was in earshot. There was no way that Matt would want anyone to know. Even ignoring the fact that he was a private man, this was Dawson's workplace with her friends too. Matt was lucky that no one had seemed to put two and two together at the hospital. Everyone had probably either been too distracted to notice that he was still wearing the same outfit he'd worn to the luau or just assumed that he'd grabbed the quickest thing to put on in order to get to the hospital faster.

"He's dealing with a family emergency," Severide told her. Put like that it didn't seem like a lie. Whether they were together or not, Dawson was a part of Matt's family.

"Oh," she said. "Would you mind giving him my number? I'd like to see him again"

"Sure," Severide answered. Despite having told Matt to put himself out there in first place, Severide didn't really want to pass along this woman's number. Maybe it was everything that happened since, but he had begun to think that suggesting Matt move on when he was obviously still so in love with Dawson hadn't been the best advice even if he had just wanted his friend to get off of what was clearly an emotional roller coaster. Yet he agreed because he hoped it would help end this conversation before anyone else heard anything. Besides given what had happened, he couldn't imagine Matt doing anything other than throwing the number away.

"Thanks," Beth said as she grabbed some paper and a pen out of her purse.

"Are we really going to do this?" Chief Pridgen asked as he approached them, confusing Severide.

"Yes" Beth said as she finished writing.

"Here you go," she turned to Severide, handing him the note and smiling at him.

"Severide, are you hitting on my wife?" Pridgen asked him.

"About to be ex-wife," Beth corrected him.

Oh boy. This wasn't good.

* * *

"What's everyone doing out here?" Severide asked as he made his way into the waiting room by the Lakeshore ICU. With everyone apparently heading straight to the hospital from shift, he was the fifth person from 51 to arrive in the past ten minutes, and the fifth person to ask some version of that question. Seeing Casey frantically pacing while the Dawson's sat next to each other in three chairs against the far wall seemed to startle everyone.

"They kicked us out of Gabby's room," Antonio explained. "They're running some tests. She still hasn't woken up yet, and I think the doctors are starting to get worried."

Matt just wished he didn't have to hear Antonio give the same explanation over and over again. It wasn't doing anything to help calm his nerves. Gabby would wake up soon. He was sure of it or maybe he just needed to believe it. Regardless it was a mantra he kept repeating in his head, but seeing the concern on the doctors' faces when they'd taken Gabby for the tests had put him on edge. He knew they were looking for something that he wouldn't like.

"Let's go to the cafeteria and get some coffee," Severide suggested to Matt.

"I can't leave. Someone could be out with the test results or to let us back into Gabby's room soon," Matt protested.

"Hey Otis," Severide said as Otis got off the elevator and entered the waiting room. "I'm taking Casey to the cafeteria. Can you come get us when there's an update on Dawson?"

"Sure," Otis said, clearly confused.

"Problem solved," Severide said to Matt. "Let's go."

Once inside the cafeteria, Matt and Severide grabbed some coffee and then sat at the closest empty table to the door that they could find. It was technically a table for six, but Matt had insisted they sit where he could easily see Otis if the man came to get them.

"How are you holding up?" Severide asked once they were seated.

"I'm just waiting for Gabby to wake up," Matt replied not wanting to admit that he was still hoping that one moment he would wake up from this nightmare in his bed at home with Gabby perfectly fine and sleeping peacefully in his arms.

"I know but how are you really doing?" Severide pressed.

"She's alive so I'm hanging in there," Matt realized Severide wasn't go give up. His voice got shaky as he continued. "But it's so hard to see her like this. I'd trade places with her in a heartbeat. Not that I'd want her to have to go through what I've been going through but at least she'd be safe. She has to be okay. She has to."

Severide just nodded not sure which one of them was better off. Dawson who should probably be dead but was somehow alive, whose body had been so severely damaged that there was no way to know what the future had in store for her, who had been unconscious for over two days. Yet as long as she was unconscious, there was the possibility that she was blissfully unaware of her situation. Or Matt who was clearly in such emotional agony over the fact that all of this was happening to the person he loved most in the world, who had no idea if the life he'd dreamed of having with her was even still possible all the while holding steadfastly to the belief that it was.

"Has there been any change since we left the other day?" Severide asked after a minute of silence.

"No," Matt answered not wanting to mention the seizure because it meant he would have to think about it. "They were hoping to have her off the ventilator by now, but they wanted to do that when she was awake so she's still on it. We haven't even heard anything about when they intend to bring her back to the OR to address her broken bones or the scarring. I don't care about the scarring, but if they don't do anything about the bones, what does that mean for Gabby? The doctor said there could be long-term damage if they're not repaired. They should be doing whatever they can to help her and make sure she gets to have the life she deserves."

"I'm sure if they haven't operated on her again there's a reason for it," Severide said.

"I know. I just feel so helpless," Matt admitted quietly.

"I wish I could do something to help," Severide sympathized. "You know we're all pulling for her."

"I do," Matt said.

"Look I didn't bring you down here just to talk about what's been going on with you and Dawson. There's something we need to talk about, and I didn't think you'd want to do it with everyone around," Severide said. "Boden can't get back soon enough. The guy filling in for him is an ass. You should have seen how he was treating Otis earlier. Hermann tried to stand up for him, but it didn't do much good. Probably didn't help that he was only the acting lieutenant."

"If you're trying to get me to come back to work, you're not doing a very good job. Besides, I'm not going anywhere until Gabby's awake and out of intensive care," Matt replied.

"That's not where this is going," Severide began to explain. "The woman you met at the luau, the one you slept with, she showed up at the firehouse this morning to see the interim chief. Turns out she's his wife. I'm telling you this because if he's still around when you come back to work, you'll need to be careful. She's clearly interested in you, and based on what I saw during shift, if she stops by while you're there or this guy figures out what happened between the two of you, things could get ugly. You've got enough on your plate with what's happened to Dawson, you do not need to add a mess at work on top of it."

Matt just nodded solemnly. There was no way anything would happen with Beth again, but he really didn't like being reminded that something had happened with her in the first place. As far as he was concerned it was one of the biggest mistakes of his life, second only to everything that had cost him Gabby in the first place. He felt like he'd betrayed her. Sure they weren't together at the moment, but they had agreed that they were putting them on hold. It had basically been a promise to get back together when the time was right. Did that make it okay for him to sleep with someone else? Shouldn't he have just waited for Gabby instead of using another woman to try to forget how much he was hurting and missed her? Worst of all he'd been having fun in some random woman's bed while Gabby was nearly getting killed. While logically he knew it was ridiculous, he couldn't help but feeling like this was all somehow his fault, that Gabby was in that hospital bed in part to punish him for what he had done and remind him that there was no way he could ever move on from her. It was something he didn't know if he would ever be able to forgive himself for.

"I spoke to her at the house on my way out this morning," Severide continued. "She recognized me from the luau and gave me her number to give to you."

"I don't care what you do with it, but I don't want it. The only woman I have any intention of being with ever again is Gabby. She's going to wake up, and I'm going to get my girl back," Matt said definitively.

"Good for you," Severide smiled.

The two finished their coffee in silence before heading back up to join everyone in the waiting room. A few minutes after they got there, Dr. Sanders came in to give them an update.

"What's going on?" Matt asked as soon as he saw the man.

"As you know we ran some tests on Gabriella this morning. What you don't know is that we reran some of the tests that we ran after she initially came out of surgery," Dr. Sanders explained. "A couple of days ago the tests showed no reason to believe that there was anything that would keep her from waking up other than the severity of her injuries."

"But they do now?" Gabby's mother asked nervously.

"I'm afraid so," Dr. Sanders said. "It appears that Gabriella has fallen into a coma."

* * *

Author's Note: Hopefully, with this entire set in the regular font storyline, there was less confusion that with some of the previous chapters.

The good news is the last piece of information I wanted to reveal before giving you my explanation for what exactly is going on was in this chapter. That said I want I want to let everything marinate before I go through the explanation so it will be at the beginning of the next chapter. In the meanwhile, I'm really curious to see what, if anything, people have been able to piece together about what's been going on. I promise that if you have an account, I'll respond to any and all theories.

Have a great weekend.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: As always, thank you to all my reviewers. Now as promised here's the explanation for what exactly is going on.

So at the beginning I said that I had threads running in my head that I thought I could make a story out of. Those threads were the Matt and Gabby going to counseling when they started having problems instead of breaking up, something happening to either Matt or Gabby to make the other realize that they made a big mistake not fighting for their relationship, and something interrupting that awful weekend Casey spent with Beth.

I put it all together by essentially creating a dual narrative. Gabby's car accident pretty much handled the last two. Although while Matt wasn't going to be spending the whole weekend with Beth, as much as it pained me, I did decide that he should find out after he slept with her because it would be a bigger emotional blow to Matt. Meanwhile an unconscious Gabby's mind created her ideal world, one in which Shay never died and she and Matt fought for their relationship, basically correcting the biggest things that went wrong in her life in the past year and addressing the first thread. Gabby has no memory of the accident or what happened in the hours leading up to it so when she finds herself in this world, she doesn't understand what's going on, which is why I was being vague when she first "woke up" in this world; I wanted people to experience what Gabby was experiencing. When she decided to just embrace this world, she fell into a coma.

Essentially the part of the story that takes place in regular font is what's happening in the "real world" with Matt and the rest of Gabby's friends and family, although primarily Matt, dealing with what's happened to Gabby and its repercussions. The part that takes place in italics is what I've been referring to in my head as Gabby's dreamworld, its Gabby living the life her mind has created for her. Not everything is going to be perfect in this world, but her mind is creating these situations based on things that it thinks could happen or things she wants to happen, and just like with any other dream, time moves faster here than in the real world.

Hopefully that helps clear things up. If people still have questions, let me know, and I'll see if I can provide further clarification, and if it'll help, I can label each section of the story with what world it takes place in. Just let me know.

I do have a storyline planned out for the dreamworld, but there are gaps so if anyone has anything they'd like to see in it, let me know, and if I think I can fit it in with what I've planned, I'll use it to fill in a gap in the timeline.

My goal is to have a section of each chapter that takes place in each world, but if the chapters wind up being ridiculously long, I'll break them up in whatever way I think makes sense based on what I've written at the time I make the decision. For example, this chapter was originally intended to be part of chapter six, but when I finished the real world section and saw how long it was, I decided to post each world as separate chapters (thanks GygyFr for the suggestion). Now that I've finished this part, I think it was definitely the right call because the combined chapter would have been around 7,000 words.

I think that's pretty much all I have to say on this at the moment so now that you've made it through this ridiculously long author's note, here's chapter 7.

* * *

Chapter 7

 _Gabby hadn't been able to sleep; she was too nervous. At some point though slumber must have overtaken her because suddenly it was light out and Matt was no longer next to her. Turning her head towards the clock on her nightstand she saw that it was nearly 9:30. Getting out of bed, she made her way towards the kitchen, where she saw Matt sitting at the counter drinking coffee and reading the paper. She entered the room, heading straight for the coffee pot._

" _Morning," Matt said when he noticed her. "Thought I'd let you sleep. You seemed pretty restless last night."_

" _Sorry. Did I wake you?" Gabby asked._

" _Don't worry about it," he told her. "Everything okay?" Since their talk the day she wound up here, they'd been trying to be more open and focused on each other. They still had a long way to go, but things were starting to get better between them._

" _Yeah. I know I'm the one who wanted us to go to therapy, but now that the day's here, I guess I'm just nervous," she told him. They'd agreed to try relationship counseling a week and a half ago. In the time since, they'd looked into therapists before one of the regulars at Molly's overheard them talking and suggested a doctor who had helped to save her marriage. After doing a little research on the doctor, they'd called the woman yesterday. She had just had a cancellation for this afternoon when they called and offered them the appointment._

" _I mean what if we don't like this woman or she can't help us? What if it turns out we're beyond saving?" Gabby continued._

" _We will never be beyond saving," Matt reassured her. "And whether it's with this woman's help or not, we will figure things out. We'll be fine. I promise."_

" _I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so negative. It's just baring our souls to a stranger is turning out to be a bit scarier than I first though," Gabby tried to explain herself._

" _Its fine. I'm a little nervous too," Matt admitted. "Do you want me to make breakfast?"_

" _You haven't eaten yet?" Gabby was surprised given the time._

" _No. I didn't want to do anything that might make too much noise in case it woke you," he told her as he got up, revealing that he was still in just his boxers. "What do you want?"_

" _Pancakes," she replied as her eyes roamed his body. Despite all the times she'd seen Matt in nothing more than his underwear, the view had yet to get old, and she doubted it ever would._

" _Why don't you go take a shower, and I'll have them ready when you get out," Matt suggested._

" _You want to join me or I could always wait if you want to eat first?" Gabby smiled seductively._

" _Nah, that's okay," Matt replied._

 _Gabby didn't say anything then. Instead she just turned and walked back to their bedroom to get ready for her shower, not wanting Matt to see how disappointed she was. After her confession to Matt the night he agreed to therapy, they had passionately made love. She had taken it as a promise that better days were ahead, but since then nothing. She had tried to start something a few times, but Matt would pull away at the first kiss, finding some excuse. This morning was the first time he had just straight shot her down though, and it hurt. Had she disappointed him when they made love or done something wrong in the time since? She knew she needed to talk to him about it, that staying silent was in many ways a symptom of the same problems they'd been having for weeks, but she didn't know how to bring it up let alone how to talk about it with him without sounding insecure. Hopefully, this was something their therapist would be able to help her with._

* * *

 _Matt and Gabby had been sitting in the waiting room at their therapist's office for twenty minutes. It was nearly 2:40, meaning the therapist was almost ten minutes late for their 2:30 appointment. Gabby wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad sign, but her nerves had been getting worse and worse all day. Now her stomach was doing back flips. Looking over at Matt he seemed so calm, flipping through an old issue of Sports Illustrated that he'd found on the coffee table._

 _"What do you think is taking so long?" she asked him._

 _Before Matt could answer, the door to the therapist's office opened and three people emerged. Two of them headed towards the door while the third headed towards the couple._

" _You must be Gabriella and Matthew," the woman said as she reached them. "I'm Dr. Jessica Hanson, but you can call me Jessica. I'm sorry I'm so late. We were having a breakthrough in my last session, and I don't like stopping in the middle of something big; it's a disservice to my clients. I leave time between appointments to try to cover any overrun but sometimes it's not enough."_

" _I'm Gabby and this is Matt," this woman seemed really nice and friendly. Gabby liked her already._

" _It's nice to meet you," Jessica said. "If you'll follow me into my office, we can get started."_

 _Once inside the office, Jessica directed Matt and Gabby towards a couch and then took a seat in an armchair on the other side of a coffee table._

" _I wanted to start by introducing myself. As I said earlier, my name is Jessica. I have a Ph.D in psychology from Northwestern and am a Licensed Professional Councilor in the state of Illinois. I've been in private practice, specializing in relationship and family counseling, for the past fifteen years. My husband and I have been married for eighteen years, and we have three children so I completely understand how hard it can be at times to make a relationship work. If there's anything else you want to know about me, please let me know. I want you to be comfortable with me," she introduced herself once everyone was seated._

" _I like to use my first session with a couple to get to know them and understand the problems they're dealing with. In my experience some couples are eager to get started. Others are more hesitant, but everyone is here because there are issues in their relationship that they don't know how to deal with. My job is to help you figure out a way to deal with those issues so you two can move forward. There are two things you need to understand though. First, I do not view saving the relationship as the goal of relationship counseling. The goal is to find the path forward that's best for both of you, whether it's one you take together or separately. Secondly, in order for this to be successful you both need to be committed to what we're doing here. Do you understand?"_

 _Gabby tensed at the woman's words; they were not what she wanted to hear. She and Matt were here to make sure they were okay after all._

" _We do," Matt squeezed Gabby's hand in an effort to reassure her as he spoke for both of them._

" _Okay. I'd like to start with a high level summary of what brought you here, and then meet with each of you individually today," Jessica explained her plan for the session. "Gabby why don't you go first."_

" _After we got engaged, Matt became my boss," Gabby explained. "We swore that we could handle it and that home and work wouldn't interfere with each other. At first everything was great, but lately, we've really been struggling. It's starting to get in the way at work. As a couple, we were barely speaking, and when we did, we were usually yelling or talking past each other. We had a talk the day we decided to do this, and we're trying to be better, but I think we need an outside perspective to help us balance everything, which is why I wanted to do this."_

" _Where do you work?" Jessica asked. "Most employers wouldn't let someone supervise their girlfriend, let alone fiancée. It's generally seen as a conflict of interest."_

" _Fire Department, and no one at headquarters knows about us. In the CFD its pretty much our chief and the people in our house who knew that we were a couple, and no one outside of 51 had any idea that we were engaged ," Matt explained. "Gabby was trying to switch careers and putting her on my truck was the fastest way for her to do that so the Chief offered to look the other way, and we put the wedding on hold."_

 _Jessica nodded as she wrote some notes before speaking._

" _Matt, do you agree with Gabby's assessment?" she asked._

" _For the most part," he answered. "I think it really comes back to two things. There are situations in which I have to be her lieutenant first, and I don't think Gabby was ready for that. Then I probably overreacted when I heard her talking to Mills."_

 _Gabby wanted to say something, but before she could, Jessica interjected._

" _Whose Mills?" the woman queried._

" _He's someone we work with, and my ex," Gabby explained._

" _Okay," Jessica said as she wrote more notes. "We'll talk about that and everything you both just said later. I want to spend the rest of this session getting to know both of you, and like I said earlier, I want to meet with each of you one on one today. Why don't I start with Gabby again? Matt would you mind going back to the waiting room for a bit?"_

" _Sure," Matt said. He squeezed Gabby's hand as he got up._

 _Once Matt had left the room, Gabby and Jessica spent some time discussing Gabby's background before getting into what Gabby thought was the more relevant topic, her relationship with Matt._

" _So how did the two of you meet?" Jessica asked._

" _At the firehouse," Gabby answered. "I had been with the CFD for a couple of years and had just been promoted to PIC, which is basically the lead paramedic on an ambulance. I'd had to change houses because my partner at the time was our PIC and wasn't going anywhere so the only way I could get the promotion was to transfer. On my first day, I got there early to meet with the Chief, and as he was taking me to the briefing room for roll call, I saw three men laughing and joking in the hall." Gabby couldn't help but smile at the memory of Matt with Severide and Andy acting like they didn't have a care in the world._

" _Matt was in the middle," she continued. "He had this huge smile on his face and looked so incredibly handsome. I didn't believe in love at first sight, and I still don't, but lust at first sight sure. Looking back I was instantly attracted to him. Although I didn't realize it at first. I was disappointed when I learned he was taken, and that's when I knew."_

" _What happened after you saw Matt for the first time?" Jessica asked._

" _Chief introduced me to the house during roll call, but I didn't actually get to meet anyone because we got called to a fire," Gabby recalled. "It was a bad fire, and we were on the scene into the early afternoon. Several people were pretty badly burned, but fortunately, there weren't any casualties. When my partner and I got back to the house after bringing one of the burn victims to the hospital, everyone was standing around the common room arguing about where to get take out from for lunch. I offered to cook thinking it was a way to make a good first impression. Of course they then decided to make me the designated chef until we got a candidate a few months later. Anyways, at that point everyone had pretty much forgotten that they hadn't officially met me and went their separate ways. Matt stayed in the common room with a couple of the guys watching something on TV that I didn't recognize. I was having a hard time finding stuff in the kitchen and kept trying to get the guys' attention, but they were too caught up in whatever they were watching to notice. Eventually Matt noticed. He came over and helped me figure out where everything was. He didn't do much to help me with the actual meal, which trust me is a good thing. Matt's great with breakfast and a handful of other things, but for the most part, he has a pretty limited repertoire. Even though he didn't help beyond telling me where to find stuff, Matt did hang out with me while I cooked. It was pretty much our first real conversation. We'd talked a little at the scene earlier, but it was very much a firefighter talking to a paramedic. After lunch, he told me that it was the best soup he ever had, and ever since, I can't help but think of him every time I make it." As she spoke she found herself remembering details and feelings from that day that she had long since forgotten._

" _How long did it take the two of you to get together?" Jessica posed her next question._

" _Years," Gabby laughed. "I think I said earlier that he was taken. If I didn't, he was, and he was committed to his relationship with Hallie. Even if he felt something for me, he never would have acted on it. We did become really great friends pretty quickly though."_

" _Tell me the story," Jessica prodded._

" _I spent the next month or so getting to know everyone and trying to become part of the group. At the time I was the only woman on our shift at the house, and while none of the guys would admit it now, it did take a few of them a while to get used to having a woman around and comfortable with the idea. Even everyone who was perfectly okay with having a woman in the house, still needed some time to adapt. Except for Matt. He just embraced me immediately though, and I think because of that we became friends faster than I did with everyone else. We started hanging out outside of works a few weeks after I started at 51 but that was more by accident. In the middle of one shift, Matt was in the locker room when I came in. I didn't mean to startle him, but I did. He'd been spending a lot of time at his bunk reading some books somewhat secretly for the past few shifts. They were always covered so no one could see what they were, and anytime someone would ask about it, he would dodge the question. When I came into the locker room, he was getting the books out of his locker, and he wound up dropping them. I went to help him pick them up and managed to get a look at them before he could hide them from me. He was studying for the lieutenant's exam and for some reason, he didn't want anyone to know. We wound up talking about it for a while after I saw the books, and then I wound up helping him study for the exam. I don't know if his girlfriend knew about the test, but she was in medical school and wouldn't have had time to help if she did so since he didn't want anyone else to know, when he wanted someone to study with, I was the only one he could go to. It helped us bond and was actually really fun, which surprised me because I always hated studying for tests as a kid. Maybe it was just spending time with Matt that made it fun."_

 _They skipped ahead in time a bit to discuss how she and Matt first got together before changing topics again._

" _So now that we've addressed the evolution of your relationship, what do you love about him and what drives you crazy?" Jessica asked._

" _Matt's amazing. He's one of the best men I've ever known," Gabby broke into a huge smile. "He has such a big heart. He's caring and the type of guy who's always going to do the right thing. He's a great leader, and he's brave. Most people would never have the guts to run into a burning building, but being a firefighter is all he's ever wanted to do. He makes me laugh, and he always knows what to say to make me feel better. Even when he hasn't agreed with a decision I've made, he's always supported me and been on my side. Well he hasn't done some of those things since we started having problems. Actually, I think that's a big part of why we're having problems. I get that as my lieutenant he can't stand by me when I don't follow orders, but to just shut me down at home. He was always there for me even when he didn't agree with me, and then suddenly he wasn't. It's not like I was expecting him to suddenly be okay with things just because we were at home. I just wanted to know that my fiancée cared about how something affected me as a person. That's Matt's problem. Communication is not his strong suit, and he doesn't like talking about his feelings so he'll bottle things up until he can't hold it in anymore. He'll keep things from me if he thinks I'm better off not knowing or maybe that's just an excuse. Last year he got hurt on the job and almost died. Some of the side effects of the injury lasted months, but he hid it from me. Supposedly that was because he didn't want to worry me or distract me while I was going through the academy, but I think a lot of it was his pride. He doesn't always listen, and sometimes when he gets an idea in his head, he holds onto it and doesn't want hear an explanation or be reasoned with. Still, the good far outweighs the bad. I look at everything he's been through and who he is today, and it just amazes me. I can't imagine ever not loving him."_

" _I want to thank you for sharing all of that with me," Jessica said once Gabby was finished. "It's sometimes hard for people to open up, especially during the first session, but you did great. Is there anything else you want to discuss with me before I meet with Matt?"_

" _There is one thing. Since Matt and I started having problems, the physical side of our relationship has pretty much died. It's not just the sex. With the exception of one night, Matt will barely touch me. It's gotten to the point where when I try to start something, he just comes out and rejects me. I have no idea if it's because he's still mad at me or if he's not really attracted to me anymore or if something I haven't even thought of is causing it. I want to talk to him about it. I think I need to talk to him about it. I just don't know how, and I'm worried I'm going to make things worse," Gabby said._

" _Would you like to have the conversation with Matt here?" Jessica asked. "I can help talk you through it if it's during a session."_

" _Sure." Gabby answered._

" _Okay. I'll put it on the agenda for your next session," Jessica informed her. "If something changes between now and then, just let me know."_

 _Gabby nodded. She had been hoping they would get to talk about it today but didn't want to mention that to Jessica in case she came off as sex-crazed. She wasn't, but she missed Matt's touch and the way it made her feel._

* * *

" _You know talking about the day we met in there, left me wanting your butternut squash soup. Would you mind making it for dinner?" Matt asked Gabby as they walked out to the car after their session with Jessica was over._

" _You remember that's what I made that day? I knew you liked it, but I didn't realize it had made that much of an impression on you," Gabby said._

" _I remember everything about that day, and trust me, the soup wasn't the only thing I thought was great," his words made her blush. "You know she asked me what I felt for you back then, and it made me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't fought my feelings for you and learned to live with them without even realizing what they really were."_

" _You mean if we'd gotten together back then?" she asked._

" _Yeah," Matt said. "If I'm being honest with myself, you're not the only one who started falling in love that day, and now that I know we both did, I keep thinking that maybe we could have been together all this time."_

" _I'm sure that if we had, we would have built a great life together just like we've been doing for the past year," Gabby told him. "We'd probably be happily married by now, and maybe we would have already had our first child."_

" _We'll get there even if it is later than it could have been," Matt smiled at Gabby as he pulled her towards him and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I love you."_

" _I love you too," Gabby returned his smile as they continued to walk like that, only separating when they reached Matt's truck._


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: As always, thank you to my reviewers and those who have favorited and followed this story since my last update. Your support continues to mean a lot and help motivate to write.

To be honest, I'm not really thrilled with how this chapter came out. It feels awkward and forced to me in places, but the more I tried to make it better, the worse I thought it got so I eventually gave up. The middle part of the chapter is something I always envisioned happening, but I really struggled to write it so I think its actually the worst part of this story so far. Then the dreamworld part is something I didn't really want to write but thought I needed to (I'll explain that more once you've read it). I hope none of this detracts to much from the overall story. If it does, I'm really sorry. I've already started writing chapter 9, and I promise it will be better.

Here's chapter eight. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter 8

"It appears that Gabriella has fallen into a coma," Dr. Sanders informed Matt, Gabby's family, and the majority of 51.

"No," Gabby's mom gasped while the rest of the waiting room stood in silence, digesting the bad news they had just been given.

Coma. Matt froze at the word, his heart sinking a little further. Two days ago, they were saying that Gabby would wake up soon. Now that was out the window, and they couldn't really tell him when he'd get to see her beautiful brown eyes again. Going from there to here, he felt like they were practically admitting that they didn't know what was going on with Gabby.

"What happened?" Matt asked accusingly.

"What do you mean?" Dr. Sanders wasn't sure where Matt was coming from.

"What happened? You told us she would be awake by now. She's not, and now you're saying she's in a coma. Why? Did you miss something that caused this?" Matt desperately needed someone other than himself to blame for this.

"Matt, this isn't their fault," Antonio said. He wasn't happy with the situation either but didn't see any benefit in attacking the doctors.

"It's okay. I know this isn't the news any of you wanted to hear," Dr. Sanders told Antonio before turning his attention towards Matt. "As for what caused the coma, there's no way to know for certain. It could be one of many things. The good news is we've been able to rule out causes such as brain bleeds or swelling, and despite being in a coma, Gabriella does appear to have a healthy amount of brain activity. The seizure she had yesterday is a likely trigger, but it's also possible that this is just her body's way of focusing on healing."

"What can you do to bring her out of it?" at the moment, Matt wanted nothing more than for Gabby to wake up.

"Unfortunately, since she fell into the coma on her own, we're going to have to wait it out. There's nothing we can do that would bring her out of it," Dr. Sanders explained, earning another glare from Matt. "The good news is that based on where she's registering on the Glasgow Coma Scale, she has a good chance of waking up without the coma causing any significant long-term damage. Although with coma patients, nothing is guaranteed. In the meanwhile, we'll continue to monitor her and treat her other injuries."

"How long should it take her to wake up now?" Gabby's father finally spoke.

"It's impossible to know for certain. Most comas don't last longer than four weeks, but that doesn't mean anything when it comes to individual cases. It's possible she could wake up tomorrow. It's possible she could wake up weeks or months from now, but while we think it's unlikely, it is also possible that she could never wake up," the doctor answered. "I'm sorry. I wish I had better news."

"Thank you," Gabby's mother mumbled.

"If there's anything I can do for you, please let me or a nurse know," Dr. Sanders explained. "They're getting her settled back in her room now. A nurse will be out to let you know when you can go back in."

Devastated Matt just sunk into the nearest chair. From where he sat, he could hear what was going on near the admin desk.

"I'm looking for information on a woman who was in a car accident a couple of nights ago. I believe her name is Gabriella Dawson," a female voice Matt didn't recognize said.

"I'm sorry, but I can only give information to family," a male voice replied.

"I know, but they told me downstairs that her family was up here. I was hoping to speak to them," the female voice said.

Upon hearing those words, Matt got up and headed into the hall. Severide hadn't heard anything but curious and worried about his friend, he followed Matt.

"Who are you?" Matt asked the woman.

"Excuse me?" she replied.

"You were asking about my fiancée," Matt once again gave himself the title he'd unconsciously reclaimed for himself the day of the accident even if it wasn't official. "I have a right to know who you are."

"You're Gabriella Dawson's fiancée," the woman nodded in understanding. "How is she?"

"I've never seen you before so who are you and why do you want to know?" Matt was getting impatient. He didn't understand why this woman wouldn't answer a simple question.

"My name is Lisa Devers," the woman finally started to explain. "My daughter Chloe and her boyfriend Ryan were in the other car. Chloe wasn't the one driving. She was just a passenger. She's a good kid. Yeah she doesn't always make the best decisions and gets into trouble sometimes, but she's only fifteen. She's a good kid, and she wouldn't have gotten in that car if she knew someone would get hurt."

"How dare you," Matt growled angrily. His yell bringing Gabby's family and various members of 51 into the hall while Severide moved to restrain him. It wasn't that Severide thought Matt would lay a hand on the woman, and it certainly wasn't something the man was capable of under normal circumstances. These weren't normal circumstances though. Matt was an emotional wreck before they'd gotten the news about Dawson. Now he was clearly mad at the world, and Severide worried that made the man unpredictable and volatile.

"You have no right to come in here and try to justify what happened," Matt continued.

"I'm not," Lisa tried to defend herself. "I just want to know how she is."

"What makes you think you get to know how she's doing?" Matt didn't stop for an answer to the rhetorical question. "Maybe if you'd been a better parent and taught your kid some responsibility, Gabby wouldn't be fighting for her life right now."

"Casey, calm down," Severide said as he continued to hold onto the man.

"What's going on out here?" Gabby's father finally asked.

"This woman's daughter is the reason Gabby's in here. She thinks it's okay for her to come here and what rub in our faces the fact that her daughter is fine while Gabby's in a –," Matt couldn't bring himself to actually say the word.

"I don't know what I did to give you that impression, but I'm not trying to rub your faces in anything," Lisa told him.

"You're here, aren't you? Showing us that you don't need to sit by your daughter's bedside hoping that she'll come back to you okay when that's all we can do," Matt's voice was filled with bitterness.

"Enough," Gabby's mother burst in. "None of this is helping my baby."

At that moment, one of Gabby's nurses emerged from the ICU doors. Recognizing the woman, Matt, Antonio, and Gabby's parents all turned their attention to her.

"I came to let you know that Gabriella is back in her room, and you can go back and see her whenever you're ready," the nurse informed them.

"Matt, why don't you in and see her. We'll handle this and then be in," Gabby's mother said in a tone that left no room for argument.

Matt gave Lisa one last glare before disappearing behind the ICU doors.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I'll go," Lisa told the crowd.

"Why did you come?" Antonio wanted to know. He had some idea based on his years as a cop. People tended to visit those who had been hurt either by themselves or someone they loved for at least one of four reasons; they were generally concerned and wanted to try to make things right, they were looking to ease their guilt by hopefully seeing that those who had been hurt were okay, they were looking for mercy from the family and courts, or they had sociopathic tendencies and wanted to see the damage they had done. Antonio was pretty sure it was one of the first three, but he had no idea which ones.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened. I told him that Chloe's a good kid and that she never would have intentionally hurt someone. You should know that as well," Lisa said.

Well, Antonio though, he could definitely check off reason number 3.

"I also wanted to see how Ms. Dawson was doing and see if there was anything I could do to help. I feel terrible about what happened," Lisa continued.

If she was being sincere, then Antonio could check off number one as well, and if she wasn't, he could check off number two.

"She has some pretty serious physical injuries, and we just found she's in a coma," Gabby's mother said sadly. "Matt's not taking it well. I'm sure that's why he was acting like that."

"I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Lisa asked.

"Just pray for her," Gabby's mother answered.

"I will. Again I'm so sorry about all of this. Thank you for speaking to me," Lisa said before turning and starting to walk away. She didn't get very far before Gabby's father called after her.

"Thank you for coming," he said, prompting her to stop. There was one other thing she had really wanted to ask. The people who were still out here had been nice to her, especially considering the circumstances. Maybe it would be okay to ask for a favor.

"There is one other thing, and I completely understand if you say no," Lisa turned around. "I wasn't going to say anything given how angry her fiancée was, but I think it might allow at least something good to come out of this. My daughter, she's only fifteen. She doesn't understand that her actions have consequences and that she's not the only one whose impacted by the choices she makes. I know it's a lot to ask, and as I said, I understand if you say no. In your place, I don't know if I would be able to say yes, but I need to ask. Would it be okay if I brought Chloe here? Can she see your daughter? I think seeing what exactly she's done would be a wakeup call for her. That it might be something that could help her grow up."

"My sister is not some lesson for you to teach your kid. She's a human being fighting for her life," it was now Antonio's turn to get mad. It was probably a good thing Matt wasn't here anymore. Given how angry he'd been earlier, this request likely would have sent him completely over the edge.

"Give us some time to think about it," Gabby's mother said. She doubted she would ultimately say yes, but she couldn't bring herself to say no to this woman's face. As a mother she understood where this woman was coming from. Lisa simply wanted what was best for her daughter just she like she wanted what was best for her children.

* * *

 _Gabby grabbed another round of beers for the bachelor party that was taking up the far side of the bar at Molly's. They had been here all night, and this was their fourth round of beers after several rounds of shots. Suffice to say they were pretty drunk._

" _Thanks hot stuff," one of the guys said as he winked at her. His hand rubbed against hers as he reached for one the beers that she was in the process of putting down. Gabby was pretty sure it was intentional. He had been hitting on her all night, and no matter how many times she flashed her engagement ring in his face, he didn't seem to get the message. Earlier on she had been tempted to ask why they were having a bachelor party on a Wednesday night as it seemed a bit odd but had decided against it, not wanting to encourage him._

" _Hey Hermann, I'm going in back to get some more glasses," she called as she walked out from behind the bar. The two of them were working tonight. It was turning out to be a typical weekday night with customers mulling in and out. Not overly crowded but not really empty either. Aside from the bachelor party there had been a little over a dozen regulars on and off throughout the night along with a fair amount of other customers. Antonio and some other members of the Intelligence Unit had been here earlier, but they'd left over an hour ago. Really the only people missing were 51. They had shift in the morning so while Shay had stopped by for about half an hour early in the evening, pretty much everyone else, including Matt, hadn't come out. That was unusual. Not most of 51 not being there the night before shift, but Matt not stopping by. Even when they were on shift the next day, if she was working, Matt was almost always here for at least part of the evening, and then if he hadn't stayed through closing he would be waiting up for her when she got home. He'd been doing those things a lot less since they started having problems, probably either trying to avoid her or the possibility of another argument. Still the past couple of weeks had been better. She's hoped it meant he would start coming back, but so far he hadn't._

 _Gabby was pulled from her thoughts when she felt herself being pushed into the wall and a hand snake over her mouth._

" _Hey hot stuff. Miss me?" her attacker said, revealing himself to be the creepy guy from the bachelor party._

" _Get off me," she tried to say, but it just came off as muddled noises into his hand. She tried to push him off of her, but her body was pinned against the wall, making it difficult for her to move._

 _Then his free hand moved under the bottom of her shirt. He ran his fingers up her side, stopping at the base of her bra. He forced his hand under her bra, and began massaging the side of her breast._

" _You like?" he asked._

 _Gabby just shook her head, trying to indicate no as she continued to struggle against him. At that moment, one of her arms broke free. She moved to pull his hand out from under her shirt, feeling her bra tear as he tried to hold onto it. Her action must have startled him as his grip on her body loosened, letting one of her legs free. She lifted the leg, slamming her high heel into his foot._

" _Shit," he screamed. "I think you just broke a few my toes."_

 _His grip on her loosened again, and she was now able to spin around. She managed to push him of her and to the ground just as Hermann walked in._

" _Don't you ever try something like that again," she barked at the creep._

" _What's going on in here? You okay Gabby?" Hermann asked._

" _I could sue you for my foot," the creep said._

" _I suppose you could but you probably won't even remember how you hurt it in the morning, and even if you do, I was just defending myself so you'd lose. Now you and your friends are going to get out of here before I call my brother. He's a detective with the CPD," Gabby retorted before turning her attention to Hermann. "I'm okay. This guy and his friends were just leaving. Can you cash them out?"_

" _Sure. Let's go," Hermann said roughly pulled the creep up from the ground. He gave Gabby a look that told her to take her time before coming back out before shoving the creep out the door and back into the bar area._

 _Gabby spent a few minutes leaning against a different spot on the wall from the one she'd been thrown against, trying to gain her composure and stop shaking. When she thought she was ready, she peaked out the door to make sure the bachelor party was gone before grabbing the glasses she'd originally come in for and heading back to the bar. As she placed the glasses down, Hermann motioned for her to join him in a corner._

" _I charged them a little extra for you," Hermann told her. "What exactly happened in there? When I came in, you were pushing him to the ground, but it looked like he'd been on you."_

" _Nothing," she tried to say, but the look on Hermann's face told her he didn't believe it. "Okay fine. He decided to try to get a little physical, but he didn't know who he was a dealing with. He came out of it far worse than I did."_

" _You sure you're okay?" Hermann asked._

" _Yes," Gabby tried to reassure him._

" _Okay kid," Hermann sighed. "Why don't you head home and get some rest. It's slowing down here. I can handle closing."_

" _You sure? I don't mind staying," Gabby just wanted to pretend that nothing had happened earlier. Maybe then she could stop thinking about it and what might have happened had she not been able to get him off of her or had Hermann not come in._

" _Go," Hermann told her. "Get a good night's sleep and make sure you're well rested. You're going to need it when we start running drills tomorrow."_

" _Yes sir," Gabby said before going and getting her things._

 _When she got home, all the lights were off. Making her way into the bedroom, she noticed that Matt was already sound asleep. She really wished he was still awake not just because she thought him waiting up for her would be a sign that they were really getting back on track, but also because despite what she had told Hermann, she wasn't really okay. She needed Matt right now. He would be able to comfort her because he always made her feel safe. Still she thought she was better off just letting him sleep._

 _So instead of waking him, she grabbed a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt form her dresser before heading into the bathroom to get ready for bed. As she got changed, she noticed a bruise had begun to form on the front of her left shoulder from when she'd made contact with the wall and some scratches near her right breast probably from when the creep fought her as she tried to remove his hand from her chest. She would need to make sure to change in the bathrooms or showers when she got to shift in the morning to avoid any questions. Maybe Matt would let her change in his office. She'd talk to him about it in the morning._

* * *

Author's Note: So yeah. The dreamworld part was totally not fun to write, and I realize that it probably seems a little strange that Gabby would be fantasizing about it and having something like that happen in her ideal world. The thing is its actually setting up somethings that are going to happen in the next chapter, and while I kept trying to find some better way to get there, I couldn't think of anything else so I decided to just go with it. I apologize if it made anyone feel uncomfortable.

As always, please review. Your feedback is a big help.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Thank you everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed this story after Chapter 8. Your support continues to motivate me.

I especially want to thank coconut for your kind words after the last chapter. I never expected such high praise, and reading what you had to say meant so much to me.

I have to admit that this next chapter is my favorite so far. Hopefully, I'm not setting the bar too high by saying this, but I really enjoyed writing this and hope you enjoy reading it just as much. As always, please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Nine

 _It was a quite morning so far at Firehouse 51. Gabby wound up changing in the showers because she hadn't told Matt what had happened at Molly's the night before. Now she was chatting with Shay and looking through the fridge trying to figure out what on earth she could make for breakfast since they were apparently out of eggs._

" _Maybe I should just ask if I can go to the store. Thing is what if it looks like I'm trying to get special treatment or like I am getting special treatment? Then again short of dry toast and bacon, there's literally nothing I can do for breakfast based on what's in this fridge," Gabby muttered._

" _How is going grocery shopping for the house special treatment?" Shay asked._

" _I'd be leaving on my own," Gabby answered._

" _The issues you guys are having are making you paranoid. There is nothing special about the candidate making sure she can make us breakfast, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll grab Brett, and we'll the take the ambo to go pick up some supplies. Just make a list of what you need," Shay offered._

 _Maybe she was being paranoid, but she knew Matt had already let her leave shift once because of their personal relationship. Sure it was after they'd brought their personal baggage into the firehouse and had a huge argument about it, and these were completely different circumstances. The memory still made her hesitant about asking though._

" _Dawson," Matt's voice sounded angry as he approached the kitchen area. "My office now."_

 _He didn't stick around for her to walk with him. Instead he just turned around and headed back out of the common room._

" _Oh great. What could I have possibly done now? We haven't even had a call yet," Gabby muttered. She was so confused._

" _Maybe he just wants some alone time with you and figured acting like he was angry with you would make it seem like everything was on the up and up for the guys," Shay smirked at her._

" _Not if how he acts at home means anything," Gabby mumbled under her breathe as she shut the refrigerator door and turned to head towards Matt's office._

" _Shay get lots of eggs and a few bags of frozen peppers. Maybe some spinach or mushrooms too," she called as she walked out of the common room._

" _Close the door," Matt said as soon as she entered his office._

 _She did so and then turned to face him. Looking at him, she noticed not just anger in his eyes but concern as well. He looked like he was examining her too._

" _What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" Gabby asked after a minute or so of standing there._

" _Are you okay?" he asked her._

" _Yeah," she told him. Where was this coming from?_

" _Because I just had an interesting conversation with Hermann," he said._

 _Shit. Hermann must have told Matt what happened last night._

" _And he asked me if you were still shaken up after what happened, and I had no idea what he was talking about," Matt continued._

" _It's not going to affect my ability to do my job if that's what you're worried about Lieutenant," she tried to deflect, not really wanting to talk about what had happened._

" _Gabby," her words only seemed to make him angrier. "You can't actually think that's what this is about."_

" _What exactly did he tell you?" Gabby said quietly. Realizing that regardless of where they were he was going to insist on talking to her about this as her fiancée, she tried to figure out how big of a hole she had dug for herself this morning._

" _Not much. Just that you seemed pretty shaken up when he sent you home even though you were trying to hide it and that he was sorry he hadn't gotten there earlier. You were already pushing the guy off of you when he walked in. I just —," Matt answered and then paused for a moment as he rubbed his hand over his face._

" _I just don't understand why you wouldn't tell me. Why you would keep this from me. I mean we're supposed to be talking about things so we can get back on track. You were the one who insisted we go to therapy because we weren't talking, and now you're keeping things from me," he continued. "Do you have any idea what it felt like to find out from Hermann that someone tried to hurt you?"_

 _Gabby moved towards Matt's bed and took a seat. She motioned for him to join her, and when he did, she took his hands in hers before speaking._

" _Matt, I wasn't trying to keep this from you. Not telling you wasn't about us," she said. "When I got home last night, I had every intention of telling you, but you had this smile on your face as you slept. You looked so peaceful. I didn't want to ruin that and that's what would have happened had I woke you up and told you so I just let you sleep figuring I'd tell you in the morning. Then this morning when I woke up, I decided that I couldn't let it be a big deal. Telling you would have meant that it was a big deal. I'm not trying to hurt you. I just needed to try to forget that it happened."_

 _Gabby took her hand from Matt's to wipe a tear from her eye before it had a chance to fall. She had to try to control herself and not let what happened affect her. She needed Molly's to still just be Molly's. It was her bar and where she hung out with her friends after all._

" _Did it work?" Matt's tone softened._

" _I don't know yet. I haven't really had time to just think," Gabby told him. "You want to know what happened, don't you?"_

" _Yeah," he nodded. "But only if you're comfortable talking about it. You may not want this to be a big deal, but I know you. It is a big deal to you, and you're still shaken up. I don't want you to do anything that's going to make it worse."_

" _This may sound strange since I chose not to tell you anything this morning, but I think I want to tell you. Maybe it'll help. Okay, here it goes," she took a deep breath before continuing._

" _It started off as a normal weeknight at Molly's. There was a bachelor party there which seemed a little strange for the middle of the week, but other than that it was what you'd expect, what we've seen a thousand times. I was mostly working the bar, and that's where the bachelor party was camped out. One of the guys from the bachelor party kept hitting on me, but it's not like it's the first time that's happened so I didn't really think much of it. I kept trying to flash my ring and subtly hint that I wasn't interested and he was wasting his time, but he didn't seem to get the message. Again that's not the first time some random customer wouldn't take a hint and stop flirting with me so while I was getting a little creeped out by his persistence, I didn't think it was anything to worry about," Gabby felt Matt tense as she spoke. She got the sense that while he'd probably suspected the attack had been sexual in nature, it still was hard for him as his mind put the pieces together and he realized that was definitely where this was going._

" _After they'd been there for about three hours and were pretty drunk, I went to the back room to get some more glasses. I'd been there for about a minute when he came up to me from behind. He threw me into the wall and pinned me there. I knew it was the same guy from the bachelor party because he'd been calling me hot stuff all night, and he said it then too. He covered my mouth so I couldn't scream and started groping my breasts. I didn't want him to touch me Matt. I swear," she was crying now._

" _I know," Matt told her as he pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head, in an attempt to comfort her. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Gabby regained enough composure to continue._

" _I eventually managed to break free enough to try to get him off me. He kept trying to hold on though and actually ripped my bra," Gaby had shifted slightly in Matt's embrace so she could look him in the eye. "I did get free though, and honestly, if Hermann hadn't walked in, I'm not sure I wouldn't have stopped after stomping on his foot and shoving him to the ground to get him off me."_

" _Did he hurt you?" Matt asked._

" _There's a bruise where I hit the wall and some scratches, but that's it. The worst part is though that I don't know how far he would have gone if I hadn't been able to get him off me or Hermann hadn't come into the room. Did he just want to play touchy-feely or would he have—," her voice trailed off. She didn't want to think about what the creep might have had in mind._

" _I should have been there. If I had been, maybe he wouldn't have gone after you like that. I'm so sorry," he said._

" _Don't think like that. You can't just assume that you being there would have changed anything," it was now her turn to try to reassure him._

" _Yeah, but maybe knowing your fiancée was there instead of just seeing an engagement ring would have gotten him to back off. Had I been there and he'd still done that to you, there's no way I wouldn't have gone after him, and if he'd had half a brain, he would have been able to figure that out. I would have had my eye on him all night so I would have seen him following you and could have stopped him," Matt said._

" _I'm fine. That's what matters," Gabby told him. Maybe she wasn't quite there yet, but she knew she would be._

 _At that moment the bells went off calling them to a structure fire._

" _You going to be okay out there?" Matt asked._

" _Yeah," she replied._

" _Just promise me that if your mind starts going back to last night, you'll let me know," he said clearly worried about her._

" _Promise," she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before letting it go so they could walk out of his office._

* * *

" _So what had Casey so angry?" Shay asked as Gabby pulled some clothes out of the washing machine and threw them in the dryer._

 _It was now the middle of the afternoon, but this was the first chance the two ladies had to talk since Matt called Gabby into his office that morning. While Truck 81 had a quiet morning after the structure fire, not yet getting their second call of the shift, Ambulance 61 had been extremely busy, rarely even making it back to the house before the next call came in._

" _It was personal," Gabby told her friend._

" _So was I right? Did he just want to jump your bones?" Shay teased._

" _Not even close," Gabby laughed before getting serious. "Something happened at Molly's last night, and before you ask, I don't want to talk about it. Telling Matt was hard enough. I just want to try to forget. He was pissed because of what happened and because I didn't tell him; Hermann did. We talked and while I don't think he's thrilled I was going to keep this from him, especially given all our problems, I think he at least understands why I wanted to."_

" _You guys doing better though? Therapy helping?" Shay inquired._

" _Quiet," Gabby told her. "You know you need to keep your mouth shut about this. Matt doesn't want the fact that we're struggling with things getting around the house. I think he's worried that people are going to question whether our issues are going to impact our ability to work together or the dynamic on truck. Boden already went out on a limb letting me on 81, and neither of us want to let him down. I suppose he has a right to be worried about it though. The worst fight we ever had happened about twenty feet from here a few weeks ago."_

" _Sorry," Shay muttered._

" _We've only had one therapy session, and we were barely both in with her at the same time so it's probably too soon to tell. I like our therapist though. She's friendly and easy to talk to so that's at least a good thing I think," Gabby whispered. While she was pretty sure no one was in the locker room or the bunkroom, she knew Matt was in his office, and she didn't want him to hear what she had to say next. At least not until she could figure out how to tell him herself._

" _As for us, I think we're doing better, but I don't really know. I'm really trying, but Matt keeps sending me mixed signals. He's certainly trying to open up to me a little more, and he's more willing to talk to me about things. I mean it's not perfect but its better. There are moments, like once he'd calmed down this morning, where it seems so obvious that he loves me and cares about me and wants us to get past all of this, but at the same time, it constantly seems like he's not actually attracted to me anymore at least not physically. Can he really want to spend his life with someone he doesn't seem to have any interest in touching? When I think about the future I want with him, celibacy is definitely not part of the picture," Gabby confided in her friend._

" _Seriously? The way you two used to always go at it?" Shay joked._

" _I'm serious Shay," Gabby said. "He doesn't know it, but we're supposed to talk about this when we go to therapy tomorrow. I wasn't sure how to ask him what's going on so I mentioned it to Jessica, she's the therapist, when we had our first session last week."_

" _Well, if it helps, I've definitely caught him staring at you during shift when he thinks no one's looking," Shay told her._

" _We need to change the topic," Gabby said suddenly as she noticed Brett walking towards them._

" _So we need to plan another girls' night. It's been way too long," Shay said. "I'm working Molly's tomorrow, and we probably don't want Saturday with shift on Sunday. What about some night next week?"_

" _I can probably do Monday. Hey Brett, do you want to join us?" Gabby asked as the young paramedic reached them._

" _What?" Brett clearly wasn't expecting an invite from them._

" _Shay and I do a girls' night about once a month. Either we go out or we kick Casey or Severide out of one of our places and just hang out. Drink some wine, order takeout, watch movies. That sort of thing. It's a nice break when every few days you spend 24 hours surrounded by all this testosterone. We did dinner and dancing last time so we'll probably stay in this time. You should join us," Gabby explained._

" _I don't know. I'll have to think about it," Brett seemed reluctant, surprising Gabby._

" _Anyways, I came to see when you wanted to start inventory," Brett informed Shay._

" _Why don't you head out to the ambo? I'll be there in a few minutes," Shay told her partner._

" _Okay," Brett said before turning and walking away._

" _What? You don't want to hang with just me anymore?" Shay pretended to be offended once Brett was out of sight._

" _I was just thinking it might be nice for her to spend time with us. I'm not really sure if she's made any female friends since moving here. She obviously has Cruz and hangs out with the guys at Molly's, but has she made other friends? Besides you were complaining a few weeks ago about not having developed a friendship with her when she's your partner. She's been here practically six months, and she's surprised that I'd invite her to do something with us. We've always been more welcoming than that," Gabby explained._

 _Truth was that while Brett was never going to take Shay's place and despite Gabby's initial reluctance to get close to a woman who was only there because her best friend was dead, Gabby had enjoyed the friendship she had ultimately developed with Brett in the world she had come from. Here it seemed that she and Shay had been so determined to not let no longer being partners interfere with their friendship, that they'd never given Brett a chance. Instead they'd left the woman to navigate things on her own and missed out on getting to know a great person. Gabby felt horrible about it and was determined to remedy the situation._

" _You're right. It's weird though. It's always been you and me," Shay said._

" _You're always going to my best friend Shay. Nothing could or will ever change that. Why don't I head out to the ambo with you? We can hang out while you guys do inventory and try to convince Brett to do girls' night with us," Gabby said as she turned the dryer on._

" _You're just glad you don't have to do it anymore," Shay laughed._

" _Of course," Gabby smiled. "I actually prefer cleaning everything."_

* * *

 _Gabby had found herself tossing and turning for several hours while most of the firehouse slept. She felt bad because she'd been secretly hoping for a call, needing something to distract her from her inability to sleep. Eventually she'd given up and made her way to the common room. Now she was flipping back and forth between HGTV and the Food Network, channels that were not normally on at the firehouse, but she was the only one awake and there wasn't much to watch at 1 AM._

" _Hey," Matt walked into the room pulling her away from a woman complaining about some wallpaper on House Hunters._

" _What are you doing up?" she was surprised to see him._

" _Had to go to the bathroom, and when I left my office, I noticed you weren't in your bunk. Wanted to make sure you were okay," he said as he sat down next to her._

" _You know a girl could be a little disturbed by the way you like to watch me sleep," she teased, trying to deflect Matt's concerns._

" _You have looked in the mirror, haven't you?" he asked rhetorically. "Seriously though, everything okay?"_

" _Couldn't sleep," she admitted._

" _This about what happened last night?" Matt asked, his voice laced with concern._

" _Partially. I close my eyes, and I'm back there only I can't get him off of me and Hermann doesn't come in. Then I try not to think about it and just like last week, I'm freaking out about going to therapy," Gabby answered. Although she left out the fact that what had her freaked out about therapy was what his answer would be when she asked why he didn't seem to want to even kiss her, let alone make love to her._

" _There's no reason to worry about therapy," Matt reassured her. "Our first session went fine."_

" _But we were barely in there together, and we didn't exactly start addressing our problems," Gabby cut him off._

" _And everything I talked about in there came back to how much I love you and how I will do anything to make sure we get through this together. I may not have wanted to go to therapy, but now that we're doing it, I promise you, we're going to come out stronger and in one piece," he said._

 _Gabby just nodded. He really was amazing. Despite how much she knew he hated the idea of therapy, he knew exactly what to say to make her feel good about._

" _As for what happened last night, I wish I could go back and stop it from happening or at least make it better for you," Matt continued. "What I do know though is that Hermann did come in and you were able to get him off of you and I am so proud of you. You're safe and at the firehouse surrounded by people who care about you and who'll gladly protect you. Not that you need them to. You can definitely take care of yourself. I know I wasn't there last night, and I am so sorry for that, but I promise you as long as I have any say in the matter or any control over a situation, I will never let anyone hurt you or anything bad happen to you."_

 _Gabby wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck, prompting Matt to reciprocate the hug._

" _You are making it better Matt," she mumbled into him. "I love you."_

" _I love you too," he told her. "Do you think being with me in my office would help you sleep?"_

" _You sure that's okay, lieutenant?" she knew they were supposed to be keeping some space between them at work and not cross the line from professional to personal. Although she supposed that's what they'd been doing all day. Still, a lieutenant offering to share his bed with a candidate during shift was definitely not business as usual._

" _Gabby, right now the only thing I really care about is you," Matt answered._

" _Well, if you're sure, then I think it's worth a try," Gabby smiled at him._

 _Matt lifted her up and together, they walked hand in hand to his office. It helped too. With Matt's arms around her, the nightmares she'd been fearing didn't come. Gabby was able get a couple hours of restful sleep before the bells went off, signaling a call, a little before 4 AM._

 _As she and Matt left his office, her eyes caught Shay's. The woman giving her a smirk upon noticing them together. Gabby just shook her head no, trying to indicate that nothing had happened between the couple. Shay's expression didn't change though as she mouthed "details" to Gabby. Normally Gabby would have been annoyed, but even though it had already been a few weeks, she was just so grateful to have her best friend back that she didn't really care._

* * *

As soon as Matt entered Gabby's room, the anger he had been feeling vanished. In its place was both a sense of deep sadness and a sense of deep love. Before sitting down in his chair, he repeated what had become his ritual for when he got to Gabby's bedside. He kissed her cheek and stoked her hair, and as he sat down, he took her hand in his, kissing it before speaking.

"Hey Gabby. I know you're disappointed in what I did out there, and I'm sorry. I can't help it though. You're in here. You were hurt so badly, and now you're in a coma, and there's nothing I can do about it. You know I don't like feeling helpless, and knowing that all I can do is sit here and wait is killing me. I know you, and I know you're not going to give up on life. I know you're fighting as hard as you can to come back to us. It doesn't make any of this any easier though, and I can't help being angry because you don't deserve this. You shouldn't be here. You should be at home getting some sleep after shift. Preferably in our room at home with me, but even if it was in your room at Brett's that would be okay. As much as I hate the fact that you're living there, at least it would be better than this. I can't help being mad about this whole situation. I'm mad at that woman for showing up and reminding me of how senseless this all is. I'm mad at those kids for doing this to you, for not caring and just leaving you to die. I hope they rot in jail for a long time. I'm mad at the doctors for not being able to help you. And I'm really mad at myself for all the ways I've screwed us up in the past few months. For listening to Severide and thinking–," Matt voice trailed off. He was unable to admit to Gabby what he had been doing the night of the accident, especially while she was lying there comatose and covered in bandages.

"For all the times over the past two months when I had the chance to tell you how much I still love you and didn't. For agreeing with you that we could just be lieutenant and candidate when all I want to do every time I see you is kiss you and beg you to come home. For ignoring the fact that the glimmer in your eyes that means you're truly happy has been missing and not fighting for you because you said this was what you wanted and needed. For pushing you away and for being angry with you.

"I'm not angry with you though. Not anymore. I haven't been for months. I was angry because of what you said to Mills and the fact that I didn't think you trusted me. Because you were being reckless and not taking things seriously. Because you didn't seem to realize or care how your actions could affect the people we work with and everyone who loves and cares about them and especially about you. I was terrified that the way you were acting was going to put you in danger when you didn't need to be. If you were willing to ignore orders and go off on your own at a hazmat situation, what would you do in a fire? If you had gotten hurt or worse under my command, I don't know if I would have been able to handle it. Part of my job as both your lieutenant and your fiancé was to keep you safe, and you were making it so difficult. I know that it's technically part of my job to do everything I can to make sure everyone on 81 makes it home to their loved ones. It was different with you though because I was the person you were going home to, the loved you would be leaving behind if something were to go wrong, and I felt like none of that mattered to you. That hurt and infuriated me.

"The thing is all of that stopped mattering the moment I lost you, and yeah it wasn't on a call or under my command, but you got hurt anyways, and it's killing me to see you like this so right here right now there are only two things in the world that matter to me: your life and how much I love you because I do. I love you so much Gabby. More than I ever knew it was possible to love someone so please baby, please come back to me soon. I need you."

While he was speaking, Matt once again began to cry. Normally he would have been embarrassed. He hated to cry. As far as he was concerned it made him weak and vulnerable. Under these circumstances though, the fact that he was being reduced to tears on a regular basis didn't seem so bad. Everything else was so much worse.

* * *

Author's Note: I want to warn you guys that the next chapter may be a little delayed. I'm contemplating trying my hand at a one shot based on Matt's thoughts during the last ten minutes or so of the finale (and maybe a little after because there's one thing I really want to see in the premiere that I doubt will happen so I kind of want to write it). I've had some ideas percolating in my head for the past couple of weeks that I can't seem to let go of so while I don't want to take my focus off of this, I'm beginning to think I need to try to put them down on paper. If I do go this route, I'm probably going to start writing it in the next couple of days, which means I'm not going to be able to focus as much on chapter ten in the near-term as I have with these past few chapters after an update.

That does it for me until next time. Please let me know what you thought of Chapter 9.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: First of all, I'm sorry for how long it's taken me to get this updates. I never imagined it would take more than a month for me to get Chapter 10 up. For those of you who recall the one shot I said I was contemplating at the end of the last chapter, I did write it except it became a two shot and wound up being almost 17,000 words before any author's notes so it took a look longer to write than I anticipated. It's called Where I Belong and was last updated on July 1st if anyone who hasn't read it would like to. I hope that between that story and this chapter, the wait for this story was worth it.

As always thank you to all my reviewers and those who followed and/or favorited this story after Chapter 9 (and Where I Belong).

Now onto Chapter 10. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter 10

"How are you doing Matt? Still mad?" Gabby's mother pulled Matt from his thoughts as she came into the room with Gabby's father and Antonio.

"I can't stay mad when I'm with her," Matt stroked Gabby's hair as he spoke, not taking his eyes off her.

"Good. Getting angry isn't going to do anything to help Gabriella," Gabby's mother said sternly as if she was lecturing him.

"I know," Matt admitted. "It's just hard to be okay with everything that's going on. Hearing what the doctor had to say earlier. I love her so much."

"No one's asking you to be okay with any of this. We're all upset, but we have to focus on Gabriella. Maybe that'll help her come back to us," Gabby's mother replied.

"Matt some sandwich platters were dropped off for lunch a few minutes ago if you want to get something to eat," Antonio interjected, seemingly uncomfortable with the awkward conversation between his mother and almost brother-in-law.

"Sure," Matt replied. He still didn't have much of an appetite, and from the moment he'd first walked into this room nearly two days ago, he had never really been comfortable with the thought of leaving it because it meant leaving Gabby's side. Still, he really didn't want to keep talking with Gabby's mother about his behavior earlier. He could probably eat a few bites and then be back in the room in a matter of minutes. Maybe that would be enough time for Gabby's mother to get off this topic.

"I'll be right back baby. I love you," Matt kissed Gabby's cheek as he got up and then headed towards the door.

As he was grabbing a turkey sandwich, Severide approached him.

"You okay?" Severide asked.

"What do you think?" Matt asked. Not Severide too. He didn't need another lecture about how he had acted earlier.

"Stupid question. Sorry," Severide told him. "Seriously though, I really am sorry about Dawson and how rough it's been and continues to be."

"Thanks," Matt said before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"You didn't mention that she had another seizure," Severide said. It was not really a question, just a statement that didn't really require any explanation.

"It was another bad thing that happened, and so many bad things have happened to Gabby over the past few days," Matt nonetheless felt the need to explain. Maybe it was because he was surprised that Severide even remembered that Gabby had had a previous seizure in the first place. It had been one of a litany of problems that Dr. Sanders had told them about when he first briefed them on Gabby's condition. Matt of course remembered every word and every awful detail along with how much worse the sinking feeling in his stomach got with each syllable, but he didn't really expect anyone else to except for probably Antonio.

"The doctor said it's too early to know if it means anything," he continued with a shaky voice. "The thing is I know exactly what it could mean, and I can't let myself go there. Gabby is going to have so much to deal with when she wakes up, and she doesn't deserve any of it. Adding something else to that list is just too much so I do everything I can to not think about it. It hurts too much. Everyone here keeps talking about how lucky she is to be alive, calling her miracle girl. I'm the one whose lucky because she's still alive. No one who got into that bad of a car accident should ever be considered lucky."

They sat there in silence for a couple minutes neither of them really sure what to say after that.

"Matt, there's something I think you should know, but I need you to promise me that you're going to stay calm and not get angry again," Severide broke the silence.

Matt tensed at Severide's words. After their conversation that morning, he wasn't sure what else the man could have to say and why it would come with that warning. Nonetheless, he managed to nod.

"After you went back into Dawson's room earlier, her parents and Antonio talked a little with the woman that had stopped by, the one's whose daughter was in the car that hit Dawson's. It started out fine. She apologized and asked how Dawson was, but then she did something that I think shocked everyone. She asked if she could bring her daughter to see Dawson. Seemed to think it would help her daughter grow up or something like that," Severide explained.

"There's no way Gabby's parents or Antonio would have said yes to that," Matt said as he tried to keep his anger at bay and his promise to Severide. That woman had gall, he's give her that. If he had any say in the matter, there was no way that girl was getting anywhere near Gabby. After all the damage she and her boyfriend had done, she didn't deserve to be in the same room as Gabby, to breathe the same air that Gabby should be breathing, the air that she would be breathing if she wasn't on that damn ventilator.

"They didn't," Severide tried to reassure Matt. Although he knew that what came next was going to do anything but help his friend. "Antonio got pissed, but Dawson's mom said she'd think about it. I barely know the woman so I have no idea if she was serious or not. Figured you should know so you can be prepared in case anything comes of it."

Matt threw his sandwich down on the empty seat next to his. He'd only taken two bites but none of that mattered at the moment. He got up, heading straight back to Gabby's room and her family.

"Matt," Severide called after to him to no avail. He'd go after him, but at this point, it was still just family allowed in Gabby's room.

"You can't seriously be considering letting that girl see Gabby," Matt said harshly but with significantly less anger than he'd felt earlier. He really was trying hard to keep it at bay, not wanting to have a major blow out with Gabby's parents at her bedside. "She has no right to see Gabby after what she did to her."

"I didn't say yes, and I'm probably not going to, but looking at that woman, I couldn't bring myself to say no," Gabby's mother explained. "Gabriella got into her fair share of trouble as a teenager. Nothing anywhere near as bad as this, but she was headstrong and had a temper and that wasn't always the best combination. If the situation were reversed, I would want someone to do the same for my daughter and me."

"If it means anything, I don't want her here," Matt said.

"I think we've figured that out," Gabby's father interjected.

"I don't really like it either, but let's wait until my parents figure out what they want to discuss this," Antonio said. "We all love Gabby and just want her to be okay. That's what matters the most. We're on the same side here so let's just focus on that. She wouldn't want us to be fighting."

"I can do that. Just promise me one thing," he said to Gabby's parents. "That if you're thinking about saying yes, you'll talk to me first and take my opinion into account."

"We will," Gabby's mother reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

"Good," Matt said, his body relaxing, as he moved towards his chair, needing to be able to touch Gabby.

* * *

" _I swear Shay nothing happened. He just held me. I couldn't sleep, and he was worried," Gabby said as the two women stood in a corner of the firehouse hallway. It was a little after 7:30, and they had all gotten back from their early morning call about fifteen minutes ago. With a little more than half an hour left in their shift at the time no one had seen any point in going back to sleep so they'd all just kind of moseyed about the house. Shay of course had decided to use the time as an opportunity to get the dirt on where she knew Gabby had been when the call came in._

" _If you say so," Shay smirked._

" _I mean it," Gabby lowered her voice to a whisper before continuing. "I told you earlier. Matt doesn't have any desire to get intimate with me."_

" _When I saw you coming out of his office, I really hoped that meant you two were turning a corner there," Shay said sympathetically._

" _Thanks for being here Shay. You have no idea how great it is to be able to talk to you about all of this," Gabby pulled her into a hug._

" _Always," Shay returned the hug._

" _Dawson, Shay," Hermann called, pulling them out of the moment as he came down the hall. "Can one of you handle the food shipment that's supposed to come into Molly's this morning for me? Kenny has a dentist appointment, but Cindy just called. Luke woke up with a fever and can't go to school so now Cindy needs me to take Kenny so she can stay home with Luke."_

" _Wish I could help, but Casey and I have plans," Gabby said, hoping that Hermann wouldn't ask questions about what they were doing. She wasn't really sure what she'd tell him if he did._

" _I can do it," Shay said, bringing a sense of relief to Gabby._

" _Thanks. I owe you," Hermann said._

" _I'll be sure to collect," Shay laughed._

" _What do you say we run one more drill before shift ends Dawson?" Hermann asked._

" _Am I being punished for not being able to cover for you?" she joked._

" _Of course not," Hermann told her. "Just need to make sure you're prepared for anything Dawson."_

" _Okay," Gabby sighed. "Talk to you later Shay."_

" _What happened the other night doesn't have anything to do with you not taking the shipment, does it?" Hermann asked._

" _I'm not scared of Molly's if that's what you're asking," Gabby told him. "We really do have plans."_

" _Anything good?" Hermann fished for details._

" _We're meeting someone. Can we get started please?" Gabby didn't need Hermann digging for more information. She couldn't tell him they were seeing a relationship counselor and was worried that lying would just create a tricky situation for her and Matt down the road._

 _Hermann had her running up and down a ladder for the next fifteen minutes while he timed her. Matt came out a few minutes after first watch rolled in._

" _There you are," he said as he approached her and Hermann. "I've been looking all over for you. Ready to go?"_

" _I hope so," Gabby laughed as she made it back to the ground. "Are we done Hermann?"_

" _Sure, shifts over, and I've gotta be getting home," he told her. "She's all yours Lieutenant."_

" _Thanks," Matt said as Hermann walked away. Turning his attention towards Gabby he continued. "We have some time before our appointment. Want to go to the diner down the street you like and grab breakfast? Been a while since we've done that after shift."_

" _Sure," Gabby tentatively smiled at him. She just hoped he was offering because he actually wanted to spend the time with her and not because after what happened the other day at Molly's he was worried about her and wanted to be nice._

 _They made their way back through the house and towards the locker room. Matt quickly changed, throwing his uniform into his bag and replacing it with his street clothes. Gabby however just stood there, staring at the clothes she held in her hands._

" _You okay Gabby?" Matt asked her after a minute._

" _Can I change in your office? I don't want to have to deal with any questions if someone were to see me without my shirt on," she replied quietly._

" _Of course," Matt told her. He picked both their bags up off the locker room floor and followed her to his office, taking a seat in the chair at his desk while Gabby laid her clothes out on his bed and slowly started to strip, wincing when she discovered that it hurt a little as she moved to take off her shirt and it pressed into her bruised shoulder._

" _Jeez Gabby," Matt said as he got his first look at her injuries from the attack._

" _What?" she asked confused. Then she noticed Matt's eyes glued to her shirtless torso as he moved towards her._

 _She hadn't actually looked at her body since getting ready for bed the other night. At that point the bruise was just starting to form. Now the front of her left shoulder was covered in a big ugly deep dark purple bruise. No wonder it hurt when she took off her shirt. The redness around the scratches had gone down, but it was clear her attacker had managed to get her with almost all of his fingers as four long scratches went from the base of her bra on her right side down to her stomach. At least the bra was covering up the scratches that were actually on her breast. Although she was pretty sure that if Matt took a close enough look, he would be able to figure out that some of the scratching was being covered._

" _This is what he did to you," Matt's voice sounded angry._

" _It's not as bad as it looks," she tried to tell him._

" _He drew blood," Matt's voice softened as he ran his hand over the scratches. "Does your shoulder hurt?"_

" _Only when something presses into it," she told him._

" _Then I'll be gentle," Matt said before he ducked his head down, his lips brushing lightly against her shoulder as he placed a sweet kiss on it._

" _No one should ever have been able to do this to you. I'm sorry," he continued._

" _Matt, I told you. This isn't your fault," Gabby tried to reassure him, the look in his eyes indicating that he was still feeling guilty for not being there._

" _I know. It's just I hate seeing you hurt," Matt replied._

" _I'll be fine. It's just a bruise and some scratches. We've both been hurt a lot worse," she smiled at him, hoping it would let him know she was physically okay._

* * *

" _How was your week?" Jessica asked as Gabby and Matt settled into her office for their second therapy session._

" _It was fine. We didn't see each other much outside of shift between my working at Molly's and Matt's construction job if that's what you're trying to get at, but it was fine. Just an ordinary week," Gabby said. Matt shot her a look indicating that he didn't think things had been fine all week. Knowing that he meant what had happened at Molly's the other night, Gabby shot him a look as well, indicating that she didn't want to talk about it. She just hoped Jessica didn't notice the exchange._

" _Matt you look like you disagree," Jessica commented. "How was your week?"_

" _It was busy. I'm working to basically gut and redo a fixer-upper that this couple recently bought. They can't agree on what they want at all, and in the week and a half since I started the job I think they've changed their minds about five times. Fortunately, I haven't gotten too far with any one idea before one of them has decided they want to do something else. They're pretty demanding too. I've been there all day every day we haven't had shift, even over the weekend, because they want it done as quickly as possible. It's been completely exhausting," Matt explained. Looking at Gabby he continued. "We had some good moments though. We went out to breakfast after shift this morning, which is something we used to do all the time, even before we got together but haven't done in a while. It was really nice having a chance to just hang out with Gabby again."_

" _Breakfast was good," Gabby agreed._

" _Other than that though, you two haven't had much time for each other over the past week?" Jessica asked._

" _I guess not," Gabby admitted. "I don't think we're trying to avoid each other anymore though."_

" _I'm not," Matt agreed with her._

" _Okay, I'm going to give you two an assignment," Jessica said. "For the next week, I want you to carve out at least fifteen minutes every day to spent together, just the two of you. Nothing either of you said to me last week makes me think that you two don't want to spend time together or enjoy spending time together. You were just avoiding each other to avoid your problems. The thing is that just makes your problems worse, and based on my meetings with both of you, communication is really at the root of all your problems. You can't communicate if you don't spend time together just the two of you so do this for a week and we'll discuss how it goes next week."_

" _Fifteen minutes isn't a ton of time. I think we can do that," Gabby said._

" _Definitely," Matt smiled at Gabby._

" _Good," Jessica said. "So when we met last week there was something you were concerned about Gabby. Are you still concerned about it?"_

" _Yes," Gabby said a little nervously._

" _Okay, why don't you tell us what's on your mind," Jessica prompted her._

 _Gabby just nodded. The three of them sat in silence for a minute while Gabby hoped that Jessica would help guide her into the conversation. Realizing that wasn't going to happen, she took a deep breath and then spoke._

" _Are you attracted to me?" unsure of how to bring this up, Gabby just said the first thing that came to her mind._

" _What?" Matt was clearly not expecting that to be something she would be asking him._

" _Do you think I'm attractive, beautiful, sexy, anything like that?" she tried to clarify._

" _You know I do," Matt reached out and removed a piece of loose hair from her face before cupping her cheek in his hand. "I mean you were teasing me earlier about watching you sleep. You have to know it's because you are so incredibly gorgeous, and I can't keep my eyes off you. Where is this coming from? Did something happen to make you feel like you're not because if it did, you need to know that you will never have any reason to be worried."_

" _Then am I bad in bed? A bad kisser?" she was searching for a reason why Matt didn't seem to want her anymore._

 _Instead of answering her, Matt just stared at her, his face filled with shock and confusion. Gabby was pretty sure he was at a loss for words. Not that she could really blame him. It couldn't be easy to have to explain to the woman you loved, because the one thing she didn't doubt in all of this was that Matt still loved her, why you had no desire to have any sort of physical relationship with her._

" _Gabby maybe this isn't the best way to talk about this," Jessica broke into the awkward silence._

" _What's going on? What exactly did she tell you or did you say something to her to make her think this?" Matt turned his attention to Jessica._

" _Matt, just answer the question, please," Gabby pleaded as she tried not to cry. It didn't feel like this was going well, and that just made her more nervous._

" _I just don't understand where this is coming from. Gabby, you are amazing. Don't ever doubt that," Matt said before he pulled her into him and whispered in her ear. "I'm pretty sure it would be impossible to find a better lover than you."_

" _Then why don't you want me?" she asked._

" _What do you mean I don't want you?" he replied._

" _You won't touch me Matt," Gabby explained._

" _I touch you all the time," Matt said. "Just look at how many times you were in my arms yesterday."_

" _Yeah, you held me when I was upset, but that's pretty much it Matt," Gabby told him. "You barely kiss me, and when you do it's just a peck here or a peck there. Never on the lips and never passionately. Do you know how many times we've had sex in the last six weeks? Once. You used to not be able to keep your hands off me, and now anytime I try to start something, you reject me. You clearly don't want to have a physical relationship with me. I think I have a right to know why."_

" _Wait you think I don't want to make love to you," Matt sounded shocked. "Gabby, nothing could be further from the truth. You have no idea how hard it has been to push you away these past few weeks or how many cold showers I've had to take because all I want to do is ravish you. I just know it'll be worth it because I'm doing this for us."_

" _Huh?" now it was Gabby's turn to have no idea what Matt's words meant._

" _The night you asked me to do this, I realized just how close I was to losing you, and that terrified me. The only life I want is the one I spend with you. I promised myself I would do everything I could to make sure we were okay so the first chance I got, I looked up ways to help a troubled relationship. One of the things I read was that sex can be a distraction when you're trying to fix a relationship. That sometimes couples just use it as a mask, thinking that as long as they're having sex everything is okay and don't actually fix their problems, and I don't want that for us. The article said that it can be better to avoid the physical intimacy and put all your energy into the relationship and moving past your problems. That it can help focus the couple on what they actually love about each other any why they're together," Matt explained._

" _That is something that can help and that we sometimes recommend. It depends on the couple and the issues though," Jessica said. "It may help you, but I should caution you that we're certainly not at a point where I would advise that. My preference is always to wait and see how things are going after several sessions before starting to even think about suggesting it to a couple."_

 _Gabby felt a wave of relief run through her. It wasn't that Matt didn't want to make love to her. He just wanted to make sure it was something he got to do for a long time. A few weeks or months of celibacy was a small price to pay to make sure they spent the rest of their lives together. Still she'd been suffering the last couple of weeks not knowing what was going on._

" _It probably works better if you actually tell the other person that that's what you want to do instead of making her feel like she's not desirable anymore," Gabby told him hurt evident in her voice._

" _I meant to tell you," Matt said sheepishly. "I did the research on shift. I couldn't focus on the report I was supposed to be writing because all I could think about was us and how much trouble we seemed to be in so I pushed the report aside and just tried to figure out how to fix us. I didn't want to tell you at work because we're supposed to be keeping the professional and personnel separate, and I didn't want to risk anyone overhearing. Then I guess I just never realized that I hadn't told you. I never meant to hurt you. You never told me how you were feeling though instead you just kept it inside and told her."_

" _That's what I'm here for Matt," Jessica told him._

" _I know, but you still should have told me. We can't fix things if I don't know what the problem is," he continued to address Gabby._

" _I didn't know how to bring it up, and honestly, I think I was a little afraid of what you were going to say. That's why I went to Jessica first," Gabby admitted. "But it was only an issue because you kept it from me."_

" _I wasn't trying to keep anything from you. It really never occurred to me that I hadn't told you, but you want to talk about keeping things from each other. Fine. We can do that. You're intentionally keeping things from me. Not just about how I was making you feel, but also about the fact that you were almost raped. If Hermann hadn't asked me how you were doing, I would have no idea that anything had happened. What were you going to say when I saw the bruising and scratches?" Matt got defensive and angry._

" _Wait, what?" Jessica tried to interject but didn't get anywhere._

" _I kind of figured you weren't going to see it," Gabby said._

" _So what you were just going to change in the bathroom with the door locked or something until it all healed?" Matt asked incredulously._

" _No. Just since you didn't seem to have any interest in touching me, I assumed you probably wouldn't be looking at me in any way that would make you see it," Gabby shot back. "You know why I wasn't going to tell you, and you know I don't want to talk about this, that I just want to forget it so why are you bringing it up?"_

" _Enough," Jessica shouted, finally getting the arguing couple's attention. "Now will one of you please tell me what exactly is going on. Someone tried to rape Gabby?"_

" _I'm not actually sure what he was trying to do," Gabby said. "But I would really prefer not to talk about it."_

" _Someone at least tried to force himself on her though, and he hurt her. And despite what she says, I think we do need to talk about it or at least she needs to talk to you about it or someone else who can help her," Matt told Jessica before turning to Gabby. "As much as you want to pretend you're okay, you're struggling with this Gabby. I mean you couldn't sleep last night. You're afraid to let your mind wander. I don't want to fight with you about this, but I'm worried about you."_

" _And you're apparently mad," Gabby said a little more calmly and quietly._

" _Let's take a step back," Jessica interjected again. "Matt, you said Gabby wasn't planning on telling you about this? That you found out about this from somebody else? How did they know?"_

" _He was there when it happened. I guess he figured she would have told me because you know I'm her fiancée and that would have made sense," Matt started to explain._

" _That's not fair," Gabby interjected._

" _Okay you two," Jessica cut in. "Just answer the question, and then we can get into everything else"._

" _Yesterday morning he started talking to me like he assumed I knew what happened only I didn't," Matt continued._

" _And how did that make you feel?" Jessica asked._

" _I hate the idea of anyone even trying to lay a hand on her. The fact that it actually happened makes me furious," Matt answered._

" _And the fact that she didn't tell you?" Jessica prodded._

" _It hurts," he admitted._

" _Why?" Jessica once again tried to get him to go deeper._

 _Turning towards Gabby, Matt spoke again. This time directly to her. "I know what you said earlier, and it's not that I'm saying where you're coming from doesn't matter. I know that you're just trying to get through this the best you can, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to know everything that's going on with you. I want to be the person you confide in and trust and turn to when something bad happens. I want to be there for you and support you. When you don't tell me about something like this, I can't do that, and it just feels like you're shutting me out."_

" _Matt, I –," Gabby started to speak but Matt wasn't done._

" _And I think in a weird way I was jealous of Hermann. I realize that he only knew because it happened while you two were working at Molly's, and he walked in while everything was going down. The thing is, reasonable or not, I can't help but feel like if there's one person in your life who knows something, it should be me. The fact that Hermann knew what happened, and I didn't. Well, I don't really know how to explain it. It just didn't sit well, I guess, the fact that Hermann could fill a role that I couldn't after something bad happened," he continued._

" _It's normal to feel like that," Jessica said. "This is the woman you love. Why didn't you tell her that you were hurt? You both keep burying how you feel but that just makes things worse."_

" _It wasn't about me, it was about Gabby, and she didn't need that on top of everything else," Matt answered._

" _Matt, you are always going to be the person I turn to and need most. The fact that I didn't tell you, doesn't change that," Gabby squeezed his hand, finally able to get a word in._

" _Why didn't you?" Jessica now turned her questioning to Gabby._

" _I just wanted to forget about it. I told Matt that I didn't want it to be a big deal, and I guess I was hoping that if I acted like it wasn't a one, then it wouldn't be," Gabby moved towards Matt as she explained. If she was going to be forced to talk about this, she wanted him closer to her._

" _There was no part of you that was worried about how this would affect your relationship, especially given all the problems you've been having?" Jessica queried._

" _No. At least I don't think so," Gabby said. Truth was she hadn't thought about it like that. "I was so freaked out that night that if Matt had been awake when I got home, I'm pretty sure I would have broken down."_

" _I'm sorry I wasn't," Matt wrapped his arm around Gabby, trying to be careful around her injured shoulder._

" _And then you slept on it and decided not to say anything so what changed?" Jessica prodded._

" _It hadn't just happened. The memory wasn't as fresh. I knew I was home and safe I guess," Gabby said._

" _That all?" Jessica tried again. "You seem a little unsure."_

" _Look if Matt's and my problems factored into the decision, it wasn't conscious. Until you mentioned it a few minutes ago, the idea that it had anything to do with my not telling Matt initially, hadn't even crossed my mind," Gabby got defensive._

" _Ok," Jessica replied. "Not talking about it and trying to act like it didn't happen though isn't healthy so whether it's with Matt or me or somebody else you need to be willing to talk about it. If you guys want to use some of this time or you want to schedule a separate appointment Gabby, just let me know."_

" _Whatever is going to make sure she's okay is fine with me," Matt said._

" _It just happened. I'd like to see if I can deal with it on my own before getting professional help. No offense," Gabby said. "I promise that if I'm having a hard time, I'll talk to Matt, but if it's okay, I'd like to take some time before making plans to talk to you."_

" _Of course. As long as you have someone to talk to, that's what's most important," Jessica replied._

" _I'll make sure she talks to me," Matt promised._

" _Okay. Good," Jessica said. "We're pretty much out of time for today. Is there something either of you think we absolutely need to talk about today?"_

" _I'm good," Gabby answered._

" _Me too," Matt agreed._

" _Alright then. I'll see you next week. Good luck with any last minute Christmas shopping," Jessica told the couple as they got up._

" _Oh, I'm all set," Gabby said proudly._

" _I still need to figure out what I'm getting you," Matt told her._

" _Seriously? I can't be that hard to shop for," Gabby pretended to be offended._

" _I'm kidding. Yours was the first one I bought," he said._

" _What is it?" her face lit up._

" _You're just going to have to wait and see," he responded matter-of-factly._

" _As cute as this is, I do have other clients to see," Jessica cut in._

" _Sorry," Matt said as he took Gabby's hand and headed towards the door._

" _You know I never meant to hurt you when I didn't tell you what happened," Gabby said once they were outside Jessica's office._

" _I do," Matt reassured her. "And if I had any idea that you were feeling that way, I would never have let you keep feeling like that."_

 _Gabby couldn't help but smile. A couple of weeks ago a fight like the one they'd had in the middle of their session would have ended with one of them storming out. Maybe it was because they had the conversation during therapy, but today they were able to talk through it all and get back on the same page. They'd both screwed up, but it was beginning to look like their relationship was back to getting stronger instead of weaker. That was exactly what she wanted._

* * *

Author's Note: Well there you have it. Until next time, please leave a review and let me know what you thought.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: As always I'd like to thank my reviewers and those who have favorited and/or followed this story since Chapter 10. The response continues to motivate and encourage me. I had no idea what to expect going into this so the fact that I've gotten 100 reviews after 10 chapters really means a lot to me. I know my updates have gotten less regular lately, and I really appreciate you guys sticking with me. Hopefully, life will calm down and I'll be able to get back to more regular updates soon.

In the meanwhile I hope you enjoy Chapter Eleven. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Over the past few days Matt had rarely willingly left Gabby's bedside, and it felt weird to be doing so now. Still, he couldn't let today go by without getting her something so he found himself making his way to the hospital gift shop. He knew he wouldn't be able to find the ideal gift there, but as far as he was concerned, leaving the hospital was not an option. Something had to be better than nothing, and as much as it pained him to admit it, he knew Gabby probably wouldn't even be aware that he was giving her a gift let alone why he was doing it.

Walking into the gift shop, he looked around. The selection was slim. There were some chocolates and other candies, and while normally that would have been an appropriate option for today, what was the point in getting Gabby food that she wouldn't be able to eat? There were a bunch of balloons, but they all looked cheesy and felt inappropriate. There were various necklaces and earrings next to the counter, but they all looked cheap, and it felt wrong to give Gabby jewelry that wasn't nice. There were books and magazines along the far wall, but while he was open to the idea of reading to Gabby, it felt too mundane for today. Besides he'd rather have Brett bring whatever Gabby had been reading to make it more personal. Next to the books there were cards, crossword puzzles, and other various games, but he'd want to be able to do those things with her, buying them would just be a reminder that he couldn't. There were also toys and Lakeshore Hospital branded items, but he didn't even need to think to rule those out.

When his eyes settled on the display of stuffed animals and flowers, he knew he had something he could at least work with. It may not have been as romantic as he had hoped, but he settled on a stuffed teddy bear, wearing a t-shirt that said "Get Well Soon My Love" and a colorful bouquet of flowers. It had roses, albeit pink and yellow not red, and white lilies, which were Gabby's favorite.

He picked out a card, and after writing a note on it, headed back to Gabby's room.

"Any change?" he asked as he walked back into the room. He was pretty sure he knew the answer; someone would have come to get him if there was any sign that Gabby was waking up. Still, he couldn't help asking the question, desperately hoping for some positive sign.

"No," Gabby's father said solemnly. "I assume you'd like some time alone with her."

"If you don't mind," Matt replied. Gabby's family had known he was going to the gift shop, and given the fact that he'd made the decision right after a nurse had mentioned that it was Valentine's Day, he was pretty sure they knew why so he wasn't too surprised by Gabby's father's comment. Moreover, he was just grateful that they hadn't said anything about the fact that he had needed a nurse to point out the day to him. The past few days had just blended together. He had no real sense of time. Maybe Gabby's parents were feeling the same way.

"Of course not," Gabby's mother said. "You two should have some time today. Maybe it'll help her."

"Thanks," Matt said. He hoped her mother was right. Some sign, any sign, that she was even starting to wake up would be the best Valentine's Day gift he could receive.

"I think I'm gonna head home for the night," Antonio informed them.

"Okay. We'll call you if there's any news," his father told him.

"Thanks," Antonio said before turning his attention to his sister. Squeezing her hand, he spoke directly to her. "Have a good night Gabs. I'll see you in the morning."

"We'll be in the cafeteria," Gabby's mom told Matt as Antonio left. "What should we get you?"

"You don't need to get me anything. I'm not hungry," Matt replied.

"Nonsense," Gabby's mother shot back. "You're barely eating. It's not healthy."

"I just haven't been hungry," Matt tried to explain. While he knew Gabby's mother meant well, she kept trying to force food on him, and it was getting annoying.

"Gabriella would want you to take care of yourself," Gabby's mother said.

"Just get me something. Doesn't matter what," Matt replied. He didn't really appreciate her using Gabby to guilt him, but he'd experienced enough over the past few days to know that if she was going there, she wasn't going to relent until he agreed to eat something. At least it was a sign that she saw him as part of the family, and if he still saw him that way, it was because she knew Gabby still wanted a future with him. That was something he could hold on to.

"Good. We'll be back later," Gabby's mother squeezed Matt's shoulder as she and her husband followed Antonio's lead and left the room, allowing Matt to turn his attention to Gabby.

* * *

 _Gabby was smiling as she made the appetizers that she and Matt were supposed to bring with them to Christmas dinner. There were stuffed mushrooms that she had made and pigs in a blanket that she'd bought in the oven, and she was almost ready to start frying the albóndigas. Next up was the veggie dip she was going to be making. She had bought the ingredients to make arancini too, but was beginning to worry that it would be too much given all the food that Laura and her mom were sure to be making. She'd check with Matt when he got home. She didn't actually know where he was; he'd left about twenty minutes ago, saying he had an errand to run but refusing to tell her what it was. While she was slightly annoyed with him because of it, it didn't change the fact that she was just so incredibly happy._

 _When she'd lived through this Christmas the first time a few months ago, it had really sucked. Antonio didn't have Laura and the kids for the first time in years, and she of course didn't have Matt. Her parents had planned on flying up the afternoon of Christmas Eve and staying through New Year's, but their flight had been cancelled at the last minute so they hadn't actually made it, leaving her and Antonio to spend a miserable Christmas by themselves. The siblings had spent Christmas Eve emptying Antonio's liquor cabinet after devouring the bottle of wine she'd brought to have with the dinner they barely ate, preferring to just try to drink their misery away. She then spent Christmas day curled up in a ball on Antonio's couch, trying to will one of the worst hangovers she'd ever had away._

 _This time around she had suggested her parents fly up a day earlier under guise of helping get ready for the holiday. She hadn't been able to see them yet as she was on shift yesterday, but at least this way they were able to make it. Plus, one of the differences she'd discovered between this world and the one she'd come from was that here Laura had never taken the kids and left Antonio. The best change of all though was the fact that she and Matt were still together and really seemed to be getting back on track._

 _She couldn't imagine making it through the last week without him, and in a weird way she was thankful that the attack at Molly's was unique to this world. If it had happened in the world she had come from, she was pretty sure that not having Matt by her side would have turned her into a complete mess. Instead she'd slowly gotten better as the week went on. At the beginning of the week, her nightmares had woken him up several times, but he never seemed to mind. Instead he just woke her up and held her close, reassuring her and promising that everything was okay. Even the time when she had been too asleep to realize that she was at home and it was just Matt so she'd punched him thinking he was attacking her hadn't fazed him. Fortunately, she had only gotten him in the arm, and while she spent the next day apologizing profusely, he kept insisting that she had nothing to be sorry for, telling her that her fight and ability to defend herself were two of the many things he loved about her. He could read her so well too, always able to tell when the attack was on her mind and she needed him or when she was thinking about something far less serious and he should let her be. While his construction job was still taking up a lot of his time when they weren't on shift, he was constantly checking in with her when he was there, and she got the sense that he had pushed back on the couple a little to make sure he could spend more time at home in case she needed him. It could have been suffocating, but coming from Matt, it just felt so loving. She'd only worked one night at Molly's since the attack, but Matt had been there and practically by her side the whole time, sending glares at any guy who wasn't a regular and got within two feet of her or said anything to her beyond simply ordering a drink. Surprisingly, no one from 51 had wondered what was up with that or if they did, no one said anything to her, and she knew Matt wouldn't have told them about what had happened._

 _Gabby was about to start in on the dip when Matt came home pulling her from her thoughts. He knocked on the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room, alerting her to his presence. Over the past week, he'd been careful to avoid anything that could potentially startle her after he'd inadvertently learned that she had become a little more jumpy._

" _I got you an early Christmas present," he said as he approached her._

" _They're beautiful," Gabby's smile got even bigger at the sight of a dozen red roses in his hand. "Let me just get a vase."_

 _She grabbed one out of the cabinet, filled it with water, and placed it on the counter before taking the flowers from Matt and leaning up to kiss him._

" _What did I do to deserve this?" she asked, hoping it had nothing to do with what happened last week._

" _Do I need a reason to get my girl flowers?" Matt posed a question back to her._

" _I guess not. You can be really romantic when you want to be," Gabby replied._

" _I can, and this is technically our first Christmas together. I just wanted to make sure you knew just how glad I am to be spending it with you," he informed her._

" _We spent Christmas together last year," she protested._

" _As I recall, I was in the hospital recovering from brain surgery and had to kick you out of my room to go see your family for the holiday. If that counts as spending Christmas together, I guess we did," he said._

" _Can you blame me? You have no idea how scared I was. I mean you were finally mine, and after less than a month, I almost lost you," Gabby hated the memory._

" _There was no way I was going anywhere. Not when I had you to live for," Matt told her._

" _Yup, definitely can be romantic when you want to be," Gabby laughed. "Seriously though, I really am happy to be spending Christmas with you. Although Christmas with the Dawson's, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into."_

" _Well, it's the first of many, and I'm really looking forward to it. You know I like your family, but even if I didn't, there's no one I'd rather spend Christmas or any other day with than you," Gabby couldn't help but blush a little at Matt's words._

 _At that moment a timer went off signaling that some of the appetizers were ready to be taken out of the oven._

" _Can you get that?" Gabby asked him, wanting to return to gathering the ingredients for the dip._

" _Sure," Matt answered._

" _Oh I wanted to ask. I haven't started the arancini yet, and I'm a little worried that it's going to be too much. I know Laura technically put us or well me on appetizer duty, but there's no way she and my mom aren't going to decide they need to make some sort of appetizer. Plus, there's just going to be a ton of food there in general. Do you want me to make it?" she inquired._

" _What's arancini?" he asked back._

" _Rice and cheese balls," she informed him. "We had them as an appetizer when we took your sister out to dinner after the divorce was finalized. You really liked them and asked if I knew how to make them."_

" _I remember now. They were really good," Matt told her. "I thought you said you'd never made them."_

" _I hadn't but I found a recipe online. I was just looking for a special occasion to surprise you with them," Gabby told him._

" _Special occasion, huh?" he teased._

" _Yeah well, whether this year or last year counts as our first Christmas together, it is definitely my first Christmas as the future Mrs. Casey," she smiled._

" _The future Mrs. Casey. Only way that could sound better is if you were saying that you were Mrs. Casey," Matt smiled back at her._

 _He moved towards Gabby, taking her in his arms and spinning her around so that they were facing each other. Based on the look on his face, she had no doubt that she had made him really happy referring to herself that way. What happened next surprised her though. Matt dipped his head down, capturing her lips with his own, and kissing her passionately. She automatically wrapped her arms around his neck, forgetting that she was still holding the spoon she had been using to scoop sour cream into a bowl until it made contact with his head. Matt seemed to either not notice or not care though as he just kept kissing her until finally the need for air became too great, and they were forced to break apart._

" _Sorry," Gabby was slightly embarrassed._

" _For what?" Matt asked._

" _Your hair. I guess I just got caught up in the moment and didn't think about the spoon," she admitted._

" _Don't worry about it. That was worth a lot more than some," he paused to look at the package on the counter. "Sour cream in my hair. I'll just hop in the shower. I have time before we have to leave, right?"_

" _Yeah, you do," she couldn't help but laugh._

" _Okay then. I will see you in a few minutes," Matt turned towards their bedroom, calling out as he began to walk. "As for those rice and cheese balls, I'm not going to try to remember what they're called, it's your family so you've got a better idea of how much to bring than I do so it's your call. If you're really worried it's too much though, we could always have them when Severide and Shay come over tomorrow afternoon."_

 _As she went back to the dip, Gabby knew she had a huge smile on her face. That kiss had been amazing. It felt so good to have Matt's lips on hers and his tongue intertwined with hers again. She really had missed that. She also was curious where that had come from but hadn't wanted to ruin the moment by asking._

 _When they got home after their last therapy session, she and Matt had talked some more about the research Matt had done that led him to believe that not having sex would be good for them and what Jessica had to say about it. One of the things she'd learned was that the reason it wasn't just sex that had been missing from their relationship was because Matt was worried he wouldn't be able to control himself if things started to get heated between them so he was doing everything he could to avoid those situations. He'd also told her that even though Jessica had told them that she didn't think they needed something like this, he thought that anything that could even potentially help make sure they made it was worth it, and he wanted to wait a few more weeks before they did anything. She had been hoping that Jessica's words would have gotten him off of this so she hearing those words had brought all her fears and insecurities about the situation back up, but Matt had managed to reassure her. Now she hoped that the kiss meant that he was at least beginning to consider changing his mind._

* * *

 _About an hour and a half later, Gabby and Matt arrived at Antonio's. Despite the fact that they were each carrying a couple of containers of food, Matt managed to ring the doorbell. A moment later, Gabby's mother was opening the door._

" _Gabriella, let me help you with that," her mother said as she took one of the containers from Gabby's arms. The three of them made their way to the kitchen to drop off the food._

" _Laura, why'd you even have me make anything?" Gabby asked when she caught site of the mini quiches and bacon-wrapped scallops that were sitting on the counter._

" _Antonio, don't eat all of those. Someone else might want them," Laura snapped as Antonio used one hand to put a scallop in his mouth and the other to take a second off the platter, which Gabby now realized was only three-quarters full. "Sorry Gabby. I really didn't intend to make any appetizers, but as your mom and I were cooking everything else this afternoon, I just couldn't resist."_

" _You know one of these years, I'm just not going to bother," Gabby said before turning to Matt. "She does this every year. Has me make appetizers or a salad or something and then does it herself so we just have too much food."_

" _Now I can properly greet you. Come here Gabriella," Gabby's mom said once all the containers were on the counter, and then she pulled her into a tight hug._

" _It's good to see you Mom," Gabby told her._

 _Gabby's mom then pulled Matt into a hug, kissing his cheek._

" _I wanted to thank you guys for saying that my sister and niece could come," Matt said to Laura and Antonio._

" _Of course. We're all family now," Laura replied. "What did they wind up doing anyways?"_

" _They went on a cruise," Matt answered. "I think with this being the first holiday season since the divorce, Christie just wanted to get away."_

" _That's understandable," Laura said._

" _Your father and the kids are in the den watching TV," Gabby's mom informed them. "Antonio, Matt why don't you go join them?"_

" _Yes Mom," Antonio said with a laugh as the two men left the kitchen._

" _What can I do to help?" Gabby asked once it was just the three woman in the room._

" _I assume those need to be heated up," Laura gestured towards the food that Gabby and Matt had brought._

" _Everything but the veggies and dip," Gabby told her._

" _Can you put them in the oven then?" Laura asked. "I need to finish setting the table. Once that's all done, we can bring all the appetizers out and join the guys and Eva."_

" _Sure," Gabby said as she grabbed a cookie sheet and began emptying the containers. She put the food in the oven and then leaned against the counter, waiting for either the food to be all warmed up or at least one of her mother and Laura to finish what they were doing._

" _It's a good thing you suggested we come up a day early," Gabby's mother said once she had finished filling an ice bucket. "The flight your dad and I were originally going to take was cancelled this afternoon. I'm not sure we would have been able to make it up here in time if we hadn't changed our plans."_

" _Lucky break," Gabby said. So that was something that hadn't changed, and she had definitely done the right thing suggesting her parents come up early._

" _Table's all set," Laura said as she came back into the kitchen._

 _At that moment, the timer went off, alerting them to the fact that Gabby's appetizers should be sufficiently warm. Gabby took the food out of the oven, and while she and her mom plated it, Laura put the main course in the oven to keep it warm. Once that was all done, they brought the appetizers into the den. It required two trips, but after it had all be brought in, they joined the rest of the family._

" _Antonio, let everyone else take some scallops first," Laura said as she put the platter down next to some paper plates that had been put out earlier._

 _Someone turned off the TV, and everyone got up and grabbed some food. Plate in hand, Gabby grabbed a seat next to Matt and leaned into him as the family ate and talked. Once they were both done with their food, she took Matt's empty plate and put it with hers on the coffee table before snuggling closer to him. Matt wrapped his arm around her, and she rested her head against his shoulder, only moving it when the conversation required her to do so. They stayed like that for nearly an hour, chatting with her family, until Laura announced that it was time for dinner._

* * *

" _Things seem better between you and Matt," Gabby's mother told her as they brought some dishes into the kitchen. Dinner was over. Gabby and her mother were tasked with clearing off the dining room table before dessert while Laura washed dishes. Matt and Antonio had been sent to clean up the den, and the kids were off somewhere competing for their grandfather's attention._

" _What?" Gabby asked confused. She hadn't told her parents about their struggles, not wanting to disappoint them or admit that even though this was by far the most important relationship she'd ever had, it was also just another one that she couldn't make work. Despite having only seen him a handful of times, she knew her parents really loved Matt and had begun to see him as a second son. In the original world, her parents hadn't known what was going on until she called her mom in tears from the car after she'd left their apartment for the last time. Since that had never happened here, she had no idea how her mom had known._

" _Come on Gabriella. You may have been trying to hide it, but it was pretty obvious at Thanksgiving that you two were having problems. You barely spoke to each other, and there was a light missing from your eyes. It's back now though," her mother told her. "Your father and I have been worried about you, but it looks like we don't need to be anymore."_

" _Okay. Honestly, after a while, balancing work and home became a little more difficult than we thought it would be. Things got a little tough, and we were fighting a lot. We're learning to do a better job navigating it though, and things have gotten a lot better. We're going to make our way through all this and be fine. In six months, my candidacy will be over, and I'll transfer to another house. Then we won't even have to worry about this stuff anymore," she explained._

" _I'm glad," her mother replied. "I don't think I've ever seen you as happy as you've been over the past year."_

" _That's because no one has ever made me as happy as Matt does. Losing him isn't an option," Gabby said before adding softly. "It never should have been."_

" _What was that?" her mother asked. She must have heard something, but hopefully, she hadn't been able to make any of the words out._

" _Nothing," Gabby answered._

" _You sure?" Gabby's mom prodded._

" _Yes," she tried to reassure her._

" _How much is left?" Laura asked as they dropped some plates and glasses off by the sink_

" _I'd say most of the glasses and about half the plates. There may be some loose silverware too," Gabby replied._

 _At that moment, Antonio and Matt came into the kitchen._

" _Den is clean. Trash bag is in the garage," Antonio informed them._

" _Great. Antonio can you dry everything that's in the dish drain?" Laura asked._

" _Sure," he said although he didn't sound too happy about it._

" _You need help with the table?" Matt asked, making Gabby smile. It was Christmas Eve. She wouldn't have blamed him if after cleaning up the den, he had just wanted to sit back and relax until dessert, but here he was offering to help her clean up. She really was a lucky woman._

" _If you don't mind," Gabby replied._

" _Not at all," Matt told her._

" _Thanks babe," she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek._

 _They spent the next ten minutes clearing off the table while Laura put as much as she could in the dishwasher before starting it and washing everything else by hand. Antonio helped when asked but otherwise just hung around the kitchen, prompting Laura to ask why he couldn't be more like Matt, which made Gabby laugh. After the table was cleaned off, Matt and Gabby set the table for dessert while Laura got the dessert out and Antonio called the kids and his and Gabby's father._

* * *

" _I don't know if Gabby told you Matt, but we have a tradition in this family that the kids each get to open one gift on Christmas Eve," Laura said once everyone had finished desert._

" _Is it time?" Diego asked excitedly._

" _Just give me a minute to put the leftovers in the fridge," Laura said as everyone got up and followed Diego, who ran excitedly towards the Christmas tree in the living room._

" _Eva, what are you doing?" Gabby asked as she saw her niece examining every item under the tree._

" _I'm trying to find the gift from you. Since you won't be here tomorrow, I thought I should open that one tonight," Eva explained._

" _Here, let me help you," Gabby said since she knew exactly what the box looked like. She had dropped the kid's gifts off a few days ago, and didn't know exactly where they were under the tree, but she knew she would be able to identify it. "Got it."_

" _Is that the one you got Diego?" Eva pointed to a box next to the one Gabby had just picked up. It had the same wrapping paper and said Diego's name on the card._

" _Yes," Gabby replied._

" _Diego, open this one," Eva ordered her brother._

" _Eva, he can open whichever gift he wants," Antonio scolded his daughter._

" _Ready?" Laura asked as she joined them in the living room._

" _Yes," Diego said enthusiastically, clearly not caring that Eva had chosen the gift for him._

 _Eva opened hers first. Gabby and Matt had gotten her a book of nail designs and a couple bottles of nail polish._

" _Thanks," she said excitedly and then immediately started flipping through the book as she muttered to herself. "What do I want to do first?"_

 _Diego opened his next. They had gotten him the first two Rocky movies on Blu-ray, and Gabby was a little nervous about it. He had been begging for the DVDs for years, but Laura had always said he was too young for them. This year Laura had relented and said that while she refused to buy them for him, someone else could so Gabby and her mom had talked and decided that Gabby and Matt would buy the first two and her parents would buy the remaining four. Now she just hoped Laura hadn't changed her mind. Looking at her sister-in-law, Gabby saw a smile form on the woman's face, allowing her to relax._

" _Yes," Diego was clearly thrilled. "Thanks Auntie Gabby. Thanks Uncle Matt."_

 _As Diego got up and hugged both her and Matt, Gabby was pretty sure she was beaming. It was the first time either of her brother's kids had referred to Matt as their uncle, and the title sounded incredible. As far as she was concerned it was another sign that she and Matt were going to be together forever._

" _You're welcome," Matt was definitely smiling. Gabby could tell that his reaction to Diego calling him uncle was pretty much the same as hers._

* * *

 _About half an hour later, Matt and Gabby were getting ready to leave._

" _Thanks for having us," Gabby said as she hugged Laura._

" _Of course," Laura said back._

" _Remember your dad and I are taking you and Matt out to dinner on Friday," Gabby's mom said._

" _I know. Have a good night," Gabby said as she followed Matt out the door._

" _I think I could not eat for a week and still be completely full," Matt said once the door was closed._

" _I told you there would be a lot of food, didn't I?" Gabby replied._

" _Yeah, but it was still a lot of food, and what was up with the way your mother kept insisting I eat more? Do I look unhealthy to you or something?" he asked._

" _Nope. You look absolutely perfect," she told him._

* * *

Author's Note: So I know I left you guys hanging there by not showing Matt and Gabby's Valentine's Day. I promise you will see it. The truth is that this chapter and what's now going to be Chapter Twelve were originally intended to be one chapter except I completely underestimated how long it was going to be. After writing the dreamworld part of this chapter, I realized I had over 4,000 words and was maybe halfway done. Not wanting to take a month to update again or make you guys read an 8,000 plus word chapter, I decided to break it in two and wrote what was intended to be the first part of the real world section, figuring it really needed to be posted with this. _  
_

Please leave a review to let me know what you think (and if you've picked up on why the real world and dreamworld sections had to go together). Until next time, I hope you enjoyed the beginning of Christmas and Valentine's Day in July.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: As always thank you to my reviewers and those who have favorited and/or followed this story since the last chapter. The support continues to mean a lot to me.

I hope you guys like long chapters because I'm pretty sure this is the longest one so far.

I'm too tired to think of anything else to say at the moment so here's the next chapter (hopefully that's not reflected in the edit I just did). Enjoy and please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Twelve

" _Morning," Matt said as Gabby opened her eyes the following morning._

" _Morning. Merry Christmas," Gabby replied. "You want me to make breakfast?"_

" _You know, I think I'm still full from last night," Matt said._

" _Me too," Gabby agreed. "If we hadn't invited Shay and Severide over, I don't think I'd even eat lunch."_

" _I know. I don't think I've ever seen that much food in one place or eaten that much. I know I said the same thing at Thanksgiving, but I mean it," Matt said._

" _Don't say I didn't warn you," Gabby told him._

" _No you did, and really I don't mind. It was nice having a real Christmas with you and your family," he replied. "Do you want to exchange gifts now?"_

" _Sure," she answered._

 _They got out of bed and made their way towards the tree in the living room. Both of them taking a seat on the floor before Matt handed Gabby a small square shaped box._

" _You go first," he said._

" _Okay," she replied as she took the box from him and began unwrapping it._

 _Beneath the wrapping paper she found a velvet box emblazoned with the name of one of the fancy jewelry stores on the Miracle Mile. Inside the box was a necklace. On what looked to be a silver chain were two intertwined silver and gold colored hearts._

" _Oh Matt. It's beautiful," she told him._

" _I know things have been rough, first between us and then for you, so I wanted to do something extra special. It's white and yellow 14 carat gold, and the hearts represent our hearts, intertwined forever," he explained._

" _It's perfect Matt. I love it," she didn't even want to know how much it had cost, something telling her they had both spent far more on each other's gifts than they should have._

" _I know you're still in your pajamas, but do you want me to put it on you?" Matt asked her._

" _Sure," Gabby said as she handed him the box and moved her hair out of the way so he had access to the back of her neck._

" _Let me see," he requested once the necklace was around her neck. She turned back towards him, prompting him to speak again._

" _It looks amazing on you. Just like I knew it would," his words made her blush._

" _Thanks," she said before picking up another box from below the tree. "Your turn."_

 _She watched Matt open the box and then his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped._

" _G-Ga-Gabby," he stammered, seemingly at a loss for words as he continued to stare at the frame and the Blackhawks team photo within it._

" _It's supposed to be signed by every member of the team and coaching staff," she told him. She was very pleased with herself._

" _How – How did you get this?" Matt finally found his voice._

" _The Blackhawks had a charity auction a couple of weeks ago. I overheard some woman talking about it when I was getting a haircut. I somehow managed to put in the winning bid," Gabby explained._

" _This is too much," he told her._

" _No it's not. You deserve it, and I know I've been difficult at times lately and you've done a lot for me so I wanted to get you something special too, a gift you'd never forget. I just hope everything from here on out isn't a letdown," she said._

" _A gift from you could never be a letdown," he told her._

" _Sure," she knew he meant it in the moment but doubted it was actually turn out to be true._

" _You must have spent a fortune on this," he was clearly still slightly shocked._

" _And you must have spent a fortune on this necklace so we're even," she replied, prompting Matt to just nod. "You can put that up wherever you want. Just let me know first in case I need to rearrange anything."_

" _Maybe over the TV. It might be nice to be able to look at this while watching games. Let me think about it," he said._

" _Of course," she told him._

" _Thank you so much babe," he pulled her in for a kiss._

" _So ornaments and then go through everyone else's gifts?" she suggested once they'd broken away from each other. They had agreed that they would each get each other one gift as well as an ornament so that they could start personalizing their tree._

" _Sure," he agreed._

" _You go first this time," she told him, really wanting him to see what she had gotten for him. She had wanted to get him something personal, something that symbolized who they were, and while the actual ornament wasn't what she had in mind originally, it was exactly what she had been looking for, and she was pretty sure it was perfect._

" _Okay," he said._

 _She handed him the box and watched as he opened it. He took the ornament out, spun it around, and then eyed it closely, a smile forming on his lips as he realized what it was._

" _When was this taken?" he asked her. "I don't think I've ever seen it."_

" _Shay took it a few months after she started at 51. She said she saw us sitting there and thought we looked really cute," Gabby explained._

" _You've had this all this time and never showed it to me," Matt observed._

" _No. I'm pretty sure she gave me a copy of it at the time, but I honestly don't know what happened to it. I saw it for the first time in years the week after Thanksgiving. Shay was showing me something on her computer and wound up opening the picture up by accident. I asked her to send it to me," she clarified._

 _On the ornament was a picture of them from long before they became a couple. They were at work, leaning against the front bumper of Truck 81, laughing. Gabby liked it not just for the firefighter symbolism, but because while she hadn't noticed it the first time she'd seen the picture, looking at it now, you could tell that there was something more than friendship between them. To her it represented the years of unspoken feelings, the road they'd taken to get here, and the fact that they were meant to be. Plus, Matt looked really hot in the picture._

" _Thanks babe. I love it," Matt said. "It's a great picture of us. We should print out a regular copy of it and put it up somewhere. The ornament's not going to be up all year."_

" _That's a great idea," Gabby replied. "Don't take this the wrong way, but if I didn't know this was taken six years ago, I would have thought it was from after we got together."_

" _I actually thought it had been taken in the last year when I first looked at it," he told her. "Do you want to open yours now?"_

 _Gabby nodded and he handed her a box. Unwrapping it she saw the same packaging that was on the ornament she had just given him. Clearly, Matt had gotten something customized for her as well, and what's more, they had gone to the same place. There was something heartwarming about the fact that both ornaments had been made at the same place and maybe even at the same time._

 _She took the ornament out of the box and looked at it. It was off-white with cursive writing in red on one side and green on the other. The red text simply said "Matt & Gabby" while the green text said "Our Time is Forever." It was a variation of the words he had said to her their first morning together when she was clearly unsure of what he wanted, the words that in her mind had meant that they were officially a couple._

" _I didn't know you remembered," Gabby simply stated._

" _Telling you it was our time. It was one of the most important mornings of my life, of course I remember," Matt told her._

" _I like the way forever sounds," she smiled._

" _Me too, and I promise you, we're going to have forever," he returned her smile._

 _They spent the next fifteen minutes opening the rest of the gifts from their family and friends until there was only one box left under the tree. Gabby was mentally ticking off names trying to figure out who they hadn't yet opened a gift from._

" _What's up with that," she pointed to the box. "We've opened things from my family, your family, pretty much all our friends except for Shay and Severide and that's because they're bringing what they got us with them. Who haven't we opened a gift from?"_

" _No one. That's from me," Matt explained._

" _Matt, we said we'd do the ornaments and one other gift," while she knew his heart was in the right place, Gabby was a little annoyed he hadn't kept to their deal, especially since she actually had. It didn't seem fair that he had gotten her something else when she hadn't done the same for him._

" _I know, and I was never expecting you to get me another gift so don't worry about not getting me something else," he clearly knew what she was thinking. "And trust me, you're not going to be the only one who enjoys this. I wasn't planning on breaking our deal. It's just I was thinking yesterday and realized that there was something else I really wanted to get you so when I went out yesterday afternoon I got more than the roses. I hope you like it."_

" _So you're saying you would have rather gotten me this than the necklace but you had already bought the necklace so you decided to just give me both?" she asked a little nervously. The necklace was beautiful and his reasoning behind it had been so sweet, but if it wasn't what he had really wanted to give her, what did that mean?_

" _No. You would be getting both no matter what. At least as long as I had thought of this. Just consider what's in here a gift for both of us," Matt replied._

" _Matt, you can't get yourself a gift," Gabby couldn't help but laugh._

" _Yes I can. Although I suppose technically you're going to be the one who gives it to me. Now open it," he insisted._

 _She was confused, but Gabby obliged. Once she'd unwrapped it, opened the box, and started moving the tissue paper out of the way, getting her first glimpse of the gift, she finally started to understand what he meant. The box contained a lacy cream colored bra with a black border along with a matching g-string and garter belt. Matt's gift was going to be her wearing it. The question now was what exactly did this mean? Was he finally ready to let go of this idea that celibacy would be good for their relationship or did he just want to see her in this at some point down the road? While definitely sexy, the bra and panties really could be worn any day. Maybe he just wanted to come across them one day while undressing her. Then again the garter belt was certainly not the sort of thing she tended to wear if she was just going to be going about her day. Instead it was the sort of thing she would put on solely so Matt could take it off of her._

" _I know I said I thought it would be good for us to wait a while and focus on getting back on track. I also know you've never really been thrilled with the idea," Matt began._

" _Hey, there is nothing I want more than for us to get through things and come out stronger than ever. It's just I feel like we are doing that, and I miss being with you," Gabby felt the need to explain._

" _I know, and the truth is, it's getting harder and harder to stick with this plan and resist you," he continued, making her smirk at the double entendre. Matt must have noticed because he suddenly changed course. "I didn't mean it like that. Although you certainly do that to me too. What I was trying to say is that the more time that passes since we last really kissed or made love, the more I want to. When I was in my office trying to write reports before shift ended yesterday and again when I was trying to put together plans for the Cosgrove's house yesterday afternoon, I couldn't focus. All I could think about was all the things I want to do to you when we finally do make love. And then I started thinking that this whole thing doesn't make sense. We weren't using sex to avoid talking because we weren't having sex, and now that we are doing better, a lot better, we're still not having sex because I got this idea in my head that it would be good for us. So I decided screw it. I need you too much. I was tempted to go to the kitchen and take you then and there, but it's been so long that I wanted to do this right, and then I thought that making love to you might be the best Christmas present that I've ever gotten so I went out and bought this instead."_

 _Matt leaned over to kiss her. As soon as their lips were on each other's his tongue was begging to be granted entrance to her mouth. She quickly obliged, and with one hand he pushed the lingerie box off her lap and with the other he pulled her closer until her tank top rested against his bare chest. Matt's kisses had always been incredible, but she had never been kissed quite like this. It was like all the love and desire he'd forced himself to bury for the past few weeks was coming to the surface, finally ready to be let out. This moment was absolutely amazing, and Gabby didn't want it to ever end. Unfortunately, she desperately tried to stop the warmth that was pooling within her, knowing she had to stop things; when they finally made love again, she wanted it to be so much more than it could be at the moment._

" _I need you," Matt's voice was husky as he had finally pulled away needing to breathe. "What do you say you go try your gift on?"_

" _Do you want a quickie or do you want to be able to savor being together again?" Gabby asked quietly._

 _Matt just started at her blankly, clearly not thinking about all the things she still had to do this morning._

" _If everything is going to be ready for when Shay and Severide get here, I don't have a lot of time," she explained, prompting a look of disappointment to flash over Matt's face. "Sorry Babe, but either we have to be quick or we have to wait until after they leave in which case I'm all yours for as long as you want me to be."_

" _Why did we invite them over again?" Matt was clearly frustrated._

" _Because they're our best friends and neither of them has family in town at the moment and its Christmas and they didn't have any plans," she responded._

" _Well we are getting them out of here as quickly as possible," he insisted._

" _Deal," she couldn't help but laugh at how Matt was acting. He'd made her wait weeks, mostly without any explanation, and now he couldn't handle waiting half a day. Yeah it had been a long time, but the end was in sight. That should be helping. It was helping her. Still, his attitude told her that she was in for an absolutely amazing end of the day. "Would you mind cleaning all this up? I need to go shower so I can start making lunch."_

" _You sure you don't want company?" Matt asked._

" _Matt, they're going to be here in a couple of hours," she told him._

" _It was worth a shot," he said sheepishly. "Maybe I should have just taken you in the kitchen yesterday."_

" _And then we might have missed Christmas dinner. That would have been a fun conversation with my parents and brother," she couldn't help herself and the words just started pouring out. "Sorry, but all the things Matt and I were doing to each other, you don't want to know the details, just felt so good that I couldn't resist. You see no one's ever known my body as well as Matt does, and I knew it would feel even better once he was inside me, and then when he came inside me, so I decided it was a good idea to blow off Christmas in order to blow something else because well, it's been so long since Matt's been that close to me, and I've had an orgasm."_

 _Gabby let out a laugh once she was done. She had no idea what had just come over her and judging by the look on Matt's face, he didn't have any idea either. He was just staring at her, giving her a look that was a combination of amusement and what on earth was that. Maybe it was just that after not being with him for over three weeks and just once in almost two months, she was really horny. Finally, Matt spoke._

" _We certainly wouldn't have told them that," he said. "We do not need to scar your family or make them change their minds about letting me marry you."_

" _They don't have a say in whether or not we get married," she interjected._

" _Well, I prefer them liking me, and the point is your parents do not need to know that we know how to do all these incredible, x-rated things to each other, and they certainly don't need to know when we wind up doing them, but for the record, no one's ever known my body as well as you do either," Matt continued. "Although if we had missed Christmas dinner because of it, they would have been partly to blame. They're the ones who created the most beautiful, sexy, perfect woman on the planet. They can't blame me for loving, wanting, and needing her."_

" _Matthew Casey, are you still trying to seduce me? Flattering me like that," Gabby was blushing._

" _Maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that it's all true," he replied._

" _Okay, I'm walking away now," she said. She needed to get out of there immediately or Shay and Severide were going to find no food and the two of them naked and in a very private position. At least neither of their friends had a key as far as she knew._

* * *

 _Gabby and Matt were setting the table when they heard knocking, indicating that Shay and Severide had arrived, Matt having managed to move on from his seduction attempts by the time Gabby got out of the shower and he got in it. She had promised him it would be worth the wait. Although he said he knew that._

" _Babe, can you get the door?" Gabby asked. She had brownies in the oven. The timer was about to go off, and while they would be rather hot once they left the oven, she knew better than to leave Matt alone with freshly baked goods. Otherwise, lunch was going to be rather light. She'd made sandwiches and salad, but after last night, she didn't want to have a lot of food. Hopefully, Severide and Shay wouldn't mind._

" _Hey. Merry Christmas," she heard Shay's voice at practically the same moment she heard the door open._

" _Merry Christmas. Gabby's in the kitchen. Let me take that," Matt replied._

" _Merry Christmas girl," Shay made her way into the kitchen just as Gabby was taking the brownies out of the oven. "Kelly and I brought wine and tequila. We weren't sure what would go better with lunch."_

" _You sure you didn't just want the tequila?" Gabby teased._

" _Maybe," Shay admitted._

" _I knew it. Merry Christmas," Gabby hugged Shay just as Matt and Severide made their way into the kitchen, Matt placing the drinks down on the counter._

" _Hi Dawson," Severide said._

" _Hey. Thanks for coming you guys," Gabby said._

" _Of course. Thanks for having us," Shay replied._

" _You really think I'm going to turn down free food," Severide joked._

" _Well, I hope you're okay with a lighter lunch," Gabby replied._

" _Gabby's family went all out last night. Neither of us could handle a lot of food right now," Matt added._

" _Whatever you made is fine Dawson," Shay said._

" _What makes you think I didn't make any of it?" Matt asked._

" _I hope you didn't. I prefer to actually enjoy my meals," Shay laughed._

 _Gabby brought the sandwiches and salad over to the table, and the four of them sat down to eat. After lunch, they moved to the living room in order to exchange gifts._

" _You two go last," Shay pointed to Gabby and Matt._

" _Okay. Then you go first," Gabby replied, prompting Shay to immediately reach for the gift bag._

" _Oh! Thanks guys," Shay said excitedly once she'd taken out the bottle of expensive tequila and basket of bubble bath and scented bath salts._

" _You're welcome," Gabby laughed._

 _Severide went next, opening up his gift to unveil a bottle of expensive whiskey along with a Blackhawks flask and shot glass. He seemed pleased._

" _So Shay and I each got you a gift because there was no way I was contributing to what she got you," Severide said as he handed the two of them a gift bag._

" _Well now I'm curious. Nervous too," Gabby eyed her best friend suspiciously. Shay just smiled at her._

 _Meanwhile Matt took the gift bag from Severide and opened it, taking out a set of flavored coffee and then handing the bag to Gabby so that she could take out the remaining contents. She did so, pulling out a set of his and hers coffee mugs._

" _Awww. Who knew you could be so romantic," Shay teased him. "Now here's what I got you."_

" _How afraid should I be?" Matt asked._

" _Very," Severide answered._

" _Just open it," Shay almost pleaded._

" _Okay Miss Impatient," Gabby said as she took the bag from Shay and placed it between her and Matt._

 _Gabby reached in first, pulling out some candles. Those seemed harmless enough so whatever Severide wanted no part of was still in the bag for Matt to take out. He reached in then and took out a book. Slightly afraid to look at the book, Gabby stared at Matt's face as a look of shock and embarrassment settled on it while he stared at the book, clearly not sure what to think. Gabby then glanced towards the book, her cheeks turning bright red once she realized what it was. Shay had gotten them a kama sutra book._

" _Kelly recommends either eleven or twelve," Shay broke into the awkward silence._

" _What? Where did you get that idea?" Severide protested._

" _You were saying, and I quote 'Oh yeah, that was really good. Should do it again sometime,' when I caught you flipping through the book before I had a chance to wrap it the other morning. It was open to eleven and twelve when I took it from you," Shay explained. Turning towards Gabby and Matt she added. "So what do you guys think?"_

" _Uh, thanks," Gabby managed to get out. It would be one thing if she and Matt had decided to get a book like this on their own or it was her bachelorette party, but while she knew Shay meant well, it was probably the most embarrassing Christmas gift she'd ever been given. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought it was a gag gift._

" _Sev, you've got to see what Gabby got me," Matt finally managed to speak, clearly needing to get out of there._

" _Shay, would you mind helping me clean up?" Gabby asked, wanting to talk to her best friend in private._

" _Sure," Shay said as she got up, the girls heading back towards the kitchen while Matt guided Severide towards where he'd left the picture._

" _Wow," Gabby heard Severide say as she started clearing the table. "This is amazing."_

" _I know," Matt agreed._

" _I can't believe she managed to get this for you. The fact that she would even think to track down something like this let alone actually get her hands on it," Severide said._

" _Well, I have the best girl in the world, and not a day goes by when I'm not incredibly grateful that she somehow managed to fall in love with me," Gabby felt bad for eavesdropping, but Matt's words warmed her heart._

" _Aww, isn't that sweet," Shay whispered as the two ladies dropped some plates off at the sink._

 _The two woman continued to work in silence until finally, the table was empty and all the dirty dishes were gathered on the counter. Gabby turned the sink on in part to keep her conversation private and in part because she needed to wash the dishes._

" _What were you thinking?" Gabby asked quietly as she washed the first dish._

" _You don't like it?" Shay asked concerned._

" _It's not that. I'm sure Matt and I can have a lot of fun with it," Gabby reassured her. "It's just not what I was expecting. It's not exactly your typical Christmas present for your best friend."_

" _Well, who wants typical? It's boring," Shay laughed._

" _We got you something more typical. You saying it's boring, and you don't really like it?" Gabby wanted to know._

" _Not at all. I loved it. That's not the point though. I know Casey's been on this no sex is good for us kick," Shay started to explain. Having previously confided in Shay her concerns about Matt seemingly not wanting to have a physical relationship with her, Gabby of course had told Shay about what Matt's reasons were once she'd found out, which had led to a fit of laughter and an 'I told you so' from Shay._

" _And while I'm glad I was right and you had nothing to be worried about, I also know you're frustrated with the whole situation. I thought maybe the book would get Casey thinking and maybe help," Shay continued._

" _Matt doesn't need any help," Gabby said._

" _Does that mean you two have, you know?" Shay inquired._

" _Not yet, but he got me lingerie and said he didn't want to keep waiting. If we hadn't already invited you guys over, I'm pretty sure we would be in bed right now," Gabby answered._

" _EEEEE," Shay squealed._

" _What has her so excited?" Severide asked as he and Matt made their way into the kitchen._

" _Just some girl talk," Gabby really hoped that the men hadn't heard or been able to piece together the fact that they had been talking about Matt's and her sex life._

" _You guys would find it boring," Shay added._

" _Anything I can do to help?" Matt asked as he came up behind Gabby._

" _We're pretty much done cleaning up," Gabby told him. "Do you want to get out some plates for dessert?"_

" _Sure," Matt said as he headed towards the cabinet where they kept the plates._

 _Gabby took out the plate of brownies, and the four of them made their way back to the kitchen table._

" _I'm tired. Let's go home Kelly," Shay said once they'd finished dessert._

" _It's the middle of the afternoon," Severide pointed out._

" _I know, but I didn't sleep well last night," Shay claimed as she got up. "Thanks for having us guys. We'll see you on shift tomorrow."_

" _I guess we're leaving," Severide said as he got up to follow Shay. "Everything was great Dawson."_

" _Thanks," Gabby said as she and Matt walked towards the door with Shay and Severide. She was pretty sure that Shay wasn't actually tired but was trying to make sure she and Matt had their alone time sooner rather than later._

" _See you tomorrow," Matt said as he handed Shay and Severide their coats._

" _Have a good afternoon guys. Enjoy your gift," Shay smirked. Gabby wasn't sure if the woman was referring to what Shay had gotten them or what Matt had gotten her._

 _Not really sure what to say to that, Gabby just hugged Shay goodbye before she and Severide left the apartment._

" _I cannot believe she got us that," Matt said after the door was closed._

" _It's Shay. We should know to expect the unexpected and inappropriate," Gabby replied. "She meant well, but man that was embarrassing."_

" _It was, and it's not like we need help in bed," Matt said. Although it sounded more like a question, like he was worried that Shay had gotten them the book because Gabby had told her that didn't enjoy it when they made love._

" _No we don't. You are absolutely amazing," Gabby smiled at him, hoping he knew that she was speaking the truth._

" _So now that we have this place to ourselves for the rest of the day, do you want to try on your gift?" Matt asked her. "I'll finish cleaning up and then join you."_

" _Sure," Gabby placed a peck on his cheek before heading towards their bedroom._

 _Gabby took off her clothes and put on the bra, panties, and garter belt that Matt had gotten her. She left the necklace on though, wanting Matt to see her in everything he had given her this morning and nothing else. Once her outfit was all set, she took a look in the mirror and was glad to see that the bruise and scratches from when she was attacked last week were barely visible. She didn't want Matt to be reminded of what had happened when he laid eyes on her. That awful night last week should be far from both their minds as they finally made love again._

 _She was disappointed to realize that Matt wasn't done cleaning up once she was ready. As she debated whether she should go into the kitchen and get him, there was a knock on the door._

" _You ready?" Matt called through the door._

" _Yeah," she turned around and watched him walk through the door. Even with his jeans on, she was able to see just aroused he had become as soon as he laid eyes on her._

" _That looks even more incredible on you than I imagined," Matt said as his eyes roamed her body, his voice filled with lust._

" _Thanks," Gabby blushed._

 _At that moment, Matt reached her. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in for a kiss, his arms roaming her practically bare back. With their bodies pressed against each other, Gabby could feel his desire for her, sending her own desire sky high._

" _You're wearing…too many…clothes," she managed to get out between kisses as she reached for his shirt, needing desperately to get it off of him._

* * *

Looking at Gabby, Matt couldn't help but think that she looked happy. The ventilator and bandages were masking most of her features, but he knew her well enough to still be able to read her face. The thought was comforting. If Gabby was happy, that meant she wasn't suffering, she wasn't in pain. If there was anything positive about this situation, it would be that.

"Hey Gabby," Matt said as he placed the flowers and teddy bear down on the nightstand next to the bed and took his seat. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it was Valentine's Day earlier. I'm just so lost right now Gabby. The minutes seem like days, and it's like nothing outside this room is even real. I know it's no excuse.

"I couldn't figure out how to make sure you knew what I felt. I got hung up on the things that were happening and not was really important, and it cost me you. I don't want to fail you again Gabby. I don't, and I need you to know that I didn't miss what today was because I don't know how to express what I feel or don't want to. I didn't realize that it was Valentine's Day because of how much I love you. Because I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world, and seeing you like this, the only thing that matters is how you're doing, not what day it is. Each day is just a day when you could wake up or another day since you got hurt. They don't exist in any other context."

Matt paused. Yes, he felt guilty for almost missing Valentine's Day, for everything really, but this wasn't what he had intended to talk about. All the ways he'd screwed up and how badly she'd gotten hurt weren't what he wanted to focus on. Today was supposed to have been their second Valentine's Day as a couple, their first as an engaged couple, and despite the fact that they weren't technically still a couple, he wanted to focus on what they had been, what he wanted them to be again and even believed they still were.

"You know if you'd asked me a few months ago what I would be doing today, I would have said I'd be spending it with you. I'd be getting you flowers, either roses for the symbolism or lilies because I know how much you love them, and cliché as it is, I'd probably get you some jewelry, but I'd also get you something personal, something that reflects how strong and tough you are, something that reflects how much I love you. I would have taken you out for a romantic dinner, and then we would have gone home and made love well into the night. I want this for us Gabby, next year and every year after that," Matt told her.

"If you'd asked me last week, I would have said I would be spending the day at home, not wanting to venture out and see all the happy couples and be reminded that we should have been one of them. I'd have a six pack or something stronger as I tried to keep my mind off of how much I miss you and how badly I wanted to spending Valentine's Day with the love of my life, with you. Not that that would be too unusual. Until a few days ago, I spent every free moment wishing we were still together and trying to find a distraction. Now I spend every moment hoping you'll be okay.

"I never would have imagined that this is where we would have ended up today though, and while I could never be okay with what happened to you, I will always be glad to get to spend Valentine's Day with the woman I love. I just wish we weren't here and that you were awake and could enjoy tonight with me so if you can hear me, I want you to picture us back at Piccolo Sogno, sitting at the same table where we had our first official date. Wanting to try something different, you've ordered the tortellini primavera, I know you almost got that last time," Matt couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. Gabby had spent the first part of their dinner date waffling between the tortellini and salmon. He had offered to split both with her, but she had insisted he order what he really wanted for dinner. She finally settled on the salmon only because that's what she was leaning towards when the waiter had come to take their order. Of course a couple minutes later she was wondering if she'd made the right decision. Fortunately, it had all turned out fine as she had really liked her meal.

"And I got the short ribs again with a side of broccolini that I know you're going to pick at. They've just brought out our food, and we're enjoying a bottle of wine that you picked out because you were always better at that than me. Your engagement ring is on your finger, and we're talking and laughing as we eat. After the main course we split a bowl of gelato for dessert and then head home. We kicked Severide out for the night so we have the place to ourselves. When we get home, we leave the lights dim, and as we make our way into the living room, I turn the stereo on. With soft, romantic music filling the air, we hold each other close and we just look each other in the eye and dance for a while. I know I'm not a great dancer, and I'm sorry for that, but it's the two of us in each other's arms so you don't really mind. Or if you do, you don't want to say anything. Then with the music still playing, we make our way into our bedroom and have an incredible night. I've lost track of how many times we've made love tonight because I've just been so focused on showing you how much I love you. We've completely worn each other out though, and now as much as we want to, we're too tired to make love again. It's technically early morning though, and given that we have shift tomorrow, it's probably best that we get some sleep anyways. I'm lying there, holding you in my arms, your naked body snuggled into my own, and as I wait for sleep to overtake me, I can't help but think that I must be the luckiest man in the world because you're my girl," feeling forced to come back to reality now that he'd concluded their night, Matt leaned down and kissed Gabby's cheek.

"I hope you enjoyed our date Baby," after a few moments of silence Matt spoke again. "I got you a Valentine's Day gift. It's not much because well you can't really find the perfect gift for the most amazing woman you've ever known in a hospital gift shop, but I did the best I could. I hope you like it. I got you a teddy bear. It's light brown and is wearing a white t-shirt that says "Get Well Soon My Love" in red letters with a light pink heart around it. I got some flowers too. It's pretty colorful and helps cheer up the room. Although not as much as your eyes would. There's some roses and lilies along with aster, tulips, Monte Casino and poms at least according to the description that was with it in the gift shop. I can't really tell. I want to read you the card too. It's really a get well card, but I did my best to turn it into a Valentine's Day Card.

"The card itself says 'Get Well Soon' on the front. There's also flowers on it. On the inside it says 'Wishing you a speedy recovery, lots of rest and relaxation, and better days ahead.' I'm sorry for the get well theme. That was pretty much all they had though, and I really do want you to get better and come back to us, to me, as quickly as possible.

"I tried to write something more appropriate in the card. Let me read it to you. 'Gabby, you are an amazing woman. No matter what's happened between us, my heart still belongs to you, and no matter what directions our lives take, it always will. I can't imagine my life without you so on this Valentine's Day I want you to know that I'm by your side now and forever, and you will always be my Valentine. All my love, Matt'" he paused when he was done reading the card in attempt to fight back the emotion that was about to overtake him. "No matter what comes next, you're not alone Gabby. I'm here. Nothing will ever change that.

"Happy Valentine's Day baby," Matt said as he leaned down to kiss her, a tear falling from his eye.

* * *

Author's Note: If anyone's wondering, Piccolo Sogno is a real restaurant in Chicago. I found it on a list of romantic restaurants in Chicago that I looked at while putting this chapter together and picked it because well, I liked the name. The food Matt and Gabby "had" on their "date" was from the menu on their website too.

That's all for now so until next time please let me know what you thought.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: So who's surprised to see me get another chapter up after only a week? I (unfortunately) am. This chapter is shorter than the last several and what I would normally have liked, which is why I'm able to get it up quicker than normal. It also wasn't originally intended to be its own chapter, but I think it works. As I was reading through what I'd written so far, I realized that a scene that was originally intended to be the middle of the chapter worked really well as the end of a chapter. I couldn't rearrange things though to make it the end - it wouldn't make sense so after giving it some thought, I decided to make everything up to that point its own chapter. This also means that the next chapter will probably also be a little short as well. I know people liked the long chapters, and I'll try to get back to that with chapter 15.

I do want to make sure to thank all my reviewers and those who favorited and/or followed this story after Chapter Twelve. I'm glad so many people are still enjoying this story even though some of the real world stuff can get a little sad.

Here's Chapter Thirteen. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

It had been a week since the accident. It had been the worst week of Matt's life. Worse than the week after his mother killed his father. Worse than the week after Hallie died.

As bad as those weeks were, at least there had been some sort of resolution. He would be going to live with his grandparents. His father was dead, and his mother was going to jail. The only question was how much time she would serve. Hallie was dead. She had been murdered, and the only thing he cared about was finding her killer. Now everything was up in the air. Gabby was alive, and he was so grateful for that. He was, but those two things were practically all that was certain. He desperately held onto the belief that given time, Gabby would recover fully and reclaim her life as if the accident had never happened, but deep down he knew just how unlikely that scenario was, that the questions really were just how much permanent damage there would be and how she'd cope with it. Even Gabby waking up, while still the most likely scenario, wasn't guaranteed. None of it would change how much he loved her though. That was the third and final certainty.

At least during those weeks, he'd known his life had been forever changed. Now he still had hope, but hope was accompanied by days sitting at Gabby's bedside, staring helplessly at the broken and unconscious body of the woman he loved. It was pure torture in a way that the hole in his heart during those weeks hadn't been.

In those weeks he'd lost people he loved. He had loved Hallie, his mother, and even his father, but Gabby was everything to him in a way that no one else ever had been. In a way he doubted anyone else ever could be. As much as those real losses had hurt, the very thought of losing Gabby forever was far more painful.

The sound of the door opening pulled Matt from his thoughts. He turned his head towards it, noticing that Gabby's parents were still asleep on the other side of the bed. Despite the fact that they were in separate chairs, Gabby's mothers head rested in the crook of Gabby's father's neck while his arm wrapped around her shoulders. In many ways the image reminded him of all the times Gabby had fallen asleep against him on the couch. It brought a small smile to his face but also a sense of sadness. He wished that could be him and Gabby right now, just at home and not in a hospital.

"I hope I didn't wake you," Dr. Sanders said as he entered the room. It had to be pretty early. The sun hadn't even started to rise yet.

"You didn't," Matt simply stated. The truth was he hadn't been sleeping much. Between the awkwardness of sleeping in a chair and his constant worry and desperation for Gabby to wake up, he could barely get more than a couple of hours of sleep at a time. He wasn't about to tell that to the doctor though.

Dr. Sanders approached the bed, walking by Gabby's parents. Gabby's father must not have been sleeping too soundly as he started to stir as the man moved past him.

"What's going on?" Gabby's father asked while still half asleep.

"I just got in and thought I would come and check on Gabriella before rounds," Dr. Sanders said.

That got Matt's attention, and he locked eyes with Gabby's now fully alert father, each man seeing his own anxiety reflected in the other's eyes. They had both spent six mornings in this room, and not once had Dr. Sanders or any other doctor come to check on Gabby immediately after starting their shift.

"Is something wrong?" Matt asked.

"No," Dr. Sanders said as he looked at some machines.

"Then why are you here?" Gabby's father questioned him as well.

"As I said I wanted to check on her. Given that it's been a week, I wanted to see how she was doing for myself," Dr. Sanders replied. There was more to it, and he could tell they suspected something, but he didn't want to say anything until he was certain of what was going to happen. "I have to go or I'm going to be late for rounds."

With that the doctor turned around and left the room.

"What do you think that was about?" Gabby's father turned his attention to Matt once it was just the four of them again in Gabby's room.

"I don't know. I just hope he was being sincere," Matt admitted, hoping that the sinking feeling in his stomach was nothing more than paranoia.

* * *

A nurse had kicked them out of Gabby's room about fifteen minutes ago so that she could bathe Gabby. Matt had wanted to protest and argue that it wasn't any reason for him to leave. After all, he'd seem Gabby naked so many times that he'd long since committed every inch of her body to memory. Two things had stopped him though. First, he was a little afraid to see all the bandages and stiches that were undoubtedly beneath her hospital gown. It was hard enough looking at the ones that were visible. He didn't really need any more reminders of just how badly she'd been hurt. He hoped he'd get to see the scars someday but when Gabby would be awake and in their home. He would gladly see them every day for the rest of his life just not today, not under these circumstances. The second reason was the fact that her parents were there; admitting it in front of them would be too embarrassing. He knew that they had to know that he had seen their daughter naked. After all, he and Gabby had lived together and been engaged. Had he been in their shoes, he would have been more surprised to learn that his daughter and her fiancée weren't undressing each other and having sex than that they were. It didn't do anything to stem his embarrassment though. Knowing something and wanting to hear about it were two very different things.

That thought had been a nice distraction though. The thought of being in their shoes. Not in terms of having a daughter in a coma, having spent the past week with them he was pretty sure that was just as bad as having the love of your life in a coma, but in terms of having a daughter in the first place. Because he still believed with all his heart that if he ever had a daughter, Gabby would be her mother so if he ever had a daughter, it would mean that Gabby had pulled through this and they'd had the future that they'd been planning before their relationship fell apart. It was easy to picture. A little girl who looked just like her mother smiling as she ran up to him and called him Daddy while Gabby stood at his side, beaming proudly. She was going to be an amazing mother someday. He'd seen it when he watched her with that baby girl during their last shift before the accident. She'd been a natural. The two of them with a baby had felt natural. The time he'd spent helping her take care of the baby had been the highlight of the past few months even if he'd tried and failed to keep thoughts of the family he wanted to have with her at the back of his mind because it hurt too much. It was hard to believe that was only eight days ago. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Now sitting in the cafeteria with Gabby's parents, Matt was spending far more time staring at his toast than attempting to eat it. Dr. Sanders's visit from early that morning was replaying constantly in his mind, and he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than the doctor had been willing to admit. The thought both terrified and excited him. If Dr. Sanders visit had been because Gabby was getting worse, well, he didn't think he could handle more bad news about her condition, but if it was because she was getting better, then she might be coming back to them. He would give anything for her to come back to them.

He'd only managed to take two bites of his toast and one sip of his coffee when Gabby's mother spoke.

"When do you think we'll be able to go back?" Gabby's mother asked once she had finished her omelet.

"We could go up now, and see if they'll let us into her room," Matt suggested.

"That's a good idea," Gabby's father said, having been the first one to finish eating.

"Matt, take your breakfast with you," Gabby's mother said as she stood up.

Matt just sighed. He would have been perfectly fine not trying to eat anymore, but he didn't have it in him to protest. Besides in a way he was grateful for how she kept trying to get him to eat more because it meant that Gabby's mother still cared about him, and if she still cared about him, then she was less likely to object when he and Gabby were back together.

When they got back to Gabby's room, the nurse was just leaving, allowing them to go back in. They had only been in the room for a few minutes when Dr. Sanders came in. He was accompanied by a woman. She was wearing scrubs and was clearly another doctor, a fact that made everyone in the room nervous.

"Good morning," Dr. Sanders greeted them.

"Hi," Matt said wearily.

"Morning," Gabby's mother replied, clearly not thinking it was a good morning.

"Who's that?" Gabby's father asked the question that was on everyone's minds.

"This is Dr. Weiss. She's the orthopedic surgeon assigned to your daughter's case. She was in the OR when Gabriella was first operated on last week and has reviewed all the scans. As you know we weren't able to spend much time repairing her broken bones when she was first in surgery because she had more life-threatening injuries and was not very stable. However, she's made a lot of progress over the past week, and at this point, she's stable so with your permission, we'd like to take her back to surgery this morning in order to try to address the damage to her pelvis and leg," Dr. Sanders explained. "I'll leave you with Dr. Weiss to go over the procedure."

After Dr. Sanders left the room, Dr. Weiss explained the operation. Gabby's injuries required open reduction and internal fixation surgery. Her latest x-rays showed that her bones had started to try to heal on their own, but they were not healing properly so it was important to get her back into the OR as quickly as possible in order to minimize the chance of permanent damage. Her pelvis required a bone graft as well as several screws and metal plates. Screws would also be placed in her left femur along with a metal rod. Depending on how well her bones healed, they may be able to remove some of the screws at some point, but the most of them would be permanent.

"What are the risks?" Gabby's father asked once the surgeon had finished explaining what she was going to do.

"There is a chance of complication with any surgery, but you should know that complications from bone fracture repairs are very rare," Dr. Weiss began. "That said risks include having a bad reaction to the anesthesia, blood clots, internal bleeding, post-op infections, and even death. The risk of internal bleeding is a big part of why we didn't want to address the severe fractures during Ms. Dawson's initial operation. However, she's made a lot of progress over the past week –"

"A lot of progress. She's in a coma," Matt couldn't help but interject.

"Obviously she still has a long way to go, and I'm sure we'd all feel better, us as her doctors and you as her family, if she had woken up by now, but physically she is doing a lot better. A week ago she was barely alive, and now she's stable. With the exception of the seizure she had six days ago, she hasn't had any sort of incident that would make us think her life was still in danger. The point I'm trying to make is that at this point, we don't think there's any reason to believe she's at a greater risk of surgical complications than someone who hadn't been in such a severe car accident. If we did, we would not even consider taking her back into the OR," Dr. Weiss explained.

"What are the chances she'll walk again?" Gabby's mother sounded a little frightened.

"Her spinal cord itself was not damaged so she is not paralyzed, and there is no reason to believe she won't walk again. However, it's too soon to know whether or not she'll regain her full mobility. We won't know the exact odds until Ms. Dawson starts physical therapy, but based on the extent and type of her injuries, I would say there is at least a fifty percent chance that she will have some physical limitations. Even if she is physically capable of moving as if the accident never happened, it's highly unlikely that at least some movements won't cause pain," Dr. Weiss answered before pausing to see if there were any more questions. When she didn't get any, she spoke again, addressing just Gabby's parents this time. "If you have any objections to the surgery, let me know now. If not, I'll have a nurse bring in the consent forms."

"No objections," Gabby's father said while her mother just nodded.

Matt wanted to feel insulted by the fact that he wasn't part of the decision, but he couldn't. He knew that even if they were still engaged, it would technically be Gabby's parents' decision even if he had hoped his opinion would have mattered here. Besides, he agreed with the decision and knew that it's what Gabby would have wanted even though some of the risks, no matter how unlikely, terrified him.

"Okay. I have an OR booked for a little less than an hour from now. We'll start prepping her in about half an hour. You can stay with her until then," Dr. Weiss said.

"Don't let her die," Matt warned the surgeon before she left the room. As much as he didn't want Gabby to face anything more than what she already was, Matt knew that he at least could handle any other outcome as long as Gabby survived. He may not like it, he may think Gabby deserved better, but he could handle it. All he really needed was to have her alive, awake, and back in his arms.

* * *

"Since it's going to be a while, maybe we should go home, try to get some real sleep," Gabby's mother suggested as she stood outside Gabby's hospital room with Gabby's father and Matt. The hospital staff had just started prepping Gabby for surgery.

"That sounds like a good idea," Gabby's father said. Like Matt, Gabby's parents hadn't left the hospital since arriving the day of the accident. They needed to be where their daughter was, but living in a hospital was rough. They hadn't had a good night's sleep or a decent meal or even brushed their teeth since the accident. They couldn't keep living like this, and now seemed like a good time to take care of themselves without taking away from the time they could be spending with their daughter.

"You too Matt," Gabby's mother tried to instruct him.

"I'm good staying here," Matt replied as he leaned against the wall next to Gabby's hospital room. He had no intention of leaving this spot. From here he would be able to get another glimpse of Gabby as they took her to the OR. Besides while his head knew that going home wasn't a terrible idea, his heart didn't care. He needed to be in the same building as Gabby. It was comforting to know she wasn't that far from him.

Gabby's mother just nodded, knowing that there was no point in pushing him if he wasn't ready so instead of trying to force him to listen to her, she hugged him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Take care of yourself. We'll be back later with Antonio," Gabby's mother told him. With that Gabby's parents turned and headed out of the hospital.

"I'm really worried about Matt. I think he's taking this worse than we are," Gabby's mother said once she and Gabby's father were in the car on the way to their house. Even though they were rarely in Chicago anymore, only spending six weeks in the city during the summer and making a handful of short trips during the rest of the year, they still owned the house they'd raised their children in. When they'd first grown tired of the Chicago winters and moved to the Dominican Republic, they'd talked about selling the house or at least renting it out, but in the end, they hadn't liked the idea of someone else living in their home.

"I know. He's clearly not coping well," Gabby's father replied. "You know when we first got to the hospital and then when Antonio asked him to come with us to see her, I wasn't sure how to feel about him. I knew he had loved her, but I didn't know if he still did, and she's been so heartbroken about their break up. Why would I want someone whose caused our little girl so much pain around her? I didn't argue though because I know she still loves him and that it would mean a lot to her to have him there. I figured Antonio knows more about the situation than we do and that maybe having him there would help her. After seeing him this past week though, it's clear that our little girl is the center of his world and that he belongs at her side just as much as we do."

They drove in silence the rest of the way home, both of them too lost in their own thoughts and fears to say anything else. When they got home, Gabby's father turned the heat on and they headed to their bedroom.

"I think I'm going to take a shower," Gabby's father said. Living in Gabby's hospital room had meant that neither of them had showered since before they'd left the Dominican.

"Okay. I think I need to try to get some real rest," Gabby's mother said as she got into bed.

Only she couldn't sleep. Half an hour after her husband had finished his shower and joined her, she was still just lying there, staring at the ceiling. Feeling restless she finally decided to get out of bed. Without really thinking about where she was going, she made her way to Gabby's childhood bedroom.

At first she simply stood in the doorway, taking the room in. It still looked the same as it did when Gabby had officially moved out of the house. The walls were still painted light blue. The bedding she'd gotten for Christmas when she was an eight-year-old tomboy and had insisted that the Disney princesses theme of her bedroom was too girly was still on the bed. The books, pictures, and mementos from her teenage years still lined the bookshelf and wall, and Trevor still sat on the chair in the corner.

Trevor was the stuffed giraffe that Antonio had gotten Gabby for her second birthday. Antonio had been so proud that he'd used his own allowance to buy his little sister a birthday gift, and Gabby had loved Trevor, or Twewor as she'd initially called him, like no other gift she'd ever been given. The giraffe had instantly become her new best friend. Although to this day Gabby's mother had no idea where the name Trevor had come from. As Gabby got older she stopped taking Trevor everywhere she went, but she had never been willing to part with him. She and Gabby's father had tried to give Trevor to Gabby's cousin when she had her first child and then to Eva. Gabby had refused to let them, insisting that she was saving Trevor for her own kids, but Gabby's mother suspected that even as a teenager and young adult, Gabby was still attached to her toy giraffe.

After a few minutes, Gabby's mother slowly walked into the room. She took Trevor from the chair and then climbed into Gabby's childhood bed. Curled up under the covers with Trevor in her arms and her daughter's memories all around her, she was finally able to fall asleep.

* * *

Author's Note: So what do you think? Did I make the right decision cutting it here so I could end with Gabby's mother in her old bedroom?


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: So don't ever believe me when I say I think the next chapter might be short. I am apparently incapable of accurately predicting how long a chapter is going to be and always seem to underestimate how my ideas will translate into words. Plus there's often one or two ideas that pop once I actually start writing. This now surpasses Chapter Twelve as the longest chapter I've written. I thought about breaking this up, but since I was told after that chapter that long chapters were okay, I decided not to. That said, if I ever do reach a point where things are just too long, let me know.

Anyways, with this chapter I've officially written over 100 pages for this story (110 to be precise), which just blows my mind. When I first started this, I'm not sure I could even imagine getting this far. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed, and favorited this story so far as well as everyone else who popped in to read it and kept coming back. I don't think I would have been able to do this without you. It means a lot to me to know that people seem to be enjoying this crazy, convoluted, sad idea that I had. I hope you'll stick around and enjoy the next 100+ pages (or however long this winds up being).

Now onto Chapter Fourteen. Please leave a review to let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

The hospital staff had decided to use the time Gabby was in surgery to clean her room so Matt wound up pacing in the hall outside the ICU while he waited, which is where Severide found him when he arrived at the hospital later that morning.

Unlike in the immediate aftermath of the accident, the members of Firehouse 51 were no longer spending all their free time camped out at the hospital. As much as they were all worried about Dawson and wanted to support Casey, Antonio, and her parents, they hadn't yet actually been allowed to see her, and Casey along with Gabby's family had understandably all but locked themselves in her hospital room so they had slowly gone back to their own lives over the past week. It's not that didn't still stop by, but it was generally only a few at a time and they would only stay for a little while instead of being there constantly if they weren't on shift. Severide though still tried to stop by every day for two reasons. He knew that Shay would want him to check on Dawson, and he was really worried about his best friend and roommate.

"Dawson's parents or Antonio want some time alone with her?" Severide asked, surprised to see Casey outside the ICU doors.

"No," Matt simply answered.

"Then why are you out here, and where is everyone?" Severide followed up. He had no idea what was going on.

"Gabby's back in surgery," Matt told him.

"Is everything okay?" Severide was slightly alarmed. Given the way Casey was pacing, it seemed entirely possible that Dawson had taken a turn for the worse.

"Yeah. She's doing well enough that they finally feel comfortable setting her leg and pelvis," Matt replied, leaving out the fact that they didn't know how much damage had been done by her injuries themselves and how long they had to wait to fix them.

"That's great, man. Where are her parents and Antonio? In the waiting room?"

"Once we found out that she would be having surgery this morning, Gabby's mom called Antonio and told him not to come by until later. Didn't see any point in him coming here just to sit around and wait for her to get out of the OR, and Gabby's parents actually went home," Matt didn't understand how they could have left, how they could be okay not being near Gabby, how they could risk not being here if something, good or bad, happened.

"Back to the Dominican?" Severide doubted he'd heard right.

"No. Their house here in Chicago. They seemed to think it would be good for them to get out of the hospital for a while," Matt clarified.

"Sounds like a good idea. I'm sure you could use a break from this place," Severide said.

Matt just glared at him though.

"What? No offense man but you smell. When was the last time you showered?" Severide informed him.

"Before Gabby got hurt. There's nowhere to shower here," Matt replied.

"Maybe you should go home for a bit to shower and change. Get out of that Hawaiian shirt; it's getting a little old," Severide suggested.

"No," Matt disagreed.

"Do you really want Dawson to see you like this?" Severide tried a different tactic.

"I can't leave," there was a hint of fear in his voice.

One of the ICU nurses walked by on her way back from a break, overhearing the conversation.

"I hope you don't mind my butting in, but you should be able to use the shower in your fiancée's room," the nurse couldn't help but interject.

"Thanks," Matt said before turning his attention to Severide. As much as leaving the hospital wasn't an option, his roommate did have a point about looking his best for Gabby. "Would you mind getting some stuff for me from home?"

"Sure. I'll head over there once Dawson is out of surgery," Severide offered, thinking it might be best to not leave Casey alone. "Let's go to the waiting room instead of just standing around here."

Matt followed Severide, and the two men took a seat before Severide spoke again.

"So what do you want me to get you?" he asked.

"Soap, shampoo, and a towel for when I shower. Clothes, probably several days' worth. Hopefully, it won't take Gabby that long to wake up but just in case. Shaving cream and a razor; I've definitely got a beard at this point. Tooth brush and tooth paste. Any other toiletries you think I would need," Matt listed off the essentials.

"Like deodorant?" Severide asked.

"Yeah, that would be good," Matt replied.

"I can do that," Severide said.

"Thanks. There's one more thing," Matt added, suddenly needing to have one thing close.

"Of course," Severide told him.

"In the top right drawer of my dresser is Gabby's engagement ring. There's nothing else in the drawer so it should be easy to find," Matt's voice cracked as he spoke. He couldn't help but think that the ring should be on her finger and not in a drawer that once housed many of her unmentionables, that should still house many of her unmentionables.

"Sure," Severide wasn't really sure what else to say to that request.

The two men sat in silence for nearly half an hour. Severide didn't know how to best comfort his friend, and Matt wasn't really in the mood for conversation, his thoughts constantly on Gabby. He needed to say something though so ultimately he did.

"Do you remember Gabby's first day at 51?" he asked almost wistfully.

"Not really," Severide answered.

"I remember everything about it," Matt stated. He couldn't help but smile at the memory. "She was so amazing and adorable. The first time I ever saw her she was standing at the front of the briefing room with Chief Boden. She was clearly the new PIC, but that's not what caught my eye. She was leaning against the board, chewing her lip nervously. It was one of the cutest things I'd ever seen.

"We got called to a massive fire that morning. The scene was pretty gruesome, and I know you have to be able to handle that sort of thing to be able to do this job, but still, she was just incredible. The way she just took charge of all the different ambulances that had responded, you'd think she had been a PIC for years, and the way she was with the victims, you could tell just how much she cares.

"Back at the house, she wound up making lunch. Butternut squash soup. I'd never really liked soup, but I could eat that every day."

"Maybe because it reminds you of Dawson," Severide interrupted.

"Maybe," Matt agreed. "That's not really the point though. We were watching TV, and I turned around at one point. Gabby was in the kitchen, biting her lip nervously again, and muttering something in Spanish. I went over there to see what was going on. Turns out she couldn't find anything in the kitchen and had been trying to get our attention, but we hadn't heard her. She was annoyed with all of us, and it was the first time I realized just how fiery she is. There was something about her. I don't know exactly what it was, but I couldn't take my eyes off her so after showing her where things were, I stuck around and we chatted while she cooked. The conversation wasn't too deep. We've had a lot more meaningful conversations over the years, even before we got together. We mostly just talked about things like what 51 was like, what her old house was like, but still it was one of the easiest conversations I'd ever had. Gabby and I just clicked.

"I always looked forward to getting to shift and seeing her, and then I started making up excuses to spend time with her. Gabby had found out I was studying for the lieutenant's exam so I told her I needed help even though I didn't. We spent hours going over things. Gabby had a real knack for it. I should have known she would wind up becoming a firefighter. You know part of me was disappointed when I passed the exam. I figured I was going to have to leave 51, and I'd never see her again, at least not like I had been. Then Lt. Russell announced his retirement a few days later, and I wound up getting his spot and staying. I was so relieved.

"Maybe there was already something more than friendship between us back then. I don't know. I remember talking with her and watching her move around the kitchen that first day and thinking if only I were single. I pushed it to the back of my mind though because I did love Hallie. Maybe not as much as I love Gabby, but I did love her and we were happy back then. It makes it harder to figure out what I really felt for Gabby at first. I do know my life changed for the better the day Gabby showed up at 51 though. She's part of most of my best memories, even the ones from when I was still with Hallie."

"You know I remember shortly after she started, you and Andy were convinced I was going to try to sleep with her," Severide started.

"She's a beautiful woman. That was really all you needed," Matt interjected.

"You guys told me not to even think about it," Severide ignored the interruption. "That we were going to be working with her and it would just make things awkward for all of us and I should be respectful. I was a little offended that you guys thought I wasn't respectful of woman or her in particular. It's not like I was making catcalls at her or talking about her like she was just some piece of meat. Was I?"

"No," Matt replied, wondering where this was going.

"Didn't think so, and I don't even think that was the issue anymore. The idea that I might make a move on her and she might accept made you jealous, didn't it?" Severide asked.

"You're not Gabby's type. She wouldn't have accepted," Matt informed his friend.

"You didn't know that back then though, did you?" Severide replied.

"No. If I'm honest, I was never really happy every time I found out she had a boyfriend, and I was secretly glad every time I found out the relationship hadn't worked out," Matt admitted. "It's not that I didn't want her to be happy. It's just…I don't know. As for back then, well, it would have been awkward afterwards, but more than that Gabby deserved better than a one night stand or a quick fling, which is all it would have been. That's what you were always doing, and no offense, but I'm pretty sure you weren't capable of anything more serious back then."

"She deserves what she has with you," Severide suggested, using the present tense because he knew that as long as Dawson made it through this, she and Casey were probably not really over and in Casey's mind, they definitely weren't over.

"No. Gabby deserves better than me. If I really deserved her, I never would have let things get so bad between us in the first place. I just love her too much to let that stop me from getting her back," Matt said.

* * *

Matt walked back into the ICU, positioning himself near the hallway where he'd last seen Gabby. Dr. Weiss had come to see him a minute ago to let him know that Gabby's surgery was over. The damage from how her bones had started to try to heal was a little worse than what they'd seen on her latest x-rays, but overall, the operation had gone really well. She would be back in her room in ten to fifteen minutes, and in the meanwhile, he was welcome to head back into her room and wait. Severide had taken that as his queue to leave, promising to be back soon with Matt's things. Not wanting to be away from Gabby for even a second longer than he had to, Matt had decided to go where he could meet the gurney carrying Gabby instead of her room, figuring that was close enough to what the surgeon had said.

His heart swelled the moment he got his first glimpse of her. Even like this she was still so beautiful and perfect. She was the love of his life, his reason for living, and all those other clichés; he couldn't imagine catching sight of her ever not having this effect on him.

"Hey baby," he said as he joined Gabby and the medical staff that were bringing her back to her room. "I hear you did great in there."

He wanted to lean down and kiss her, but they just kept moving. He would do it once he was alone with her in her room. Once they walked into the room, one of the nurses locked her bed in place, and then they started hooking Gabby back up to all those machines. Despite having seen the machines for a week, Matt's heart still broke a little as he watched. Gabby was the last person in the world who should ever need them.

"Are the Dawson's here or is it just you Mr. Casey?" Dr. Sanders asked once Gabby was situated.

"Just me. Her parents and brother will be back later," Matt replied.

"I know Dr. Weiss talked to you about how the surgery went. I wanted to reiterate that we're all very pleased with how it went and also talk to you all about what happens next," Dr. Sanders told him. "Do you know when they'll be back?"

"Not specifically. It'll be sometime this afternoon though. I promise I'll tell them everything when they get here, and they'll let you know if they have any questions. Can you tell me now?" Matt replied nervously. What happened next should be Gabby waking up, but if they were having a conversation about it, that clearly wasn't what the doctor thought was next. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what the doctor was going to say, but he needed to know and waiting was just going to make him worry.

Matt had been debating whether or not he should call Gabby's parents from the moment he was told that Gabby was out of surgery. They hadn't said anything about wanting to be called even after they knew he would be staying, and he was always open to time alone with Gabby so he had been leaning against it. If Dr. Sanders wouldn't talk to him though, he would call them the moment the man left the room.

Meanwhile Dr. Sanders examined the man. He would always prefer to give the news to family (and only once), but as Gabriella's fiancée, Mr. Casey practically counted, and Mrs. Dawson had made clear that anything he needed to say to her and her husband could also be said to the young man. Plus, the man looked distraught and like he couldn't bear to wait another minute to find out what was going on so in the end he decided to give the man the information he wanted.

"Okay," the doctor began. "Because she just got out of surgery, we want to leave her on the ventilator for now. It'll take some of the post-op stress off her body, but if she continues to do as well as she has over the past few days, we'll take her off the vent tomorrow."

"Even if she's still the coma?" Matt asked. "I thought you guys wanted to wait until she was awake."

"That's always ideal, but she doesn't need it to breathe so at some point we need to get her off of it," Dr. Sanders told him.

"You don't think she's going to wake up then?" Matt felt deflated.

"There's no reason to believe she won't, but there's also no way to know when. Her condition hasn't changed. She's still registering exactly where she was on the Glasgow Coma Scale when he tested her for the first time five days ago. I don't want to leave her hooked up to a machine she doesn't actually need indefinitely. Staying on the vent too long can have its own consequences. I'm sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear," Dr. Sanders said sympathetically. After seeing them at her side and the clearly devastated expressions on their faces for the past week, he felt awful for the young woman's family.

Matt just nodded, not really sure what to say or feel. Should he be relieved that she wasn't getting worse or terrified that she wasn't getting better?

"And as long as she recovers from the surgery okay, we'd like to move her out of the ICU by the end of the week," Dr. Sanders added.

"She's still in a coma," Matt was confused.

"I know, but that in itself does not require intensive care. We'll be just as capable of taking her on a regular medical floor as we are here. It's a good thing Mr. Casey. It means that in every other regard, she's getting better," Dr. Sanders tried to reassure him.

"I just want her to wake up," Matt said to no one in particular.

"I get it," Dr. Sanders said. "I'll give you your privacy. Let a nurse know if you need anything."

Once he was alone with Gabby, Matt was glad to finally have the chance to kiss her. He moved towards her side, and once he was there, pulled his chair as close to the bed as possible.

"I love you so much Gabby," he said as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. He then stroked her hair and cheek, careful to avoid disturbing the bandages that were still there before taking her hand in his and kissing it as he took his seat. He had lost track of how many times he had repeated this ritual, but it was somehow comforting to repeat it every time he returned to Gabby's side. It didn't even phase him that Gabby's parents and Antonio had seen this expression of his love for her countless times and had begun to expect it days ago.

"I've been told I smell pretty terrible. I don't know if you can smell anything, but if you can, I'm sorry Gabby. I hope it's not keeping you from waking up," Matt told her. "I won't smell like this much longer. I promise. Severide's bringing a bunch of my things from home, and something that belongs to you. It's a surprise, but I hope you'll like having it here. Anyways, once he gets here, I'll be able to shower and make myself presentable for you. I'd rather shower with you though. We used to have a lot of fun in there, didn't we?"

Normally a comment like that would have made Gabby blush. Even if it was just the two of them in the privacy of their bedroom, her cheeks would turn a deep shade of crimson. These weren't normal circumstances though, and the color in Gabby's face didn't change one bit. Even though he hadn't really been expected it to, Matt was still devastated.

"I don't know if you can hear me baby, but I really hope you can. If you can, please give me a sign. Something, anything to let me know that you're still here and you'll be alright," he begged.

Matt spent the next few minutes staring intently at Gabby and squeezing her hand. He was searching desperately for Gabby's response and tuning everything else out. He didn't even hear it when the door opened.

"Case," Severide's voice startled him and pulled his attention away from Gabby. This was pretty much the last thing he was expecting. He figured Severide would hand his stuff off to a nurse who would then bring it to him. After all, as of this morning, not counting hospital staff he, Antonio, and Gabby's parents were still the only ones allowed in Gabby's room. He supposed Eva and Diego were too if they were with Antonio, but they had been with their mother since their visit last week so they hadn't been back.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, confusion evident in his voice.

"They said it was okay if I came back here, and I brought your things," Severide explained. He was trying his best not to react to how bad Dawson looked. Lying in that bed she looked so small and weak compared to the woman he'd known for years. He'd had to fight to hold back a gasp the moment he'd first laid eyes on her, figuring it wouldn't do anyone any good.

"Everything in there?" Matt asked as he eyed the duffel bag Severide was holding.

"Yup," Severide replied.

"Even the you know what?" Matt questioned.

"Yes. It was exactly where you said it would be. Not hard to find at all," Severide wondered why Matt hadn't actually said the word ring.

"Thanks Sev," Matt said as he got up and took the bag. "Would you mind staying with Gabby? I don't want her to be alone if she wakes up."

"Of course," Severide told him. "Anything you need."

"Just don't tell her what I had you bring. It's a surprise," Matt instructed.

Severide just chuckled in response.

Matt walked into the bathroom, and for the first time in a week took a good look at himself in the mirror. He almost didn't recognize himself. Not only did he have an almost fully grown beard, but his eyes were red and puffy from all the tears he'd shed. The lack of sleep had left dark circles under his eyes, and look of pure joy that just the thought of Gabby normally brought to his face was replaced by a look of sadness and fear. It was almost like looking a stranger. He wished he was looking at a stranger, that this wasn't what his life had become.

As he took out the shaving cream and razor, he heard Severide speak.

"Hey Dawson. It's good to see you. Okay not really. I'd rather see you anywhere but here," his friend's voice came through the bathroom door. "51 hasn't been the same all week. The interim chief is a dick, it took all of a few hours for everyone to see that, and Tommy Welch lost his bugle after the truck crash a few months ago and is doing relief duty on my squad."

Matt felt his blood boil at the mention of that man's name. Welch had no right to be anywhere near 51 and the people he and Gabby cared about. Not just because the man's reckless behavior could have gotten them all killed when 66 and 81 collided, but because of everything he had done to Gabby. She deserved so much better than the way he treated her when she was going to be assigned to him and the way he forced her off of 66 at the last minute. Hell, Welch was partly responsible for Gabby being in here. He may not have wanted Gabby to have to work for that pig, but if she had things would be different. If Welch hadn't done everything he could to keep her out of Austin, Gabby would never have wound up on 81. If she hadn't been on 81, they wouldn't have struggled to separate work and home, and they wouldn't have fallen apart. Matt truly believed that if he and Gabby hadn't broken up, she would have been with him that night either at home or at the luau instead of at that damn intersection, and none of this would be happening.

"I'm pretty sure everyone just wants to punch him, but no one has the energy," Severide continued. "Without you and Casey and Boden it's like something is missing. The house is filled with almost the same sadness it had after Andy and Shay. Everyone is walking around like zombies, waiting for news on you and worried that it won't be good. I don't think the house could handle losing somebody else," Severide continued.

"Casey definitely couldn't handle it. Even a blind person could see how much he loves you, and he's already having such a hard time dealing with this. In all the years I've known Casey, I don't think I've ever seen him quite like this. He's really bad Dawson. You remember how much of a wreck he was after Hallie died and how much of a wreck I was after we lost Shay? Combine the two and that's almost as bad as he's doing. I know you don't want that for him."

Not wanting to hear any more about how he wasn't coping with what was happening to Gabby, Matt turned the shower on and got in, hoping the water would block out Severide's words. How could anyone expect him to be doing anything less than terrible? Gabby was the love of his life and the best thing that had ever happened to him. There was no way he could ever be okay while she was like this.

* * *

"Well you look and smell much better," Severide said when Matt emerged from the bathroom.

"Thanks. I didn't realize how much I needed that," Matt told him.

"Anytime. Well, hopefully you won't need stuff again, but if you do, just let me know what you want me to bring," Severide replied.

"I know. Thank you. Not just for my stuff but for being here. I really appreciate your support, and I know Gabby does too," Matt normally didn't get emotional, but for some reason he felt compelled to make sure Severide knew that. Maybe it was because he'd heard just how worried about him Severide was or maybe it was because the words had reminded him of just how worried he'd been about both Severide and Gabby after Shay's death. Didn't matter that the circumstances weren't the same. Gabby wasn't dead. She wasn't going to die, but it made him want to reach out to his best friend.

"Sure thing. You two lovebirds want some time alone?" Severide asked.

"If you don't mind," Matt felt a little selfish. He'd been practically glued to Gabby's side for the past week while this was the first time one of their friends had been allowed anywhere near her. Still, he didn't know when her parents and Antonio would be back. He wanted some private time with her to once again try to make sure she knew just how much he loved her and to give her back her ring or at least let her know it was here and waiting for her. He hadn't yet figured out if it was actually appropriate for him to just put it back on her finger even though as far as he was concerned that was where it belonged.

"Nope. I'll see you later man. Hope you're doing better next time Dawson," Severide said before making his way out of the room.

Matt moved towards Gabby, kissing her cheek and repeating the rest of his ritual before taking his seat. He was really looking forward to being able to kiss her on the lips once she was off the ventilator tomorrow even if she still wasn't able to kiss him back.

"No beard. More like what you're used to, isn't it baby? I hope you didn't mind it too much. I just couldn't bear the thought of leaving you," Matt began. "Severide's visit was nice, wasn't it? I know I kicked him out, but I don't really want to share you. If they let him back here, then maybe I'm going to start having to. Not just with your family but with the rest of your friends. I know that would be a good thing because it means you're doing better. I just want as much time with you as possible."

"I see they let Severide in here," Antonio's voice filled the room as the door the opened.

"Yeah," Matt simply stated. He couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. There was so much more he wanted to tell Gabby, and now he'd have to wait.

"You wound up going home after all," Gabby's father said once he'd entered the room and laid eyes on Matt.

"No," Matt replied, not sure what had given Gabby's father that idea.

"Then where did the clothes come from and the beard go?" Gabby's father referenced the change in Matt's appearance.

"Oh that," Matt finally realized where the man was coming from. "Severide brought a bunch of my things. They said I could use the bathroom in here."

"It's good that you're doing something to take care of yourself," Gabby's mother said.

"I guess," Matt said.

Taking a closer look at Gabby's mother was holding a stuffed giraffe. He'd never seen it before, but it didn't look like she had gotten it from the gift shop or recently.

"What's that?" a confused Matt asked.

"This is Trevor," Gabby's mother said as if that explained everything. It didn't though. Seeing that Matt still looked confused she added. "Gabby never told you about him?"

"I'm not surprised. She's probably a little embarrassed to still love that thing," Antonio interjected as Matt shook his head. "You hear that Gabby. Matt's going to start hearing more embarrassing stories about you if you don't wake up."

"He was Gabby's favorite toy when she was a child. I thought having him here might help," Gabby's mother explained.

"We'll tell you all about him. Just tell us how the surgery went first," Antonio said as the three Dawson's took their seats.

So Matt relayed everything that Dr. Sanders and Dr. Weiss had told him earlier, and then Gabby's parents and Antonio told Matt the history of Gabby and Trevor. All the while the four of them kept an eye on Gabby, hoping to see some positive sign.

* * *

 _Gabby walked into the apartment carrying groceries. She was supposed to meet Shay at the movies in the afternoon, but now that her errands were done, she was looking forward to having some lazy time at home. A nice, long bath sounded amazing right now. It's just too bad Matt wasn't here to share it with her. He was stuck at the Cosgrove's again, and she was getting annoyed. Not with him but with the couple; she wished he'd never taken the job when they approached him about renovating their new house. It wasn't his fault though. He hadn't expected them to be so demanding and the job to take up so much of his time any more than she had. At least they paid him more every time they added something or made him redo something because they had changed their mind or tried to insist he stay late because despite all the changes, they didn't want to add to the timeline. Still she'd rather have more time with her fiancée than the money. Matt had gotten better about pushing back over the last few weeks, but the first couple of weeks had been pretty rough._

 _Opening the fridge to put the milk and yogurt away, Gabby was surprised to see Matt's lunch still sitting on the top shelf. He almost never forgot it. The fact that he did gave her an idea though. Forget the bath; she'd go have lunch with Matt. He was going to have to eat anyways so it shouldn't be too much of a distraction._

 _A little over an hour later Gabby pulled up in front of the Cosgrove's new house, glad she'd been able to find the address in some of Matt's papers. She'd never been here before. Carrying Matt's lunch and her own, she made her way into the house and wandered around until she found Matt in what she presumed was the family room._

 _Matt was hanging drywall, and Gabby couldn't help but stop in the doorway to admire the view. As far as she was concerned Matt always looked hot, but she rarely got to see him like this and there was something about it that she just found extra sexy even if she was seeing it from behind. Matt's skin glistened with sweat, and she could see the muscles in his back rise and contract through his t-shirt as he worked._

 _Finally, Matt turned so he could grab something out of his toolbox, allowing him to catch sight of her out of the corner of his eye. Instead of picking up what he was reaching for, he put everything down and turned around to face her._

" _Gabby," Matt's face lit up as he spoke. "What are you doing here?"_

" _I brought lunch," she held the bag up as she walked into the room._

" _Thanks, but I have my lunch. You're welcome to stay for a bit though," Matt said as he started searching his things for his lunch. A frown formed on his face when he didn't see it._

" _No you don't," Gabby couldn't help but laugh a little. "I found it when I was putting groceries away earlier. Figured it was a good excuse to have lunch together so I brought something for myself too."_

" _I like the way you think. Have a seat," Matt told her as he took the bag from her._

 _Before Gabby could say anything else, a pair of voices filled the house._

" _I'm telling you, it'll look great," a woman's voice said. Matt rolled his eyes. This was clearly Mrs. Cosgrove and it seemed she wanted to make another change._

" _I don't see the point. What's wrong with an ordinary wall? You've got to stop watching these home decorating shows Brooke. It's getting to be too much," a male voice said._

 _Gabby froze at the sound of that voice. It brought back memories she didn't want to relive. Being thrown against the wall in the back room at Molly's. A hand sliding up her shirt. The voice, that voice, calling her hot stuff._

" _You okay Gabby?" Matt noticed a change in her demeanor._

" _That man," she replied quietly._

" _Jared Cosgrove?" Matt was confused._

" _I recognize his voice. I – I think it's him Matt," her voice was shaky as she spoke._

 _Matt must have known exactly what she meant because he wrapped his arm her protectively while also positioning himself slightly in front of her, letting her know that there was no way he would let anything happen to her. Not that she thought something would happen here. Her attacker was here with his wife after all. Still the gesture was comforting, and she knew that was why Matt did it._

" _Don't you think a row of built-ins would be perfect along that wall?" Mrs. Cosgrove pointed behind Matt and Gabby as she and her husband entered the room._

 _Looking at him, there was no doubt in Gabby's mind that this was the man who tried forcing himself on her that night. He was on crutches with his right foot in a cast. She must have actually managed to break a few toes. The realization made her smile a little inside. It didn't stop her from tensing though as their eyes met._

 _Matt must have felt her tense because he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and pulled her closer. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed his face instantly shift into an expression she'd never seen in all the years she'd known him. If looks could kill, she was pretty sure Jared Cosgrove would be dead right now._

 _Meanwhile the man must remember more from that night than she would have guessed as a look of shock and recognition settled on his face._

" _What happened to your foot?" Matt ignored the woman's question and instead addressed her husband. Gabby could hear the anger in his voice. She wondered if the Cosgrove's could hear it too._

" _At his brother's bachelor party a couple of weeks ago, someone managed to slam a barstool on his foot hard enough to break one of toes and his navicular bone. It's a real shame too. The wedding is this weekend, and he's the best man. Now he's stuck hobbling through the ceremony, and Kevin and Emily's pictures are going to be ruined," Mrs. Cosgrove answered for her husband, who seem to have suddenly turned into a statue._

" _Real shame my ass. You don't even know the half of it," Matt muttered under his breath. No one other than Gabby seemed to hear though._

" _Who's that?" Mrs. Cosgrove pointed towards Gabby._

" _My fiancée," Matt's words caused a look of what Gabby could only presume to be horror to flash over Jared Cosgrove's face._

" _Fiancée. I'm not paying you to have social calls in my house. We don't have time for that," Mrs. Cosgrove said._

" _First of all, she brought my lunch because I forgot it at home," Matt defended himself and her. "And second of all, it doesn't matter because I won't be working for you anymore."_

" _What" Mrs. Cosgrove seemed shocked by the sudden turn of events while her husband continued to just stand there staring at Gabby. "Is this because of what I just said. I'm sorry. I swear I'm not trying to be a bitch. It's just I want us to move in here as quickly as possible. I'm pregnant, and I'd like to be fully settled before the baby comes. Plus, hormones."_

 _Gabby felt sorry for the woman. Yes, from everything Matt had said and what she was witnessing now, Mrs. Cosgrove was definitely a real piece of work, but still she was married to a man like that and didn't even know it. At least Gabby hoped she didn't know it, and that poor baby. Having no idea what her attacker was truly capable of, Gabby really hoped for the baby's sake that it wasn't a girl._

" _That's not what this is about," Matt said._

" _You can't just quit," Mrs. Cosgrove tried to argue._

" _Look I can give you some other names, but I can't work for you anymore," Matt replied._

" _And why is that?" Mrs. Cosgrove asked._

" _Ask your husband what really happened to his foot," Matt told her. "Let's go babe. I'll be back later for my tools."_

 _With that Matt guided Gabby out of the house, his arm still tightly around her. As they exited the room, he sent one last death glare at Jared Cosgrove while his free hand was clenched in a fist. Gabby knew it had taken every last ounce of willpower Matt had for him to avoid decking the man during the encounter._

" _Don't expect to get paid," Mrs. Cosgrove called after them before turning her attention to her husband. She spoke loud enough that Gabby could hear her voice through the large house. "What exactly is he talking about Jared?"_

" _You okay?" Matt asked once they were outside. He was clearly worried about her. She knew she had been doing a lot better recently, that she was ready to start putting all this behind her, but she was worried that today was going to bring it all back. Matt probably was too._

" _I don't know," she admitted. "I never imagined I'd see him again."_

" _I know," Matt pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Whatever you need. Whatever I can do. Just talk to me."_

" _I just want to get out of here," Gabby said as she pulled away from his embrace and leaned against her car to search her bag for her keys. Looking at her hands as they moved things around, she noticed for the first time that she was shaking._

" _Hey," Matt put his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to steady her. "Let me drive you home. I can get your car when I come back for my tools."_

" _You don't have to," she felt bad enough that he had quit because of her. She didn't want to potentially create any more problems for him._

" _I want to, and I'm not taking no for an answer," he insisted._

 _Gabby just nodded. She didn't want to give him another reason to worry, and he did not seem comfortable with the idea of her driving right now._

 _They drove home in silence, Gabby staring out the window, trying to hold back tears. Matt would reach for her hand every so often, giving it a light squeeze to let her know he was there. It was comforting._

 _When they got home, Gabby walked silently into the apartment. She took a seat on the couch and pulled her legs up against her chest. Then she wrapped her arms around them protectively and buried her face in the space between her knees and her chest. Why did she have to see him again?_

" _Talk to me," Matt said as he sat down next to her and started rubbing her back._

" _I just want to move on," Gabby mumbled._

" _I know you do," Matt told her. "I'm sorry. I had no idea I was working for the bastard. If I had…the last thing I ever wanted was for you to ever have to go through something like this. What happened that night and today."_

" _It's not your fault. There's no way you could have known. You didn't have to quit," she felt guilty that he'd given up a job for her._

" _Of course I did," he told her._

" _No you didn't, and now you risked your reputation by walking out in the middle of a job because of me," she said as a tear finally fell from her eye._

" _First of all, I don't want to work for anyone whose capable of doing what he tried to do to you, and I don't think having to resist the urge to kill the bastard every time I saw him or spoke to him would be any better for my reputation. That's exactly what would have happened. He hurt the most important person in my life Gabby; he hurt you. I could never forgive that," he told her._

" _I know, but you have a business to think about," she tried to explain._

" _Hey, look at me," Matt instructed her._

" _Baby please," he added when she hadn't complied a minute later._

 _Finally, Gabby lifted her head and shifted slightly to face him. Matt reached up and wiped away her tears as they fell down her cheeks. Looking her in the eye, he spoke again._

" _I care a lot more about you than any of that."_

 _At that moment, Gabby's phone buzzed. Taking it out of her bag, she saw a text from Shay._

" _Do you want to grab dinner after the movie?" it read._

" _Oh crap," Gabby muttered. "I completely forgot. I'm supposed to meet Shay in a little while. I just. I can't deal with the world right now."_

" _I'm sure Shay will understand why you're not up to it," Matt told her._

" _She doesn't know what happened that night. You, Hermann, and Jessica are the only ones that do. I don't want anyone else to know not even Shay," Gabby explained._

" _You have nothing to be ashamed of Gabby," Matt tried to reassure her._

" _It's not that. I just don't want anyone else worrying about me," she replied._

" _People worry because they love you and they care, but if you really don't want Shay to know, you could always tell her you're not feeling well," he suggested._

" _Can I take a rain check? Got a migraine," she texted Shay, figuring that her best friend wouldn't come over to check on her if she thought noise and light were going to just make things worse._

" _Of course. Feel better Dawson," Shay wrote back._

" _What can I do for you?" Matt asked once Gabby put her phone down._

" _Would you mind just holding me?" she wanted the comfort of being in his arms._

" _You never have to ask that. Come here," he replied._

 _So Gabby moved towards Matt and buried her face in his neck as he wrapped his arms securely around her and resumed rubbing her back. They sat there in silence while Gabby thought about how thankful she was to have Matt at her side. Despite everything that had happened with Jared Cosgrove, this really was a much better world._

* * *

Author's Note: I hope all the chapters between Gabby's take on the day she and Matt met and Matt's take doesn't make this seem out of place. I always wanted to write both of them and initially thought about putting them in the same chapter, but ultimately, I decided it made more sense for Matt to reflect on it after Gabby had been in the coma for a while.

Anyways, until next time, please leave a review to let me know what you thought about this chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Sorry for the extra long delay with this one. Life has been kicking my ass, and it's been hard to find the time to breathe let alone write. Then when I do have time, I'm too tired to think - even if it's for something that's fun. I don't want to work on this like that because I figure its just going to lower the quality or lead to my accidentally leaving something important out. For my own sanity, I'm hoping things will calm down soon, but it is what it is for now.

Anyways, as always I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and favorited or followed this story after Chapter Fourteen. I really love seeing all the feedback.

Now if I may make a suggestion, I recommend going back and rereading the last scene in Chapter Nine before delving into Chapter Fifteen. That's all I'll say on this front for now. If you have questions as to why once you get through this chapter, and I'll see if I can give you a hint.

Now here's Chapter Fifteen. Hopefully, it's worth the wait.

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

 _Gabby was making breakfast while Matt sat at the table on his laptop. He was putting together an estimate for a woman who wanted help making her house handicap accessible and adding on a first floor bedroom as her eighty-year-old mother was getting ready to move in. Gabby was relieved that everything that had happened with the Cosgrove's hadn't hurt Casey Construction. Matt had gotten calls from several prospective clients in the week and a half since they'd realized exactly who he was working for, and he'd even done a couple of small jobs. He'd been hesitant at first, not wanting to leave her in case she was struggling and needed him, but she'd convinced him that she was okay. In a weird way, despite how much it had upset her at first, seeing Jared Cosgrove had turned out to be exactly what she needed._

" _You want me to make sausage or bacon to go with the french toast?" Gabby asked as she moved a piece of bread from the bowl that contained the egg and cinnamon mixture to the frying pan. She enjoyed mornings like this, when they didn't have shift or anywhere else they had to be and could just spend time together._

" _How about some bacon?" Matt suggested._

" _Sure. I just need a few minutes to get it out of the fridge and grab another pan," she told him._

" _I'm almost done with this. I can take care of it," he replied._

" _Thanks babe," she smiled at him._

 _After a couple of minutes, Matt closed his laptop and got everything he needed to cook the bacon and joined her at the stove. Once the bacon was started, he wrapped his arm around Gabby._

" _That smells great," Matt said._

" _It's just french toast. Nothing fancy," Gabby laughed._

" _Doesn't matter. Still smells great," he insisted._

" _How'd the estimate come out? Think you'll get the job?" Gabby changed the subject._

" _We'll see. I don't know who else she's looking to use, but I did some work for her a couple years ago so that should hopefully help," Matt replied._

" _Good," Gabby said. As much as she appreciated him giving up the Cosgrove job because of her, she still felt bad about it and wanted everything else to go his way, hoping that would make up for it._

 _Once breakfast was cooked, the couple sat down and ate together. Afterwards, Matt helped Gabby clean up._

" _I guess I should probably shower," Gabby said once the pans had been washed and all the dishes were in the dishwasher. Unlike Matt who was already dressed for the day, having gotten up early to go for a run, Gabby was still in her pajamas._

" _We don't have to be at therapy until 11:30, right?" Matt was looking at the clock, which read 9:00._

" _Yeah," Gabby pretended to be confused even though she knew exactly where this was going._

" _So you want some company?" Matt asked._

" _Didn't you already shower? I mean that's what woke me up," Gabby teased him._

" _And your point is?" Matt's eyes were filled with love and lust as he looked at her._

" _Well, when you look at me like that, I guess I don't have a good one. You didn't get enough last night?" Gabby replied with a smile as she remembered their lovemaking the previous night._

" _Gabby, I could never get enough of you. I may wind up completely exhausted, but I could never get enough," Matt's voice was filled with honesty, making her blush._

* * *

" _So one thing we haven't really talked about yet is the decision for the two of you to work together," Jessica said once the couple had settled into her office later that morning. "How did that come about?"_

" _Well, we've been working together at 51 for years," Gabby said. The question made her a little nervous. She didn't think she had actually answered the question Jessica was asking, but she didn't know what else to say. It's not like she had any idea how that had all come about in this world. In hers the story involved Shay dying so it couldn't be exactly the same._

" _That's not what I meant Gabby. When I first met the two of you, Matt said that you working for him was the fastest way for you to become a firefighter, but how did that wind up happening? What were you two thinking when it did happen and it meant you couldn't let people know you were engaged?" Jessica explained._

" _When I was getting ready to take the final exam at the Academy, there was an open spot on 81, and I remember thinking that it would be great if I got it. The idea that it would have any effect on our relationship didn't even occur to me. It's just I'd been at 51 for nearly six years at that point. It was like my second family. Some of my closest friends were there. My best friend was there. Matt was there. I didn't want to leave that behind. Chief said that I couldn't work under Matt though. I tried to argue about it, but he wouldn't change his mind so I just let it go and assumed it wouldn't happen until it did," Gabby hoped that was all still true here. As far as she could tell, things had progressed in this world the same way they had in her own up until the Chief and Donna's wedding and only diverged when that fateful call hadn't come in. That made her comfortable saying this, but she had no way of knowing for certain._

" _Gabby was supposed to be assigned elsewhere, and she did get assigned to another truck company in our district," Matt started to explain. "Fortunately, she was still going to be on the same shift so we'd still get to see each other. She was supposed to start about a week after we got engaged, and then we were going to formally announce the engagement and start planning the wedding._

" _Then the night before Gabby was supposed to start, she got a call from the district chief. Her spot had been filled with someone else. Apparently, the guy was a good friend of the truck company's lieutenant and was looking to change houses so the lieutenant went to bat for him. Between that and the guy's seniority, the CFD thought they had to give it to him. It was more than that though. The lieutenant didn't want Gabby on his truck because he didn't think woman should be firefighters. She and I both knew it. He probably recruited his friend and not the other way around._

" _When I went to shift the next day, I told the Chief what had happened. I was hoping that he could cancel the relief, and Gabby could maybe at least get her PIC spot back for the time being instead of sitting at home, but it turns out it wasn't relief. Someone else had already been assigned to the ambo permanently. I also figured that he could try to pull some strings and help get her placed again sooner than she would have been. I never imagined that he would actually offer to put her on 81 and was completely caught off guard when he called me into his office that afternoon to tell me he was open to it as long as we understood what it meant for us and were okay with that."_

" _So you were approached about it first Matt. Were you the one who told Gabby?" Jessica asked._

" _Yeah. I told her that Boden was willing to let her on 81 when I got home the following morning. I would have told her earlier, but I wanted to be able to talk to her about it in person," Matt answered._

 _Gabby just listened. Since this wasn't exactly what she remembered, she wasn't sure what to say._

" _Knowing what it meant for your relationship, that you wouldn't be able to announce your engagement or start planning your wedding, that it might be a challenge to navigate everything, you still chose to tell her," Jessica observed._

" _Of course I did," Matt replied._

" _Did you ever think about not telling her? Just deciding on your own that it wasn't a good idea and moving forward with your life together?" Jessica asked._

" _Never," Matt answered without hesitation. "I don't like the idea of intentionally keeping something from Gabby, especially something that's about her, and I respect her too much to make a decision like this without talking with her. And if I had tried, she would have eventually found out. If I didn't think we could handle it, I would have told her that when I told her what Boden had said. Besides what I want more than anything is for Gabby to be happy, and she looked so crushed when she found out she'd lost the other spot. It broke my heart. I never got along with Welch, but I really hate him for doing that to her. It's a good thing we didn't run into him during that shift._

" _Is there a part of me that wishes that we were already married or at least closer to it? Of course. I can't wait to be her husband," Matt continued. "But there are some good things about Gabby serving under me too. I was really comfortable with her having to work for Welch –"_

" _He was never going to break me Matt. No matter how much of an ass he was," Gabby interrupted. She always hated the fact that Matt had been so concerned about that._

" _It's not that. You deserve so much more than what you would have had to put up with had you actually wound up working under him, but that wasn't what I was most concerned about," Matt told her. "I didn't trust him with your life. Welch was so opposed to having a woman on his truck that I was terrified that he would be careless with you, that he wouldn't be too concerned with making sure nothing happened to you because he would figure that if something did happen, it would just prove his point about female firefighters. Honestly, that's what's most comforting about having you on 81. I know that there's a lot of good officers out there, that most of them would have trained you well and tried to keep you safe and alive, but no other person in the CFD, officer or otherwise, really no other person in the world aside from maybe your parents and brother value your life even half as much as I do. I have more motivation to do everything I can to make sure you come out of every call alive than anyone else you could have served under because I'm the one who can't bear the idea of living in this world if you aren't a part of it."_

 _Hearing Matt's words, Gabby wished she hadn't just brushed off his offer to try to get her placed with one of his friends instead of at Austin when she was waiting to retake the final exam. She'd shot him down because she'd felt like he was saying she couldn't handle it, but that hadn't been the case. He'd just wanted her serving under someone he trusted so that her boss wasn't just one more reason he had to worry about her. It was something she understood; she'd always been anxious every time she had to wait by the ambo while he was inside a burning building, and she at least knew that Boden and everyone in there with him had his back and his best interests at heart._

" _What about you Gabby? What was going through your mind when Matt told you that they would let you work under him?" Jessica asked. That was at least a question she was pretty sure she could answer._

" _I was really excited. I couldn't wait to become a firefighter, and as I said earlier, I had always wanted to stay at 51. I just wasn't going to break up with Matt to be able to do it," Gabby said while silently regretting the fact that she had later come to think that was a good idea and being grateful that she had been given the chance to correct such a big mistake. "Now I was being told I could have both. I was suddenly being given everything I wanted. It was like I was a little kid, and it was my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. How could I say no to that?_

" _Matt and I talked about the fact that we'd have to keep our relationship hidden from everyone who didn't already know about it and put off getting married. Don't take this the wrong way babe, but I didn't really care. The people who were most important to us already knew, and as for getting married, I wasn't really sure it mattered. Don't get me wrong, I want to marry Matt. It's just I already knew that Matt and I are going to be together forever. I didn't need a legal document and another ring to tell me that, and we already had such a great relationship. I didn't see how actually being married would change it or could somehow make it better._

" _And yeah we talked about what it would mean for us at work, the fact that once he was my boss and I was just the candidate, we couldn't have the same relationship at the firehouse that we had before, how we'd really have to keep our personal and professional relationships separate, and the fact that he'd have to be able to put me in danger."_

" _That can't be easy," Jessica interrupted._

" _It isn't," Matt agreed. "It especially wasn't at first. The truth is I'll always be more protective of Gabby than anyone else. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. She's the love of my life. I'm pretty sure I've gotten better though. I definitely went a little overboard at first."_

" _I'm sorry. I didn't mean to change the subject. Back to what you were saying Gabby," Jessica said._

" _Despite the fact that we talked about everything, I wasn't really worried about any of it," Gabby continued. "Maybe I didn't really realize what it all meant or maybe I just thought that our relationship was so strong that none of that was going to matter. It did though. We wouldn't be here if it didn't, and even though we thought we'd covered everything, we hadn't. We never really thought about how it would affect other people."_

" _I take it, it did though," Jessica surmised._

" _Yeah. Things were a little awkward in the beginning. Matt said he was overprotective at first. It meant the world to me; I knew it was because he loved me, but it wasn't really appreciated by everyone else. Also, I'd worked at 51 for years. I was friends with all the guys in the house and on Truck. I'm business partners with Hermann and Otis, those are two of the guys on Truck. I was worried that the guys would treat me differently than they treated every other candidate because of that so I started testing them. Turns out I was right to be worried but wrong about why. When I finally confronted Hermann about it, he basically admitted that it wasn't about our friendship but because I was the lieutenant's girlfriend. The whole thing led to an agreement where while Matt was still in charge of the entire company, Hermann got day to day supervision of me," Gabby explained._

" _And the whole home vs. work thing turned out to be more gray than black and white," Matt added. "The candidate is supposed to be the grunt of the firehouse, but there was a lot going on at the time, and I was so used to always being able to talk to Gabby about personal things at work. That doesn't go back to us being a couple though. I can't remember knowing Gabby and not doing that. The point is that there were times where I pulled her out of the grunt work because I wanted to talk to her. That's probably part of why people weren't able to see her as simply the candidate and not as my fiancée. I wasn't doing a good job setting that tone."_

" _Was that why things started going south for the two of you?" Jessica asked._

" _Not really," Matt answered. "We started getting the hang of things."_

" _It's not that it was always clear what was work and what was home and that we were able to just shut off our feelings at work," Gabby interjected, remembering how scared she'd been during the helicopter crash when she'd heard how close he was to getting electrocuted over the radio._

" _Right, but after the first few weeks, things went well for a few months before everything started getting to us," Matt said._

" _What happened?" Jessica asked._

" _About two months ago, we got called to a hydrochloric acid spill. Gabby disobeyed orders and went into the area on her own without the protective gear. Then when I confronted her about it at the firehouse, which I shouldn't have done in the first place. If it had been anyone else, they would have gotten an earful at the scene and wound up scrubbing every inch of the house when we got back. The Chief noticed that I couldn't ream her out publicly, and suddenly we were under scrutiny again. That's not the point though, when I confronted her, she made a joke out of the whole thing. I wound up having to threaten to fire her if she ever pulled something like that again," Matt explained._

" _And when I tried to talk to you about it at home, you refused," Gabby said._

" _I didn't want us to get into a fight about work at home. I thought it was better that way. Instead I just helped make things worse," Matt replied._

" _I just wanted you to act like you cared," Gabby told him._

" _No matter what I will always care. I just also cared about making sure you learned to follow the rules before something happened to you," Matt tried to explain._

 _Gabby just nodded before speaking._

" _I just wanted to show that I could hold my own and think outside the box. When I couldn't get anyone's attention, well, I just wanted to help," Gabby tried to explain herself._

" _I know. That was never the point though. Chain of command, orders they exist for a reason. To keep you and everyone else safe. Going in there without the right gear, do you have any idea how dangerous that could have been? If you were willing to ignore orders and go off on your own in a hazmat situation, what would you do in a fire? What if had been a fire and the building was unstable, would you just ignore orders to get out because you thought you had a better idea?" Matt didn't pause for Gabby to answer the rhetorical questions. "As your lieutenant I needed to make sure you understood the bounds of your job, that you weren't reckless, that you took things seriously before you or somebody else got hurt. Part of my job is to do everything I can to make sure that everyone on 81 makes it home to their loved ones, that you make it home to me. You were making it all so difficult. No matter who it was, the lieutenant in me was always going to be angry about that._

" _And the fiancée in me wasn't just angry. I was terrified Gabby. The thought of something, anything happening to you. The possibility that you would put yourself in danger when you didn't need to be. Those are my nightmares, and the way you were acting, I was so scared they were going to come true. Gabby, my best friend died under my command. If the same thing happened to you…" Mat's voice trailed off._

 _Unsure of what to say, Gabby just reached for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly._

" _I don't know if I would have been able to handle it," Matt managed to find his voice again and continue. "I know that when we're on shift I'm supposed to see you the way I would any other candidate, but I can't just turn off my feelings for you so at every call, in the back of my mind, there's this voice reminding me that I'm the loved one you'd be leaving behind if the worst happened. I try to not let that voice influence how I treat you. I'd like to think I do a decent job of it."_

" _You do," Gabby told him._

" _The thing is every time I hear that voice, I know the reverse is also true. If something happened to me, I'd be leaving you. I would never want to put you through that so I do everything I can to make sure I take every precaution and make it home to you, but you weren't doing the same Gabby. Losing you would destroy me, but it was like that didn't matter to you. That hurt and infuriated me so why would I have wanted to talk about it and just get even angrier with you?"_

" _Of course it matters to me. I saw what Hallie's death did to you. I would never want you to go through that again," Gabby told him. "I just. I guess I never thought about it like that. I mean I know the job is dangerous, but I don't focus on that. I just act on instinct. I always have. I never meant to hurt you or scare you."_

" _Why didn't you tell Gabby how you were feeling?" Jessica asked._

" _We were supposed to be keeping work and home separate, and I didn't want to start fighting about work at home," Matt said._

" _Except it clearly wasn't separate or you wouldn't have been feeling that way in the first place," Gabby told him._

" _Well I'm not the only one who avoided talking about stuff, am I?" Matt defended himself._

" _What are you referring to now?" Jessica asked._

" _A couple of days later I overheard Gabby telling her ex that the personal part of our arrangement was the hard part. When I tried to talk to her about it, she claimed she didn't remember what she'd said," Matt informed the counselor._

" _You wanted to talk about it? You walked out practically as soon as the words were out of my mouth," Gabby replied._

" _I may have misinterpreted what you said, but it felt like I had just been punched in the gut. I didn't want to stick around and have things rubbed in my face," Matt explained. "You could have gone after me you know. Maybe if you had, I wouldn't have spent the next week thinking you were questioning our whole relationship."_

" _So if that's not what you meant, what did you mean Gabby?" Jessica asked._

" _I meant pretty much what I said. At that point, we didn't really have a lot of personal shit to bring into work. Yeah had I still been a paramedic and gotten yelled at like that, I probably would have wound up in Matt's office, but not being able to turn to him about something like that didn't seem like a huge deal. The problem was when we were at home and we couldn't figure out how to talk to each other. That and I missed you," Gabby explained._

" _Why didn't you tell me that? Why did you pretend that you didn't even remember what you had said?" Matt asked her._

" _I didn't really know how," Gabby admitted. "You didn't seem really interested in how I was feeling, and I guess I hoped that if I pretended to not remember, we couldn't fight about it."_

" _Okay. It sounds like you're both afraid that actually talking is going to make things worse between you," Jessica broke into the discussion._

" _There's one question I have," Matt cut her off._

" _Go ahead," Jessica instructed._

" _Why Mills?" Matt asked._

 _Gabby sighed before speaking. She should have expected this question. Matt had always seemed irked by the fact that she had confided in Mills._

" _I know you saw it as me talking about us with my ex, but I don't see Mills as my ex anymore. I just see him as a friend," Gabby started to explain. "And he asked me a question. I answered it honestly because he's my friend, and I knew he was worried about me. If I'd had any idea that you were going to interpret my answer the way you did or be hurt by it, I would have dodged the question."_

" _Why was he worried?" Matt's voice was laced with concern. Gabby wasn't sure if it was because Mills had been worried about her or because there had been a reason for someone to worry about her that he wasn't aware of. She just hoped her answer didn't hurt him more than she clearly already had._

" _He had found me crying in the firehouse showers," Gabby's voice was quiet as she made her admission._

" _I'm sorry," Matt seemed to realize that he was the reason she had been so upset._

" _It's in the past. I really think we are getting better," Gabby told him._

" _We are," Matt agreed._

* * *

Matt was alone in Gabby's room. Going home the previous morning seemed to loosen the grip the hospital had on Gabby's parents, and they had gone home again the previous night. He knew they'd be back later this morning though so he needed to take advantage of the time he had alone with her. He had grabbed Gabby's engagement ring out of his duffel bag on his way back to her side after his shower and was just getting ready to present it to her when Dr. Sanders came in.

"How's she doing?" Matt asked as soon as he saw the man.

"Really well considering," Dr. Sanders replied as he took a quick look at all the machines. "Remember how I said yesterday that as long as she continued to do well we'd take her off the vent today?

"Yeah," Matt said.

"Well, that's why I'm here," Dr. Sanders informed him.

Matt was surprised. It wasn't even 9 AM. Not that he was complaining, but he had assumed they'd wait until at least this afternoon.

"It'll be a nice surprise for her parents and brother when they get back," Matt said.

"Because she's always been capable of breathing on her own, there's no need to actually wean her off of the vent. I just need a few minutes. You don't need to leave the room, but I will need some space," Dr. Sanders told Matt.

Matt hesitantly moved away from the bed and watched as the doctor disconnected the ventilator from the intubation tube and then extubated her. He couldn't help being worried that something would go wrong, but as soon as the tube was out, Matt felt a little better. After all this time it was great to see his girl without a tube down her throat. It was something he never wanted to see again.

"Everything looks good," Dr. Sanders said after checking all the monitors. Motioning towards the ventilator he added, "I'll have someone come by to get this out of the room in a bit."

"Thanks," Matt said, wanting the doctor to leave so he could return to Gabby's side.

"I've got other patients to check on, but let someone know if you need anything," the doctor seemed to read his mind.

Matt just nodded, moving back towards the bed as Dr. Sanders left the room. He repeated his usual ritual, only this time he kissed Gabby's lips instead of her cheek. They were far more chapped than he remembered. For a brief moment, he wondered if that was because of the ventilator or the air in the hospital or something else. He quickly decided that didn't matter though. They were Gabby's lips, and for that reason alone they were perfect.

"I hope you feel better without the intubation tube and that it didn't hurt too much when they took it out," Matt began. "I'm sorry I didn't get to give you your surprise last night. I really wanted to. It's just personal so I want to give it you when it's just you and me. When your parents and brother showed up, I needed to wait, and then I don't know if you realized it, but I fell asleep. Guess the trouble I've been having sleeping is starting to catch up to me. I know you can be impatient, and that's okay. I love everything about you, but I also know your mother's right and you would want me to get sleep when I need it so I'm sure you understand. I still have your surprise though, and I do really want to give it to you so let me tell you what it is."

"Casey," he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and Mills' voice.

"Hi," Matt said as he turned towards the door and saw Mills and Brett standing there.

"We just dropped off a patient in the ER, and Severide mentioned that they had let him in here yesterday so we thought we would stop by and check in," Brett informed him. "Hope that's okay."

"Of course. Gabby would be glad you're here," Matt hoped his annoyance wasn't evident in his voice. It's not that he didn't want Gabby's friends to be able to visit her. Hopefully, it would help her even if part of him couldn't help but wish that his presence would be enough to bring her back. It's just once again the time where it could have been just the two of them was being interrupted, and once again he didn't have the privacy to give her back her ring.

Maybe that was a sign. Maybe he wasn't meant to put it back on her finger like this, when she couldn't see it and smile and tell him yes. Maybe he needed to wait until she was awake and actually propose again. Still, he needed it here. He needed it where he could see it and touch it and know what it meant even if it wasn't actually on her finger. And he wanted Gabby to know that it was here and that once she was ready, he would very happily put it back where it belonged.

"Wow. If I didn't know that was Gabby, I'm not sure I'd recognize her," Mills sounded shocked as he blurted out the first thing that came to mind once he saw her.

Brett thought it was a little rude and smacked him on the shoulder as they made their way into the room.

Meanwhile, as awful as Mills's observation was, it made Matt smile slightly inside. He couldn't help seeing it as a testament to his relationship with Gabby. Unlike her ex, he'd always been able to see beyond the machines and broken body. He'd always been able to recognize his girl in there.

"Sorry," Mills muttered.

"You get used to all the bandages," Matt hated to admit it, but it was true.

"Hey. You know the apartment's lonely without you," Brett said as she and Mills took their seats.

Her words made Matt inwardly cringe. The reminder that Gabby was living with Brett was also a reminder that they had fallen apart. He just had to hope that once Gabby was better she'd be coming home instead of going back there.

"How's she doing?" Mills asked.

"Better," Matt replied. "She was on a ventilator until maybe ten minutes ago to try to take some of the stress off her body. The doctors are talking about moving her out of intensive care soon. I don't know if Severide told you guys, but they took care of her leg and hip yesterday."

"That's really good," Brett said.

"Yeah. From what everyone's said, physically she's doing a lot better than they were expecting at this point," Matt agreed.

"They don't know Gabby. She's a fighter," Mills interjected.

"She is," Matt tried to ignore the tone in Mills voice. It was making him wonder if the firefighter turned paramedic still had feelings for Gabby. He couldn't let himself feel threatened by it. That was one of the many things that had torn them apart before.

"It's just, they have no idea when she's going to come out of the coma and wake up. She hasn't shown any improvement. The physical stuff is great, but I'd trade it all for her to be awake," Matt admitted.

"It may take some time, but I'm sure she'll start waking up soon," Brett tried to reassure him.

"How are things at 51?" Matt changed the subject.

"Interesting," Brett said.

"Boden's still out, and well, if the interim chief is any indication of what his old house was like, then it's no surprise McLoud shut it down," Mills said. "He doesn't seem to take things seriously and wants to make a joke out of everything. I think he thinks it's going to make him seem like he's one of the guys. He just comes across as a jerk though."

"He acts like it's all about him, and he's definitely got it out for Severide. Although I don't understand why," Brett added.

"Apparently Severide slept with his wife," Mills said.

"Wait. What?" that caught Matt's attention. Severide's words from the week before were coming to him. Severide had said something about the woman from the bar being the interim chief's wife. Had he gotten his friend in trouble?

"I overheard Pridgen saying something to him about it. Didn't sound like a pleasant conversation. I got out of there as quickly as I could," Mills explained.

"Aside from the chief, how's shift been?" Matt changed the subject, not wanting to think about what Severide was dealing with because it was a reminder of what he had done.

"You're both missed. Hermann's been filling in for you, but we've had different relief filling for Dawson each shift. No women though. It's a little lonely," Brett said.

"Gabby will be back. I know she wouldn't want to leave you on your own. She knows what it's like to be the only woman in the house," Matt was hopeful.

"Casey," Brett started to say but Mills gave her a look telling her to stop. He knew what she was going to say and didn't think it would be very productive to tell Casey that Dawson probably wouldn't be coming back to work.

"What?" Matt noticed she'd stopped herself from continuing.

"She's going to need to focus on her recovery before she can even think about coming back to work," Brett chose a compromise as an answer.

"We just had what might be the weirdest call I've ever seen," Mills changed the subject, wanting to avoid any potential conflict between Casey and Brett. "We responded to a structure fire at an apartment building. During the primary search, Hermann and Cruz found a couple refusing to leave because they were having sex. Eventually when the fire spread to their apartment, they managed to convince them to leave only once they were out of the building, they started going at it on the sidewalk. Didn't seem to care that half the building and all of us could see everything they were doing. When we left with our patient, CPD had shown up and was trying to pull them apart so they could arrest them for public indecency."

"I've seen a lot of things, but I don't think I've ever seen something like that," Matt said as he distracted himself trying to picture the looks on everyone's faces.

"If there hadn't been several young children there, staring at them, trying to figure out what they were doing, it probably would have been pretty funny. I'm pretty sure the woman had her orgasm just as CPD was arriving. The poor kids looked absolutely terrified," Brett said.

"Had she been there, I know Gabby would have tried to give them a piece of her mind," he could easily picture it. Gabby shouting at them, trying to point out that there were kids there, and then ranting about it when they got back to 51. She always went above and beyond when kids were involved, and was so passionate. He'd known he was amazed by it long before he'd been able to admit that it was one of the things he had first fallen in love with.

At that moment, the door opened revealing Antonio along with his and Gabby's parents.

"We should probably be getting back to the house," Mills said, wanting to give Gabby's family some privacy.

"We'll see you guys later," Brett squeezed Casey's shoulder as she got up.

As made their way out of the room, they exchanged greetings with Gabby's family. Then Antonio and his parents made their way into the room, settling in for another day of sitting, waiting, and hoping.

* * *

Author's Note: So that's Chapter Fifteen. Hopefully, it didn't seem like too much recap of what happened on the show. It's just I thought that in a real situation like this, Gabby and Matt would have to talk about everything that went down with them with their therapist, and I really wanted to write it and show it. I also hope I got all the facts surrounding what happened at the spill and Gabby's conversation with Mills and its aftermath right. I was originally planning on rewatching the episodes to make sure my memory was accurate but couldn't bring myself to do it because well they sucked in my opinion.

Anyways, please let me know what you thought of this chapter, and I'll try to get the next one out sooner.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: Once again I'm sorry for such a long delay. I continue to have way to more to do than I have time for, and I unfortunately can't guarantee that I'll be able to get the next chapter out any sooner. That said, shameless plug, if anyone is interested in a depressing story, I did write a sad, emotional one shot called Last Wish a couple weeks ago when I couldn't get the idea out of my head.

As always thank you to everyone whose reviewed, followed, or favorited this story since the last chapter. However, after rereading the reviews for the last few chapters, I think I need to reclarify something. In the world of this story, everything progressed through 3x14 as it did on the show with Shay dying and Dawsey not able to work through their problems and instead breaking up. The italicized portion of each chapter is not the past or flashbacks to what happened before Gabby's accident. They are instead the dream Gabby is having while in the coma, where the things she regrets most (Shay's death, the break up) didn't happen.

That's pretty much all I have to say at this point so sit back, hopefully enjoy, and when you're done, let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

 _Gabby lay in bed trying to figure out why it was so hot in the apartment. She felt completely exhausted although she wasn't sure why. She hadn't been on shift today or even worked Molly's. In fact, she'd spent most of the day on the couch, not really having the energy to do much. The problem was that in spite of her exhaustion, she couldn't sleep. It was so hot that she couldn't get comfortable, and to make matters worse she needed to sleep. They had shift in the morning and she did not want to go into a burning building while barely awake._

 _She had discarded her sweatpants a while ago, after she'd thrown the covers off her body. Now she was laying on top of the fitted sheet in nothing but her panties and tank top. It hadn't done any good though._

 _Glancing over at Matt, he was sleeping peacefully. She didn't understand it. While she was half naked and covered in sweat, he was tucked securely under the covers, seemingly cool as a cucumber. She'd moved his arm and forced herself away from him earlier, hoping that some distance would help her cool down. It hadn't._

" _Screw the fact that's in mid-January," Gabby muttered as she slowly sat up._

 _She got out of bed and left the room, making her way towards the thermostat in the living room. Looking at the thermostat, she wondered if it was working right. It claimed it was sixty five degrees in the apartment. Yet it felt like it was significantly warmer than that. Gabby wouldn't have been surprised if it was really in the eighties or nineties._

 _Gabby flicked the switch to turn the heat off and the air conditioning on. She adjusted the thermostat down a few degrees. If this didn't work, she'd be taking off the rest of her clothes._

 _Back in bed, Gabby could feel the cool air hitting her body. She was still sweating though. Suddenly a wave of nausea overtook her, and she jumped out of bed, making a beeline towards the bathroom and crouching down in front of the toilet just in time._

 _Thinking she'd emptied the contents of her stomach, Gabby flushed the toilet and stood up. She grabbed Matt's mouthwash and took a swig of it, hoping to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth. She had just spit it out when she started coughing uncontrollably. Holding onto the sink with one hand for support, she coughed into her free hand for a few minutes. Pulling the hand away, she was shocked to find red specks that were clearly blood._

 _This wasn't good. She needed to go wake Matt._

 _Only before Gabby could make it out of the bathroom another wave of nausea it her. Spinning around she headed back towards the toilet. This time she barely made it as evidenced by the vomit that was dripping down the front of the toilet._

 _A few minutes later, with the contents of her stomach now hopefully truly empty, Gabby's focus turned back to the need to wake Matt. The fact that she was coughing up blood and puking clearly indicated that something was wrong with her._

 _Gabby tried to get up only she found she didn't have the energy to stand._

" _Matt," she tried to call but it came out as barely a whisper. For some reason her chest tightened as she tried to yell, and her voice didn't seem to be working. She wasn't sure if that was because of her lack of energy or another sign of what was wrong. Feeling trapped, Gabby just sat on the bathroom floor, hoping that Matt would wake up for some reason and come looking for her. The realization that the coldness of the tile floor wasn't helping to cool her down prompted a tear to form in her eye. Something was very wrong._

 _When Matt hadn't woken up a few minutes later, Gabby decided she needed to try to get up again. Holding onto whatever she could find on the wall, she managed to lift herself a few feet before she came crashing down, her back hitting the side of the toilet a moment before her bum hit the floor. In trying to stop her fall, she'd somehow managed to pull rod in the toilet paper holder loose; it made a clanging noise as it hit the floor._

" _Why is it so cold in here," Matt's voice suddenly made its way into the bathroom. Gabby wasn't sure if it was because of what she had done with the thermostat earlier or the thud she made when she collapsed, but something had woken Matt. Now she just needed him to find her._

" _Gabby," Matt called._

" _Bathroom," she tried to yell to alert him to her location, but it came out as nothing more than a whisper. Fortunately, he still managed to find her a couple of moments later._

" _Gabby. Are you okay?" Matt's voice was filled with alarm as he got his first glimpse of her. Crouching down on the floor next to her, he reached for her cheek, speaking again as soon as his hand made contact with it. "Jeez Gabby, you're burning up."_

" _Something's wrong," she whispered back, still unable to speak any louder._

" _I'm just going to grab a thermometer. Okay?" Matt asked her._

 _Figuring it was futile to try to speak, Gabby just nodded. Matt got up and moved towards the sink. While never taking his eyes off Gabby, he fiddled through the middle drawer in the bathroom vanity until he found what he was looking for and returned to Gabby's side._

 _When Matt handed her the thermometer, she showed him her blood covered hand._

" _You coughed that up?" Matt asked, prompting her to nod. She then motioned to the vomit filled toilet; her inability to get up having prevented her from flushing it the second time she'd puked._

" _Let's take your temperature and go from there," Matt told her. On their face, the words sounded calm, but Matt's voice was shaky. In his eyes, Gabby could see that inside a battle was raging between the instincts of a firefighter, wanting him to stay calm in control of the situation, and the worry of a fiancée, who knew something was seriously wrong with the woman he loved._

 _Knowing she couldn't do anything about that, she simply put the thermometer in her mouth. She saw the numbers move up quickly, letting her know that she definitely had a fever, but the wait still felt like it took forever. Eventually the thermometer did beep though, alerting both Matt and Gabby to the fact that her temperature was 104 degrees._

" _We need to get you to a hospital," Matt said even though Gabby had already figured that out. "Can you stand up?"_

" _No. I tried," Gabby managed to get out._

" _Okay. I'm not sure how good of an idea it is for me to take you myself anyways," Matt replied. "I'm going to call for an ambulance. My phone's in the bedroom though. I'll be right back."_

" _Okay," Gabby whispered in response._

 _With that Matt leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead before getting up and making his way through the door that separated the master bedroom and bath._

" _My fiancée. She's has a fever of 104, and she's coughing up blood and vomiting. She's having a hard time getting up and speaking too," Matt's voice made its way through to the bathroom._

 _Gabby noticed that he sounded so scared. There just might be more fear in his voice than she'd ever heard before. You didn't need to be a trained paramedic to know that by themselves such a high fever and coughing up blood were bad signs. Together, well, she had clearly suddenly become very sick._

 _His voice faded for a few minutes. He seemed to be walking further away. At least that's what she hoped was going on._

" _Yes she's conscious," Matt said as he returned to the bathroom._

" _Okay. The door will be open. Just send them in," he replied to whatever the 9-1-1 operator had said. He then gave their address and hung up the before turning his attention to her. "An ambulance is on its way."_

" _Tired," Gabby whispered._

" _I know, but stay with me Gabby. I need you stay with me," Matt said as he grabbed a washcloth out of the bathroom closet. He ran it under the sink for a minute and then returned to her side._

" _Try this," he rubbed the washcloth gently against her forehead and the side of her face. The cold water felt amazing, but she was still so incredibly hot._

" _I love you so much Gabby," Matt told her as he leaned in to kiss her again._

 _A few minutes later the door opened and a pair of paramedics somehow found them._

" _Dawson?" a female voice said surprised, prompting Gabby to do her best to take a good look at the two paramedics._

 _The woman who spoke was Pauline Carpenter. She and Gabby had gone through their EMT certification training together. They'd run into each other a couple of times since, but they had never been friends and Gabby hadn't seen Pauline in about four years. The other paramedic was Charlie Bowen. He used to be the first watch PIC on 61 so they had often seen each other at shift change and would sometimes discuss the state of the ambo. He had left the CFD a couple years ago to go work for a private company because it paid better. Apparently, he'd come back at some point._

" _Casey, what happened?" Bowen asked._

" _I found Gabby like this maybe fifteen minutes ago. She hasn't thrown up since, but she's still coughing. It doesn't sound very good. I think she's gotten worse since I found her," Matt explained. He never took his eyes off Gabby as he spoke._

" _Okay. Let's get her to the hospital. We'll take her to Lakeshore," Bowen told Matt before turning his attention to Gabby. "Dawson can you stand?"_

 _Gabby just shook her head in response._

" _I'm coming with you," Matt informed the two paramedics._

" _You might want to put a shirt on," Pauline said with a smile as she took a nice long look at Matt's bare chest, reminding Gabby of why she had never liked the woman. As a twenty one year old, Pauline had been more interested in boys than anything else and more concerned with what they looked like than whether or not they were taken. It was clear that all these years later, that hadn't changed. She was surprised Bowen let her get away with it though. He had always seemed like a no nonsense guy, and ogling the patient's family on a call should never be acceptable. If Gabby had been Pauline's PIC, the woman would be in big trouble. Hell, if Gabby had been capable of it at the moment she would have wiped that smile off of Pauline's face._

" _Carpenter help me get her on the gurney," Bowen sounded annoyed, which Gabby at least appreciated._

" _I'll be right back baby," Matt leaned in to give Gabby one more kiss and handing her the washcloth._

 _Once Matt was out of the room, Bowen and Pauline got to work. By the time Matt returned, now wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and sneakers in addition to his pajama pants and holding both of their coats, Gabby was on the gurney, ready to be rolled out._

 _The ride to Lakeshore went by slowly, and she started having trouble breathing, forcing Bowen to start pumping air for her. Gabby tried to focus on Matt, his touch, and his voice, things that would always help anchor her. She knew he was trying to stay out of Bowen's way while also not leaving her side. He held her hand and kept stoking her hair. He was constantly telling her that he loved her and that everything was going to be okay. She wasn't sure if that last part was for her benefit or his own._

 _When they rolled into Lakeshore, she was taken out of the ambulance and into the ER. Matt stayed with gurney for as long as he could._

" _Sir, you can't come in here," one of the doctor's said once they reached the curtain area, where Gabby suspected she was going to be treated._

" _She's my fiancée," Matt tried to argue._

" _Then stay out of our way so we can treat her," the doctor replied._

" _It'll be okay. She's in good hands," Bowen told Matt as he disappeared from Gabby's sight._

 _The next few minutes were spent getting Gabby's care transitioned from the paramedics to the ER doctors and nurses. She was put on oxygen and given something to try to bring her fever down._

" _Carpenter, you do the paperwork," Bowen said as the two paramedics made their way out of the curtain area. A few moments later Gabby heard his voice again. "When did this happen?"_

" _About fifteen months ago. A little less," Matt's voice carried into the curtain area as well. Gabby hadn't known what the question meant when Bowen had first asked it, but Matt's answer indicated that the man had wanted to know how long they'd been together. "I need her to be okay."_

" _As I said earlier, she's in good hands here," Bowen replied._

" _I know, but you're married. How would you feel if you'd found Jenna like that?" Matt asked._

" _Point taken," Bowen simply said._

* * *

 _After being taken for a chest x-ray, Gabby was surprised to be brought to a room on a regular medical floor. She wasn't surprised to be getting admitted. Forget all her other symptoms. The severity of her fever alone meant that was standard procedure. It's just she wasn't expecting to be moved out of the ER so soon. This was clearly her room though. Matt wouldn't be in here waiting for her if it wasn't._

" _How are you feeling?" Matt asked._

" _A little better," she told him. Her voice seemed to be coming back. That had to be a good sign. "Whatever they gave me seems to be helping."_

" _That was for the fever, and it is working. It's come down a little bit. Not a lot, but it's definitely not as high as it was when you were first brought in. Someone will be bringing in a cooling blanket as well," a nurse interjected._

" _How long do I need this thing?" she asked the nurse as she pointed to the oxygen mask. It was uncomfortable and slightly muffled her words as she spoke. She wanted it gone._

" _It'll be up to the doctor when we get your test results back," the nurse informed her._

" _Can I at least move it when I talk?" she asked._

" _You know the answer to that, Gabby," Matt chuckled. "And maybe you shouldn't exert yourself talking anyways. You were really struggling with it earlier."_

" _It's not as difficult now. Besides, it can't hurt to ask," Gabby defended herself._

" _There's my girl," Matt sounded a little relieved._

" _I wouldn't recommend it," the nurse told her. "Someone will be by in a little bit to take some blood."_

" _They took blood in the ER," Gabby pointed out. She couldn't help being alarmed that they needed more._

" _I know, but there's a few more tests they want to run. Don't worry. It's nothing to be concerned about," the nurse seemed to read her. "Now it's around 2:30 in the morning. I would suggest trying to get some rest once they finish the blood draw."_

" _It's okay for her to sleep?" Matt asked._

" _It's perfectly fine, even good for her. She's on oxygen and the IV's are helping, and the machines will alert us if something's wrong. You can relax now Mr. Casey," the nurse answered while Gabby reached for his hand, intent on squeezing it reassuringly._

 _A few minutes after the nurse left, an orderly came in carrying the cooling blanket and a needle and tubes that were clearly for the blood draw. While he worked, Gabby kept her focus on Matt, not able to look at the orderly or what he was doing. It was funny. As a paramedic, she was more than capable of sticking a needle in someone and had no problem watching someone put a needle in someone else. Yet she could never watch when the needle was being stuck in her own body._

" _I'm tired," Gabby yawned shortly after the orderly had finished._

" _I know. Get some rest," Matt told her._

" _You should too. It's the middle of the night," she suggested._

" _Let's just focus on you," Matt replied._

* * *

 _It was a little after six when Gabby was next woken up. She opened her eyes to see Matt leaning over her and a doctor standing next to him._

" _Good morning Ms. Dawson," the doctor said cheerily. Too cheerily given the hour and circumstances. "I'm sorry to wake you. I understand you had a rough night, but I needed to talk to you."_

" _Am I okay?" she couldn't help asking._

 _Matt took her hand, holding it tightly and nodded for the doctor to speak._

" _Not yet, but you should be. We know what you have, and you're expected to make a full recovery," Gabby felt Matt relax and let out her own sigh of relief once those words were out of the doctor's mouth. "You've got bacterial pneumonia. A pretty severe case actually, but you're young and otherwise healthy. It's nothing we can't handle. We've been able to identify the specific bacteria, and we'll get you started on antibiotics in a few minutes. We'll also keep you on the oxygen and fluids for at least today. I know you're pretty weak, and I'm worried that you wouldn't be able to keep anything down right now, even liquids, and we need to keep you hydrated. We'll take another chest x-ray tomorrow morning, and then see whether we want to keep you on the mask or switch to a nasal tube or take you off the oxygen completely. Although I should warn you, my best guess is that it's unlikely we'll be taking you off the oxygen, which brings me to the bad news. You're going to be stuck here with us for at least the next several days."_

" _We can handle that. As long as she's going to be fine," Matt told the doctor, prompting Gabby to glare at him. He should know that she didn't like being in the hospital any more than he did._

" _Good. Someone will be in shortly to add the antibiotics to your IVs. After that, I know it's not the most comfortable bed in the world but try to get some more rest," the doctor said before turning and leaving the room._

" _I know you don't want to be stuck here," Matt said before Gabby could speak. He had clearly noticed her earlier glare. "And I'd rather have you at home too. You need to get better though. Just think of what the alternative could have been."_

" _The alternative as in it wasn't so bad and they would let me out of here," Gabby suggested._

" _I was thinking more along the lines of it was worse. When I found you on the bathroom floor…" Matt's voice trailed off. "I love you so much."_

" _I love you too," Gabby squeezed his hand reassuringly since despite the doctor's assurance that she was expected to make a full recovery, Matt still hadn't let go of her own hand. "It's just, I'm going to go crazy in here, and who wants to be poked and prodded and hooked up to IVs."_

" _The important thing is that it's all helping. You'd be saying the same thing to me if I was the one in that bed," Matt pointed out._

" _Because you'd be saying what I'm saying," Gabby replied._

" _Fair enough, but it doesn't change the fact that all I want is for you to get better," Matt said._

 _At that moment a nurse walked in to setup Gabby's antibiotics. Once she was done, Matt looked at the clock on the wall and then spoke._

" _I'm gonna go call Boden. Let him know what's going on and that we won't be in today," Matt said._

" _It's okay if you want to go to shift," Gabby said. Not really wanting to be left alone, she was hoping Matt would stay, but she also didn't want him to feel forced to hang around the hospital with her._

" _As long as you're here, I'm here," Matt told her. "Right now the only place I want to be is with you. You really scared me Gabby."_

" _I'm sorry," she replied not really knowing what else to say._

 _Once Matt walked out of the room, Gabby reached for the TV remote and started flipping through the channels, hoping to find something worth watching at this early hour. She knew she should probably try to get some more sleep, but she didn't think she'd be able to._

" _So Chief said to tell you to feel better," Matt said as he re-entered the room a few minutes later._

" _If only it were that easy," Gabby sighed._

" _I know. I wish all we had to do was think about you being perfectly healthy and then you would be," Matt said. "He's putting in a request for relief for you and will have Hermann cover for me. Said to take all the time we needed."_

" _He has to say that for me. We both know they're not going to let me back on Truck once I'm discharged," Gabby interjected._

" _And that's a good thing. I don't want you running into a burning building until you're completely symptom free. Pneumonia and smoke don't exactly mix. I also texted Severide to see if he minded swinging by the apartment and bringing me something other than my pajamas. He and Shay are going to stop by on their way to 51," Matt informed her._

" _Okay," Gabby replied. "How do you feel about the news? There's nothing worth watching on TV."_

 _Gabby had almost fallen back asleep when she heard Shay's voice flowing through the hospital halls, waking her back up instantly._

" _Keep your voice down," Severide's own voice flowed, slightly quieter than Shay's but still loud enough to reach Gabby's room. "I'm sure all the patients don't want to hear your babbling."_

" _Oh come on Kelly. I'm not that loud," Shay defended herself._

" _Yes you are. Always," Matt called out._

" _Just be glad you're taking care of my girl or you'd pay for that Casey," Shay said as she and Severide entered the room. Turning her attention towards Gabby she spoke again. "How you doing? We didn't get much from lover boy over there earlier. He seemed to want to get back to you or something"_

" _Okay I guess," Gabby answered simply. "Stuck here for now, and it'll be a while before I'm back on shift. I'm not nearly as bad as I was last night though."_

" _Well, I guess the good thing about you leaving ambo, aside from the fact that you became a kickass firefighter and I'm proud of you, is that since we're not partners anymore, I don't have to worry about getting stuck with someone awful. That's on the Truck guys now. I'll still miss you at the house today though," Shay said._

" _You'll just have to pop up when you drop a patient off here. Keep Matt and me company for a while," Gabby replied._

" _Oh I almost forgot. We brought bagels." Shay held up the bag in her hands._

" _Thanks but they won't let me eat," Gabby informed her friend._

" _Well, I hope you don't mind babe, but I'm starving," as if to prove his point, Matt's stomach growled at that exact moment._

" _We got your clothes too," Severide put the bag he was holding down on the foot on Gabby's bed. "Your place is an ice box by the way. I hope you don't mind but we turned the heat on."_

" _That's my fault," Gabby admitted sheepishly. "I was burning up. Guess it was the fever, but I didn't realize it at the time so I put the AC on."_

" _I'm glad you did. That's what woke me up. If you hadn't, who knows how long you would have spent on the bathroom floor," Matt said._

" _Did you fall?" Severide asked._

" _No. I puked and then was too weak to get back up. I just got really sick really fast and couldn't do anything," Gabby answered._

" _Oh sweetie," Shay sat down next to Gabby and reached over to give her friend a hug._

 _They chatted for a few more minutes while Matt, Shay, and Severide ate their bagels and Gabby looked on jealously. The thought of trying to eat made her a little nauseous again, but that didn't stop her from wishing she could enjoy breakfast with her friends. Afterwards Shay and Severide left for 51 and Matt swapped his pajama pants for the jeans they had brought him._

 _The couple spent the rest of the day hanging around Gabby's hospital room, trying to stave off boredom._

 _Matt only leaving to grab a quick lunch and dinner from the cafeteria and to make a quick run to the gift shop, where he bought a deck of cards, a book of crossword puzzles, and a newspaper in attempt to find ways to occupy their time. As promised, Shay did pop up a few times whenever 61 was dropping a patient off, sometimes bringing Brett with her and sometimes coming up by herself._

 _It was well into the night, at least by the standards of someone who was very sick, when Gabby let out a yawn._

" _Tired?" Matt asked her._

" _Yeah," she replied._

" _Get some rest," he told her as he reached for the TV remote and turned it off._

" _You should too. Have you slept at all since last night?" she asked._

" _I dozed a little while you were sleeping this morning. I'll get some sleep. Don't worry about me," Matt answered._

" _You can't sleep in that chair," she knew exactly what he was thinking._

" _It's fine," he leaned back as if to indicate that the chair was perfectly comfortable. She didn't really believe that though._

" _It can't be comfortable. You're going to hurt your back and neck," Gabby tried to reason with him._

" _I told you earlier. As long as you're here, I'm here," Matt replied._

" _I appreciate that. I do," she told him. "But you're just going to wind up sore, and I don't want you going back to work like that. You could wind up getting hurt. Go home and get some real rest."_

" _Gabby," Matt started to speak._

" _I'll be fine tonight. I promise. I just need to know you'll be too," she cut him off._

" _I'll miss you if I'm not here," he tried a different tact._

" _I know. I wish I could be home and sleep in your arms, but I can't. Now go," she insisted._

" _Even in a hospital bed you're too stubborn to let me win this, aren't you?" he asked._

" _Yes," she said._

" _Fine. You win," he sighed. "I'll be back first thing in the morning."_

" _You better be. I'm going to go crazy in here if I have to spend too much time by myself," Gabby replied._

" _I love you," Matt leaned in to kiss her._

" _I love you too," she told him._

" _Gabby, don't you ever scare me like that again," Matt added as he got ready to leave._

* * *

A couple days after Gabby's surgery, Matt found himself sitting at her bedside, still holding her hand, with Antonio seated across from him. Gabby's parents had gone to the cafeteria to get them all some lunch. Something didn't feel right though. Gabby's hand was clammy and hot, and it wasn't the sort of warmth that comes from having someone hold your hand. After having barely let go of her hand for so many days, Matt knew exactly what that felt like.

Reaching up with his spare hand, Matt stroked Gabby's forehead and cheek. They felt hot too and were covered in a thin layer of sweat.

"Does she feel warm to you?" Matt asked Antonio, who reached over and touched Gabby's face and neck.

"Yeah," Antonio nodded.

"We need to let someone know," Matt said, a bad feeling starting to form in his stomach. Not wanting to leave Gabby's side, Matt pressed the call button that was on the side of the bed.

"What's going on?" a nurse asked as she entered the room a few moments later.

"She's unusually hot and sweating," Matt gave Gabby's hand a slight squeeze as she spoke.

"We haven't been monitoring her temperature. Let me get a thermometer," the nurse headed for a drawer and them came back towards the bed, carrying the thermometer.

Antonio shifted slightly so that the nurse had better access, and then the nurse put the thermometer in Gabby's mouth.

At that moment, Gaby and Antonio's parents returned to the room. They were each carrying a tray of food and drink, but they were not expecting to find a nurse hovering over their daughter.

"What's going on?" Gabby's mom asked, her voice filled with alarm.

"Matt and I thought Gabby felt a little warm," Antonio explained.

"Her temperature's 99.6. Slightly elevated but probably not anything to worry about. I'll make sure her doctors know though," the nurse told them. Although it did nothing to quell the sinking feeling in Matt's stomach.

"Thank you," Gabby's mother wasn't really sure what else to say.

After the nurse left, Gabby's parents got settled and handed Matt and Antonio their lunches, a turkey club with chips for Matt and a personal pepperoni pizza for Antonio. Gabby's parents took their own lunches, a chef's salad for Gabby's mother and a cheeseburger with fries for Gabby's dad. The four of them spent more time holding their lunches than eating though. Even if it wasn't quite a fever, Gabby's elevated temperature was weighing on all their minds.

Combined the four of them had eaten maybe a quarter of their lunch when Dr. Sanders arrived nearly an hour later.

"How is she?" Gabby's mom asked as soon as the doctor entered the room.

"Most likely okay," Dr. Sanders said. "As you know, her temperature is a little high, but not high enough for us to really worry at this point. In the hospital, there's always the possibility that a patient picks something up so we'll give her something for the fever and start monitoring her temperature."

Dr. Sanders put an adhesive pad on Gabby's chest and hooked it up to a wire coming out of one of the machines that surrounded her. The monitor started to show her temperature. It had gone up and now read as 100.5.

"I wouldn't worry at this point," Dr. Sanders seemed to sense the concern that instantly filled the other four conscious people in the room. "She probably just picked up a virus here in the hospital. We'll give the Tylenol some time to work, and if it doesn't look like it working, then we'll run some tests."

It didn't work. Gabby's temperature kept going up, leaving Matt and her family to wonder how high it would be if it wasn't for the Tylenol and how high it would go before her doctors did something else. Her temperature was up to nearly 103 when the medical staff returned, asking Matt and the Dawson's to step aside so they could examine Gabby.

Antonio and his parents moved off to the side, leaning against the wall out of the way. Matt couldn't help once again pacing though. It seemed to be the only way he could deal with the stress every time he was forced to face that possibility of something else going wrong with Gabby or maybe it was the only way he could deal with not being able to touch her when she hadn't yet come back to them. He wasn't really sure.

His movements didn't stop him from noticing it though. When walking back towards the window, he had the perfect view over Dr. Sanders's shoulder. As a nurse stood on one side of Gabby drawing blood, Dr. Sanders was on the other side, removing bandages. He pulled one off of Gabby's left hip, revealing a row of stitches. This was clearly where the surgeon had cut into her hip, only it wasn't the stitches that caught his attention. The area around the incision was red and puffy and covered in puss.

"What's wrong?" Gabby's father noticed the frown that formed on Dr. Sanders's face when he removed one of the bandages but from the other side of the bed, couldn't see what the doctor and Matt could.

"We need to run some tests to be certain, but it looks like one of the surgical incision sites has become infected," Dr. Sanders informed them before turning his attention to the nurse, who had finished the blood draw. "Julie would you wind taking them out to the waiting room?"

Matt, Antonio, and Mr. and Mrs. Dawson reluctantly followed Julie out of the room, knowing that it was probably best to not be in the way.

"What happens now?" Antonio asked once they were in the waiting room.

"Dr. Sanders is checking the other few incision sites to make sure that nothing looks wrong with them," Julie explained. "They'll start her on broad-spectrum antibiotics now to be safe, and test the tissue around the site to confirm that its infected and identify what bacteria is causing the problem. The doctors will use that information to determine which antibiotic is going to be most effective and then change what she's being given. They'll clean and debride the wound and drain any puss. They'll also start changing her bandages more often. That will allow them to keep the wound clean and keep an eye on it. The other thing they'll do is run some bloodwork to make sure the infection hasn't spread and that there isn't anything else going on that caused the fever."

"Her last operation was four days ago. Why didn't you catch this earlier?" Matt asked accusingly.

"She hasn't shown any symptoms before today. That's not uncommon. It often takes a while for a post-op infection to take hold. Look I know these past couple of weeks haven't been easy on any of you, but we're doing everything we can for Gabby. I get that it may not be the most comforting thing right now, but she has some great doctors. You can trust them with her," Julie responded. "It's dinner time. Why don't you head down to the cafeteria? They may be able to let you back into Gabby's room when you're done."

"I can't imagine trying to eat anything right now," Matt stated and then immediately resumed his pacing.

* * *

Still pacing, Matt didn't notice Dr. Sanders arrival. His back was to the door when the man walked into the waiting room. The glimpse of movement he saw out of the corner of his eye alerted him to the fact that something was going on. Turning towards the movement, he saw the three Dawson's stand up. Following their lead, he shifted towards the door.

"How is she?" Gabby's mother asked.

"I have good news, and I have bad news," Dr. Sanders began. Overcome with fear, Matt tensed instantly. The second part of the sentence was the main thing he'd heard, causing worst case scenarios to start forming in his mind.

"Start with the bad news," Gabby's father instructed as he tightened his grip on his wife's hand. He hoped that ending with the good news would help lessen the blow from whatever the bad news was.

"So far Gabriella's fever hasn't started going down. It's actually continued to go up, and is currently at 104," Dr. Sanders told them. "A temperature that high is a major concern, and we're monitoring her closely. When you go back into Gabriela's room, you'll notice we've got some cooling blankets around her as well as some additional IVs. The good news is that we know the cause of the fever. We confirmed that one of the incision sites from her surgery earlier this week has become infected. It's a bacterial infection, and the lab is still working to identify the specific bacteria. That said, we've started her on antibiotics. Once we've identified the specific bacteria, we may adjust accordingly, but now that we're actually treating the cause of the fever, it should start coming down soon. The infection looks to still be confined to the incision site. It's somewhat deep, affecting the surrounding tissue, but there aren't any signs that would indicate its spread. To be safe we'll keep monitoring Gabriela for any sign that the infection has started to spread or that its led to sepsis."

"When can we see her?" Matt was desperate to be back at Gabby's side.

"You're welcome to return to her room whenever you'd like," Dr. Sanders replied.

Matt immediately made a beeline out of the waiting room towards Gabby. Antonio and his parents stayed behind, talking to the doctor.

"Oh Gabby," Matt whispered once he entered the room, a tear falling from his eye. He wasn't sure if it was out of relief because they knew what was wrong and it wasn't worse or fear because there was still no guarantee that she would be okay or anger and sadness at the fact that any of this was happening in the first place. It wasn't fair. Gabby didn't deserve this. Maybe after everything that had happened in the months and weeks and hours leading up to the accident, he deserved to suffer the way he was, but if this was his punishment, then Gabby was the collateral damage. The thought had been gnawing at him for nearly two weeks, and he hated himself for having possibly helped put her here. Matt couldn't think of anyone who deserved to have all of this happen to them less than Gabby did.

"I'm so sorry baby," he added as he moved towards his chair.

A few minutes later Antonio and his parents made their way into the room and settled in. No one left that night, and Matt couldn't help hoping that this wasn't about to become the norm. While he couldn't understand how Gabby's family could bring themselves to leave the hospital, he had come to cherish the time when he was the only one here with her. It wasn't the same as being alone with Gabby when she was awake, but it was still time when it was just him and his love.

* * *

The antibiotics and care the medical staff was giving to the infected area seemed to be working. The infection never spread and over the next few days Gabby's fever gradually came down until finally it was gone. Really the only problem was that she still hadn't shown any sign of emerging from the coma.

Shortly after Gabby had been declared officially infection free, Matt found himself alone in her room.

"They're saying you should be fine," Matt said to her. "I don't see how they can say that when you haven't woken up yet. I really wish you would wake up. At least the infection's gone. You have no idea how terrified I was when your fever kept going up. It was almost as bad as that first day when you were in surgery, and we didn't know if you were going to live. I love you so much Gabby. Don't you ever scare me like that again."

* * *

Author's Note: I don't know if anyone caught it, but if someone did and was wondering, Matt's words at the end of both the dreamworld and real world sections were not a coincidence. Make of that what you will.

Anyways, until next time, hope you enjoyed this latest installment. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: As always thank you to all my reviewers and everyone who's followed or favorited this story.

Once again I'm sorry for the long delay between chapters. Life has still been really busy, and as I'm sure you can tell, this chapter wound up being insanely long. I actually thought about breaking it into two chapters, but in the end, I couldn't come up with a good way to do that so I left the whole massive thing together.

Now I did base much of this chapter on a couple of episodes from season 3 albeit, but with a bunch of changes, including stretching out the show's timeline in order to fit my storylines. This is especially true in the dreamworld section, where I actually tried rewriting an episode in the context on the dreamworld. Some of the dialogue and events come directly from the show (or at least what I think they were saying), other parts mirror the show but with some changes, and the rest is complete rewrites. I figure there's no way Gabby would remember exactly what happened and what had been said. For the real world, I pulled a scene and its aftermath and twisted the majority of the circumstances to fit what I've done. No theft of anything is intended though.

One last thing before I leave you to chapter seventeen. Now that we've met Gabby and Antonio's parents on the show, I figured I'd use their actual names instead of continually referring to them as Gabby's mother and Gabby's father. I think the show said that her mother is named Amelia, but I don't recall her father's name being mentioned. Was it? If anyone picked up what it was, would you mind letting me know. Thanks : ).

Now here's chapter seventeen. Hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

" _God, its freezing out," Gabby said, letting out a shiver for effect as she and Matt made their way into 51._

 _Matt's arm was wrapped around her shoulder. The need for professionalism around the firehouse being far outweighed by the warmth generated by the proximity of their bodies as well as Matt's concern for her. She hadn't been herself this morning, and Matt had picked up on it. He'd chalked it up to nerves about it being her first shift back. She'd been off for the past month following her bout with pneumonia. That wasn't what had her nervous though. She was actually excited to be back at work and looking forward to experiencing the rush of being a firefighter again instead of the boredom and stress that came from sitting at home, not knowing what sort of dangerous situation Matt might be in at the moment while she wasn't there and had nothing to distract her from her thoughts. She didn't understand how Donna and Cindy did it every day, but after the past month, she had a new admiration for them._

 _Still she let him believe that was the issue because she couldn't exactly explain what really had her nervous. Today was February 10_ _th_ _, also known as the last day she had spent in her own world. It was this afternoon that she'd walked out to an ambulance, although she couldn't quite remember why, only to suddenly find herself sitting in a waiting room at Chicago Med more than two months in the past, receiving the most amazing gift she'd ever been given. Her best friend and a second chance with the man she loved more than anything. Now she was terrified that in six or seven hours it would all be ripped away from her, and she'd once again find herself secretly miserable and full of regret in the world she had come from or in some other alternate reality. How would things once again change if she wound up somewhere else? Was there some other way in which things could get better or were they bound to get worse?_

" _I know. At least we're here," Matt said as he opened the door for her._

 _Walking onto the apparatus floor, they found Capp leaning over 61's open front hood while Shay and Brett looked on._

" _What's going on?" Matt asked._

" _Dawson!" Shay ignored Matt's question and ran towards her best friend, engulfing her in a tight hug. "It's great to have you back."_

" _Damn girl, you'd think you hadn't seen me in the entire month I was off or something," Gabby chuckled._

" _Sorry. This place just hasn't been the same without you. You know?" Shay said._

" _That's what you've been telling me for the past three weeks," Gabby replied. She hoped they weren't offending anyone, especially Brett. While she and Shay had started befriending the young blonde over the past two months, it was clear to everyone that while Brett had taken Gabby's spot on 61, Gabby and Shay were still the dynamic duo of Firehouse 51. She wouldn't be surprised if it made Brett feel like she was still somewhat of an outsider._

" _Honestly though, it's really good to be back. Home may have been better than the hospital, but I've missed this place," Gabby added._

" _It's missed you too," Matt smiled at her._

" _Welcome back Dawson," Brett hugged her once Shay finally let go._

" _Thanks," Gabby returned Brett's hug._

" _I'd hug you too Dawson but well," Capp smiled as he held up his hands._

" _Yeah. You better not get that oil or grease or whatever it is on me," Gabby teased._

" _What's going on?" Matt motioned towards the ambo as he repeated his question from earlier._

" _It won't start. With the weather, Fleet Maintenance is all backed up so Capp offered to take a look," Shay explained._

" _Look on the bright side. If you can't get it started, then you get to stay in this warmth all day," Gabby said._

" _Now you sound like Joe," Brett said. "He's been complaining about how cold it is non-stop. I love winter though. Yeah its cold, but it's pretty. A new year. A new beginning. And you get to look forward to what's going to happen, including it getting warmer."_

" _It may be pretty in rural Indiana. Downtown Chicago not so much," Shay warned her partner. "Here the snow just winds up in dirty piles, and you'll find there's a lot more accidents so there's a lot more calls."_

" _Don't jinx today Shay," Capp interjected._

" _We should get changed. Don't want to be late for roll call on your first day back, Candidate," Matt said, and with that Gabby was officially back at work and Matt was officially once again her boss._

 _As she made her way to the locker room and then the briefing room, she was greeted with hugs and welcome backs from almost everyone, but the response was more muted than she would have expected. When she missed a few shifts after getting suspended a couple of years ago, everyone had seemed much happier to see her when she came back. She hoped it was just because she was the candidate and not because they weren't glad to have her back. Maybe it was easier on everyone when she wasn't working Truck with them or with Matt._

* * *

" _We have a bonafied weather emergency," Boden said as roll call began. "Temperature down to below 15. Wind chill is down to 40 below. Cold weather has knocked out the service at the alarm office. 9-1-1 is down. It is war out there, and we've got to be prepared."_

" _Motorized tools, silver bullets, anything that can freeze needs to be protected," Matt interjected. "Ten minutes exposed is ten minutes too long."_

" _It is us against the raging bitch side of Chicago. I expect us all to hold our own out there," Boden continued. "Now to finish up with some good news, I'd like to welcome Dawson back from medical leave. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we missed having you here."_

" _Thanks Chief," Gabby smiled as she got a round of applause._

" _Dismissed," Boden said once the applause died down._

* * *

" _I'm glad you're back, Candidate," Matt said as they made their way onto the apparatus floor, carrying rock salt a while later._

" _It's good to be back, Lieutenant," Gabby zipped her coat up as she walked, knowing that she would be going outside and would need more than just her uniform to keep warm._

" _Take this one and start salting," he said as he handed her the last bag._

 _Gabby took the bag and started heading towards the door._

" _You got this?" Matt asked as he came back up to her a moment later._

" _Yeah," she smiled at him._

" _Gabby, I shouldn't be saying this but if it starts getting too cold out there, come back inside for a few minutes. I don't want you freezing out there," Matt told her._

" _I'll be fine Matt," she replied. "And you're right, you shouldn't be saying that Lieutenant."_

" _Not that long ago you were in the hospital, and I know you're perfectly healthy and have been for a few weeks, but I can't help worrying about something putting you back there. Cold weather and pneumonia don't exactly go together," he explained._

" _I know, but you have nothing to worry about," she reassured him. "First of all, the cold cannot actually give me pneumonia. That's a myth. Could it give me hypothermia or frostbite? Sure, but I'm all layered and gloved up so I should be good, and even if it did make me sick, there's enough medical supplies around here to treat me without making me go to the hospital. You're welcome to stand by the door and keep an eye on me if it'll make you feel better. Might raise some eyebrows though. I probably should get out there though before someone notices me lingering."_

 _Almost as if on cue, Hermann walked towards them._

" _Dawson, what are you still doing here? Standing around isn't going to salt the driveway" he said. It seemed he hadn't seen Casey yet._

" _Yeah. You better get out there," Matt said as if trying to hide the fact that he was the one keeping her._

" _I'm going. I'm going," Gabby replied in a huff as she made her way towards the door._

 _Once outside, she opened the bag of rock salt, scooped it up, and tried to throw it evenly on the driveway. Having never done this before, she wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do. Maybe she should ask someone when she went back in to get the next bag._

 _Making her way down the driveway, Gabby noticed a box sitting near the end of the driveway. Stopping what she was doing, she made her way towards it._

" _Oh my God," Gabby said once she looked in the box. There was a little baby, wrapped in a pink blanket with a little pink and white hat on her head. Other than that she was left to the elements. It was no wonder she wasn't crying._

 _Gabby dropped the bag, spilling the rock salt everywhere. She picked the little girl up and felt for a pulse, relieved to find one._

" _Matt! Matt!" Gabby yelled as she ran back into the firehouse._

 _Fortunately, Matt and Hermann were still standing in front of 81._

" _Gabby, what's wrong?" Matt raced towards her, concern evident in his voice._

" _I found her in a box outside," Gabby turned her arms so that Matt and Hermann could see the baby. "She's still alive. Cold but alive. We need to check her for hypothermia."_

" _How long do you think she's been out there?" Hermann asked._

" _She wasn't there when we got here," Gabby answered._

" _That was just under an hour ago," Matt added._

" _Okay, let's get her inside," Hermann said._

 _The three of them made their way into the house, where they found most of 51 hanging around the common room._

" _Isn't the candidate supposed to be salting the driveway?" Otis observed as they approached the group._

" _Shay, Brett," Matt called the two paramedics over. Worried most of the house followed the two paramedics towards the three firefighters._

" _I just found a baby outside," Gabby explained as she tilted the little girl so that they could see her. The group then made their way towards the bunk room, where Shay and Brett examined the baby on Gabby's bed._

" _It's our job is to get her the best care she can get. Shay, Brett get her to Chicago Med. I'll call DCFS," the Chief said once the examination was finished._

" _Would love to Chief, but my ambulance is still out of commission," Shay said as she eyed Capp._

" _I'm making progress," Capp defended himself._

" _Fix it. Now," Boden ordered. "In the meanwhile, I've got some stuff for Terrence in my trunk."_

" _I think she needs a diaper change," Brett said as she picked the little girl up off the bed._

" _I'll do it," Gabby volunteered as most of the guys started wandering away. Matt stayed though and she was pretty sure she saw a smile on his face as she changed the diaper._

" _I know I'm supposed to finish with the driveway, but someone needs to watch her," she said once it was just her and Matt._

" _Of course. I'll get someone else to take care of the driveway," he squeezed her shoulder. "I've got some tools I need to take care of, but you just focus on this little one."_

* * *

" _How could someone just abandon their baby, especially on a day like today?" Otis asked as she entered the common room a little while later._

" _Well she's safe now," Gabby replied. She could feel Matt's eyes on her. Taking her eyes off the baby for a moment, she looked up to meet his. He was definitely staring at her and the baby and once again he was smiling._

" _So the good news is, the ambo is up and running. The bad news is they got a call so it'll be a while longer," Capp said as he entered the common room followed by a woman._

" _Grace," the woman exclaimed, grabbing Gabby's attention. Gabby just stared at her. There was something familiar about this woman, but she wasn't sure why. As far as Gabby knew, she had never met or even seen this woman before but she couldn't shake the strange feeling she got when she laid eyes on her._

" _What's going on?" she asked as she turned slightly, her instincts telling her to turn and protect the baby._

" _That's my baby," the woman replied._

 _Gabby wasn't sure what to say. For some reason that didn't seem right._

" _I'll get the Chief," Otis volunteered, getting up and leaving the room while Matt came to her side._

 _The woman reached for the baby, prompting Gabby to move away from her and Matt to take up a protective stance. Every time the woman tried approaching them, they moved further back until finally she gave up. Then the three of them just stood in awkward silence until finally the Chief entered the room._

" _Otis tells me you're claiming this baby is yours," Boden addressed the woman._

" _Not claiming. That's my daughter Grace," the woman insisted._

" _Then how did she wind up in a box outside a firehouse?" Gabby glared at her._

" _Her father, my ex, he kidnapped her this morning and dropped her here to punish me," the woman explained._

" _We're going to need DCFS to look into this and approve before we can give the child back to you," Boden told her._

" _No. She's my baby," the woman said._

" _I understand you're frustrated but the system exists to protect both of you," Boden explained. "If you'll come with me, I need a little more information to give DCFS. It'll probably help move things along if after we're done, you could go home and get documentation to support your claim, a birth certificate or something, that we could give to DCFS."_

 _The woman followed the Chief towards his office. Feeling a need to get the baby farther from the woman, Gabby moved towards the bunkroom. Matt stayed at her side._

" _Something isn't right Matt," Gabby said once they were outside his office door._

" _What do you mean?" he asked._

" _I don't know how I know, but that woman is lying," she insisted._

" _Gabby," Matt looked at her with concern in his eyes._

" _I'm not crazy," she told him._

" _I know you're not," he replied. "Just whether this is that woman's daughter or not, whatever happens next is up to DCFS. If they determine that woman is her mother, you're going to have to give this little one to her no matter what you believe."_

" _I know," she said. "But for now I'm just going to do whatever I can look out for this little one."_

 _As Gabby took a seat on her bunk, the baby started to fuss a little._

" _Do you think everything's okay?" Matt asked._

" _Babies can sense what's going on around them. She probably just picked up on all the tension from when that woman was here," Gabby theorized as she began to rock her._

" _You sure?" Matt followed up when the baby hadn't calmed down a few minutes later._

" _Well, she doesn't need her diaper changed. Maybe she's hungry?" Gabby suggested._

" _I can go see if Chief has anything we can use to give her a bottle," Matt offered._

" _That would be great," Gabby replied._

" _Chief had some formula and a bottle. He helped me warm it up so it shouldn't be too hot," Matt said when he returned a few minutes later._

 _He handed her the bottle and sat down next to Gabby as she fed the baby. She couldn't help but think that even though this wasn't their child, right here with her and Matt and a little girl, this moment was pretty close to perfect._

" _You want to hold her?" Gabby asked as she put the bottle down having finished feeding the baby._

" _Sure," Matt said._

" _Just hold her head," Gabby said as she placed the baby in his arms. "There you go."_

 _Matt looked at her and smiled before turning his attention to the little girl, a look of pure joy on his face, and she realized she was wrong earlier. Now the moment was perfect._

* * *

 _Gabby and the baby were alone in the bunkroom when Chief Boden came in with a woman. Matt had gone into his office earlier to get some paperwork done. Although she was pretty sure that out of the corner of her eye she had caught him glancing up at them every so often._

" _Dawson, this is Terrence's pediatrician, Dr. Higgins. She was nice enough to come down to take a look at Grace and make sure she's okay while we wait for DCFS," the Chief said._

" _We don't know she's Grace," Gabby pointed out._

" _Dawson," the Chief started to warn her as Matt came out of his office._

" _Everything okay out here?" Matt asked. He must have looked up and noticed the tension starting to form between Gabby and the Chief._

" _Yeah," Gabby reassured him. "This is Dr. Higgins. Chief brought her here to exam the baby."_

" _And on that note, would you mind if I take a look?" Dr. Higgins asked._

" _Go ahead," Gabby said as she moved off to the side a bit so the doctor could take a seat on the bed._

" _I need to get back to my office. You good here?" Boden asked Dr. Higgins._

" _Yeah," the doctor replied._

" _We checked her vitals earlier. Everything seemed fine," Gabby said._

" _What were they?" Dr. Higgins asked, prompting Gabby to recite them from memory as the doctor continued her examination._

" _She seems pretty healthy, especially for a preemie," Dr. Higgins said._

" _A preemie?" Matt asked._

" _Yeah," the Dr. Higgins replied._

" _How can you tell?" Gabby asked._

" _This scar right here," Dr. Higgins explained as she pointed out a spot on the baby's tummy. "She would have had to fight to survive. Probably spent a month or so in the NICU."_

" _But she's fine now?" Gabby was worried._

" _Yeah. Getting left outside a firehouse on a day like today couldn't have helped, but it doesn't look like it hurt either," Dr. Higgins reassured her._

 _At that moment Chief Boden's voice came over the intercom announcing that all companies were being called to a hazmat situation._

" _It's a level one hazmat situation. No one will think less of you if you stay here," Matt seemed to sense her desire to not leave the baby behind._

" _You sure?" Gabby asked._

" _Yeah," Matt told her._

" _I think I will then," Gabby announced._

" _Okay. I'll see you when we get back," Matt leaned over and kissed her cheek before squeezing the baby's hand._

" _Totally inappropriate Lieutenant," Gabby pointed out but Matt just smiled at her before heading towards the door._

" _Be careful out there," she called after him._

" _I need to get back to my office, but here's my number if you need anything," Dr. Higgins spoke again once the moment was over._

" _Thanks," Gabby said before turning her attention back to the little girl in her arms._

* * *

 _Gabby was walking through the common room singing to the baby when the woman from earlier walked in._

" _I brought the papers you asked for," the woman said._

" _Alright. Why don't you take a seat," for some reason Gabby's nerves shot up and a bad feeling settled in her stomach._

 _The woman sat down and Gabby took a seat on the other side of the table, still feeling like she needed to protect the baby from this woman._

" _She's beautiful, isn't she?" the woman commented._

" _Yeah. She is," Gabby agreed._

" _When she was born all the nurses said she was a miracle. Called her the healthiest, most beautiful baby they'd ever seen so I decided to name her Grace," the woman said._

" _Healthiest?" the bad feeling in Gabby's stomach worsened. She trusted Dr. Higgins, which meant that she was right earlier. This woman was lying._

" _Yeah. She was just immediately perfect," the woman beamed as she spoke._

" _So she didn't spend long in the NICU?" Gabby queried._

" _Not long," the tone in the woman's voice shifted as if she could tell her story was falling apart._

" _Can I see those papers?" Gabby asked._

" _Here. These are some medical papers I had and her ultrasound," the woman pushed the folder towards her._

" _You don't have her birth certificate?" Gabby pointed out._

" _No. Mike took it when he took her this morning," the woman tried to explain it away._

" _Can you hold on for a second? I need to talk to the Chief," Gabby started to get up._

" _Why don't you let me hold her while you do that," the woman stood up as well._

" _That's against protocol," Gabby said as she started to back away._

" _Then I can't let you go anywhere until you give me that baby," the woman pulled out a gun, pointing it at Gabby._

" _You need to put that down and get out of here," Gabby tried to remain calm._

" _Not until you give me the baby," the woman yelled._

" _Not going to happen," Gabby stood her ground._

" _Then I'll shoot you bitch," the woman insisted._

" _You're not even going to make it a block before the amber alert goes off," Gabby tried to argue._

" _I'll take my chances. Give me the baby or I shoot," the woman cocked the gun._

 _At that moment, Chief Boden walked in and the woman turned her gun towards him, allowing Gabby to back away slightly._

" _Stay right there," the woman warned the Chief as they heard the garage doors start to open._

" _Hear that," the Chief spoke calmly. "That's the sound of firefighters returning from a call. You are out of time."_

" _Give me the baby," the woman yelled._

" _No," Gabby shot back._

" _I'll shoot all of you," the woman said._

 _Out of the corner of her eye, Gabby saw Matt walk through the double doors that led to the apparatus floor. His men were right behind him._

" _Careful. She's got a gun," Boden warned them._

 _Gabby's eyes locked with Matt's as the firefighters all started to raise their hands._

" _It's going to be okay," Matt mouthed to her right before she turned around slightly, wanting to shield the baby in case this mad woman did actually fire the gun._

" _Otis, call CPD," Boden ordered._

 _Otis went towards the office area, and the woman turned her gun from the men in the doorway to Gabby to Boden and back again before lowering it and running off through the side door._

" _Gabby," Matt rushed towards her. "You okay?"_

" _Yeah," her voice was shaky as she spoke. Boden took the baby, and Matt immediately pulled her into a tight embrace, undoubtedly noticing the fact that she was shaking._

" _I love you," he whispered in her ear._

" _I love you too," she mumbled into his chest. She knew they weren't acting like Lieutenant and Candidate. It was technically a line they had been crossing on an off all day from his worry over her after the pneumonia to the way they both seemed to react to the sight of the other holding the baby to right now. Earlier it just hadn't been as blatant as it currently was. Logically she knew they weren't supposed to be acting this way at the firehouse, but she really hoped no one would say anything. After what had just happened, the comfort of Matt's arms was exactly where she wanted to be._

" _I take it she wasn't really the baby's mother," Hermann spoke after a few moments._

" _No. The papers she brought in were clearly off the internet, and when I refused to hand the baby over, she pulled out the gun," Gabby and Matt shifted slightly so that she could look at everyone else as she spoke. He kept an arm around her and continued to hold her close though. She was pretty sure that having walked in on someone pointing a gun at her, he needed this just as much as she did._

" _Can I have the baby back?" she asked the Chief._

" _Sure," Boden handed her the baby. With the baby back in her arms, Matt guided her towards the couch, where they took a seat, his arm still securely around her as she leaned into his chest._

" _It's like she didn't even know she had a reason to be scared," Gabby observed as she looked down at the baby, who was smiling back and her and Matt._

 _At that moment, they heard the garage doors open again, signaling that Ambulance 61 was back._

" _What's up with all the somber faces?" Shay asked as she and Brett made their way into the common room a few minutes later._

" _Some whack job came in here claiming to be the little one's mom. Pulled a gun on Dawson and the Chief when she couldn't prove it," Hermann explained._

" _Wow. Everyone okay?" Shay asked, prompting Gabby to just nod as she leaned a little more into Matt, not wanting to think about what just happened._

" _Just got off the phone with CPD and Main," Boden said as he re-entered the common room, surprising Gabby, who hadn't even noticed him leave. "They've got an alert out on the woman, and the situation's been upgraded to an emergency. An ambo is on its way."_

" _Now that we're back, we can take her," Shay smirked at Gabby._

" _Let me just make sure they can cancel that other ambo. With everything down, I don't want to create any unnecessary confusion," Boden said._

 _A few minutes later, Boden informed them that 61 was clear to take the baby to Chicago Med, and Gabby and Matt were following Shay and Brett._

" _Is it okay if I go with her?" Gabby asked Matt as they stood next to the rig. "I don't want her to just leave her all alone."_

" _Sure," Matt replied._

" _Thanks Matt," Gabby smiled at him._

" _Of course. I'll see you in the morning," Matt told her._

" _Yeah. Be careful out there," Gabby climbed into the back of the ambo with the baby to join Shay._

" _Always," Matt said as he closed the doors and signaled to Brett that she was good to go._

" _Aww, isn't that sweet?" Shay teased as the ambulance sped out of the garage. "You two really are the perfect couple."_

" _Not perfect but doing a lot better," Gabby whispered, not wanting to risk Brett overhearing in the front. As much as she wanted to develop a strong friendship with the young blonde in this world and believed she was starting to, Shay would always be her best friend and closest confidant, and was thus, the only one who knew just how bad things had gotten between her and Matt, and Gabby would prefer to keep it that way._

" _Good. After all those years watching you pine for him, I don't think I could deal with Casey and Dawson not making it," Shay claimed._

" _I don't think we'd be here without you," Gabby truly believed it._

" _Aww, now you're getting all mushy on me," Shay laughed before changing the subject. "That was some first shift back, huh? Finding an abandoned baby and being held at gunpoint. Certainly, doesn't happen every day."_

" _Didn't even get to go on a call," Gabby said almost wistfully. "Was really looking forward to being back out there, but this little one is just so cute."_

" _Did you see the way Casey's face lit up when he saw you holding the baby? I think the guy managed to fall even more in love with you today," Shay teased._

 _Gabby didn't say anything. She just blushed._

" _I bet it got him thinking about the future," Shay said once she realized she wasn't going to get a response. Seeing that Gabby still wasn't saying anything she added something as she smirked. "And it got you thinking about it to, didn't it?"_

" _Matt's always wanted to be a father, and I've always wanted to be a mother. You know that," Gabby finally spoke. "And I'd be lying if I said that as much as I tried not to, I didn't sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to be the mother of his children long before I ever thought it would even be possible. Now it's not just possible; it's the future we're planning on having. So yeah spending part of the day with Matt and a baby got me thinking about it. I didn't have to just imagine what it would be like, but I actually got to see it. Not that I didn't know it before, but he's going to be an incredible father."_

" _You're going to be a great mom too Dawson, and your kids are going to be lucky to have you. You and Casey are going to have these perfect kids, and you'll all be this perfect family. It'll all be perfectly perfect," Shay insisted. "Just promise me that I'll get to be godmother and the honorary aunt who's a bad influence."_

" _I wouldn't have it any other way," Gabby laughed at the contradiction._

" _We're here," Brett called from the front of the rig as the ambulance slowed to a stop._

* * *

 _Gabby felt a pain in her neck as she woke up and lifted her head, which was hanging awkwardly against her shoulder and a wall. Rubbing her neck, she realized that she was sitting in a chair in a Chicago Med waiting room. She was startled and frightened to find herself waking up in such a location after finding a baby outside Fifty One and going with her to the hospital. Last time this had happened to her, she had wound up in a wonderful new world. Taking a look around she discovered that this time she wasn't waking up surrounded by her colleagues, and she was on a pediatric floor. It also looked to be early morning. Hopefully, these were signs that she had stayed in this reality. She was contemplating getting up and asking for the date when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Taking it out, she saw a text from Matt._

" _Just about ready to head out. You at home or did you spend the night at the hospital?" it read._

" _Still at Med," she texted back, realizing that she must have simply fallen asleep while waiting for the baby's grandparents to arrive._

" _I'll see you there then," Matt wrote back._

 _While she waited for Matt to arrive, Gabby settled back into the chair she'd spent the night in, and started scrolling through pictures from the past couple months of her and Matt and her and Shay on her phone. A large smile formed on her face as she did so. She was so relieved to find herself still right here with the two of them at her side._

" _Morning," the sound of Matt's voice pulled Gabby's attention off her phone a little while later._

" _Morning," she got up and hugged him, craning her neck._

" _You okay?" Matt noticed the movement._

" _I accidentally fell asleep in the chair, and I guess my neck didn't like the position I wound up in," Gabby explained._

" _Come here," Matt reached for her and started massaging the base on her neck. "Were they able to find out anything about the baby?"_

" _Yeah," Gabby recalled what the woman from DCFS had told her last night. "Her name is Sophia. Her mother's only seventeen. She ran away about a year ago only to return home after finding out she was pregnant. I guess she stayed with her parents for a few months before and after Sophia was born, but she ran away again last week, taking the baby with her. Sophia's grandparents called the police when they realized the two of them were gone, but they live in Peoria, which is why CPD wasn't able to make the connection when Chief called them yesterday morning. Anyways, DCFS got in touch with them last night, and they were going to drive up right away."_

" _It's good that she has someone besides whoever left her outside 51. I assume that was her mother," Matt said._

" _That's my guess and DCFS's too. I'm pretty sure the grandparents will be given custody after this. DCFS wanted to talk to them first given the whole runaway situation," Gaby explained._

" _Makes sense," Matt replied._

" _Do you mind if we go see Sophia before heading out?" Gabby asked. "I want to make sure she's okay."_

" _Of course, I wouldn't mind seeing her again myself," Matt answered._

" _Good. Her room's right there," Gabby pointed two doors down from the nurse's desk. Taking Matt's hand, she guided him to Sophia's room, where she saw a couple standing around the crib the baby was in._

" _Ms. Dawson?" the woman stood up and approached Gabby and Matt._

" _That's me," Gabby replied._

" _I'm Nora Weaver, and this is my husband Carl," the woman introduced herself. "I understand you're the one who found and took care of Sophia. We can't thank you enough."_

" _You're welcome. This is Lt. Casey. He and everyone we work with helped out too," she responded._

" _Gabby did most of it though," Matt said proudly._

" _By any chance did you see Alyssa?" Carl asked from his spot by the crib, his attention still on the little girl that lay within it._

" _Alyssa?" Matt queried, not knowing who she was referring to._

" _Our daughter. Sophia's mother," Nora explained._

" _No. I'm sorry, but when I found Sophia, she had been left in a box near the base of driveway at our firehouse. There was no sign of who had left her or anyone else," Gabby informed the couple._

" _When she came home pregnant, I thought she'd finally gotten her head on straight and was done with Ross. The fact that she took Sophia and wound up here…" Nora's voice trailed off._

" _We just wanted to check in on Sophia and make sure she was okay," Gabby took the chance to interject, starting to feel a little awkward as the woman seemed to be on the verge of baring her soul to her and Matt._

" _The doctors say she's doing fine thanks to you. I don't even want to think what would have happened if you hadn't found her," Nora said._

" _I'm glad I was there. She's such a cutie," Gabby said before she and Matt made their way to the crib and spent a few minutes looking at Sophia before deciding it was time to leave._

" _Do you want to stop for breakfast on the way home?" Matt asked as Gabby gathered her stuff in the waiting room._

" _Sounds good. I could use some real food after grabbing dinner in the cafeteria last night," Gabby smiled._

* * *

" _You know as soon as she got back from dropping you two off at Med, Shay swarmed my office wanting to talk about our future kids," Matt said once they were settled into their booth at Over Easy. They'd been here so many times that they didn't need to waste time looking at the menu and thus were able to just sit down and talk._

" _I'm sorry," Gabby laughed. "I was hoping she had gotten it all out of her system when we were in the ambo."_

" _So you got an earful too," Matt observed._

" _Yup," Gabby replied. "She kept going on about how we were going to be perfect parents to these perfect kids and how great it was seeing us with a baby. She's not wrong though. We're not going to be perfect and neither will our kids. I know that but the part about us with a baby being great. I think she's right about that."_

" _Yeah. You were wonderful with Sophia yesterday," Matt smiled._

" _So were you," Gabby said. "And I know I have to finish my candidacy and we have to get married first, but I can't wait to experience all that with you. Even the part where I get all fat, which is totally going to suck, but it'll mean there's this little person that's part you and part me growing inside me. Someone who's only going to exist because we met and fell in love."_

" _There's no one else I'd rather share that with," Matt told her._

" _There better not be," Gabby raised an eyebrow. "Do you ever think about what you'd want to have? Boys? Girls?"_

" _I'll be happy whatever we have. That's not a line, but sometimes I can't help thinking about a little girl who looks just like you. Then I think about it some more and realize it would actually be terrible because when she gets older, boys are going to be all over her," Matt said._

" _So Matthew, what you're saying is that if we have a daughter, you want her to be ugly for your own piece of mind," Gabby teased._

" _When you put it like that, it does sound pretty bad," Matt agreed. "What about you? What do you want?"_

" _I agree that what we have doesn't really matter, but I do like the idea of having one of each," Gabby replied. "I think it would be nice to get to experience a son and experience a daughter, and maybe I'm a little biased, but I love the idea of our kids having the same type of relationship Antonio and I have. For that to happen we'd really need to have a son first and then a daughter. Antonio and I wouldn't work the way we do if I was the one who was older."_

" _Good morning. My name is Phoebe, and I'll be your server today," the waitress came up to the table, pulling the couple away from their thoughts of the future._

* * *

Severide, Capp, and Tony sat at the squad table playing cards. Welch had fortunately learned to mostly keep to himself in the weeks he'd spent at 51, and thus, didn't generally hang out with the rest of Squad. Although Severide was still holding out hope that someone else would be assigned to Squad 3 sooner rather than later. Pridgen seemed to like the bastard though. Although Severide was a little worried that it was at least in part because Pridgen knew he didn't, he couldn't help but worry that the interim chief was trying to get Welch to stick around on a permanent basis. It was only an hour into shift and things had been quiet so far. With the exception of roll call, everyone had just been able to mosey around the house doing whatever they wanted.

"What's the latest on Dawson?" Capp asked, knowing that Severide had stopped by the hospital the previous evening.

"No real change. The infection she had last week doesn't seem to have done any real damage, which is good, but otherwise she's still in the coma and not showing any signs of waking up," Serveride replied.

"Hard to believe it's been a month. I still keep expecting her to come walking through that door, ready to give someone attitude," Capp said.

"Casey still living in her hospital room?" Tony whispered, knowing that he had to be quiet in case Pridgen emerged. They couldn't risk him overhearing what was really keeping Casey off shift.

"Yeah," Severide said as he shifted his attention away from his men and towards the driveway.

Despite the fact that it was only mid-March, it was a warmer day and one of the garage doors was open. Through it he could see a brunette making her way towards them. There was something familiar about her, but he couldn't place his finger on what it was. As she got closer, it hit him. He couldn't remember her name, but the woman was Pridgen's wife or ex-wife or whatever it was, and last time she was here, she had wanted him to give Casey her number. He hoped that this time she was here to see Pridgen, but as she made eye contact with him, he began to worry that she was looking for someone else so he got up and made his way towards her, meeting her about a quarter of the way up the driveway. It should be far enough to prevent anyone from hearing their conversation. If he was right as to why she was here, that would be best, and hopefully, Pridgen would stay in his office. The last thing Severide needed was for the interim chief to see the two of them talking and become even more convinced that they were dating.

"Can I help you?" Severide asked.

"I'm looking for Matt. Is he here?" Beth asked in return.

"What makes you think he'd be here?" Severide shot back, a bad feeling beginning to settle in his stomach.

"The fact that he works here," Beth stated, wondering why she was getting this type of treatment.

"And you know that how?" Severide doubted that Casey would have told this woman too much about himself. He knew his friend well enough to know that that wasn't the point of the night they had spent together.

Beth contemplated for a minute whether to lie and let Matt's friend think she had spoken to Matt recently and he had told her he worked here. Maybe then this guy would be more likely to stop giving her the run around. Then again it might be obvious she was lying, especially if she wound up having to ask this guy more questions.

"Last time I was here, I saw him in some of the pictures on the wall inside. He looks really good in that uniform too," Beth smiled as she spoke. "Figured that meant he worked here. I saw you two together at the party that night so it seemed likely you worked the same shift, and I've been around firefighters enough to be able to piece one's schedule together. Is he here?"

"He's not," Severide informed her, hoping that would be the end of it. This woman had done a little too much calculating for his comfort.

"But he does work this shift here, right?" Beth asked. When Severide didn't respond, she took that as a yes. "When will he be back? Next shift?"

"He's dealing with some family stuff. It'll probably be a while," Severide reluctantly told her.

"Oh no. How can I get in touch with him? Maybe I can help," Beth offered eagerly.

"Trust me, there's nothing you can do," Severide was pretty sure being reminded of this woman's existence was just going to make things worse.

"So that's why he hasn't been in touch. I was worried you'd forgotten to give him my number or something," Beth was relieved. "Can you at least let him know I stopped by? I'd love to see him again."

"No offense, he's not interested. I did give him your number, and he threw it out. Besides, he's on the verge of getting back with his ex," that wasn't quite true but Severide figured it was close enough. Casey had refused to take her number, and he and Dawson couldn't exactly get back together while she was in a coma. Still, he had thrown out this woman's phone number himself once Casey had turned it down, and he had no doubt that once, or maybe it was if, Dawson woke up, it wouldn't long before she and Casey were officially a couple again.

At that moment, the alarm went off, calling all companies to a structure fire.

"I've got to go," Severide told Beth before turning back towards the apparatus floor, only to see Pridgen standing next to the Squad table, glaring at him.

"Not interested my ass. Not if I have anything to say about it," Beth muttered to herself as she walked away.

* * *

"There's a kid trapped inside," the building manager said as everyone was getting out of their vehicles at the scene.

"Is everyone else out?" Pridgen asked.

"Believe so," the man responded.

As Truck and Squad were getting ready to head into the building, a teenaged girl approached them.

"My uncle. He fell down the stairs and hurt his ankle," she said. "Can you help?"

"Severide, squad is being redeployed to help this girl," Pridgen called out.

"Chief, there's a kid trapped in there," Severide protested.

"Truck can handle it. Go before I write you up for insubordination," Pridgen ordered.

While Hermann revised his orders to account for the change in plans, Severide departed the scene with Capp, Tony, and Welch following the girl towards her uncle. When they got there, they found him standing up, holding onto the railing with his foot off the ground.

"You okay?" Severide asked.

"I'm fine," the man put his foot down and took a step as if to prove his point. Only problem was he grimaced as he did so.

"Why don't you let us take a look," Severide suggested.

"No. Everything's good. Just need to put some ice on it and it'll be fine," the man replied.

"You sure?" Welch spoke this time.

"Yeah. If it gets worse, I'll have my sister take me to the hospital. Promise," the man said. "Come on Deb."

With that the girl and her uncle slowly made their way into the house, with him leaning on her for support as they walked.

"Alright. Nothing we can do here," Severide said as Squad started making their way back the fire. They returned to the scene to find Ambulance 61 speeding off and Truck 81 standing around while Engine was pulling out the hoses.

"What happened with her uncle?" Pridgen asked once he noticed Squad approaching.

"He refused treatment. Wouldn't even let us take a look," Severide answered right before hearing a loud crash.

Everyone turned towards the building in time to see a man falling out a third story window. It was the building manager.

"This is Truck 81. We need another ambo at our current location," Hermann called into his radio as everyone raced toward the man.

"The kid. I went back in looking for her," the man said as he lay on the ground, bleeding.

"It's okay. Don't speak," Cruz said while Severide looked up at Pridgen. The man seemed to be panicking.

* * *

As the house was eating lunch, a bunch of white shirts from headquarters made their way into 51.

"Pat, can we see you in your office?" Chief Tiberg asked, prompting Pridgen to get up and follow the men.

"It's Boden's office," Hermann muttered was Pridgen was out of site.

"What do you think that was about?" Cruz asked.

"No idea," Severide mumbled.

Half an hour later, the meeting in Pridgen's office ended, and the Chiefs all made their way out. Chief Tiberg stopped to stick his head in though.

"Severide, can you stop by headquarters tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure," a confused Severide replied.

"Want me to see if I can find out what that's about," Mouch offered, prompting Severide to nod.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Mouch knocked on Serveride's door as the Squad lieutenant was doing his paperwork. Severide nodded to signal that Mouch should come in.

"So word is Pridgen told the Chiefs that you were the one who insisted that Squad leave the scene this morning to help the guy who hurt his ankle," Mouch informed Severide.

"No. He was the one who insisted we go," Severide pointed out.

"Is there anyone who can back that up?" Mouch asked.

"Hermann was there. I think Welch probably heard it to. Why?" Severide responded.

"Because Pridgen's trying to pin what happened with the building manager on you," Mouch explained. "He made a bad call that may have led to man going back into the building, and he's trying to cover himself."

"I didn't do anything wrong. The guy threatened to write me up if I didn't go look at the guy," Severide defended himself.

"It's not me you have to convince. Pridgen's got a lot of friends in high places. Make sure Hermann and Welch can corroborate your side of the story, and if you want union representation when you go down to headquarters, just let me know," Mouch said.

"Thanks Mouch," Severide through his pen down in frustration as Mouch left his quarters.

He stared at his paperwork for a few minutes before getting up and heading towards the Chief's office.

"Severide," Connie called after him as he stormed past her and in to see Pridgen. Her attempt to stop him proving to be in vain.

"You're trying to pin your screw up on me, huh," Severide shouted angrily as he slammed the door shut.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Pridgen played dumb.

"You were the one who insisted we check out the guy who fell, and now you're telling everyone that I made the call so they don't realize that you didn't properly handle the scene," Severide let Pridgen know that he knew exactly what was going on.

"Who do you think they're going to believe? It's your word against mine," Pridgen calmly stated.

"My men can vouch for me," Severide pointed out.

"And if they do, it can easily get swept aside as company loyalty," Pridgen smirked. "I'm looking forward to burying you."

"You've had it out for me practically since day one. This isn't just about covering your own ass," Severide observed.

"Maybe you should have thought about the consequences before you started sleeping with my wife," Pridgen confirmed Severide's suspicions.

"I'm not sleeping with your wife or even dating her. Never have. I've hardly ever spoken to the woman," Severide insisted.

"And I'm supposed to believe you when I've caught you twice now, and she's telling everything to my sister," Pridgen argued.

"Everything?" Severide's curiosity got the best of him as he pushed the irony aside. The interim chief didn't seem to realize that the two times he'd "caught" them were the only two times they had spoken.

"All about this firefighter she's seeing. How she met him at some party at a firefighter bar a month ago. How great he is. How she can't stop thinking about him and can't wait to see him again. How great the sex is. How much she's looking forward to the next time she'll get to be with him. How it was just supposed to be one night but it was one of the best nights of her life, and she thinks it's going to turn into something really special. Really wish Lori hadn't been drunk when she'd told me so that she would have left some of that out," Pridgen muttered the last part under his breath. "Her only concern is the fact that she thinks he works for me."

"Look, I don't know who she slept with," Severide lied. "But it wasn't me. I'm not dumb enough to sleep with my chief's wife. I doubt it wasn't anyone at 51. If it was me or anyone else here, don't you think she'd know we were working for you?"

"Given your reputation, I wouldn't put anything past you. Besides, last time I saw Beth, the two of you were flirting," Pridgen countered. "And since, as I'm sure you know, Beth and I haven't spoken since the day we signed the divorce papers, she probably isn't certain that I'm still here. I doubt I'm a topic of conversation when the two of you are in bed."

"I wouldn't know what she talks about in bed because as I said earlier, I've never slept with her," Severide shot back as the door opened revealing Connie.

"Severide, you have a phone call," she said.

"This isn't over," Pridgen called after Severide as he turned to follow Connie.

"Who is it?" Severide asked once he was out of Pridgen's office.

"No one. The two of you were giving me a headache. I don't care who you sleep with, but keep the fighting about it out of my firehouse," Connie replied.

Severide just shook his head and walked away. He wasn't really sure what he could have said to Pridgen to convince him anyways. He really didn't want to throw Casey under the bus. The man had enough on his plate, and given the current circumstances, it would no doubt lead to the Dawson clan finding out about Casey and Beth. Would that change how they treated Casey right now? Would they still let him see Dawson? All he knew for certain was he needed to talk to Hermann and everyone else to make sure they would back him up. He was not going down without a fight.

"Hermann, do you have a minute?" Severide asked as he entered the common room.

"Yeah. Hey, Mouch filled us in on what's going on. I heard everything that was said. I got your back," Hermann said.

"We all do," Capp piped in.

"Thanks guys," Severide said.

"Excuse me," a woman's voice pulled everyone's attention towards the door.

"Can we help you?" Mills asked as he looked up from feeding Pouch.

"I'm looking for Matt," the woman said.

"And who are you?" Mouch asked.

"Christie Casey. His sister," she introduced herself.

"Not sure why you think you'd find him here," Welch smiled as he poured himself a cup of coffee and butted in. "He's supposed to be with your uncle after all."

"My uncle?" Christie was confused.

"Why don't we go somewhere and talk in private," Severide interjected in an attempt to keep the situation from spiraling out of control.

"The one who fell and broke his hip. In Florida," Welch said before Christie even had a chance to respond.

"Uncle Ernie? He's fine. I spoke to him last night. If Matt was there, he would have told me. He knows I've been trying to get in touch with him," Christie didn't understand what was going on.

"I knew it," Welch said triumphantly. "That story you fed me about Casey and Dawson breaking up was a load of bull. Wasn't it?"

"No. They did break up. Thanks to you," Hermann replied.

"It was always too much of a coincidence that he went on leave as soon as Dawson wound up in the hospital," Welch ignored Hermann.

"Wait, Gabby's in the hospital. What happened?" Christie asked.

"Car accident. About a month ago," Brett started to explain. "She's been in a coma ever since."

"And Matt's with her," Christie realized as relief washed over her. She felt terrible about it. She had always liked Gabby and had been hoping that she and Matt would be able to work things out, but after trying unsuccessfully for the past week to get a hold of her brother, she had begun to worry something had happened to him. At least now she knew that he was physically okay.

"Won't leave her side," Brett confirmed. "Kind of romantic if you think about it."

"So," a voice drew everyone's attention to the door that led to the office area. "You've all been lying to me."

* * *

Author's Note: I know there was no Matt in the real world scenes. I always wanted to check in at 51 and see how things might be going without Matt and Gabby there, and when I was doing my planning, I thought this was the best place to do it. Plus, there's some things in the real world that needed to happen. Matt will be back next chapter though. Promise.

Until next time.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: Merry (belated) Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy anything else you celebrate at this time of year. Think that should cover all my bases, right? And of course as always thank you to my reviewers. In particular, I'd like to thank everyone who pointed out that Gabby's mother's name is actually Camila.

Huge thank you to NuGirl who went completely above and beyond to make sure I had not just Camila's name, but Gabby and Antonio's dad's name as well.

Now that I have both parents names, Gabby and Antonio's parents will primarily be referred to as Camila and Ramon from here on out.

That pretty much does it for me. Here's another long one for you. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

 _The mood was somber as Truck and Squad returned to the house after responding to a major car accident on the expressway in downtown Chicago. Ambo hadn't yet returned from taking one of the victims to the hospital, a little girl, probably around six or seven, whose mother had been declared dead at the scene. Upon their return the Squad guys had headed for their table while Gabby, Mouch, Hermann, Otis, and Cruz made their way into the common room and Matt went to his office to do paperwork. Gabby knew he was taking their last call hard though. He had been working to get the mother out of the car and had wound up watching her die. She wanted to reach out to him and try to comfort him and make sure he knew that she was here, but she was hesitant to act like his fiancée at the firehouse. No one had said anything about how they had acted during her first shift back last week with the baby and the crazy lady with a gun, but what were the odds they'd be able to cross that line again so soon without anyone taking issue with it?_

" _What's for lunch Dawson?" Mouch called quietly from his spot on the couch, pulling her from her thoughts._

" _Not sure yet," Gabby said as she took the hint and moved from her spot at the table towards the kitchen. If the house wanted lunch, she would have to be the candidate and make it for them, but Mouch's words did give her an idea. She may not be able to go to Matt as his fiancée right now, but she could at least use lunch to try to cheer him up._

 _Opening the fridge, she initially thought she'd make her butternut squash soup. She knew it was one of Matt's favorites, and she hadn't forgotten that after their first therapy session, he had basically informed her that he remembered that it was what she had made for lunch the day they met. Only as she looked through the fridge, she discovered that the firehouse didn't have any squash, something that didn't really surprise but did disappoint her. Looking through everything that was in the fridge, she ultimately settled on a Tex-Mex lasagna. It didn't have as much sentimental value as the soup, but the night after she'd been trapped in the bombing at Chicago Med last year, Matt had made it for dinner for her. Or at least he had tried to. It hadn't come out very well and they'd wound up ordering Chinese food. The point was that Matt had come to her apartment after helping with the search and rescue at the hospital to find her tossing and turning in bed as she screamed his name. She had been having a dream about the explosion, only it was more of a nightmare as Matt hadn't been able to get to her and gave up. Matt had woken her up, climbed into bed with her, told her that he was here for her, and promised that no matter what he would always find her and never give up until she was safe. After she'd calmed down a little, he'd asked her to let him take care of her that night, which is what led to his making dinner. Hopefully, he remembered that night as well as she did and would see the meal as her way of letting him know that she was here if he needed her._

 _The lasagna had been in the oven for about fifteen minutes when Shay and Brett made their way into the common room._

" _Something smells good," Shay said as she made her way towards Gabby._

" _Thanks," Gabby smiled at her best friend. "How's the girl?"_

" _Sabrina is stable and expected to make a full recovery," Brett answered instead._

" _That's the good news though," Shay added. "We know her name because they recognized her at Med. Her father was a patient there last year. Died of cancer."_

" _Awww jeez," Hermann said._

" _Yeah. DCFS is trying to track down some relatives now," Shay continued before turning her attention to Gabby. "Might be best if Casey hears it from you. I saw the look on his face when we called the mother."_

" _Maybe," she said it in a way that she hoped made clear that she was asking permission. Truth was she had wanted to run to Matt from the moment she'd heard what happened but had forced herself to be just the candidate._

" _Go," Hermann told her._

" _Thanks Hermann," Gabby responded. "Shay, Brett would one of you mind keeping an eye on lunch."_

" _No problem," Brett called after her as Gabby made her way out of the common room and towards Matt's quarters._

 _When she got there, she stopped in the doorway and just took him in for a moment. Matt sat in the chair at his desk, staring down at his paperwork, but his pen wasn't moving. Instead of using it to write, he was just holding in the air. Eventually Gabby knocked on the doorframe, alerting him to her presence and prompting him to look up and turn towards her._

" _Hey," she said quietly as their eyes met. "How you holding up?"_

" _I'm fine," Matt claimed._

" _Matt, it's me," she pointed out as she moved towards him and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly._

" _I'm hanging in there," he admitted. "I don't know if it was having her daughter right there or something else, but I can't seem to just let this one go."_

" _Talk to me. I'm here," she wanted to hug him but he was still sitting in his chair and she was leaning against his desk._

" _I just keep replaying it him my head," Matt told her. "What if I'd moved faster or had someone helping me? What if I'd gone at the door at a different angle? If she was already out of the car, would that have made a difference? Maybe I should have had a medic with me so that they could check her out first. Then there was the look on her face the whole time. She was conscious the whole time and had this sad smile on her fact like she knew what was coming, that I wasn't going to help her. At one point when I was trying to get the door open, she spoke. It was basically a whisper, but I heard it. She told me that it was okay."_

" _You did everything you could have," Gabby reassured him. "If you weren't able to get her out of the car in time to get medical help, then there's nothing you or anyone could have done."_

" _How do you know? You were a few cars down, helping Hermann," he pointed out._

" _Because I know you," she insisted. "As a person and as a firefighter. There's no way you phoned it in during the call. I'm sure you did everything you could and worked as hard as you could to get her out of there because you're too good of a person to have done anything different. It's a big part of why I love you so much. And you have always been one of the best firefighters and lieutenants in the CFD. I'm not saying that as your fiancée but as someone who has worked with you for nearly six years and who has seen a lot of different companies work over the years. It's a big part of why I was willing to put our future on hold and serve under you; I couldn't imagine a better person to learn from. I have no doubt that if there was a better way to handle it you would have thought of it. You made the best decision you could based on everything you knew at the time. I'm sure of it. You and I both know that as much as we want to, we can't save everyone."_

" _Thanks Gabby," he offered her a small smile. "I know that as your lieutenant I'm not setting the best example of how to handle calls like this."_

" _Well, lucky for you I may be a candidate, but I'm not new to the CFD. I know how to handle the calls that don't end well, but I've also had a few of these myself over the years. You were always there for me after them, and I happen to care a lot more about you as a person than as my lieutenant," she leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead before moving towards his bed and motioning for him to join her._

" _There's something I need to tell youthough," she said as she sat down. In all the years she'd worked at 51, she had spent a lot of time sitting on this bed while she and Matt hung out in his office, especially after they'd gotten together but even when they were just really good friends. She was pretty sure this was the first time she'd sat here since starting her candidacy though. It felt good to be here again even if the circumstances basically sucked._

" _What?" Matt asked as he joined her on the bed. Gabby took his hands in hers before speaking._

" _When they were dropping the daughter off at the hospital, Shay and Brett were told that her father died last year," she told him._

" _So she's an orphan," he said as he looked away from her._

" _Yeah. According to Shay, the folks at Med called DCFS, and they're trying to track down some relatives," she added. Having seen the look on his face before he turned away, she knew exactly what he was thinking so she reached for his cheek before continuing. "Matt, look at me. You are not the reason she's an orphan. The guy who was driving the wrong way on the expressway is. Please don't blame yourself."_

 _At that moment the bells went off calling Ambulance 61 to a possible stroke but leaving all the firefighters at the house._

" _Damn. Shay and Brett were supposed to be keeping an eye on lunch for me. It's in the oven," Gabby said as she started to get up, thinking she would have to return to the common room even though she wanted to stay with Matt._

" _Stay," he told her. "I'm sure the guys can handle it. It's not like you're entrusting them to actually to make lunch"_

 _Gabby couldn't help but laugh at that last comment._

" _You sure?" she asked. She was still a little nervous about crossing lines here._

" _Yeah. You're a good distraction," he told her._

" _Just good?" she knew she probably shouldn't have said that but she couldn't resist._

" _Well, I'd say beautiful but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be appropriate Candidate," Matt laughed._

" _It's good to see your mood improving Lieutenant," Gabby responded in kind._

" _As I said, good distraction," he replied. "What's for lunch anyway?"_

" _Tex-Mex Lasagna," she simply stated._

" _I'm sure you'll do a much better job with it than I did," he said._

" _So you do remember making it for me. I wasn't sure. It's been a while," she responded._

" _I remember everything about that day. I wish I didn't. When I couldn't find you and realized that you were most likely near where the bomb went off, the only thing that mattered was getting to you because at the end of the day, you're everything to me. Then at your place that night, you were scared and clearly trying to come to terms with what had happened. I just wanted to be there for you and make things easier," Matt explained._

" _I know you did," Gabby replied. "That's why I wanted to make it for lunch. I wanted to try to find some way to let you know that I was here for you but was worried about crossing a line and not just being a normal candidate. Was hoping that wouldn't be too subtle of a message."_

" _I'm sure I would have figured it out. I'm glad you decided to come down here though. You were exactly what I needed," he told her as he pulled her into a hug._

* * *

 _It was lunchtime, and Gabby had just sat down between Shay and Matt when she felt her phone start to buzz. Taking it out of her jacket pocket she saw Laura's name flash across the screen. Confused as to why her sister-in-law would be calling in the middle of a random Wednesday when the bakery should be busy, she headed into the hall to have a private conversation._

" _Hi Laura," she said as she answered the call._

" _Hi Gabby," Laura's voice came through the phone. She sounded slightly upset._

" _Is everything okay?" Gabby had noticed her sister-in-law's tone._

" _Sort of," Laura started to explain. "The kids' school called. Diego had gone to the nurse this morning complaining of pain in his side. He also had a slight fever and his abdomen's swollen. The school nurse thought we should get him checked for appendicitis. I took him to the hospital, and he does have it. They're planning on removing his appendix late this afternoon."_

" _Oh no. How's he holding up?" Gabby asked._

" _He's trying to act like it's not a big deal, but he's never had surgery before, and I think he's a little scared," Laura replied._

" _I'm on shift, but Matt and I will stop by first thing in the morning," Gabby promised._

" _Thanks. This isn't the only reason I called though," Laura said. "About a month ago the kids' school had a charity auction. Antonio and I won a romantic long weekend at a bed and breakfast in Galena. Three nights four days. The thing is, it's this weekend, and given that Diego will have to be in the hospital until at least Saturday and no offense to your parents, but I'd rather not leave him with them while he's recovering so we're not going to be able to go. I was wondering if you and Matt would like to take our place."_

" _You can't just reschedule?" Gabby felt bad that Antonio and Laura were planning on giving up their weekend getaway._

" _No. The deal the school made with the inn was for this weekend. We didn't get a say in when we went and were told it wasn't flexible. I'd hate for the whole thing to go to waste just because we can't go," Laura replied._

" _I'd need to check with Matt and make sure we could get next shift off, but as long as it works, I wouldn't mind going. I think it might actually do Matt some good. I feel bad that you guys can't actually use it though," Gabby said._

" _Don't worry about us. Everything okay with you and Matt?" it was Laura's turn to question Gabby._

" _Yeah. We had a rough call this morning. That's all," Gabby explained. "We're in the middle of lunch so I probably should get back before we get called out again. I'll give you a call once I have an answer for you. Give Diego a hug and a kiss for me."_

" _Will do. Bye," Laura said._

" _Bye," Gabby hung up the phone before heading back into the common room._

" _Is something wrong?" Shay asked as Gabby sat back down._

" _No," she replied. She wanted to tell Matt what Laura had called about before telling the whole house. Besides, if they couldn't go, there was no point in announcing it to everyone._

* * *

" _Lieutenant," Gabby said as she knocked on Matt's door shortly after lunch had ended. She was relieved to see that he was actually doing his paperwork this time._

" _Dawson, what can I do for you?" Matt looked up and turned towards her._

" _I was wondering if it would be possible to have next shift off," she asked._

" _You and Shay trying to plan a last minute girls' weekend again or something?" he was clearly trying to figure out why she'd suddenly be asking for a shift off._

" _No. The call I got during lunch was from my sister-in-law. She and my brother were supposed to go away this weekend but my nephew's in the hospital," she started to explain._

" _Is Diego okay? Do you need to go see him?" Matt instantly became concerned._

" _He should be fine. It's just appendicitis," Gabby answered. "The point is they now can't go so my sister-in-law offered my fiancée and me their reservation. Before I asked him about it, I wanted to make sure it would be okay if I missed next shift."_

" _You'll need to clear it with the Chief as well, but I don't think it'll be a problem," he replied. "You know Dawson, your fiancée would have to be a fool not to want to go away for a weekend with you."_

" _Careful Lieutenant or someone might think you were hitting on me. I don't think he's a fool though," Gabby teased before morphing from candidate to fiancée. "So what do you say babe? Do you want to go on a romantic long weekend with me?"_

" _I'd love to," Matt replied with a smile. "Let's go make sure it's okay with the Chief."_

 _A few minutes later they were knocking on Boden's door._

" _Come in," he called._

" _Hi Chief," Gabby said as they entered the office._

" _Dawson, Casey what can I do for you?" the Chief asked._

" _I know it's short notice but something's come up. Would it be possible for Gabby and me to take next shift off?" Matt asked._

" _Is there a problem?" Boden queried._

" _No," Gabby answered. "We were just offered a free trip for this weekend, and I get it if it's a problem here, but we'd really like to be able to go."_

" _Both of you taking the same shift off at the last minute. One time might be okay, but you'll only get one shot at this. If you try to do this a second time, people might start wondering if it's just a coincidence. Are you sure this is the one time you want to do this?" Boden replied._

 _Matt and Gabby just looked at each other to make sure they were on the same page._

" _We're sure," Matt answered for both of them. Gabby nodded in agreement._

" _Okay then. I can call in relief for Dawson, and Hermann can cover for you, Casey," Boden finally gave them their answer. "Have fun you two."_

" _Thanks Chief," Matt said right before he and Gabby made their way out of Boden's office._

" _So a romantic weekend just you and me," Gabby said once they were alone in the hallway._

" _Yeah," Matt said. "I can't wait to get you all alone."_

" _You have that all the time at home," Gabby pointed out._

" _And whenever we're not at home, we have to make sure no one from the CFD figures out that we're engaged. We can go down there, and I can shout from the rooftops that I love you and can't wait to marry you," Matt whispered in her ear._

" _Oh. I'd pay to see that. I totally can't picture you doing that," Gabby laughed._

" _You're right. I probably wouldn't. The point is, it'll actually be an option," Matt smiled at her._

* * *

"So," a voice drew everyone's attention to the door that led to the office area. "You've all been lying to me."

Everyone just stared at Pridgen, not really sure what to say.

"The story behind Casey's leave of absence was a lie," Pridgen broke the awkward silence that filled the room the moment he made his presence known.

"Why does it matter why Casey's been off shift?" a confused Cruz asked.

"It matters because a battalion chief needs to be able to trust his lieutenants and firefighters. For some reason either Chief Boden or Casey made up made up the official explanation for Casey being out, and you've all been going about your business for the past month acting like it was true when you knew it wasn't. I don't know why so how do I know that's all you've been lying about? Why should I trust any of you? It seems to me that there's something wrong in this house," Pridgen explained.

"Boden was trying to cover his own ass. I assume he hasn't told anyone at headquarters that Casey's sleeping with Dawson," Welch theorized before turning his attention to Hermann. "I still don't buy your claims about them breaking up. It's probably just another lie."

"Well, if you hadn't gone out of your way to keep her out of 105, the Chief wouldn't have had to turn a blind eye to anything," Hermann couldn't help himself. "He was just making sure she got the chance she deserved. And they did break up, isn't that right Casey's sister?"

"Yes," Christie quietly confirmed. She felt awkward now that she realized that her visit had unintentionally revealed a secret or two; she had just wanted to make sure her brother was okay and find out why he wasn't returning her calls. At least she had an answer now, but she hoped she hadn't gotten Matt in trouble. She was tempted to ask which hospital Gabby was in so she could visit, but this didn't seem like the time or place.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I should go," she added before turning and walking out of the firehouse.

"None of us had a problem with Dawson serving under Casey," Otis defended them.

"Doesn't matter. The department looks down on couples or former couples working together, especially in the same company. The company's commanding officer being involved just makes it worse. This house not only ignored all that but engaged in a cover up," Pridgen replied as he smiled to himself. This could work to his advantage. He was bound to rewarded with a permanent spot once he brought this scandal to everyone's attention.

"You also have to have the backs of the people you're running into burning buildings with," Severide pointed out. "This house is a family, and we all have each other's backs."

"I'm sure that will be a comfort to Chief Tiberg," Pridgen said sarcastically.

"Look, Dawson's been in a coma for a month. There's no guarantee she's ever going to wake up," Severide decided to try the sympathy route.

"And if she does, she's unlikely to ever work as a firefighter again. At best, she's going to need months of rehab before anyone can even think about it being possible," Mills guessed where Severide was going.

"The point is, you don't know Casey. He's done nothing to you, and the man's going through enough. Have a heart. Don't add a threat to his career to the list of things he has to worry about, and as Mills said, there might not be any need to think about what could happen if Dawson comes back and finished up her candidacy under Casey. We're a long way from that," Severide finished.

"You're a great example for your men aren't you?" Pridgen asked a hypothetical question. "Trying to not take responsibility for your own actions, everyone's actions, and talk me out of following the rules. There's no place for a lieutenant like that in my firehouse. Consider yourself suspended."

"Chief," Hermann started to protest.

"You've got to be kidding," Cruz joined in.

"Get out of here Severide. Now," Pridgen ordered.

"It's fine guys," Severide said in an attempt to prevent the rest of the house from getting in trouble before turning and heading towards the locker room to get his stuff.

"The union will have your back to fight this," Mouch approached Severide a few minutes later as the squad lieutenant was throwing his stuff in his bag. "I can meet you first thing after shift tomorrow or I can reach out to somebody about meeting with you today."

"Thanks Mouch," Severide replied. "I'm going to go warn Boden and Casey before this falls on them. Pridgen's probably on the phone with headquarters right now. You all should probably watch your backs for the rest of shift."

"Tomorrow then," Mouch said.

With that Severide left the locker room and headed out of 51.

"This certainly isn't going to help their creditability now is it?" Pridgen gloated as Severide was about to walk through one of the doors that led to the apparatus floor.

Figuring that it would just make things worse, Severide forced himself to resist the urge to respond. Instead he just shook his head and kept walking.

* * *

Boden was in Terrence's room, having just put the three month old down for a nap when the doorbell rang. The sound must have startled the baby as he woke up and started crying.

"Shhh," the Chief said as he picked up his son and tried to soothe him back to sleep.

"Wallace," Donna's voice called up from downstairs. "It's for you."

Still holding Terrence, Boden made his way downstairs, where he was surprised to see Kelly Severide wearing street clothes and standing in his living room. It was the last thing he was expecting; he knew Severide was supposed to be on shift. Not just because he'd done that math and knew that second watch was on duty today, but also because when Donna had caught him with his radio this morning, he had been listening to a call 51 was on. Based on what he'd heard on the radio, he knew Severide had been there.

"I can't get him down," Boden told his wife.

"Let me try," she replied as she took the boy from him and headed up the stairs.

"Kelly, what can I do for you?" Boden turned his attention to his unexpected guest and motioned for him to take a seat.

"I know you're on furlough, but I thought you should know that things are getting pretty bad at the house," Severide explained. "Between Pridgen and Welch. He's been –"

"Doing relief shifts on Squad. Hermann's been keeping me in the loop. Said Pat seems to have it out for you too," Boden interrupted.

"Yeah. He actually suspended me today, but that's only related to why I'm here, not the actual reason," Severide continued. "Pridgen now knows about Casey and Dawson's relationship, and that Casey's actually been with her and not a sick uncle. Went off on all of us for lying, and Welch was happy to help him fill in the pieces. He made it clear he'd be bringing this to the brass's attention right before suspending me for lying and setting a bad example. He already has it out for me for reasons that only exist in his head, and I get the sense that he'd have no problem making you, Casey, and everyone else collateral damage if it'll help him get to me."

"Why's he got it out for you?" Boden wanted to get a clear picture of what they were up against.

"It doesn't matter," Severide tried to deflect.

"If you want my help, I need to know everything," Boden pointed out.

"Doesn't this impact you too?" Severide asked.

"Truth is, I've been thinking about retiring for the past few weeks. My dad's death got me thinking, and I want to make sure I don't get to miss anything with Terrence," Boden told him.

"Wow. I had no idea," it was Severide's turn to be surprised.

"I haven't told anyone. Not even Donna," Boden explained. "If the CFD decides to fire me or take away my command over this, they'll just have made my decision easier. The whole thing was my call, and I took the lead on everything. It doesn't look good, but we didn't break any rules so I should hopefully be able to protect all or at least most of you. In order for me to do that though, I need to know what's been going on."

"About a month ago Pridgen's estranged wife came to see him at 51. I ran into her in the hallway and we spoke a bit. Apparently, she told his sister she's seeing a firefighter, and based on the fact that he saw us talking, Pridgen is convinced I'm the firefighter. She showed up at the house again this morning, and we spoke briefly again. It was completely harmless though. What was I supposed to do? Just ignore her?" Severide decided to tell as much of the truth as he could while keeping Casey out of it. "Then when we were at an apartment fire this morning, Pridgen sent Truck into the building and my guys around the corner to check on a guy who fell and hurt his ankle. It was completely unrelated to the call we were actually on, and the guy refused any sort of treatment, and when we made it back to the fire, the building manager was coming out a third story window. Apparently, he'd gone in to help look for a kid who was still in the building when we got there, not realizing that Truck had already gotten her out. Anyways, Pridgen's official story is that I decided Squad should leave the scene to check on the guy, and he basically told me that he's going to make sure I go down for this as payback for sleeping with his wife. I'm supposed to go down to headquarters to talk about what happened tomorrow. After he suspended me, he made sure I knew that hiding everything concerning Dawson and Casey was going to hurt my case not help it. The man's out for my blood and trying to protect himself. That's not a good combination."

"Is there anyone who can vouch for the fact that Chief Pridgen sent you to check on the other guy?" Boden asked.

"Hermann and I think Welch," Severide answered. "And I wouldn't expect Welch to do anything for me or anyone else at 51 given the history there."

"No civilians?" Boden asked.

"Not sure. Some of the victims of the fire were around, but I don't know if anyone of them was close enough to hear," Severide explained.

"Okay. I'll reach out to Chief Tiberg and Chief Walker. Try to explain that you were all just acting on my orders see if that can at least keep the rest of you out of trouble for the Casey and Dawson situation," Boden offered. "I suggest trying to talk to some of the firefighters who worked out of 17. McLoud wanted to shut 51 down because I wasn't on board with all the changes she was trying to make. See if there were any problems there that led to her shutting them down. Chief Pridgen has a lot of friends in high places and he's not just after you for personal reasons, whoever's responsible for what happened at that call could get into a lot of trouble. If he's been reckless before, that could go a long way in helping you now."

"Will do. I want to warn Casey first though," Severide said.

"Makes sense. I came up with idea of saying Casey was out of town taking care of a relative because I didn't want him to have to deal with there being any fallout from his relationship with Dawson. Maybe I should have known it would have backfired, but I never imaged that a month later she'd be in a coma and he'd still be off shift," Boden felt terrible about all this. It was all his fault. He'd gone against his better judgement when he decided to let Dawson do her candidacy under Casey. When he'd found out she wouldn't be going to Austin, he'd felt horrible for her, and the feeling was only made worse when he was told it might be awhile before they could find another spot for her. He'd had the power of a solution in his grasp, and despite his best attempts, he hadn't been able to resist using it. Only Dawson and Casey's personal relationship hadn't been able to survive the strain of their new work relationship just as he feared it would when he'd turned down her request to be let on 81 nearly a year ago. Now it seemed that that decision and every one he'd made since had been wrong. Maybe it was just another sign that it was time for him to retire.

"Chief, I may be out of line here, but I hope you decide not to retire. We miss you at 51," Severide said as he got up and prepared to leave.

* * *

Matt stroked Gabby's hair as he sat at her side. Antonio was next to him while Ramon and Camila sat on the other side of Gabby's hospital bed. The beeping of the machines was the only sound in the room. After spending a month in this room, the four of them had run out of things to say while they spent their days sitting at Gabby's bedside, waiting for her to wake up and hoping that each day would be the day. Occasionally they would turn on the TV, but it always seemed pointless as their attention stayed focused on the woman lying in front of them. He still spoke to Gabby whenever they were alone, and he suspected all three Dawson's did as well. At this point though, what he said had mostly been reduced to him alternating between babbling about how much he loved, missed, and needed her and babbling about whatever random thing he could think of, usually based on whatever had been in the newspaper Ramon brought in with him every morning. It had become part of their daily ritual; Gabby's father would bring the _Chicago Sun-Times_ in with him each morning and read it aloud, saying that he wanted his daughter to know what was going on in the world. Except for visits from their friends, it was Matt's sole connection to the outside world.

The sound of the door opening pulled Matt's attention towards it. He'd long ago figured out the routines of the doctors and nurses who staffed the Lakeshore ICU, and while it was always possible that he had lost track of time, the minutes and hours and days had long ago started to blend together after all, he was pretty sure they weren't due in Gabby's room yet and that made him nervous. He couldn't help but worry every time they broke their routine that something was wrong.

"Hey," Severide said as he stuck his head in the room. Matt felt relieved as he realized it was his friend and not a doctor or nurse.

"Hi Severide," Antonio said as he also turned his heads towards the door.

"I thought when we saw you yesterday, you said you wouldn't be able to stop by today," Camila was curious as to what had changed and wanted to fish for information.

"Yeah. It's a long story, and I need to talk to Casey," Severide replied.

"What's up?" Matt asked.

"Can we talk privately?" Severide answered with his own question. Matt just glared at him though, which didn't really surprise him. He knew how much Casey hated being away from Dawson, but he thought it would be best if Antonio, Ramon, and Camila didn't hear the second thing he needed to tell Casey so he needed to find a way to get Casey out of the room without raising anyone's suspicions. "It's about your sister."

"Christie?" Matt responded. "What about her?"

"Not here," Severide insisted as he motioned for Matt to follow him out of the room.

Confused and nervous about the fact that Severide seemed to want to talk about his sister in private, Matt reluctantly decided that he should go with his friend.

"I'll be right back Gabby," he kissed her forehead as he got up and followed Severide out of the room.

"What's going on?" Matt asked once they were in the hall.

"Let's go to the cafeteria," Severide replied. "I got suspended before anyone had started dinner. Could use a bite to eat."

"Suspended?" Matt didn't understand. Did that have something to do with Christie or was it just a coincidence?

"It's a long story. I'll explain everything once I get some food," Severide answered. The two men walked towards the cafeteria in silence. Not wanting to spend any more time away from Gabby than he had to, Matt was impatient and wanted to keep asking Severide about what was going on and why he was here, but he got the distinct impression that it wouldn't get him anywhere so he forced himself not to.

"What do you want to eat?" Severide asked as the two men entered the cafeteria. "My treat."

"I'm not really hungry so I'll just grab a table," Matt replied. His appetite still hadn't come back, and honestly, he thought his body had gotten used to the fact that it wasn't getting as much food as it normally did.

Severide headed towards the serving area to get his food. A few minutes later he joined Matt at a table near the window, carrying a tray with two slices of deep dish pizza and two water bottles.

"Here," he said as he handed one of the slices and water bottles to Matt.

"Are you turning into Camila now?" Matt shook his head as he looked at the food in front of him.

"She's right you know. You should be taking better care of yourself," Severide replied.

"You said needed to talk about Christie," Matt turned the conversation back to the point of this meeting.

"Right. You know you should really return her calls," Severide started.

"I'm not following," Matt was still completely confused.

"She stopped by the firehouse this afternoon looking for you," Severide explained. "Apparently, she tried calling you, but you never called her back. I think she might have been worried. Either that or whatever she needs to talk to you about is important. You should probably give her a call."

"I didn't realize she had called. My phone died weeks ago," Matt said. He had been so focused on Gabby that nothing else had mattered, including the connection the phone gave him to the world beyond the hospital walls. He wasn't even sure how long it took him to realize that it was dead. He'd only stumbled upon it because two weeks ago, at least he thought it was two weeks ago, he had been the only one here when the doctors had come in to run some tests on Gabby. They'd kicked him out of the room and told him to come back in half an hour. He had managed to look at the clock in Gabby's hospital room before leaving, but when he reached for his phone later to see how much time had passed, it wouldn't turn on.

"I would have brought a charger from home if you'd asked," Severide pointed out.

"Didn't seem important," Matt replied before getting a little angry. "You dragged me out of Gabby's room to tell me that my sister tried calling and then stopped by 51. There's no reason –"

"That's not all," Severide cut Matt off. "The fact that she was looking for you at work was enough for Welch, I don't know if I told you but he's been doing relief on my squad. Anyways, it was enough for Welch to piece together the fact that you're not out of town with a sick uncle but here with Dawson. The interim chief heard and now everything's out in the open. The fact that you and Dawson were together when she started her candidacy. The fact that we all hid your relationship from everyone in the CFD outside of 51. The fact that we lied about why you're on leave. Chief Pridgen knows about all of it, and the bastard only seemed too eager to report it."

"No one did anything wrong," Matt would always believe that.

"You had to know it could be a problem though. Sure you had to put off getting married because once you were, the rules would have prevented you and Dawson from serving in the same company, but if you didn't think your relationship would be an issue for the CFD even without wedding rings, then the fact that it was kept secret makes no sense," Severide pointed out. "Pridgen already suspended me indefinitely over the whole thing. Not sure if that can stick. His argument was that I set a bad example by lying about all of this. The whole house could be in some type of trouble though, and you and Boden, especially, could be in a lot of trouble. Chief was going to try to see what he could do to protect everyone."

"It doesn't matter," Casey responded.

"What?" Severide didn't get it.

"Look I hope you guys come out of this okay, and I'm sorry you're all caught up in it. As for what they do to me, it doesn't really matter as long as they don't go after Gabby," Casey explained.

"Case we're talking about your career here. I don't know how far they can take this, but I think you could possibly lose your bugle over this," Severide protested.

"Look at where we are. Look at what's been going on for the past month. Gabby nearly died. She's in a coma, and she's physically doing okay, but she's not showing any signs of coming out of the coma. She will. I know she will," Matt's voice was shaky as he spoke. "She's…she's my girl, and there's nothing I can do to help her. I'm stuck sitting and waiting and hoping that she knows I'm here and that she can hear me every time I tell her just how much I love her. So you think I care about my career or my rank? Compared to Gabby they're meaningless, and I'd gladly give up my bugle and even being a firefighter if it meant she would wake up."

"I'm sorry man," Severide wasn't really sure what to say to that. He knew there was more he needed to tell Casey, but that really wasn't an appropriate lead in for it, and honestly, he wasn't sure now was the time. Instead the two men sat in silence, Severide eating his pizza and Matt staring blankly at his, trying to hold back the tears that had started to form when he talked about Gabby because he didn't want Severide to see him cry.

"You didn't need to bring me down here to tell me that," Matt said once he'd regained his composure several minutes later. "Gabby's family knows that the reason we put the wedding on hold was because she was doing her candidacy on 81 and that to make that happen we were hiding our engagement and even our relationship from the CFD. I could be wrong, but I'm also pretty sure they know that my being her commanding officer is ultimately what broke us up. There was no need to hide this from them."

"That's not why I wanted to talk in private. Something else happened today that I thought you should know about. Beth showed up at 51 this morning," as he was speaking Severide decided to just come out with it.

"Who?" Matt asked.

"The woman you had the one night stand with the night of Dawson's accident," Severide informed him.

"Oh," Matt responded, briefly wondering what it said about him that he had forgotten her name.

"Thing is I'm pretty sure she doesn't want it to be a one night stand. She was looking for you. Seemed eager to see you and bothered by the fact that you hadn't called her. I tried to put the idea of there being anything between the two of you out of her head, but I don't know if it worked," Severide explained. "I've also heard that she's telling people about how she's in a relationship with a firefighter, and her story about how they met sounds an awful lot like the night you met her."

"I'm sure she'll get over it," Matt replied.

"I don't know man," Severide responded. "I got a weird vibe from her. My whole conversation with her, hearing what she's been saying to other people. Something seems off. I'd watch your back if I were you."

"It's not like she has any idea where I am. Does she?" Matt wanted to think this was nothing, but he couldn't help worrying about the possibility that it wasn't. His mind immediately racing towards Gabby. If Severide was right and this woman had issues, Gabby was completely defenseless right now. Sure she was surrounded by him and her family and an entire hospital staff but would that be enough? He was the only one of them who knew about this woman, and he wasn't even sure if he would recognize her if he saw her. He didn't want anyone, especially the Dawson clan, to know about what he had done, and certainly didn't want to have to tell them at Gabby's bedside. If this woman did pose a threat though, he might not have a choice.

"Not as far as I know," Severide answered.

"I need to get back to Gabby," Matt was suddenly even more afraid than usual to let her out of his sight.

"I should probably get home and figure out what I'm going to say when I go down to the CFD tomorrow anyways," Severide said. "I'll bring a phone charger for you tomorrow."

"Thanks," Matt replied. "One more favor. Can you see what you can find out about this woman?"

"Yeah. Newhouse actually got back last week. I'll ask him to put his PI skills to work on this. He was transferred to first watch on Squad Two so we shouldn't have to worry about anything getting around 51," Severide offered before the two men got up and went their separate ways.

* * *

Author's Note: So I'm pretty sure the show technically had Newhouse go on vacation and just never come back, which I always thought was strange so I figured I'd find a way to tie his exit into my story in order to create a real explanation for it. Hopefully, I'm not missing something and this doesn't conflict with anything that actually happened on the show as that's not an aspect of the show I'm trying to rewrite.

Anyways, please let me know what you thought. Until next time :)


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Once again sorry for the long delay. Life continues to be busy and while I've been trying to evenly split time between this and Life of Lies, I seem to be making more progress with the latter. Anyways, this chapter is a little shorter than the last two, but hopefully, it's worth the wait.

As always, I do want to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed this story after Chapter 18. I hope you enjoy Chapter 19 and please leave a review.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

Matt sat in the waiting room outside the Lakeshore ICU. It was early in the morning, and Antonio, Camila, and Ramon had yet to arrive for the day. A physical therapist had stopped by to work on Gabby in an attempt to minimize the weakening of her muscles while she lay comatose. It wasn't her normal physical therapist, Maryanne, though. He preferred Maryanne, and not just because she would let him stay in the room while she worked. His attempts at convincing this guy to let him stay had been futile. He hoped this guy wouldn't be taking over permanently. That was his other problem. The fact that today's physical therapist had been a guy. He didn't quite understand why. Various male members of the medical staff had had to touch her in order to treat her, and he hadn't had any issue with that, but there was something about her physical therapist being a guy, maybe it was what that particular role entailed, that just irked him.

He looked down as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and recognized a number from CFD headquarters. He hit ignore. It had been nearly four days since the interim chief had found out where he really was and why, and three days since Severide had stopped by with one of the phone chargers he kept in their apartment. This was the tenth call he'd received from the CFD since his phone had come back to life; the interim chief had clearly told everything to the higher ups. Matt had answered the first few calls, but they had always wanted him to come down to headquarters. That meant leaving Gabby and so it wasn't an option. Eventually he'd just started ignoring the calls.

He knew it probably was just going to make things worse for him, but he had meant it when he told Severide that he really didn't care about his career right now. If they were going to take his bugle or fire him because he was ignoring them on top of everything else, so be it. The real problem, at least in his eyes, was that he wasn't doing anything to protect Gabby. If he actually talked to them, he could try to make sure that he was the one who took the heat for this, that Gabby came out of it as unscathed as possible. He would be able to argue that Gabby was just a candidate and didn't know any better. She'd only seen the workings and dynamics of a firefighter company as an outsider. He was the one with the experience and the responsibility, the one who knew that the CFD did not approve of couples serving in the same company let alone a candidate serving under her lieutenant fiancée and would never have agreed to place Gabby on 81, if they'd had any idea that they were in love with each other never mind engaged. If he had to, he'd even claim that he had pressured her into doing her candidacy on 81 so he could keep her safe instead of admitting how excited she'd been when he told her that it was an option. He'd do anything to protect her from this just like he'd do anything to protect her from well anything. That wasn't quite true though. There was one thing he wouldn't do, and it was the one thing he probably needed to do most in order to protect her in this instance. He wouldn't leave the hospital, preferably her side. His need to protect her was overwhelmed by his need to be here when she woke up and his fear of something bad happening when he wasn't here.

So he just kept ignoring the CFD even though it might mean he was once again failing her like he'd done so many times since she'd become a candidate. At least Severide had been reinstated pending the outcome of apparently several investigations. The union had stepped in and successfully argued that Pridgen did not have the authority to suspend him while everything was still being looked into. Although things were probably pretty awkward at 51 these days since from what he'd been told Pridgen was still there.

* * *

Later that afternoon Matt was sitting in Gabby's room with her family when an orderly stuck his head in.

"Mr. Casey, there's someone here to see you," the man said.

"You can send them back here," Matt replied.

"He's insisting on seeing you outside the ICU," the orderly informed him.

"It's okay. Just don't go far, and we'll get you the moment something changes," Camila offered. She had figured out weeks ago just how hard it was for him to leave her daughter's side.

Matt reluctantly got up and kissed Gabby before making his way out of her room. He was surprised to see Chief Tiberg standing just beyond the ICU doors.

"Chief," Matt said as he approached the man.

"Lieutenant," Chief Tiberg acknowledged. "I didn't want to close the investigation until I was able to get the story from you so I figured that if you wouldn't come to me, I should just come down here. Is there somewhere we can talk?"

"The waiting room is just through those doors," Matt pointed it out.

"Perfect," Chief Tiberg replied. The two men made their way into the room and towards a corner where they would have some privacy.

"So I understand that when Dawson was given a spot on Truck 81 she was your girlfriend," Chief Tiberg started.

"Yes," Matt wondered whether it would make things worse for Gabby if he acknowledged that they had actually been engaged. He didn't want to get caught in another lie, but at the same time, if secretly dating had been crossing a line, then secretly being engaged was way over the line and Gabby could be in even more trouble.

"But from what I've been told, you're no longer together," Chief Tiberg said.

"No, we're not," Matt replied sadly.

"When did you break up?" Chief Tiberg asked.

"A couple weeks before Christmas," Matt answered.

"So you spent months working in the same company as lieutenant and candidate while you were also a couple, and based on the address in both of your personnel records, you were also living together," Chief Tiberg commented. "Why did the two of you break up?"

"How is that any of your business?" Matt got defensive here.

"Lieutenant there are two separate issues here. One is the fact that your relationship seems to have been intentionally hidden so that your girlfriend would be allowed to serve under you, and then you lied about where you were to keep that fact hidden. The second is whether or not your relationship with Dawson affected your leadership and inner-workings of Truck Company 81," Chief Tiberg explained.

"We never took our personnel problems into the firehouse and definitely not on a call," Matt knew that wasn't completely true. The day they'd broken up they had a huge fight about everything while at work that had ultimately led to Gabby leaving shift. That was the only time though, and he was pretty sure that no one other than him and Gabby knew the real reason she left shift that day. "Was there an adjustment period? Sure, but it only lasted a couple of shifts. After that everything was pretty much back to normal on 81."

"So I'll ask again, why did you two break up?" Chief Tiberg clearly wasn't satisfied with the answer he'd been given.

"We were having personal problems," Matt simply stated.

"So nothing to do with work?" Chief Tiberg pressed.

"It was my fault, okay?" Matt snapped. "We said we'd be able to leave work at work and home at home. We got the second part down fine, but I couldn't hold up my end of the bargain on the first part. When we got home and she wanted to talk about her day because that's what couples do. They listen and support each other. Only I couldn't do that. I couldn't stop being her boss so I shot her down when all she wanted, when what she needed, was for me to be there for her once we got home. Then when as her boss I was angry at her, I took that home with me. I managed to be what I was supposed to be at work but not at home. I failed her at home, and that's why I lost her."

"I'm sorry, but that's a big part of why we would have never allowed Dawson to serve under you had we known about your relationship," Chief Tiberg said. "It's not just about what's in the best interests of the department but what's in your best interests as well. Now, I know from Wallace that he knew about the two of you when he gave her the spot on 81. It actually explains a lot. It didn't make sense why he had always been advocating for her as a firefighter but wouldn't accept her on 81. How exactly did it all come about?"

"Well, she was originally assigned to Truck 66, but you guys let Welch take that away from her," Matt said accusingly. "No one had any idea how long it would be before another spot would open up for her. Boden made some calls, but I don't think he was getting anywhere because he asked me if I thought we'd be able to handle working together. Gabby and I talked and decided we could. Truth is I was relieved to know that every single person she'd been working with was someone I trusted. I knew everyone on 81, in the whole firehouse, would have her back. Can't say that about everywhere. The way she was forced off 66 before even starting is proof of that."

Matt felt like in some respects he was throwing Chief Boden under the bus by acknowledging that putting Gabby on 81 had been his idea, but it was far more important to protect Gabby than Boden. Besides, when he stopped by to see them the other day, Boden said that he had already admitted everything about how Dawson serving on 81 under Casey had come about, including the fact that he knew about their relationship and chose to ignore it.

"Look," Matt spoke again after about a minute. "This whole thing isn't Gabby's fault. She's a candidate. She had her superiors telling her it was okay. Her best friend had just died and now she was being told that she could stay with the people who felt that loss almost as much as she did. I'm the one who should be in trouble here, and I'm willing to take sole responsibility for this. I'm the one who should have known better. I'm the officer. Punish me but leave her out of it. Please."

"You still love her," Chief Tiberg observed. It was so obvious and not just because the man had spent a month at her bedside. He wondered how none of them had seen it sooner. Maybe this whole mess could have been avoided if he had just opened his eyes.

"More than anything," Matt said.

* * *

" _Do you mind if we can see if there's any sort of update on the girl from the accident yesterday?" Matt asked as he and Gabby walked hand in hand into Chicago Med. They were on their way to visit Diego after his appendectomy the previous evening._

" _Sure. We can swing by the ED on our way up," Gabby replied._

" _Thanks," Matt said as they entered the building, turning towards the Emergency Department instead of the elevator bank._

" _Hey Maggie," Gabby called as she spotted the charge nurse near the admin desk._

" _Hey you two. I saw your nephew in here yesterday. He was a real trooper. Pedes is up on the third floor if that's what brings you by" Maggie said._

" _That's our next stop. I got the room number from my brother," Gabby responded._

" _We were actually wondering about a little girl from the car accident on the expressway yesterday. She was about six or seven. Shay and Brett would have brought her in," Matt told Maggie._

" _I think Brett said her name's Sabrina. Her mom was DOA, and Shay said you guys remembered her from when her dad was a patient here last year. He died of cancer," Gabby added._

" _Sabrina Barber," Maggie informed them. "She's really lucky. She's in the PICU but is expected to make a full recovery. Her grandparents and an uncle are with her."_

" _Thank God," Matt was clearly relieved._

" _Thanks Maggie," Gabby told the nurse before turning her attention to Matt. "We should probably get upstairs though. When I spoke to Antonio this morning, he and Laura were planning on waiting until we got here to go get breakfast. I don't think they want to leave Diego alone."_

 _With that they said their goodbyes and headed towards the elevator. Once on the third floor, they went straight to Diego's room, where they found him lying in bed, a tray with a glass of water at his side. Meanwhile Antonio and Laura were sitting on either side of him._

" _How you feeling?" Gabby asked her nephew as she and Matt entered the room._

" _It hurts, and I'm hungry," Diego whined._

" _Diego, stop complaining. You're not five," Antonio scolded his son._

" _Sorry about that," Laura said. "He's been in a sour mood since they told him was allowed liquids but not any food."_

" _From what I understand that's pretty standard," Gabby replied._

" _Yeah. The doctor told us that if it looks like he can tolerate the liquids, they'll try solid food later this afternoon," Laura explained._

" _How long are you guys planning on staying?" Antonio asked._

" _We can stay as long as you want us to," Gabby offered._

" _You sure?" Laura queried._

" _Yeah," Matt finally spoke. "Neither of us have anything we need to do for work today. We were just going to hang out at home."_

" _Alright. Antonio and I are going to head to the cafeteria," Laura whispered. "I'll fill you two in on what you need to know for this weekend when we get back. Thanks for watching him."_

" _Of course," Gabby replied before Antonio and Laura left the room._

" _So Diego, what do you want to do?" Gabby asked as she took a seat next to the hospital bed._

" _Auntie Gabby, can you or Uncle Matt go to the vending machine and get me some chips," Diego put on his best cute face._

" _Sorry, but I think we should probably listen to the doctors there," Gabby informed her nephew._

" _Why don't we watch some TV?" Matt suggested._

" _This place doesn't get any good channels," Diego complained. "I wish I was home."_

" _I have an idea. When your parents get back, why don't Aunt Gabby and I go get some of your stuff from home," Matt offered another suggestion._

" _Please," Diego's face seemed to light up at the suggestion._

" _Thank you," Gabby mouthed to Matt, glad that he had managed to get Diego to calm down._

* * *

" _How is it that you're already done packing?" Gabby asked the following morning as they were getting ready to head to the inn in Galena. Matt's suitcase was fully packed and already in his truck while her suitcase sat on their bed, half-filled. So far she'd managed to pack her toiletries, some pajamas, and one outfit. She'd also snuck in a couple sets of lingerie when he was bringing his suitcase out to the car. While he probably had some idea that she would be bringing lingerie, it was supposed to be a romantic weekend after all, she wanted what she was bringing to be a surprise._

" _Easy. I just grabbed enough stuff for three days. You're the one who keeps taking things out of the closet, examining them, and then putting half of them back," Matt teased her._

" _Well, I want to make sure I bring the right stuff. It's not every day we go away for the weekend. I need to think about what makes the most sense to bring and what I'm going to look good in," Gabby defended herself._

" _First of all, you don't need to worry about what you look good in. There's nothing you don't look good in. Second of all, we've never gone away together before," Matt told her._

" _No way," she replied._

" _Yes way," he shot back._

" _That's ridiculous. We have to have done something," Gabby commented._

" _Try to think of one time we've gone anywhere for a night even. We've never even shared a hotel room," Matt replied._

" _Oh my God. You're right," Gabby said after she racked her brain trying to think of one night they'd spent together that wasn't at his old apartment, her old apartment, or their current apartment. The night they'd spent in a hotel during Severide's marriage to Brittany wouldn't have happened in this world. There were a few nights she'd spent in his office at the firehouse back when she was still a paramedic plus the night a few months ago after she was attacked at Molly's, but that was the extent of it. "How is it that after all this time, we've never actually gone away together?"  
_

" _There was always something going on. You were at the Academy. Then Diego was kidnapped and you got trapped in the explosion at Chicago Med. Then you were working to retake the physical exam. Then there was the whole fallout from Welch giving your spot away causing you to start on 81, and you were just starting out as a candidate. Then we were fighting. Now that we're back on track though, it's the perfect time to do something like this," Matt explained._

" _When you put it like that, it's been a crazy year," Gabby observed as she caught a glimpse of the clock. "Crap."_

" _What?" Matt wasn't sure what she was referring to._

" _It's almost noon, and we have a three hour drive to Galena not counting the time it's going to take for us to stop for lunch," Gabby explained. "I want to be able to get fully settled before dinner time so we need to leave soon, and I'm not even halfway through packing."_

" _You know you could always skip packing clothes," Matt suggested._

" _And what you want me walking around town naked?" Gabby replied._

" _Definitely not. That gorgeous image is for my eyes only. We just won't leave the room. I mean the room is going to have a hot tub and a bed. You, me, hot tub, bed. What else do we need?" he clarified._

" _And what do we do about food?" she asked._

" _Didn't Laura say that the inn provides a complimentary breakfast each morning in our room so that's taken care of. I'm sure we could order room service or takeout for lunch and dinner," he added before starting to kiss her neck._

" _Matt," she started to moan as she fought to regain her composure. "I love you, but there's no point in going away for the weekend if we're just going to have sex the entire time. If that's all we do, then we might as well have stayed home and done that here. Now I need you to leave so I can focus on packing or you just might not get any this weekend."_

" _Fine," Matt said as he spun her around and placed a quick kiss on her lips before turning to walk away._

" _Thanks," Gabby called as she watched him walk out of their bedroom._

" _I still like my idea," he replied from the hall._

* * *

 _Nearly four hours later Matt and Gabby arrived at the inn where they'd be staying for their romantic long weekend. Matt grabbed their bags out of the back of his truck and they made their way inside._

" _Welcome to the Goldmoor Inn. My name is Colleen. How may I help you?" a woman standing by the front desk said as the couple approached her._

" _We have a reservation for this weekend. It should be under Dawson," Gabby replied, prompting Colleen to start typing into her computer._

" _Ahh. I see it. Antonio and Laura. Except there's a note in here saying they were transferring their reservation to someone else," Colleen read from her screen._

" _Yes. I'm Gabby and this is Matt," Gabby confirmed._

" _Alright. Well, I'll just need you to fill out a few forms since the reservation isn't actually in your name," Colleen informed them as she handed them a clipboard and a pen. "You can take a seat over there to fill this out, and then just come back up here with the completed forms, and I can finish checking you in."_

" _Okay," Matt said as he took the forms from her and did just that._

" _Here you go," Gabby said as they returned the forms._

" _Alright. So I see you'll be with us for the next three nights. You're in the Covington Suite. It's our most romantic suite. It's on the main floor with views of the Mississippi River. Breakfast will be served in your room each morning. We suggest making reservations in advance for both our restaurant and the spa. They're both generally too busy to take walk-ins. Although the restaurant will deliver to your room without a reservation but with a five dollar surcharge. That said your package does include a dinner reservation at the restaurant tonight. Seven o'clock. If you'd like me to provide you with any information on what there is to do in Galena, please let me know. Otherwise, here are your room keys." Colleen explained._

" _I think we'll take whatever information you can give us," Gabby said, prompting Colleen to hand her a bunch of information packets. As they made their way to their room, Matt gave her a look though, indicating that he saw the information as unnecessary because he still preferred not leaving the room all weekend._

 _They made it to their room, and Gabby used one of the keys to open the door as Matt was holding their bags._

" _Wow. This room is gorgeous," she said as she walked into the room and started looking around. Matt put their bags down and joined her._

" _Mattress is nice and soft too," he said as he sat down on the bed, making Gabby laugh._

" _Is that all you can think about?" Gabby teased._

" _Well, it's just me and you, away from it all, not a care in the world," Matt said as he pulled her down onto the bed with him, causing her to squeal._

 _Gabby was more on top of him than the mattress though and couldn't help leaning down to capture his lips with her own. Their kisses got more passionate, and Matt slid his hand under the bottom of her shirt, starting to caress the small of her back. She loved the feel of his fingers against her skin, but reluctantly, she pulled away._

" _There'll be time for that later. I promise. We do need to get settled though," she said as she rolled off of him and onto the mattress itself. "You're right. It is nice and soft, and I love the canopy too. I've always loved the idea of a canopy bed. There's something about it that just always said old school romance to me."_

" _You never told me that," Matt commented. "We could have looked at some when we were picking out furniture for the apartment."_

" _I totally can't see you owning a canopy bed," Gabby laughed before looking around the room again._

 _At the base of the bed was a sofa and beyond that was a fireplace. It was hard to tell from her position on the bed, but it looked like there was a decent amount of space between the sofa and the fireplace. She smiled as she was pretty sure there was more than enough space for her and Matt to sit by the fire after getting out of the hot tub among other things. The hot tub itself was situated in a bay window. Aside from a couple of trees, she couldn't quite see what was beyond the window, but based on what Colleen had said, she imaged it was the river. It would be a great view, especially if Matt was part of the view. Next to the hot tub and window was a door that looked like it led to a patio. Then between the bed and the door they had come through was a table, and on the table was what looked like a bottle of wine or champagne, sitting in a bucket of ice along with two champagne flutes and a bouquet of roses._

" _I see why they were describing this room as the romantic suite," she said once she'd taken it all in. "It's amazing. We may not be spending the entire weekend in here, but there are definitely plenty of places to have some fun in here."_

" _Yes there are," Matt agreed. "We have a couple of hours until dinner."_

" _We do," Gabby simply stated._

" _Plenty of time to unpack," Matt commented. He looked at her almost as if he was daring her to do what she originally said she wanted to do. She didn't really want to do it anymore though so she just continued to lay there, looking at him with a smile on her face. He took that as all the permission he needed as this time, he rolled on top of her._

* * *

 _It was after dinner and Gabby and Matt were sitting on the floor by the fireplace. The pamphlets they had gotten from Colleen were scattered between them as they were trying to figure out what they were going to do during the two full days they were here._

" _So there's a bunch of wineries in the area. Maybe we could do a tour and a tasting tomorrow afternoon," Gabby suggested._

" _Sure. What about in the morning? Lazy morning in bed?" Matt smiled at her._

" _I was thinking maybe we could call the spa and see if we could get a couple's massage in the morning," Gabby said._

" _Or I could give you a massage," Matt offered._

" _You're not a professional masseuse and we don't exactly have the oils or the hot stones or anything that would make it a real massage," Gabby pointed out._

" _I'm sure I could make it quite enjoyable," Matt argued._

" _You touching me is always enjoyable. That's not really the point though. I guarantee you, I cannot give you the type of experience a trained masseuse can," Gabby replied. "We're here for a relaxing and romantic weekend. How can we not get a couple's massage?"_

" _Oh yeah. Some guy seeing and putting his hands all over your naked body a few feet away from me is going to be really relaxing," Matt muttered, prompting Gabby to burst into a fit of laughter. "What's so funny?"_

" _That's why you don't want to get a couple's massage," Gabby managed to get out as she tried to calm down. "The possibility that my masseuse could be a guy bothers you."_

" _How could it not?" Matt replied._

" _Oh Matt. We don't know that my masseuse will be a guy. In fact, it'll probably be a woman, and for all we know, it'll be a woman putting her hands all over your naked body. What I do know is that whoever it is, he or she is not going to see my whole body, just bits and pieces of it at a time, and their touch will not have anywhere near the effect on me that yours does. I've had a couple's massage before, and trust me, it'll be completely relaxing and totally worth it," Gabby said before leaning over, making sure he got a good view of her cleavage through her blouse before whispering in his ear. "But if in the end you find the fact that someone else is touching me so bothersome that you can't relax, I promise to make it up to you in the most relaxing and pleasurable way possible." She then ran her tongue along the base of his earlobe as she moved her mouth towards one of her favorite spots on his neck._

" _Remind me to make sure I tell you I was bothered by it," Matt said when she pulled away a minute later._

" _So I was thinking for dinner tomorrow we could get room service and champagne and watch the sun set over the river from the hot tub," Gabby returned to their plans for the next day._

" _Now that's my favorite idea so far," Matt said._

" _Then I think we have a plan," Gabby replied. "What about Sunday? And don't say we spend the day in bed."_

" _That'll always be my first choice, but if you really don't want to, I think I saw a pamphlet for a distillery," Matt said._

" _Here it is," Gabby said as she found it on the floor and picked it up. "There's also one for a brewery. Both look to be near or in downtown."_

" _Brewery sounds good too," Matt said._

" _We could go explore downtown Galena on Sunday. Head down there mid-to-late morning and play it by ear. Hit up one or both of the distillery and brewery, do some shopping, it looks like there's also some historical sights and museums. Their main street is supposed to be great," Gabby suggested._

" _Fine with me. That would allow us to take our time in the morning," Matt replied._

" _Oh my god Matthew," Gabby shook her head._

" _What?" Matt asked._

" _We've basically planned a weekend that revolves around alcohol and sex, and you're still obsessing over how much time we're going to have for sex. The other day you were all excited about how when we got here, we could go out and not ever have to worry about any need to hide our relationship, but now that we're actually here, all you want to do is stay in," Gabby told him._

" _You may not know what it's like to make love to you, but I do," Matt started to say._

" _I know what it's like to make love to you though," Gabby pointed out._

" _And it's one of the best things in the world," Matt continued as if she hadn't spoken. "So now that we're away from our life, how could I not want to take advantage of the time we have."_

 _Gabby blushed at his words._

" _I love making love to you too," Gabby leaned over to kiss him. "Well, about that lazy morning in bed you're so desperate for. We just have to be out of here by noon on Monday, right? We should definitely have time to make sure we give this bed and that hot tub one last whirl before heading home. Now I do have a surprise for you. I'll be right back"_

 _Gabby grabbed a bag out of her suitcase and headed into the bathroom. At this point, she was pretty sure Matt had some idea what his surprise was, but short of kicking him out of the room and telling him to come back in a few minutes, she didn't really have any other way to give it to him. Once in the bathroom, she pulled out the contents of the bag: a black and gold lace corselet and a matching thong. She took off the clothes she's been wearing for most of the day and put on her new outfit before making her way back out to Matt._

" _Wow," he said once he laid eyes on her._

" _You like?" she asked. "I picked it up on my way to work at Molly's last night. Thought it would be nice to bring something new."_

" _I love it," he replied as moved towards her._

" _I'm glad," Gabby said once they were mere inches apart._

 _She leaned up to kiss him as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her towards him. Slowly Matt's clothes came off as their hands and mouths roamed each other's bodies. Shortly after Matt had been relieved of everything but his boxers leaving him practically as exposed to her as she was to him, he pulled away from her and spoke._

" _Bed or hot tub?" he asked. His tone indicating that her answer would determine what he did next._

 _At this point, Gabby was extremely turned on and very much wanted to feel him inside her soon. Looking down it was clear that Matt was in pretty much the same state, but she also knew that if she said hot tub, this night would last longer._

" _Well, we've already tried out the bed," she said after a moment. "So let's try out the hot tub."_

 _With those words, Matt leaned down quickly to turn the water on before pulling her back into his arms. His lips captured hers before moving down to the most sensitive spot on her neck as his hands expertly started removing the corselet. Gabby couldn't help but smile inside as she let out a moan. Matt was right earlier. There was really nothing better than when they made love._

* * *

Author's Note: So the Goldmoor Inn is a real place, but I've never been there or to Galena and this was in no way intended to be a plug for either. I simply found them through Google while putting this chapter together, and for the most part, what's in the chapter concerning the Inn and Galena were things I found in their websites or other tourist sites. It may be a dream in a piece of fanfiction, but I wanted to make it as accurate/realistic as possible because Gabby's dreamworld is supposed to be realistic otherwise it wouldn't really work so let's just assume that Gabby had a friend who stayed there once and her observations were based on what the friend told her.

That does it for now so until next time, please leave a review.


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note: Wow. When I posted Chapter Nineteen, I never imagined it would be three months before I got Chapter Twenty up. I clearly failed at juggling two stories, and since finishing Life Of Lies, I've been slammed. I'm going to try to do better going forward but obviously no guarantees.

Anyways, as always thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and favorited and/or followed this story in the past few months. The support and feedback continues to mean a lot to me. To the guest who asked if I'm on twitter, the answer is no. I never really got twitter so I don't have an account.

I also want to address some of the reviews I got concerning the pacing of the story and possibility that I'm overly attached to the dreamworld. I understand that my writing style isn't for everyone, if it makes people not want to continue reading the story, I get it. However, I've always had an outline and plan for this story and am not going to abandon them simply to make some people happy. I think that would be a disservice to the story I want to tell and skipping over things is just going to lead to the story not making sense. Would that really be better than a slow burn where you actually get to see and hopefully experience what the characters are going through? As for the dreamworld, I will admit that in a lot of ways its what I wish season 3 had been, but if I was just trying to write a better version of season 3 it would have been its own story. To me the dreamworld is an integral piece of this story and its overall plot. It's a journey Gabby's going on, and I intend to see that journey through. If all this makes me a loser, then so be it.

Getting off the soap box now and turning you over to the chapter. Enjoy : )

* * *

Chapter Twenty

Christie pulled up in front of the bar and was relieved to see that she had the right place. The sign that said "Molly's" indicated that she had found it. Now she just needed to find a parking space. It seemed a little strange that this would be her first time here when up until a few months ago, one of the owners had practically been family. She and Matt had come a long way since their mother was released from prison two years ago. While they would probably never be the closest siblings in the world, she had not just gotten her brother back, but felt like she'd started to gain a sister in Gabby. At least until Matt had told her the engagement was off and that he wasn't sure where things stood with him and Gabby. The few times she'd tried to bring it up since, Matt had quickly changed the subject so she knew he was still in love with his ex and wasn't surprised to learn that he had been at her side since she got hurt.

Finally finding a parking space, Christie got out of her car and headed into the bar. She probably should have come days ago, but she knew Gabby owned the place with some of her coworkers and felt a little awkward seeing them given what had happened when she had stopped by the firehouse the other day. However, Matt still hadn't returned her calls. She was disappointed, but she understood that Gabby was probably all Matt cared about at the moment. Still, it left her with no way to find out how Gabby was and what hospital she was at other than to see their coworkers.

"Casey's sister, right?" a man called from behind the bar as she approached. She recognized him from her visit to 51, and he clearly recognized her.

"Yeah," she replied as she took a seat.

"I'm sorry I don't remember your name," he apologized.

"Christie," she answered simply.

"Christopher Hermann," he introduced himself. "What can I get you?"

"How about a glass of Shiraz?" she hadn't intended to get a drink, just information, but now that she was here, she felt like it would be rude to not get something. Besides, maybe the wine would make this encounter less awkward.

"Coming up," Hermann said as he reached for a wine glass.

"Hey. I'm sorry about the other day," Christie said as he placed her drink down in front of her. "I had no idea that anything had happened to Gabby or that what was going on with Matt was supposed to be some big secret and my showing up would blow his cover story. I was just worried about him. Did I cause too many problems for all of you?"

"It's not your fault," Hermann knew it would be easy to blame her, but she really was an innocent party in all this. "The department's investigating though. We're still waiting to find out what they're gonna do."

"Well, I hope it turns out okay for all of you," Christie said sincerely.

"Thanks," Hermann replied.

"Can I ask what hospital Gabby's in?" Christie queried. "I still can't get in touch with Matt."

"She's at Lakeshore. Room 417. It's in the ICU," Hermann informed her. "As for your brother, he's struggling."

"I'm not really surprised by that. Do you know what happened?" Christie asked.

"Not all the details. I know the driver's side of her car was hit by another car that was speeding and ran a red light, which somehow led to her getting electrocuted," Hermann started to explain.

"Oh God," Christie couldn't help but burst in at that last bit of information.

"Driver was some kid, who wasn't even old enough to have a license," Hermann continued. "She was pretty badly injured. Doctors weren't even expecting her to survive. Then again once she did, they weren't expecting her to fall into a coma so what do they really know? Anyways, from what I remember she had massive internal injuries from the impact and the electric shock damaged her heart; they had to put in a pacemaker. She got an infection after her second surgery –"

"Why did she need two surgeries?" Christie cut in.

"The night of the accident she was pretty unstable so they dealt with the life threatening injuries at that point and then went back in again later to deal with the non-life threatening injuries. Physically from what Casey and her family have told us, everything seems to be healing okay considering. Although she's going to require lots of physical therapy whenever she wakes up. Your brother has convinced himself that she'll recover fully once she wakes up. No one else thinks so."

"You don't think she's going to wake up?" Christie took a big gulp of her wine as she let what she had just been told sink in.

"No. Dawson's a fighter. We're all sure she's doing everything she can to try to come back. It's just no matter how much of a fighter she is, it's not going to be enough for her to recover fully. She's going to have to spend the rest of her life dealing with what that accident did to her. Your brother just doesn't want to hear it so whatever you do, don't try to reason with him on that. It'll just piss him off," Hermann explained.

"That's love for you," Christie said simply. She didn't need to be told about how her brother had reacted to what had happened to Gabby to know that he was still very much in love with ex.

* * *

The following afternoon, Matt was sitting at Gabby's bedside along with Antonio, Camila, and Ramon. The Blackhawks game was on the TV. Although no one was paying attention to it in part because they knew what happened and in part because in a strange way staring at Gabby's unconscious form was far more interesting than hockey. Technically it was a re-airing of the previous night's game. Antonio had come in this morning and announced that they should put on whatever TV shows and events they could that Gabby would normally watch. He had done some reading overnight and found some article that said it can help stimulate coma patients. Personally, Matt had a hard time seeing how it could do a better job stimulating Gabby than they could, but he didn't see any point in arguing.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Everyone looked at each other quickly. They were all a little confused by the fact that someone was knocking instead of just letting themselves in. That meant that it must not be anyone from 51 or a member of the medical staff.

"You can come in," Camila called.

"Hi," a woman's voice said. Matt recognized it immediately.

"Christie," he said as she entered the room.

"From what Gabriela's told me, that makes you Matt's sister?" Ramon asked.

"Yes," Christie replied. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Nonsense. We're all basically family," Camila reassured her. "I'm Gabriela's mother, Camila, and this is her father, Ramon. Next to Matt is her brother, Antonio."

"It's nice to meet you all even if it is under these circumstances," she offered. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to come earlier."

"I probably should have called and let you know what's going on. Sorry," Matt didn't think his sister was trying to guilt him or throw him under the bus, but her words still made him feel a bit guilty. "It's just I never really thought about who knew and who didn't know."

"It's okay, Christie reassured him. "I know this has to be really hard on all of you."

"Would you two like some time alone with Gabby?" Antonio asked.

"I don't want to kick you guys out of her room," Christie protested even though she thought it would be nice.

"Don't worry about it," Camila said. "We're here all the time. You haven't gotten to see her yet. We'll be in the waiting room. Just swing by on your wait out dear."

With that the three Dawson's left, leaving the two Casey's alone with Gabby.

"That was really nice of them," Christie said.

"Yeah," Matt agreed. "I don't think I would have had it in me to offer to go to the waiting room so someone else could spend time with Gabby, but I learned a long time ago that family always comes first for them. And I know they meant it when they said that we're all practically family. At first I wasn't too sure how they'd feel about me after everything that went wrong with me and Gabby. Now though, I think they want us to get back together almost as much as I do."

"I'm glad. Not about all of this obviously, but the fact that you're still on good terms with Gabby's family. I'm sure she'll be too once she wakes up. I never told you this, but I ran into Gabby a couple of weeks after well, you know. She didn't want to talk much about you two or what happened at least with me, but it was pretty clear that she still loves you just as much as she always has," Christie told him as she moved to sit in the seat across from Matt that Camila had been sitting in.

As she did so she couldn't help but take in the woman who had been, and in some ways still was, all but officially her sister-in-law. Much of Gabby's body was covered by the hospital gown and blankets, but despite the fact that a month had passed, it was obvious that she had been seriously injured. In addition to the wires running in and out of her, Christie noticed that a bunch of small scars had formed on her left cheek and gauze was visible on her chest. Above the blanket, her left arm was in a cast, and based on the way the blanket fell, Christie was pretty sure that her left leg was in a cast as well. Across the bed, her right hand was clasped firmly in Matt's.

Looking at her brother, Christie saw just how hard the past month had been on him. His chair was as close to Gabby's bed as possible. The bags and dark circles under his eyes indicated that he hadn't been sleeping well while the unusually slightly loose fit of his shirt indicated that he hadn't been eating very well. More than that though was the sad, lost look in his eyes. Over the course of his life, Christie had seen a lot of looks on her brother's face, but even during what had then been the darkest time of their lives, she had never seen him look so heartbroken.

"Thanks. I still love her just as much as I always have too, and after all this, that's all that really matters to me. Not everything else that happened. I just hope she feels the same way when she wakes up," Matt replied before changing the subject. "Severide said that you had stopped by 51 looking for me and that you had called. I kept meaning to call you back once I had a charger, and my phone was working again. It's just hard to focus on anything but her."

"I get it," Christie reassured him, wishing she had sat next to him instead of across from him so that she could try to offer some comfort.

"What did you call about anyways?" Matt asked.

"My boss wants to send me and a couple other teachers to a conference during school vacation week next month. I had wanted to know if Violet could stay with you at least when you weren't working, but obviously, I'll figure something else out," Christie explained.

"If Gabby wasn't," Matt started to say.

"I know. I'm sure she can stay at a friend's or something. Speaking of Violet, I told her what happened. Wasn't sure if I should, but I know how much she likes Gabby, and well, I figured that at some point, she'd learn what happened and then want to know why she didn't know earlier. She wanted to come with me, but I figured I should come here by myself first. She made Gabby a card though," Christie reached into her bag to hand it to him, but at that moment they both heard Matt's phone start to buzz against the nightstand. "You gonna get that?"

"It's the CFD," Matt said as he looked at the caller ID, wondering if he should pick it up. Did they still want him to come down? He'd already spoken with Chief Tiberg. They could have follow up questions or maybe this was about his and Gabby's punishment.

"Well answer it," Christie prodded.

"Matt Casey," he said as he picked up the phone.

"Hi Lieutenant, this is Chief Tiberg's office," a woman's voice came through the phone. "I'm calling to let you know that Chief Tiberg is on his way to Lakeshore Hospital to meet with you. He should be there in about fifteen minutes and requests that you meet him inside the main entrance. He's reserved a meeting room for the two of you to talk in."

"Okay," Matt sighed as he tried to figure out what this all meant. He had never even realized that the hospital had meeting rooms that could be reserved. Now not only did Chief Tiberg want to meet with him, but he had reserved one. Last time he had just shown up unexpectedly. Was this a good sign or a bad sign? At least they weren't trying to get him to leave the hospital again. Then again they were asking him to go further away from Gabby than he wanted to be.

He hung up and told Christie what the call had been about. The siblings made small talk for the next ten minutes before getting up so that Matt could meet Chief Tiberg and Christie could leave.

"I'll send Gabby's family back in. You just go down to meet your boss," Christie said as she grabbed her bag. "That way you can get back here faster."

"Thanks," Matt replied. "I just wish he would meet me here."

"I'm sure he has his reasons," Christie responded. "I'm sorry about all of this. I never meant to create any trouble for you. Can you call me afterwards and let me know how it goes?"

"Sure," Matt said as they parted ways. He headed towards the elevator while Christie headed towards the waiting room.

Matt got in and hit the button for the lobby. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he saw Chief Tiberg walking through the main doors.

"Chief," Matt said as he approached the man.

"Lieutenant," Chief Tiberg replied. "This way."

Chief Tiberg led Matt to a small room and gestured for him to take a seat.

"I wanted to let you know in person that the Department has concluded our investigations into everything that has happened at Firehouse 51 over the past eight months, including placing Dawson on Truck 81 and the bogus story that was used to explain your leave of absence," Chief Tiberg began. "We've had a lot of discussion within the Department on how to handle this situation in light of both the present circumstances and CFD policy. As you know the CFD frowns on couples working in the same company and there are rules that prohibit married couples from doing so. Interestingly while there are rules concerning lying about things that happened on the job, CFD policy does not specifically address employees lying about their personal lives or things that happen off the job. That's something that probably needs to be corrected in light of all of this, but it does work in your favor. At the same, the city does have a code of conduct, which you have clearly violated. All of that had to be taken into consideration, and honestly it wasn't easy to reach a consensus. We have however, and we did our best to authorize a punishment that is both fair and within the bounds of department policy.

"Lieutenant Casey, you are hereby suspended for two weeks without pay. A formal reprimand is being issued and added to your record," Chief Tiberg picked up a piece of paper and handed it to Matt. It was a copy of the reprimand. "This reprimand will be considered when reviewing your performance and if you were to ever apply for a promotion to captain. Additionally, when you do return to work, you will be on probation indefinitely and there will be pop up visits to Firehouse 51 and reviews of Truck 81 in order to ensure that your leadership of the company has not been compromised. If we find that it has you will be removed as lieutenant of Truck Company 81 second watch. Whether that removal will result in your being reassigned to a different company or the loss of your bugle will based on the review's findings. Do you have any questions?"

Matt thought it over. Overall, the punishment didn't seem that bad. He hadn't been sure what to expect but had been fully prepared for something far worse. He was almost out of paid leave, by his estimation he had about two shifts worth left, so unless Gabby woke up and started doing really well in the next three weeks, he would be taking those two weeks unpaid anyways. Of course he was hoping that that was exactly what would come to pass with Gabby. Still, if it did, it would just ensure that he got to spend more time with her, and that was more than fine with him. While he knew it was impossible, after everything that had happened, his preference was to spend every second of the rest of his life with her. The reprimand and probation weren't ideal, but he knew he hadn't lost the respect or trust of his men so he had no doubt he'd get through the probationary period fine. In the long-run, his ability and performance would matter far more than the reprimand. Besides, formal reprimands were issued all the time for all sorts of reasons. This one wouldn't be any worse than one for something else. Still, Chief Tiberg had only talked about what would happen to him.

"What about Gabby? Does this mean she's off the hook?" Matt asked.

"We will consider what to do with Dawson once she wakes up and receives a long-term prognosis. Her career as a firefighter is most likely over. If that does turn out to be the case and she chooses not to stay with the CFD in some other capacity, then there is no point in disciplining her," Chief Tiberg explained.

"She's going to be fine, and she'll be back at work and complete her candidacy and be a great firefighter," Matt insisted as he glared at the man, not caring that Chief Tiberg was technically his boss, almost as if daring the man to contract him.

"I hope your right," Chief Tiberg sensed that there was no point in arguing. "I always did like Dawson no matter what Hatcher said about her."

"Is there anything else?" Matt asked, wanting to get back to Gabby.

"That's pretty much it. I probably should be getting back anyways," Chief Tiberg said.

"Thanks," Matt said as Chief Tiberg got up and shook his hand.

The two men walked out of the room together and parted ways. Matt headed straight for the elevator eager to get back to the ICU. Even though he hadn't been down here for long, it felt like it had been way too long. Would anyone have even known where to find him if something had changed?

As soon as the elevator doors opened, he rushed into the ICU and to Gabby's room. When he got there he saw that she was still lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to the same machines, not moving and with her eyes closed. Her parents and brother were in the same seats they had been sitting in when Christie arrived a little over an hour ago. Nothing had changed.

* * *

 _Gabby grabbed the bag of dirty clothes from her locker and headed towards the washing machine, Mills having let her know that he was done with it as he made his way back to the Squad table a few minutes ago. It had been a quiet day at Firehouse 51. A little too quiet. Almost as if it was the calm before the storm. Not that Gabby would dare say that out loud. She didn't believe in jinxes but knew the guys would never let her hear the end of it. Ambo had gotten its first call of the shift a little over half an hour ago, and as far as Gabby knew, Shay and Brett weren't back yet. Truck, Squad, and Engine had yet to leave the house even though it was already the middle of the afternoon._

 _Gabby had just started throwing hers and Matt's laundry into the machine when she heard one of the garage doors open, signaling that Shay and Brett had likely returned. A fact that was confirmed when she heard Shay's voice a few minutes later._

" _Hey Dawson," Shay bounded up to her, a huge smile plastered on her face._

" _What has you so happy?" Gabby asked._

" _You know that call I was just on?" Shay asked but didn't pause for an answer. "Well, Katrina, the patient, was definitely flirting with me, and on our way to Med, when it was just me and her in the back of the ambo, she slipped her number into my pocket, which I didn't realize until Brett and I were on our way back to the house. Guess I was too distracted by how hot she was."_

" _And not your job," Gabby teased._

" _She wasn't that badly hurt," Shay defended herself. "She slipped down some stairs, hit her head, and wound up with a minor concussion and a few bruises. Her boss only called 9-1-1 because he wasn't sure what to do."_

" _Oh Shay," Gabby couldn't help but laugh._

" _Am I the only one who thinks this is inappropriate?" Brett asked as she joined them._

" _Yes, you really need to loosen up," Shay said. "Stop being so straight-laced."_

" _We're talking about dating a patient here," Brett pointed out. "Isn't that crossing a line?"_

" _How do you know she wants a date?" Shay asked._

" _She gave you her number, didn't she?" Brett pointed out._

" _Oh you sweet, naïve girl," Shay laughed. "You definitely need to spend more time with me. Besides, you have Cruz. Dawson has Casey. Don't I deserve a little happiness or at least fun?"_

" _Of course you do. That's not what I meant," Brett protested. "It's just you met her on a call. How is it professional? We're always taught to just drop them off and let it go."_

" _Trust me, Shay won't be the first member of the CFD to get personally involved with someone they met on a call and she won't be last either. Just need to be careful that it's about more than this woman being grateful. That's when it tends to go bad," Gabby explained._

" _Something you've never told me Dawson?" Shay's curiosity was piqued._

" _No. The only people I've ever dated or been with that I met on the job were Mills and Matt. I'm not speaking from personal experience, but I've seen a few things," Gabby explained. "I worked with a guy once, not at 51 but before I got here, who had an affair with a woman he'd saved from a fire. Left his wife for her, but after a few months, she realized that she mistook being grateful for love and left him. Guy blew up his whole life and family for no reason."_

" _I don't think I'm in danger of having that happen," Shay said._

" _No you're not," Gabby agreed._

" _I still don't think this is a good idea," Brett commented._

" _Just be grateful that it's some random patient and not her married ex" Gabby told Brett, prompting Shay to glare at her, clearly not thrilled to have Clarice brought up._

" _Dawson, what's that?" Shay smirked as she caught sight of the item Gabby had pulled out of the laundry bag._

 _Gabby hadn't been paying attention to what she was throwing in the washing machine, but the tone in Shay's voice prompted her to take a look at what she had grabbed. It didn't feel like anything out of the ordinary, but while she was technically holding a pair of Matt's sweatpants, the corselet she'd bought for their trip to Galena was tangled in it and partially visible. When they'd gotten home and were unpacking, she'd found Matt staring at it after he pulled it out of one of their suitcases. While she normally liked to mix up her lingerie, the look on his face was enough to make her put it on several times in the month since they'd gotten back. She was surprised to see it here though. She always tried to separate her lingerie when she's going to be bringing laundry to the firehouse, knowing that if the guys ever caught sight of it, she'd never live it down. And it wasn't like there was a good place to leave it while it dried._

" _Oh that," Gabby was pretty sure she was blushing._

" _Someone's been having some fun," Shay teased. Gabby knew that while Shay would have no problem teasing her about this under any circumstance, this time it was in large part to keep Brett from asking about Clarice._

" _Yeah, well, a girl's got needs and when she has a hot fiancée," Gabby started._

" _That's all I'm saying. The needs part. Not the hot fiancée part obviously," Shay interjected. "It's been months since I've been on a date or gotten any action."_

" _And on that note, I'm gonna go stuff this in my locker before anyone else sees it. And don't you dare tease Matt about this," Gabby was practically waving the corselet at Shay as she said the last part._

" _I'm sure you look damn hot it in girl," Shay called as Gabby headed into the locker room._

" _Looked hot it what?" Gabby heard Matt's voice. He must have made his way into at least the bunkroom if not the laundry room._

" _Oh just this little outfit that Dawson was showing us. Something I imagine you were a big fan of," Shay said. Based on the tone in her friend's voice, Gabby was pretty sure that she was smirking and Matt's face was starting to turn red._

 _Gabby couldn't hear the rest of the conversation from the locker room, but when she returned to the laundry room, she found Shay by herself leaning against the washing machine._

" _I guess I should be glad that you're not sorting through the rest of our dirty clothes," Gabby teased._

" _Well, it's not like Casey's clothes are going to do anything for me," Shay shot back._

" _Speaking of Casey," Gabby started to say before Shay cut her off._

" _Office. I think he wanted to get away from me," Shay cut her off. "He lasted longer than Brett though. She left as soon as I started dropping hints to Casey about what exactly you looked good in. Clearly I was right about the girl needing to loosen up."_

" _She's not uptight," Gabby defended Brett as she put the last of her and Matt's clothes in the washing machine. "Just a little more prim and proper than you. I love you Shay, but not everyone is interested in teasing someone about their sex life or being teased about their own."_

" _Yeah well, that's what makes me so awesome," Shay replied._

" _You are awesome," Gabby laughed as she turned the washing machine on. "I should probably go check on Matt. Make sure you didn't completely mortify him."_

" _Oh come on. Casey should be used to me by now," Shay called after Gabby as she walked the short distance between the washing machine and Matt's door._

" _Being used to you and appreciating you are not always the same thing," Matt yelled from inside his office, clearly having heard at least Shay's last statement through his open door._

" _Hey," Gabby said as she walked into the office. Matt was sitting at his desk with his computer in front of him but closed and no paperwork in sight._

" _What was that about?" he asked._

" _When I was getting our laundry ready to bring to work, I apparently didn't sort through it as well as I should have. Brought something I didn't mean to," Gabby told him as she sat down on his bed._

" _So Shay and Brett saw something that was meant for my eyes only," Matt said._

" _Technically me wearing it is for your eyes only. All they saw was a piece of lingerie tangled in your sweatpants," Gabby told him. "Although it is a shame you're my boss right now considering that it's currently sitting in my locker. I'm sure I could push the image of Shay and Brett seeing some of my lingerie out of your mind."_

" _Trust me. That is not the image in my mind right now," Matt told her. "And I wish I wasn't you're boss right now too because whichever outfit it was, Shay was right about you looking hot in it, but"_

 _The sound of the alarm bells going off and calling them to a structure fire cut Matt off._

" _To be continued when we get home then," Gabby said as she got up from Matt's bed and headed towards the apparatus floor somewhat grateful for the interruption. Apparently, the possibility of someone seeing her lingerie and teasing her and Matt about it wasn't the only reason to keep it out of 51. This conversation was definitely making her horny._

" _Damn right it will," Matt whispered in her ear as he caught up to her. Even though he had technically been the one closer to the door, she had somehow made it out of his office first._

* * *

 _As they pulled up to the scene, Truck 81 found a mid-sized apartment building engulfed in a fully formed fire. As soon as Cruz put the Truck in park, everyone hopped out. Casey exchanged a quick look with Severide, who was in the process of getting out of the Squad and then started barking orders._

" _Mouch, Cruz get the aerial up and vent the roof," he ordered. "Otis, Dawson you take the third floor. Hermann and I have the first and second."_

" _51 get a line on it now," Gabby heard Boden shout as she put her gear on and got ready to head into the building with Otis. She didn't need to hear Severide to know that Squad would be taking the top three floors. Matt's orders had made that clear._

 _Gabby and Otis headed up the stairs to the third floor, where they found a long hall with what looked like 5 units on each side._

" _I'll take the apartments on the left. You take the ones on the right," Otis suggested._

" _Sounds good," Gabby said before turning her attention to the door in front of her. Knocking, she yelled into the room. "Fire Department. Call out."_

 _Gabby and Otis had each made it about halfway down the hall. Neither of them had gotten any response to their calls. Hopefully that meant that that everyone who had been home had made it out before they arrived. Before they could get any farther, Boden's voice came through the radio._

" _Smoke's turning black. Everyone out," he ordered. This was the part Gabby always hated. When the job wasn't done but there was nothing more they could do without potentially getting themselves killed in the process. For all they knew though, there were still people in the apartments they hadn't been able to check, people who wouldn't make it out without their help, and that possibility irked her._

 _They had made it down one flight of stairs when Gabby suddenly stopped._

" _Do you hear that?" Gabby asked._

" _Hear what?" Otis asked in return._

" _That noise," she was convinced she'd heard a noise, quite possibly someone calling for help, from beyond the door that led to the second floor. "I think someone's back there."_

" _I didn't hear anything, and Casey and Hermann were responsible for the second floor. If there was someone back there, I'm sure they would have found them," Otis pointed out._

" _We didn't have time to make it through one floor. There's no way they made it through two," Gabby argued. "I'm going in there."_

" _Dawson, wait," Otis called after her. When she didn't respond, he turned to his radio. "Chief, Dawson thinks she heard someone and is headed back into the building. I'm going after her."_

" _Dawson, Otis," Boden's voice came back through the radio. "Get out of there. Now."_

" _I heard someone in here. I can't just leave them," Gabby called into her radio as she began to look around._

" _This isn't a debate," Boden argued. Gabby just ignored him and continued searching._

" _Dawson, there's no one here," Otis said a minute later when neither of them had found anyone._

" _I heard something," Gabby said._

" _Doesn't mean it was a person," Otis argued._

" _Dawson, time's up. You and Otis need to get out," Matt's voice came through the radio this time. He sounded angry, and she was pretty sure he was talking only to her because he knew that she was the one responsible for her and Otis still being inside, not because she was his fiancée. She just hoped Otis knew it too. She didn't want her relationship with Matt to cause problems in the house._

" _We need to go," Otis called as he pointed towards the fire that was coming towards them. He grabbed Gabby and started pulling her back towards the stairs._

 _They were making their way down when suddenly Otis pushed her down the remaining half flight of stairs and then leapt down after her. Gabby rolled onto her back just in time to see the fire flash over them. Fortunately, they were low enough that it never seemed to actually hit them._

" _You okay?" Otis asked._

" _Yeah," Gabby replied. She was pretty sure she was going to wind up with some bruises from when she hit the floor, but otherwise she was fine. "You?"_

" _Think so," Otis replied._

 _Rolling onto her back, Gabby was able to get a good look at Otis._

" _I think your coat's on fire," she observed._

" _They can take care of it outside," Otis said._

 _They got up and slowly made their way out of the building, careful to avoid the still growing fire as they heard the building start to collapse behind them. Outside they found an angry Chief Boden waiting for them. Gabby immediately locked eyes with Matt. A look of relief quickly flashed over his face before being replaced by a look of fury as he turned his back to her._

" _When I say out, you get out," Boden barked at them as Hermann and Cruz put out the fire on Otis and Shay and Brett approached._

" _Chief," Otis started to speak but got cut off by Shay._

" _We should get you to the hospital to get checked out," she said._

" _Go," Boden ordered before turning his attention to Gabby. "Dawson, I don't care what you think you heard. If you want to keep your job, next time I order you out of a building, you don't argue, you don't ignore me. You think you hear someone, you ask permission to go back in, and if I say no, you get out. That's your job. Mine is to make the decisions necessary to keep you from getting yourself any other firefighter killed."_

 _Boden didn't give her any time to respond. He walked away, turning his attention back to the Engine crew that was attempting to put out the fire. Gabby headed towards the Truck. Matt was standing next to it, drinking from a water bottle._

" _Did you –" she wanted to ask if he and Hermann had made it to the second floor, but before she could get the words out he cut her off._

" _Candidate, get everything packed up so we can head back the house. When we get there, I think the bathroom needs a good scrubbing," Matt said angrily before turning and walking away._

" _Yes Sir," Gabby swallowed. She knew she'd screwed up. A few more seconds and she and Otis might be dead or at least seriously injured. She just hoped that she and Matt would handle things better this time._

* * *

Author's Note: So there's chapter 20. Please leave a review to let me know what you thought. And if the first author's note gave you the wrong idea, I'm not opposed to getting critical feedback. It's just if you're going to be critical, please also try to be kind (and don't call me a loser).

Until next time just know that I'll try to be a lot quicker with 21.


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note: Once again thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, or favorited this story after the last story. I'd also like to thank everyone whose been reading this story, even if you haven't reviewed. It means a lot to me to see that what to me at least seems like a lot of people are still interested in this after 15 months, 20 chapters, and 100,000+ words (excluding author's notes now) even after I've gotten slower and slower with the updates (not for lack of effort though, just life and the fact that the chapters keep getting longer).

Now, I'm feel like I've reached a milestone with this chapter. This story is now officially over 200 pages, and I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter I've written so far.

That's pretty much all I have to say so I'll leave you with Chapter 21. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Twenty One

" _Hermann," Gabby spoke to the man beside her as they both took their turnout coats and boots off now that they were back at 51. The ride back had been long. Matt hadn't just been clearly pissed, he hadn't said a word the entire time they were in the Truck. Instead he just silently stared out the window. At least that's what Gabby thought he was doing based on what she could see from her spot in the back of the rig. Hermann, Mouch, and Cruz seemed to take their cues from their lieutenant so the conversation had been minimal and unrelated to the job. For the most part, they had sat in awkward silence, and she couldn't quite tell what the rest of the company thought of the call, if they were also mad at her for not listening to Boden's orders, for potentially getting Otis injured, for almost getting both herself and Otis killed._

" _Yeah," Hermann replied._

" _Did you and Casey make it through the second floor?" she asked the question that had been on her mind from the moment she'd thought she'd heard someone, the question that had been haunting her since she'd left the building._

" _No," he told her. "We were just finishing up on the first floor when Boden called us out."_

" _So I could have heard someone," she surmised._

" _I don't know," Hermann admitted. "Let this one go though Dawson or it'll eat you up. And next time listen to the Chief. I know you were trying to do the right thing and help someone you thought was there, but—"_

" _Candidate," Matt's angry voice cut Hermann off as he approached the two of them, the look of fury she had seen at the fire still firmly planted on his face. "This isn't the time for socializing. The bathroom isn't going to clean itself."_

" _Yes Sir," Gabby replied. It wasn't what she had wanted to say however. She understood that while he hadn't come out and said it, this was her punishment for disobeying orders and that as the candidate, the grunt work was her job. She wouldn't object to cleaning the bathroom, but she wanted to explain what she had done and apologize both as a candidate and a fiancée. The relief on Matt's face when she emerged from the building earlier indicated that she had scared him. Still, the look of anger that was currently on Matt's face and his attitude since she'd first tried to talk to him after coming out of the building made clear that he wasn't in the mood for that conversation; she'd probably just wind up getting yelled at some more so she simply turned and walked into the firehouse to get the cleaning supplies._

* * *

 _As she scrubbed one of the shower stalls, Gabby tried to keep her mind off why she was doing this. In the half hour since she'd retreated to clean the bathroom, the only person she had seen was Capp. He'd come in to use the bathroom but hadn't said a word to her. That had worried her. Was everyone angry at her? Did they blame her for Shay and Brett needing to take Otis to the hospital? Okay that was her fault so she couldn't really blame them if they did, but still, what if it meant they didn't trust her anymore? Would she be able to stay on 81 or work as a firefighter at all? Matt had already threatened to fire her once. It was months ago, but was there a chance he would follow through now?_

" _So Otis is fine," Shay's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Just a minor burn. Turnout coat took more damage than he did. My guess is he needs a new one."_

" _Is he here or did he get the rest of shift off?" Gabby asked._

" _In the common room with the guys," Shay told her._

" _Thanks," Gabby replied as she threw the sponge into the bucket of water and got up, wanting to see Otis for herself. Shay followed her towards the common room._

" _Otis," Gabby called as she and Shay entered the common room to find him sitting at the table with Cruz, Hermann, and Casey while Mouch was in his usual spot on the couch. "Are you sure you're okay?"_

" _I'm fine," Otis simply stated._

" _I'm so sorry. I never meant for us to almost get trapped or you to get hurt," Gabby started rambling._

" _I know Dawson. It's –" Otis said before Matt cut him off._

" _What did I say earlier about socializing? Does this mean you've finished cleaning the bathroom?" he asked._

" _Not yet," Gabby replied._

" _Then get back to it," Matt ordered._

" _Yes Sir," Gabby hoped the fact that she was groaning inside wasn't obvious. What was so wrong about wanting to apologize to Otis and make sure he was okay? She'd apologize to Matt too if he would just let her. "When should I make dinner?"_

" _Don't bother. Just focus on the bathroom. We'll order in," Matt said. "Oh and Candidate once the bathroom's all clean, I'm not sure when someone last cleaned the locker room."_

" _Got it," Gabby said as she turned to head back to the bathroom, Shay sticking to her side._

" _Shay," Matt called after them. "Don't go with her. I told her to work not socialize."_

" _You know what Casey, last time I checked I wasn't a firefighter," Shay snapped. "And I'm pretty sure the Truck Lieutenant can't order the PIC around so if I want to keep my girl company, I'm going to keep her company."_

" _I can give orders to my candidate though," Casey argued._

" _Yes you can, and if you want to order her to ignore me, you can do that. Although unless you intend to hover over us, I'm not sure how you would make sure she does," Shay replied. "Besides as long as she gets the work done, why does it matter?"_

" _Just don't distract her," Matt seemed to give in as Shay ran to catch up to Gabby._

" _Lieutenant, don't you think you're being –," Gabby heard Hermann say as she opened the bathroom door. It closed behind her and Shay before she could hear the rest of what he was saying. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but it sounded like Hermann might be on her side. If that was true, then at least she hadn't lost the whole house._

" _Jeez, what's his problem?" Shay asked as Gabby reached down and grabbed the sponge out of the bucket so she could go back to scrubbing the shower stalls._

" _It's what happened on the call with my going back in and Otis getting hurt because of me," Gabby replied. "Hasn't said two words to me that weren't like that since Otis and I came out of the building. Actually, he's barely spoken to me period. I shouldn't have disobeyed orders, it's just, when I heard someone, how could I just leave them to burn to death?"_

" _You couldn't. You have too big of a heart. Casey knows that," Shay said. "You know he's lucky I stopped there. If we weren't at work, he'd have gotten a hell of a lot more for treating my best friend like that."_

" _It's his right. He's the lieutenant, and I'm the candidate. I get ordered around and have to do all the grunt work and when I screw up, it's his job to reprimand me," Gabby defended him. "We've seen it with Jones and Mills and Otis and every other candidate whose been at 51 while we have."_

" _Yeah but not like this," Shay protested. "He's treating you worse right now than he ever treated them. He was not this cold."_

" _I know," Gabby mumbled._

" _And I saw the look on his face when he heard you had gone back in and didn't want to come out until you'd found this person you thought you'd heard. You think he'd be grateful that you're okay," Shay continued as if Gabby hasn't spoken only pausing when she'd noticed the change in Gabby's demeanor. "Hey, what's wrong?"_

" _We've been doing so well. It's like all our problems were behind us," Gabby said quietly. "But this is how it all started last time. I disobeyed orders and screwed up on a call. He couldn't treat me the same way he would treat any other candidate who had done what I did – not in the same way as now obviously but still. He wouldn't talk about what had happened. Instead he just shut me out. I know I didn't handle it well and made things worse too. I'm not trying to say it was all Matt's fault. The thing is what if we haven't learned anything from all that? I don't want to end up there again."_

" _Then make sure you don't and make sure Casey knows you're worried about that," Shay told her._

" _It's not that simple," Gabby replied._

" _I know, but you're still going to therapy, right?" Shay pointed out._

" _Yeah, even though we've been back on track for months, when we started, we agreed that no matter what we'd keep going at least as long as I was on 81. Jessica thought that was a good idea too," Gabby replied._

" _Then if nothing else use that as an opportunity to talk all this out. I'm not saying you have to use your appointment to talk to Casey about everything, but you have that if you can't get anywhere before then," Shay said. "When's your next appointment?"_

" _Not til Thursday," Gabby told her. It was only Sunday. "I don't think I can wait that long to make sure we're okay, but I can't try to force Matt to talk to me either. That went so well last time."_

" _Let me know if you need me to kick his ass or at least pull his head out of it and remind him just how lucky he is," Shay tried to lighten the mood._

" _Thanks," Gabby said as she finished cleaning one shower stall and moved to the other, a smile forming on her face as she stepped inside._

" _What has you so happy all of sudden?" Shay couldn't help noticing the smile that seemed to form out of the blue._

" _Just remembering better times," Gabby said nonchalantly._

" _In a shower stall," a seemingly confused Shay responded. It was when Gabby started to blush, that the realization dawned on her. "Ooohhh…in the shower. Remind me to avoid that one."_

" _Shay, weren't you the one teasing me and Casey about my lingerie earlier," Gabby couldn't help but laugh._

" _With Casey I assume. Not Mills. If it has you smiling like that," Shay poked as if Gabby hadn't spoken. "Besides, I can't really picture you and Mills doing anything here. I don't think I ever even saw him kiss you at work. With Casey on the other hand, don't think I haven't noticed all the times he's had the door to his quarters closed and the blinds down and you've been nowhere to be found."_

" _God, they were such different relationships," Gabby said. "Don't get me wrong. My relationship with Mills was nice and sweet. At the time, I did think I loved him. It's just it never had anywhere near the passion and deep emotions that my relationship with Matt has. Never mind the connection. I realize I was a grown woman, but looking back it was almost like it was puppy love with Mills whereas with Matt it's this pure, true love that comes with finding your soulmate. That doesn't seem to do what Matt and I have justice though."_

" _So it was Casey," Shay continued to prod._

" _Of course it was. Other than that mess a few months ago, we've always had a healthy physical relationship, but when we first got together. It wasn't just the fact that the sex was absolutely incredible or the newness of the relationship, but I think the ability to release all those years of pent up longing and desire on both our parts," Gabby couldn't help taking the trip down memory lane. "We couldn't keep our hands off each other, and that first shift after we got together it didn't matter that we were at work or that we weren't ready to tell anyone about us yet, especially not when we were working together, we just needed each other and to show each other how happy we were to finally be together. I miss those days. Not so much the making love to Matt at work part. Although we haven't done that since I started my candidacy, and I do love making love to him no matter where we are. Or everything being new. There's something even more intimate about knowing someone physically and emotionally the way Matt and I know each other now. Things were just so much less complicated then. I don't regret becoming a firefighter, and I love being at 51, but I can't help but think, especially after a day like today, how nice it would be if Matt was just my fiancée."_

 _Before Shay could respond, the bells went off, calling Ambulance 61 to assist an elderly woman in distress._

" _I gotta go, but Dawson, look at it this way, in a few months, Casey will be just your fiancée again," Shay said. "You two are gonna get through these last months of this arrangement fine and then go ride off into the sunset together. Now I suggest you put that sponge down and go find lover boy to talk. Or at least bring him back here and recreate that memory."_

" _Thanks Shay, but I think both of those are probably best left for home," Gabby called after her._

* * *

 _Gabby sat staring out the window of Matt's truck as he pulled up to their apartment building. She wished they had driven separately yesterday if for no other reason than it would mean that she wasn't in this car right now. The rest of shift had been somewhat better in all but the most important way. Ambo had gotten a couple more calls during the evening and one at about 7:30 this morning while Squad had gotten one more call during dinner. Truck and Engine had spent the rest of shift at the house though, leaving Gabby plenty of time to finish the bathroom and locker room and then clean a couple of other areas that Matt decided needed a good scrubbing. Truth be told she had probably been a little too efficient for her own good, but she hadn't left Matt anything to complain about at least in regards to her cleaning. He hadn't taken it too well when she'd tried to talk to him as her lieutenant, continuing to treat her unusually coldly and throwing more chores on her. When she saw the rest of the guys at dinner, this morning, and while cleaning the kitchen, they at least treated her like they normally would have, seemingly understanding that she knew she'd screwed up and accepting her apology. She'd heard Hermann try to talk to Matt about how he was treating her a few more times only to get brushed off, making it clear to her that she and Matt needed to work whatever this was out before it started creating problems at the firehouse. Unfortunately, 61 hadn't made it back yet when shift ended, which sucked because she could have really used one more pep talk from Shay before heading home, especially since the ride itself, wound up feeling unusually long and awkward._

" _Want me to make breakfast?" Gabby asked as she and Matt made their way into the apartment._

" _Nah. I think I'm just gonna get some sleep before heading over the Baldwin's," Matt referenced the construction job he had lined up for that afternoon._

" _You sure?" Gabby couldn't help but worry that he was trying to avoid her. Given their lack of overnight calls, he should have been able to get a good night's sleep at the house. Sure, the bed in his office wasn't as comfortable as the one in their bedroom, but after all these years, he was used to it._

" _Yes, I'm sure Gabby," he sounded annoyed as he spoke._

" _Okay. I'm going to make breakfast though if you decide you want any," she called after him as he disappeared into their bedroom and closed the door behind him, surprising her. They normally left the door open even while they were sleeping or making love. After all, what was the point in closing it when they were the only two people in the apartment. The symbolism was too hard to ignore._

 _Gabby just stood there for a few minutes, staring at the closed the door. She was taken aback by the fact that he had actually shut it. Matt wasn't just shutting her out in regards to what happened at the call yesterday, but it was like was also shutting her out of his life. He was barely speaking to her. In fact, he didn't seem willing to speak to her unless he had to, and now, while she wasn't tired and hadn't been planning on going to bed after eating, he hadn't known that. His shutting the door behind him meant that he didn't want her sleeping next to him. He was kicking her out of her own bedroom._

 _Finally, she turned towards the kitchen, intent on making breakfast and finding some way to make things right with Matt. As she opened the fridge it occurred to her that while it wouldn't be enough on its own, maybe breakfast could be enough of a peace offering to be a start. She'd make Matt's favorite breakfast: over easy eggs and sausage. Looking through the fridge, she was disappointed to discover that they didn't have sausage. Still, she'd at least be able to make the eggs so she grabbed the carton and some butter from the fridge and then set them down on the counter next to the stove before getting a frying pan out and starting to cook enough eggs for two._

 _Once the eggs were done, she popped a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster. While the bread was toasting, she grabbed two plates, putting Matt's eggs on one of them and set it aside for whenever he emerged from the bedroom. As the bread popped out of the toaster, she grabbed it and then threw her own eggs onto the second plate._

 _Sitting at the kitchen table, she ate her breakfast, swirling her toast in the egg yolk as every few minutes she looked up at her bedroom door, hoping that it would open and Matt would join her. Only he never did. When he left for his construction job a few hours later, his eggs were still sitting on the counter._

* * *

 _For some reason, Gabby had been overwhelmed with a need to clean. Maybe it was just because after putting so much effort into cleaning the firehouse the day before, she felt that she should put effort into her own home. Or maybe she saw it as a way to send a message to Matt, to let him know that she was punishing herself just like he was or to show him that she was sorry for what had happened. Whatever the reason, she was dusting the coffee table when she heard a knock at the front door. Leaving her cleaning supplies on the table, she got up and headed towards the door. Opening it, she was surprised to see Chief Boden standing on the other side. She was pretty sure this was the first time he had ever stopped by the apartment._

" _Chief, what are you doing here?" she asked._

" _Dawson, can I come in?" he asked in return._

" _Of course," she said as she moved out of the way, allowing him to enter. "If you're looking for Casey, he's not home."_

" _I actually came to see you," Boden informed her. "Why don't we take a seat?"_

" _This way," Gabby guided him towards the living room. She couldn't help but feeling nervous. Why would Boden stop by to see her? Was this about what happened yesterday? Was she about to be fired? Maybe Matt couldn't bring himself to do be the one to do it so he asked the Chief to. Maybe that was why he was so intent on avoiding her this morning. When they reached the living room, she sat down on the couch while Boden took a seat a chair. Taking a deep breath, she spoke, hoping that she didn't sound as nervous as she felt. "What's this about?"_

" _I wanted to let you know that I just received word that they finished up at the apartment building from yesterday afternoon. They didn't find any bodies on the second floor or anywhere else in the building," Boden informed her._

" _So I didn't really hear anything. It was all in my head," Gabby replied. She wasn't sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, it was good that no one had been left behind and died. That would have been one of the worst possible outcomes. On the other hand, she could have gotten herself and Otis killed because of something she imagined. Matt was clearly so furious at her. She was scared that this was going to start tearing them apart again. She may have just blown up her relationship with the love of her life for no reason._

" _You may have heard something, but it wasn't a person. It could have been the fire or a TV that had been left on or something else," Boden's words caused Gabby to nod. "Look Dawson, something like that is why you need to listen when you're given an order. I get the fact that when you were my PIC you were the one in charge of the medical situation and as a paramedic that you were experienced and knew exactly what you were doing. You've been a firefighter for less than a year though, and when you're in a fire, things are a lot more grey."_

" _Being a paramedic isn't simple. Medical situations are not black and white," Gabby interjected._

" _I'm not trying to say they are," Boden replied. "But when you were a paramedic, the patient was always in front of you. You could see that something was wrong, and even if you didn't know exactly what the problem was, you had the knowledge and the ability to take what was in front of you and figure out what needed to be done for the patient. In a fire, you don't generally know who, if anyone, is there or what the situation is, and you don't yet have the experience to try to figure it out. As a candidate, when you're on a call, you're not just there to rescue people, you're there to learn from the more experienced firefighters around you. When I order you out of a building, you need to understand that I'm making that decision based on all my years of experience from when I was in your shoes to Otis's shoes to Casey's shoes to the shoes I wear now as a battalion chief. I'm not giving those orders just because. There's a reason for them. You are welcome to respectfully make your concerns with those orders known, but in the end, part of your job is to follow them. Dawson, you were a great paramedic, and you have the potential to be a great firefighter, everyone sees that, but you need to understand that you're starting from the beginning again and that some of what made you such a great PIC is going to work against you as a firefighter."_

" _I'll try," Gabby said. She knew Boden had stuck his neck out by letting her do her candidacy on 81. She didn't want to let him down, and she certainly didn't want to keep hurting her relationship with Matt._

" _That's all I can ask," Boden said. "You and Casey have a lovely home."_

" _Thanks Chief," Gabby replied. "Is there anything I can get you?"_

" _I should be getting home. Terrence was fussing a little earlier. Don't want to leave Donna to deal with him by herself for too long," Boden started to get up._

" _I hope everything is okay. Let me at least walk you out," Gabby got up as well._

* * *

 _It was nearly ten o'clock as Gabby stood in the kitchen, staring at the butternut squash soup that had long since gone cold. When her stomach growled, she decided to heat some up and finally eat dinner. Waiting for Matt to come home clearly wasn't getting her anywhere, and she was beginning to wonder if he even intended to come home tonight. He should have finished up with his construction job hours ago._

 _As she took a bowl of soup out of the microwave and began eating, she couldn't help but think about how this was not how she intended dinner to go. She had made the butternut squash soup, even though it was totally out of season, for Matt because she knew how much he liked it and as a reminder of where they started. She had been hoping that he would appreciate the gesture and that they would eat together and actually talk things out. Instead he was who knows where, and she was eating alone. When she was about halfway through her soup, she heard the back door open. Turning her head, she saw Matt walk in._

" _You're eating late," he observed._

" _Well, I had been trying to wait for you," she replied a little bitterly._

" _Why?" Matt asked, clearly confused._

" _Because I thought it would be nice to have dinner with my fiancée. I know you're mad at me, and I thought –" Gabby started to explain before Matt cut her off._

" _Yeah but didn't you get my text?" he asked._

" _What text?" she replied._

" _The one where I said that Severide asked me to meet him for pizza and beer, and I'd be home late," Matt explained._

" _You never texted me," Gabby wasn't going to admit it, but she had been checking her phone constantly all day for some word from him, some sign that his anger had lessened, that this was just going to be some minor bump in the road and they would be fine. Her phone was sitting on the counter next to her bowl so she grabbed it, and scrolled through the messaging app until she found Matt's name. Tapping it, she turned her phone towards him, showing him that the last text she had from him was from a couple days earlier._

 _Matt responded by pulling his own phone out of his pocket and scrolling through it. After a few seconds, he turned it towards her, allowing her to see the message on the screen, her name in the to section, and the send button in the corner._

" _Meeting Severide for dinner. Not sure when I'll be home. No need to wait up," it read._

 _Reading the text, Gabby wasn't sure what to think. On the one hand, he hadn't intended to worry her, and if Severide had reached out to Matt wanting to hang out, it wouldn't be unusual for him to say yes. The fact that he'd seemingly done so tonight might not mean anything. On the other hand, after the past day and a half, she couldn't help being hurt by the fact that he had told her not to wait up, and how did she know he hadn't gone out with Severide in order to avoid her. Last time her screwing up at work had started to come between them, he'd done just that. And he hadn't hugged or kissed her when he'd come in. He normally did at least one of those when he came home after working a construction job all day even if it was just a quick peck on the cheek._

" _Guess I forgot to actually hit send," Matt said sheepishly, pulling her from her thoughts and worries. "Sorry. Didn't mean to leave you waiting for me to get home."_

 _Gabby just nodded as she tried to figure out what to say. They needed to talk. She knew that. She wasn't sure if Matt did or if he was still pissed. More importantly she wasn't sure how to start that conversation._

" _Would you mind putting the soup in the fridge?" she asked. Hopefully, the request would buy her some time._

" _Sure," Matt said as he headed towards the stove, grabbing a container out of a cabinet as he passed it. He poured the soup into the container and then quickly washed the pot. Once the soup was in the fridge, he turned back towards her and spoke again. "I think I'm gonna head to bed."_

" _You're tired?" Gabby sputtered as she saw her chance to talk about everything slipping away. She was surprised too. Maybe he was trying to avoid her. "You slept all morning."_

" _And I told the Briggs' I'd be there at 6:30 tomorrow so they could show me what they need done before leaving for work," he pointed out._

" _Should I sleep in the guest room?" she knew she wasn't handling this the right way, but she couldn't help herself._

" _Huh? Are you not feeling well?" Matt didn't seem to understand what she was getting at._

" _I feel fine," that wasn't true. She felt upset not fine, but she wasn't going to admit that right now._

" _So why do you want to sleep in the guestroom?" he asked._

" _I'm trying to figure out if you want me to sleep in the guest room," Gabby explained, prompting Matt to look at her as if she had two heads. "I mean you made it pretty clear this morning that you didn't want me sharing the bed."_

" _What? Why would you think that?" Matt clearly wasn't expecting that response._

" _You shut the door when you went to bed this morning. That door is never shut," she told him. "Besides there was really no reason for you to be tired. We didn't get any calls last night. You should have been able to get a good's night sleep. Were you actually tired or were you just trying to avoid me?"_

" _Hey, come here," Matt responded as he reached for her. "We should talk."_

 _Gabby simply nodded and got up. The two of them made their way into the living room. Once they were both seating on the couch, Matt took her hands in his before speaking again._

" _Gabby, I was not trying to avoid you. I'm not sure where you would even get that idea," he said before Gabby interjected._

" _Matt, I –" she started to say but Matt was determined to finish._

" _I shut the door because I needed to try to get some sleep, and from what you had said when we got home, I figured you were going to be cooking not going to bed. Our bedroom's right by the kitchen. I wanted to try to block out any noise and the smell of food. And just because we were at the house all night, doesn't mean I got a good night's sleep. I didn't sleep well at all actually. I fell asleep easily enough, but I woke up a couple hours later after having what has to be the worst nightmare I've ever had. We were back at that call from yesterday afternoon, and you were sure you'd heard someone and were refusing to leave until you found them just like what actually happened. Only in my nightmare you weren't able to get out in time," Matt's voice got shakier and shakier the more he spoke. She could tell just how much this had rattled him. "It felt so real Gabby, maybe the most real dream I've ever had, and for a few minutes after I woke up, I wasn't sure it wasn't real. I wasn't sure if you were alive. It was when I finally got my bearings enough to realize that I was in my quarters that I knew it was just a dream. If you had actually just died, there's no way I'd still be on shift in the first place._

" _You probably didn't realize this but I spent maybe half the night sitting on the floor next to your bunk, watching you sleep. I needed to see you, to see that you were alive and okay. I'm not sure how long I was actually there, but I'm pretty sure it was hours. Severide got up at one point and found me sitting there. He convinced me to get up, and we wound up talking for a while before going back to bed. I never managed to fall back asleep though. I couldn't get that damn nightmare out of my head. It may have been a slow shift, but after that, I was exhausted by the time we got home. I had to try to sleep."_

" _Were you able to?" Gabby asked._

" _A little. It wasn't very restful, but at least it wasn't just me lying there in the dark, reminding myself that it had only been a dream," he told her. "After that, there is no way I would have been trying to avoid you."_

" _I'm sorry," Gabby replied. Hearing his explanation, she felt a little foolish for jumping to the possibility that he had been trying to avoid her. At least it had got them talking though. They needed to have this conversation. "It's just when we were at work, you seemed so mad and were being so harsh. I didn't know what to think."_

" _Gabby, I love you, but part of my job is to make sure you know when you screw up and to reprimand you for it. To remind you that at the firehouse you're simply the candidate so that you learn something. You know that," he tried to argue. "I didn't treat you any differently than I would have any other candidate in that situation."_

" _That's what I tried telling Shay, but she was right when she said that wasn't really true," she countered. "You didn't actually talk to me about what happened. You just kept being cold and insisting I do chores."_

" _Boden had already chewed you out, and I knew that you knew not just that you had done something wrong but what exactly it was too," he said._

" _And I know you. Had Otis been the one insisting we stay in there to try find someone he thought he'd heard, the Chief having already done it wouldn't have stopped you from reaming him out and not just because I was the one in there with him," Gabby pointed out. "You didn't treat me the way I've seen you treat every other candidate when they went too far. You were harsher with me yesterday and this morning than you would have been on anyone else, and I'm not the only one who noticed. Sounded like Hermann did too."_

 _Matt sighed as if he wanted to say something but Gabby continued._

" _I think I get it though. I didn't realize how much you were affected by everything yesterday. I thought you were just furious with me for not listening and because Otis got hurt and that the fact that it was me made it worse."_

" _Of course I was angry. How could I not be?" Matt asked the rhetorical question. "We've talked about how you need to listen to your superiors because they know more than you. We've talked about it at work, at home, in therapy. You've heard that I don't even know how many times, and it doesn't seem to stick. Once again you just did what you wanted to. No matter who I'm being, I'm not going to be happy with that. Was part of the anger personal? I tried not let it impact how I acted, but how could it not? Once Hermann and I made it out, I could see why Boden ordered us out, how bad it was. I knew that any second things were going to start coming down, and you weren't listening to anyone. You were refusing to leave. Between your attitude and the state of the building, I was absolutely terrified. I didn't think you were going to wind up getting out of there in time. I've told you that I can't lose you. That if something happens to you on shift it's going to destroy me, and it was like none of that mattered to you. You're the one who insisted that we needed to go to therapy, but when what I said in there should have impacted what you did, you ignored it. What was even the point?"_

" _I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, and I would never intentionally do something that could destroy you. You have to know that," Gabby insisted. "When I was so sure I heard someone, I didn't stop to think about what the consequences of looking for them could be. It never crossed my mind that I could get myself and Otis killed so I didn't have any reason to factor how you'd feel about it into what I did. If I had, I wouldn't have just ignored it. I promise. All I could think about though was how sure I was that someone was there, and that if I just left, then I'd be leaving them to die. I never would have intentionally put you through what I did. I know the fact that it was all for nothing probably makes it worse, and I'm sorry."_

" _What do you mean it was for nothing?" Matt asked._

" _Chief stopped by earlier. They didn't find any bodies near where I thought I heard someone," Gabby explained. "That should be a good thing, but I just keep thinking that I put you through all that, Otis got hurt, and we could have wound up going down the same road that almost destroyed us months ago again simply because I was convinced something was there that wasn't."_

" _We were never going to go down that path again. I wouldn't have let us," Matt told her. "You need to let this go Gabby. It's not going to be good for you or anyone else on 81 if you don't. Let's make a deal. We both stop beating you up over this, and if it looks like one of us is still doing that or starts again, the other will make sure they stop."_

" _Deal," Gabby nodded._

" _We good?" Matt asked. Gabby responded by leaning in and brushing her lips softly against his until Matt responded, and the kiss got more intense._

" _We good," she said slightly breathlessly as she pulled away._

 _Matt started to smile in response but it quickly turned into a yawn._

" _I really should get to bed," he said. "I'd love the company though."_

" _Of course," Gabby replied. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that it was nearly midnight. Even if Matt hadn't asked her, she probably would have been heading to bed soon._

 _Matt pulled her off the couch as he got up, and they headed hand in hand towards their bedroom. Once inside, Matt quickly stripped down to his boxers and got into the bed. Gabby felt his eyes on her though as she sorted through one of his drawers, trying to decide what to wear to bed. She ultimately settled on one of his t-shirts. She stripped down to her panties before pulling the t-shirt over her head. A blush formed on her cheeks when she caught him watching her as she changed, making him smirk._

" _Hey Matt," she said as she joined him in bed. "There's definitely a point to therapy. I don't think we would have had that conversation without it."_

* * *

"Everything go okay with Boden?" Antonio asked as Matt took Gabby's hand in his and sat down in his chair. Matt just gave his almost brother-in-law a confused look, prompting Antonio to explain. "Your sister said that your boss was here to discuss what was going on with you and Gabby."

"Do you have to go back to work?" Camila asked. She and the rest of her family had assumed that the conversation had been about how much time off Matt had taken. He had never told them that the rest of the CFD knew about his and Gabby's relationship.

"Boden didn't stop by," Matt said, hoping that would be the end of it. He didn't want to have to admit to Ramon and Camila that their daughter might wake up to find her career in danger and that she was at least going to be facing some sort of disciplinary action.

"Then who did?" Ramon asked.

"Someone from headquarters needed to talk to me about something," Matt tried to dodge.

"What's going on Casey?" Antonio knew Matt well enough to know that the man was trying to hide something.

Realizing he wasn't going to get away with continuing to keep the investigation from them, Matt sighed in frustration before speaking.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want to give you something else to worry about," he began. "But a few weeks ago the CFD found out that Gabby and I were together when she started working under me and that I and everyone else have been lying about why I haven't been at work. They opened an investigation into Gabby and me and everyone else we work with. Someone stopped by to let me know what they were going to do to discipline me. I don't know what they're going to do to Gabby. I don't think they do either. At least they told me that they'd figure it out once she's ready to return to work. I tried to do as much as I could to protect her, to take as much of the heat for this as I could so that it doesn't wind up on her. I don't know how much good it did though. They didn't seem to agree with me when I said I should get all the blame."

"I never understood why you felt you had to lie," Camila said, the tone in her voice indicating that she had never really approved.

"They never would have let her work under me if they knew we were together, and then who knows how long it would have been before she was assigned to a truck company. She wanted it so badly, and after everything that had happened with Shay and then losing her original spot, all I wanted most was to make her happy. It seemed like the best option at the time," Matt explained. "And then after the accident, I couldn't tell the department that I was taking time off to be at Gabby's side. They'd start to figure out that there was more between us than a working relationship or even friendship. It's not like everyone else took even a shift off. Once they figured it out, Gabby, Boden, and I were going to be in trouble. I was trying to protect us, especially Gabby. I didn't want her to have to deal with the fallout. It was the last thing she needed. Now she's going to have to deal with it anyways."

Looking down, he turned his attention towards Gabby before continuing.

"I'm sorry babe," he apologized. "I'm not going to give up though. I'll do whatever I can to protect you. I hope you know that."

"I'm sure she does," Camila couldn't help trying to reassure him. She was pretty sure her daughter wouldn't want the man she loved to put so much blame on himself.

"If you knew what you know now, would you have done it?" Ramon asked.

Instead of responding, Matt stared at the man. He knew that Ramon was referring to the decision to have Gabby work under him, not to the coverup that had happened after the accident. He had never really thought about that decision once it had been made, but now he found himself doing just that. The truth was that had Boden not offered to look the other way and accept her on 81, he never would have suggested it. Not just because he would have been sure that Boden would say no and be mad that he had even asked about it or because he thought he and Gabby couldn't handle it. Up until the moment she'd walked out the door, bag in hand, he'd truly believed they'd get through it okay. Maybe that had been part of the problem. Maybe his faith in their ability to not be affected by their working relationship blinded him to the fact that it was affecting them. Regardless the reasons he wouldn't have suggested it were selfish ones. He didn't want to hide how much he loved her; he wanted to shout it from the rooftops, and after the past few years with suddenly and unexpectedly losing Andy and then Hallie and then Shay, he knew that life was short. Tomorrow wasn't guaranteed, especially in their line of work, and so he didn't want to take a moment with Gabby for granted. That's what they had done though by putting off the wedding.

Did he regret it though? Gabby had been a wreck after Shay's death. As much as she'd tried to hide it from him, he'd seen it. On the surface, she'd handled it better than Severide, but he knew her too well to buy it. He'd tried to be there for her as much as he could, but he knew that being at 51 with the guys was one of the things she was holding onto, one of the things that was helping her. She hadn't agreed to stay and delay the start of her candidacy for Boden's benefit as much as she had her own. Forcing Gabby to do her candidacy elsewhere would have meant taking that lifeline away from her. What's more had she left 51, there's no way of knowing what type of officer she would have served under. While she wouldn't have been working for Welch and he knew there were plenty of officers in the CFD who would have treated her right, the only way he could ensure she had a good lieutenant was to accept her on 81. Not because he loved her, but because he always did his best to respect everyone under his command and train them well. And then there were the selfish reasons. As long as she was on 81, he could do whatever was necessary to protect her, and it was comforting to know exactly where she was and what sort of danger she was in on every call. Had she been at another house on another Truck, he wouldn't know what was going on.

So no he didn't regret that decision itself. It was everything that came after that he regretted. Not seeing beyond his anger to realize that it was tearing them apart. Not being willing to talk to her and put her needs before his. Those are the things that he would change if he could back. Before he could say anything though, the door opened and an unexpected voice joined the conversation.

"Whose sick of cafeteria food?" Severide asked as he entered the room.

"I'm not going anywhere," Matt said without turning his head. He assumed that his friend was going to try to get at least him to leave and eat elsewhere.

"I'm not asking you to," Severide replied as he held up the brown bag in his right hand, hoping it would catch Casey's attention. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't starting to worry about his fellow lieutenant's refusal to leave the hospital, even if he understood why the man was so attached to it, but he wasn't going to pick that battle. Not yet anyways. "I brought Chinese. Figured you guys could probably go for something other than the fine cuisine this place has to offer."

"That was very thoughtful of you," Camila commented. "I'll help you set it up."

With those words Camila got up and helped Severide lay out the food on the counter along the right wall. Once the food was up, the rest of them got up and started grabbing their food, grateful for the change in cuisine.

Observing the food spread, Matt wasn't really surprised to find that it was all beef and pork. Severide seemed to always go for meat. And he'd seemingly bought enough to feed a small army. There were spare ribs, pot stickers, moo shi pork, Mongolian beef, Szechuan style beef, Kung Pao Beef, and what looked like pork fried rice. The fact that Gabby's favorite wasn't there though was like a kick in the gut. Not that he would have expected his friend to make note of Gabby's favorite foods or account for her tastes when she wouldn't be eating with them, but the lack of the sesame chicken that she always insisted on ordering was just a painful reminder of the present circumstances. Even after she moved out, whenever they would have Chinese takeout, he'd order it. After his time with Gabby, it just felt weird not to have it.

The five of them ate in silence and then engaged in small talk for about half an hour until Antonio sensed that Severide was waiting to talk to Matt in private.

"I think I'm ready to call it a night. You guys mind heading home?" he addressed his parents. Having brought them to the hospital that morning, he couldn't leave without them.

"I suppose," Camila replied. Truth was she was never ready to leave. It was her little girl in that hospital bed, and the only thing harder than being here was leaving, but she didn't think following Matt's lead and moving into her daughter's hospital room was a good idea.

Ramon simply nodded. The three Dawson's said their goodbyes, and after one last longing look at Gabby left the room.

"How you really holding up man?" Severide asked about a minute after the door had closed.

"This has been my life for the past seven weeks," Matt pointed out. "Gabby's going to wake up though, and when she does, I'll be fine. It'll be worth the wait. Until then well, I still have most of what really matters. Gabby's life and my love for her. It's not enough, but for now it has to be. Hopefully, I still have her love, and if I do, once she's awake, that'll be enough."

"What about your job?" Severide shifted the conversation towards what he had really wanted to talk about. "I know you said before that you don't really care what the CFD does to you, but now you've had time to think about it. I get that Dawson's your main concern at this point, but when this is over," he motioned towards Gabby and her hospital bed. "Are you really going to be happy if you lose your job or even your bugle?"

"My job's not in danger," Matt replied. Before he could elaborate though the door opened, revealing Chief Boden.

"Sorry I'm late," the Chief said as he entered the room and took the seat next to Severide and diagonally across from Matt. "Donna was having a hard time getting Terrence down. He's fussing."

"It's okay Chief. You missed Dawson's family though," Severide replied.

"What's going on?" Matt was confused. It sounded like the Chief and Severide had planned to visit him together. He just didn't understand why, but he hoped Camila's words form earlier hadn't been foreshadowing. Boden and Severide should both have known better than to try to force him back to work. Not that he'd be able to return to work until his suspension was up anyways.

"The department's finished its investigation," the Chief began.

"I know. Chief Tiberg came to see me earlier. Don't see why he couldn't have just called though," Matt was still annoyed about having to go downstairs to meet with the man.

"I thought he might come by today, that's why –," Boden started to say but this time Severide interrupted him.

"So that's what you meant when you said your job wasn't in danger," a smile started to form on the Squad lieutenant's face. "Tiberg didn't take your badge or your bugle."

"He didn't," Matt simply said as he squeezed Gabby's hand, hoping that the CFD wouldn't be too hard on her.

"As I was saying, I asked Severide to meet me here tonight because when I spoke to Chief Tiberg this morning, it sounded like he would be coming here today," Boden finally managed to get a word in. "He wouldn't tell me much about what had been decided. Said that other than that I wasn't losing anyone from my house and most of men weren't being disciplined, everything could wait until I returned from my suspension."

"You were suspended?" Matt couldn't help but feel bad for the situation he and Gabby had put their Chief and friend in.

"Yeah, but don't feel bad. I knew what I was doing when I offered to accept Dawson on 81 and when I suggested we come up with another reason for you to be off shift," Boden understood what Matt was thinking.

"But Tiberg told me that the CFD didn't have any rules about lying about our personal lives," Matt said.

"For you your relationship with Dawson is personal, but for me, what goes on with the people under my command and how it effects their ability to their jobs is not. It's all part of my job as battalion chief. As far as the CFD is concerned, I knew I was opening the door to a potentially problematic situation and did it anyways," Boden explained. "And it's not just that, it's the example I set. That the rules, whether or official or unofficial, don't really matter and it's okay to do whatever you want. That lying and cover ups are okay in my house. I'm the battalion chief. When it comes to what happens at 51, the buck stops with me."

"I'm sorry Chief. I know Gabby is too," Matt said. "We never wanted anyone to get in trouble."

"How long did you get?" Severide asked. It's not that he had been expecting Boden back next shift or anything. He knew the man had been contemplating retirement after all, but the idea of having to spend significantly more time with Chief Pridgen was far from appealing.

"A month unpaid and a formal reprimand. I'll be back after the suspension though," Boden informed them.

"So no retirement then?" Severide observed.

"No. Donna wasn't too thrilled with the idea," Boden admitted. "She tried to pass it off as saying she didn't think I'd be happy off the job, but apparently I've been hovering, and it's driving her crazy."

"Women," Severide shook his head.

"Hey, I'd give anything for Gabby to tell me I was driving her crazy," Matt told Severide before leaning down to place a kiss on Gabby's forehead and addressing her. "Not that I want to annoy you babe. It's just if I was that would mean you were awake, and I want that more than anything."

"If how you've been acting since Dawson's accident is any indication of how you're going to act when she's awake, I'm sure you'll be hearing that a lot," Severide said.

"You've just never been truly in love," Matt defended himself. "If this was Donna, you'd be doing the same thing Chief, wouldn't you?"

"So a month, huh?" Severide quickly changed the subject before he could get ganged up on. "I think I speak for the whole house when I say it can't go by fast enough. I don't think any of us can take too much more of Chief Pridgen. I certainly can't."

'You won't have to. I'm not sure why, but Pridgen won't be back at 51," Boden replied. "You'll be getting a new interim Chief tomorrow. Don't know who it is though."

"Well, he can't be any worse," Severide muttered. "When they called me down to headquarters this afternoon, Tiberg said that regarding the call I was being investigated for, several people outside 51, including the building manager who got hurt, told them that they heard Pridgen ordering me to take Squad to go check on the neighbor who hurt his ankle. I'm cleared of the whole thing, but I doubt the department was happy with him for trying to place the blame on me. No matter how many friends he has in high places. Kind of ironic. He started the whole mess you two are in by making sure everyone knew we were all lying about stuff when he was doing the exact same thing."

"They didn't do anything to you, then?" Matt asked.

"No. I didn't do anything wrong at that call so there was so reason to discipline me over it. As for everything with you and Dawson, they clearly weren't happy about it and are disappointed that no one blew the whistle on the whole thing, but I think they saw it as us just following orders," Severide informed him.

"I got the impression that when it came to Casey and Dawson's relationship and Casey being here, it was just the two of us and maybe Dawson who would be disciplined," Boden said. "They see us as having put everyone else in a bad situation. Firefighters are trained to listen their chiefs and captains and lieutenants, and that's what everyone else was doing here."

"Do you have any idea what they're going to do to Gabby?" Matt couldn't help but ask. He needed to know that he hadn't destroyed her career. "They told me that they wouldn't make a decision on her until after they knew she was going to be okay, but she's going to be okay, and how do I know they're not just trying to keep it from me? They wouldn't fire her over this, would they?"

"They didn't tell me, but no I don't think they'd fire her," Boden answered. "I can't imagine she'd be in more trouble than we are. A year ago, when she first asked me about possibly doing her candidacy on Truck 81, she didn't seem to realize that it wouldn't be allowed with two of you dating. You know I remember after I told her it wasn't an option, she tried to find a precedent for someone working under their boyfriend. When I told her the example she gave didn't work out the way she thought it did, she was disappointed but she got it or at least she got that I wasn't about to let it happen."

"51 has always been a second home to her. Well, back then it was more like a third home. My place was her second home," Matt explained where he knew Gabby had been coming from. "She never really wanted to leave. She would have done it to become a firefighter if she had to. She wanted that so badly, but I think she saw that fact that she was going to have to leave as the one downside to the whole thing. The idea of not working with Shay and the rest of you was not something she was looking forward to."

"As concerned as I was about the two of you working together, I was glad to still have her around. I know everyone was," Boden said. "Anyways, the point I was trying to make was that she didn't know that working under you was a problem. I was the one who told her that, and then I was the one who said it would be okay, and she certainly wasn't involved with lying about why you've been off shift or even knew about it."

"Aside from being the reason," Severide cut in.

"You and I were far more in the wrong about this whole thing than Dawson was. The department must know that," Boden continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.

"You haven't told us what they did to you," Severide pointed out after looking at his watch. It was getting late, and since he hadn't been suspended, he did have to be at work in the morning. Still, he wasn't about to leave without getting the information he had come for, how much trouble Casey had been in.

"Two weeks suspension without pay, formal reprimand, and probation," Matt emotionlessly listed almost everything off. He left out the part about random visits to see how Truck 81 was performing under his leadership, understanding, even though it hadn't been explicitly said, that he and probably Boden were the only people at 51 who were allowed to know about that. "All in all, I can't complain. I was expecting a lot worse. I think that's why I'm so nervous about what they're going to do to Gabby."

"I was too. I need to head out though," Severide said as he started to get up. Before leaving though, he turned his attention to Gabby. "Wake up soon Dawson. This one needs you."

With that Severide walked out of the room, leaving Chief Boden to tell Matt and Gabby's unconscious form stories about Terrence. Listening to the Chief, Matt couldn't help but think about the day in the future when it would be him and Gabby sharing stories about their own four month old child. That day was still coming. He knew it with every fiber of his being, and when Boden left, he was going to tell Gabby every detail of what he was imagining. Maybe, just maybe, that was what would finally help her.

* * *

Author's Note: So I have no idea what CFD policy actually is or how they would actually handle a situation like this. I tried looking it up online months ago but got nowhere. Considering that Cruz got a 60 day suspension for what was essentially an off duty bar fight, I suspect at least Casey and Boden would be facing a steeper punishment than what I gave them, but I decided I wanted to go this route long before that episode aired. And you know what? It's my story and my world so I guess that gives me the right to do what I want here.

Anyways, thanks again for reading and please review.


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Note: As always thank you for all the reviews, especially a big thank you to the guest who said such nice things about NuGirl, ItsWhatIWrite, Ducky, and myself. It really meant a lot to me at least. Also a big shout out to coconut and NuGirl for always leaving such wonderful reviews. It's always nice to know what you two liked about each chapter. And lastly on the thank you front, since it's a one shot and there isn't another chapter to say it in there, thank you to everyone who read and reviewed Happy, Together, Holding Each Other.

Speaking of Happy, Together, Holding Each Other, I want to apologize for the delay spending my summer writing that caused in getting this story updated. While I don't want to make any promises, I hope to never take three and a half months to update again.

Now without further adieu here's the next chapter of Worth Fighting For. Hope you enjoy it, and please drop me a review with your thoughts when your done.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Two

It was nearly 11 AM when Matt was caught off guard by the sight of Dr. Sanders and a nurse entering Gabby's room. After eight weeks, he knew the hospital schedule by heart. It was too late for morning rounds and too early for afternoon rounds. Gabby wasn't due for any testing or scans. Her biweekly testing had occurred yesterday so it would be a couple more days before that happened again. He may not have the medical knowledge his girl did let alone a doctor, but from what he could tell, nothing with Gabby or the machines looked any different than it had for nearly two months. As far as he knew, there was no reason for them to be here. Unless, a terrifying thought crossed his mind, they had seen something that concerned them in yesterday's scans and were here to follow up. He tried to push the thought out of his mind but knew he wouldn't be able to relax until he knew they weren't here because something was wrong. Relax wasn't really the right word. He hadn't been relaxed in eight weeks and doubted he would be until this nightmare was over.

"How are all of you this morning?" Dr. Sanders asked.

"How's Gabby?" Matt asked in return, his voice laced with worry.

"She's the same," the doctor answered. "Yesterday's tests show that she hasn't fallen any deeper into the coma, but she also isn't showing any sign of starting to come out of it. Physically she's doing as well as we could have hoped for. The cuts and electric burns, as you can see, have mostly healed even though they've left behind scarring. The pacemaker is doing a good job regulating her heart beat. Her ribs have mostly healed. Although if she woke up now, I'm sure she'd feel some discomfort around her rib cage when she moved or breathed. The physical side is why I'm here. After eight weeks, casts have usually done their job so Brenda and I are going to take Gabby down for some X-Rays, and if everything looks good, we'll bring her back without the casts on her left arm and leg."

"If physically she's fine, why is she still in the coma? From everything you've said and what I've read, I thought the coma may have been her body's way of healing itself, but it seems like her body has mostly done that. Are you sure there's no brain damage or anything?" Antonio asked.

"I'm as sure as I can be that there's no brain damage. Given the circumstances, her EEG continues to be fine," Dr. Sanders replied. "Look there's a lot we don't yet understand about the brain and comas. I wish I had answers for you, but I don't. The truth is there's no way for us to know why she's in the coma or how long it'll last. When a coma patient wakes up is unpredictable. I like to think they wake up when they're ready to. But waking up is never a guarantee. Most comas don't last longer than four weeks. It's been twice that long, and as much as I hate to say it, the longer the coma lasts, the less likely it is that the patient wakes up."

"If that's your attitude, if you don't think there's hope, then maybe what Gabby needs is a new doctor," Matt looked at the doctor with venom in his eyes. Gabby was going to wake up. He didn't have the patience to deal with anyone who believed otherwise.

"Matt," Camila, who was seated next to him, reached out and put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. She didn't think fighting was going to do any good.

"I'm not saying that she's not going to wake up or that you shouldn't have hope. I don't give up on my patients Mr. Casey," Dr. Sanders said. "I think it's admirable how devoted the four of you are to her. All the time you've spent at her side. In many ways she's a lucky woman. To still be alive. To have you. It's obvious you love her very much. I would never tell someone to not have hope or necessarily even to have hope. I'm just trying to explain that I don't have the answers you're looking for, no one does, and give you a realistic understanding of where things stand."

"You said it yourself. Gabby's lucky to be alive. There's no way she survived an accident that should have killed her just to spend the rest of her life in a coma. I need to know you believe that," Matt demanded.

"Why don't we go get some lunch and let them take Gabriela for her x-rays," Camila suggested in an attempt to keep the situation from escalating further. She knew Matt wasn't so much angry at the doctor as he was at the whole situation. The doctor just made an easy target. After nearly two months tensions were running high and her almost son-in-law's world revolved around the possibility that each new day would be the day her daughter woke up. The situation had been unbelievably hard on all of them, but Matt seemed to be struggling more than the rest of them. It was like Gabriela waking up was all he had to live for. Her daughter was her first concern, but she was still extremely worried about the young man. She couldn't do anything to help Gabriela, but maybe she could find a way to help the man her daughter loved.

"Sounds like a good idea," Ramon finally spoke.

"I'm not hungry. Can I go with Gabby?" Matt asked, not wanting to be away from her and wanting to know exactly what was happening.

"You know Gabriela would want you to take care of yourself. Eating is part of that," Camila said in a harsher tone than she meant to.

"Then can you pick me something up? I don't really care what, and I'll pay you back," Matt suggested.

"Only hospital staff is going to be allowed into Radiology," Brenda, the nurse, piped in.

"Then its settled. You'll come with us," Camila said. "Now let's go. The sooner we leave, the sooner they can take those x-rays"

Camila, Ramon, and Antonio started to head out of the room, but Matt didn't make a move to get out of his chair. Instead he turned his attention back towards Gabby, bringing her hand, which he hadn't let go of while arguing with Dr. Sanders, to his lips so he could kiss it before speaking.

"I'm sorry for leaving, but I'll be back as soon as I can. I wish I could go with you, but maybe you heard what the nurse said about my not being allowed down there. They're just going to take you for some x-rays and hopefully get those casts off of you. Then you won't have to deal with how itchy and uncomfortable they are when you wake up," Matt leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I love you," he added softly as his lips hovered less than an inch above hers. With that he finally got up so that they could take her.

"I know it's not her waking up, not even close, but this is a good thing, right?" Ramon asked as they made their way down the familiar route to the cafeteria.

"It is," Camila agreed.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Once they arrived in the cafeteria, they split up, everyone going their separate ways in search of what they wanted to eat.

Matt tried to hang back. His comment form earlier about not being hungry wasn't just an excuse to go with Gabby to Radiology. Just like every other day during the past eight weeks, he found he didn't really care if he ate or not. Logically, he knew he was starving his body and that wasn't healthy. The knowledge didn't change the fact that he barely had an appetite though. Maybe without Gabby his heart just didn't have a reason to care.

When Camila gave him a stern look though, he decided that harmony with Gabby's family was dependent on getting food. He let out a sigh and headed towards the serving stations. Noticing that the special at the grill station was a chicken parmesan sandwich, he let out a small smile as he quickly decided that was what he would get. Chicken parmesan was one of Gabby's favorite meals. Maybe, hopefully, that was a sign. He headed towards the grille station, getting in line right behind Ramon. After 5 minutes in line, Ramon ordered a bacon cheeseburger and onion rings, stepping aside to wait for his food, allowing Matt to approach the counter.

"Two chicken parmesan sandwiches," he ordered.

"Someone's hungry," the man behind the counter, Mario according to his nametag, incorrectly surmised.

"The second one's for my fiancée. Can I actually get that one to go?" under normal circumstances the whole thing would have sounded crazy and desperate to Matt, but at the moment, the possibility that the smell of one of her favorite foods would help wake Gabby up, made perfect sense. It was certainly worth a shot.

When both of their meals were ready, the two men headed towards the cash register, grabbing a couple of bottles of soda from the case near the register. Once they each paid for the meal, they joined Camila and Antonio, who had already claimed a table and started eating. Camila had a chicken caesar wrap, grapes, and a bottle of water while Antonio had a tuna melt, bag of corn chips, and iced tea.

Matt managed to eat about a third of his sandwich before deciding he'd had enough. He started to get up to throw the rest of it out, but Camila stopped him.

"Matt, I know you're struggling with everything that's happened to Gabriela," she began. "But you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"Doing what?" Matt wasn't sure what she meant.

"Not taking care of yourself," Camila clarified.

"I'm –" Matt started to protest but couldn't get any more out as Camila kept talking.

"You're not eating," she continued. "And don't say you are because we've eaten most of our meals together since Ramon and I first walked into this hospital, and I'm positive I haven't seen you take more than a few bites of anything. You've clearly lost weight; your clothes don't fit you right anymore. And you look exhausted like you haven't been sleeping well. How could you when you're sleeping in a chair? It can't be comfortable."

"Camila," Matt started. He knew the chair wasn't the issue. Sure, it was one of the most uncomfortable things he'd ever slept in, but he wouldn't really sleep any better elsewhere. As far as he was concerned, everything with Gabby, from losing her to the fact that she had gotten hurt to the coma, was why he could barely sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. The fact that after she left he found himself not sleeping as well as before their breakup was all the proof he needed. It had only gotten worse since the accident.

"Before you say anything, I'm not trying to tell you to leave the hospital. That's not a bad idea, but I know I'd just be wasting my breath. It's hard enough getting you to leave Gabriela's side for a few minutes," Camila had no intention of letting him get a word in until she was done. "There has to be a better option than that chair though. I'm going to talk to someone.

"Matt, it means a lot to me to see how much you love my daughter. I know that's why you've been acting like this, but I also know that she wouldn't want this for you. If Gabriela were here, she wouldn't allow you to do this to yourself. She loves you too much, and when she wakes up and sees what this whole thing has done to you, it's going to break her heart so you're going to sit back down and whether you're hungry or not, you're going to finish your sandwich, both your sandwiches. You need the food, and you're going to eat it for Gabriela."

"The second sandwich is for Gabby," Matt said as he sat down. He didn't really care about himself right now, he hadn't for the past eight weeks and doubted he would until Gabby was awake, but he couldn't really argue with Camila. She was right. Gabby would want him to take care of himself, and when she woke up, she was going to have enough to deal with without having to add worrying about him to the mix.

"Huh? She's not going to be able to eat it. You know that. Even if she wakes up before we get back up there, they're going to want to control what he eats," Antonio wasn't following.

"It's chicken parmesan," Matt explained. "I figured maybe if she could smell it…" his voice trailed off as he saw the looks on Camila's, Ramon's, and Antonio's faces. He couldn't tell if they thought he was being pathetic or had lost his mind, but it was clear they didn't think his idea would work.

"Oh Matt," Camila said sadly as she reached out to hug him.

* * *

"I think I might go back to work tomorrow," Antonio informed his parents as they left the ICU that evening. "I'll make a final decision in the morning but now seems like it might be the right time."

"What makes you think it's the right time?" Ramon asked moments after the three of them stepped into the elevator.

"I mean they took the casts off this afternoon, and it sounds like aside from the fact that she hasn't woken up, she's doing fine. I know that's been the case for weeks, but something about the casts coming off feels like a milestone," Antonio explained. "I've been out of paid leave for a couple weeks. I can't just keep not getting paid. I need to be a responsible adult. After all, I've got the kids to think about. And as much as I'd love to do what Matt's doing and stay glued to Gabby's side until she wakes up, I heard what Mom said to him at lunch even if he didn't really. She's right that what he's doing isn't really healthy, but how much healthier is what we're doing? We go home and sleep and eat and take physical care of ourselves, but then we spend our days just sitting in that hospital room. I'm not giving up on Gabby. I believe that she's going to wake up, and if I'm not here when she does, I will drop whatever I'm doing, no matter what it is, and race over here. But I realized today that I can't just keep spending all day here indefinitely. I need to focus on me, and my job is a big part of who I am. Besides, maybe work will be a good distraction. Unless you'd rather I didn't go back to work. If you'd feel better if I kept coming here with you, just say so."

"No, you do what you need to do," Camila put her hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "As worried as I am about your sister, I want you to take of yourself. If going back to work and living your life is taking care of yourself, then do it. Your father and I will be fine."

"I'm still planning on stopping by every day for at least a little while," Antonio said.

"I'll hold you to that," Ramon replied as the elevator finally arrived on the first floor and the doors opened, allowing them to head towards the parking garage.

"And if I do go back to work, I expect you to call me as soon as you have any news or update on how Gabby's doing, even if it's just that nothing's changed," Antonio added.

"Of course," Camila replied. "You just let us know in the morning what you decide.

* * *

It was still dark outside as Matt tried to fall back asleep. He wasn't sure what time it was just that it didn't seem like morning yet and it felt like he'd been unsuccessfully trying to fall back asleep for hours. He supposed he could look at the clock on the wall near the door or grab his watch but both of those required moving, and if he moved, he probably would just return to his chair.

As promised at lunch on what was now probably yesterday, Camila had spoken to someone and arranged for a cot to be brought into Gabby's room for him to sleep in. The problem was the only place they could put the cot was in the corner between the bathroom and the door. He'd had to move farther from Gabby, and after weeks of holding her hand while he slept, he found himself sleeping without physically touching her for the first time since the night after the accident. He had been tempted to refuse the cot and just continue sleeping in his chair. However, he knew that would just lead to a fight with Camila, especially given how much she seemed to be worrying about him. The last thing he wanted was to fight with Gabby's family and certainly not in front of her unconscious form. So he had accepted the cot and retreated there when it felt like it was an appropriate time to go to bed.

The beeping of the monitors kept pulling Matt from his thoughts. He wasn't sure if that was what was keeping him up or not. Just that for some reason he was hearing them. After so much time in Gabby's hospital room, the beeping had long since become barely noticeable background noise. He tried to figure out why he was suddenly noticing it. As far as he could tell, the rhythm wasn't any different from normal. Maybe the change in his position made him more perceptible to what was going on. He shifted slightly in the cot as he pondered things and felt a couple of the springs dig into his side. He wasn't sure what was more uncomfortable: the awkwardness of sleeping in a chair or laying on such a thin mattress. All he knew for sure was that none of it came remotely close to the comfort of being in his own bed at home with the woman he loved in his arms, and he wasn't going to get a good night's sleep until he was back in that situation.

Suddenly, he was startled by the sound of the door opening. Sitting up, he saw a figure enter the room and stop to stare at the light switch as if debating whether or not to flip the switch. Through the darkness, he couldn't make out who the person was though.

"You can turn the light on," he told whoever was there.

"Wasn't sure it was a good idea. Didn't want to wake you if you were asleep," Antonio's voice flowed through the room as he flicked the light on.

"Can't sleep," Matt said. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"Middle of night? It's 6 AM," Antonio replied.

"Oh," Matt simply stated. He must have slept longer than he thought he had or fallen back asleep at one point without realizing it. If he had to guess, he would have said it was only three or four in the morning.

"I'm going back to work today. Wanted to stop by and spend some time with Gabby beforehand," Antonio continued.

"Back to work? Is Voight forcing you to return?" Matt couldn't keep his disdain for the head of the Intelligence Unit out of his voice. He couldn't fathom any other reason why Antonio would leave Gabby to go to work.

"No. It's just I can't afford to keep not getting paid. Not with the kids and the divorce," Antonio explained. He thought it best to leave out his other reasons, knowing that the fact that life needed to continue wasn't something the other man was ready to hear. That was something Matt would need to realize on his own. He just hoped his sister woke up before that happened. Based on everything he'd seen over the past eight weeks, he didn't think the other man would handle that realization well.

"What about Gabby? She needs us," Matt asked. He tried to understand where Antonio was coming from, but it was difficult. He knew their situations were different. Antonio loved Gabby. They were extremely close, and Gabby was very important to her brother, but Antonio wasn't in love with her, he was. Conversely, he didn't have kids or a difficult ex-wife to worry about, but Antonio did. Logically, he understood that for Antonio at least Diego and Eva had to come first, but Gabby was the light of his life. To him nothing was more important so he had to keep reminding himself why Antonio would feel that way.

"I'm not abandoning my sister," Antonio got defensive. "I'll be here every day, either before or after work, if not both. When I spoke to Voight last night about getting back, I made it very clear that Gabby's condition was still one of my top priorities and that I wasn't going to be able to put in a bunch of extra hours for the sake of a case. He understood, and they've been a man down for practically two months at this point, they're certainly capable of covering for me so I can get here at a reasonable hour. The moment she wakes up or something changes, I'll drop everything to get over here, and once she is awake I'll do whatever she needs me to do to for her. You have to know that. At the same time, how much good has my being here actually done her? If all she needed to wake up was for me or us to be here, don't you think she'd be awake by now?"

"You sound defeated," Matt was trying not to get angry, but the last part of Antonio's explanation really bothered him. And he really didn't like the thoughts those words had triggered to so he tried to push them out of his mind.

"I'm not defeated. I just think that Gabby's condition is something that has to work itself out in its own time and that it has less to do with whose here and more to do with whatever's going on in her head, whatever caused her to fall into a coma in the first place," Antonio countered without realizing just how right he was. "Look I can only stay for about an hour before I have to head to the district. Can we discuss this later? I'd like to spend some time with my sister."

"Sure," Matt acquiesced as he got off the cot and moved to join Antonio at Gabby's bedside. After taking a seat in his chair, he watched Antonio interact with Gabby while trying to contemplate how he would handle things if he were in Antonio's shoes. He wanted to be able to relate to why Antonio had made the decision, but the only conclusion he could come to was the fact that he was grateful that he wasn't in Antonio's shoes, that instead he was in a position where Gabby could be the only thing that mattered.

* * *

"I'm sorry Antonio felt like he had to leave you and go back to work," Matt told Gabby once it was just the two of them. "I know you liked having him here even if you can't say it. I promise I'm not going anywhere Baby. Nothing's more important than you. Nothing. I'll be here, at your side, no matter how long it takes for you to come back to us. Unless you don't want me to be here. If my being at your side is why you haven't woken up yet, if you no longer love me and don't want to see me or to have to deal with me, I can at least go to the waiting room. You just need to give me a sign that that's what you want. I don't think I can bring myself to leave the hospital though. I love you too much to not be at least nearby while you're in here so I hope that would be enough. I don't ever want to be the reason you don't wake up. What I hope most of all though is that you do still love me and you do want me here, that you're glad I'm here and that you're doing everything you can to come back to me. I need to know that those things are true. My heart says they are, but sometimes I can't help but worry. So please Gabby send me a sign, if you still love me and want me here, please find a way to let me know," he didn't even bother to wipe the tears that had started flowing down his cheeks as he begged her to come back to him.

* * *

"Welcome back Detective. How's your sister?" Sergeant Platt smiled at Antonio as he entered District 21, her positive demeanor catching him off guard.

"Pretty much the same," Antonio replied. It felt like it was true. The fact that she was still in a coma seemed like a much bigger deal than all her other progress.

"Randy thinks very highly of her," Platt must have sensed Antonio's surprise at her attitude. Of course she had no idea just how highly her boyfriend had once thought of the PIC turned candidate. "From what he says it sounds like everyone she works with is taking it hard, what happened to her I mean."

"Thanks Sergeant. I should get up there though," Antonio motioned towards the staircase that led to the Intelligence Unit. Platt simply nodded in response.

Antonio headed up the stairs, placing his hand in the palm scanner, he waited until he heard the click that signaled the gate had unlocked. Opening it, he headed the rest of the way up the stairs until he was in the bullpen. After eight weeks mostly going from the hospital to his apartment and back again, it somehow felt both weird and normal to be here. Looking around he took the room in. Lindsey and Halstead were the only ones there. That wasn't unusual though. The two of them were normally the first ones there in the morning. What was unusual though was what they were wearing.

"Suits?" he called out, getting his two colleagues' attention.

"You didn't hear? While you were out it was announced that all non-uniformed personnel were required to wear suits," Halstead joked.

"We're scheduled to testify in court later this morning," Lindsey gave the real explanation. "It's good to see you here. Does this mean –"

"No," Antonio interrupted, understanding exactly what she was about to ask.

"Antonio," Voight stuck his head out of his office door.

"I'll talk to you two later," Antonio told Lindsey and Halstead before heading into his boss's office. Voight didn't wait for Antonio before retreating. When Antonio entered the room, he found his sergeant already seated behind his desk so he sat down across from Voight.

"I know you had wanted you sister to be awake before you came back to work, but I think I can safely speak for the whole unit when I say that we're glad to have you back," Voight began. "There is something you should know though. I didn't think it was something you should find out about over the phone last night, and I understand if it causes you to change your mind about coming back here. Ryan Swanson is doing his community service at the district."

"What do you mean his community service?" Antonio asked. Ryan Swanson was the teenager who had been driving the car that hit Gabby.

"They didn't tell you and your family?" Voight half observed half questioned.

"Tell us what?" Antonio asked.

"Ryan Swanson's parents have donated to both the state's attorney's and the mayor's election campaigns. I don't know if that's why the SA did it or not, but he made a deal with the kid," Voight started to explain.

"We knew a deal was being considered, but we didn't know any details," Antonio interrupted. He got the sense that he wasn't going to like what Voight had to say. "We would have argued against anything that was lighter than what he deserved."

"Maybe that's why they didn't tell you. Swanson was charged as a juvenile so it's not like he was looking at some big sentence in the first place, but he wound up with barely anything. In exchange for pleading no contest, he was given 100 hours of community service and some other minor things. Not sure how he wound up doing the community service at the district, but he's here for a couple of hours after school 2-3 times a week," Voight said.

"What?" Antonio was incredulous. A hundred hours of community service for what that kid had done? Forget about fitting the crime, that couldn't even be considered a slap on the wrist. Considering what had happened that night, the kid was the one who deserved to be punished. Instead they were the ones suffering while he was apparently free to live his life.

"Calm down before you do something stupid. He's going to be here this afternoon," Voight noticed the rage building in Antonio.

"You of all people are going to tell me that?" Antonio thought Voight was being a complete hypocrite.

"I'm not saying don't do anything; I'm saying don't do anything stupid. You know we'll all be with you if you want to teach this kid a lesson, but you can't do it here, and you better make sure it doesn't come back to you. Not with the connections he has. You have to be smart and leave him alone when he's here," Voight clarified. "The whole district's making sure this isn't some walk in the park for him. He's scrubbing toilets and the locker room and doing the worst jobs anyone can think of and he knows that we all hate him. Everyone's reminding him of exactly what he did and who he did it to. He couldn't have found a district that was going to be harder on him than 21."

"Some comfort," Antonio muttered.

"I know, and if things were different, I'd let you throw him in the cage and do whatever you want to him. I'd let you bring Casey with you too even knowing firsthand exactly what he's like when you do something to someone he loves," Voight said. "Look just put it out of your mind, and this afternoon try to forget that he's here. We don't have a case right now, but I at least have a lot of paperwork I need to you to do."

Voight picked up a stack of papers from the corner of his desk. They were HR forms that Antonio needed to fill out to end his leave of absence. Nodding, Antonio took the papers and tried to do as he'd been told. He tried not to think about what Voight had just told him or how he was supposed to relay that information to his parents and Matt. He doubted he would be successful though. If anything, today was going to be a long day.

* * *

It was the middle afternoon of what was turning out to be a slow first day back. Intelligence still didn't have a case so while Lindsey and Halstead had left for court just after lunch, the rest of the unit found themselves either just sitting around or catching up on whatever they'd put off for one reason or another. Work certainly wasn't proving to be a good distraction. His mind kept wandering to Gabby, and while he'd resisted the urge to call his parents and ask for an update, thinking of his sister tended to lead him back to the fact that Ryan Swanson was working at the district today.

Walking into the men's room, Antonio saw a figure hunched over and sitting on the floor next to the urinals with a bucket next to him. The figure had its back to Antonio but it was clearly male and looked to be a teenager. Antonio guessed that this figure was Ryan Swanson, but he needed the boy to turn around to be certain. Swanson's face was ingrained in his brain after all. While his parents had stayed at his sister's side, he'd gone to the boy's arraignment, and he'd made sure to take a seat where he could get a good look at the kid who had nearly killed his sister, hoping that the boy would notice his glare and understand just exactly what he had done.

"You," Antonio growled not wanting to wait for the figure to turn around and confirm his suspicions.

"Excuse me," the figure said as it got up and turned around, proving that he was indeed Ryan Swanson. "Do I know you?"

"Detective Dawson," Antonio simply stated. Swanson must have realized what that meant because he gulped before Antonio continued. "I was at your arraignment. Would have been at your trial too if you hadn't somehow managed to get away with everything. How could I not when my baby sister's in a coma because you nearly killed her."

"Got away with everything? I had to agree not to get a driver's license until I'm eighteen. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that's going to be when all my friends start getting their licenses, and I have to explain that I can't. I'm going to have to get rides from my parents or worse take public transportation. And look at what I'm doing. Does it really look like I got away with everything? I'm being forced to scrub a bathroom for god's sake," Ryan argued defiantly.

"Hard work isn't a punishment, it's a fact of life," Antonio countered, the boy's flippancy making him angrier and irritated.

"Yeah. If you're the maid," Ryan retorted.

That did it. Antonio had heard enough from this smug, ungrateful prick, who clearly was too self-absorbed to care about what he had done or understand how lucky he was to have gotten off without a more severe punishment.

"This is for my sister," Antonio growled as he lunged at Swanson. Only unbeknownst to him, Atwater had walked into the restroom during their conversation.

"Antonio don't," Atwater shouted as he moved to restrain him. Antonio managed to get one good punch in before Atwater grabbed him and somehow pulled the detective off of the teenager.

"Let me go Kev," Antonio struggled again him

"You know I can't do that," Atwater replied.

"This kid doesn't even care what he did to my sister. She nearly died. She's been in a coma ever since, and when she does wake up, she's never going to be the same," Antonio argued. "And he's here perfectly fine and complaining about how much he thinks his life sucks."

"I know it's not fair, but this isn't the answer," Atwater told him.

"The hell it isn't," Antonio said as he managed to break free and lunge at Ryan again.

The commotion in the men's room could be heard in the district hallway, prompting a small crowd, which included Voight and Olinsky, to enter the bathroom to see what was going on. By the time, Atwater, Voight, and Olinsky managed to get Antonio off of Ryan for a second time, the teenager's face was bloodied. A couple of uniformed officers escorted Ryan out of the bathroom.

"You should think about what you actually did," Antonio called after him.

"I'm-I'm sorry," Ryan finally stuttered. Although Antonio suspected it was more to try to make sure he didn't go after him again.

"What did I say about doing something stupid?" Voight said once it was just the four men from Intelligence.

"I didn't go looking for him, but you didn't hear what he said," Antonio defended himself.

"The kid's a real piece of work. If I were Antonio, I would have done the same thing," Atwater agreed.

"That's not the point," Voight said before turning his attention to Antonio. "Take the rest of the afternoon off. Go back to the hospital and be with your sister and family. You clearly need it. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes sir," under normal circumstances, Antonio would have argued, but he wasn't going to turn down the chance to get back to his family.

"Kevin, I need you to tell me exactly what happened in case we need to do damage control," Voight instructed as the rest of them headed back to the Intelligence Unit.

* * *

Antonio felt alarmed as he entered Gabby's room in the ICU and noticed the empty bed. They couldn't have taken her for tests. The bed wouldn't have still been in the room if that were the case. His parents and Matt were missing too. He supposed they could be in the waiting room or cafeteria, but that didn't explain where Gabby was. Then he noticed that while Matt's cot was still in the corner, the bags that contained Matt's stuff were gone as were several pieces of medical equipment. Now he was in full blown panic mode.

"Where's my sister?" Antonio's voice was filled with fear as he ran up to the nurse's station. "She's not in her room. What happened? Is she okay"

"Mr. Dawson calm down," Gina, the nurse behind the desk, replied. He was getting really tired of people telling him to calm down. "Your sister is fine. In fact she's doing so well the doctor's decided she didn't need the ICU anymore. They moved her to a regular medical unit about an hour ago. Just give me a minute to look up her new room number."

Antonio relaxed as he absorbed the information. While it wasn't the best news he could have been given, that would have been that Gabby was awake, it was at least positive news. He'd overreacted by fearing the worst. Still, this shouldn't have been how he found out.

"She's on the sixth floor. Room 607," Gina read from the computer monitor in front of her.

"Thanks," Antonio said before turning and heading towards the elevators.

Pressing the up button, he had to wait a couple minutes for one to arrive. When it did, he stepped in and hit the button for the sixth floor. He found himself waiting impatiently as it ascended the two floors. Not being very familiar with this part of the hospital, he had to follow the signs towards Gabby's new room, but he eventually made it. Once there he found he found his parents and Matt arranged around the bed just as they had been downstairs. Matt was still holding onto Gabby's hand as if his own life depended on it, and his mother was still leaning towards his father as if she needed the support. It was a sight that brought home just how hard this situation had been on all of them. That didn't change what he felt he needed to say though.

"Why didn't you tell me they had moved Gabby's room?" he asked.

"What?" Camila was startled as she looked towards him.

"When I got here and there was no sign of Gabby or any of you in her room in the ICU, I was afraid something had happened," Antonio clarified.

"We were planning on calling, but we thought we had more time before you got here. It's barely four o'clock," Ramon explained.

"Voight sent me home or rather here," Antonio informed them.

"What? Is everything okay? Did things not go well at work today?" Camila battered him with questions. She didn't want to have to worry about her son on top of everything else.

"It wasn't so much work. There's something I need to tell you," Antonio braced himself to deliver the news about Ryan Swanson to the three people in front of him. He didn't think they were going to like what he had to say any more than he did.

* * *

 _Gabby sat on her bunk with her back against the wall behind it while Shay sat on the foot of the bed. It was just after lunch, but after a busy morning for Firehouse 51, this was the first chance they'd had to sit down, just the two of them. Matt was in his office doing the paperwork for their last call. Most of the Truck guys were in the common room, and last Gabby had seen them, the Squad guys were playing cards at their table on the apparatus floor. Brett was off somewhere with Cruz, allowing the best friends to have some girl time that was just the two of them. Over the past few months, the young paramedic had been spending more time on shift with the two of them, and while Gabby enjoyed Brett's company, she missed having more time at the house where it was just her and Shay._

" _How was your big date with Katrina?" Gabby asked her best friend. Katrina was the girl Shay had met on a call a couple of shifts ago. When Shay had called her after getting off shift the following morning, they had made plans to go out Friday night. Gabby had known all week that despite having only spent a brief time Katrina, and mostly in the back of 61, Shay was quite smitten with the girl. After all, the upcoming date had been one of her favorite topics all week, and she'd insisted that Gabby come with her to buy a new outfit and help her get ready. So now that it was Saturday and the date had happened, Gabby desperately wanted to know if it had lived up to the hype._

" _It was really great. Definitely the best first date I've ever had. Although we never made it to the movie," Shay started but Gabby must have given her a look because next thing Gabby knew, Shay was laughing shaking her head. "Not like that. Although lord knows I wanted to. The woman is sexy as hell, but unfortunately, Trina, that's what she said her friends call her, doesn't do sex on the first date. Good news is there'll be a second date. It's just we had such an easy time talking to each other that we lost track of time. It felt like barely any time had passed, but suddenly the restaurant was telling us they were closing, and we had to leave."_

" _So, what's she like?" Gabby asked._

" _She's really nice. She's had a tough life, but she has a huge heart. After finding her at a fancy law firm downtown, I was a little worried she was some big shot lawyer. Turns out she's working there as a paralegal to try to save up for law school, and she doesn't want to be a lawyer for the money or glory or anything like that. She wants to be a public defender. In a lot of ways, she's like us. She wants to do something where she can help people who need it._

" _It makes a lot of sense actually. Her parents died in a car accident when she was ten, and her younger brother was in the car with them and wound up paralyzed. She said she could really appreciate the fact that I'm a paramedic because if it wasn't for the medics who responded to the accident, her brother woudn't have even made it to the hospital. She's wanted to help people ever since, to give back, but becoming a paramedic wasn't an option. She can't stand the sight of blood, and the way she reacted to some of my stories, as great as she is, I don't think she's cut out to do what we do."_

" _You were on a first date, and you started talking about calls," Gabby just shook her head. Sure it was something she and Matt did, but it wasn't something she would have ever brought up on their first date, and they worked together and had been close enough to talk about their day for years by the time they got together. If he had been a stranger, she would have just discussed what her job was like in vague terms if asked at the beginning of their relationship._

" _Hey, even if she was grossed out, she was fascinated by it. Besides, she was the one who started it by asking what the weirdest thing I'd seen was," Shay defended herself. "Definitely my kind of girl."_

" _Sounds like it," Gabby agreed._

" _Anyways, after the accident, she and her brother were raised by their grandparents. She came out when she was in college, and they did not take it well. Made me realize just how lucky I was that my parents were so accepting. At first, they kept insisting she was wrong and just hadn't met the right guy yet. I guess one day she brought her girlfriend home with her, and they completely freaked. Went off on them about how they were going to hell and how they were crazy for even thinking about kissing each other and how her parents must be turning over in their graves. When they were done, they told her she was no longer welcome in their home, cut her off, and prohibited her brother from speaking to her. Although they did reconnect once he was in college and out of the house. The girlfriend decided she had too much baggage and broke up with her that same night, and she wound up having to work three jobs to put herself the rest of the way through college. Wound up taking her six years to graduate because she couldn't afford to pay for more than two or three classes at a time."_

" _Poor girl," Gabby said. Truth was she was impressed that Trina had felt comfortable sharing all that on their first date._

" _She told me that she normally waits to tell a girl that," it was like Shay had read her mind. "She's worried that it's just going to scare someone off, but she had a feeling she didn't have to worry about that with me."_

" _She's right. I can't see you not giving someone a chance because of something they couldn't control," Gabby said._

" _Thanks Dawson," Shay smiled at her._

" _Did you tell her your life story too?" Gabby asked._

" _A little. Not as much as she told me, but there's less to my story," Shay replied. "I guess we just couldn't wait to find out more about each other. After one date, is it crazy to think that she might be the one?"_

" _No. I know it's not the same thing, but when Matt showed up at my door and kissed me for the first time, maybe it was wishful thinking, but even before I realized that we were going to wind up in my bed, I'm pretty sure that deep down I knew that I'd never kiss another guy again. And when we woke up the next morning and he told me that it wasn't just a one night stand, that he actually wanted a relationship with me, I remember thinking that I may have found my forever. Yes, I'd known Matt for years. I'd loved him for years, but we weren't even in a relationship yet," Gabby couldn't help but wonder if Matt could hear what she was saying and if he felt the same way._

" _Awww, I'll take a comparison to you and Casey any day," Shay smiled._

 _Before Gabby could say anything else, Otis walked into the bunkroom._

" _Dawson, Chief's looking for you and Casey," he informed her._

" _Okay," Gabby said as she got up and headed towards Matt's office. Only he must have heard Otis as he emerged before she could take more than a few steps._

" _Any idea what this is about?" Matt asked as he approached her, Otis, and Shay._

" _Sorry Lieutenant," Otis replied._

" _We'll finish this later," Gabby gave Shay a smile before she and Matt headed towards Boden's office. For some reason, she couldn't help feeling apprehensive._

" _Come in," Boden called after Matt knocked on the office door._

" _Otis said you wanted to see us Chief," Matt said as they entered the office._

" _Ah yes. Casey, Dawson take a seat," the Chief motioned towards the side wall where the couch was. The couple obliged, and Boden walked out from behind his desk. Turning an armchair around, he took a seat facing the couple. Once everyone was seated, he spoke again._

" _As I'm sure you remember, when I agreed to let Dawson do her candidacy on Truck 81, we agreed that the placement would only be for the year she was a candidate," the Chief started, making Gabby take in a deep breath as she realized where this was going. "Now that the year is almost up, it's time we start making arrangements for Dawson's transfer, and I was wondering if either of you had given any thought to where she gets placed."_

" _I get a say in this," Gabby responded. Although she supposed to shouldn't be surprised. Over a year ago, he had asked her the same thing. Of course that hadn't exactly worked out so well._

" _I can't guarantee anything, but I can certainly try to pull some strings," Boden told her._

" _I can try to help too," Matt said. "And now that you have some experience under your belt you do have some input into a transfer."_

" _I hadn't even started thinking about it," Gabby admitted. While she had always known she would have to leave 51 at some point, it wasn't something she liked to think about. Besides, without knowing exactly when she had started on 81 in this reality, she wouldn't have known when she was going to finish her candidacy anyways._

" _She needs to stay on second watch," Matt insisted. "Only being able to see each other one out of every three days isn't an option, and I want her in a good house that's going to treat her right. Gabby deserves so much better than what Welch did to her and what he would have put her through had she had to work for him. And she shouldn't have to go through any of that again."_

" _Somewhere in this general area would be good too. That way I don't have to worry about a long commute," Gabby piped in. "Other than that, I don't really know."_

" _Can we have some time to think about it?" Matt asked._

" _Of course," Boden replied. "I'll try to put together a list of openings and get it to you by the end of shift. Just let me know any preferences you have as to house or company by the end of the week so I can start trying to put things in place."_

" _Thanks Chief," Matt said and with that they walked out of the office._

 _As they made their way through the firehouse hallway, Gabby paused for a minute outside the common room. Looking in she saw the majority of Truck and Squad along with Shay and Brett goofing around and laughing. The sight caused a wave of sadness to hit her._

" _You okay?" Matt must have noticed a change in her demeanor._

" _Yeah," she tried to brush it off, not wanting him to think that she was having second thoughts about leaving so they could move forward._

" _It's me," he said as he turned her around to face him._

" _Not here," she gave in. "Can we talk in your quarters?"_

" _Sure," Matt said as they made their way back towards the bunkroom in silence. Gabby took the time to try to figure out how explain how she was feeling._

" _Talk to me," Matt said once they were seated on his bed. "Did I say or do something wrong in there?"_

" _No, not at all. I agreed with everything you said," Gabby took his hands in hers. "I mean I guess there's a part of me that feels like I'm getting something because I'm sleeping with the boss. Not that I don't appreciate you trying to pull some strings for me because I do."_

" _My thoughts on where you should be placed are because we're sleeping together, but that's not why I'm willing to pull strings for you. I'm trying to help you get a placement you want for the same reason Boden is. I'd do that for anyone on 81, who I thought deserved it and was looking to leave," Matt studied her closely. "That's it, isn't it? You don't really want to leave."_

" _Yes and no," Gabby admitted. "I've always known that I wasn't going to stay on 81 permanently, that at some point I'd have to leave 51, and while I've never been thrilled about, I've always been okay with it. After all, I was ready to leave last year. It's just for the entire time I've been a candidate, it's always seemed so far off. Now it's not. I've worked here for so long, and I have so many great memories. 51 gave me the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave me you. All of a sudden it just hit me how much I'm going to miss this place and working with everyone."_

" _This place and everyone here is going to miss you too. And it's certainly going to be strange for me. This place is going to feel a lot different and empty without you here," Matt told her. "But it's not like you're losing everyone. You're still going to have your girl time with Shay and hang out with the guys. You're still going to own Molly's with Hermann, Otis, and Shay. You're not losing your friends Gabby. You're still going to be part of this family."_

" _I know," Gabby replied. "And I do know that what I'm getting out of leaving is worth it. Don't get me wrong. If they told me tomorrow that I could marry you and stay on 81, I'd agree in a heartbeat. They won't though so transferring is the only option. As much as I wish I could stay here, I'd choose you over 81 any day. I feel like we've already begun our life together, but I can't wait for us to really get to live it. I love you so much Matt."_

* * *

Author's Note: So I know it was a little different than most chapters with more of the focus on Antonio, but I hope it wasn't too much of a diversion from Matt. Life does eventually have to go back to a little more normal at some point, you know?

Anyways, until next time, please let me know what you thought.


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: So definitely not three months this time. As always, a big thank you to my reviewers. Glad people seemed to enjoy the little detour to follow Antonio's day in the last chapter.

Don't have too much to say this time, but I hope everyone here in the US had a good Thanksgiving yesterday. Now onto the story. You all know the drill by now. Read, hopefully enjoy, and then please take a moment to let me know what you thought.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Three

" _Hey," Matt's voice pulled Gabby's attention towards the door as he walked into Molly's. It was still early, not even six o'clock, on a weeknight and the place was pretty empty with only a few random patrons scattered around random tables. Gabby was behind the bar, organizing the alcohol and glasses to her liking._

" _Hey, how was your day?" Gabby asked once he reached the bar. Leaning over it, she placed a kiss on his lips. They'd barely seen each other since getting off shift that morning. As they'd left 51, Gabby had given her bag to Matt and then headed for her own car to go to a dentist appointment instead of home. When she'd made it to their apartment later that morning, Matt was getting ready to leave for a construction job._

" _Alright. Pretty ordinary. Should be finishing up at the Stevenson's tomorrow," Matt referenced his construction job, where he was building a ramp and converting a den into a first floor bedroom for an elderly couple, who were starting to have trouble with stairs but didn't want to leave their home. "Yours?"_

" _Boring. Well, other than being late for the dentist because Shay was all over me wanting to know what Chief wanted to talk to us about this morning. Pretty sure she's figured out that she's not going to like it, but other than that, I think I managed to successfully dodge for now," Gabby explained._

" _Why dodge?" Matt asked. "She's going to find out eventually."_

" _I know. I just don't know how to tell her that I've got two weeks left at 51, and then I'm off to 13," Gabby replied. Just before shift ended that morning Boden had called the two of them into his office. The Chief had just gotten off the phone with the Deputy District Chief and wanted to let them know that everything had been arranged for Gabby to transfer to another Truck company once her candidacy was over. She had four more shifts as a candidate. Then she'd officially be a firefighter, only on Truck 6 instead of Truck 81._

" _When you first started on 81, everyone, including Shay, knew that this was only going to be for a year. To get you Truck experience and through your candidacy and some seniority so that it'd be harder for them to force you out of somewhere. If she's done the math, she knows it's coming," Matt pointed out. "She was fine the first time you left, when you were at the Academy doing your firefighter training. Don't get me wrong. She missed you. I think she was almost as happy as I was every time you stopped by for a visit, but she was fine. She was happy for you then, and she'll be happy for you and us now."_

" _You know back then Shay and I just assumed I'd come back to 51, especially after Mills moved to Squad. There was an open spot in 81, and after working at 51 for years, surely everyone would think it made sense to give it to me. I mean, I already had a good, working relationship with everyone there. I don't know what upset me more with Jones. The fact that despite everything, she made it, and I didn't, or the fact that she was given what I saw as my spot," Gabby admitted. "Now though, it's like a chapter in my life, in our friendship, is ending."_

" _Gabby," Matt said as he reached out across the bar and took her hands in his. "It's not going to be the first chapter to end and it won't be the last. A chapter ended last year when you started your candidacy. You stopped being partners, but it didn't affect your friendship."_

" _I know. Out of everyone at 51, I'm going to miss her the most though," Gabby sighed._

" _Not me," Matt pretended to be offended._

" _Why would I miss you? You're just my boss" Gabby teased, making Matt pretend- pout more. After a minute of ignoring it, she took pity on him. "Seriously though, unless there's something you want to tell me, you're still going to the person I see the most, and even if there is something you want to tell me, it's different with you than with everyone else. With Shay, and really everyone else, our relationship didn't change when I started on 81. Okay, I wasn't riding around with Shay anymore, and the guys did the hazing and treated me all candidate-y at times, but otherwise my interactions with everyone else was the same. And Shay was still the person who I was always hanging out with, who I told everything to, who always had my back no matter what. Except for when one or both of us was on a call, we were still Dawson and Shay. Who knows what I'll have at 13? Sure, Shay'll still have Brett. She won't be the only woman or anything, but it won't be the same for her. Yes, she and Brett have become friends, but they're not extremely close or anything, and Brett is never going to really get Shay, certainly not the way I do. Nothing against her, but she's just not capable of it._

" _You and me though, we stopped being us at work the moment we started trying to figure out how to successfully be both lieutenant and candidate and fiancée and fiancée," Gabby continued. "Sure, we had our moments, like when you were comforting me the shift after that creep put his hand up my shirt, but for the most part, we haven't been acting the way we did when I was still PIC, not just how we acted once we were together but even when we were just friends. We don't usually talk on a personnel level about things, work related or not, when we're at 51 anymore. If something comes up during those 24 hours, it's always tabled until we're out of uniform and heading towards the car or at home, and any discussion we were having before leaving home in the morning, is all but temporarily forgotten. It used to be that if I wasn't going to Shay, if she wasn't the one I was confiding in or seeking reassurance from or whatever, it was you. I can't do that anymore, without worrying about crossing a line. The one thing that will be nice about leaving 51 is that ultimately I won't have to worry about if I'm acting too much like your fiancée or if the fact that I am is going to upset things or that someone who isn't supposed to is going to figure out that we're together."_

" _I have to admit that I'm really looking forward to being able to tell the world that you're my girl, and not having to hide the fact I love you and am going to marry you. You're not going to have to take this ring off every time you go to shift," Matt smiled as he reached down and touched her engagement ring. "In two weeks, we're not going to have to hide anymore."_

" _Matt," Gabby hoped he wasn't going to take what she was about to say the wrong way. She'd been thinking of it since shortly after Chief first approached her and Casey about her transfer the other week but hadn't known how to bring it up. She still didn't really, but he'd just given her an opening. It was like she was meant to have this conversation now. "I don't think we should tell everyone who doesn't already know about us right away or start planning everything. Let's wait a few months until I'm settled in at 13."_

" _What? Why?" Matt sounded confused and a little hurt. "Isn't the whole point of you going to 13 that it would allow us to announce our relationship, our engagement, and actually get married? I love you, and I'm proud to be with you. If you don't feel the same way, if you're ashamed or something. Look when I put that ring on your finger, it was a commitment. It wasn't intended to be some open-ended, indefinite thing. I've been down that road before. I want more with you. I want to marry you. If you don't want the same thing –"_

" _That's not what I'm saying," Gabby hadn't intended to cut him off, wanting to hear everything he had to say so could make sure he didn't have any doubts when she explained herself, but she couldn't stand to hear him thinking this way. "I love you too. I want to marry you too. I'm not ashamed of us. I look at you, and sometimes I can't help but wonder how I ever got so lucky. Our wedding day is going to be one of the happiest of my life. I'm sure of that. It's not that I want us to stay in limbo forever. I don't. It's just there are consequences for us telling the world we've been together for two and a half years and are engaged the day I walk into 13 for the first time. Consequences for me. Consequences for you and Boden. If we wait, if the people we're not really close to think that we happened after I left, we can avoid all that."_

" _And if your new house finds out you've been lying to them about when we got together, what do you think happens then?" Matt asked. "They're not going to trust you, that's what. Do you know how dangerous that could be for you? For everyone on any call you go on? Best case you wind up sidelined. Worst case, people are more concerned with keeping an eye on you or questioning your motives than anything else. We haven't done anything wrong. Neither did Boden. We didn't break any rules. We never lied. All we did was put off planning a wedding. Now you're talking about actively deceiving people."_

" _I'm not going to lie. If someone asks how long we've been together, I'll tell them the truth. I just don't think it's a good idea to go off and tell everyone that we were together and engaged the entire time I was working under you if we don't have to, and that's what announcing our relationship or engagement as soon as I leave 51 is going to do," Gabby explained. "Boden originally told the department that he couldn't take me on 81 but never gave a reason. Then he changed his mind and told them he wanted to give me the open spot. Don't you think they're going to realize that he knew about us and that was why he didn't originally want me on 81. Us working in the same company may not have technically been against the rules since we weren't married yet, but you and I both know that the department never would have let me near Truck 81 if anyone had known. They're not going to appreciate him turning a blind eye and keeping something from them to get them to make a decision they wouldn't have otherwise made. After what he did for me, don't you think we owe him the courtesy of preventing that?_

" _Then there's you," Gabby continued. "I may not have appreciated that my serving under you might be seen as a conflict of interest, but I get it now. They're going to go through everything that's happened, every call, everything to make sure that our relationship didn't cloud your judgement as lieutenant, that you were never my fiancée first and lieutenant second, and they're going to find something because it did at first. How many roofs have you vented since becoming lieutenant? I can only think of one. I don't want them to be able to hold that against you."_

" _You know you're worth anything they're going to throw at me over it," Matt told her._

" _Doesn't mean you should have to deal with it," Gabby insisted. "And maybe it's selfish, but I'm going to have it worse than you and the Chief, and I really don't want to have to go through all that."_

" _What do you mean?" Matt questioned._

" _You know how hard I had to fight to be taken seriously as a firefighter. When we were at the Academy, there were all these whispers about Jones and me. I tried to act like I didn't hear them, but I did. I'm sure Jones did too. The guys used to say how the only reason Jones got into the Academy was because of her dad. I'm not sure why they thought I got in, but there was stuff about whether I should be there, whether I could make it, whether they'd be okay working with me. It all came back to my being a woman. Remember how I wasn't originally going to be allowed retake the exam when guys who were in my same situation had been able retake it? Welch made sure I couldn't get what was supposed to be my spot because he didn't want a woman working for him," Gabby started to explain before Matt cut her off._

" _Welch is an ass," he couldn't help pointing out or keep the disdain from his voice._

" _That's not the point, Matt. If I'd been a guy, I wouldn't have lost that spot or wound up in indefinite limbo. If Boden hadn't stepped in, who knows when or if I would have ever actually made it onto a Truck," Gabby countered. "And then there was everyone at 51. They're great guys, and I know they love me and Shay, but they were not happy about Jones being on 81 even before she showed up and they met her. And when I started, they may have been more used to the idea of having a woman on Truck with them because of Jones, and they may have been happy for us, but they also saw our relationship as being at least part of why I was there."_

" _They were glad to still have you at 51," Matt pointed out._

" _Maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that there was a stigma associated with being the lieutenant's girlfriend, and not just because it took us a while to figure out how to balance everything," Gabby replied. "The guys all knew me. They were my friends. How do you think people I've never met before are going to see things? It'll be even more of that. I don't want to be known as the firefighter who built a career with her vagina."_

" _Anyone who thinks that isn't worth it," Matt argued._

" _Even if that's true, it doesn't change what I'm going to have to put up or how often I'm going to have to put up with it. I know it sucks, but all our lives will be so much easier if we just wait a while before telling the world about us," Gabby insisted. "Besides, we've both said it before. Everyone who really matters already knows about us, and this doesn't mean we have to delay the wedding."_

" _You said earlier that we should wait to start planning," Matt interrupted._

" _I just meant to start making formal plans. Looking at venues. Booking things. Buying the dresses. That doesn't mean that we can't start thinking about what we want or when we want to get married. I know we can't finalize everything and get married the next day, but it's not like we need to wait years. I'm sure we can plan everything and have the wedding and have the wedding in a reasonable amount of time. We don't need to delay the wedding, just because we delay letting the world know about us," Gabby clarified._

" _Can I get another beer?" a man called from the other end of the bar, interrupting their conversation._

" _Of course," Gabby called back before quickly turning her attention to Matt. "I'll be back in a minute. You want another one as well?"_

" _Sure," Matt said. He'd finished his beer several minutes ago but hadn't asked for another one. Gabby assumed it was simply because he had been too caught up in their conversation. At least she hoped that was the case. The other option was that hearing that she didn't want to immediately announce their engagement had left him needing a drink. Although if that was the case, he would have gone for something stronger than a bottle of Bud. Wouldn't he?_

 _Pushing those thoughts aside, she headed across the bar area, stopping at the tap to grab a glass and fill it with Coors Light since that was what the man had ordered earlier._

" _Here you go," she said as she handed the glass to the man. Grabbing the empty glass, she put it with the other glasses that needed to be brought back to the kitchen and cleaned, knowing Hermann would get it soon. "Let me know if you need anything else."_

" _Thanks," the man said before turning his attention back to his buddy, signaling that Gabby could go back to Matt. Grabbing a bottle of Bud out of the fridge behind the bar, she did just that._

" _I'm not trying to hurt you or upset you when I said I want to wait a bit longer to tell the world about us. I just don't see why we should make things harder for us and the Chief when it's not actually going to change anything between you and me," she explained as she handed him his beer._

" _I know," Matt reassured, putting his beer aside and taking her hands in his. "But you can't blame a guy for wanting to tell the world that he's the one whose lucky enough to have won your heart. I'm proud you're my girl Gabby. I can't help wanting everyone to know."_

" _If anyone's lucky it's me, and I'm proud to be your girl too," Gabby insisted. "I know I just kind of sprung this on you. I'm not really sure why I started thinking about this. Just that it's been in the back of my mind for a while. I wasn't sure how to bring it up though."_

" _It definitely wasn't something I was expecting. It wasn't that long ago that you were talking about how the good thing about you leaving 51 was that it meant we were able to move forward," Matt pointed out._

" _I'm sorry I blindsided you. I get it if you need time to think about or process all this," Gabby said. "Why don't we table this for now and discuss it in a few days with Jessica. Maybe she can help us figure out what's best for us personally and professionally."_

" _Deal," Matt said although he still sounded unsure._

" _So Shay mentioned that she might come by tonight with Trina," Gabby changed the subject now that they had an agreement. She had wanted to ask for whatever insights he had on Firehouse 13 but figured now probably wasn't the best time._

" _You think she really will this time? Hasn't Shay said that the last three times you were working, and she wasn't. I almost wonder if this girl really exists. Maybe I should check with Severide. See if she's been around their apartment," Matt replied jokingly._

" _Hey. You can't really blame Shay. I know I didn't want to share you when we first got together," Gabby said. "And Trina did stop by here when Shay was working on Saturday. Someone just wanted to stay home."_

" _You weren't complaining Saturday night. Seemed like you had a great time," Matt smiled. "Besides, between the nights you're working, and the time we spend out with everybody, we're here all the time. Is it so wrong to want to spend a nice, quiet night at home? Just the two of us enjoying each other's company?"_

" _I wouldn't exactly describe it as quiet. I seem to remember being hoarse when we got to shift the next morning and hoping I put on enough makeup so that no one could see the hickeys on my neck," Gabby blushed as she referenced how one stray comment about her neck feeling stiff while Matt was making popcorn and she was picking out a movie had led to a massage that quickly turned into several rounds of loud, passionate couch sex, the popcorn first forgotten on the coffee table and then somehow strewn all over the floor, the movie never even started. "We're lucky we have such thick walls given how much of a prude Ms. Norton is. Remember that morning a couple of days after we moved in? You were off to a construction job, and she saw me kissing you goodbye in the doorway. You'd think we were both naked or something the way she reacted. I don't even want to think about what she'd say if she'd heard us making love. Probably something about how we're going to hell. The old lady always looks at me as if she thinks I'm living in sin."_

" _So you are complaining?" Matt raised an eyebrow._

" _Of course not. It was a really great night," Gabby leaned across the bar to kiss him before shifting her tone into a seductive whisper. "You know maybe if you play your cards right, we could relive it tonight."_

" _Just tell me what to do," Matt replied._

" _What I don't like," Gabby started ignoring Matt's response and suddenly shifting the tenor of their conversation. "Is that Otis got to meet the woman whose practically my best friend's girlfriend before I did. He got to talk about what it was like meeting her with Shay at shift yesterday, and I didn't. It really sucks, and if we were here instead of home, that wouldn't have happened."_

" _If Shay and this woman are real and going to last a while, you're not just going to eventually meet her, you're going to wind up seeing more of her than anyone at 51 other than Severide," Matt pointed out._

" _It's real. Trust me. It's real. The way Shay talks about Trina. The look on her face when she does. I've never seen her like this about anyone. Not even Clarice. Shay's falling for her. I'm positive," Gabby stopped there, figuring that while the fact that Shay was still with Trina after several weeks despite not having had sex with her yet was another sign that Shay was falling in love, it wasn't something Shay would want her sharing or Matt would want to hear._

" _Well then there's really no reason for you to worry about how long it's taking you to meet this girl," Matt said._

" _If anything, it's more reason to want to meet her," Gabby disagreed._

* * *

 _An hour later, Matt was still sitting at the bar, his eyes on the TV screen and the baseball game it was showing. Meanwhile Gabby was bringing a couple of glasses of Chardonnay to a table near the back when she heard the door open. Unconsciously, she shifted her eyes towards the door, as she had done almost every other time it opened tonight, hoping to see her best friend walk through the door. This time her patience was finally rewarded as Shay entered the bar, holding hands with a brunette, who was an inch or two shorter than her. Between the hand holding and the picture she had already seen, Gabby knew this woman was Trina._

 _Shay paused as if she was scanning the bar area. From her spot, Gabby could see a smile form on the PIC's face as she looked in Matt's direction, and then the two women were heading towards him. Matt was now someone else meeting Trina before Gabby, but she couldn't really hold it against him. He was just sitting there while she was working. Speaking of working, she really should get back to bringing her patrons their wine. With that thought, Gabby finally left the spot she had been rooted to since Shay opened the door and continued her trek towards the table._

" _Here you go," Gabby said as she took the first glass off the tray she was holding and placed it on the table._

" _Thanks Gabby," the customer, Gloria, replied. Living practically across the street, she and her roommate were regulars at Molly's despite not being first responders._

" _You're welcome. Give Hermann or me a shout if you need anything else," Gabby put the second glass on the table._

" _You know we will," Bonnie the roommate laughed._

 _With that Gabby turned and left the table. Only instead of heading back behind the bar, she stayed in front of it, walking towards Shay, Trina, and Matt. All three of them were staring at the TV while Matt was also pointing or gesturing, she couldn't tell quite which._

" _Can I get you guys anything?" she called when none of them seemed to notice her._

" _Dawson, oh good, you're here," Shay turned around and bounded towards her. "I knew sticking with Casey was the best way to find you. You just can't stay away from him, even when you're working, can you?"_

" _Dawson," the woman Gabby had been presuming to be Trina said as she took her attention off the TV and turned around._

" _Yeah. You must be Trina," Gabby said as she reached her hand out._

" _Oh, that's right. The two of you haven't met yet. You were too busy getting laid to stop by on Saturday," Shay blurted out._

" _Wha-what makes you say that?" Gabby stuttered as out of the corner of her eye she noticed that Matt's face had turned bright red._

" _Oh, come on. You both had this glow about you yesterday, and there was the vague answer you gave when I asked why you hadn't stopped by when you said you would. Not to mention Casey left a few marks," Shay explained._

" _I…I thought I had covered those up," Gabby reluctantly admitted._

" _Oh, don't worry. The guys didn't notice. I'd say maybe they just don't want to think about their lieutenant and candidate doing the nasty, but Brett was convinced I was imaging things when I made a comment about it to her," Shay smirked triumphantly despite trying to reassure Gabby, who glared at Shay and then turned her attention to Trina._

" _I hope you think not having a filter is an attractive quality because this one certainly doesn't have one," Gabby said as she rolled her eyes._

" _Oooh…I still need to formally introduce you," Shay seemed to suddenly realize, not giving Trina a chance to reply. "Trina, this is Dawson, my best friend, former and favorite partner. Of course, she abandoned me, and now I've got Miss Naïve and Perky."_

" _Shay," Gabby shook her head at her friend. She thought they were all good with Brett._

" _Nah, I'm teasing. Brett's fine. I like her. Although I do maintain that that's an accurate description of her," Shay replied. "Anyways, Dawson this is Trina, who as of I think an hour ago is officially my girlfriend."_

" _Congratulations," Gabby smiled as she went to hug her best friend._

" _It's great to meet you. I've heard a lot about you," Trina said as she reached her hand out, and the two women finally shook hands, Shay's earlier interruption having stopped Gabby's earlier attempt to do so._

" _Nothing too bad I hope," Gabby replied._

" _Don't worry. From what Leslie's said you seem really great," Trina said._

" _Thanks. I've heard a lot about you too," Gabby responded. "And I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you seem to have made her really happy. That said, if you hurt her, I'll kick your ass because she'd do the same for me."_

" _Well, I guess lucky for me, I don't intend to break her heart. Sit. Join us," Trina motioned towards the barstools._

" _I can't. Sit that is. I need to get back behind the bar, but we can definitely chat," Gabby said before heading back to work. After taking care of a few more customers, she rejoined Shay, Trina, and Matt. The three of them were once again engaged in a conversation, but this time, she was able to figure out that Matt was explaining the baseball game to Trina._

" _You a Cubs fan?" Gabby asked as she settled back in since that was the game on TV._

" _Not really. Not into baseball at all. When I was little I used to watch basketball games with my dad. He loved basketball, played it through college, and wanted to pass that passion down to me and my brother. It didn't stick though, at least not with me. I used to count down until the game was over so I could get out of there," Trina answered, and Gabby observed Shay squeeze the woman's hand at the mention of her father. Gabby wasn't sure if Trina would be okay with Shay having told her that the man was dead or not so she kept her mouth shut. "Always figured that it meant sports weren't for me and never tried to watch anything else. Leslie and I are going to the White Sox game on Sunday though. I won tickets in a charity raffle. Figure I should have some idea what's going on, and Leslie's not great at explaining it so your fiancée's been nice enough to help. Says it won't quite be the same though."_

" _Yeah, Matt's good at those things. I grew up with sports, but he got my nephew into hockey," Gabby replied with a smile on her face._

" _Wait, I thought Leslie said his name was Casey," Trina seemed confused. Turning to Matt she added. "Have I been calling you the wrong name this whole time?"_

" _Nope. I answer to both," Matt said, his attention still on the game as the Cubs had the bases loaded._

" _It's technically Matt Casey I guess. We tend to just go by last names in the CFD so it kind of sticks outside of work. For me at least, the only person the whole last name thing really hasn't stuck with is Kelly," Shay explained._

" _You'll hear us all call her Shay instead of Leslie," Gabby added before a thought suddenly dawned on her. "Wait, did you think Dawson was my first name?"_

" _It could have been. I mean in Dawson's Creek, his first name was Dawson," Trina commented._

" _And he was a guy," Gabby said with a laugh._

" _For all I know, it's a unisex name," Trina defended herself._

" _It's fine," Gabby told her. "My first name's Gabby, but you're welcome to call me Dawson, especially if it's easier with Shay calling me that."_

" _Thanks. So you're a firefighter. What's that like?" Trina asked._

" _It's amazing. The adrenaline rush of running into a burning building. The knowledge that on someone's worst day, you at least gave them something. It's gotta be one of the best jobs in the world," Gabby replied._

" _It's gotta take courage too, right? I mean risking your life like that, knowing that every time you go to work, you might not make it home," Trina observed._

" _You just have to not think about how dangerous it is, live like things aren't going to go wrong and you'll come back from each call. That's the only way to do the job," Gabby said before her eyes drifted towards Matt. "Or love someone who does."_

" _I don't think I'd have the guts," Trina commented. "Being a paramedic's safer, right?"_

 _Gabby froze at that question, not sure what to say. The memory of the warehouse fire in her original reality and the beam coming down to hit Shay in the head suddenly feeling like a punch in the gut. She couldn't help looking towards Shay, reminding herself that her best friend was still here, still alive. Being a paramedic was definitely still dangerous._

" _Hey Gabby, can Gloria and I get another round?" Bonnie called as she approached the bar._

" _Sure thing," Gabby replied, grateful for the distraction and the opportunity to get out of answering Trina's questions._

 _She poured two more glasses of Chardonnay and followed Bonnie back towards the table. After dropping off the wine, she decided to take the opportunity to pick up some more glasses from the back room. Only on the way out of the back room she paused at the sound of voices. One was Matt's. The other she didn't recognize. She knew she shouldn't, but for some reason, she couldn't help standing behind the partially open door, listening in to their conversation._

" _What did you want to talk about Woods? And why did you want to talk back here?" Matt asked the man._

" _Gabriela Dawson," the man who must be Woods replied._

" _Dawson, what do you mean?" Matt seemed to still be confused so was Gabby for that matter._

" _What's the deal there? Most firefighters don't get reassigned after their candidacy so why is she? Is there some sort of problem?" Woods clarified._

 _Gabby was wondering why this man was asking about her when it suddenly hit her. Woods as in Captain Woods of Truck 6. If she was right, this man was going to be her commanding officer in a couple of weeks. That would explain why he was looking for information on her. Now the question was how was Matt going to answer? Was he going to get out of this without giving away their relationship? How was he going to shape the situation she walked into at Firehouse 13?_

* * *

Camila and Ramon Dawson were sitting in the Lakeshore Hospital cafeteria finishing up a late lunch when a woman approached them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dawson?" the woman seemed unsure.

"Yes," Camila replied. She thought the woman looked familiar, but couldn't quite place her.

"I don't know if you remember me, but we met a couple of months ago," the woman explained.

"I'm sorry I don't," Camila informed her. "Ramon?"

"It's been a long couple of months," Ramon said as he shook his head. He tried to figure out how they could have met. Since Gabriela's accident, they'd spent almost of their time either at the hospital or at home, and before then, they'd been in the Dominican Republic for several months.

"It's okay. I completely understand. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I should approach you. I'm sorry to bother you. I'll leave you alone," the woman hastily said before turning around to leave.

"Wait," Camila called after her. "What did you want to talk to us about?"

"We met a couple of days after your daughter's accident. I wanted to see how she was doing," the woman explained.

"Your daughter was in the car that hit Gabriela's," Camila put the pieces together.

"Yes, Lisa Devers, and I've been thinking about you ever since. I really hope she's doing well," the woman said sincerely. "Although if you're still here…" her voice trailed off.

"She's been in a coma for about two months," Ramon said a little bitterly.

Before Lisa could reply a teenage girl walked up to her.

"Mom, they just have regular bottled water not sparkling, and all the salads are pre-packaged not fresh, can't we go somewhere else?" the teenager whined.

"Chloe, I told you we don't have time before your appointment. Now go pick something out and grab a table. I'll join you in a couple minutes," Lisa told her.

"I'd rather skip lunch," Chloe huffed.

"Chloe," Camila commented as she pulled out from somewhere in the recesses of her brain the fact that the first time they met Mrs. Devers had mentioned that that was the name of the daughter who had been involved in Gabriela's accident. This must be the girl.

"Yeah, who are you?" Chloe asked with some attitude.

"Chloe, this is Mr. and Mrs. Dawson. Their daughter was in the car you and Ryan hit," Mrs. Devers explained.

"Oh," Chloe responded nonchalantly. "Can we go now?"

"Their daughter has been in a coma since the accident," Mrs. Devers informed her own daughter.

"Oh," Chloe said again before blowing a bubble from the gum she was chewing, annoying Camila. Gabriela clearly wasn't real to this teenager. What she'd done and what it all meant was just some abstract idea to her. Either that or the girl just didn't give a damn about anything other than herself.

"I'm sorry about this, and everything's that's happened to your daughter," Mrs. Devers apologized. "Come on Chloe, let's get to Dr. Wyman's office."

"Wait," Camila called after them. Maybe this was a bad idea, but maybe just maybe it would allow this girl to see Gabriela as a human being and understand what she'd done. "The first time we met you asked about Chloe seeing Gabriela. We never gave you answer, but if you'd still like to see her after this appointment, she's on a regular medical floor now, in room 607."

"Thank you," Mrs. Devers seemed surprised by the offer. "We'll stop by."

"Why did you offer that?" Ramon asked once the two Devers women were out of sight. He really had no desire to see that girl again, especially after witnessing her attitude.

"Because Ramon I finally understand why she asked for us to allow her daughter to see Gabriela in the first place. That girl has no concept of anything or anyone beyond herself. The only consequences she sees is what happens to her. She needs to see what she did to Gabriela. It could show her that there are other people in the world and that what she does affects them," Camila explained.

"And if it doesn't?" Ramon asked.

"Then she doesn't have a heart," Camila replied.

* * *

Matt sat alone at Gabby's bedside. With his hand clasped firmly around hers, he stared at her. Someone walking into the room would think he was trying to will her to wake up. That wasn't what he was doing though, not that he hadn't tried it several times over the past couple of months. What he was really trying to do was keep his mind from wandering because if it did, it would undoubtedly go to the same place it had gone every time he'd had a moment to just think over the past few days. Ever since Antonio had told him about the punishment, or rather lack of punishment, the man who'd been driving the other car had received, because despite his age, Matt would never be able to see the person who had done this to Gabby as a child, he'd been filled with a rage he'd never felt before.

He was furious with the state's attorney for just letting the bastard get away with it. Because as far as he was concerned, community service wasn't a punishment. It was a way to give back and serve society. Not that it sounded like the bastard understood the definition of service. And he was furious with the state's attorney for not having the gall to tell them about the deal. That he'd let them go on thinking that justice would be served when he knew it wouldn't, when he'd decided that his own personal interests were more important than the oath he'd taken. For not being able to come, look them in the eye, and explain this to them. They shouldn't have found out only because the bastard was doing his community service at District 21 on the day Antonio went back to work. Neither the state's attorney nor anyone else from his office had come to see Gabby. Maybe if he had, he would have had second thoughts before making that so called deal.

He was furious with the CPD for giving the bastard a place to do his community service and such simple tasks. Sure scrubbing toilets in a building filled with first responders was a menial task, but it wasn't an appropriate punishment for putting the most important person in the world in a coma. It was the job you gave your candidate and how you made them understand that they were starting at the bottom and had a lot to learn. If the bastard was going to wind up scrubbing toilets, he should have had to do it in a maximum-security prison. That was the type of place he deserved to be and the type of people he deserved to be surrounded by. At least then he'd get to see just how much he'd gotten away with.

He was furious with the bastard's parents for having the influence and desire to make sure their son got away with everything. They probably didn't care about Gabby or what had happened to her. All they probably cared about was their own reputation and making sure that their son's future wasn't the least bit affected let alone ruined. Never mind the lives he'd affected, possibly even ruined. No, he wasn't going to go there. Gabby was going to wake up and be okay. Their lives hadn't been ruined. The irony was that if the Swansons' house had been on fire or if that bastard and his family had been in some sort of accident and 51 got the call, he and Gabby wouldn't have thought twice about risking their own futures for them. They would have just automatically done so.

He was furious with Antonio too. He knew it was ridiculous and that he shouldn't blame the messenger, but he couldn't help it. Before Antonio had come in with the news of the bastard's deal, he'd naively been able to hold onto the belief that justice would been served. Antonio had robbed him of that belief and replaced it with the cold reality that the world had failed Gabby, and that was one of the reasons why he was mad at the world. This whole situation was just evidence that the world didn't reward the good or punish the bad.

He clenched his jaw as he felt the rage building inside him. Under normal circumstances, the sight of Gabby or sound of her voice, helped calm him down. Now though, as he stared at her, knowing that he wasn't going to hear her voice, the sight just made him even more mad. Not at her. He could never feel this type of rage towards her, but because seeing her like this, was a reminder of everything else that he was mad at.

"Matt, is everything okay?" Camila's voice pulled him from his thoughts. Looking up, he was surprised to see her sitting in one of the chairs on the other side of Gabby's bed while Ramon was in the process of sitting down beside her. He hadn't realized that they were back in the room. He must have been too lost in his anger to hear them come in.

"What?" he replied, confused as to why she was asking.

"Is everything okay?" Camila repeated the question. "You look disturbed."

"Just thinking that's all," Matt said before deciding that maybe they'd understand. "It's just it's not right. Gabby's here. She's in a coma, and the people responsible are just getting away with it. Gabby deserved more than what the state's attorney did. She deserved to have him care about her, and he didn't. Gabby doesn't deserve to be here, but if she had to be here she at least should have gotten justice. If she'd been shot, would the person who nearly killed her have gotten off so easily? Why does the fact they hit her with their car make things different? They still left her to die. I don't want to think about it, but I can't help it. In a weird way, it's funny. If Gabby were awake, she'd know what to say to get my mind off of it or at least to make me feel better. No matter what's going on, she always knows what I need even when I have no idea. Of course, if she were awake, I'd have a lot better things to focus on."

"I don't know what she'd say to you, and I know how you feel. This is my little girl. I hate the fact that she's been an afterthought in all this or at least that's what it feels like, but I know she doesn't want us to waste time or energy being angry," Camila said.

"Easier said than done," Matt grumbled before turning his attention to Gabby and whispering in her ear. "Come on Baby. Come back to me. I know your mother's right about you not wanting me to be angry, but you waking up is the only way to make things better."

As Matt took the opportunity to place a kiss on the side of her head, Ramon gave his wife a look. If Lisa Devers really did accept Camila's invitation and bring her daughter here, well, he was pretty sure it was an even worse idea than he first thought.

"Matt, I think you should know –," he started to say but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Excuse me," a woman's voice said as she poked her head through the door, her eyes settling on Ramon and Camila. "Oh good, this is the right room."

* * *

Author's Note: I want to give a shout out to NuGirl. Gabby's reflections on what it's like to be a female firefighter were inspired by a scene in her story, Glimpses of Weeks. If you're not reading it, you should be because it's awesome. And I ran my thievery by her so can we just say I borrowed it : )

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until next time, please let me know what you think.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Note: Warning! I'm pretty sure I set a new personal record for length with this chapter, but I thought it worked too well as one chapter to seriously consider trying to break it up so just grab some coffee or some wine, sit down, and enjoy.

Thank you so much to all my reviewers, especially those who have been with me since the beginning. If when I started this, you'd told me I'd still be at this as 2017 drew to a close, have written this much, and be nowhere near done with the story I want to tell, I don't think I would have believed you on any count. I totally underestimated what writing this was going to entail, but this has been by far my longest foray into fanfiction, and I don't intend to stop anytime soon so thanks for sticking with me as I've taken forever to update, written insanely long chapter after insanely long chapter, and let this story completely get away from me in terms of both time and substance. I really hope to update more often in 2018 but won't make any guarantees. That way I'm not a liar if I can't follow through.

Anyways, until I started typing just now, I didn't intend to say all that so let's just move onto the chapter. Hope you enjoy, and when you're done, please let me know what you think.

Oh and Happy Holidays : )

* * *

Chapter Twenty Four

"Excuse me," Matt said to the woman who had just opened the door to Gabby's hospital room. He was confused. There was something familiar about her but he wasn't sure why. Was she a friend of Gabby's parents? If so, why hadn't she been here before?

"This is what I wanted to warn you about," Ramon started to explain before getting interrupted again.

"Do we really have to be here?" Chloe whined. "Can't we just go home?"

"We're not going home," Lisa said sternly. Chloe was going to stay here and see the woman she'd physically hurt, the people she'd emotionally hurt, and hopefully, learn something from it all.

"Matt, I don't know if you remember Lisa Devers," Camila started to make the introduction. "We didn't when we first ran into her earlier. The teenaged brat with her is her daughter, Chloe."

"I'm not a –," Chloe started to protest, making her mother roll her eyes.

"One of the people who did this to Gabby," Matt finished Camila's sentence, the name sparking hi memory. The hatred and anger he'd been feeling were reflected in not just his voice but the glare he shot at the girl, making her physically recoil. At the same time, without even realizing it, he moved closer to Gabby as if to protect her.

"You're the fiancée, right?" Lisa asked.

"Get out," Matt growled. "You're not welcome here."

"Matt, I invited them," Camila said calmly.

"What? Why would you do that?" now Matt was furious with Gabby's parents. He didn't understand how they could stand the sight of the girl. She certainly seemed just as self-absorbed as Antonio's description of her boyfriend. More than that though, he didn't understand how they could willingly let her anywhere near Gabby. He knew she wasn't in a position to hurt Gabby anymore than she already had, but Gabby shouldn't have to be in the same room with the girl. She should be allowed to recover in peace. "They have no right to be here."

"I thought it was a good idea," Camila simply said, deciding it would be a better idea to explain herself once Lisa and Chloe left. "Chloe, come here."

"I don't want to," Chloe said as she looked at her mother, begging for a way out, only she wasn't going to get one.

"Go on," Lisa said as she gently pushed Chloe towards Camila.

"Chloe, this is Matt," Camila said calmly once Chloe was standing near the edge on the bed.

"Hi," Chloe said as she briefly glanced at him. The way he was glaring at her made her afraid to look at him for too long. He looked like he wouldn't mind hurting her. At least she didn't have to be alone with him. Her mom may have been angry and disappointed with her for what felt like forever, but she wouldn't actually let anything happen to her.

"Do you love your boyfriend? His name's Ryan, right? Could you see yourself spending your life with him?" Camila asked her as Matt shifted his gaze back to Gabby. He didn't know exactly where Camila was going with this, but he didn't want any part of interacting with Chloe Devers. Now that he was face to face with her, he had no doubt that he hated her even more than the man who killed Hallie. Unfortunately, he was in even less of a position to get revenge on her.

"I thought I loved him, but since I've been grounded and forced to go to public school, I haven't really missed him," Chloe replied, unable to keep the disdain from her voice as she referenced how her parents reacted to the accident.

"I guess that makes sense. You're only fifteen I think," Camila started.

"I'm not a child. I turned sixteen last week. That's why we were here. For my birthday checkup," Chloe informed her proudly.

"When Gabriela was fifteen, she thought she was in love too. His name was Pablo and he was two years older than her, but they went to the same high school. He asked her to homecoming, and she was in heaven. They dated for a few months. After a while, she was telling everyone who would listen that she finally knew what love was and that they were going to be together forever. I'm not sure if they ever actually broke up. All I know is that he stopped coming by and when I asked about him, all she would tell me was that it was just a stupid crush. She's an adult now though, and I knot that she's truly is in love with Matt, and he's in love with her too. They've built a life together, were planning on getting married. With Gabriela in a coma, that's all on hold," Camila conveniently left out the part where they had broken up. It didn't serve her purposes. What's more she was pretty sure they had both intended to someday get back together and ultimately get married. She knew her daughter still wanted to marry Matt, she'd heard it in her voice every time they talked after the break up. and for months now, she had been convinced that the only future Matt wanted was one he got to spend with Gabriela.

"Can you imagine loving someone so much that without them in your life you can barely function? That their well-being means far more to you than your own? That if they got hurt nothing else would matter? That's how much Gabriela and Matt love each other," Camila continued, prompting Matt to try to figure out whether he thought or hoped that was truly how Gabby felt about him. He knew for a fact that it was how he felt about her. "Matt hasn't left the hospital since he found out about what happened to Gabriela. You probably know this, but it's been about two months. He's barely left her side. We wind up having to force him to go get something to eat, and one of his friends had to bring some of his stuff by so he can at least shower and brush his teeth and put on clean clothes. That's how much he loves Gabriela. His own well-being doesn't matter. Just her. The only thing he cares about is the fact that the woman he loves is lying comatose in that bed and has been for months. I don't think it's even about wanting to be the first thing she sees, when or maybe it's if, she wakes up. If you're lucky, someday you'll find someone who loves you like that."

"She doesn't deserve to have any luck," Matt couldn't help but interject.

"It's the type of thing that every parent wishes for their child," Camila ignored Matt and then changed the subject to the next topic she wanted to use to try to make this girl understand and care. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A model," Chloe was beaming as she replied. Although she was also wondering if the woman was going to tell her that her daughter had wanted to do that too. It seemed she wanted to get her to relate to the woman but so far, she wasn't seeing it. "I'd get to travel and wear all these fancy clothes and meet hot guys and make a ton of money, and my picture would be everywhere."

"Do you know what Gabriela and Matt do for a living?" it was a rhetorical question though and Camila plowed on without waiting for a response. "They're both firefighters, and before that Gabriela was a paramedic. Growing up, she dreamed of being a doctor. Do you know why?"

"Because doctors make a lot of money," Chloe theorized, thinking that maybe she'd finally found common ground with the woman, that seemed to be what Camila was going for. What she couldn't understand though was the whole paramedic and then firefighter thing. You're out in the elements, running around, getting all sweaty. It's dangerous. Never mind how ugly the uniforms and all that gear are. They make her old school uniform look like high fashion.

"No. Because her whole life Gabriela's wanted to help people in trouble, and so she's always wanted to have a job where she could do that. She dreamed of becoming a doctor, became a paramedic and then a firefighter because she wanted to save lives. She cares about people," Camila explained. "The world could use more people like her and Matt."

"And less people like me," Chloe guessed that was what Camila meant.

"I didn't say that," Camila started to say before getting cut off by Matt.

"Yes," he said as he took a perverse form of pleasure in the look that crossed the teenager's face. She was clearly offended, but as far as he was concerned, it was the truth. She was self-centered and didn't care about anyone but herself. She was reckless and stuck up. What happened to Gabby was simply an inconvenience to her; she was only aware of it because it had made her life more difficult. It went beyond the typical teenaged attitude. The more he listened to her interact with Camila, the more convinced he was of that.

"I don't know you well enough to know whether the world could use less people like you or not. Although it could certainly use less people behaving the way you and your boyfriend did the night my daughter got hurt. What I meant was that they're good people, and there'll never be enough good people in the world," Camila clarified. "Now come closer."

Chloe showed no signs of moving though. Whatever this woman wanted she wasn't comfortable with it. She just wanted to get out of here and go home. As boring as being stuck in her room with no phone, tablet, or TV was, it was still better than being here.

"We won't hurt you. I promise," Camila said.

"Do what she says Chloe unless you want to be grounded for a year instead of six months," Lisa instructed.

"Fine, but this is so not fair," Chloe grumbled as she moved closer to Camila and the bed. Only that set Matt off.

"Fair, you want to talk about fair," he barked. "Look at you. As far as I can tell, you're nothing more than a self-centered, bratty snob. You helped cause that accident, and then you just drove off as if nothing happened. Yet here you are. You're up, awake, moving around, perfectly healthy. You got in trouble with your parents, so what? Gabby is the best person I know. She doesn't care just care about other people, she'd do anything, risk anything to help them. She did nothing wrong. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. She's the last person in the world who deserves this, but here she is. Look at her. She's been in that bed or one like it for two months. She nearly died. You left her to die. She hasn't woken up yet, and they can't tell us when she's going to. She's not the one who should be here like that. If anyone should, it's you and that boyfriend of yours."

"Mom," Chloe looked towards Lisa, desperate for help. Lisa didn't budge though. It's not that she enjoyed hearing her daughter spoken to like that. No parent would, but the whole point of this was for Chloe to learn something and understand what that accident had truly done, that her actions had repercussions. If Ms. Dawson's family lashing out at Chloe was one of those repercussions, then it was something she needed to hear.

"Do you have a good look at Gabriela from there?" Camila asked after about a minute of awkward silence. When Chloe nodded, she continued. "You see those small scars all over her cheek, they weren't there before. Her car's windshield shattered in the accident, and Gabriela wound up getting pelted in the face with shards of glass. Because of how severely hurt she was, they were only able to deal with the life-threatening injuries during her first surgery. Glass and facial scars aren't life-threatening. By the time they were able to do a second surgery, it was too late to do anything about the scarring."

"She looks like she was beautiful," Chloe commented.

"She still is," Matt angrily responded. As far as he was concerned, no amount of scarring could change that. She was Gabby, his girl. She would always be beautiful and sexy to him.

"There's a rough, discolored patch of skin from her shoulder down to her chest. Most of it's covered by the hospital gown, but if you look closely you can see the outer edges of it just above the gown's neckline. Until recently that whole area was covered by gauze and anti-burn cream," Camila resumed her story. "You see when your car hit Gabriela's, it caused it to spin out of control. Some cables were knocked loose when her car hit a utility pole. That's what shattered the windshield. And when the cables entered the car, she got electrocuted. Those scars are what's left of the resulting electric burns. Then there's surgical scars in all the places the doctors had to cut open to save her life and minimize the damage. Her chest and stomach. Her hips. Her left leg. Your life is going to move forward, and eventually you won't have any reminders of the accident. It'll just be something that happened in the past, something you may well have no reason to think about. But if Gabriela ever wakes up, she's going to be reminded of what happened every time she looks in the mirror.

"And the scars aren't the only damage from that cable," Camila continued. "It left Gabriela with an irregular heartbeat, and they had to insert a pacemaker. Her thirtieth birthday's in about a month, and she already needs a pacemaker to regulate her heartbeat. She also suffered from several seizures and the doctors were worried that she had a seizure disorder."

"Does she?" Lisa couldn't help but ask.

Camila simply shook her head. She'd been hoping to leave that as an undiscussed point so that maybe the girl would think that she'd done even more damage or at least wonder. If she had a conscious, it would hopefully haunt her. She couldn't just ignore the question though.

"That's good," Lisa said in response.

"I suppose so, but there was still a lot more damage," Camila replied before resuming explaining Gabby's injuries. "When she was first brought in, they were most concerned with all the internal bleeding and the punctured lung; that was from her broken ribs. The only good thing about Gabriela being in a coma for so long is that she hasn't had to experience the pain while her ribs healed. Anyways, in addition to the internal bleeding and punctured lung, they had to remove her spleen. During that first surgery, they were worried about the fact that she kept going into cardiac arrest. I have to be grateful, they didn't think she was going to survive, but that didn't stop them from putting everything they could into saving her life, and they did. One of the nurses started calling her miracle girl, figuring it was a miracle that she was even alive. It won't be complete unless she wakes up, but in some ways, it's been our little miracle."

Matt couldn't help but smile at that. He'd never really thought about it before, but the miracle wasn't just the fact that Gabby was still alive. In so many ways, she was his miracle. She wasn't so much his second chance at love after Hallie. She was his chance to experience a truer, deeper love than he'd ever imagined was possible, and part of him couldn't help but wonder if the reason he was put on this earth was to love her. She lit up his world and his life in a way that made him realize he had never truly lived before. He hadn't deserved her, but he had been so lucky to have her. Any guy would have been. He was the one she had wanted though. He'd just wasted so much time not seeing it. What had he been thinking letting her slip through his fingers? He would forever regret the fact he had taken her for granted instead of being grateful for her love. If given a second chance, he would never waste a moment where they could be together again.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear as he leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, resting his head against hers.

"We…we nearly killed her," Chloe's voice pulled Matt's focus off of Gabby and back to what was going on in the room, and he sat back up, tightening his grip on Gabby's hand as if to make up for the decrease in contact. Was he imagining things or had there been in a shift in the girl's demeanor? She sounded less snarky and more emotional, almost as if she was realizing for the first time that she'd seriously hurt somebody.

"Yes, you did, and even though you didn't actually kill her, you did put her in this coma. What's more, you've probably changed her life forever," Camila replied. "Worst case is that she never wakes up. Eventually, as painful as it is, as much as it will mean that things are never okay for the three of us or Gabriela's brother again, our lives would have to move forward; the world will go on without her really in it. She'll spend the rest of her life lying in a bed in this hospital or some other facility. Maybe she'll be aware of what's going on around her. Maybe wherever her conscious is, it is and will be trying and failing to come back to her body. Maybe she'll be dreaming. Or maybe she's already gone and her body just hasn't gotten the message."

Matt felt the rage once again building the more Camila spoke. How could she even consider these to be real possibilities? She was Gabby's mother for goodness sakes. Gabby wasn't gone. She couldn't be. She was still in there somewhere. It wasn't something he believed. He knew it with every fiber of his being. He could feel it. He didn't understand how her parents' lives would be able to move forward if she didn't wake up. His wouldn't. For the past two months, he'd technically been alive, but the more time went on, the less alive he'd felt, and he knew it was because of Gabby's coma. There was no doubt in his mind that that's how he would spend the rest of his life in a world where Gabby never woke up. He'd simply be going through the motions, getting no meaning or joy out of anything; the only emotion he'd feel would be heartbreak. He'd be ruled by his shattered heart.

None of that mattered though because Gabby was going to wake up. She was too strong and had too much to live for, for there to be any other outcome. It was something else that he knew with every fiber of his being. He wanted to yell that at Camila, point out that Gabby didn't need the negativity, to do whatever was necessary to make her acknowledge that Gabby waking up was the only possible outcome.

"Gabby's going to –" he started to say angrily as he glared at the woman who he still believed was his future mother-in-law. She gave him a glare back though, one that made him stop in his tracks. He got the message. This wasn't about whether or not Camila believed Gabby would wake up. Although he wasn't sure what her thoughts actually were on the topic. It was about teaching the girl who stood before them a lesson. The possibility that Gabby could really already be gone was part of that. He didn't like it, but if it made that girl suffer with guilt, he could live with it. He'd just have to explain everything to Gabby later.

"You know they told us that Gabriela was in a coma, they also told us that most comas don't last more than four weeks. We're well past twice that now. It's not a comforting thought. When you think about it, it's actually quite scary. You can't help but worry that it means that she's not going to wake up," Camila continued while Matt tried to turn her out. Not wanting to hear her talk about Gabby not waking up, he stared lovingly at his girl, pretending it was just the two of them in the room. Meanwhile, Camila continued to speak.

"And if she does wake up, we have no idea what she'll be like. They gave us a bunch of pamphlets on electrocution, and trust me, there are some really bad emotional and psychological side effects," Camila explained. "Never mind what she's going to have to deal with physically. Not just from the electrocution but from the impact as well. She's not paralyzed, but walking is going to be a struggle for her because moving her lower body will probably be painful. You see her pelvis was completely shattered and her left leg was severely broken. A cast and staying off of it weren't going to be enough. Neither injury could be trusted to heal on its own. She needed surgery to reconstruct her pelvis and to place a bunch of screws and other types of metal in her leg. Only that first night, the surgeons didn't have time to worry about it. As serious as those injuries were, they weren't going to kill her so they were ignored. By the time they were able to go back in and do something about her broken bones, it was too late. They did what they could, inserting screws and plates and everything else that's holding her leg together, but permanent damage had already been done. She's expected to have reduced mobility. She's guaranteed to experience chronic pain. What that means for her career and quality of life, I don't know. Can't imagine it'll be good for either though. It's going to be another constant reminder of the accident, something else that she's going to have to live with for the rest of her life.

"So that's what you did to her. You and that boyfriend of yours. You've either changed the course of her life or ended it and ruined ours, and all for what? Some joy ride? Some chance to feel more grown up than you were? To feel cool? Tell me," Camila demanded, her voice getting louder as she said the last two words.

"Ryan dreamed of driving the Lamborghini. His parents made clear that he wouldn't be allowed near it anytime soon. That when he got his license he could take out the Beemer, but the Lamborghini was his dad's baby, and he was never going to drive it. Then his parents weren't there, and no one was watching us. It was like we could do whatever we wanted. It was his chance. It was late and no one would be out and we thought we were invincible. It wasn't even the alcohol. We'd barely had any at that point. We figured it would be fun," Chloe reluctantly explained, her voice barely a whisper. "It was fun at first. We were laughing and joking and drinking and having a great time. Then I saw lights out of the corner of my eye. I remember yelling at him to look out, and the next thing I knew we hit another car. I didn't see what happened to it though. I had no idea that it or your daughter was in that bad shape. You have to believe me. At that point, it wasn't fun anymore. All I could think about was how much trouble I would be in if my parents found out. The fact that I'd snuck out was going to be the least of my problems. Ryan was just going on and on about how his dad was going to kill him if there was any damage to the Lamborghini. It got worse when we made it back to the house and actually looked at the front of the car. I'd never seen anyone have a nervous breakdown before. I didn't know what to do so I just left him there and went home and tried to forget that any of it had happened. Then the cops showed up at school the next morning, and it really wasn't fun anymore."

Then for the first time since entering the room, Chloe stepped towards Gabby of her own volition, stopping when she was a few inches from the bed and directly across from Matt. Looking down at the woman before her, she realized her eyes had started to water.

"I'm so sorry," she said as a tear fell down her cheek. "I…I didn't mean to hurt you, and I haven't thought about you or what your family must be going through. I didn't know, and I just wanted to forget. I didn't want you to be real or hurt or anything like that. I hope you get better. I really do, and not just for my sake. I really am sorry."

"Come on Chloe. Let's give them some privacy," Lisa interjected before turning her attention towards Camila. "Thank you for this."

Camila simply nodded and then watched the two of them walk out, surprised to see Chloe turn around and give them all one more sorrowful look.

"I think that went well," she said once the door had closed behind the two Devers women.

"Do you think that was real or an act to make everyone think you'd gotten through to her? How she was acting did change rather suddenly," Ramon pointed out. He'd been silent for so long that Matt had almost forgotten he was in the room.

"I want to believe it was real," Camila simply replied.

"Why did you bring her here? She had no right to be anywhere near Gabby," Matt couldn't help himself.

"I wanted her to understand what she did. When we ran into them earlier, it was clear that Gabriela wasn't real to that awful girl. I wanted to make her real. I wanted her to care about what she'd done to my child," Camila replied as tears started streaming down her own face. She had finally given in to the emotion of facing the girl, of walking her through every awful detail of what had happened to Gabriela. "I think I need some air."

"Let's go for a walk," Ramon said as he got up and put his arm around his wife, and they left the room, allowing Matt to turn his attention back towards Gabby.

"Hey. I'm sorry you had to subjected to that. You should never have had to deal with her. I meant it when I told your mother that that thing has no right to be anywhere near you. Something tells me you're a bigger person than I am and were okay with being used to teach her a lesson. You deserve so much more though. Seeing her up and about and ungrateful and just concerned with how her life's been impacted was just a reminder of how wrong this all is. You should be up and happily living your life, becoming an amazing firefighter. Because you are Gabby. I know I didn't show it very well, especially towards the end, but you are great, and I'm so proud of you. Scared to death of something happening to you but always proud.

"If one of us had to end up here, it should have been me. If one of us deserves it, it's me. After everything I've done. Pushing you away. Deciding that it was a good idea to listen to Severide and…" Matt's voice trailed off. He couldn't bring himself to admit to Gabby that he'd slept with another woman. Not now. Not when she was like this. Maybe not ever. What if telling her became a reason for her to not want to come back to them? He couldn't risk that. He knew she's be deeply hurt by the admission just like he would have been deeply hurt if she'd used someone else to try to stop hurting over him. Regaining himself after a moment, he continued. "And well, everything. I deserve to hurt, to suffer. You don't."

* * *

" _What did you want to talk about Woods? And why did you want to talk back here?" Gabby heard Matt ask someone as she stood out of sight in the doorway to Molly's back room._

" _Gabriela Dawson," another man who Gabby presumed to be Woods replied._

" _Dawson, what do you mean?" Matt seemed to still be confused and so was Gabby for that matter._

" _What's the deal there? Most firefighters don't get reassigned after their candidacy so why is she? Is there some sort of problem?" Woods clarified._

 _Gabby was wondering why this man was asking about her when it suddenly hit her. Woods as in Captain Woods of Truck 6. If she was right, this man was going to be her commanding officer in a couple of weeks. That would explain why he was looking for information on her, but the realization made her tense. There was no story for why she was leaving 81 beyond the truth and that made her uneasy. This conversation had the potential to go very wrong._

" _There's no problem. Just time for her to move on," Matt answered simply._

" _What does that mean?" Captain Woods asked but instead of pausing for Matt to reply he continued. "Look Chief Boden's said good things about her, and maybe it's all true. I don't want to assume the worst, but the whole thing seems odd. She's going to be on my truck in a few weeks, and I have a right to know what type of firefighter I'm getting. The last –"_

" _Look Dawson's a good firefighter with a lot of potential. She has good instincts and cares a lot about everyone we help. I'm not going to deny that there were some rough spots with going from PIC to candidate, but I think that's understandable. You're gonna be lucky to have her on Truck 6," Matt cut the captain off._

" _What rough spots?" Woods asked._

" _Honestly, it wasn't easy for her to step back and have to start at the bottom again. She's stubborn and would sometimes would act on her own or forget that she was just there to learn. I'm pretty sure it was always because she thought she was doing the right thing and helping though," Matt explained. "She's learned a lot though, and she has gotten better about obeying orders. And you know what, personally, I'd rather have someone like that than someone who doesn't care."_

" _I would too, but I still don't get why she's transferring," Woods replied. "Were there other people at 51 who had a problem with it or her? We had Nia Bragg on 6 for a few years. Everything was perfectly fine, but I know some houses don't react well to female firefighters. Was that the issue?"_

" _No. We're not like that. She gets a long great with all the guys. Owns this place with two of them and our PIC, whose also her best friend. Everyone at 51 loves her, and when she leaves, everyone's gonna miss her. She's part of the family there. Has been for years," Matt said. "That's why when her original candidate spot fell through, Chief Boden arranged for her to be assigned to Truck 81."_

" _That's why I don't get why she's transferring. She'd been there for years so the house itself shouldn't be an issue for her. It's not like you've typically just served as a stop for candidates so that's not a reason for her to transfer. So if she got along with everyone fine and wasn't an issue on Truck, then it just doesn't make sense why she's transferring," Captain Woods continued to poke, making Gabby think that maybe this guy should have been a detective instead of a firefighter. She wasn't sure how much longer Matt would dodge, especially since he wasn't thrilled with her idea to continue keeping their relationship a secret._

" _She's leaving for personal reasons," Matt said. "If she wants you to know about why, she'll tell you."_

" _You just said that everything was fine for her at 51," Woods countered, either not getting the hint or choosing to ignore it. Gabby wasn't sure which._

" _I'm in love with her, okay," Matt burst out. Frustration was evident in his voice, but Gabby could also hear the joy those words brought to him in his voice. "Have been for a long time."_

" _So you what arranged for a transfer so you could ask her out?" Woods asked after a couple moments of awkward silence. It was clear that the possibility that they were actually a couple hadn't crossed his mind._

 _Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Gabby tried to will Matt to answer the way she wanted him to and keep their relationship from her new captain._

" _No," Matt said, making Gabby's heart sink. "We've been together for a while. Since she was still PIC on Ambulance 61. Before she started at the Fire Academy. That's why she's transferring. Gabby serving under me for a year was one thing, but long term, we can't be on the same Truck and get married. For our relationship to move forward, she has to leave Truck 81."_

 _Gabby had to resist the urge to drop the glasses she was holding, run out there, and yell at Matt. After everything they'd talked about earlier, how could he do this? Sure, they hadn't agreed to definitely postpone formally announcing their engagement, but she thought Matt had agreed to at least consider it. He'd said they could talk about it more in therapy after all. Now he'd gone ahead and done exactly what she'd said she didn't want him to do. It felt like a betrayal. But would she make things worse by going off on him about it in front of her new captain? Maybe. That's why it was best to stay on the sidelines for now and confront him about this once he had finished his conversation with Captain Woods. It was feeling like an eternity though._

" _I…I don't know what to say," Woods finally said. "Does anyone know?"_

" _Family and close friends, but if you mean does the department know, then no," Matt responded. "Look, I know it's unconventional but there isn't anything wrong with it. We weren't trying to pull a fast one or anything. It's just our personal lives aren't anybody's business."_

" _If you truly believe that, then why not just come out and say that that was why she was transferring," Woods asked._

" _Because of the way you looked at me when I told you we were together, like you weren't sure what to think. Gabby's been worried that people weren't going to believe that she got where she is on the merits, and I'm beginning to understand why," Matt explained._

" _I wasn't trying to imply that I didn't think she didn't. I'll reserve my judgement until I see her in action," Woods replied._

" _Good because she has gotten here on the merits. She's going to be an asset to you. You can ask anyone at 51, and they'll tell you the same thing," Matt said. "Gabby's working tonight so she's around here somewhere. You should stick around and meet her."_

 _It sounded like Captain Woods said something, but Gabby couldn't make out what it was. Then she heard Matt's voice again._

" _Woods, one more thing," he was speaking louder than before. Woods must have started walking away. "I'm trusting you with my fiancée's life. To have her back and make sure she's treated right. I know the job. I know the risks, but if anything happens to Gabby, you better have done everything you could, or I will make sure you regret it."_

 _As far as Gabby could tell Captain Woods didn't respond and Matt wasn't saying anything else. After a minute or so, she fully opened the door, emerging from the back room. Matt was walking back towards the bar, but when the door closed behind her, he must have heard it. He suddenly stopped and turned around, a smile forming on his face as he laid eyes on her._

" _Matt," she called._

" _Hey. You want me to –" he said as he started walking back towards her. Only he cut himself off this time. He must have noticed the angry glare on her face as his tone suddenly shifted and he seemed unsure. "Gabby."_

" _How could you?" she asked angrily as did her best to storm past him while being slightly hampered by the glasses._

" _How could I what?" he ran up to her and put a hand on her shoulder only she shrugged it off. "Baby, what's wrong?"_

" _I heard everything you said to Captain Woods," Gabby explained. "How could you do that to me?"_

" _Gabby, I –" Matt started to say but Gabby interrupted him._

" _I told you that I thought it was better if we waited to tell people about us. I thought you at least were going to consider it. Instead you just disregarded it the first chance you got," she didn't even try to keep the hurt and disappointment out of her voice. "And you did it the worst way possible. He's about to be my boss and who knows what he thinks of me now. And you threatened him. Do you think anyone else on Truck 6's fiancée has promised to make him regret it if something happens to them? You get to stay at 51. None of this is going to matter to the people there, but what about me? I'm the one who's going to have to deal with the consequences. This is going to be my work environment, and for all I know you've sabotaged it."_

" _I wasn't trying to – " Matt once again tried and failed to get a word in._

" _You're my fiancée Matt. How I feel about something is supposed to matter to you even if you don't agree with it. It clearly didn't though. How would you feel if I went and told something private about you to Boden?" the more she spoke, the madder she got._

" _I do care about how you feel. I always have. I always will. I wasn't trying to hurt you or upset you," Matt finally got the chance to defend himself. "I tried to get out of that without telling him about us because I knew it was what you wanted and we hadn't decided anything one way or the other, but he wasn't giving up. He could tell I was dodging, and he wasn't going to stop questioning why you were transferring until he got a real explanation. I didn't know what to do other than tell him the truth. What was I supposed to do Gabby? Lie?"_

" _You could have stuck with the fact that it was personal or tried evading more or said yes when he asked if you were going to ask me out," Gabby insisted._

" _Evading more would have just made him more suspicious. He was thinking that there some sort of problem with you. Either that you weren't cut out to be a firefighter or you couldn't get along with people. If he just went on thinking that, it wouldn't have been good for you," Matt told her. "And I wasn't threatening him. I just wanted to make sure he knew that the most important person in the world was going to be starting on his Truck."_

" _I'm not the most important person in the world," Gabby retorted._

" _You're the most important person in my world at least," he once again put his hand on her shoulder._

 _As angry as she was, Gabby's heart melted a little at those words. She knew he meant them. She knew the possibility of something happening to her terrified him. Still, it didn't change the fact that he was out of line. He couldn't just sweet talk his way out of this._

" _I need to get back to work," she said curtly. If it wasn't for the glasses she was holding, she would have thrown his hand off her shoulder, but she couldn't. Instead she gave him one more glare before backing away, moving fast enough that he had no choice but to let go. With that she headed back behind the bar. Once there, still fuming, she started harshly putting the glasses down on the shelf._

" _Something wrong Dawson?" Shay enquired, seemingly having noticed the shift in her demeanor._

" _Everything's fine," she snapped back._

" _Yeah right," Shay's tone indicated that she didn't believe her._

" _Gabby," she heard Matt behind her. His voice sounded cautious._

" _Not now Matt," she didn't bother turning around._

" _I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to upset you," Matt apologized._

" _You just figured I wouldn't find out or something," Gabby retorted. She wasn't ready to hear him out._

" _You know that's not it," Matt replied._

" _Okay, what's going on? What did Casey do?" Shay asked at the same exact time._

" _He told my new captain that we're engaged and then promises to make him regret it if anything happens to me," Gabby said as she turned around to face her friend, but in her anger, she forgot that she hadn't yet told Shay about her transfer._

" _And I told you I didn't see another option," Matt once again tried to defend himself._

" _You know what Matthew I'm not having this conversation right now," Gabby barked._

" _Gabby," he said as he reached for her._

" _Don't," Gabby pulled her hand away and shook her head._

" _Wait," Shay finally spoke. "New captain. What's going on?"_

 _Gabby sighed. This wasn't when or how she wanted to tell Shay. She hadn't even figured out what she was going to say to her. Now she was just going to have to wing it._

" _You know that when Boden agreed to let me on 81, it was only supposed to be for my candidacy?" Gabby asked. She had to imagine that Shay knew this, but since they hadn't discussed it since she'd arrived in this reality, she wasn't certain._

" _Yeah," Shay tentatively answered before a look of realization dawned on her face. "That was about a year ago, wasn't it? It's time?"_

" _Yeah," Gabby replied._

" _Chief first let us know it was coming a few weeks ago. Gave us the details this morning," Matt interjected._

" _Matt," Gabby shot him another glare._

" _I knew there was something you weren't saying," Shay said. "How long?"_

" _Four shifts," Gabby replied. "I'm going to Truck 6 out of Firehouse 13."_

" _In the Loop?" Shay asked._

" _Yeah," Gabby replied. "Well, at least assuming Matt didn't just ruin it for me."_

" _Gabby," Matt tried again._

" _I don't want to hear it," Gabby said angrily. "Why don't you just go home?"_

" _Casey," Shay interjected. "I may not know exactly what happened, but it sounds like Dawson needs a little space right now. Why don't you give it to her?"_

" _I know you're on her side, but I can't fix this if I can't talk to her," Matt argued._

" _Maybe I don't want you to fix it," Gabby countered as she rolled her eyes._

" _You don't mean that," Matt insisted._

 _Did she though? Long-term of course not. It's not like she would even contemplate calling off the engagement over this, and she knew they needed to talk it out. That was a lesson she'd learned from everything that happened last fall, and one she had no intention of ever forgetting. She loved him too much to forget it, and in this case, deep down she knew his heart had been in the right place and he hadn't meant any harm. She wasn't ready to acknowledge that though. He had done something he knew she wouldn't approve of, something she had just asked him not to do, and that felt like a betrayal. He had to pay for it for at least a little while before she forgave him. Let him suffer the consequences tonight and maybe tomorrow. Then she'd hear him out and make sure he heard her out. That was a good plan._

" _Let me talk to her. You know she'll come to you when she's ready," Shay told Matt._

" _You know I'd never intentionally do something to hurt her," Matt told Shay, but Gabby got the feeling he was really saying it to remind her of that. She knew it though._

" _I do. Now go," Shay ordered._

 _Matt stood up and turned his attention towards Gabby._

" _I'll be over there," Matt pointed towards an empty table near the door. "I love you."_

 _With that he walked away, leaving the three women by themselves._

" _Okay, where to start," Shay mused. A few seconds later she spoke again. "Why didn't you tell me it was time for you to transfer? This has been in the works for weeks, and I had no idea."_

" _Technically, it's been in the works for a year," Gabby tried to lighten the mood with a joke before turning more serious. "I don't really know. I guess when Boden first pointed out to Matt and me that my candidacy was almost up and asked us to start thinking about where I'd like to be transferred, I figured nothing had really changed. Sure, the fact that I wasn't going to be at 51 forever became more real, but I didn't know when I'd be transferring. What was I supposed to say? At some point I'm transferring off of Truck 81 and leaving 51. Everyone already knew that."_

" _Okay, I can maybe buy that for why you didn't say anything weeks ago, but what about this morning when I asked why Boden called you and Casey in right before shift ended?" Shay followed up. "I knew something up with the way you said it was nothing, but why do that instead of just tell me?"_

" _I wasn't really sure how to say it. I mean even though I'm not on ambo anymore, it's been you and me together at 51 for so long. That's not going to be the case anymore. I didn't want to upset you. Figured I could take some time and come up with a good way to tell you," Gabby replied._

" _Bull," Shay said as she arched her eyeball. "You know I'd be happy for you and Casey. Sure I'm going to miss you and 51 won't be the same, but I just want you to be happy. Besides, once you guys are actually able to plan the wedding, I can finally start my maid of honor duties."_

" _What makes you think you're my maid of honor?" Gabby teased, her conversation with Shay helping to push her anger with Matt to the back of her mind. Of course as far as she knew, she hadn't asked Shay yet. Not that she would have seriously considered anyone else._

" _Oh come on, who else would it be?" Shay replied._

" _I have lots of people to choose from," Gabby retorted. "Matt's sister, Laura, Isabelle, Brett."_

" _Casey's not exactly close with his sister," Shay countered._

" _They've been back in each other's lives for two years now, and what better way to build that relationship than for her to play such a big role in our wedding," Gabby argued._

" _Your relationship with Laura is based on the fact that she's your brother's wife. She's family, and I know you two get along well, but that's not a close friend," Shay continued._

" _She's been in my life since I was thirteen. Is practically the big sister I don't actually have," Gabby pointed out._

" _That's because that's how your family works. Would you be friends if she wasn't family though?" Shay didn't pause to let Gabby make a counterargument this time. "As for Isabelle. You two share an ex so that could make it a little awkward, and isn't she living it in DC now? Might make it difficult to do all the maid of honor duties."_

" _Wouldn't be awkward at all. I gave her my blessing to date Pete, and it's not like he's the one I'm marrying. Hell, even when he and I were dating, the thought of marrying him never even crossed my mind. Don't think it crossed hers either," Gabby once again tried to shoot down Shay's arguments. "And it's 2015. As long as she's here to look at dresses and for the shower, bachelorette party, and especially wedding and has time to help with the planning and write a speech, the fact that she's in DC working for a Congressman doesn't matter."_

" _And Brett," Shay almost laughed at this one. "You've barely known her for a year. Pretty sure it's been less. You really expect me to believe that you're going to pick that over your best friend of over six years? Besides, leave it to her and your bachelorette party is going to be something like a fancy dinner and then a repeat of your bridal shower."_

" _Of course you're my maid of honor," Gabby didn't even try to come up with a counterargument for Brett. "Could have at least given me the change to actually ask you though."_

" _Then ask," Shay suggested._

" _Shay, you're my best friend, and you've believed in Matt and me since before I ever did. You saw something between us the first time you met us, something that it would take us years to see. It would mean the world to me if you'd be at my side when I marry Matt. There's no one I'd rather have up there. So what do you say? Will you be my maid of honor?" Gabby asked._

" _Of course," Shay squealed before getting up and leaning across the bar to give Dawson a hug. Once the two women broke their embrace and Shay sat back down, she turned more serious. "Don't think that gets you out of telling me the real reason you didn't want to tell me about your transfer this morning."_

" _I don't know other than I didn't want to talk about it with anyone. It wasn't you," Gabby replied. "I guess if I'm honest with myself, if I didn't talk about it, I could try to pretend it wasn't happening. It's not like I really want to leave 51."_

" _Then why are you?" Trina asked, startling Gabby. Despite her excitement earlier over finally meeting Shay's girl, in light of her fight with Matt, she'd practically forgotten that the woman was there._

" _Because of Matt and me," Gabby said. Only Trina just started at her as if that didn't answer the question so she continued. "The CFD doesn't allow married couples to serve in the same company."_

" _What's a company?" Trina asked._

" _How do I explain this?" Gabby said before taking a minute to contemplate just that only Shay cut in with an explanation._

" _You know how my partner Brett and I work on the same ambulance on the same shift?" she asked._

" _Yeah," Trina replied._

" _Well, that makes us a company. It's basically the firefighters or paramedics on a rig," Shay explained. "So because Dawson and Casey are both on Truck 81, they're part of the same company."_

" _And you can't do that once you're married, but you can now I assume or you wouldn't be there. So why not wait until you get married to transfer?" Trina followed up._

" _It's not that simple," Gabby replied. "The CFD doesn't know Matt and I are together, and technically, there aren't any rules about a dating or engaged couple serving in the same company so we're currently in more of a gray area. That said, I don't think the department would be very happy if they knew about us, and if we were to suddenly show up one day and say hey we got married and can't work together anymore, it wouldn't look right. I'm pretty sure they'd have a big problem with that. So that leaves me with three options. Transfer, spend the rest of my life hiding my relationship with Matt, or end things. That third one isn't even a real option. No job, nothing really, would be worth losing him. No matter how mad I am with him, I'm don't think I could ever be truly happy without him," that wasn't really true. She didn't think it. Having ended their engagement in her original reality and then having spent a few months trying to pretend it was the right decision, she knew it was true. Wasn't something she could admit though; she couldn't risk having to explain it._

" _So that leaves two options, and even then, it's a really easy choice," she continued. "As much as I love 51 and don't want to leave, I love Matt more. I want to marry him. I want not just the life we've built, but the life we've been planning on having. I want to be his wife. I want to have his children. That's what I choose, and I know I'm making the right choice. It's just 51 is like a second home and a second family to me. How do I know that's still going to be the case? What if I leave and everything changes?"_

" _Of course things are going to change," Shay squeezed Gabby's hand. "They're good changes though. You're going to get married. You're going to have a family. You're going to work with all new people and probably make a bunch of new friends. For all I know we're the ones who should be worried because you'll wind up liking them better than us."_

" _No I won't, and we don't know what type of situation I'm going to wind up in. This could be Austin all over again except I'll actually be there instead of getting booted before starting," Gabby pointed out._

" _For starters, I refuse to believe that most houses are like Austin and most firefighters are like Welch. We've worked some calls with 13 over the years. They always seemed nice. And I'm sure Boden would have tried to step in if you were going somewhere awful. Your transfer has to go through him this time. That wasn't the case when you first finished at the fire academy," Shay said. "And as for everything changing with all of us, that's only going to happen if you let it. I can't see the guys letting the fact that you won't be working at 51 change the friendships you've built, and I know I won't. Best friends for life. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not." Shay reassured her._

" _Good because I do like it. I'm going to miss having you around so much," Gabby replied._

" _Awww Dawson, you're making me all sad now," Shay teased. "Tell you what. Night after you're first shift at 13, girl's night. Just you and me doing whatever you want to do. You can tell me all about what the guys are 13 are like, how wonderful the place is, and how no one's as awesome as me."_

" _Deal," Gabby smiled._

" _Assuming that after twenty four hours apart, you can manage to pull yourself away from Casey that is," Shay continued to tease._

" _Oh, like you've been much better lately," Gabby teased right back as she grabbed a towel from behind the bar and swatted it at Shay._

" _At least we have the excuse that this is still all new, isn't that right Trina?" Shay replied._

" _Yup," Trina agreed. Great now she had the two of them to go after her together._

" _Dawson?" a man sounded slightly unsure of himself as he approached the bar. The voice was familiar though. In fact, Gabby was pretty sure this was the voice she had heard talking to Matt earlier, meaning the African American man in his mid-forties now standing before her was Captain Woods. Probably best to not let him know she'd overheard though._

" _Yes," she replied, trying to sound equally unsure._

" _I'm Jerome Woods, captain of Truck 6. I wanted to introduce myself before you start. Lieutenant Casey and Chief Boden speak well of you, but I hope you don't mind. I like to see for myself," Captain Woods explained._

" _Thanks for stopping by. It's nice to meet you. Can I get you something to drink Captain?" Gabby replied. She hoped that was an appropriate question for her soon to be boss. Then again it was a bar and she was the bartender._

" _Sure. I'll take whatever you have on tap," Captain Woods replied. He paused a minute while Gabby grabbed a glass and poured his beer. Once she'd handed it to him, he continued. "You were at 51 a while, weren't you?"_

" _Yeah. I was there as a paramedic there, the PIC, for about five years. Then I've done my candidacy there for the past year," Gabby answered._

" _Dawson's awesome. We're going to miss her," Shay piped in._

" _Sorry Captain," Gabby wasn't sure how he was going to react to Shay's intrusion. "This is Leslie Shay. She was my partner back when I was on ambo so feel free to take what she says with a grain of salt. And this is her girlfriend Trina."_

" _Nice to meet you," Captain Woods addressed the two women, who were sitting to his right before turning his attention back to Gabby. "I have to admit that I was surprised to hear you were leaving 51. I can't think of many candidates who've transferred as soon as their candidacies were complete. My understanding is that's what you'll be doing though."_

" _Yeah," Gabby said. He was clearly fishing for explanation. Given that Matt had already told him the truth, she had no choice but to do so as well. He didn't know that she knew though. This felt like some sort of test of her honesty. "There's something I guess you should know. I just hope you won't judge me."_

" _Depends on what it is," Captain Woods told her honestly._

" _When I first started at 51 as PIC, Lieutenant Casey and I, well he wasn't lieutenant back then so I guess just Casey and I, quickly became really close friends. Somewhere along the way it turned into something more, and we eventually started dating and then got engaged," Gabby explained._

" _I take it the department doesn't know. They wouldn't have placed you on Truck 81 if they did," Captain Woods commented._

" _No, they don't know yet. They'll find out eventually though. It's not like it's something we'll be able to keep secret once we're married," Gabby pointed out._

" _Hence the transfer," Captain Woods observed._

" _Hence the transfer," Gabby agreed. "Look Captain. I want you to know that I've worked hard for this. I didn't expect and as far as I know, I didn't receive special treatment because my lieutenant was also my fiancée. If anything, I think Matt was harder on me because of it. As much as he's supported my becoming a firefighter, I know it also scares him, and I get it. When I was PIC, it wasn't always easy to have to stand outside, knowing that the man I love was risking his life in a burning building. And he knows all the ways in which things can go wrong. Not that he hasn't always done everything to prepare any candidate, but I think with me, our personal relationship gave him extra incentive to make sure I had all the knowledge and skills needed to survive. I'd like to think I'm a damn good firefighter in part because of it."_

" _Thank you for being honest with me about that. How all of that was handled in 51 is Boden's issue. Not mine. Although if you don't mind, I'd like to reserve my judgement of your firefighting abilities until I see you in action," Captain Woods replied._

" _Understood," Gabby bit her lip nervously. Ever since she'd heard him mention Nia Bragg, she'd wondered what had happened there. Truck 6 had had a female firefighter before. That much was obvious from what he'd told Matt, but why wasn't the woman still there now? Had things really been fine like he'd told Matt or was that just how he saw things. Was it appropriate to ask? After a moment, she decided that didn't matter it if was or not, it was better to prepare herself for whatever situation she walking into. "Can I ask you something Captain?"_

" _Sure," Captain Woods replied._

" _I wasn't originally supposed to do my candidacy on Truck 81. Boden had originally said he wouldn't take me. He was concerned about my serving under Matt given our relationship, but he never told anyone that was why. That's how they were able to place me on 81 once he changed his mind. That's not really the point though," Gabby rambled on. "I was originally placed on Truck 66 out of 105, but that fell through. The lieutenant there had an issue with women firefighters and he made sure to get me out of there before I even started._

" _I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. How could I when I don't even know you? But the experience has left me a little nervous about going to a new house and what it's going to be like. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is what are your thoughts on female firefighters? Have you had one at Firehouse 13?"_

" _I don't know what exactly happened to you in regards to 105, but I do know that things can be rough for female firefighters, and I'm sorry for what you had to go through," Captain Woods said. "I get that firefighting can be considered a boy's club and that it can be a change the first time a house gets a female firefighter, but I'd like to think I'm open minded. Plus, you won't be our first. I've seen female firefighters in action, not just the one who used to serve under me, and many of them can damn well do the job. As long as you can, I won't have a problem with your gender, and I won't let any of my guys either. Most of them were there when we had Bragg anyways, and other than Byrd hitting on her, which after a while she decked him for, everything went fine."_

" _She's not there anymore though?" Gabby asked even though she knew the answer._

" _No, she's not," Captain Woods replied. There was something different in the tone of his voice._

" _Why not?" Gabby couldn't help following up._

" _Did you know Nia Bragg?" Woods answered with his own question._

" _No," Gabby shook her head._

" _She was assigned to Truck 6 straight out of the Academy. I'm not going to pretend that it didn't take some getting used to. Not just that she was a female firefighter, but for the first six months she was there, she was the only woman at the firehouse. We'd had female paramedics before and since but not when she first started," Captain Woods started to explain._

" _That's never easy no matter how great the guys are. I was the first woman on our shift at 51, and before Shay, I'd always been the only woman," Gabby couldn't help interrupting._

" _Then you understand that there's an adjustment period. Not that I'm saying it's right; in hindsight, we could have been more welcoming those first shifts, but it's there," Captain Woods continued. "After a while, the fact that she was a woman stopped being something that we noticed or at least that mattered. She just became one of us. She was a hell of a firefighter and a friend to most of us. She was at 13 for two and a half years. Then she got sick. Inoperable brain tumor. Died six months after being diagnosed. That was a little less than two years ago."_

" _I'm sorry," Gabby wasn't really sure what else to say._

" _Thanks," Captain Woods told her._

* * *

 _Gabby was sweeping the apparatus floor lost in thought. It was almost time to make lunch, but they weren't quite there yet. Chief had announced her impending departure at roll call that morning, even though including today, she still had four shifts left. No one had come up to talk to her about it since then, but she'd felt the guys eyes on her occasionally all morning. She wasn't sure what to make of it or why it had become the elephant in the room._

 _She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of one of the garage doors opening. Looking up, she saw 61 starting to back into its spot, returning from a mid-morning call. Even though she continued to sweep, she couldn't help feeling a wave of nostalgia as her old ambulance came to a stop, probably the result of her departure creeping ever closer. Despite the nature of the job, she'd had a lot of good times on that ambo with Shay and even with Ralph Copeland, her partner during her first eight months at 51. From her spot on the other side of the floor, she watched Brett emerge from the driver's seat and race off towards the doors that led inside before Shay emerged around the back of the ambulance, bounding towards her._

" _Hey," Shay called as she approached._

" _What's up with her?" Gabby motioned to the door the young blonde had just raced through to indicate who she was referring to._

" _Not really sure. We were restocking at Med and all of a sudden she was all about getting back here so she could tell Cruz she loved him," Shay said as she threw an arm around Dawson._

" _Shay, I'm trying to sweep here," Gabby laughed._

" _So?" Shay retorted._

" _Kind of hard to with your arm there," Gabby pointed out._

" _Sorry," Shay removed her arm, allowing Gabby to keep sweeping. "You're still mad at Casey, aren't you? You seemed to be trying to avoid him before Brett and I got called out."_

" _Yeah. I don't want to be. He only had a construction job in the morning yesterday so we were both home later. I wanted to forgive him, but I guess I wasn't ready. Every time he tried to apologize, I just shot him down. Not that the apartment's huge or anything, but I basically spent the day trying to avoid him," Gabby admitted. "It sucks, but every time I think about what he said to Captain Woods, I get mad all over again."_

" _You know we never really got to talk about what happened the other night. Once Captain Woods showed up, we pretty much just talked to him for the rest of the night. I still don't even know what exactly happened beyond the fact that Matt told Woods you two were together. Why is that a problem?" Shay asked._

" _Because I didn't want people to know, and Matt knew that. He just didn't care," Gabby said angrily._

" _I don't get it. Why wouldn't you want people to know about you and Casey?" Shay queried._

" _You know how hard it is for female firefighters. Ever since I got into firefighter program, my career's been an uphill battle. What are people going to think when they found out I'm sleeping with my lieutenant?" Gabby calmed down slightly as she explained things to Shay._

" _You and Casey were together before you became a firefighter. It's not like you had sex with him just to get on Truck 81 or stay there," Shay pointed out. "Anyone who knows the timeline is going to know that."_

" _Favoritism. Nepotism. Protectiveness. There's plenty of ways to still say I got somewhere because of my relationship with Matt instead of earning it. Or that our personal relationship came before my training," Gabby argued._

" _I don't think nepotism applies to fiancées. I think it's more children or maybe siblings," Shay couldn't resist. "As for the rest of it, Captain Woods didn't seem to really care about you and Casey. He seemed perfectly willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."_

" _But Matt didn't know that when he spoke to Captain Woods," Gabby contended._

" _True, but why make an issue out of it when it turned out fine?" Shay poked._

" _We'd had the conversation that night before you and Trina got there. Not even a few hours later he was just ignoring everything I said. Yes, we didn't decide that we would definitely keep us secret for a while longer, but we agreed to discuss it again," Gabby insisted. "How would you feel if your feelings were just ignored the first chance Trina got? I think I at least deserve having him respect my position on something, even if he doesn't agree with it, until we can get on the same page."_

" _Is that what this is really about?" Shay asked._

" _What else would it be about?" Gabby wasn't following._

" _You leaving 51," Shay clarified only Gabby just looked at her blankly. "You don't want to. That's why you didn't tell me. Maybe it's why you can't forgive Casey?"_

" _What does my not wanting to leave have to do with my being mad at Matt? I meant what I told Trina the other day. When the choice is between Matt and 51, there's no contest. As much as I love you guys, I'll always choose Matt," Gabby said._

" _I know you will, but it's not really fair is it?" Shay pointed out. "You were the one who was originally told you couldn't work where you wanted to because of your relationship. You were the one who got bounced around, who is still getting bounced around, because of it. You're the one who has to leave your friends and coworkers behind and start fresh somewhere new. No one ever thought of letting you stay here and Casey transferring, did they? I get that he's the lieutenant, and he was on 81 first. He's the one with seniority and in the leadership position, and it's not like there's a ton of open lieutenant positions. It's easier to find an opening for you, for a firefighter, than for him, but you're the one who has to go somewhere else. He doesn't. He gets to keep the working relationships he's built. He'll get to keep spending every shift with your friends while you're going to be with strangers. He doesn't really loose anything in this arrangement while you're the one sacrificing for the sake of your relationship, for him."_

" _And the one thing I wanted him to sacrifice, he didn't," it was like a light went off in Gabby's head. She paused for a moment after the realization of what Shay was saying hit her, but when she continued her voice got both more emotional and more defensive. "My fears about what could happen when I leave 51 and people find about Matt and me are real. I didn't just make up everything I've gone through to justify not wanting to tell people about us. It's not something I only thought of because I wanted him to have to give something up. If it was about that, don't you think I would have come up with something better than not telling the world about us? That affects me too."_

" _I know sweetie. I'm not saying that you don't have reason to be worried about how people are going to see you once they know you're engaged to Casey or that you don't want people to know about the two of you because you want Casey to have to sacrifice something too," Shay insisted. "But it seems natural to me that somewhere deep down you might resent the fact that you're the only one who has to give things up. And regardless of why you wanted to wait to tell the world about your relationship, if you did, then he would have to give something up too, and it doesn't sound like he was really happy about it. That's understandable. If I were him, I'd want the world to know that you were mine too before some single guy at 13 starts hitting on you. Still, you're willingly giving up so much to be with him and the one thing you wanted him to give up for you, he wasn't eager to, and then he made sure he couldn't give it up. It seems to me like it's not so much that he could have hurt your career when he told Captain Woods about the two of you that you can't forgive. It's the fact when push came to shove, you don't think he was willing to sacrifice something for you."_

" _Maybe," Gabby sighed._

" _I know we're on shift, but I really think you should talk to him about all this. It's not like at this point, you have too much to worry about in terms of how your personal relationship is going to affect things here," Shay said._

 _Before Gabby could reply though, the bells went off, signaling a call._

 _Squad 3, Truck 81, Truck 6, Engine 51, Engine 13, Ambulance 61, Ambulance 74, Battalion 25. Warehouse Fire._

 _Gabby didn't pay attention long enough to hear the address. Since she wasn't the driver, she figured she didn't really need to know. Besides she was too distracted by her nervousness once she started hearing the companies listed out. It wasn't just 51 that got the call, but many of the companies from her new house, including her new truck, as well. This may well be her first impression._

* * *

 _Gabby felt the floor move below her as she and Hermann swept the middle of the third floor of the four-story warehouse they had been called to. Unfortunately, that wasn't a good sign. If she had to guess, she'd say the building was losing its stability and Boden would soon be ordering them out. Almost as if on cue, the Chief's voice came through her radio._

" _Time's up. I want everyone out now," he ordered._

" _Copy that," Hermann said into his radio. He was about ten feet in front of her and closer to the stairs. Turning around he quickly addressed her. "Come on Dawson."_

" _Right behind you," she replied as she turned around herself so that she could follow him to the exit._

 _She had only taken a few steps though when suddenly she heard a noise above her. Before she had time to react though the ceiling, or maybe it was the floor above, gave way, the falling debris knocking her down. She wound up on her back. Trying to sit up, she noticed that she couldn't get very far. Some heavy, scattered pieces of debris had landed on her legs, especially her left leg, pinning her in place. What's more she couldn't see Hermann; the rest of the debris had seemingly formed a wall a few feet in front of where she lay, a wall that was now between them._

" _Dawson, Dawson," she heard him frantically calling from the other side of the wall._

" _Hermann, I'm stuck," she called back._

" _What do you mean stuck?" he called back. She sensed he was trying to keep panic out of his voice though._

" _Part of the ceiling's on top of me. I can't move," she explained._

" _Hang on Dawson," Hermann tried reassuring her. Then she heard him talking into his radio. "Chief, we got a problem up here. The ceiling collapsed. Dawson and I got separated. She's trapped and can't move."_

" _How long's it going to take for you to dig your way through to her?" Boden's voice came through the radio._

 _Gabby could tell by the tone of his voice that Hermann's answer wasn't going to matter though. Whatever response he gave was going to be too much time. It wasn't safe enough to send the others in to help get her out faster, and she was too far from any window for someone to be able to get to her that way. So this was it. She was trapped, unable to move, with no way out as the fire raged on in a building that was on the verge of collapsing. She was going to die. That was all there was to it._

* * *

Author's Note: Despite the fighting and such, I really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Just a reminder that reviews are always welcome and appreciated.

Until next time.


	25. Chapter 25

Happy 2018 everybody : )

* * *

Chapter Twenty Five

" _I don't know Chief. The debris looks pretty thick, and I'm not sure I can lift it all," Gabby heard Hermann say into his radio from where she lay, pinned down and trapped on the other side of a debris wall._

" _Gabby, Gabby," Matt's frantic voice came through the radio before Boden had a chance to reply. She wanted to respond, to say something to him, but when she reached for her own radio, she found it didn't work. It must have bene damaged when the debris fell._

" _Hermann, there's no time. You need to get out of there. Building's coming down," Boden's voice finally came through the radio. Gabby could hear the emotion in his voice. This clearly wasn't an easy order to give, and she felt bad for him. If only she'd been a bit quicker, maybe he wouldn't have had to give it._

" _I can't do that Chief," Hermann replied._

" _Hermann, it's okay. Listen to him," Gabby instructed. She couldn't let him sacrifice himself in a futile attempt to save her._

" _Hermann, get out. I'm ordering you to leave the building," Boden radioed back._

 _In the background, Gabby could hear Matt screaming at someone to let him go. He'd clearly made it out of the building, but now she suspected all he wanted was to get back in and try to get to her. She hoped they'd be able to stop him even though she knew she'd be doing the same thing if their situations were reversed._

" _Hang on Dawson. I'm going to try to get through this," Hermann ignored the Chief and turned his attention back towards her._

" _Hermann, it's okay. Do what he says. I understand. Think of Cindy and the kids. You…you can't leave them. If you stay, you're just going to die here too. They don't deserve to have to have go through that. Think of all the things you're going to miss as they grow up. Think of Cindy raising five kids on her own. Go to them. Go to your family," Gabby wasn't sure she was sounding as calm as she wanted to, no as she needed to if she was going to convince Hermann to leave her behind. She was trying to keep the emotion and fear out of her voice, but the truth was she was scared. She didn't want to die. She wanted to get out of here and back to Matt. The thing was that didn't seem possible._

" _Just give Matt a message for me," she continued. "Tell him that I'm sorry for how I've been acting. That I know he meant well and wasn't trying to hurt me or upset me or anything. Make sure he knows that I forgive him, and that I'm sorry I didn't tell him that to his face when I had the chance. Tell him that I love him with everything I have and that nothing, not even death, could ever change that. Make sure he knows that he's the best thing that ever happened to me and that being his wife would have been the greatest honor of my life. I'm sorry I won't get experience it."_

" _Gabby, you can tell me all that later," Matt's voice suddenly said. It didn't sound like it was coming over the radio either. Was he in here?_

" _Matt?" she asked._

" _Yeah. I'm here. I'm getting you out of there baby," Matt replied._

" _No," she called back. This wasn't what she wanted. Matt was supposed to be safe outside not die in here with her. "You and Hermann need to get out of here now."_

" _Gabby, I love you, and I'm not leaving without you," Matt insisted. "It's your call whether you stay and help or leave. I'm not going to order you to stay, and I won't hold it against you if you do leave. Chief did order you to get out, and you do have a family to think about."_

 _He must have said that last part to Hermann. She didn't hear a response, but Gabby's gut told her that Hermann had chosen to stay. He had been arguing with her and Boden about it earlier after all._

" _Gabby," Matt's voice came through the debris a moment later. "If things start shifting towards you, let me know. I don't want to hurt you or trap you further. Just need to get enough of this out of the way so that I can get to you."_

" _Matt," she wanted to protest, convince him to get to safety._

" _I meant it Gabby. I'm not leaving you behind," Matt knew her too well. He wasn't even allowing her to get another word out. "If it comes down to it, I'd rather die in here with you than be out there and have to live without you."_

" _I don't want you to," she practically cried._

" _I know. I know, but this is the one time, I don't care what you think. I need you," Matt told her._

 _Having no idea what she could say to convince him, Gabby tried to think of something while waiting for Matt to be able to get to her or more likely death to overtake them both. Suddenly, after what felt like an eternity but couldn't be nearly that long given that she was still alive, she saw an opening emerge in the debris._

" _I think I can get through," Matt's voice was saying. "Not quite….Here let me try now."_

 _Gabby just stared at the hole, and before she knew it, Matt was squeezing his way through it. He didn't have his helmet on or his turnout coat. Just his turnout pants, short-sleeved polo, and SCBA mask, the latter of which she was grateful he hadn't taken off. Fortunately, they weren't near the fire at the moment._

" _Gabby, baby," Matt called as their eyes met for a brief moment before she noticed his shift as if he was scanning her._

" _It's just what's on my leg. Pretty sure it's broken. Otherwise, assuming we get out of here, I'm going to be pretty sore but okay," she reassured him._

" _Good," Matt simply replied as he made it to her. As soon as he was at her side, he tried to lift the debris that had pinned her down. When he couldn't do it, he was forced to change tactics. "Hang tight. This is gonna hurt."_

" _Arrrghh," Gabby screamed as Matt tried pushing the debris off of her. It was working too as slowly it moved until finally Matt was able to pull her out from under it. He scooped her up and carried her towards the opening he'd made._

" _I need you to crawl through that passage okay. I'll be right behind you," Matt told her as he placed her down._

 _Gabby simply nodded before doing what she had been told. It really hurt though, and she found she had to use her upper body to pull herself forward more than she normally would have. Still, she had no choice but to move forward. If she stopped, she'd be trapping Matt behind her, and that wasn't an option._

" _I've got you Dawson," Hermann said once she was far enough through for him to pull her the rest of way. He placed her down on the ground and then helped Matt make it out of the hole the two men had dug to get to her._

" _Can you stand?" Matt asked as he crouched beside her._

 _She tried to get up, only to find herself unable to swallow the cry of pain that emerged as soon as she put weight on her left leg, the one that had taken the brunt of the hit from the falling debris. Walking did not seem to be an option._

" _It's okay, I got you," Matt said as he once again scooped her up and carried her bridal style as he and Hermann made their way towards an exit._

 _As they were approaching the first floor, the fire getting closer and hotter, Gabby felt Matt wince as he held her. Looking down, she realized for the first time that he'd never put his turnout coat back on. The fire was too close, practically on his back. There was no way he wasn't getting burned._

" _I can try to walk," she offered, worried that he was moving slower and making this worse for himself because he was carrying her._

" _I'm good," Matt reassured her as he kept going. "You're in no condition to walk."_

" _I know you're getting burned Matt. You can't hide that from me. I'm just slowing you down," Gabby protested._

" _Well, then you're going to slow me down even more if I put you down so you can try to walk," Matt countered. "I saw and heard what happened when you tried to stand up earlier. There's no way you can walk, and I'm not leaving you behind."_

" _Just try to hurry," she instructed._

" _I think I see them. They're coming out," Gabby heard Mills call as they neared the entrance._

 _As quickly as they could, she and Matt emerged from the building with Hermann hot on their heels._

" _Oh thank God," Shay exclaimed as she raced towards them ahead of Brett and the gurney. Her face was stained with tears. At least that's what it looked like to Gabby when Shay was a few steps away. As soon as Shay reached them, she threw her arms around Gabby, pulling her into a tight hug. It was somewhat awkward though as Matt had yet to put her down. "What were you thinking getting trapped like that? You scare us all half to death."_

" _It's not like it was intentional," Gabby didn't miss a beat, but at that moment Brett arrived with the gurney._

" _Alright, let's get you two looked at," Shay said as she guided the couple towards the gurney, Gabby still in Matt's arms. When they got there, Matt finally put her down, only he didn't let go, keeping her in an embrace as he sat down next to her._

" _I love you," he said, clearly not noticing or maybe caring that all the firefighters and paramedics on scene could hear him. Gabby certainly didn't notice._

" _I love you too," she was barely able to get the words out before his lips crashed down on hers and his tongue was begging for access, which she gladly granted. Having thought that she was going to die just minutes ago, Gabby couldn't help basking in the feel of his lips on hers, of them moving in perfect rhythm with hers, and of his tongue sliding into her mouth and finding her own. For a few minutes, she forgot where they were and what had happened, even stopped noticing the pain in her leg, and simply enjoyed the fact that she was still able to make out with the love of her life._

" _Mmmm Hmmm," the sound of Shay clearing her throat brought Gabby back to reality, forcing her to break away from Matt._

" _As much as I'm sure everyone here is enjoying the show," Shay winked. "You both need to be checked out."_

" _Oh shut up," Gabby said before sticking her tongue out at her best friend. Matt meanwhile had shifted slightly so that he was facing Shay instead of her, and instead of having both arms wrapped tightly around her, only his right arm was draped over her shoulder. He was still holding her close though._

" _Alright lover boy. I know you don't want to, but you need to let Dawson go and give me the space to examine her," Shay said after about a minute of unsuccessfully trying to take a look at Gabby's leg. "Besides, I want Brett to take a look at that arm of yours. You're definitely going to need a hospital, but we should do what we can here."_

" _Oh Matt," Gabby said as she finally looked down and noticed just how badly burnt his arm was. He'd clearly spent more time in the flames than she'd realized. While her turnout coat had clearly done its job, the fact that he hadn't had his, had left him way too exposed. The outer side of his left arm, was covered in a deep burn._

" _I need to look at his back too," Brett said from where she stood behind him. "His shirt's burned so most likely his back is too. What happened to your coat?"_

" _Took it off so I could get to Gabby faster," Matt replied as if it was the simplest and most obvious answer the world. "And don't worry about me. Just focus on Gabby."_

" _Matt," Gabby almost scolded. "I've just got a broken leg. The burns could be more serious."_

" _How do you know you just have a broken leg?" Matt argued. "A ceiling fell on you. For all we know, you could be bleeding internally or have other injuries that we can't see. What if your leg needs surgery?"_

" _If my leg needs surgery, the time it takes for you be looked at isn't going to make a difference," Gabby countered. "As for the rest of it, I used to be a paramedic. I'm still certified as a paramedic. I think I'd be able to tell if something more serious was wrong."_

" _None of that really matters," Shay butted in. "There's no reason for Brett and I to both treat Dawson. If anything, she'd probably just be in my way if she tried to help. What's holding up my ability to examine Dawson is you Casey."_

" _Fine," Matt acquiesced as he placed a quick peck on Gabby's cheek before reluctantly sliding away from her on the gurney and offering his arm to Brett to look at._

" _I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to see your back as well…can…can you take off your shirt?" Brett stammered, clearly not comfortable with having to make the request._

 _From where she was sitting, Gabby couldn't see how Matt responded, but she watched Shay lift her head up, taking her attention off of Gaby's leg and turning it towards her Brett and Matt, a frown on her face._

" _Brett, why don't you take care of Dawson's leg," Shay calmly suggested. "I can treat Casey."_

" _Shay," Matt said. Gabby could tell he was going to protest, that he wanted the more experienced of the two paramedics treating her and as far as he was concerned, his own burns didn't really matter. She had to agree with Shay though. It wasn't so much that she cared about Brett seeing Matt shirtless. She understood that it was part of the job and why it was necessary. During her paramedic days, she had seen several firefighters shirtless for the same reason. Her concern was that Brett's awkwardness in the situation was going to interfere with her ability to treat Matt, and while if Brett was going to be successful in the long-run she was going to need to learn to get comfortable treating the firefighters she worked with without their shirts fully on, Gabby wasn't comfortable with her firefighter being the learning case. It was far better that Shay, who wouldn't care, treated Matt._

" _How is everything?" Chief Boden's arrival prevented Matt from saying anything further. He was accompanied by Captain Woods and Chief Walker, who Gabby hadn't even realized was on scene. A sense of panic overtook her as she realized just exactly who had potentially heard her and Matt's declarations of love and witnessed their make out session, her soon to be coworkers and one of the white shirts._

" _They both need a hospital, but at least on the surface, nothing looks life-threatening or even too serious," Shay replied._

" _74 already took one of this place's employees to the hospital," Captain Woods pointed out._

 _Well, at least the medics she'd be working with weren't yet aware of that public display of affection, Gabby thought._

" _I know it's irregular, but I don't see any harm in you taking both of them to the hospital, especially given the circumstances," Chief Boden said._

 _Chief Walker nodded, signaling his concurrence, and with that Shay started to get ready to bring them both into the back of the ambo._

" _What about Chief Hatcher? Don't we need his approval?" Brett spoke up, clearly thinking about the rule book and afraid of what would happen for ignoring it._

" _Sometimes when you're out in the field, you just gotta do what you think's best in the situation. Not that rules are meant to be broken, but they don't account for every situation and are often more about protecting the department. Out here, we don't always have the luxury of following them. Our judgement of what's best for our patients has to come first," Shay tried to educate her young partner. "Now, let's move."_

* * *

Beth was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer and distractedly flipping through a magazine when the doorbell rang. She wasn't in the mood for company. Not when she should be trying to figure out her next move since all the time she was spending in her car outside Firehouse 51 wasn't getting her anywhere. It had been over two and a half months since she'd seen Matt, since she'd had him inside her. That was way too long. She needed him again. It was simple as that. The couple of guys she'd brought home a few weeks ago when she'd gotten frustrated and temporarily given up on seeing him again hadn't compared. She hadn't felt the connection or anywhere near the incredible pleasure she'd had when they made love. Never mind how bad she'd felt afterwards about betraying him. So she tried to ignore the doorbell only the person on the other side didn't seem to get the message as they rang the bell again.

Damn it. Why did the lights have to be on? She could have hidden from whoever was on the other side of the door if the lights were off. The sun had only just started to set so it wasn't like she would have been in too much darkness. Angrily she took a few swigs of her beer before getting up to try to make her visitor go away.

"What do you want?" she barked as she swung open the door.

"Is that anyway to greet family?" her visitor and ex-sister-in-law said.

"Lori?" Beth asked a little confused. She hadn't seen the woman since shortly after her divorce. When she and Pat first split, she and Lori agreed that they'd stay friends. After all, the two women had been friends first; that's how she met Pat. Things had gotten awkward though after she'd met Matt and started moving on. Matt. The very thought of him brought a smile to her face, one Lori misinterpreted as being for her.

"It's good to see you too," Lori said as she let herself in, annoying Beth. She needed to find some way to get rid of her.

"What brings you by?" Beth tried her best to be pleasant. Maybe if she feigned interest, Lori would state why she was here, they'd have a quick conversation, and then the other woman would be on her way.

"I'm worried about Pat. I was hoping you could talk to him. He needs you," Lori answered.

"We're not getting back together. Even if I wasn't with someone else, it's been over for a long time," Beth replied.

"I know. That's not what I mean," Lori clarified. "He's lost and he's hurting and he feels alone. He needs a friend. He needs to know that I'm not the only one who still cares."

"He has plenty of friends," Beth pointed out. She was done with Pat so why would she care anymore? Why should any of this be her job or concern?

"Most of his friends are from work and that's the problem," Lori countered. "He's in trouble at work, and he's not dealing with it. He's just drinking."

"That's what happened before. That's why I left. If I couldn't get through to him then, I won't be able to now," Beth hoped that would be in the end of it.

"This time you're part of the problem," Lori said.

"How am I part of the problem," Beth practically laughed.

"You couldn't respect the fact that he still loves you, that he didn't want your marriage to end," Lori replied. "You didn't just move on and find someone new. You moved on with another firefighter, basically telling him that he really just wasn't good enough. And it wasn't just any firefighter, but one who was working for him, someone he was seeing on a regular basis. Then to add insult to injury you made sure it got back to him and was shoved in his face."

"I didn't know that Pat had gotten a new command never mind the fact that they were going to be working together when we met. And where else was I going to meet somebody? A lot of my friends are still part of that community," Beth defended herself. How dare Lori come in here and blame her for Pat's inability to get his act together.

"You figured it out though, and you could have shown Pat some respect and ended things," Lori argued.

"Well, sorry if my not wanting to sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of your brother's ego offends you," Beth spat.

"Even if you weren't going to end it, did you really have to bring it into the firehouse where he could see you together?" Lori responded before pausing to catch her breath.

Beth was wondering if she should point out that Pat couldn't have seen them together at the firehouse because Matt hadn't been there with Pat yet, but before she could make up her mind, Lori had started up again.

"Did you really think he wouldn't lash out at your new boyfriend? I'm sure your lover has already told you about what happened so I won't bore you by rehashing it, and I get that my brother was in the wrong with how he handled things. But this suspension is destroying him, and he doesn't deserve that either," the woman continued.

Beth had been tuning Lori out. She didn't really care what had happened, especially since it didn't actually involve her boyfriend. Besides, Pat was nothing more than a part of her past, part of the road that led her to Matt. Still, the word suspension caught her attention. It explained why she hadn't seen Pat at 51 lately. If he was simply suspended though, that meant he'd likely be back. If he was lashing out at someone he thought was her boyfriend, how was he going to react when he met the real thing? Once she found Matt, she was probably going to need to get him out of that house. Maybe she actually should be paying attention.

"I've found him drinking at ten in the morning because as he put it he has no where to be so why should he wait til five o'clock. And of course any time I try to get him to stop, I just get a drunken rant about how it isn't fair," Lori continued. "The whole house if full of liars. Every last one of them was covering up the fact that the lieutenant and the comatose candidate are engaged or were engaged, he's not really clear on that part, and pretending that the lieutenant's out of town dealing with some family emergency when he's really been at her bedside in the hospital. And for their lies, they barely got a slap on the wrist while he only told one lie, and his career's probably ruined."

Beth smiled triumphantly. Things were finally falling into place. Matt had rushed out of her room that morning after getting a call. Someone had been hurt. His friend had said he was dealing with a family emergency. Then he'd said that Matt was back with his ex. That part had never made sense. They'd shared something special and real. They were meant to be. She knew he'd felt it too. Now though she understood why Matt hadn't been at work, and more importantly why he hadn't come over again. Matt was the lieutenant in Lori's story so his ex must be the candidate. He wasn't back with his her because he wanted to be but rather out of a sense of obligation and because he thought it was the right thing to do. It sounded like the woman had been seriously hurt, and he was at her side. He must think she needed him. Maybe she was still in love with him and he knew she still felt that way. How could the ex not still feel that way? How could anyone fall out of love with him? And he was a good man. She'd known that from the moment their eyes first met at the luau. He wouldn't just abandon a woman he'd once loved in her hour of need. That must be the case. It made so much more sense than any other explanation she'd come up with.

She just needed to make him understand that it wasn't the right thing to do. That sacrificing their happiness for the sake of his ex wasn't in anyone's best interest. In long-run, this woman would be better off moving on with her life instead of holding onto a fantasy. He could support this woman if he thought he needed to while still living his life. And if his ex disagreed, well, any woman who would deny him the chance to be with his true love didn't deserve his support no matter what condition she was in. What happened to this woman, awful as it probably was, was no reason for them not to be together.

She'd go to every hospital in the city until she found him. They'd talk and kiss, and he'd come to his sense and realize that his sacrifice wasn't worth it. Then everything would be as it should be. Once again tuning Lori out, she allowed herself to bask in the knowledge that by this time tomorrow, Matt would be the one here with her. She'd be in his big, strong arms as they finally admitted their love for each other and then once again showed each other just how much they meant it. Then they'd never be apart again.

Now she just needed to get her former friend and sister-in-law out of here. She had shopping and planning to do. She needed an outfit to wear to the hospital to remind Matt just what was waiting for him and how lucky he was. And it was only right that for their first time together as an official couple, she greeted him with something special, lingerie that she'd bought just for him, something no else ever had or would see her in, something that would show off all her assets and arouse him faster than he'd ever been aroused before. She was getting her man back, and she could practically feel the warmth pooling within her as she thought about just how incredible tomorrow would be. Despite Lori's presence, she closed her eyes, remembering the way his naked body looked and the feel of his hands and lips on her bare skin.

* * *

Author's Note: So I know it was short (at least for one of my chapters) and there was no real world Matt. For those reasons, I did contemplate whether or not this should be combined with what's coming up next, but in the end, I decided it worked better standing on its own. Hope you guys still enjoyed it.

As always, please hit that review button and let me know what you think. Until next time : )


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: As always thanks to everyone who reviewed or favorited this story after Chapter 25. Glad to see people are enjoying how frequently I've been able to get chapters out recently. I should warn you though that it's because I managed to get a decent amount of writing done while off work for a few weeks so I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. That said I am determined to update more regularly this year and get out more than five or six chapters. I think I should have some more time too so hopefully I'll actually be able to.

Anyways, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy, and when you get to the end, please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Six

Matt woke up to find that it was light out. Having not slept well in he didn't even know how long he was surprised by that fact. More often than not he woke up as the sun was just starting to rise if not earlier. Turning his head slightly he saw that it was a little after nine. That was even more surprising. Last time he'd slept in this late was before Gabby had left, before they'd started having problems really. They'd kept each other up well into the night, both finally collapsing in the wee hours of the morning, and despite the hour, he'd woken up to find Gabby in his arms and still peacefully asleep. How he longed for those days.

Gabby. As he pushed himself up off the cot, his eyes darted towards her. She was still laying in the bed, eyes closed, hooked up to a bunch of machines. Everything as it was as it had been each morning for far too long. He also noticed that he was alone. Despite the fact that Camila and Ramon were here first thing most mornings, that was one thing that didn't surprise him. Gabby was due for her biweekly tests today. If things followed their usual course, the medical staff would be in within half an hour to take to take her for them. On these days, her parents normally arrived shortly after lunch. They didn't see a point in coming into the hospital just to have to sit around an empty hospital room and wait for her to come back. They seemed to prefer sitting around at home, waiting for her to return to a room where they could be with her.

"Morning Beautiful," Matt said as he reached her bedside. He didn't say good morning anymore. As far as he was concerned, the next good morning would be one where Gabby was awake. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead and then one on her lips before taking her hand in his and sitting down.

"You know I had a really great dream last night. Let me tell you about it. We had gone to your parents' cabin for a long weekend. Just the two of us. No one else around. The ability to just shut out the rest of the world and be in a place where the only thing that mattered was us," maybe that was why he'd slept better and longer than he had in who knows how long. Then again his dreams were often about Gabby waking up or them getting back together after she had done so or what life would be like in a world where they'd never broken up. He'd been experiencing the latter since the night she'd first walked out the door bag in hand. Why would last night's dream have been any different?

It didn't matter though because he wasn't going to be given the chance to contemplate it. Before he could get another word out, there was a knock on the door. They must be ready to take Gabby for her tests early. Either it was a slow day or they had some reason for wanting to get her up there as quickly as possible. That thought shifted his focus from his dream to the possibility of what they could find.

"Come in," he called.

"Casey, how's Dawson?" Chief Boden's voice flowed into the room, indicating that they weren't yet ready for Gabby's test.

"No change," Matt simply replied. He knew he should ask how the Chief was, how Donna and Terrence were, but he wasn't in the mood for exchanging pleasantries. Truthfully, he hadn't been for a long time. "It's test day though so hopefully they'll have some good news for us this time."

"I hope so," Boden said as he took a seat on the opposite side of the bed from Matt. "Listen Casey, before leaving shift this morning I got a call –"

"You're back already?" Matt couldn't help but interrupt.

"Yeah, second shift back," Boden explained.

"It's already been a month? Really?" Matt shook his head as if he didn't or maybe couldn't believe it. "Time's been a complete blur since the accident. It moves too slowly and too fast at the same time if that makes any sense."

"I'm not going to pretend that I can even begin to imagine what this has been like for you," Boden replied.

"You wouldn't want to," Matt said.

"Look Casey that phone call I got this morning came from headquarters," Boden returned the conversation to the original purpose of his visit. "I thought you should hear it from me. There's going to be a new candidate starting on Truck 81 next shift. They're permanently filling Dawson's spot."

"What? What about Gabby? She shouldn't just lose her spot because she got hurt. Or is this her punishment for hiding our relationship and working under me? That's not fair. It's worse than what we got. When she's ready to come back to work, where's she gonna go? Does she already have another spot or is she going to be stuck waiting around for a spot to open up where they're willing to take a woman? She doesn't deserve that," Matt couldn't help but feel enraged as he shot Boden a glare. How could they do this to Gabby? How could the Chief let them?

"Casey, Dawson's going to have a long road ahead of her when she wakes up. I know you know that. Even if she were to wake up today, it's not like she'll be out of the hospital tomorrow never mind able to jump on a truck the minute the bells go off. She's in for months of recovery and physical therapy. If there was a time table or even an outlook for her returning, that'd be one thing. There isn't though, and they can't just keep assigning floaters indefinitely," Boden started to explain.

The truth was that given the extent of her injuries, what they'd had to do to save her life, and the physical limitations she was expected to face if, not when, she woke up, it was impossible to imagine that she'd ever be able to work on an ambulance, let alone a truck, again. He knew that. The CFD had her records. They knew everything he did. There's no way the department hadn't come to the same conclusion. It probably had months ago and was just waiting for the next Academy class to graduate or someone to request a transfer in order to fill the spot. And if he was thinking clearly, Casey would know that too. He wasn't though. Instead Casey was blinded by his love for Dawson, holding onto unfounded hope because it didn't hurt nearly as much as the alternative. Now wasn't the time to explain all that to the lieutenant though. He wasn't ready to hear it so the Chief bit his tongue and left that part of the explanation there.

"Besides, now that they know about the two of you, there's no way they were ever going to let her back on Truck 81. Not as punishment but because despite what everyone's said about your relationship not interfering with the job, the department isn't just going to sit back and risk the possibility that it will. That there's going to be a problem on Truck 81 because two of its members, one of whom is the lieutenant, love each other or that you'd do something stupid if she found herself in trouble. They never would have agreed to let her work under you if they'd known you were dating. The fact that they didn't know so she wound up serving under you doesn't make it suddenly something they'll accept, and the fact that you broke up doesn't matter because you're obviously are still deeply in love with her. You'd have been on shift the past couple of months instead of here if you weren't," Boden continued. "As for what happens to Dawson, where she winds up, that's a decision that can't be made until she's ready to work."

"It's still not fair," Matt commented angrily but with a hint of resignation.

"I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who thought anything about this situation was fair," Boden pointed out. "If it's any consolation, Ethan Moreno, the new candidate, is top of his class at the Academy."

"I don't want another candidate no matter how good he's supposed to be. I want Gabby," Matt glared. As if top of his class could make up for the fact that the guy wasn't Gabby, that the love of his life was being forced out for things that weren't her fault, never mind how fucked up the rest of the situation surrounding everything was.

"I know, but look at it this way, you and Dawson will be able to get back together without having to deal with all the complications that came from her working for you," Boden conceded and then offered because while the Chief knew he couldn't guarantee that Dawson actually would wake up, he believed he could guarantee that if she did, it wouldn't be long before she and Casey were officially a couple again.

"Maybe, but it's still not right that Gabby doesn't get any say in this. Is there anything you can do?" Matt argued. He'd defend Gabby and fight for her in any way he could. He just wished he knew what to do to make this right.

"I'm sorry Casey, but it's done," Boden said sympathetically.

At that moment, the door opened and an orderly walked in.

"We're ready for her Mr. Casey," the man said.

"The tests," Matt explained when he saw a confused look on Boden's face.

"Ahhh. Why don't we go get a cup of coffee?" the Chief suggested, figuring that it would do Casey some good to get out of this room even if it was just for a trip to the hospital cafeteria. Maybe he could keep the lieutenant occupied so that he wouldn't just wind up wallowing in the fact that there was now a permanent replacement for Dawson on Truck 81.

Matt simply nodded before turning his attention back towards Gabby.

"Hey, I'll be back before you know it. They're going to take you for your tests anyways, and I promise I'll be back when you are. Good luck in there, and remember that today could be the day they find you coming back to us. I love you," he told her before kissing her and turning to follow Boden out of the room. Occasionally, he would beg her to show signs of progress when they tested her, and while he'd been tempted to do that today, something told him that it probably wasn't a good idea to do that in front of the Chief.

"I know you know the drill, but I am supposed to tell you that it'll probably be about three hours," the orderly informed him as he passed.

"I know," Matt acknowledged right before passing through the doorway, hoping that today things would finally be different.

* * *

An hour later, Matt was heading towards the elevator, having just walked Boden out. Coffee had been okay. He'd grabbed a blueberry muffin and ate maybe a third of it so that he could honestly answer in the affirmative when Camila asked if he'd eaten anything today. The subject of the new candidate hadn't come up again. Instead they'd talked aimlessly until Terrence's babysitter had called, wondering when the Chief would be home so she could leave. Apparently, the woman didn't like having to stay more than the couple of hours between when Donna left for school and Boden was supposed to home from shift. She'd done the same thing three days prior when the Chief had stayed late to try to get caught up on everything that had happened during his furlough and suspension, and while she hadn't even been there a week, Boden had said that if she kept it up, they were going to have to find a new babysitter.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pale brunette walking across the hospital atrium and towards the information booth, scanning the area as if she was looking for someone. He wasn't sure who she was, but alarm bells started going off in his head. His instincts were telling him that it was best to stay away from her and not be seen. Considering that the elevators were right next to the information booth, he couldn't continue on his path towards Gabby's room and avoid this woman. He'd have to walk by her to get there. Quickly looking around, he noticed a staircase that led up to the second floor. Technically, he could head up the stairs and catch an elevator on the second flood, but then he would potentially be exposing himself. If she turned, the woman would undoubtedly be able to see him making his way up the stairs. He could hide under the stairs. There was a spot right between a large potted plant and the staircase that he could duck behind. It would allow him to hear what was going on and even see if he cautiously peeked his head out. It would delay his return to Gabby's room, but he was already on track to get back there a couple hours before she did so he had the time. He just wished he understood why he felt the urge to hide from this woman and spy on her. On its face, there was nothing unusual about a woman walking across a hospital lobby. There was no reason to think this woman was anything but harmless but for some reason he thought otherwise.

"I'm looking for information on a patient," the woman said once she reached the information desk. Matt didn't really recognize her voice. It wasn't familiar, but at the same time, he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd heard it before. Maybe someone from a call.

"We don't just give out information on our patients' health," an elderly gentleman behind the information desk replied.

"No you don't understand. I don't want to know how she's doing. I just want to know where she," the woman explained.

"Name?" the man asked. Matt couldn't help but wonder if they just gave out a patient's room number to anybody who came through the door asking. That seemed like a violation of privacy. How did they know someone actually knew the patient and wasn't just a random person off the street?

"Beth Pridgen," the woman answered.

"We don't have any patient by that name," the man said after a minute.

"No that's my name," the woman, Beth, said.

"I meant what's the name of the woman you're looking for?" the man behind the information desk was starting to sound irritated at least in Matt's opinion.

"I don't know," Beth replied, not picking up on the irritation. "But something happened to her, and I'm pretty sure she's been in a coma since early February.

That last part certainly caught Matt's attention. A woman who'd been in a coma since early February sounded an awful lot like Gabby. The thing was he had no idea who this woman actually was or why she'd be asking about Gabby, especially since she didn't seem to know who Gabby was. Was she some woman who'd read about the accident was curious? That seemed like the simplest explanation for a stranger coming here and looking to see Gabby, but it didn't really fit. If that was the case, wouldn't she at least know Gabby's name and that it had been a car accident, not just something, and wouldn't she have tried this weeks ago?

"If you don't know her name –" the man started to say only to be cut off by Beth.

"Look, my boyfriend's a friend of hers. He's been visiting her, spending pretty much all his time with her, and I want to be able to support him," Beth insisted. She figured it was true; she was going to support him just by making him see reason and realize that gluing himself to his ex and getting back together with her simply because of some health crisis wasn't the right thing for either him or his ex.

Matt meanwhile was more confused than ever. First of all, if this woman's boyfriend really was spending time with Gabby, he would most likely know her. After all, with one exception, Gabby's visitors had consisted entirely of him, her family, 51, and the rest of their friends. Yet while he had to admit that there was something vaguely familiar about this woman, and that feeling had increased the longer he watched her, as far as he knew, she was a stranger. Maybe a friend had started seeing her since the accident and hadn't mentioned it. That would have made sense except for the fact that she had said that her boyfriend was spending pretty much all him time with Gabby. There was a very small group of people, let alone, men who had been spending most of their time with Gabby. Really there were only three on them. Gabby's brother, Gabby's father, and himself. He had a hard time seeing how Antonio could have started seeing someone recently, and considering that his split with Laura wasn't all that long ago, Matt doubted Antonio was ready to move on. He couldn't really picture Ramon having an affair, certainly not under these circumstances, and would any mistress really have the gall to visit her lover at his comatose daughter's bedside? Besides, with Antonio back at work and both men going home at night, did they really quality as spending "pretty much all their time" at Gabby's bedside?

Really the only person who fit that part of the description was himself, but he certainly wasn't her boyfriend or anyone else's. He was Gabby's guy, always would be whether they were technically together or not. That's when it hit him, who she was, why there was something vaguely familiar about her. The woman from the bar that awful night. He didn't remember her name or anything, it's not like he'd thought about her in any context other than his guilt, but her name could have been Beth. To say he was her boyfriend was far more than a complete stretch. It had been a simple one night stand. More than that it had been a huge mistake he wished he could take back. But Severide had said she'd been coming by 51 looking for him and that she had gotten in her head that there was something more between them. Could she have gone from agreeing with his insistence that he wasn't looking for anything serious and it was just going to be a meaningless night of fun to thinking that sex meant they were together? It was completely ridiculous. Yet at the same time, it was the thing that came the closest to making sense.

"If your boyfriend's with the woman you want to see, why don't you just call him and what her room number is," the man suggested.

"I would, but he's turned his phone off to visit her," Beth lied. Allowing Matt to leave that morning without exchanging phone numbers had been a huge mistake, one she'd been regretting ever since. She had no doubt they would have spent the past couple months together if she'd just had a way to get in touch with him. Still, it wasn't a mistake she couldn't admit to as it would probably make this annoying, miscreant less likely to give her the information she was seeking. Not that she understood why he hadn't given it to her in the first place. Wasn't this guy's job to give people information anyways? That didn't really matter though. What was important was that the lie was probably believable. For all she knew, hospitals still didn't allow people to have cell phones near patients or equipment.

"On most floors, he'd be able to have his phone on," the man pointed out.

"She's probably on a floor, where he can't. After all, she's in a coma," Beth argued.

"Are you sure she's here?" the man asked. "If he can't have his phone on it could be because another hospital has a different policy."

"Look, he forgot to tell me what hospital, okay? I've already been to Chicago Med, and they said she wasn't a patient there," Beth was getting exasperated.

"If he hasn't told you what hospital she's in, I can't just give you her information even if she is a patient here," them man replied.

"Look he wants me here. He needs me here, and if he realized I didn't know where to go, he would have told me," Beth insisted.

"Alright, let me see what I can find," the man seemed to give in. Matt couldn't believe it. How could this man just give away any information on a patient to a woman, who clearly didn't know her or have a valid reason to have access to the information. Wasn't that some type of violation of privacy laws? If this was how Lakeshore dealt with their patients, Gabby was probably better off someplace else.

What Matt didn't know was that the man randomly typed a bunch of nonsense into his computer and then pretended to search the hospital's systems. He knew this wasn't the sort of request he was suposed to comply with, but he also had a feeling that trying to refuse to help this woman was more likely to cause a scene than make her go away so he decided it was best to play along. Since she had admitted to not knowing what hospital the woman she was seeking was in, when he said that the woman wasn't here, she wouldn't know that there was no basis for the claim.

"I'm sorry, we don't currently have any patients who were admitted in early February," them man said after a couple of minutes.

Matt relaxed a little when he realized the man had lied to Beth. They had a patient who had been admitted in early February. He knew that because that patient was Gabby.

"Are you sure?" Beth asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," the man replied.

"Alright. I guess I'll have to keep looking," Beth sighed. She didn't like it. She just wanted to find Matt, but if he wasn't here, there was no point in staying. She'd find him at one of these hospitals. She was sure of it.

Matt made sure he was extra-well hidden, and then out of the corner of his eye, he watched her walk out of Lakeshore. He waited a few more minutes to try to make sure it was safe, and then he emerged from his hiding spot, heading straight towards the elevator. As he passed the information desk, he gave the man behind it a nod of thanks. Although the man didn't realize that's what it meant.

Stepping into the elevator, he breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that he'd made it without being seen by Beth and that she didn't know that he was actually here. He was also grateful that he'd been the one to overhear her conversation with the hospital staff and not a member of Gabby's family. He didn't know how exactly they would have reacted to the woman, but it wasn't something he wanted to find out. What's more he didn't know if they would have known to keep her far away or how they would have interpreted her claims about her boyfriend, if they would have also concluded that she was referring to him. They had to know that he hadn't moved on from Gabby, that he certainly wasn't in a relationship with some other woman. Still, how would they react if they'd discovered that he'd been having meaningless sex with some bimbo he'd met at a bar, Gabby's bar, while their daughter was almost getting killed? He didn't want them to find out that way. He'd prefer they didn't find out at all.

And Gabby, well it was something she should hear from him, not that he wanted her to hear it all, he wished it had never happened. When she woke up, he was probably going to have to tell her. If this was serious, there wouldn't be a way around it. Unfortunately, this seemed like it could be serious. Unless he'd completely misunderstood what he'd heard, this Beth woman was clearly delusional, and that left him completely unsettled. His first priority had to be Gabby, always would be Gabby, but at some point, this was something he, or maybe they, would have to deal with. For now though, he just wanted to be with his girl so as the elevator came to a stop, he got out and headed straight for Gabby's room to wait for her to come back from her tests, knowing that the next couple of hours were going to feel like a couple of years.

* * *

 _Gabby was laying in one of the curtain areas in Lakeshore's emergency department, waiting for the results of her x-rays even though she was positive she knew what they were going to say. There was no doubt in her mind that her leg was broken and probably severely. Although that appeared to be her only injury. Her gear had done its job. She had no signs of burns or smoke inhalation. Her abdomen had proven perfectly fine upon examination and the ultrasound they'd done of her leg when they'd first rushed her in here, before they'd taken her for x-rays, revealed no internal bleeding. The morphine on her IV had finally kicked in a couple minutes ago too, and while the pain hadn't stopped, it was now more like a dull ache instead of the sharp agony she'd felt since she'd first tried to stand, the agony she'd tried to hide from everyone, something Shay would no doubt lecture her on later. What was she supposed to do though? She hadn't wanted to worry Matt, not after already having scared him so badly._

 _Matt. She didn't know how he was doing, and the worry was gnawing at her. In the ambo, she'd gotten a good look at the burn on his arm as Shay did what she could to treat it and then insisted he keep his arm elevated. She hadn't been able to see the one on his lower back, but at least from what she'd gathered from Shay, it had only been the bottom portion of his back that was burnt. She suspected that the turnout coat surrounded arm that she'd wrapped around him as he carried her had provided the rest of his back with some protection. Or maybe she hoped it had because that would have meant she'd given him small amount of protection after he'd risked so much to bring her to safety. She was trying not to think about that though._

 _From what she'd been able to see and hear, she knew the burns were on the more serious end but not anywhere close to life threatening. She just didn't know if they were serious enough to warrant admission or if he'd only need to spend several hours here. She desperately wanted to know and more than that to see him. She assumed he was still in the ED, but she didn't know where. The doctors had whisked them in opposite directions as soon as they'd made it through Lakeshore's doors. Why couldn't they have kept them together? That way they would have been able to see how the other was doing. She needed to know how bad his condition was, that felt more important to her than her leg, and given how he'd reacted from the moment he reached the debris that had trapped her, really from the moment he found out she was in trouble if from what she'd heard through the radio, she knew he needed to know how she was too._

 _Someone had to know how he was doing. Someone who would tell her. A nurse or a doctor. Shay or Brett or one of the guys. If they were done at the scene, then 51 was surely hanging out in the waiting room, waiting for news and the opportunity to come back to see her and Matt. She was about to hit the call button when a voice caught her attention._

" _Hey," Matt's voice flowed through the room as he opened the curtain and revealed himself._

 _Gabby couldn't help but take him in. She wasn't surprised to see that he was just wearing a hospital gown and socks. It wasn't just the fact that his uniform shirt had been pretty much destroyed by the fire, but the gown would have made it easier to address the burns. His arm was wrapped with bandages extending over his shoulder and down below the gown, undoubtedly down to the burns on his back. He had brought an IV with him, one that was hooked up to his good arm. There was only one bag on the IV. It would have contained either painkillers or fluids. Gabby wasn't sure which, but as much as she hated the idea of Matt being in pain, she was hoping for the latter. His body would need have needed fluids to replace what had seeped out through the burn. On a more personal level though, a large smile formed on his face as soon as their eyes met. His were filled with both love and concern._

" _Hey," she said back. "How are you?"_

" _Better now that I've seen you," he replied._

" _Matt," that wasn't the type of response she was looking for and he knew it._

" _I'm fine," Matt insisted. "They don't think I need skin grafts or anything, but they want to keep me here overnight to monitor me and keep giving me fluids. Hope you don't mind scarring though. They told me I should expect some. Should be minor though." He gave her a small smile._

" _Of course I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay. You could have been killed in there. What were you thinking?" Gabby asked._

" _You could have been killed. That's what I was thinking. That was the only thing that mattered," Matt explained as he sat down on the edge of Gabby's bed and wrapped his bandaged arm around her and pulled her close. "Anyways –"_

" _Be careful. I don't want to hurt you," Gabby cut him off as she tried to shift so that she wasn't putting any weight on him. She would have rather leaned into his other side, but figured he'd chosen this one to make sure his IV was out of the way._

" _Hey, after a day like today, having you close is worth anything," Matt leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "As I was saying, anyways, I didn't hunt down where you were so that we could talk about what happened at that warehouse. There'll be time for that after I know that you're okay."_

" _I'm fine too," Gabby let out a laugh. She had figured that was why he had come to her. If she had been able to walk, she would have done the same thing. "My x-rays haven't come back but everything else came back clear. I'd say that at this point the only questions are exactly where it's broken and how long it's going to take to heel."_

" _Thank God," Matt said as he let out a breath. Gabby hadn't even realized he'd been holding it. "You scared me half to death Gabby."_

" _I know. I'm sorry, and I'm sorry for how I've been acting," she shifted so that she could face him and took his free hand in hers. "I shouldn't have been such a bitch. I love you too much for that. You know Shay and I were talking before the call came in, and she made me realize that I wasn't so much upset with you because you'd told Captain Woods about us, there was really no reason to hold a grudge over it when he seemed to take it well. It's just I feel like I'm sacrificing so much to be with you, and you're not sacrificing anything. I didn't want to admit it so I just found some other reason to be angry, but, God Matt, you just almost sacrificed your life for me. And it's not that I wouldn't do the same for you because I know in my heart I would. It's just this whole experience has made me realize that I have no right to be upset that you're not sacrificing anything for us because if you ever thought the situation called for it, you would."_

" _There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Gabby. You need to know that, and yeah, I didn't get what the big deal was with my telling Captain Woods. I mean I know you were worried about how people are going to see you once they know about us and that we agreed that we'd figure out when was an appropriate time to tell people, but I didn't understand why you were so upset about it. I figured that you would have known that I was doing what I thought was in your best interest," Matt explained._

" _I do get that," Gabby cut in._

" _And I get that the idea of leaving 51 hasn't been easy for you and that it would seem like you had to give stuff up while I didn't. I guess you did. No one was ever trying to be unfair to you. I hope you know that," Matt continued._

" _I do. As much as the whole idea of transferring sucks, I do at least logically understand why I'm the one leaving and you're the one staying," Gabby reassured him._

" _Good, and I want you to know that I never thought that this was going to be the end of us. I knew we'd work it out," Matt told her. "But this whole thing has gotten me thinking. Don't leave 51. Let's talk to Boden about cancelling the transfer. You should stay on 81 with me."_

" _Huh? What about us? What about getting married?" Gabby was now completely confused. She didn't believe that he suddenly didn't want to get married so why was he saying this? Was he taking what she'd said and trying to sacrifice something for her? If so, he had taken it way too far. This wasn't what she wanted at all._

" _We can't get married if you're dead," Matt replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Okay that was definitely true and a pretty obvious fact, but it certainly wasn't the response she was expecting._

" _Matt," she said in a reassuring tone. "I'm not dead."_

" _I know. I know, and I don't think I've ever been happier about anything in my life. I love you more than anything," he reached up to stroke her cheek._

" _I love you more than anything too," she couldn't help interrupting._

" _But you would be dead Gabby if I wasn't there," Matt insisted. "Boden called it, and you were trapped in there. And as much as Shay was crying and the guys were protesting and trying to get him to change his mind, they weren't getting anywhere or even disobeying. Maybe they understood why he had made the call. I did. I just didn't care. Nothing was going to stop me from getting to you Gabby. Nothing, and as much as everyone else cares about you and didn't want to leave you behind, I'm the only one who can say that. I don't hold it against them. If it had been someone else, as much as it would have killed me, I probably would have done the same thing. If I hadn't been there. If this had happened after your transfer. I need you to be somewhere where I can do everything I can to protect you and make sure you come home because next time, if this happens again –,"_

" _You've done this job a lot longer than I have," Gabby cut him off, figuring it was really the emotion of what had happened in that warehouse talking. She just needed to make him see that. "So I know that you know that this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time. It's rare, and if you were thinking clearly you'd see that. I get it though. I'd be pretty freaked out right now had you been the one to get trapped with no way out. I mean I absolutely hate the fact that you got hurt at all, and in the ambo and the hospital at first, after that beam fell on your head a year and a half ago, I was absolutely terrified. You almost died then too. And you know what I think it's probably a good thing I was at the Academy when you went back to work. I don't know if I would have been able to handle standing outside the first time you went back into a burning building, knowing so many things could potentially go wrong. The thing is by the time I was back at 51, you'd been on enough calls that I felt okay being out there. With all the calls you've been on, how many times have you gotten seriously hurt? Just the one. It was that knowledge that made me realize the odds of something going wrong were small. We've both always known that there's a chance one of us could lose the other to this job. That's not something that just came up today. The only thing that's changed is that it almost happened today."_

" _That's not the only thing that changed," Matt interjected. "You know I've always been terrified of something happening to you."_

" _And deep down, I'm terrified of something happening to you, but I don't let it control me. I can't, or it would just drive me crazy," Gabby returned the favor and interrupted him._

" _Before today though it was just some abstract idea," Matt continued on as if she hadn't spoken. "Now it's so much more real."_

" _And with time and distance, it won't be," Gabby tried to reassure him. "You're not going to have a choice on that. I can't imagine anyone would ever agree to let me stay on 81 with you."_

 _Matt just looked at her confused. Had he been paying attention to anything that happened after she first got trapped?_

" _What happened earlier is probably exactly why they don't want couples working in the same company. When Boden first told I couldn't have the empty spot on 81, I didn't understand why it was a big deal. Now I finally get it," she explained. "How you reacted when I got trapped. You disobeyed orders, went back into an unstable and dangerous building after the Chief had called it, and risked your life because I was in serious trouble."_

" _But I didn't risk anyone else's. It's not like I brought anyone in with me. As much as I was tempted to, I didn't order my men to come with me. I even gave Hermann the option to do what Chief said and leave," Matt insisted._

" _I know, but I don't think it's going to matter to Boden," Gabby said. "I'm grateful for what you did even if I didn't want you to. I mean I'm glad to still be alive and here with you. But I don't think Boden can risk you doing something like that again because it's dangerous and it undermines his authority. Even if I'm wrong and he's willing to keep looking the other way, it's probably not going to be his call. It wasn't just 51 at the scene to see how you reacted and what happened when we came out. A lot more people know about us now, including Chief Walker. Do you really think the department is going to just say okay, they're a couple, not a big deal? There's a reason we've been hiding our relationship for the past year."_

 _Before Matt could reply, the curtain opened once again, causing the couple to shift their attention towards it where they were greeted by the sight of Dr. Lawson, the ER resident who was treating Gabby. She knew him a little bit from her paramedic days._

" _Your x-ray results came back," Dr. Lawson started._

" _And," Matt was clearly impatient._

" _Well Dawson, your femur's broken in a couple of places, one of them straight through. There's also a fracture in your tibia and another one in your ankle," the doctor explained. "And I'd like to ask you about the last time you broke your leg."_

" _I've never broken my leg," Gabby replied, wondering why he would think she had? "I sprained my ankle about a year and a half ago, but I've never broken a bone."_

" _Are you sure?" Dr. Lawson asked._

" _Yes, I'm sure," she responded._

" _Think back really hard," Dr. Lawson prodded._

" _I think I'd know if I'd broken my leg," this wasn't making any sense. Why was he being so insistent?_

" _Maybe you blocked it out. It may have been pretty traumatic," the doctor suggested._

" _No, and even if I had someone would have told me," Gabby insisted._

" _What's going on? Why are you so concerned about a potential prior broken leg?" Matt finally asked, his voice laced with worry as he held Gabby a little tighter._

" _Because the x-rays indicate she has previously broken her leg, pretty badly in fact," Dr. Lawson explained. "Dawson, I've consulted with ortho. On their own your current breaks and fractures don't indicate a need for surgery or anything beyond a cast and staying off the leg. The problem is that your prior fractures don't appear to have healed properly. We'd like to know how you broke your leg last time and what happened afterward so that we can try to figure out what caused it and see if there's anything we should be doing to prevent it from happening again."_

" _Well, I don't know what to tell you other than there must be something wrong with the x-ray or how it's being interpreted because I've never broken my leg," Gabby replied. When she saw the way Dr. Lawson was looking at her though, she raised her voice. "HONESTLY."_

" _Okay. I'll consult with ortho again and let them know that you don't remember," Dr. Lawson said before turning and walking away._

" _It's not that I don't remember. It's that it never happened," she called after him._

 _As Matt rubbed her back to try to calm her down, Gabby couldn't help but wonder if she could trust these doctors. Her leg was broken. She didn't need an x-ray to tell her that. There was no doubt in her mind. But did they really know what they were doing? How could they if they were insisting she'd previously broken her leg when she hadn't. Still, it sounded like they would be putting her in a full leg cast given how many bones they said she'd broken. That would be good. No matter where she'd actually broken it, that would give it a chance to heel. She should probably find somewhere else to check on her during her recovery though._

" _Hey," Matt's voice pulled her back to him. What was he thinking right now?_

" _I swear Matt. He's wrong. I've never broken anything before. Not my leg. Not anything. I don't know where he's getting this from," she practically cried. She needed him to believe her and not Dr. Lawson._

" _The important thing is to focus on your leg now, on it healing," Matt replied._

" _I'm not crazy," she felt like she needed to defend herself._

" _I know you're not," he told her._

 _If he had wanted to say more, he didn't get the chance as suddenly they were interrupted by the sound of a man clearing his throat, clearly intent on getting their attention. If Gabby had to guess, she would have said it was Chief Boden, and she was right because when she turned towards the sound she saw three men standing there. Him, Captain Woods, and Chief Walker._

" _How…how long have you been standing there?" she asked, nervous about what they'd overheard._

" _Since Casey told you to focus on your leg healing," Boden told her._

" _The doctor says Gabby's x-rays indicate that she previously broke it, but she doesn't remember doing so. She was probably just a real little kid," Matt explained in a way that wouldn't make the white shirts think there was anything to be concerned about. She didn't really agree that it had probably just happened when she was too young to remember. Now probably wasn't the time to argue that though._

 _Chief Walked simply nodded as if he didn't think it was a big deal before speaking._

" _So I understand the two of you are engaged and have been for the past year," he said._

" _Chief I –," Matt tried to cut in, clearly wanting to defend them, only Chief Walker wasn't giving him the chance._

" _That's the entire time Dawson's been assigned to Truck 81," Chief Walker continued. "It was one thing for the two of you to be working in the same house when she was a paramedic, but with you as lieutenant Casey and you as candidate Dawson, that's a whole other ball game, and I suspect you know that. Had the department known about your relationship, we never would have allowed Dawson to be assigned to Truck 81. Chief Boden, Captain Woods, and I have had a long talk about where we go from here. You'll both probably be off shift for a while, especially Dawson. That said, Dawson's transfer to Truck 6 is effective immediately. When she is cleared to return to work, she is to report to Firehouse 13."_

" _But I still have several shifts left as a candidate," Gabby pointed out._

" _Doesn't matter. Captain Woods and his team are more than capable of completing your training Candidate," Chief Walker pointed out._

" _I'm not trying to say they're not," Gabby suddenly felt concerned that she'd offended her new commanding officer. "It's just it's rare for someone to be transferred mid-candidacy. I thought the department tried to avoid that."_

" _In this case it's warranted," Chief Walker replied. "And it's a better option that having you continue to work for your fiancée."_

" _Yes sir," Gabby tried to hide her disappointment._

" _Lieutenant," Chief Walker turned his attention towards Matt. "I want you to think long and hard about what you did today and whether that's really becoming of an officer. The example you set for your men. What could have happened to them if they had followed your lead instead of Chief Boden's. Would you really have wanted that on your conscious? Were you being a leader or were you being selfish? Regardless you will receive a formal reprimand for your actions today."_

 _Chief Walker didn't wait for a response. He simply turned his back to the couple and walked away._

" _Dawson keep me informed of your recovery and what the doctors are saying. I think the three of you need a chance to talk. I'll see you when you're back on shift," Captain Woods said before following Chief Walker out of the curtain area, leaving Gabby, Matt, and Boden alone, an awkward silence engulfing them._

" _A year ago, when I agreed to look the other way and allow Dawson on 81, the two of you promised that you'd keep your relationship off the job, that you were capable of approaching every situation as lieutenant and candidate," Boden finally broke the silence. "Today you proved that trust was misplaced."_

" _We've always done everything we could to make sure our personal relationship didn't affect how we worked together or with anyone else, but this wasn't a normal situation," Gabby defended them._

" _You had to have always known that something like this was a possibility, that if Gabby was ever in the situation she was in today, I'd do whatever I had to," Matt said. "If we got a call and Donna was there and trapped with no way out, you really think you wouldn't break any rule, disobey any order, move heaven and earth to get to her. Just because Gabby's a firefighter and not a civilian doesn't make what I did any different."_

" _The man and husband in me gets that, but the Chief in me can't," Boden replied. "You didn't just disobey an order Casey you showed no respect or regard for the chain of command or for me."_

" _I'm sorry you feel disrespected, but I'm not sorry for what I did," Matt responded. "And if you want me to say I shouldn't have done it, I won't. I'd do it again because it's the only reason my fiancée's still alive."_

" _I know," Boden sighed. "I know."_

* * *

Author's Note: That's all for now. Until next time, please let me know what you think.


	27. Chapter 27

Author's Note: Huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story after Chapter Twenty Six, especially the guest who left me such a nice long review. The response to the last chapter blew my mind so once again thank you. And Coconut while I don't actually write it, in my mind Beth does go to every hospital looking for Matt.

Now I figure I should warn everyone that a portion of this chapter does get into more M-ish territory than I normally write so consider yourself warned. Otherwise, sit back, enjoy, and when you get to the end, please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Seven

 _Gabby was sitting in one of the exam room's in her primary care physician's office, waiting anxiously for the result of a batch of x-rays that had been taken right before lunch time. With any luck Dr. Stoddard would not just be in soon but would be informing her that her leg had healed enough for them to take this damn full leg cast off. She hated the thing. It was itchy and uncomfortable and had obnoxiously basically immobilized her left leg. Having to rely on crutches really sucked. She couldn't wait to get this thing off of her._

 _She wished Matt were here. She could use the company and something to keep her mind off of the impending verdict on her leg. Neither her phone nor the magazine she'd grabbed in the waiting room were doing much good on that front. He was on shift though, and while he'd offered to take the day off so he could accompany her to the appointment, she'd told him not to. He'd only recently returned to work himself after recovering from his burns. He didn't need to be taking more time off, and after what had happened at the warehouse fire, he especially didn't need to let their relationship influence anything related to the job even if it was just taking a personal day._

 _It had been eight weeks since the fire that had broken her leg, nearly killed her, burnt Matt, revealed their relationship to the rest of the CFD, and led to her abrupt departure from Firehouse 51. Eight weeks in which she'd been off shift and barely able to work at Molly's. The first six hadn't been so bad. Matt had been recovering too so they'd at least been home together. They'd kept each other company, took advantage of the additional time they had to spend together, to be together, and even made some progress on the wedding planning front. While nothing was anywhere near final, they'd at least come to an agreement on what they were looking for. The last two weeks though, those had felt like they lasted longer than the first six. Matt had only been on shift four times since getting cleared, but he'd also resumed his construction jobs, giving her plenty of time by herself. She hated to admit it, she'd always considered herself to be a strong, self-sufficient, independent woman, but she was getting lonely spending so much time at home by herself. She was going stir crazy too. She was already sick of pretty much everything she could do when she was home alone and practically confined to the couch: watching TV, reading, surfing the internet. She'd long since passed the point where any of them were fun. It wasn't as if her friends and brother weren't stopping by or that she and Matt hadn't gone out at all in the past eight weeks, but she was still spending far too much time in her apartment with no one's company but her own. She needed good news. She needed to get this damn cast off and be told she could go back to work, even if going to 13 wasn't going to be the same as going back to 51._

" _Gabriela, I've got your x-rays back," Dr. Stoddard said as she walked into the room, pulling Gabby's mind off how bored she was and back to the present._

" _How do they look," Gabby asked eagerly. This was the moment she'd been waiting weeks for._

" _Pretty good," Dr. Stoddard replied much to Gabby's relief. "I think you're going to need a week or two to get used to having the cast off and make sure everything's okay before going back to work, but I see no reason why we can't take that cast off today."_

" _Thank God," Gabby couldn't help but exclaim. As much as more time off work sucked, getting out of this cast almost made the additional time at least bearable. She was looking forward to being able to walk, to drive, to move freely without constraint. She could at least take on more of a roll at Molly's again or spend a day at a park or museum instead of on the couch searching for something to binge watch._

" _You're not alone," Dr. Stoddard laughed. "I don't think I've ever had a patient whose complained about getting a cast removed."_

" _Have you ever been in one of these things?" Gabby asked. "It's awful."_

" _On my wrist, but fortunately, nothing that bad," Dr. Stoddard sympathized. "You should consider yourself lucky though. Given how badly you broke your leg in the first place, I was expecting to tell you that you were going to have to come back in a few weeks for more x-rays, but everything looked really good."_

" _Well, thanks," Gabby replied, not really sure what to say._

" _Someone will be in shortly to remove the cast. After that, you're free to go. Just make an appointment for the middle of next week so I can see if I can clear you for work," Dr. Stoddard instructed._

" _Will do," Gabby said._

 _With that Dr. Stoddard said her goodbye, and Gabby was left to wait again. About 15 minutes later Dr. Stoddard's physician's assistant had arrived to remove the cast, and then Gabby was free to be on her way._

 _Since it has her left leg that was in a cast, Gabby was more than capable of driving, but for some reason, the thought had made her really uncomfortable so she hadn't been behind the wheel of a car in eight weeks. She'd taken an uber to her appointment, and as she walked out of her doctor's office, she intended to get another one and then to call Matt while she waited to tell him the good news. Only as she opened the app on her phone, a better idea hit her._

 _Firehouse 51 wasn't all that far. It was certainly within walking distance from where she was. She'd been avoiding going back there. There was something definitive and final about going to 51 now that she knew she would never work there again, something that made her want to avoid it. Maybe it was the fact that she knew that at some point she'd have to clean out her locker, a physical, indisputable sign that it was no longer her firehouse. Not going back meant she could continue to put if off. Sure, Matt had offered to grab her stuff for her, but she'd told him no, feeling a need to do it herself even if that need was accompanied by a sense of sadness. Going now though, to see Matt and tell him her good news, gave her an excuse to visit without having to worry about the locker side of the equation. That was what she would do._

 _Now out of the building and with a smile on her face, Gabby turned in the direction of Firehouse 51, happy to be walking for the first time in weeks._

* * *

 _The first thing Gabby noticed as she approached Firehouse 51 was that the garage doors were open. Considering that it was summer, she figured that it didn't mean anything. What did mean something though was what she saw when got closer. All the rigs were gone. Everyone must be out on a call._

 _Great. She had no idea how long they'd be out or even what type of call they were on. She could theorize based on the fact that Truck, Squad, and Engine had all gotten the call, but she didn't even know that for certain. It's not like the firehouse had never gotten multiples calls at once, with different companies responding to different incidents. She didn't particularly want to have to sit around 51 indefinitely, waiting for everyone, or at least Truck, to get back. Still, what was her other option. Go back home and hang out by herself. Let Matt know that she was now cast-free in a voicemail. Those alternatives weren't any more appealing. If she stayed, well, she may not know how long she'd have to wait, but at least she'd get human contact, the chance to hang out with her friends, to see Matt._

 _Her mind made up she walked into 51, stopping on the apparatus floor. Closing her eyes, it was easy to picture the rigs all in their places, the apparatus floor bustling with activity as people moved around, Squad sitting at their table, playing cards or just talking. She had a lot of memories in this place. Shay walking into 51 for the first time, meeting everyone, and thinking she and Matt were a couple, a moment that turned out to be the beginning of the most beautiful friendship. She was practically standing in the spot she had been in when she and Matt told the rest of the house that they were together. Everyone had been so happy for them; she couldn't help but chuckle at Hermann going on about how he'd told Cindy it was only a matter of time. And over there was where Matt proposed to her for the first time, the only time in this world she supposed since that fateful call hadn't come in. How she wished she remembered that moment the way he did._

 _Gabby's stomach picked that moment to let out a growl, reminding her that she'd been too anxious about the results of her x-rays to have much of a lunch. The guys wouldn't mind if she helped herself to a snack, would they? She had to figure that she was still one of them. She headed into the common room and straight towards the fridge. Quickly scanning the contents of one of the fridges, she decided to make herself a sandwich. She grabbed some bread and peanut butter from second watch's food cart and then a banana._

 _Once her sandwich was put together, Gabby headed towards the long table and took a seat. She plopped down in the chair Matt normally sat in; it gave her a good view of the room. The kitchen area, where she'd spent a lot of time over the past year cooking for the house, following in the footsteps of all the candidates like Mills and even Jones who'd come before her. And more importantly, the place where she'd had her first real conversation with Matt. The smaller round table she'd often sat at with Shay. The empty couch, where Mouch was normally parked. The TV was still on, showing a rerun of some cop show. She didn't know if it was the same show that was on when the call came in and everyone raced out of here, obviously in too much of a rush to turn it off. Still, they often gave CPD flack, and yet here they were, with a cop show on the firehouse TV. She'd never been in here by herself, and it was weird. As soon as her sandwich was finished, she got up, needing to be somewhere where being the only firefighter in 51 wouldn't feel so strange._

 _As she made her way through the hall, she couldn't help pausing and staring at one spot in particular. She didn't need to close her eyes this time. She could just picture it. Matt standing in between Andy and Severide, the three of them laughing, exactly the way they had been the first time she'd laid eyes on any of them. It was the sound of Matt's laugh that had drawn her towards them that morning. Although she hadn't known whose laugh it was at the time. And as she looked at them, Matt was the one she spent the most time watching as she and Boden passed. Not to say that she didn't notice Severide and Andy because she did, but there was something about Matt that drew her in, that made her stare even though he didn't seem to have any idea that she and Boden were there. Maybe it was the fact while she hadn't been willing to admit it to herself back then, she had found everything about him in that moment incredibly sexy. His physical features, the way he looked in his grey CFD t-shirt, the way he smiled, how his laugh sounded. Of course now seven years later, she thought he was even sexier on the outside than he was back then and that didn't even compare to how much she loved the person he was on the inside. She wondered if she would have reacted differently, done something differently if she'd realized she was seeing her soulmate for the first time._

 _Eventually she did move on though, deciding to cut through the bathroom and head into the locker room. She stopped at her own locker, pleased to see her name still taped on it. Not that she'd really expected them to take it off while her stuff was there, but still, it was nice to see. She wasn't going to clean it out yet; she just wanted the physical evidence that this had been her second home. Unable to resist, she opened her locker, looking at what was inside. The note she'd gotten from Jones was still on the door along with a picture of her niece and nephew. It would be nice when she got to 13 to be able to add a picture of her and Matt. Closing her locker once again and taking a seat on the bench, she couldn't help noticing all the other names. Shay's locker was nearby, and as much as she loved her best friend, she was glad that they each had their own lockers again. She couldn't help but wonder if Shay had put up a picture of Trina yet. After their first meeting, she'd begun to see Shay's girlfriend on a semi-regular basis. She liked the woman and was glad to see her best friend so happy. Then there was Hermann, who over the past year had gone from coworker/friend and business partner to a mentor and almost surrogate father. She was going to miss having him around when she was on shift. Lastly, her eyes drifted to Matt's locker, with Casey emblazoned on it. They hadn't talked about whether or not she'd take his name. She hadn't even given it much thought, but in the moment, she couldn't help but think it would be nice to see her own locker labeled Casey someday._

 _Making her way out of the locker room, she entered the bunk room. Her eyes automatically wandered towards her bunk. It was strange to think that she'd never sleep in it again. Some of her stuff was still there but so was someone else's. Whoever was covering for her must be using it. As far as she knew, her spot here hadn't been filled yet. She assumed someone, especially Matt or Shay, would have said something if it had, and while she knew it was coming, she wasn't sure how she felt about it. Regardless the laptop that was resting on her bunk was proof that 51 was moving on without her._

 _Needing to get away from the image, she headed towards Matt's office, stopping in the doorway to look around. There was something about the small room that was just so Matt. It had changed slightly though. There was a new picture on his desk. From the doorway, she could see that it was of the two of them. Wanting to get a better look, she headed into Matt's office and picked it up. They were standing together at Molly's, her back pressed against his chest while his arms were wrapped around her and her hands rested on his, huge smiles on both their faces. She may be biased, but she was positive that anyone looking at it could see just how in love they were. She'd seen the picture before, but she didn't remember it being taken. From what she'd been able gather, Shay had taken it just after they'd gotten engaged. Apparently, Shay had organized a small, impromptu, surprise engagement party for the evening after Matt proposed, the first one where they hadn't been on shift. Clearly in this world, the immediate aftermath of her engagement had been much better. Not that she wasn't extremely happy in her own memories of getting engaged, but there had been a dark cloud too because aside from her parents and brother, the person she most wanted to share the news with and have at her side wasn't there._

 _Enough of that though, none of that awfulness had happened in this world, and there were better things to think about. Matt hadn't been back at work all that long, which meant that one of the first things he did at the firehouse once he was no longer her lieutenant was add evidence of their love for each other to his office. A picture of her or them hadn't been an option when they'd been hiding their relationship so she could be on 81. It was too risky that someone would come in and see it. Now though Matt had clearly quickly taken advantage of that no longer being the case. It meant a lot to her._

 _Putting the picture down, her eyes wandered towards the bed, a smile forming on her lips as an idea came to her. It had been a while, her whole candidacy, since they'd taken advantage of the fact that Matt had not just an office but an office with a bed in it. Not that it had been a regular occurrence when she was still PIC. In fact, while they may have been unable to keep their hands off each other, even at work, when they first got together, when she returned as PIC following her stint at the Academy, they did try to act professional most of the time. Still, they couldn't resist taking advantage on occasion, and she had some very fond memories of being in that bed with the door locked and the blinds closed. Once she'd started on Truck 81 though, it had been a line they couldn't cross, and they both knew it. With her staying on second watch but about to start at Firehouse 13, this may be her final chance to create one last memory in that bed._

 _Besides, she didn't really want to have to wait until tomorrow to be with Matt again. Sure, they'd figured out how to work around her cast and make love practically as soon as Matt was discharged from the hospital, and they'd become very proficient at it. No one could describe the last eight weeks as a dry spell. Their sex life had been just as active as normal. If anything, it was even more active during the first few weeks after the warehouse fire than normal, and it was great sex full of love and passion and pleasure. She had no complaints, but despite all that, it hadn't been the same. The cast and condition of her leg had constrained her movements, and neither she nor Matt had been able to everything to and with each other that they wanted. Now though none of that was the case, and she couldn't wait to take advantage of the freedom it provided her._

 _Gabby took a seat on Matt's bed so that she could take off her flip flops followed by her t-shirt. Standing up, she took off the pair of sweatpants she had been wearing. One of many nice things about the cast being gone was that she would be able to wear other pants. As comfortable as her sweatpants were, she was tired of only being able to wear the same handful of pairs of sweatpants because nothing else fit over her cast. Once her pants were off, she neatly folded her shirt and clothes, placing them on top of her flip flops, which were in front of the night stand. She took a minute to debate between stopping there and leaving her bra and panties for Matt or continuing to strip. Deciding on the latter, she quickly took off her remaining clothes and added them to the pile._

 _Completely naked, she got into Matt's bed, pulling the covers over her to be safe. Now all she could do was wait._

 _It felt like forever, but in truth, Gabby wasn't sure how much time had passed before she heard the garage doors opening, signaling that the firefighters were returning from their call. A wave of apprehension hit her. She had no idea how long it would take Matt to come back here or if he'd be alone when he did. The truth was it was entirely possible that someone other than her fiancée would find her naked, in his bed. Maybe this wasn't the most well thought out plan. Still, staying in the bed waiting for Matt seemed safer than getting up and getting dressed, and the reward was certainly worth the risk._

" _I've still got paperwork to get caught up on," Matt's voice flowed through the bunkroom and into his office several minutes after the firefighters had gotten back._

" _Talk to you later man," Severide responded as Gabby heard footsteps getting closer. She hoped it was just Matt and that Severide had gone off in a different direction._

 _A moment later Matt walked into his office without Severide at his side. He let out a sigh. Given that he was looking at his desk, Gabby could only assume that it was in response to the pile of paperwork sitting on top of it. As he made it further into his office though, he noticed her, and his frown instantly turned into a smile._

" _Gabby, what are you doing here?" he asked. "Tired?"_

" _Shhhh. Not tired," she whispered as she motioned with her head towards the pile of clothes on the floor. They should be quiet. That way if anyone was in the bunkroom, they'd be less likely to overhear and figure out what was going on._

" _Then why are you in bed? Are you not feeling well?" he missed her motioning and was moving towards the bed, although he did lower his voice this time._

" _Everything's fine. Look over there," she replied quietly as she sat up slightly, pulling the sheets with her, and pointed towards her clothes._

 _Matt's eyes went wide as realization dawned on him. He quickly changed direction, going back towards the door to close and lock it._

" _How's your leg?" he asked as he went to close all the blinds._

" _Pretty much good to go," she answered._

" _Good," Matt said as he finished up and turned around to face her. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"_

" _Pleasure is right," Gabby said in her most seductive tone as she got out of Matt's bed, revealing herself to him. "You're not complaining are you?"_

" _Never," Matt replied as he stared at her, not moving anything but his eyes as they went up and down her body._

" _Like what you see?" Gabby asked as she started walking towards him intent on pulling him into a kiss. Only Matt reached a hand out to stop her. Now she was confused and unsure. "Matt?"_

" _You know I do," he reassured her as he pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his pants. As soon as that was done he kicked his shoes and pants off so that he was almost as exposed as she was. Her eyes started to scan him before briefly resting on the scars the burns had left behind. Was it odd that she thought they made him even hotter? It's not like the scarring was bad or obvious. Besides, in many ways it was a symbol of just how much he loved her. After a few moments, her eyes started moving down his body again, a smile forming on her face when she noticed the large bulk that had already formed in his boxers._

" _I see that," she couldn't help but reply. In some ways, she was amazed that just the sight of her naked body could affect him so quickly. Then again, she'd felt the warmth start pooling in her center as soon as he'd taken his shirt off, and now that he was before her in nothing but his underwear and socks, she knew she was already getting wet._

" _What do you expect? An absolutely gorgeous and sexy woman is naked in my office," Matt said as he pulled her into a kiss. While her hands went to play with her hair, he used one arm to hold her close, and the other snaked around her body and between her legs, where he had free reign to run his fingers up and down the inside of her left thigh. "I missed this."_

" _My leg or sneaking around the firehouse?" she questioned once they'd pulled apart for air. Instead of giving him the chance to answer, she took advantage of the break in contact and reached for the top of his boxers. She slunk her hand inside, lowering it until she found what she was looking for._

" _Mmmm, baby," Matt started to let out a moan as soon as she began stroking his already hard member. She managed to silence him with another kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth as she continued to slide her hand up and down._

" _Shhhh," she whispered as she broke the kiss for a couple of seconds and ran her teeth along his bottom lip._

" _I love you," she added before resuming the kiss and pushing him back towards the bed._

 _Once Matt was securely on the bed, Gabby sat down on top of him, straddling his waist. Removing her hand from his boxers, she placed her hands against his shoulders to balance herself and then she started grinding her crotch into his, undoubtedly leaving some of her own juices behind. Matt reached up, cupping a breast in each hand, he slowly started massaging her nipples, causing her to throw her head back in delight._

" _There's too much between us," Matt said before arching his back, allowing her to remove his boxers and throw them on the floor._

 _Gabby took a moment to look down, licking her lips at the sight of his perfect, erect penis. She couldn't resist the urge to stroke him a few more times, watching as his erection somehow managed to grow. Part of her wanted to take him then and there. She was soaked. He was hard as a rock. They were clearly both ready and maybe on borrowed time, but the other part of her didn't want to rush things. She'd forgotten the downside to firehouse sex: trying to find the balance between wanting to make sure they were both truly satisfied in case the bells went off and savoring their intimate moments. In some ways, it would be easier if she were just having a booty call like Severide had been known to occasionally have at 51. Not that that was what she wanted to be thinking about while the love of her life lay naked and aroused beneath her._

" _Come here," Matt said as he pulled her upper body towards him so that she was laying down on top him._

 _Figuring he'd just made the decision for her, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips before trailing kisses down his jaw and towards his right ear. Just as her lips reached the spot below his earlobe that she knew drove him crazy, there was a knock on the door._

" _Lieutenant," Cruz's voice came into the room._

" _Yeah," Matt called back. Gabby pulled away so that it would be easier for him to talk. As she did so, she couldn't help but notice a look of frustration on his face. It was evident to her that he was not happy with the interruption. At least he'd managed to keep it out of his voice._

" _Ross was asking about being drilled," Cruz called into the room as he tried to open the door. "Everything okay in there?"_

 _Crap. He noticed the door was locked._

" _Yeah, just have a headache," Matt lied. "Has he finished with the showers?"_

" _Yup," Cruz replied._

" _Alright. Have him do the floors, and if I'm not feeling better when he's done, Hermann can drill him. He did it all the time with Dawson so he can handle it," Matt instructed._

" _You don't want to see what this kids made of?" Cruz asked._

" _I do, but that's no reason to hold up his training. I can always see it later. Maybe with the whole company," Matt answered in what Gabby thought was an attempt to make Cruz go away._

" _Got it," Cruz clearly got the message._

" _Ross?" Gabby asked. The way they were talking this guy didn't sound like just a random floater._

" _New candidate," Matt informed her. Maybe she was reading too much into it, but Gabby thought he sounded nervous._

" _You didn't say anything," she couldn't help but point out._

" _I didn't know until this morning. Boden apparently got called about it last night. Not sure why we found out at the last minute. Didn't get a chance to ask," he explained._

" _Oh," she simply replied._

" _You okay?" Matt asked._

" _Yeah. I mean I knew it was coming. It's not like they could keep the spot open indefinitely. Honestly, I'm surprised it took so long to get someone permanent over here, and as much as it sucks to know that someone else is working here because I'll never get to again, at least I should be starting at 13 soon," Gabby answered. Although it did kind of feel like a nail in the coffin of her time at 51._

" _If it's any consolation, no one could ever take the place of our last candidate. She's always going to be my favorite person," Matt said._

" _I better be," Gabby smiled before leaning back down and starting another make out session._

 _She was in the process of moving back down his neck again when Matt suddenly flipped them over so that her back was against the bed and he was now on top._

" _My turn," he said with a hungry smile before leaning down and attacking her neck with vigor. It took every ounce of self-control she could muster to avoid letting out any loud moans as he moved from one sensitive spot to another with the precision of a man who knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he'd long since known exactly what he was doing when he made love to her._

 _When he was done with her neck, he placed a row of chaste kisses along her collarbone as he worked his way towards her chest. Reaching the top of her breast bone, he switched from kissing to licking as he ran his tongue down through the crevice between her breasts and then up to capture her right nipple in his mouth. After spending a few minutes sucking her nipple, he grazed his teeth against it before placing a kiss on it and then once again running his tongue on her right breast. Only this time he licked his way down, over the valley between them, and up to her left nipple, where he repeated the same treatment he'd given the right one._

 _Once he was done with her left nipple, he didn't continue to work his way down her body. Instead he bypassed her stomach and slid down her body so that he could turn his attention towards her lower half. When he was positioned so that his face was hovering a few inches above her crotch, he stopped moving his body, and reached out for her. He ran his hand up and down the length of the inside of her left leg several times._

" _Such a beautiful leg. I've missed it," he murmured._

" _Matt," she couldn't help laughing even if it was kind of cute._

 _Without warning, he suddenly pulled his hand away from the inside of her knee, replacing it with his lips. His hand had been on its way down, but he didn't continue the descent. Instead he slowly kissed and nipped his way up her thigh._

" _Oh Baby," she couldn't help but moan as his lips found her clit._

 _He looked up, a proud smile on his face as the sound left her mouth._

" _Sshh remember," he whispered before placing a kiss on her clit before switching to lightly sucking it and then ultimately massaging it with his tongue. After several minutes, Matt's tongue slowly made its way down and ultimately inside her._

 _Gabby tried to keep quiet as he worked her from the inside while also using his fingers to pay sufficient attention to her clit. She was amazed that she was able to maintain so much control; her moans were infrequent and came out barely as whimpers. The things Matt knew how to do with his mouth and hands were incredible, and he was doing all of them. If they were at home, there was no doubt that he'd be able to hear just how much pleasure he was giving her._

 _She was on the verge of cumming when suddenly there was another knock on the door. Matt pulled away from her, leaving her very unsatisfied. It was the right thing to do though. Whoever was on the other side of the door could get no hint as to what was actually going on in the confines of the office._

 _They both slightly tensed up at the intrusion, but they lay still and perfectly silent, hoping that whoever Matt's visitor was would just assume he was asleep and go away. That didn't do the trick though as a minute later there was a second knock, and this time it was accompanied by a voice._

" _Casey," Shay called._

" _What?" he begrudgingly replied through the closed door._

" _Can you open up?" Shay asked._

" _Headache. Trying to sleep," Matt replied._

" _Alright. Well, have you heard anything from Dawson yet?" Shay queried._

" _Nope," he simply answered._

" _Can you let me know when you do? Need to know how it went for the party planning," Shay requested._

" _Sure," Matt said._

" _Thanks Casey," Shay said. "Feel better."_

 _Matt and Gabby continued to lay in complete silence until they were sure Shay was gone._

" _Oh my God," Gabby couldn't help laughing and shaking her head at the fact that they'd now been interrupted twice and apparently without giving off any indication of what they were doing. "I feel like I'm fifteen again and trying not to get caught going to third base with Pablo Sanchez in the girls' locker room during free period."_

 _Judging by the look on Matt's face, that was not the right thing to say._

" _Hey, what's wrong?" she turned more serious and began stroking the back of his neck. He didn't make any move to reply though. "What's going on in there?"_

" _You chose now to reminisce about some other guy touching you," Matt sighed._

" _That's not what I was doing. Trust me he's not exactly someone I want to reminisce about," Gabby protested. "It was just supposed to be some harmless comment about sneaking around and how close we've come to getting caught."_

" _Well, hearing about some other guy touching you isn't exactly a turn on," Matt pointed out._

 _Okay, she could give him that. She didn't exactly like thinking about what his sex life was like with Hallie or any other woman. Still, it wasn't like that was what she'd brought up. He was completely overreacting._

" _You're jealous," she observed. "There's no need to be. It was a long time ago. Years before we even met. If I'd known you back then, I'm pretty sure you'd have been the only guy I wanted touching me," she paused for a moment to see if it got a response. It didn't. "Besides, he may have been my first, but you're going to be my last and my only for the rest of my life. I know I'd much rather have you that way, and I'm glad to be that for you. You going to tell me you don't feel the same way."_

" _Great," Matt muttered. "Now instead of the image of you naked, leaning against a bunch of lockers, and moaning while some guy fingers you, now he's naked too and your legs are wrapped around his waist while he's –"_

 _Hearing enough, Gabby quickly silenced him with a kiss._

" _I'm sorry," she said once their lips had parted. "That's not what I was trying to do. Let's just get those images out of your head. They're not even how any of it happened."_

" _Like the details of how some other guy touched you and had sex with you really matter," Matt responded._

" _Fair point, but I'm here with you now. You're the one touching me now and forever. That's just how I want it. And you're significantly better with every part of your body that he was. Bigger too," yes she was playing to his male ego, but it was also all true. She'd never had anything physically or emotionally that came close to what she had with Matt. Maybe the latter had something to do with the former. She didn't know or really care. All that mattered was that she had Matt. "And you're a thousand times the man he could ever hope to be. What happened in my past doesn't matter because I have you. I love you. Now what do you say we work on getting those images out of your head."_

 _With that Gabby pulled him towards her and once again captured his lips in a kiss. The taste of her juices on his lips, making her smile inside. As she darted her tongue into his mouth, she slid her hand down his chest. Her hand briefly stopped to play with his chest hair before continuing its downward descent until she reached his now somewhat less hard member. Given what he'd said earlier, she wasn't surprised to find that her comment hadn't been harmless, that he'd actually found it to be a turn off. She was pretty sure this was the first time she'd ever managed to reduce his arousal, and she definitely intended to do something about it, to work him back to the state he had been in before. She started slowly stoking him again, picking up just a little bit of speed with each stroke. When she'd reached the pace she wanted, she moved a couple of her fingers and starting to play with his balls as well while making sure to focus sufficient attention on his member._

 _After a while, Matt moved her hand. At first, Gabby was confused as to why. Did he want to stop? After her comment earlier, was he no longer in the mood to make love? He didn't stop kissing her though. He just kept holding her hand with one of his while he the other he cupped her face as they continued to make out. Then when she was least expecting it, he slowly entered her._

 _At first, he moved in and out of her at an obnoxiously slow pace, but they eventually they found that familiar, comfortable rhythm that they both deeply enjoyed. They moved together as if it was the most natural thing in the world, lips and kisses continually silencing each other's moans. Matt continually hitting that oh so sweet spot that no one else had ever discovered. Feeling herself getting close, Gabby wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into her than he'd been in eight weeks._

 _When she finally came, Gabby bit down on Matt's lower lip, needing some additional form of release that didn't involve her voice. The beginning of her orgasm was enough to send Matt over the edge, and barely seconds later their orgasms were blending together and creating a sense of pure bliss._

 _Matt thrust a few more times as they came down from their high. Stopping deep within her, he placed one last kiss on her lips. Unlike the make out session that accompanied their love making, this one was chaste, but it held just as much meaning._

" _I love you too," he whispered as he slowly pulled out of her, making her miss the feel of him inside her. Her vagina felt empty without its partner, but round two would probably just be pressing their luck. He rolled off of her and onto his side, pulling her into an embrace._

" _God, office sex is amazing," Gabby said as soon as she'd caught her breath._

" _That's because you're amazing," Matt replied as he placed another kiss on her, this time on her forehead._

" _So what's this party Shay was talking about?" Gabby asked in part because she was curious and in part because she needed to change the subject before she wound up blushing uncontrollably._

" _Wouldn't you like to know," was Matt's only answer._

" _Matt, come on," she didn't want to beg but truthfully she wasn't above it._

" _It's a 51 thing," he said. That was not the right thing to say. Didn't matter where she worked; she was still 51, and he knew it. If he didn't, the glare she was giving him should have told him. "Look, it's not that I don't want to tell you," he added as he started playing with her fingers. "It's just I'm sworn to secrecy, and I can't break my word."_

" _Oh, I have ways of getting something out of you," she promised as she hopped out of bed and reached for the pile of clothes she'd left on the floor. He was definitely not getting cuddly pillow talk now. If she could manage it, he wouldn't be seeing let alone touching her naked body again until he let the cat out of the bag._

" _I know you do," Matt sighed as he watched her get dressed._

 _When all she had left to do was pull her t-shirt over her head, he got out and followed suit. There was no reason to punish herself by not watching him get dressed, right? Sitting down on the bed, she watched as he scanned the floor for wherever his boxers had wound up. She noticed that they were draped over his chair but wasn't going to say anything. He found them eventually though, throwing them on and then grabbing the rest of his uniform, starting with the gray short-sleeved polo and then his pants, belt, and shoes. Now what other reason did she have for sticking around?_

" _Oh my God," Gabby suddenly exclaimed. To Matt it must have seemed like it came out of nowhere, and in a way it had, a sudden realization hitting her and prompting the exclamation. "I'm not supposed to be here. No one has any idea I'm here."_

" _Yeah," Matt said as if he wasn't following._

" _So I can't just walk out that door and through the bunk room and the hall, past the common room, and across the apparatus floor," Gabby explained. "People are gonna see me. They're gonna no I was here and none of them knew. Shay and Cruz both know that you've been in here with the door and blinds closed claiming a headache. Everyone else probably does too. I'm pretty sure Cruz also knows you locked the door. They're gonna figure everything out, and I really don't think Boden's going to be okay with us having sex in your office even if you ignore all the history around us and him and 51. This is still a workplace."_

" _So what are you saying? You wanna hide in my office until we get another call and hope everyone gets called out so that we're all gone?" Matt asked._

" _No. Although I guess I will if there's no other option. What we really need though is some other way to get me out of here. We need to sneak me out," Gabby said before going and creating a discrete opening in the blinds that was just small enough for her to see into the bunkroom. "Damn it. Otis and Cruz are in there. I can't go that way at all."_

" _You know the windows do open," Matt pointed out. "You can get out that way."_

" _I didn't even think of that," Gabby said as she started moving towards the windows._

" _Let's just make the bed first and then I'll hoist you up," Matt requested. "No evidence, remember?"_

" _Don't pretend that you can't make the bed yourself," Gabby countered._

" _It's not that I can't, but you were the one who first unmade it," Matt replied._

" _Would you have preferred I sit around naked and exposed when there was no guarantee that you were going to walk into your office alone or that someone else wouldn't find me first?" Gabby retorted._

" _No," Matt grumbled as a look of horror flashed across his face. "It's bad enough that Mills knows what you look like naked, but at least he's on Squad. If any of my guys saw you like that…" his voice trailed off._

" _So that's why you helped get Mills on Squad," Gabby chuckled. "Couldn't stand the thought that my ex was working for you, huh?"_

" _He had earned it," Matt defended himself as he went to start making the bed. Taking pity on him, Gabby did ultimately join him, and a minute later the small room was void of any evidence of their earlier activities._

" _So I guess it's time to go," Gabby said as she leaned against the wall with the exterior windows._

" _Guess so," Matt replied. "I'll see you at home in the morning."_

" _Definitely," Gabby offered him a small smile. "And maybe then you'll tell me about this party."_

 _Instead of responding, Matt simply pulled her into a hug and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. When he pulled away, he went and opened one of the windows. He lifted her up so that she was able to grab hold of the opening and pull herself through._

* * *

Matt was sitting at Gabby's bedside and holding her hand while Antonio sat next to him, and Camila and Ramon were seated on the other side. He got the impression it was Saturday afternoon. The fact that Antonio had been here all day today but only in the evening yesterday seemed to support that, but he didn't really care enough to look at a calendar. It would just be more painful evidence of how long Gabby's coma had dragged on. He was waiting anxiously for a call or text indicating that one or both of his visitors had arrived.

Almost as if on cue, his phone buzzed. Reaching for it, he saw a text from Severide. Punching in his password he brought up the message.

"Just parking the car. Where do u want to meet?" it read.

"Lobby by the stairs," he wrote back, as always not wanting to leave Gabby's side but for once believing it was for the best.

On any other occasion, he would have just told Severide to come up to Gabby's room, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't have this conversation in Gabby's presence or her family's. Although he was worried that he was going to have to relay everything to them after the fact. Ironically, it was the sort of thing that if circumstances were different he would have gone to Antonio for help with, but circumstances weren't different. There were so many reasons why the thought of Antonio knowing caused a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Be there in a minute," Severide texted back.

"Hey Baby, I have to step out for a little bit, but I'll be back as soon as I can, promise. I love you," he squeezed her hand before placing a kiss on her forehead and then another one on her lips before starting to walk out of the room. "Maybe you'll have some good news for me when I get back."

"Matt, is everything okay?" Camila called after him. While on its face, Matt stepping out for a little bit was nothing to be concerned about, it struck her as odd. The sight of the man leaving her daughter's hospital room of his own accord was rare. Leaving for no apparent reason was something she was pretty sure she'd never seen before.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Matt replied before hastening his exit. He didn't want to have to explain where he was going and what he was doing until he knew how much he was going to tell them, and he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to make up a sufficient excuse on the spot. Maybe he should have thought of one beforehand, but it was too late now.

"Do you want company?" Camila called after him.

"I'm fine," he stuck his head back into the room. "I'll explain when I get back."

He stayed in the doorway long enough to see Camila nod in response, and then he was off towards the elevator and the lobby, not sure what to expect or hope for out of his meeting. Stepping out of the elevator once it reached the first floor, he spotted Severide just walking out of the revolving door. He motioned with his head towards the stairs. He wasn't sure if his fellow lieutenant caught it or not but it was the designated meeting place so as he turned away from Severide to walk towards the potted plant he'd used to help hide from Beth, he figured it didn't matter.

"I texted Newhouse as I was getting out of the car to let him know that this was where we were meeting," Severide said as he approached.

"Thanks," Matt replied.

Several weeks ago, Severide had relayed that Newhouse's initial background check and investigation into Beth hadn't shown anything to be concerned about. There were no alarm bells or any indication of why she'd latched onto Matt after their one night stand. As far as Newhouse had been able to determine, she'd never done anything like that in the past. If it hadn't been for her showing up at 51 a couple of times looking for Matt, Newhouse would have just assumed she'd been exaggerating their relationship when talking to her sister-in-law for her ex-husband's sake, wanting to make sure he understood that they were over and she was moving on. Newhouse figured that there was a good chance that that was still the case and her visits to 51 had been innocent. Something where she wasn't ready for anything serious and just wanted some sort of meaningless fling or another one night stand, and she figured that Matt was open to that too so when she was in the neighborhood, she stopped by to see if he was interested in a repeat. Severide had pointed out that none of his meaningless flings had gone to such lengths to find him, not even the one's where the sex had been mind-blowing. Without much prior experience in that department, Matt didn't know who was more likely to be right, but he did take comfort in the fact that Newhouse believed she was most likely harmless and that worst case, she was nuisance that he was going to have to deal with at some point.

Now though he wasn't so sure. Going from hospital to hospital asking about coma patients in an attempt to find him did not feel harmless. It felt obsessive, and that in itself was an alarm bell as far he was concerned. It worried him. What would happen if she actually did manage to track him down? It wasn't just that he was nervous about how Gabby's family would react, but he was worried for Gabby. This woman seemed delusional, but was she dangerous? Would she try to hurt Gabby? He had no idea, but it wasn't something he could just leave alone while he waited to see what happened. The risk was too great so after he'd discovered Beth at the hospital last week, he'd asked Newhouse to take another look and dig deeper.

"How's Dawson?" Severide asked, pulling Matt's attention back to the moment. Severide was debating asking how Casey was doing as well even though he always got one of three answers. Either an aggravated okay, that how he was doing didn't matter, or that he'd be fine once Gabby was. The whole thing almost made asking the question pointless, but how could he not when he was worried about his friend? Before Severide could make up his mind though, Casey answered the first question.

"The same," Matt sadly replied before getting frustrated and raising his voice. "I don't understand why she's not getting better."

"What do the doctor's say?" Severide asked just as Matt punched the wall, startling some of the other people in the lobby. "Hey, hey, hey. You're not doing Dawson or yourself any good."

"I know. I just wish I knew, or at least someone knew, how to help her. The doctors don't even know anything. They've started saying **if** she wakes up. I swear sometimes I just want to smack them for it. It's **when** she wakes up not if," Matt said.

"Case," Severide started to say before being interrupted.

"No, not you too," Matt was practically glaring at him now. "This is Gabby we're talking about. She's strong. She's a fighter. There's no way Gabby's given up on herself so don't you dare give up on her. She's going to make it through this. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't know her."

"That's not what I was going to say. I was just going to tell you to hang in there and that assaulting doctors isn't going to do you or Dawson any good," Severide responded. Not that he didn't think the doctors had a point, but he knew there was no point in getting into it with Casey now. The man was going to believe what he needed to believe no matter what anyone said. At this point, a change in subject was probably in order. "So the new candidate started yesterday."

"I don't care," Matt shot back.

"Name's Ethan Morena. Seems like a good kid," Severide ignored him. "Listened to Hermann. Was good about holding back and observing on calls. Did all the chores without complaint. They drilled him a little and from what I could see, he's a natural."

"I don't care how good he is, I want him off my Truck," Matt replied.

"You haven't even met him," Severide pointed out.

"I don't need to meet him to hate him," Matt countered. "He shouldn't even be there. That's Gabby's spot, and she did nothing to deserve losing it. The only reason the kid's there is because Gabby got hurt."

"That would be the case for anyone assigned to Truck 81," Severide argued. Truth be told he hadn't really made the connection between the new candidate and Dawson's accident. If he had, he wouldn't have brought it up. "The kid had nothing to do with it though. You can't really hold it against him."

"Yes, I can," Matt disagreed.

"Lieutenants," Newhouse said as he arrived interrupting their conversation.

"Thanks for doing this," Matt greeted the former member of Squad 3. "I only asked you two to meet me here because I figured this was a landmark that would make it easier for us to find each other. I do not want to stay here. I had to hide back here when Beth came looking for me. At some point, she may figure out that one of the hospitals lied to her and come back."

"Where do you want to go then?" Severide asked.

"Let's see if one of the meeting rooms is free," Matt suggested. He figured there was little to no chance Camila, Ramon, or Antonio would head to the meeting rooms and spot them whereas if they went to the cafeteria it was entirely possible that a member of Gabby's family would get hungry or thirsty, come down, see them, and maybe even try to join them.

"Works for me," Newhouse said and with that the three men were off.

When they reached the meeting rooms, they found most of them unoccupied and decided to use the smallest room since there were only three of them. This room only had one smaller table with six chairs around it. Matt sat on one side of the table with his back to the door while Severide and Newhouse sat on the other.

"What did you find?" Matt asked as soon as the three men were seated.

"Full name is Bethany Cynthia Pridgen. Maiden name was Nelson. Commonly referred to as Beth. Age 32," Newhouse replied as he took out a folder and skimmed through his notes. "Nothing too remarkable about her childhood. Was born in Indianapolis and grew up in suburban Indianapolis. Father's name is Albert. He's a high school chemistry teacher in Indianapolis itself. Met her mom, Ann, at work. She was the school librarian but stopped working when Beth was two. She's their only child. She did well in school and was extremely popular. Was head cheerleader and captain of the gymnastics team. Dated the quarterback starting her sophomore year and followed him to the University of Notre Dame for college."

"So basically she grew up being the center of attention between being an only child and probably the queen bee in high school," Severide observed.

"That's what it sounds like," Newhouse agreed.

"She's probably not used to rejection, and Casey's rejected her. Maybe she just doesn't know how to handle it," Severide theorized.

"Sev, just let Newhouse talk. We can talk about what's going on once we know everything he's been able to find," Matt interjected.

"Alright so as I was saying," Newhouse continued. "She followed her high school boyfriend to college, where she dumped him and started sleeping around. About a year later, she got serious with another guy, who she dated for a year and half until the end of her junior year when it sounds like he dumped her. That's the last long-term, serious relationship I could find before Chief Pridgen. Both men are real, and I've been able to find evidence that both were real relationships.

"In college she met Chief Pridgen's sister Lori. They were sorority sisters. Although Lori was two years ahead of her. Beth majored in biology and came to Chicago after graduation for a job at a pharmaceutical company. Hated it and quit shortly after she and Pridgen got engaged to start her own interior decorating business. It did okay at first but has struggled for several years now. She's apparently difficult to work with. A lot of the reviews I was able to find online were about her digging her heels in on an idea even if the client didn't like it and being more interested in her tastes than the client's. Anyways, from what I could tell the majority of their income came from his CFD salary and not her business.

"As for her marriage to Chief Pridgen she met him through Lori about four months after she first came to Chicago so about ten years ago. From what I could find it sounds like Beth caught Pridgen's eye at Lori's birthday party so Lori set them up. He's seven years older than her and was going through a trial separation with his first wife, Kathryn. About a month after he met Beth, he formally filed for divorce. Kathryn seems to think they wouldn't have split if it wasn't for Beth. She says they were working on things and going to counseling, and then Beth showed up and he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. Was all about Beth. It was supposed to be a two-month separation, but the two months were up about a week after he met Beth. He just never came home. Instead Beth showed up one day going on about how much happier Pat was with her and warning Kathryn to stay away. I don't know if their marriage really ended because of Beth or not though. Trial separation's not typically a good sign. Anyways, they got engaged before his divorce was even finalized and married a year later. All in all, they were married for about eight years and together for nine and a half.

"Seems like the last few were kind of rough though. Beth had a stillborn two and a half years ago and a couple of miscarriages before and after. Went through a bout of depression after the stillborn. Pridgen was a battalion chief out of Firehouse 17. When McLoud closed 17 down about a year and a half ago, that battalion chief position was eliminated. The companies in the battalion that weren't based out of 17 got reassigned to other battalions as a cost saving measure. He hasn't had anything permanent since, pretty much just been bounced around to wherever someone's needed. Hasn't handled it well either; lots of drinking. Stopped and started going to AA once she kicked him out, but he started up again several weeks ago. On top of all that, Ann Nelson died unexpectedly a year ago from a brain aneurysm. From what I've been able to gather, it sounds like Chief Pridgen was too caught up in his own problems to be much of a supportive husband. After all that, Beth left him last summer. Divorce moved pretty fast and has already been finalized."

Hearing about her last few years, Matt almost felt bad for her. Almost. That would be hard for anyone to deal with. It didn't justify how she was acting in regards to him though, and that was why he couldn't quite get to feeling bad. Unless they'd completely misread the situation, and that seemed highly unlikely, she didn't deserve any sympathy from him.

"After their split, she started sleeping around again, but as far as I can tell, she hasn't latched onto anyone the way she's latched onto you Casey," Newhouse continued. "She seems to have a large group of friends, but her relationship with some of them has become strained in light of her divorce, particularly Lori Pridgen. From what I've seen, and I haven't been checking up on her when I'm on shift, she hasn't been spending a lot of time with any of her friends lately. I haven't seen her with any guys either. She's stuck to home a lot. Although I have followed her to Molly's on several occasions."

"I met her at Molly's," Matt muttered.

"Criminal record is clean. Worst thing I was able to find was a few parking tickets. That's where I stopped the first time," if Newhouse heard what Matt said, he didn't acknowledge it. "After you asked me to dig deeper, I went back and looked for things that weren't necessarily on the up and up but didn't lead to charges. Found one instance. Remember that college boyfriend? The one who dumped her? Turns out she didn't take it too well. Started showing up at his dorm room and his classes. When he began dating someone else, she started badmouthing the girl and was suspected of keying both of their cars. No one could prove it though."

"What type of sister sets someone who did that to an ex-boyfriend up with her brother?" Severide asked.

"Well, Lori had graduated at that point so she may not have known about it or maybe she didn't believe it," Newhouse supposed. "That's all I've got."

"Okay, so what do we know," Matt started. "As Sev said earlier, she's probably used to being the center of attention. She's had a lot of crappy things happen in her life the past few years, and when she hasn't been in a relationship, she has been mostly focused on having a good time. She's got some sort of fixation with me and it sounds like she maybe changed her behavior since we met. She's certainly looking to track me down. We pretty much already knew that last part though. She's ended two of the three most serious relationships she's had, and basically turned into a stalker the one time she didn't end it. And when she gets an idea in her head, she doesn't let go of it easily, and unfortunately, the idea she has in her head is that there's something between us."

"You know Pridgen's a prick, but if you take all that away you two have some things in common. You're both firefighters with the CFD. When Pridgen met Beth, he was at best taking a break from a serious relationship and at worst it was over," Severide pointed out.

"That's basically where Gabby and I had been for a couple months when I met her. We weren't together, but we'd basically promised each other someday. I told her I was just getting out of something serious," Matt recalled.

"Could she be trying to recreate the early days of her relationship with Pridgen with you?" Severide asked.

"I don't know, and I don't really care what she thinks is going on between us. At some point, I'm going to need to figure out how to get that idea out of her head, but Gabby comes first. I'll deal with that after she wakes up," Matt replied. "My main concern is whether or not she's dangerous. Sounds like she's emotionally vulnerable, maybe emotionally unstable. Could she take this beyond some sort of delusion or obsession? Could she try to hurt Gabby? She went after her ex's new girlfriend and Pridgen's first wife."

"It's a long way from keying some cars to hurting Dawson. We're talking about an inanimate object vs. a person," Severide commented.

"But that was a long time ago. Can we really just assume she hasn't made that leap, especially considering what's happened in the past few years? And what about Pridgen's ex-wife?" Matt asked.

"Beth was a bitch to her sure, but she didn't hurt her or anything. At least not physically. I wouldn't expect her to be too nice to Dawson, but I don't know if she'd do anything to physically hurt her. Woman's got issues though. That's pretty obvious," Severide answered. "What do you think Newhouse?"

"I don't know Lieutenant. I'm a PI not a shrink. I can dig up the information, but interpreting it, that's a whole nother story," Newhouse replied.

"That's fair," Severide said as Newhouse checked his watch.

"I hate to just drop this on you and run, but I've got a dance recital to get to," Newhouse said. "Give my best to Dawson. I'm pulling for her."

"Thanks," Matt replied. "For everything."

With that Newhouse took his leave.

"I don't know what to think," Matt sighed. "Other than I should have never approached Beth at the luau let alone gone home with her that night, but I already knew that. I just wish I could go back in time to before that last fight, the one that made Gabby decide she needed to leave, so I could fix things before the idea even crossed her mind. If I'd had any idea that I was pushing her away to the point where I was going to lose her, I never would have let it happen, and everything would be different. Not just in terms of not having to deal with this whole Beth mess, but everything. I wouldn't have spent two months miserable while trying to pretend I was okay, seeing Gabby at work and not really knowing how to act around her let alone be friends with her when we were so close before we ever got together. I would have been able to be there for her with Gish and Shay's death coming up again. I can't thank you enough for facing it with her, but I just wish she'd been able to lean on me. She should have been able to lean on me, but I didn't know how to be there for her after everything. And none of this would be happening right now. She wouldn't be lying in that hospital bed right now because she wouldn't have bene on that road that night. That damn accident never would have happened."

"You don't know that. For all you know Dawson would have gone out that night and still gotten in the accident," Severide argued.

"Sev, if there's one person, I know it's Gabby," Matt explained.

"Weren't you just saying that you had no idea you were going to lose her until you actually did," Severide countered.

"Just because I was too pig-headed to see what I was doing, doesn't mean I don't know my girl as well as I think I do. My problem was that I was only looking at things as a lieutenant not as the man who loves her. I was only seeing her as the candidate and not as my girl," Matt said. "But you didn't need to know Gabby to tell that she was a wreck that day. It wasn't just written all over her face, it was in everything she did and went through. All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms, but it wasn't my place anymore. If it had been, I wouldn't have just done that, I would have gone to the hospital after shift, and I would have been there for her. We would have been together that night. She wouldn't have been driving around alone."

"What's done is done. You can't go back. The question is what are you gonna do now?" Severide replied.

"I don't know," Matt shook his head. "I…I don't know what to do with all this. Need time to process it I guess."

"Well, I wouldn't mind seeing Dawson so why don't we go upstairs while you think things through?" Severide suggested.

"Yeah, I've been away from her for too long," Matt agreed.

The two men headed back to Gabby's room almost in silence. Their footsteps, the elevator, and a few doors opening and closing being the only sounds along the way until Matt was once again at Gabby's bedside.

"Hey Beautiful. I'm back, and I brought Severide with me," he said before kissing her. As he sat down, he took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips, before settling in and holding it tight.

"You said you'd explain why you left when you got back," Camila reminded him.

"Yeah. Severide insisted on filling me in on the new guy on Truck. We didn't want to discuss it here since he basically stole Gabby's job," Matt figured it wasn't a complete lie. They had talked about it. Besides, nothing that he'd learned today had changed the fact that he wasn't going to tell Gabby's family about Beth unless it was necessary to ensure her safety or keep them from finding out some other way, or the fact that if he had to admit it, he certainly would prefer to be able to tell Gabby privately first instead of having her overhear as he told her family. The problem was that he hadn't figured out if it was necessary or not so for now he'd keep quiet and hope for the best.

* * *

Author's Note: So that does it for Chapter Twenty Seven. Hope you enjoyed it. Until next time.


	28. Chapter 28

Author's Note: As always thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story after Chapter 27. And in case anyone missed it, I feel like I should mention that I posted Chapter 27 about three weeks ago when notifications were down so if you weren't aware and thus haven't read it, I suggest you hit that Previous button. Parts of this chapter may not make sense otherwise.

Also, warning, I did my best to stay ahead after getting all that writing done in December. Alas, I seem to have failed as I'm no longer an entire chapter ahead so instead of posting a new chapter every 2-3 weeks, I'm going to have to go back to posting whenever a chapter's ready. Good news is I am partway through the next chapter so hopefully, it won't be too long til I can get that up. Will try my best to me more regular with updates than I was in 2017.

Anyways, onto Chapter 28. Hope you enjoy, and when you're done please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Eight

"Antonio," the sound of Burgess's voice startled the detective as he stood in the observation room and watched Lindsay and Halstead interrogate a suspect in the drug case Intelligence had been working for the past several days.

"Yeah," he replied as he turned away from the window overlooking the interrogation room and towards the doorway where Burgess was standing.

"Do you have a minute? I think you should see this," Burgess held up a folder.

"This about the case?" Antonio asked.

"No. It's personal," she answered.

Antonio just stared at her, unsure why she'd be coming to him about something personal. They got along well enough, but he wouldn't describe them as friends.

"Personal for you," Burgess clarified when she realized he wasn't following. "It's about your sister's ex-fiancée."

"Can it wait?" he really needed to focus on their investigation, and he really couldn't imagine something urgent going on with Casey. Not with the way the man had been glued to his sister's bedside. There was no way he had recently broken the law. Not that Antonio could really picture the man doing so in the first place. And if he was in danger, it wouldn't be new. How could have pissed someone off since Gabby's accident?

"Yeah, but Roman and I need to get back on patrol," Burgess replied. "If we're not back at the district, just give me a call."

"Okay," Antonio said as he turned back towards the interrogation room.

"Oh, and Detective, I'm sorry about your sister," Burgess said. To Antonio it seemed to come out of left field. He'd understand why it was on her mind once they finally talked.

* * *

"Sarge," Antonio poked his head into Voight's office about an hour later after they'd gotten a confession out of their suspect and wrapped up the case. Behind him Ruzek was clearing off the board while Atwater mozied around the bullpen and having gotten the confession, Lindsey and Halstead were at their desks filling out paperwork. Meanwhile, Olinsky had the honor of taking the perp down to be booked. "Since this one's all set, mind if I cut out early?"

It was only two o'clock so there were technically several hours left in what would constitute a normal shift, especially when there wasn't an active case. Another case popping at this point was unpredictable, at times it felt like they went days without much going on while at other times it felt like the cases would never stop coming in. Still, it seemed like a logical point in which to leave and go see his sister, especially since he'd often been here a little later than he would have preferred while this last case.

"Go ahead, but keep your phone on just in case," Voight replied.

"Thanks," Antonio said before heading back towards his desk to gather his things.

"Hey Antonio," Atwater called as he headed towards the stairs. "Kim wanted me to remind you that she needed to talk to you."

"Right," Antonio paused momentarily. He'd been so focused on getting done here and then to the hospital that he'd all but forgotten the unusual encounter he'd had with the patrolwoman earlier. A few months ago, it was the sort of thing he would have remembered. Now though, he supposed it just showed that while he'd resumed some aspects of normal life, such as going to work, there was nothing normal about anything.

Heading down the stairs, through the gate, and into the lobby, Antonio noticed Platt standing behind her desk. There was no sign of Burgess or Roman though.

"Is Burgess around anywhere?" he called as he approached the desk.

"Well, hello to you too Detective," Platt simply said as she looked up.

"Sorry. Hello Sergeant," Antonio did his best to sound polite. "I'm looking for Officer Burgess. She said earlier that she had something she needed to talk to me about before I head to the hospital. Do you know where she is?"

"She and Roman are back there," Platt motioned to the doorway behind her.

"Thanks," Antonio replied as he headed behind the desk through the doorway, stopping when he saw the woman he was looking for.

"Burgess, I can talk now," he called. "What was so urgent?"

"Antonio," she looked up from what she was doing and took a few steps from him, grabbing the folder she had been holding outside the interrogation room earlier. "On patrol, we occasionally get information from the DMV on people who have had or are on the verge of having their license suspended or revoked. You know names, license numbers, cars registered in their name. That sort of thing."

"Yeah, I remember," Antonio commented. Despite the years that had passed, the practice had been around when he was a patrolman. The idea was that the officers on patrol should keep an eye out for signs that someone without an active license was driving and deal with it. While it wasn't something that occurred regularly, it was common when a large number of incidents occurred in a shorter timeframe.

"Well, we got a new file this morning, and there was a name I thought you would want to know about," Burgess placed the file down a table and opening up to the second page. She pointed to the fourth name down, Matthew Casey. "I assume that's the same Matthew Casey that we all know."

"It is," Antonio confirmed. He didn't know Matt's license number or anything, but he definitely recognized his sister's old address.

"Says he got a speeding ticket the morning of February 8th and has until Friday to pay it or his license will be suspended," Burgess pointed out. It was currently Wednesday. "That was the day your sister got hurt, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Antonio said. He hadn't paid particular attention to the date at the time, but it was still engraved in his memory. "Must have got it on his way to the hospital. He got there pretty early. Didn't leave at all that day and hasn't left since. Don't think there's any other way he could have gotten one that day, and honestly, considering what I told him over the phone, you can't really blame him for rushing to the hospital. Who was the issuing officer?"

Given where everything stood, Antonio didn't have the time or energy to seek the guy out, but if he saw him, he definitely was going to give the guy a piece of his mind or issuing a ticket to a man whose world was in the midst of being torn to shreds. There was such a thing as judgment, and based on what he'd seen when Matt arrived at the hospital, there was no way he wasn't visibly distraught about Gabby when he got pulled over. Judgement should have been applied here.

"Colin Carr," Burgess looked down at the file. "Think he's out of the 16th District."

"I went to the Academy with him," Roman finally piped in. "Comes from a family of cops. Not a bad guy, but also not the most polite or considerate guy. Very by the book and eager to be the best. Sees the world in black and white. Not really the kind of guy to let someone off with a warning. Probably wouldn't care what else was going on."

"I figured that with everything going on with your sister, Casey shouldn't have to deal with losing his license on top of everything, even temporarily. Thought maybe you could try to make sure this thing gets paid," Burgess explained why she had wanted to talk to him about this in the first place.

"Yeah. I'll talk to him about it. I'm sure the guy's just been too consumed with Gabby to realize he's running out of time to pay the ticket if he even remembers getting it," Antonio agreed. While moments from that day, mostly the hardest ones, were crystal clear in his memory, Antonio found that most of the day was a blur. He wouldn't be surprised if the same was true for Casey. "Thanks for letting me know about this. Matt may not say it, he's been too much of a mess, but he'll appreciate you're helping him out."

"You're welcome," Burgess replied. "He's a good guy. Doesn't deserve what I imagine he and your family have been going through. Neither do you or your sister."

"I really should be getting to the hospital. Thanks again," Antonio said before turning around and heading out of the district.

* * *

Matt took a swig from the bottle of water Camila had brought him from the cafeteria when she and Ramon returned from getting lunch about an hour ago as he realized that he probably should have thrown the remnants of the egg salad sandwich she'd brought him in a trashcan that wasn't in Gabby's room. The place was starting to smell a little too much like bad eggs. It wasn't pleasant, and if he were Gabby, it would certainly not be something he wanted to wake up to. He took a closer look at Gabby. She looked so peaceful, like she had no idea how bad it was going to smell in her room. What if she did though? He wanted so badly to believe that she could sense what was going on around her even if she couldn't wake up and interact with the world, that she knew who was there and what was being said, but if that were true, then wouldn't she also have some idea of what things smelled like? She deserved so much better than to have to smell egg salad as it went bad, especially when she wasn't in a position to do something about it. Even after all this time, the thought of leaving this room and being away from her gnawed at him. Thinking about it and doing it were both absolutely awful, but this would only take a minute.

"I'll be right back," Matt suddenly said.

"Okay," Camila replied as he got up and placed a kiss on Gabby's cheek.

"I love you. Remember that," Matt added before heading towards the trashcan.

Taking the sandwich out of it, he headed into the hall and out of the ward towards the trashcan by the elevators, where he knew the smell wouldn't bother anyone for too long. Once that was done, he headed back to Gabby's room.

"This first picture is of Carmen holding Robert in the bed. She looks exhausted. Robert's in a blue blanket, and his eyes are closed," Matt heard Ramon say as he opened the door to Gabby's room. Ramon's younger sister, Gabby's Aunt Natalia, became a grandmother for the first time yesterday when Gabby's cousin Carmen gave birth to a son, Robert Jorge, named for both of his grandfathers. The two men had died of cancer several years ago. Matt couldn't help remembering how he'd found it odd when Gabby told him that Carmen had met her husband, Kevin, because their fathers shared an oncologist. Now five years later Carmen and Kevin were parents, and Matt could only assume that Ramon had just received the first batch of pictures. It was just another milestone that Gabby was missing.

Entering the room, he headed straight for the bathroom, wanting to wash his hands after reaching into the trash. As he was doing so, he heard the door open.

"You're here early. Is everything okay?" Camila greeted whoever was at the door.

"Everything's fine. Although I do need to talk to Matt," Antonio replied. "We just closed the case we've been working so I was able to leave early."

"Have you seen the pictures your Aunt sent?" Ramon asked.

"Not yet," Antonio responded.

"I was just showing them to your sister. Come look," Ramon instructed just as Matt turned the water off.

"It's just Robert in the second picture. He's in the hospital bassinet, and his eyes are open in this one. It's hard to tell on my phone, but I think his eyes are light brown," Ramon was saying as Matt emerged from the bathroom.

"Carmen and Kevin both have brown eyes," Camila pointed out. "I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I can't think of anyone in Carmen's family at least who doesn't have brown eyes."

"Hey Matt, do you want to look at baby pictures?" Ramon noticed Matt just as he was reaching for Gabby's hand and getting ready to retake his seat.

Matt wasn't really sure what to say. He didn't want to be rude, and if things were different, he had no doubt he'd be looking at the pictures with Gabby. Still, there was something strange about celebrating a happy occasion, especially one in the Dawson family under these circumstances. Fortunately, Antonio saved him from having to respond.

"Matt, did you get a speeding ticket on your way to the hospital after Gabby got hurt?" he asked.

"I…I guess I did," Matt said after racking his memory for a minute. "Haven't thought about it since. How'd you know?"

"Came up on a list patrol got this morning. Since you haven't thought about it, you haven't paid it. You've got two more days before they suspend your license so you might want to take care of it," Antonio explained.

"I think I left it in my truck. Do I need the ticket to pay it?" Matt commented as he pulled on his vague recollection of his drive to the hospital that awful day.

"Think so. I'm sure you could go online and figure out how to pay it, but without the ticket, how would they know what you're paying?" Antonio replied.

"Is it really a big deal if I don't pay it and they suspend my license then?" Matt asked. He really didn't want to have to go out to the parking garage to get the thing.

"Matt," Camila's tone was scolding.

"Probably not ideal. I'm a cop. I've never been involved in it directly, but from what I understand and saw when I was still on patrol, you don't just go pay the ticket later. Getting your license reinstated is a lot more complicated. Plus, when you do finally leave here, you won't be able to drive. Someone is going to have to take you anywhere you need to go or want to go until this is dealt with. If you do drive and get caught, and CPD will be on the lookout, that's the point of the list, so there's a decent chance you will get caught, you could do jailtime or permanently lose your license. Do you think she'd want you to risk jail?" Antonio motioned towards Gabby. "Would you rather have to deal with all that or be at Gabby's side, supporting her through whatever comes next?"

As much as Matt hated it, Antonio had a point. If dealing with this later was just going to take time away from Gabby when she would need him, it wasn't a good idea, especially since it sounded like later would cost him more time with her than now. Still, the last thing he wanted to do at the moment was leave Gabby's room and head out to the parking garage. For a brief moment, he thought about seeing if someone on the hospital staff would take his keys and go look for the ticket for him. Unfortunately, something told him that wouldn't fly with the hospital staff or Gabby's family, particularly Camila.

"Fine," he begrudgingly said after a couple of minutes. Getting up he squeezed Gabby's hand and kissed her. "Hey beautiful. I'm sorry to have leave so quickly after just getting back here, but I'm trying to do the right thing. I know you're in good company with your family, and I won't be too long. Promise. I love you."

With that he headed towards the cot he had been sleeping on. Most of his stuff was on the floor in the corner next to the cot. Reaching down, he grabbed his keys and headed towards the door, then the elevators, and ultimately the parking garage.

When he got the garage, he realized he had no idea where he had parked. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised. Not because of how much time had passed. Although truth be told, it had been far too long since he'd been in the parking garage simply because Gabby had been in a coma for far too long. The reason he supposed he shouldn't be surprised was because the only thing on his mind the last time he'd been in this garage was getting to Gabby; he hadn't really registered anything else.

Without knowing where he needed to go, Matt was left with no choice but to wander around the parking garage until he found his truck. After about ten minutes, he did manage to find it parked near a corner on the third floor. Opening the passenger's door, he found the ticket on the seat just like he had been expecting. He grabbed it and headed back to Gabby.

"Did you find it?" Camila asked as he opened the door.

"Yeah," he replied, holding up the ticket. "Now I just need to figure out how to pay it."

"Do you have your checkbook?" she asked. Camila considered herself a good driver, but she had gotten a few tickets in the course of her life. In her experience, a check was the easiest way to pay them.

"Not here," Matt said. It wasn't something he carried with him. It wouldn't fit in his pocket, and it's not like he wrote checks often let alone on a regular basis. He kept it in a drawer at home and pulled it out a few times a year. "I'm sure I could get Severide to bring it if it's the only option though."

Approaching Gabby's bed, he leaned down to kiss her before taking a seat. He'd have to wait to take her hand. Once he had it clasped in his, he had no intention of letting it go.

"That took longer than I expected, but I'm back," he told her. "And I promise I'm not leaving again any time soon. Certainly not today."

Turning his attention back to the ticket, he scanned it quickly.

"It says I can pay it online," he observed before getting up again to grab his phone and wallet.

Returning to his chair, he opened the internet app on his phone and went straight to the website where it said he could pay the ticket. Following the instructions, he entered the necessary information, and in a matter of minutes, the ticket was paid. Not wanting to get up again, he threw his wallet and credit card on the stand next to Gabby's bed.

Reaching for her hand, he couldn't help but sigh. One unfortunate problem had been dealt with, and he was free to focus on the only thing that really mattered to him at this point. The woman lying before him. His Gabby.

* * *

 _Gabby made her way up the street and towards Firehouse 51. After escaping Matt's office, she'd headed back towards the line of trees behind the firehouse. When hidden behind them, she'd pulled a compact out of her bag, looking herself over to make sure she didn't look like she'd just had sex. When satisfied, she'd used the trees to hide from prying eyes until she made it up the block and to a cross street, at which point she emerged and started following the sidewalk back. This way no one of significance would be able to tell that she was going to the same place she was coming from._

 _She may have just had some unplanned private time with Matt in his office, but he wasn't the only one she'd wanted to see when she came here this afternoon. Plus, it would be nice to spend time with everyone at the firehouse one last time. Her rendezvous with Matt didn't change that. She'd known she'd be returning before she climbed out the window. Sure, Matt didn't know her plans. She'd told him that she'd see him at home, but it hadn't really been a lie. In her time wandering around the house when she first got here today she'd realized that the knowledge that she no longer worked here, didn't make the place feel any less like home._

" _Hey, look who's up and walking," Severide was the first to spot her from his seat at the head of the squad table as she approached the apparatus floor._

" _Yeah, it's all healed up," she did a little twirl in response._

" _Congrats Gabby," Mills said as he stood up and moved to give her a quick hug. "You all cleared to start at 13?"_

" _Not yet. Doc wanted to make sure I didn't have any trouble moving around after being off my leg for so long," Gabby explained. "Supposed to go back next week. Hopefully, then."_

" _Do I hear my girl?" Shay called as she stuck her head out of the back of 61. "Yes, I do and looks like the cast's off. Good for you."_

" _Thanks Shay," Gabby smiled as Shay fully emerged. She had to admit though it was a little weird to be here and see shift going on without her._

" _Hi Dawson. Good to see you," Brett followed Shay out of 61._

" _Perfect timing. What do you say you save me from inventory?" Shay asked as she threw an arm around Gabby._

" _I'd love to, but first, do you know where Matt is? Got something to show him" she didn't know if he was still in his office pretending to have a headache or if he'd headed out to join the guys once she'd left._

" _Not positive, but he was in his office with a headache earlier," Shay replied._

" _Thanks. I'll be back in a bit," Gabby said._

" _Fine, leave us to do inventory. Rub in the fact that you don't have to anymore," Shay called after Gabby as she made her way into the firehouse._

 _She bypassed the common room, heading in through the other set of doors, figuring she'd go to Matt's office first, based on what Shay had told her, and then go see the rest of the guys. It was best to act like she hadn't already seen Matt. She didn't have to go very far though. She'd taken two steps into the firehouse when she saw him emerge from the bathroom just as Cruz and Otis turned a corner, walking towards her._

" _Matt," she called since it didn't appear he had noticed her._

" _Gabby," he called back as he turned to face her, clearly surprised, which was good. She wanted him surprised to see her so that no one would be able to figure out that he'd already seen her. That was why she hadn't told him she was coming back. "What are you doing here?"_

" _I left the doctor's and just wanted to give everyone, especially you, the news in person. Notice anything different?" she motioned towards her leg, hoping to subtlety remind him that he wasn't supposed to already know how her doctor's appointment went._

" _No cast and crutches," he smiled as they continued to approach each other. "Clean bill of health then?"_

" _Yup. Just need to prove than I'm not having any trouble being back on my leg," she replied._

" _Good," Matt replied before pulling her into a hug and placing a kiss on his lips. She had to admit as great as the sneaking around to have office sex had been earlier and as much as she was going to miss working at 51, it was nice to be able to act like a couple here._

 _After the kiss, Matt pulled away just enough to whisper in her ear._

" _I thought you were going home," he pointed out._

" _I know, but I wanted to be able to hang out with everybody," she replied._

" _Lieutenant, how's your head?" Cruz asked as he and Otis passed._

" _Better. Thanks," Matt answered._

" _Hey Dawson," Otis said. That must have triggered something in Matt because suddenly he'd turned back towards her._

" _I wasn't feeling well earlier," he explained even though they both knew what he'd told Cruz and Shay earlier._

" _Shay mentioned you had a headache," she said, grateful Shay had. It explained why she wasn't surprised by Cruz's question._

" _So that's why you're here. Checking up on me," Matt teased._

" _You wish," she told him. "I just ran into her on the floor. Speaking of, I did promise her some time after I found you."_

" _So that's where I stand, huh? Just a quick update and then you're off to be with Shay," Matt pretended to be offended._

" _You know exactly where you stand," she gave him a seductive smile to remind him of what she'd really done when she finished up with the doctor before turning around and heading back to the apparatus floor in search of Shay._

 _When she reached 61, she found the doors closed. Opening them up, there was no sign of Shay or Brett in the ambo. Turning towards the Squad table, she spotted just Capp and Tony. Everyone else seemingly having gone during her short time inside._

" _Shay and Brett headed in," Capp called as he noticed her._

" _Thanks," she said before heading inside, where she spotted Shay sitting at the small round table with Severide, Brett leaning against the couch talking with Cruz and Otis, Mouch and Matt both sitting in their usual spots and most of the rest of the guys hanging around._

" _Hey Dawson," Hermann was the first to spot her. "We heard you were roaming around here somewhere. Looks like it won't be long before you're running into burning buildings again."_

" _Hopefully not," Gabby replied. Although she kept an eye on Matt. She could have sworn she saw him tense a bit at the mention of her running into burning buildings._

 _She didn't have a chance to examine it too much though because Hermann moved to give her a hug, followed by the rest of the guys who hadn't already greeted her. When they were done, she noticed a young man she didn't recognize standing awkwardly in front of the counter._

" _I don't bite," she told him._

" _Uhhh…Sorry…Billy Ross," he gave her a smile as he introduced himself._

" _New candidate," she observed._

" _How did you know?" he asked._

" _It says candidate on your shirt," she pointed out. "And well I know everyone else here so you must be new."_

" _Oh right," he said sheepishly as he looked down at his uniform. "It's my first day."_

" _Well, you couldn't have found yourself with a better group of guys," she offered sincerely. "It's a great house."_

" _Thanks. So do you come here often…I'm sorry I didn't get your name," the new guy smiled at her again._

" _It's Dawson, and I'm a firefighter out of 13. Same shift but I used to work here," she explained._

" _Oh. So you're not normally here anymore?" he followed up._

" _No. It's actually my spot you took," she said as Matt came up to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, something about how he did it telling her that he didn't like how this candidate was looking at her._

" _Ross, the toilets need a good scrubbing," Matt interjected. Yup, he definitely didn't like it._

" _Yes sir," Ross replied, giving the impression that he wasn't sure what he had done._

" _How long you staying?" Matt turned to her once Ross was out of the room._

" _Don't know. Probably until I get tired or well you know," she was trying to allude to a call coming in without mentioning it, not wanting to jinx them._

" _How'd you get here anywhere? You haven't been driving," he asked._

" _I walked from Dr. Stoddard's office. It wasn't that far," she replied._

" _You okay? Under normal circumstances it's at least a fifteen or twenty minute walk, but you've been off your feet for weeks. Walking that much so soon. Was that really a good idea?" he sounded worried._

" _I'm fine Matt. I made sure I got some rest between when I left Dr. Stoddard's and now," she smiled at him in a way intended to remind him that he'd found her lying in his bed earlier. "And it's not like I'm limping or anything. I'm sure it was good exercise."_

" _Well, if you're all good standing and walking around and everything, do you want to take Molly's for me tomorrow night?" Otis suddenly asked._

" _That depends. What do you have going on?" she queried back. The idea of working Molly's was rather appealing after so much time off. With the crutches and full leg cast, she hadn't been able to work the bar or waitress. All she'd been able to do was occasionally supervise deliveries with Matt's help; he'd had to drive her and help with any lifting. Sure, she'd been to Molly's multiple times since the warehouse fire but mostly as a patron. She hadn't felt like she was pulling her weight though. Shay, Hermann, Otis, and the rest of their staff had undoubtedly worked extra hours to cover for her so of course she was willing to cover for Otis now. It's just he rarely asked to swap or anything so she couldn't help being curious._

" _There's a Battlestar Galactica convention down in Springfield," Otis said without the least hint of embarrassment._

" _The woman across the hall invited him to go with her," Cruz piped in._

" _So you've got a date," Shay interjected._

" _Well, I don't know about a date. She saw my helmet one day when she stopped by looking for aspirin. We're both fans," Otis explained._

" _But you want it to be," Shay observed._

" _She's great," was all Otis said in response._

" _Of course I'll cover," Gabby finally answered after getting the explanation. "Have fun and good luck."_

" _Thanks," Otis replied._

" _Dawson," a deep voice that could only belong to Chief Boden suddenly came from behind her. Turning around, she saw the man near the door that led to the office area. He must have entered the common room that way._

" _Hi Chief. I thought I'd stop by and hang out. Hope that's okay," she said suddenly nervous. She didn't know how much damage Matt saving her had done to his relationship with the Chief, but Boden clearly had not been happy that their relationship creeped into 51 on that call. It seemed like there was a chance that her being here was doing the same thing and she was making things worse for Matt._

" _Of course it's okay. You're always welcome here," the Chief replied as he poured himself a glass of water._

" _Just as a guest and not an employee," she said with a hint of bitterness that she hadn't realized she was holding onto._

" _Dawson, you know why you and Casey can't work together," Boden pointed out._

" _Still not fair," she mumbled as Matt started rubbing her back in what was undoubtedly an attempt to keep her calm._

" _Dawson," Boden started, the tone of his voice indicating that he wasn't in the mood to lecture her._

 _At that moment, Cruz's stomach let out a growl. Looking up and at the clock, Gabby realized that it was already after five._

" _Why don't I make dinner," she suggested in part hoping it would diffuse the situation she'd inadvertently created with Boden and in part because she really did want to cook for everyone._

" _You know it's not your job to cook for the house anymore," Matt said._

" _Lieutenant, I know you get Dawson's cooking all the time, but do you really want Ross making dinner? I know he's the candidate now, but I don't think he knows how to cook. I mean he made peanut butter and jelly for lunch," Cruz protested._

" _You're one to talk about cooking skills," Shay turned her teasing to Cruz._

" _Hey, don't knock his cooking," Brett suddenly defended her boyfriend._

" _You seriously think he's a good cook," Shay's voice was filled with disbelief. "The food must be pretty bad in Fowlerton. Do you remember the meatballs that were somehow burnt on the outside and raw on the inside from Friday? I guess it was better than the time he turned the timer on but not the oven and then tried serving us raw chicken."_

" _We've been working on it," Brett replied._

" _You seriously have a problem with PB &J?" Gabby couldn't help join in on the teasing, thankful that Shay had helped lighten the mood._

" _No, I make it all the time at home," Cruz admitted._

" _Because you can't cook," Shay laughed. "Hate to say it Casey, but he's probably right. We're in for a long year with Ross cooking for us."_

" _And I know it's not my job anymore, but I really wouldn't mind cooking. I'd actually really enjoy it. Now whose up for butternut squash soup?" Gabby said, remembering that she'd surprisingly seen squash in the fridge earlier._

" _In the summer?" Hermann commented._

" _It was the first thing I cooked for 51. Seems fitting that it would also be the last," Gabby replied._

" _Awww, don't put it that way," Shay said sadly._

" _Soup sounds great," Matt said._

" _Then it's settled," Gabby smiled before heading into the kitchen. Once she'd taken out all the ingredients she needed for the soup and got started, Shay joined her._

" _So what happened to inventory?" Gabby asked as she worked._

" _Why, you miss it?" Shay replied._

" _Definitely not," Gabby answered with a laugh. "But you had basically asked me to distract you from doing it earlier."_

" _We had less left than I thought. Finished a couple minutes before you came in here," Shay explained._

" _You're working Molly's with me tomorrow, right?" Gabby asked as she wiped a tear from her eye. Damn onions. She should have chopped something else first and saved them for last._

" _Yup. Little working girls' night," Shay said only for Gabby to make a face. "Okay, that came out wrong."_

" _Yeah it did, but I know what you meant," Gabby let out a chuckle. "So aside from work got any plans for the weekend?"_

" _Nothing definitive. Trina and I are planning on doing something, but we don't know what yet," Shay replied. "Why? You wanna hang out?"_

" _So you don't have any plans for a party or anything?" Gabby ignored Shay's question and proceeded forth with her own._

" _Party? What party? Why would I be going to a party?" Shay said a little too quickly as she eyed Gabby suspiciously._

" _Yeah, sure," Gabby's voice was filled with disbelief. It was so obvious Shay was lying or at least trying to avoid. She just didn't understand why no one would tell her about whatever this party was._

" _Where would you even get the idea that I was had plans for a party?" Shay asked. When Gabby looked away instead of responding, Shay suddenly squealed. "Oh my God."_

" _What's going on over there?" Mouch turned his attention from the TV to them._

" _Nothing," Gabby tried to say even though she wasn't completely sure what prompted Shay's outburst._

" _Yeah, that's why Shay's all excited," Hermann observed. Gabby had to admit that even after all this time, she was still somewhat amazed at how nosy the guys could be. Sure, she was kind of used to it with Cruz and Otis, but it always seemed so much more random with Hermann and Mouch._

" _We were talking about dress shopping," Shay deflected._

" _What's so special about dress shopping?" Mouch asked._

" _Not regular dress shopping, wedding dress shopping. I just realized that Dawson and Casey can finally start getting serious about their wedding," Shay clarified._

" _Alright. We were definitely not talking about my wedding so why did you really just burst?" Gabby quietly asked when after a minute or two no one else had questioned or even replied to Shay's explanation. Wedding dresses were clearly a topic the guys wanted to stay far away from._

" _You were in Casey's office earlier, weren't you?" Shay whispered back._

" _I…I don't know what you mean," Gabby stammered. "I came straight here from my doctor's appointment."_

" _Yeah, headache my ass. That's why you were asking about parties. You overhead me mention it to Casey," Shay ignored Gabby's protest and theorized. "How else would you know. Casey wouldn't have told you and even if he was going to, he wouldn't have had a chance. We only started talking about it this morning."_

" _What are you talking about?" Gabby asked. "What's this party?"_

" _That's not important," Shay countered. "And just because you came here straight from your doctor's appointment doesn't mean when we first saw you on the apparatus floor was when you first got here. You show up and Casey suddenly isn't locked in his office with the blinds down and a headache. Doesn't really sound like a coincidence to me."_

" _Fine," Gabby reluctantly admitted. Why was it so hard for her to keep things from Shay? "I got here while you guys were all out. Snuck out through the window in Matt's office and make my way back around. Happy now?"_

" _I knew it. You little slut," Shay someone managed to keep her voice down._

" _Just because you're never going to get to experience the greatness that is firehouse office sex, don't take it out on me," Gabby replied._

" _Oh yeah because I don't find the thought of touching Casey or Severide's dick disgusting," Shay demurred._

" _Hey, there is nothing disgusting about touching Matt's –" Gabby started to say._

" _I know you don't think so," Shay cut her off._

" _And you don't think that this little detour got you out of telling me about this little party," Gabby changed the subject as she finished chopping and started putting everything into the pot._

" _It's nothing," Shay tried._

" _Which is exactly why you and Matt are refusing to tell me anything about it," Gabby countered. "Don't think I don't have ways of getting information out of him."_

" _Alright. We were talking about doing something to welcome Ross to 51," Shay claimed. "We weren't sure how to tell you since as you pointed out earlier, he's taking your spot."_

" _And what does that have to do with how my leg is?" Gabby followed up as everything started to boil._

" _Figured it might feel less like we were rubbing things if you were already working at 13," Shay said while Gabby set the timer._

" _Okay," she wasn't sure if she completely believed Shay, but the idea that they'd want to spare her feelings made sense. It just seemed a little odd that Shay would be the one planning the party. She'd have to see if when she managed to get the story out of Matt, it was the same._

 _She didn't need to stay by the stove and watch the soup simmer so when she noticed Severide get up and head out of the common room, she motioned to Shay to join her at the now empty small table. They had been sitting for about five minutes when Ross came back in and made a beeline for them._

" _Hey Dawson," he said as he approached them._

" _Hi Ross," she replied._

" _Did you do your candidacy here?" he asked as he took a seat._

" _Yup," she answered._

" _Any advice?" he questioned._

" _Just keep your head down and listen. They'll work you hard, but you'll learn a lot from them. And they'll have your back. It's a real family here," she answered._

" _And I'm responsible for doing all the chores. Cooking, cleaning. Not just drilling and firefighting and learning. How did you get through it?" he asked._

" _You just got to understand that paying your dues is part of the job. Every other firefighter in here did at one point," Gabby told him. "And I love to cook so I enjoyed that part of it."_

" _Do you think you could teach me then? I've never really cooked. I think I'm just going to make a fool of myself," Ross requested._

" _Ummm," Gabby started to say while she tried to figure out how to respond._

" _Stop right there candidate," Shay suddenly broke into the conversation._

" _What?" Ross seemed confused. Meanwhile Gabby repositioned her hand so that her ring was visible and in his line of sight. "You're engaged."_

" _Yup," Gabby replied as her eyes naturally started scanning the room for Matt. He wasn't still there though. Maybe that was why Ross had made it to the table without drawing Matt's attention._

" _Lucky guy," Ross muttered._

" _That lucky guy's Casey," Shay said as a look of horror crossed the candidate's face. "Why do you think you wound up having to scrub the toilet?"_

" _Oh God. Should I say something? Apologize?" Ross asked confirming that he had been interested in her._

" _Probably best not to acknowledge it. Just keep your head down and stay away from Dawson for a little while," Shay suggested._

" _Right," Ross said before making a beeline away from their table._

" _Oh, poor guy. He had no idea what he was walking into," Gabby commented once Ross was out of earshot. "Although Matt's not normally so. I don't know. Jealous doesn't seem like the right word. Defensive of me? No that's not it. You know what I mean though."_

" _All possessive and that's my girl so don't you even think about it. Basically, your typical guy," Shay offered. "It's not Molly's and the guy was pretty obviously flirting with you on his first day here. Not exactly professional. Besides, Ross is gonna be part of Casey's life. I'm sure he doesn't want to think about someone he works with having dirty thoughts about his girl."_

" _Maybe," Gabby said._

" _Or maybe he's just eager to express his love for you when he's on shift now that he can. You guys spent so long hiding. Now he can just tell anyone, and he was trying to tell Ross about the two of you. Kid's just blind and didn't pick up on the clues. The way Casey had his arms around you, it should have been obvious," Shay pointed out. "You know you have a knack for attracting a candidate's attention. Mills and now Ross. Wonder if Otis had a thing for you back in the day."_

" _I hope not," Gabby couldn't help herself. Nothing against Otis. He was a good guy and a friend, but she just couldn't think about him in that way. Fortunately, she and Shay were still keeping their voices down so no one else was able to hear them. The last thing she wanted to do was offend one of her friends. "Wasn't he dating the daughter of one his parents' friends then anyways. Svetlana or something?"_

" _I think their parents tried setting them up and they maybe went out a few times. Don't really remember," Shay recalled. "Whole thing idea is weird anyways. Dating the kid of a friend of your parents. They probably grew up together or something."_

" _And I was dating Davey back then and everyone knew it. Can't really see Otis letting himself think too much about someone else's girlfriend," Gabby said._

" _How could everyone not know? The guy clung to you like glue. I swear when you were on shift and he wasn't working, he spent all his time here. Don't know how the guy managed to train. He was dumb and dull as a brick too. And what grown man goes by Davey anyways? He must have been hit in the head a few too many times, but I guess no one would think it was a good idea to hit on his girlfriend. Of course that assumes he could have figured out that someone was hitting on you. I don't know anyone who had any idea what you saw in him," Shay said in regards to the personal trainer and MMA fighter that Gabby had dated for six months after meeting him at Antonio's boxing gym five years ago. "You should thank your lucky stars you wound up with a guy like Casey. Mills wasn't too bad, not the type of guy I could have ever seen you ending up with, but not bad. Aside from those two though, you've had some pretty awful taste in men."_

" _First of all, Davey was ripped. You should have seen him naked. Might have been enough to turn even you on. He's no Matt, but his muscles had muscles, and he was huge. I swear the guy was built like a Greek god, and he was a beast in bed. Again not Matt, not even close, but we had a lot of fun in the bedroom. Plus, he had no problem hanging around my apartment naked before we even started getting physical while I was fully clothed and staring at him. Actually, I think he preferred not wearing clothes. I mean I never asked him to do that. Never would have. He just started doing it one day. In hindsight, it was a little weird, but I enjoyed the show. It's not like I was with him for his brain or personality. The attraction was purely physical. I was just looking to have fun, and for a while I did. Eventually, the sex just stopped making up for everything else," Gabby defended herself. "Then again, he actually cried when I ended things, and he was so confused after we still had sex. I think he thought I'd been kidding about not wanting to see him anymore. Proved I was right to do it though. Never have sex with someone whose just been bawling like a baby. He was all erratic. It was like he forgot how to please a woman._

" _And you're one to talk about bad taste in relationships. Devin. Clarice," Gabby continued._

" _Devin was a huge mistake. I'll give you that, but I was in a bad place," it was Shay's turn to defend herself. "And there was nothing wrong with Clarice. She just broke my heart twice."_

" _She was messing with your head and playing games both times. You've just never been able to see it," Gabby argued before sighing. "Look I know we'll never agree on Clarice. I'm just glad she's out of the picture. And the important thing is that whatever frogs we had to kiss along the way, we both wound up with really great, worthy people."_

" _I'll agree with that part at least," Shay said._

" _Speaking of Matt," Gabby started._

" _Were we?" Shay jumped._

" _Yes. The really great guy I ended up with," Gabby said. "Where he is though?"_

" _Not sure. Didn't see him leave," Shay answered before raising her voice. "Hey guys, Dawson's wondering where Casey is."_

" _I think in his office. Said something about needing to do the paperwork from earlier," Cruz replied._

" _Thanks," Gabby said before turning her attention to Shay. "Do you mind keeping an eye on the soup for me for a few minutes?"_

" _Nope, go get all lovey-dovey or romantic or whatever you're gonna do," Shay teased before Gabby got up and headed towards Matt's office._

 _When she got there, she found him sitting at his desk, pen moving in hand, as he started in deep concentration at his paperwork. She knocked on the door, but he didn't appear to hear it._

" _Hey Babe," she said in an attempt to get his attention._

 _That didn't garner a response either though. It seemed he was completely lost in his paperwork. She made her way into his office. Although he didn't notice. When she put a hand on his shoulder, he jumped._

" _Gabby," he said once he turned around. She felt him relax once he realized it was her._

" _I didn't mean to startle you," she told him. "Just didn't know how else to get your attention."_

" _It's okay," Matt said as he pulled her down onto his lap. "How was your time with Shay?"_

" _Good. I know I'm going to still hang out with Shay all the time. It's not like I haven't see her a lot while I've been on medical leave or anything, but it was nice to get to hang out with her here one last time," Gabby replied. "Thank you by the way."_

" _What for?" Matt looked a little surprised._

" _For being you and loving me. I know I haven't always made it easy," she clarified._

" _Maybe not easy, but you've always made it worth it. And you're welcome. I should thank you for the same," he replied before pulling her in for a kiss. When they broke apart, Gabby took note of the way he was looking at her._

" _What?" she asked._

" _Just wondering where that came from," he admitted. "Not that I'm complaining."_

" _Shay was teasing me about how Ross seemed to be flirting with me," Gabby started._

" _He was definitely flirting with you," Matt's voice was testy as he cut in._

" _Okay, fine, he was, but don't be too hard on him. He didn't know about us, or even that I was taken, and I think he learned his lesson," Gabby told him. "Besides, these days I find Truck lieutenants much more attractive than candidates."_

" _Funny, I've always had a thing for PICs," Matt said, prompting her to raise an eyebrow at him. "Especially the ones who decide they'd rather be firefighters," he added a moment later._

" _Nice recovery Casey. Nice recovery," she replied._

" _So Shay was teasing you. That all?" Matt asked._

" _Look at you, being all nosy and gossipy," Gabby teased._

" _It's just not every day that you thank me for loving you. Just want to make sure nothing happened," Matt explained._

" _If you're thinking Ross did something, don't worry. He didn't," Gabby reassured him. "It's just from there, Shay and I somehow got to reminiscing and talking about how we've both haven't always made the best decisions when it comes to our love lives so we're both really lucky to be with the people we're with now."_

" _I'm the lucky one," Matt insisted. "I love you."_

" _I love you too," Gabby replied. This time she was the one to initiate the kiss._

" _Hey Dawson," Brett's voice flowed into Casey's office before they'd even broken apart. "Shay asked me to come get you. Timer's going off."_

" _I'll be there in a minute," Gabby called back after reluctantly pulling away from Matt. The young paramedic had the worst timing. Sighing, she turned her attention to Matt. "Guess I need to go deal with dinner."_

" _This is why you shouldn't have offered to cook," Matt commented._

" _I make one of your favorites, and you're still complaining," Gabby shook her head as she got off of Matt's lap._

" _I'm looking at my favorite," Matt replied._

" _If only one of the guys were here to see their tough lieutenant being such a sweet talker," she laughed before reaching her hand of for him. "Come. You can be my taster and help make sure it's ready."  
_

 _Matt got up and the two of them made their way back towards the common room. Once there, Matt followed Gabby into the kitchen. In batches, Gabby worked on getting the vegetables and stock from the pot to the blenders to get it to the right consistency. She couldn't help but think that the firehouse needed more or at least bigger ones. Then this would go faster._

" _How's this for consistency?" she asked Matt as she took a spoonful out of the first blender she'd filled and gave it to him._

" _Perfect," Matt replied._

" _Good," she said as she went to work trying to get the contents of each blender to roughly the same consistency, moving each batch from the blender to a fresh pot. It meant more clean-up but was necessary to separate the blended and non-blended soup. Once everything was blended, she added the spices. There was no need to measure. She could do this from memory. She just needed to make sure she was properly accounting for the additional batch size. When she thought she had it, she gave another spoonful to Matt._

" _It's a little light on something, but I'm not sure what," he told her in an apologetic tone. She took a spoonful herself, and thinking she figured it out, made the necessary adjustment, and offered Matt another spoonful. "Much better."_

" _Alright guys, dinner will be ready in a few minutes," Gabby called. She wanted to give the soup a little more time to warm._

 _Once the soup was done, she moved it from the stove to the counter, allowing everyone to serve themselves. Filling up her own bowl, she grabbed a seat next to Matt and across from Shay. When she was just about done, the alarm went off._

" _Ambulance 61, heart attack," came through prompting Shay to push her bowl away._

" _Dawson, you want to ride with us?" Shay asked as she stood up. "That way you don't have to figure out how you're getting home. We can drop you off on our way back from the hospital."_

" _Sure," Gabby smiled before turning her attention towards Matt. "I'll see you in the morning."_

" _Yeah, have a good night," Matt replied._

" _You too," she told him before placing a peck on his lip and then turning to follow the two paramedics to 61._

" _Thanks for dinner," several of the guys called after her._

" _You're welcome," she called back._

" _Hey Brett, do you mind if you sit in the back and I drive?" Shay asked as the three of them walked onto the apparatus floor._

" _Ummm…no," Brett seemed hesitant but ultimately agreed._

" _You don't have to do that," Gabby said that as Brett shut the back door behind her._

" _Oh, come on. Once more for old time's sake," Shay replied. "You can even run the call,"_

" _I don't think I'm technically allowed to help never mind take the lead. I'm on leave, remember?" Gabby pointed out._

" _Oh, when has that stopped you?" Shay replied. "I won't tell if you won't."_

 _Gabby could only laugh in response while she got in the passenger side of Ambulance 61. As Shay turned the siren on and pulled out of the garage, Gabby was overwhelmed with a greater sense of nostalgia than she was expecting. She loved being a firefighter, couldn't imagine giving it up, but in that moment she knew a part of her would always miss riding around with Shay._

* * *

Author's Note: So that does it for Chapter Twenty Eight. Hope you enjoyed it, and remember the review button is right down there.

Until next time : )


	29. Chapter 29

Author's Note: As always, thanks to all my reviewers and those who followed or favorited this story after Chapter Twenty Eight. It occurs to me that Tuesday will be two years since I first published this, which seems crazy. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

I don't really have anything else to say up here so sit back, relax, enjoy, and when you're done, please let me know what you think. Now onto Chapter Twenty Nine.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Nine

 _Gabby poured pasta into the pot full of boiling water before turning her attention back to the sauce that was coming together on the next burner. Matt had told her that she should make something less complicated for dinner, that there was no reason to put a lot of effort into a meal just because they were having a date night, but she was craving fettuccine alfredo so that's what she was going to make. Besides, he was in the shower and hadn't invited her to join him so it's not like cooking was taking her attention away from him. And it wasn't really all that complicated. Sure, it required her to hover over the stove and focus on the cooking food, but it wasn't complicated._

 _She had gotten the all clear to return to work from her doctor in the middle of the past week and would be starting at Firehouse 13 on Tuesday. It was now Sunday so she just had to get through tomorrow, and then she'd finally be back at work. She was really looking forward to it even if deep down she still wished she was going back to 51. Hopefully, that feeling would fade with time even if she suspected that part of her would always miss being at 51. She'd spoken with Captain Woods multiple times since their first encounter at Molly's, and their conversations had gotten more frequent since her cast came off a week and a half ago and it became apparent she would soon be ready to return to work. He'd made her feel better about the situation she'd be walking into at 13, and he seemed like a good guy. He wasn't Matt or Boden, but she liked him. The idea of starting over still made her nervous though. Maybe she should have actually stopped by Firehouse 13 at some point to introduce herself. Too late now though. Next time second watch was on shift there, she'd be part of it._

 _Since finding out when she would be starting at 13, she and Matt had decided to clear these two days so that they could spend as much quality time together, just the two of them before going their separate ways come Tuesday morning. She had been looking forward to this time since Matt first suggested it. Although she had to admit that she wasn't sure why her starting at 13 left him insisting on "us" time. Considering that he'd been able to return to work before her, they'd already been spending twenty four increments apart for several weeks. Still, it's not like she would turn down the chance to spend time with the lover of her life._

 _He didn't have a construction job tomorrow and she'd swapped shifts at Molly's with Hermann, taking this past Friday night instead. The plan was to have a date night tonight and then hang out together tomorrow. She had originally suggested they go out to dinner tonight, but Matt had protested, saying he didn't want to share her with the world so that's how she wound up cooking. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but she did cook them dinner all the time so it wasn't exactly special occasion behavior._

 _The oven beeped, letting her know that it was pre-heated and she could put the garlic bread in. She headed towards the freezer to quickly get it out and onto a cookie sheet. Normally, she would have made her own, but she hadn't wanted to risk ruining the sauce so she'd bought it instead. As she was putting it in the oven, she heard the shower turn off, signaling that Matt was done._

 _About ten minutes later, he emerged from their bedroom, dressed in jeans and t-shirt, his hair still wet._

" _Hey," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and before leaning down to place a kiss on her neck._

" _Matt," she laughed as she tried to squirm out of his grasp. "You're going to distract me."_

" _Is that a problem?" he asked._

" _It is if you want dinner to be edible," she replied. "And don't you dare you say something about how you told me not to make this."_

" _Well, I did," Matt couldn't help himself, prompting her to elbow him in the side. "Fine. Is there anything I can do to help?"_

" _Wanna set the table?" she requested._

" _Sure," he told her before going to the cabinet where they kept the plates._

" _Hey, why don't you leave those here," she motioned towards a spot next to the stove once she noticed what he was grabbing first. "It'll be easier. Just put everything else on the table."_

" _Yes ma'am," Matt teased as she went back to focusing on the sauce._

 _When the garlic bread was out of the oven and she was finally stirring the pasta into the sauce, her phone rang. Looking at it, she saw that Hermann was calling. She was tempted to ignore it. The last thing she wanted was for something to interrupt her evening with Matt. Unfortunately, ignoring the call wasn't who she is._

" _Hi Hermann," she knew she sounded irritated but couldn't help it._

" _Hi Dawson. Look I know we swapped shifts and I said I'd work Molly's tonight for you, but I think I'm coming down with something. Starting to feel lightheaded and nauseous, and we're too busy for Otis to man the place by himself," Hermann said before letting out a cough. "Can you come in? I'll cover your next two shifts or at least the first two after I kick this thing."_

" _What about Shay?" Gabby really didn't want to have to go in._

" _She's not answering her phone," Hermann informed her._

" _What's going on?" Matt asked, prompting her to reangle the phone so that she wasn't talking into it._

" _Hermann's sick and can't reach Shay. Wants me to go into Molly's so he can go home," Gabby explained._

" _It's okay," Matt said. "Do what you have to do."_

" _What about date night?" she replied._

" _If Hermann's sick someone needs to be at Molly's. I get that," Matt reassured for. "We'll still be together all day tomorrow, and we can do date night on Wednesday."_

" _Girls night with Shay, remember?" she reminded him._

" _Oh yeah. We can do it Saturday then. You're working Thursday night and Sunday night this week, right?" Matt responded._

" _Yup," she answered. "Are you sure?"_

" _Yes," he insisted. "I'll go with you. It may not be just the two of us, but we'll still get to spend time together. It'll be fun."_

" _Okay," she said before repositioning the phone so that she could once again talk to Hermann. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Just hang tight until then."_

* * *

 _When they pulled up to Molly's, Gabby found herself confused. From what Hermann had said, she'd been expecting to find signs that the place was busy, but there weren't that many cars parked on the street near the bar. In fact, Matt was able to park a stone's throw from the door. What's more, none of the signs that typically indicated that Molly's was open were lit up._

" _What's going on?" Matt asked her as he turned his truck's engine off._

" _No idea," she replied. "Maybe something happened after I got off the phone with Hermann and we had to close, but you'd think he or Otis would have called and told me. I just don't understand why Otis would have needed help if it's been as dead as it looks all night."_

" _Only one way to find out I guess," Matt said._

 _With that the couple got out of the car and headed towards the bar. When they reached the door, Gabby noticed it was unlocked. That certainly wasn't in line with the bar being closed. Just another reason to be confused she supposed._

" _Surprise," a large group of voices called as she and Matt walked into the bar. From behind her, Matt's voice joined in._

 _Looking around she saw all of 51 sans Billy Ross. Not just the firefighters and paramedics but even Connie and some other members of the bullpen staff were there along with Cindy, Donna, and Trina. And hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room was a banner that read "We'll Miss You Dawson." So that explained it. Hermann wasn't really sick, and the lack of cars outside was because Molly's had shut down for the night for a private party. Her goodbye party. Everyone must have parked a ways away so that she wouldn't realize that everyone there was from 51. She probably should be mad at her business partners for closing without consulting her, but she appreciated the gesture too much for that._

 _She gave Matt a look to let him know that she knew he'd lied to her and pretty convincingly too. She had tried to get the truth out of him about the party Shay had talked about when they were hidden away in his office during her last visit to 51. He'd resisted at first but had ultimately given in or so she had thought. He'd told her the same thing Shay had, that they were looking to do something to welcome the new candidate. He even threw in a line about how he was rethinking the whole thing now that the kid had hit on her. She'd mistakenly figured that getting the same story out of both of them was a good sign. Now though she realized that after dropping her off, Shay must have spoken to Matt and coordinated their stories. She kind of wondered if Matt had realized that Shay knew exactly what they were doing when she first knocked on Matt's door. She could practically picture the look of horror that would have crossed his face if the realization had hit him._

" _So you're really choosing Casey over 51," Shay was the first one to come up to her. Pulling Gabby into a hug, Shay lowered her voice to a whisper. "The sex really that good?"_

" _Shay," Gabby swatted her friend even though she knew she was just teasing her. Shay knew better than anyone, probably even than herself, how long and how deeply she'd been in love with Matt, and in all honesty, she guessed she was choosing Matt over 51. The department was never going to let her have both, and while a couple of months ago, she had said that she'd gladly stay at 51 if they would let her have both, now she wasn't sure anymore. Staying increased the odds that Matt got hurt again, or worse, because of her. "You know it's about far more than that, and you know what, as much as I'm going to miss you guys, I have no regrets."_

" _I know," Shay said. "The moment I met the two of you, I knew you were soulmates. After everything you two have been through, individually and together, and everything you had to overcome working together, I'm really happy for you. You know that right?"_

" _Of course I do," Gabby was kind of wondering how much Shay had had to drink already if she was getting so sappy._

" _You deserve all the happiness in the world Dawson," Shay said._

" _I'm happier than I've ever been," Gabby couldn't help but interrupt._

" _It's just shift hasn't been the same without you, and now you're really officially leaving," Shay continued._

" _I've been officially leaving for a while now," Gabby pointed out._

" _Sometimes I wish that when that letter from the Academy came, I'd never encouraged to pursue becoming a firefighter," Shay admitted. "It's not that I'm not proud of you. It's just that if you were still on ambo, you could marry Casey and stay at 51. Hell, the two of you wouldn't have been hiding so maybe you'd already be married and working on that houseful of godchildren you're gonna give me. We'd still be partners. You're the best partner I'll ever have."_

" _You're the best partner I had too," Gabby replied. "Do you remember what you told me when I was freaking out about how everything was going to change once I left 51?"_

" _Best friends for life," Shay recalled._

" _Exactly. Best friends for life. No. Not just for life. Forever. Doesn't matter who your partner is or what company I'm in or what I firehouse I work at. Doesn't matter what happens in either of our lives or to one of us. You're not just the best ambo partner I had, you're the best friend I've ever had and will ever have. The only thing that's changing between us is that we aren't going to see each other on shift on a regular basis anymore," Gabby insisted._

" _I know. I don't know what came over me," Shay tried to laugh it off._

" _Don't worry about," Gabby pulled Shay into another hug. "I'm sure that if you were the one leaving, and I had to face life at 51 without you, I'd be bummed too. Guess that's the downside of the most important people in your life being the ones you meet at work."_

 _She tried to push away the pang that emerged at the mention of life at 51 without Shay. She may not have to face it here, but it was still something she remembered. And even though in her memories at least she'd had to face it for eight months, it had never felt okay or normal. She still had no idea how she'd made it through those weeks she'd remained on 61 with Chout and then Brett as her partner. She kept looking for Shay, expecting her to be the one that was there, and reminding herself that she needed to adapt to working with someone else, someone who didn't know her nearly as well as Shay did. As hard as she had worked to hide how much she was struggling with everything, she hadn't been able to stop herself from rushing to Matt's office and breaking down in his arms after her first ambo call without Shay. In the end, leaving ambo for Truck had been a huge relief. It stopped being about her desire to be a firefighter. Instead it became about not having Shay's death shoved in her face every time the bells went off._

" _You okay?" Shay suddenly asked. She must have noticed a change in Gabby even if she didn't know exactly what she was thinking._

" _Yeah. Sorry. Don't know where my mind just went," Gabby tried to play it off._

 _Fortunately, Hermann picked that moment to come up to her._

" _I'd say good luck Dawson, but you're not going to need luck. Not to brag or anything, but I trained you well. Thirteen's going to be lucky to have you," Hermann told her._

" _Thanks Hermann. For everything," Gabby replied. "You took me under your wing and trained me when it wasn't really your job."_

" _I was glad to help," Hermann said. "Besides, it's good experience for when I finally do get a lieutenant position."_

 _Slowly the rest of 51 made their way to her, giving her a hug or wishing her well or congratulating her on being cleared to return to work. The only one who didn't come up to her was Mills. Looking around, Gabby noticed him hanging out by himself near the back. Giving Matt's hand a squeeze, she moved into the bar and towards the Squad member._

" _What you doing back here?" she asked when she reached him._

" _Nothing," Mills replied as he took a swig of his beer._

" _Come on Pete. I think I know you better than that," Gabby didn't believe him._

" _Not really sure what to say," he admitted._

" _This about me and Casey?" she couldn't help but ask. "If Matt and I weren't together, I wouldn't be leaving 81 and this party wouldn't be happening."_

" _No, I've moved on," he claimed. "When you first told me you and Casey were together, I told you that I just wanted you to be happy, and I meant it. It's obvious he makes you happy. I'm not going to pretend the whole thing didn't hurt. Not you winding up with Casey but the realization that the whole time we were together you really wanted to be with him. That I was more into you than you were into me. That I wanted us more."_

" _I did want to be with you," Gabby insisted. "And I did want to love you."_

" _You just couldn't," Mill commented without any real hint of bitterness._

" _You deserve better than what I could give you, and you'll find it someday," she wanted to redirect the conversation._

" _I know," he agreed. "But I also meant it when I said that's not why I'm over here. I am happy for you and Casey."_

" _Then why are you back here?" she couldn't resist asking. So what if she was being nosy?_

" _You know you were my first friend in the CFD. Not just at 51 but in the department," Mills admitted. "When I was at the Academy, I knew exactly where I was going and what I wanted. I was getting on Squad one day. I wanted to honor my dad, follow in his footsteps, be the man he was. Being the best, positioning myself to make it that was all I focused on. Not bonding with my classmates, and when I wound up at my dad's old house, it seemed like it was fate's way of telling me that I was on the right path. I just needed to stay focused. I didn't need to bond with everyone. How much good does it really do anyways? After my dad died, the people he worked with came around and helped out for a while, but eventually they all faded into the background of our lives. You became my friend though and pulled me into the fabric of the house. I owe you a lot."_

" _You don't owe me anything," she demurred._

" _So you want to know why I'm back here," he continued. "I can already feel myself slipping away from everyone. Turning into an outsider at 51."_

" _My being there was not the only reason you were welcomed into 51 and made friends, and if you slip away from everyone now, that's on you," Gabby told him before looking around for some of the guys._

" _Hey, Cruz, Otis," she called, prompting the two men to make their way over to her and Mills. Once she was satisfied that the three of them could easily continue their conversation without her, she made her way back towards the larger crowd near the center of the bar. Stopping when she reached Matt, who was talking with Severide, she wrapped an arm around him, nuzzling into his side._

 _Gabby spent the next long while mingling with her friends and now former coworkers. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but eventually Hermann stood up on the bar._

" _Can I have everyone's attention?" Hermann requested. "So at these sorts of thing the lieutenant would normally say a few things about the person whose leaving, but I'm pretty sure we all know how Casey feels about Dawson so if you don't mind Lieutenant, I thought I'd do it. You can save all that gushing for your vows or something."_

" _Go ahead Hermann," Matt replied._

" _So it was about seven years ago that Dawson first arrived at 51. First female and first shift as PIC. Not that you'd know that last part from being in the field with her. She was the same take charge, single-minded, fighter that we all know today," Hermann began. "A lot's changed over these seven years. People, friends have come and gone from 51. Casey made lieutenant. Chief met and married Donna. Cindy and I had a couple more kids. Dawson exchanged her stethoscope for a halogen. One thing that hasn't changed though is Dawson's passion, commitment, and heart. Despite whatever else they're going through, anyone who calls 9-1-1 and then has you show up at their door as a paramedic or as a firefighter is pretty damn lucky Dawson. I know we weren't always easy on you, especially in the beginning, both times, but you're gonna do us proud at thirteen. I know you are._

" _I think I can say I speak for the whole house when I say that we wish you could stay Dawson. The house hasn't been quite the same these past few months."_

" _And man we miss your cooking," Cruz cut in from where he stood, making Gabby and most of the others laugh._

" _But we're happy for you and Casey," Hermann ignored the interruption and continued. "I can't think of two people more deserving of a happy ending than the two of you. It's been an honor to watch both of you grow into the people and firefighters you are today. The love you two share is something special. We've all seen just what you're willing to do for each other. I'd say who would have known that the two of you would have wound up here."_

" _But you can't because I knew," Shay was the one to interrupt this time._

" _Not just you Shay. I knew they were going to end up together. I think everyone did but the two of them. Well, maybe not Mills. Sorry kid," Hermann said. "What I was going to say was that your life's journeys have brought you this point, to each other, and as much as we already miss having Dawson around when we're on shift, it's really great to see the two of you taking this next step in your life together. I know that for both of you it will be worth having Dawson at 13, but you know what, you're always going to be part of the 51 family Gabby. Not just because you're marrying Casey, but because of who you are and what you mean to all of us. I know you're gonna do great things on Truck 6. To Dawson."_

" _To Dawson," Shay concurred from her spot next to Gabby as she raised her glass. "Cheers."_

" _Thanks Hermann," Gabby wiped a tear from her eye and leaned a little closer into Matt. Hermann's speech had hit all the right emotional spots. She was lucky to have worked with all these people for so many years and even luckier to be able to call them friends. Most of all, she was lucky because she had Matt, the best guy she'd ever know and the man of her dreams. While one chapter in her life was officially ending tonight, the next chapter was about to begin. That chapter was her future with Matt, and for that reason she knew it was going to be even better._

* * *

Matt was alone as he walked into the Lakeshore Hospital gift shop. At least unlike with Valentine's Day, he had advance warning that the day was coming. How could he not when Camila had been going on and on about her plans all week? Personally, he thought the whole thing was ridiculous. How were they going to fit everyone in Gabby's room? What was she going to think about the fact that they were doing this without her? Not that he was going to bring that up to Camila. The woman was convinced that it was the right thing to do, that it would help Gabby to know that she was being celebrated even if she wasn't consciously there, and that it would help give them a sense of normalcy. Not that there was anything normal about this as far as he was concerned.

If things were different he would be the one making the plans. Time with all their friends and family. A romantic evening just the two of them where he really got to celebrate her. He wouldn't be buying her gift from a hospital gift shop. He'd be out looking for the perfect gift, something that was both completely Gabby and showed just how special she was to him. Things weren't different though, and if he was honest with himself, he'd realize that he wasn't sure what bothered him more. Was it the fact that they were celebrating Gabby's thirtieth birthday while she was in a coma or was it the fact that he wasn't the one planning her birthday party?

Matt looked around the gift shop, but like with Valentine's Day, there wasn't anything that really seemed worthy. There was the usual flowers and candy, both gourmet and the stuff you'd find in a vending machine. While he'd gotten Gabby flowers from here for Valentine's Day, it seemed impersonal now. Flowers from various friends and family members were a constant presence in her hospital room. The gourmet chocolates weren't anywhere close to the ideal birthday gift, but it was at least associated with being in love so if she could eat them, they'd probably be worth considering. She wasn't in any position to eat them though. There were toiletries and unexpectedly luggage. He figured the former was only here for people who were unexpectedly admitted. Then again wouldn't the hospital just provide things like toothbrushes? He should know, he'd been a patient before, but he couldn't remember. As for the luggage, well maybe if it was for their wedding registry. Then again, they'd probably select something nicer than what was here. Books and magazines, but he already read to Gabby on a regular basis. Balloons, but those were more decorations, the sort of thing Camila was picking up for the party. There were games, but what was the point when Gabby wouldn't be able to play with them? There was plenty of Lakeshore Hospital branded items from clothes to mugs to blankets, but that would just be a reminder of everything that was going on. Gift baskets, but he wouldn't have been the one to pick out was in them. All the jewelry looked cheap and tacky; it definitely wasn't something he could see Gabby wearing. There were various knick knacks. Under normal circumstances, none of them looked like the sort of thing he would have given her, but if he couldn't find anything better, there were some options there.

It was when he looked at the stuffed animals, that he found something he thought might work. Most of them were nothing special, but a few of them were dressed like doctors and nurses in scrubs and lab coats with stethoscopes. Those weren't the ones that caught his eye though. One random teddy bear was dressed like a firefighter complete with not just the helmet and turnout gear but a halogen too. It probably got into the batch of stuffed animals shipped to the hospital by mistake or maybe it was fate's way of making sure he found something that didn't just seem random. It was by no means the perfect gift. Before today he never would have imagined that he'd give Gabby a stuffed animal as a birthday gift, but it reminded him of Gabby. It was probably just the gear, but he liked to think it was the look of determination he saw on the bear's face, a look that he swore captured Gabby's essence. She wasn't just a firefighter. She was determined and caring, the sort of person who did whatever was necessary in a given situation. This bear represented that. He just hoped she'd appreciate that and not think it was cliché.

Picking up the teddy bear, the next thing he needed was a card. Moving to that corner of the gift shop he started scanning the rows of cards. There weren't any birthday cards. Not that he was surprised by that. Most people didn't go to a hospital gift shop when they needed to buy a birthday card. As expected most of the cards were either get well cards or cards celebrating a new baby. There were some sympathy cards too. He guessed it made sense, but how many people after losing someone, would be in a state of mind to buy a sympathy card before leaving the hospital? That wasn't really relevant though. He was just trying to distract himself so he could forgot that they were celebrating Gabby's birthday under these conditions. He needed to stop that and focus though. It was just a waste of precious time that he could be spending with Gabby.

Quickly scanning the non-occasion specific cards in the bottom right corner, he found that they were pretty bland. A white card with a vase and flowers on the cover. A beige card with a dog. That sort of thing. Gabby deserved better than something so boring. She was the opposite of boring. Her card should be anything but boring. He was debating whether or not he should just give up when he saw it. The card appeared to be misplaced. It looked like a non-occasion specific card, but it was in with the sympathy cards. On the top of the card was a colorful sky, one that reflected a sunset or as he wanted to believe a sunrise, while on the bottom of the card was the sun. In between the rays of sunlight were the words "You Light Up My Life." Reaching for it he smiled, and while he intended to open it up to see whatever was on the inside, he already knew that this was the perfect card. Gabby did light up his life, and she would rise again. He let out a chuckle as he saw the words on the inside: "You're as bright as the sun. Just thought you should know."

With that he took the card and the firefighter teddy bear, and got in line for the cash register.

"Do you have gift bags?" he asked the cashier when it was his turn to pay.

"Yeah," an elderly woman replied. Her nametag said Iris and indicated that she was a volunteer.

"I'll take one of those as well Iris," he requested. "Can you also take the tag off?"

"Of course," Iris smiled at him before reaching down and emerging with a powder blue bag. After scanning the bear, she cut off the tag and placed it in the gift bag. She then scanned the card, and all that was left was for Matt to pay.

He did so and then was on his way back up to Gabby. When he reached Gabby's floor he stopped at the nurse's station and asked Carrie, one of the nurses, if he could borrow a pen. She obliged, and he took the card out, placing it against the surface. He spent several minutes staring at it, trying to decide what to write. That didn't get him anywhere though, and he eventually decided to try a different tact. Figuring that the words would come if he just started to write, he did just that, and before he knew it he was pouring his heart out. As he finished, Carrie's attention was elsewhere so he just left the pen on the counter before turning around, towards the third door on his right, and walking towards it.

Once he was in Gabby's room, Matt found Camila and Ramon sitting exactly as he'd left them. Antonio was at work, and so it was just the four of them, including Gabby, in the room. He put Gabby's birthday gift on his cot and then headed straight for her bedside. As always, he kissed her and took her hand in his before taking a seat and dragging his chair as close to the bed as possible.

"Hey," he smiled at her. "I was down in the gift shop buying your birthday gift. You're going to have to wait until tomorrow though to see what it is. I know you can be impatient, but I can't exactly give you your birthday gift when you're still twenty nine now can I? I can give you a hint though. It's something that reminds me of you.

"I'm sorry that it's only something from the gift shop. You deserve something so much nicer, and I promise you that once you're awake, I'll get you something that's truly worthy of the incredible, amazing woman that you are."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate anything you give her," Camila offered. "Where it's from and how much it cost isn't going to mean as much as the fact that it's from you, especially after the gift you've given her these past couple of months."

"Thanks," Matt replied. "But none of this changes the fact that this isn't how any of us, especially Gabby, should be spending her birthday."

* * *

When Matt woke up the next morning, he found himself alone in Gabby's hospital room. That was good. Camila had said that she and Ramon were going to arrive early to setup for the party. Considering that the party wasn't until the afternoon, he didn't really understand why. Antonio was working in the morning and then was going to pick up the cake on his way to the hospital so it wasn't like Gabby's parents needed to build in time for that. Still, pointing that out to Camila would just be a losing cause so he was glad find he had some time to spend alone with Gabby.

Pushing himself off the cot, he headed straight for Gabby's bed. He could shower and get dressed after Camila and Ramon arrived. Gabby had never minded him in a just-woke-up-state before. No reason to think she would now.

"Happy birthday Beautiful," Matt said once he reached her. After repeating his ritual and taking a seat, he continued. "I bet this isn't how you imagined you'd be spending it. I know it certainly isn't how I expected to be spending today. I did hope that I'd get to celebrate your birthday with you so I guess that's the closest thing to a positive about this whole situation that there is. Last year was better though. You remember your birthday last year? We were getting off shift that morning, and I don't know if you knew this or not, but I was not happy about that. I had wanted to make you breakfast in bed, and before you start thinking that it wasn't really about breakfast, that I was just looking for you to have an excuse to spend the morning in bed with me, that's not it. Not that I would have objected if you'd decided you wanted us to stay in bed afterwards, but that's not what it was about. I just wanted to pamper you, make the day special. I would have made all your favorites. You would have loved it. I'll do it next year, I promise, even if we have to take shift off to do it. No more just assuming that if I can't do something one year, I can just do it the next. I'm gonna make things happen from now on. You're worth it and so much more.

"I did just assume that I could do that for you this year instead though so we went to shift the day before and woke up apart at 51. The guys threw you a little party before third watch rolled in and we got to leave. Since I couldn't do breakfast in bed, I at least got to take you out to breakfast. You know I would have done something a little more fancy than Over Easy if you'd let me. I know you love that place, and I do too. I certainly would never want to deprive you of one of your favorite places to eat. It's just your birthday's a very special day, at least to me, and it deserves, you deserve, somewhere we don't go all the time, something more formal even for breakfast. Then again seeing how happy you were as you ate your breakfast, maybe somewhere we went all the time was exactly what the day called for.

"After breakfast we went back to your apartment and just hung out together all morning. I remember telling you that it was your day and I would do whatever you wanted, but you just said that all you wanted was for me to hold you and for us to talk so that's what we did. Then Shay came and stole you for lunch and a 'birthday massage' as she put it. You just rolled your eyes when I told her that she better not let another guy put his hands on you, and then she retorted that it was your birthday and that if you wanted some male wonder hands to give you a massage, that's what you'd get. I know we don't talk about Shay much, but if she were here, she would have had some choice words for you weeks ago. Maybe it would leave knots in your stomach the way that wonder hands comment left them in mine. It was such a relief when she dropped you off that afternoon, and you told me that your masseuse had been a forty year old woman.

"As much as I hated having to share you with Shay, what can I say, time spent with you is always better than time spent without you, but it was part of the plan. Your family had planned a surprise for your birthday and with Antonio and Laura both at work, I had to go pick the surprise up. God Gabby, as I was standing in baggage claim waiting for your parents, I was so nervous. I was basically meeting them for the first time. I know technically I had met them several times before, but I was just your friend and coworker then. I had never met them as your boyfriend before, and I wanted so bad for them to like me, to see not that I was worthy of you because I knew I could never be worthy of you, you deserve the best, but to see that to me you're the world and that I would do everything I could to make up for the fact that I wasn't worthy and to give you the life you deserve. I guess I failed at that. Not that day. I think that day actually went pretty well, but in the end, I failed at trying to be close to worthy, trying to make sure you had everything you deserve, but I already that I didn't want a life without you, without us. You know I still don't, right?" he paused for a moment before continuing, wanting to let that reminder sink in, hoping it would help Gabby even if it hadn't before.

"When Shay dropped you off, you were so happy to see them, and the four of us spent the afternoon together talking until it was time to head downtown to meet Antonio, Laura, and the kids for a family dinner all eight of us. It meant a lot to me that I was being considered family. I know no one had to include me. Totally made you eating most of my dinner because you didn't like what you ordered worth it. I know I said I didn't think what you ordered was all that bad, but honestly, I just didn't want you to feel guilty about stealing my food. It was pretty terrible. At least I got what I was really hungry for later that night.

"Your parents were staying with your brother so after dinner they left with him, and we went back to your place," Matt paused again and sighed. "That was supposed to be the last one of our birthdays with a your place and a my place. We found the apartment a few weeks later, moved in about a month after that. I know it wasn't a good time. We lost Shay a week before moving in. You were so devastated, and if we hadn't both just let our old leases expire we probably would have waited. They were pretty much the worst circumstances to move in together under, but as much as it all sucked, and this doesn't diminish Shay in any way, but as awful as her death was and as hard as it was on you, it didn't take away from the promise of us moving in together, at least not to me. What made the place so special was that it was ours. You were there. That's why it was home. And I figured we'd never live apart again. We'd always live in our place, whether it was that apartment or a different one or a house. Getting engaged was a formality, and not just because I knew deep down that if that awful call hadn't come in or if the bell had gone off just a moment or two later, you would have said yes, but because getting married was a formality too. I was so sure we were gonna be together forever, have a family and a wonderful life filled with so much love.

"Only here we are. It's your birthday again, and there is no our place. The apartment we found, the one we moved into and made our first home, somehow became mine and Severide's. You're technically living with Brett, and you're stuck in this damn bed. I haven't seen your eyes or your smile or heard your voice or your laugh in two and a half months. No one has, and it feels like so much longer. It's all so messed up Gabby. How did I let everything get so messed up?" as much as Matt was trying to hold onto his composure and not break down, the more he spoke, the harder it became until finally he lost it.

Feeling overwhelmed by the weight of everything he'd lost, the tears came out fast and furious, and his body wracked with uncontrollable sobs that he couldn't stop. He figured that sooner or later he'd run out of tears, but he didn't. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. He had lost all sense of time, but eventually the door opened. Matt didn't bother looking up to see who was there. He didn't care that whoever it was would be seeing him like this. He didn't have the energy. So he was caught off guard when he felt an arm pull him into an embrace.

"It's okay. Sshh. We've all been there. It's okay," Camila soothed.

* * *

"Thanks for coming guys," Matt said as Hermann and Cindy wound up being the last to leave later that evening.

"Of course," Hermann replied.

Most of the firehouse had been here at one point or another that afternoon. In addition to Hermann and Cindy, Chief had been by with Donna and Terrence for a few hours, leaving when Terrence started getting cranky. Cruz and Otis had been there for most of the afternoon while Brett stayed for a little while. Mouch and Mills had been there as well with Mills lingering a little. Capp and Tony. Some of the guys from Engine. Even Connie stopped by for a little while. And of course Severide. Fortunately, the new candidate had decided not to show up. Although truth be told, Matt wasn't sure if the kid even knew about Gabby's party. Outside of 51, many of Gabby's friends and Chicago-based relatives had come, and while she hadn't stayed, Laura had dropped off Eva and Diego after school. While not all the guests had ever been there at the same time, Matt still had no idea how they'd all managed to fit into the small room.

"Hate to leave the three of you with the clean up, but I've got to get these two rug rats home and to bed. They do have school in the morning," Antonio said once it was just Matt and the six Dawson's.

"I'm not a rug rat," Diego protested.

"Of course you're not," Ramon commented as he patted his grandson's head before turning his attention towards Antonio. "Don't worry about it son."

"Come on kids. Give grandma a hug before leaving," Camila called. "And Auntie Gabby too."

"Careful with Auntie Gabby," Antonio reminded his kids.

Several minutes later, the kids were all packed up and standing by the door, ready to go. Before they did so though, Antonio turned to Matt and shook his hand.

"Thank you for indulging my parents on this," Antonio said quietly. "I know it probably seemed strange, but I think they needed this."

"It did seem strange, but after everything they've done for me from the beginning of all this. Treating me like family. Letting me spend so much time at Gabby's side. Trying to look out for me when I can't bring myself to. I owe them. I wasn't going to point out that it was ridiculous," Matt replied. "I just hope Gabby didn't think that we were celebrating what's happened to her."

"Why would Gabby think that? This was clearly about her birthday," Antonio responded. "As for the rest of it, anyone who knows my sister knows that she'd be glad you're here and that when she wakes up, you're going to be person she wants most."

"I'll be at her side for it all if she'll let me," Matt said.

"I know man," Antonio nodded. "And she will. Don't worry."

With that Antonio ushered his kids out of there, leaving Matt, Camila, and Ramon alone to clean up. While Camila and Ramon put balloons and streamers in trash bags, Matt brought the cake out into the hall. He was walking towards the desk when he saw an orderly.

"Is there a fridge we can store this in? Gabby's probably going to want some when she wakes up," he asked.

"Ummm I can take it and put it in the staff fridge I guess," the orderly stammered. Technically, they weren't supposed to store outside food for patients anywhere, but he didn't see the harm in agreeing to this. If Ms. Dawson did wake up soon, the hospital probably wouldn't allow them to give her the cake immediately; she'd need time to adjust to eating again before getting something so heavy, but considering everything she'd been through, in his opinion at least, she deserved some cake. Still, the staff would probably eat what was left before it came to that.

"Thanks," Matt said as he handed the orderly the box with the cake in it. "She'll really appreciate it."

"You're welcome," the orderly replied. "I need to get back to work though."

Matt simply nodded and returned to Gabby's room, where he was surprised to see most of the balloons and streamers already gone. At this point, Camila was picking stuff up off the floor while Ramon was standing on a chair, taking down a sign that read "Happy Birthday Gabriela!"

"Matt, can you put the gifts in there?" Camila motioned towards the box that previously contained most of the decorations. "I guess Ramon and I will take them home with us."

"Sure, but maybe the pictures and some of the smaller stuff can stay in Gabby's room?" Matt suggested. He hadn't given Gabby what he had gotten her when they'd opened everyone else's gifts during the party. He had wanted to do so in private. In part because of what he'd written on the card, and in part because if she was awake and they were still together, that's what they would have done. Now he had another reason to be glad he'd done that. Camila wouldn't think to take the firefighting teddy bear with her.

"Good idea," Camila replied. "I know there's already some pictures here and other stuff from home, but the place could always be more homey. Give Gabriela something more to wake up to. Remind her that she's not being forgotten just because not everyone can be here all the time."

"Thanks," Matt offered her a small smile.

With that the three of them went back to what they were doing. Ramon and Camila were cleaning while Matt sorted through the gifts Gabby had received, deciding which ones would stay and which ones would go back to Gabby's parents' house. He figured he'd keep the pictures, there was one of Truck 81 taken after they got back from Gabby's first fire, one of her with Hermann and Otis right after Molly's grand opening, and one of her with Diego and Eva. He would also keep a CFD-themed mug from Gabby's cousin and a new book by Gabby's favorite author from Mills despite the fact that with the latter, he hated the reminder of how well Mills knew her. At least he'd be the one to read it to her. Severide had given her a scrap book. It had technically been Shay's, but he'd kept it after she died. Before Gabby moved out, they'd both occasionally found her on the couch flipping through it. There were plenty of pictures from 51 and of Gabby and Shay. He knew she'd appreciate the gesture so he'd keep that here too. Most of the rest of it though could go with her parents though. They'd sort through it together when she was awake.

About fifteen minutes later, they were done cleaning, the room looking pretty much as it had when Matt woke up that morning. The three of them were on their way back to their seats at Gabby's bedside, when Ramon let out a yawn.

"Sorry. I guess I'm a little worn out," he said.

"Do you want to go home?" Camila asked.

"Not particularly, but I probably could use the sleep," Ramon replied as he gave his wife a look indicating that he never really wanted to go home and she should know that.

"We should call it a night then," Camila sadly responded before turning her attention to Gabby. "Happy birthday sweetheart. Your dad and I will see you in the morning."

"Sweet dreams mija," Ramon said as he squeezed Gabby's shoulder.

"Good night Matt," Camila turned attention to the man who would be staying once she and her husband were all ready to go.

"Night," Matt replied without taking his eyes off of Gabby. He waited for the sound of the door closing, indicating that he was once again alone with his love before speaking again, this time to her. "That was some unusual birthday, wasn't it? You being a coma. Everyone celebrating in a hospital room while you're physically here but not really here. You know that no one was celebrating all this, right? Everyone just wanted to celebrate you and the fact that you were born and came into our lives. We're not moving on without you or forgetting what's happened. Your parents just wanted to honor you. I think they were hoping that you wouldn't want to miss your own birthday party. Everyone wanted to honor you, and it was nice that so many people showed up. Pretty much all of 51 was here for an afternoon on one of their off days. The rest of your friends and family took time off to be here with you. It just goes to show how many people care about, miss you, and think you're worth celebrating. That's because you are worth celebrating.

"It didn't really feel right though. The fact that you weren't part of your birthday I mean. I promise when you wake up, we'll do it right. Until we can do that though, there's red velvet cake waiting for you in the fridge. I know you want it. Not just because it's your favorite, but because I've never seen you turn down a piece of red velvet cake before. Don't turn down this one.

"I got you something too. You didn't really think I wouldn't get you a birthday gift even though I didn't give it to you when we opened your gifts earlier, did you? Something tells me that of course you didn't. You know you mean too much for me to not get you something for your birthday, and well, I think I may have mentioned it yesterday. It's nothing fancy. It's only from the gift shop. You deserve a better gift than something I can get in a hospital gift shop, but that would take me farther from you than I can bare. When you wake up and you're okay, I'll get you something that's more worthy of being your birthday gift. Until then, I hope this is okay."

Matt paused to go up and head back towards his cot where his things were. Taking the gift, he headed back towards Gabby. Once he was sitting, he took the card out of the envelope.

"Let me read you the card first," he began. "The card itself says "You Light Up My Life" on the front and "You're as bright as the sun. Just thought you should know" on the inside. I chose it because it's true. You are the light of my life, and I don't know how to be happy without you. In many ways you're the sun, and I'm the Earth, revolving around you. As for what I wrote. Well it goes, My Dearest Gabby. Okay, I know what you're thinking. That doesn't really sound like the Matt you know, the Matt you fell in love with, the Matt you hopefully still love. What can I say other than what's happened to you, seeing you like this for so long has made me all sentimental and mushy, and you've been the most important person in my life for a long time. That's not on the card. That's just me wanting to make sure you know so let me start reading what I wrote again.

"My Dearest Gabby, Words cannot express how much you mean to me or how special today is simply because it's your birthday. The day you were born was one of the most important days of my life even though I didn't know you or your family back then. It may have taken over twenty years for me to meet you, but to me your birth is one of the most important events in history because you're the most important person in the world and the best thing that's ever happened to me. No matter how much time we've spent apart. No matter what's happened between us or what will happen between us, it hasn't changed how much I love you. Nothing could. You are incredibly beautiful inside and out. Your passion, your determination, your big heart, your strength, your bravery. Those are just some of the things that have combined to make you the most amazing person I've ever known. I always felt so lucky to be able to call you my girl, and as far as I'm concerned, the world's been a much better place for the past thirty years simply because you've been in it. So many people have benefited from knowing you and being part of your life or because you showed up when they needed help. I've benefited. Knowing you has made me a better man. Being loved by you has made me a happier man. Watching you grow and flourish has made me a prouder man. You've done all that in just thirty years, but you deserve a lot more than thirty birthdays. The world needs you in it for more than thirty years. I need you for another thirty years. No that's not true. I need you for a lot longer than that. I love you. Forever yours, Matt.

"So that's the card. As for what I got you," Matt paused as he opened the gift bag, taking out the stuffed bear and placing it on the bed next to Gabby. "It's a teddy bear dressed as a firefighter, and I got it because it reminds me of you. Not so much because you're a firefighter or we're firefighters. Although I did appreciate that. But because there's something about the look on its face that reminds me of you when you're in your element on call, whether as a PIC or a firefighter candidate. It has the same sort of look that screams 'I'm gonna do whatever it takes' that you get so this bear represents exactly who you are not just what you do. I hope you like it. It'll be waiting for you when you get up. I'm waiting for you too."

* * *

Author's Note: Not gonna lie, writing a Hermann speech turned out to be a bit intimidating. I had it all mapped out in my head and then when I sat down to write it so much of it vanished. Hopefully, I did the speech (and the card in the real world) justice though.

As always, please let me know what you thought.

Until next time.


	30. Chapter 30

Author's Note: Thank you to all my reviewers and those who have favorited and followed this story. With the last chapter, this story surpassed 50,000 views. I don't know if that's good or bad for 29 chapters and 2+ years, but it feels like a big milestone to me so thank you.

I apologize for the long delay with this chapter. I really didn't want to go months without updating again, especially after I was so bad about updating last year, but while I don't want to make excuses, a few things did happen between when I last updated in March and today. First, I did publish another story. It was originally intended to be a one-shot, but you know me, I'm too verbose so it's got 4 published chapters at this point with several more to go. It will certainly be much shorter this story. Anyways, if you haven't seen it and want to read it, it's called Of Trust and Secrets and can be accessed through my profile. Then the finale and word that Monica was leaving the show and the really awful end we got to Dawsey have made it harder to write at times. Sometimes, I sit down and I can forget the show and just focus and other times all I can think about is what's actually happening with the show, and I just can't get anything out. I'm determined to plow through it though and keep writing though. Finishing this story is definitely still a goal I have even though it's probably going to take another two years. Hopefully, people will still be interested in reading Dawsey fics at that point.

Even without those things what was supposed to be this chapter completely got away from me. It wound up being close to 19,000 words. Given how long it was was, I broke it into two chapters so hopefully the breaking points work. Chapter 31, which is really the second part of this chapter, will most likely be up in two weeks.

And I should warn you that a portion of this chapter is more on the M side. It wasn't planned. Just kind of started coming out of my fingers as I was writing.

That does it for me for now so here's Chapter 30. Hope you guys enjoy it, and as always, when you get to the end, please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Thirty

The first thing Camila noticed as she opened her eyes was that the sun was not yet up. That wasn't too surprising. She'd always been an early riser. It was something both of children undoubtedly benefited from during their teenaged years as she often had to drag them out of bed so they'd get to school on time. Antonio had been your typical teenaged boy; perfectly happy to sleep the day away. As for Gabriela, well, she'd always been able to tell when she'd snuck out at night. Gabriela was always harder to wake up the next morning. It was amazing how different her children were. Antonio had always been responsible. Gabriela had taken a while to find her own way; there was a time when she would have sworn that the girl was going to be the death of her. Now though she just hoped she hadn't already all but officially outlived her daughter.

Looking at the clock, Camila saw that it was 4:06. Still, practically the middle of the night. Too early to get out of bed. If past experience was any guide, she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. That wasn't going to stop her from trying though. Things were better when she was asleep. Her daughter was okay when she was asleep. She knew she wasn't alone in that. While she'd never talked about it with Ramon or Antonio, she had overheard Matt talking about his dreams with Gabriela one day. Matt had stopped once he'd realized she was there, and she'd felt bad for invading the young man's privacy, but she knew they both dreamed of a world where Gabriela was conscious.

She closed her eyes and waited. After what felt like a long time, she opened them again, hoping that she'd somehow discover she'd actually fallen asleep, even if meant she didn't remember her dream. She liked remembering her dreams. They were a source of comfort. Looking at the clock, she discovered it said 4:10. She had not fallen back asleep so she repeated the action over and over again. 4:12. 4:17. 4:20. 4:22. 4:26.

Having had enough, Camila gave up on her futile attempts to fall back asleep. She got out of bed, careful not to wake Ramon, and headed down the hall intent on doing what she always did in this situation, at least since Gabriela had gotten hurt. At the other end of the hall, she found Gabriela's room. The door had rarely been closed since Gabriela first moved out so she just flipped the light on and walked right in. Camila paused after taking her first few steps and looked around the room as if taking every item in. Everything in here reminded her of Gabriela. She supposed that made sense though. When she'd confirmed that nothing had changed, everything about the room matched her memory of how Gabriela had left it years ago, she continued her walk, stopping only when she reached the bed.

Taking a seat on the twin-sized bed, she couldn't help remembering how Gabriela had insisted that her parents must hate her simply because they wouldn't buy her a larger bed like some of her friends had. Her and Ramon's argument that Gabriela was one person and fit fine in that bed, falling on deaf ears. Oh, how she longed for the days when whether or not she could have a double bed was one of Gabriela's biggest problems. It was a much nicer problem than whether or not she'd wake up from her coma.

Leaning back against the headboard and grabbing Gabriela's old pillow, Camila realized that some selfish part of her wished they'd never brought Trevor to the hospital. She hadn't found as much comfort in the confines of this room as she'd had when she was also holding the stuffed animal. And it's not like having her beloved giraffe at her bedside had done Gabriela any good. Still, Camila did find some comfort in being in here with all her memories of Gabriela's childhood. Sometimes it was even enough to lull her back to sleep.

* * *

"Camila," came Ramon's voice pulling Camila back to the present. Maybe it was her earlier thought of Trevor, but she'd been reliving Gabriela's second birthday party, where the toddler had first received the stuffed giraffe. It was enough to make her realize that she had indeed fallen back asleep.

Seeing no point in calling back to Ramon, Camila just hugged the pillow she was holding a little tighter. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her husband, but they'd been through this routine enough over the past couple of months that she knew he'd find her. Sure enough, it wasn't long before he was walking into the room.

"Morning," Ramon said as approached the bed.

"What time is it?" Camila asked, not thinking to look at the clock on the bedside table.

"A little after 6:30," Ramon replied.

"Oh," she was surprised she'd managed to sleep for almost two hours.

Normally when she fell back asleep in here, she only slept briefly. Maybe everything was starting to catch up to her. Then again, she'd thought that before only to fall back into her new normal routine a few days later. The one in which she typically tossed and turned for an hour or two, too laced with worry and stress to calm her mind down, before falling asleep for four or five hours, only to wake up at an ungodly hour and fail to fall back asleep, at least in her own bed, bringing her down to Gabriela's old room, where she'd reminisce and occasionally get a brief nap in. Maybe these short blips of extra sleep were all her body needed to make up for it. She was going home. She was eating. She was sleeping in her own bed or at least in her own house. She was trying to take care of herself despite everything. But sometimes she wondered if she was really doing any better than Matt or if she had just figured out how to act like she was.

"I'm going to go grab a shower," Ramon's words pulled her away from her thoughts.

"Do you want me to make breakfast?" Camila asked. It seemed like time to start the day.

"Sure," Ramon answered before heading out of the room to presumably take his shower.

Camila got out of her daughter's bed and headed back to the master bedroom. When she got there, Ramon was already in the bathroom. Opening her closet, she grabbed her bathrobe and put it on before heading downstairs.

There was a small television in the kitchen, and as she walked past it, she turned it on, the local morning news suddenly filling the room. Hopefully, it would provide a good distraction. She could use something that kept her mind from wandering these days. The weather, what was going on in Chicago and the world, would maybe be something else she could focus on for at least a little while.

"The street is closed for five blocks on each side, and we've been asked to move back several times. Hold on Jeff. It looks like another firetruck is arriving," a woman's voice flowed from the TV and into the room.

Camila turned towards it just in time to see her daughter's firetruck arrive at what looked to be a serious warehouse fire and several of Gabriela's coworkers get out. If this had been several months ago, she would have abandoned breakfast and glued herself to the television, desperately taking in every word, looking for even the smallest indication of her daughter. It's not that she didn't think Gabriela knew what she was doing even if she was a trainee or that the other firefighters would intentionally let a trainee get in over her head or that Matt would ever let anything happen to Gabriela. She didn't need these last few months to know that Matt loved Gabriela deeply. The first time she saw them together as a couple, a little over a year ago, she saw that love in the man's eyes every time he looked at or spoke of her daughter. Still, she wasn't naïve. She knew that a situation could always arise where all of that wouldn't be enough. And she'd always found the knowledge that her little girl was in danger in that very moment, no matter how likely Gabriela was to survive it, absolutely terrifying. While she undoubtedly would have been better off not knowing that her daughter was on a call, she couldn't undo that knowledge, and she couldn't keep her thoughts from drifting to worst case scenarios if she wasn't watching it unfold on TV.

Now though her daughter wasn't on that call. Gabriela wasn't in danger. At least not the type of danger that came from running into a burning warehouse. And while she certainly knew the men who'd gotten out of that firetruck much more than she did several months ago and would be saddened if something happened to one of them, it didn't bring out nearly the same fear and worry that it did when it was her little girl, because even at 30 Gabriela was her little girl, in that situation. The news coverage was just a reminder of what her daughter should have been doing, and that made it even worse to watch or listen to. This wouldn't even work as background noise so she started flipping through the channels until she found something, anything that wasn't local news.

With that taken care of, she could now turn her attention to breakfast. Looking through the refrigerator, she realized that it was practically empty, and there was really nothing she could make. They were out of eggs so not only was some sort of egg dish out, but anything where egg was an ingredient, such as pancakes or french toast, weren't options either. They also were out of milk so they couldn't even have cereal. She could have sworn they'd had both last time she looked. Either she was too distracted to have noticed or Ramon had failed to mention that he'd used both up. Both scenarios seemed entirely possible. Scanning the refrigerator one more time in search of anything that would work as breakfast, she was forced to realize that bread and some fruit were the closest things to options. They would have to have toast with a side of fruit or go out for breakfast. She'd discuss it with Ramon when he got out of the shower. Regardless, it looked like while Gabriela was having her tests run this morning, she'd be going grocery shopping.

With that in mind, she started inventorying the kitchen in order to put a grocery list together. After a few minutes, she heard the shower turn off and took that as her cue to head upstairs and talk to Ramon about breakfast.

"Ramon," Camila called as she entered their bedroom.

"Yeah," his voice came from the master bathroom.

"The kitchen's pretty bare. Do you want to go out for breakfast? Other option is toast," she said as she walked into the bathroom where she found him shaving.

"Why don't we go out," Ramon suggested.

"Just let me get ready," Camila responded.

* * *

After breakfast, Camila dropped Ramon off at home and headed to the grocery store. As she roamed the aisles, she couldn't help but thinking about how much her diet had changed. It wasn't simply all the hospital food she'd been eating. Just look at what she'd had for breakfast. While it wasn't an item on the menu, she'd ask the waitress if she could have banana chocolate chip pancakes, and the woman had obliged. It wasn't something she ate on a regular basis. More than that it wasn't something she'd eaten since her children were well children. When she was a child, it had been Gabriela's favorite breakfast. As such it had been a regular meal in their house back then. She typically wound up making them for at least Gabriela every Saturday morning, more when school wasn't in session. Still, it wasn't like she ate them on a weekly basis in those days. If she didn't make something entirely different for her and Ramon, she at least usually left the chocolate chips out of their pancakes. They were good memories. Just thinking about the huge smile on seven year old Gabriela's face as she dug into a stack of banana chocolate chip pancakes, brought a small smile to her own face.

It made her realize something too. In practically everything she did these days, she reached for things that reminded her of her daughter. Or at least practically everything she did. There was only so much she could do when two meals a day usually came from a hospital cafeteria. But Gabriela loved to cook and she loved good food. It was something they shared. In that moment, she decided that she needed to start cooking again. Maybe not every day, and certainly not in the sense of eating dinner at home every night. But she could bring home cooked meals to the hospital. They'd have to be meals that reheated in the microwave easily, and she'd need to confirm that she could use a microwave, but it would give her a chance to make more of Gabriela's favorite foods. More than that, it would probably be better for all of them. So in addition to eggs and milk and sponges and yogurt and a bunch of frozen breakfast items to make a quick meal before leaving for the hospital in the morning, she'd buy chicken and beef and rice and vegetables. Things she could use to make lunch or dinner.

"Camila?" a woman's voice pulled her from her thoughts. Looking up she saw one of her closest friends standing across from her in the cereal aisle. Not that they'd spoken since before the accident. She hadn't really spoken to any of her friends or anyone else she didn't absolutely have to.

"Hi Marie," she greeted the woman.

"You guys up for a visit?" Marie asked. Outside of a few sporadic visits, Camila and Ramon typically only returned to Chicago for a couple months during the summer so Marie wasn't expecting to see her in the supermarket on a random late April morning.

"No. We've been back for a while. Maybe permanently," Camila answered.

"Oh," Marie couldn't keep the fact that she was offended to not have known out of her voice.

"We haven't had a chance to reach out to anyone. It's a long story," Camila explained, hoping Marie would understand it had nothing to do with her.

"Well, we all need to eat. I mean we're here, aren't we? Why don't Neal and I have you and Ramon over for dinner on Saturday," Marie suggested.

"I'll need to check with Ramon," Camila pointed out.

"I know you do. I'll give you a call tomorrow to discuss the details," Marie just assumed the answer would be yes or that if it wasn't Saturday, they'd have dinner some other night. Camila supposed she couldn't fault her for that. It's not like the other woman had really any idea what had been going on in her life.

* * *

 _At the sound of the alarm clock beeping, Gabby's first reaction was to roll over and go back to sleep. While she was typically a morning person, it had been so long since she'd had to get up a certain time, never mind while it was still dark out, that her subconscious just automatically assumed the noise didn't mean anything for her other than that she'd soon find herself alone in bed. Thus, morning person or not, there was no reason for her to emerge from her slumber until at least the sun came up._

 _Like every third morning for the past several weeks, she felt Matt soon stir beside her. A moment later the beeping stopped, and she felt Matt sliding away from her until she couldn't feel him at all only his movements on the mattress until finally he was out of bed. She heard him head into the bathroom, getting ready to start his day. Missing the warmth and comfort of his body, she curled further into the bed, subconsciously moving towards his pillow, letting his scent lull her back to sleep. When she was half-asleep, she got her first indication that this wasn't just any other day. Someone was shaking her._

" _Gabby," Matt's voice was gentle. "Gabby."_

" _What?" she mumbled semi-coherently._

" _You need to get up," he pointed out as he hovered over her._

" _Don't want to. Want to sleep," she replied._

" _I know, but you need to get up and get ready for work," Matt replied._

 _Work. Firehouse 13. Today was Tuesday. She was going back to work today. She was starting at her new house and with her new company today. She couldn't be late. She really needed to be early and get off on the right foot._

 _The reality hitting her, and instantly she was wide awake. She suddenly bolted upright, startling Matt. Fortunately, he was able to move out of the way before she rammed her head into his body._

" _So coffee or shower?" Matt referenced their normal shift morning routine. They'd get up at the same time and one would shower while the other made coffee. Normally they'd alternate, but since Gabby had been off work for a long while, they were starting from scratch._

" _Shower but why don't you join me," she suggested._

" _You sure we have time?" Matt questioned. He knew as well as she did that even when they didn't have shower sex, they tended to spend longer in there when they were together than when they were on their own. Still, it's not like they didn't always leave a little extra time in their morning routine as a precaution._

" _What, you don't want to shower with me," she pouted. "To watch the steamy hot water roll down my naked body."_

" _I always want you," he insisted. "But I know how nervous you've been about today and making a good impression. It's important to you, and I just want to make sure everything goes really well for you. I don't want to slow you down and make you late. And you know once I'm in there with you, I may not be able to control myself."_

" _Maybe that's part of why I want you in there," Gabby explained. "I need a distraction from how nervous I am, and what's a better distraction than you and me? And you don't need to worry about making sure I have time for coffee. Right now I'm so nervous the thought of drinking any makes me want to puke._

" _Besides," she paused for a minute to pull her top over her head and off. As she discarded it on the floor, she couldn't help noticing that his eyes had wandered down to her bare chest._

" _You're not playing fair," Matt muttered._

 _Reaching her hand out, Gabby cupped his chin, allowing her to raise his head._

" _Up here. You know what you should do if you want to look at that," she smiled before shifting into a more seductive tone. "And as I was saying, I'm about to spend twenty four hours in a strange place with only a bunch of buff, manly firemen for company. Might not be a bad idea to make sure I'm remembering the buff, manly fireman I'll be coming home to."_

" _You would never," Matt pointed out._

 _Of course, she wouldn't. That wasn't the point though. The point was to spend as much of this morning at his side as she could. That meant getting him in the shower with her. What could happen once the water was running, well, that just had the potential to be a really great bonus._

" _A fireman whose all sweaty and soot covered after running into a burning building and saving a life. I mean that's a damn sexy sight," she continued as she sat up straighter, making sure he got another peak even as she continued to hold his face level with hers. "It's been a long time since I've seen you like that, and who knows when I'm going to get to see you like that again. But the guys at Thirteen, I'm going to get to see them like that after every call. Well, at least every call that involves a fire. Who knows. Maybe it'll manage to turn me on."_

 _Instead of giving him a chance to respond, she removed her hand from his chin, and got out of bed. She took a couple of steps past him before pulling her pajama shorts and panties enough in one fell swoop that they fell to the floor. With the next step, she stepped completely out of them, leaving herself completely naked and exposed to Matt as she slowly sauntered towards the bathroom. Her back was to him, but she still felt his eyes on her all the while._

" _You're not playing fair," Matt repeated what he'd said earlier. The tone in his voice indicating that he meant it even more now that she was naked._

 _Entering the bathroom, Gabby left the door open and headed straight for the sink and vanity. She grabbed her toothbrush and the bottle of toothpaste and got ready to brush her teeth. As soon as she'd put her toothbrush in her mouth, she saw Matt's reflection appear in the mirror as he entered the bathroom._

 _He walked towards the sink as well, stopping when he was directly behind her. At which point he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her backwards a little so that her bare back was resting against his bare chest. He placed a kiss on top of her head and the let his mouth drift towards her right ear._

" _You know I can't resist this," he huskily whispered before letting one of his hands drift downwards and then backwards until he was running a finger along her folds._

 _For a second, she allowed herself to bask in the feel of his touch along one of her most sensitive regions. It felt so good, but unfortunately, as a moan started to form in her mouth, she found herself forced to shake her head and reach down to remove his hand. If she wasn't careful, she was going to wind up choking on her toothbrush._

 _It was enough to get her to quickly finish brushing her teeth. She probably didn't do a very good job, but oh well. There were better things to do this morning. She tried her best to rinse her toothbrush while spitting out the toothpaste that remained in her mouth. When that didn't work, she just placed the still toothpaste coated toothbrush back in the holder before rinsing her mouth. All done, she turned around to face Matt._

" _Does this mean you've decided to join me?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Matt responded by pulling her in for a kiss._

" _What do you think?" he said once he'd pulled away._

" _Well, you're not exactly dressed for a shower," Gabby pointed out as ran her hand over his boxers._

" _You can always do something about that," Matt suggested._

 _She knew he was inviting her to remove his boxers, but Gabby had a better idea. Teasing him was turning out to be a lot of fun so instead of obliging him or even answering, she ran her hand back up his body and through his chest hair before scooching her way past him and to the shower. She slid the door open just enough to reach the knob and turn the water on. After waiting a minute for the water to warm, she opened the door a little further so that she could get in. Turning towards Matt, she found that he hadn't moved from the spot she'd left him in; his eyes were on her though. Still, she reacted by closing the door behind her. The glass wasn't naturally fogged or anything so he'd have a perfect view until the steam interfered at least, and she fully intended to give him a show._

" _Mmmmm," she said as she threw her head back and let the let the water start to run down her body. "It feels really good in here."_

 _After a minute, she turned and smiled at him before running her hands down her body, making sure to touch every curve. Then she threw her head back again and started playing with her own breasts. She was standing perpendicular to the shower door and facing the left side of shower while Matt was standing to the right. The downside was that she couldn't see what type of reaction her little show was getting. She figured it was the one she had been aiming for though when she felt a swoosh of air that could only indicate the shower door was opening._

" _That's my job," Matt growled as she felt him behind her._

" _Oh, you want to touch," Gabby said as dropped her hands to her side and turned around to face him, only to discover that he still hadn't taken off his boxers. She couldn't help letting out a laugh and shaking her head. "Matt."_

" _What?" Matt questioned as his eyes followed hers. "Oh. I did suggest you take them off."_

" _You did," she agreed._

" _So you gonna take them off now?" he asked._

 _She just looked at him. It wasn't that she wasn't eager to see him in all his glory. She was. She just didn't understand why he was so insistent that she be the one to remove his clothes._

" _It's better when you take them off," it was like Matt could sense what she was thinking. "Besides, I didn't get to enjoy undressing you. I should at least get to enjoy you undressing me."_

" _Are you saying you don't like me stripping in front of you?" Gabby couldn't help but ask._

" _It's not that," he reassured her. "But you're not normally such a tease."_

" _Well, how else was I going to get you in the shower this morning," she pointed out._

 _Instead of waiting for Matt to reply, Gabby got up on her toes and pulled him into a kiss. As her tongue entered his mouth, her hands moved down his body until they reached the elastic on his boxers. She'd ultimately do what he wanted but not yet so instead of pulling on the elastic so that she could remove the article of clothing, she slid one hand into his boxers, smiling inside when she discovered just how her show had affected him._

 _When they needed air and the kiss ended, she finally removed his boxers, tossing them to the side. They were just going to continue to get soaked and now soap covered, and she was going to have to hope that the water didn't catch it and wind up blocking the drain, but at the moment, that was preferable to interrupting the moment to open the shower door and toss the already wet boxers on the bathroom floor._

" _How much time do we have?" Matt asked once he was completely naked._

" _I'm not sure," Gabby admitted. "I bought everything I need to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 13 yesterday so I just need to get there before shift starts. I'm sure I have time to just be here with you."_

" _Good," Matt replied as he reached for Gabby's shampoo. He turned Gabby around so that her back was to him and then squirted shampoo into his hand. Lifting her hair up, he placed several kisses on the back of her neck._

" _Mmmm," Gabby couldn't help but moan at the contact. She could feel him chuckle in response._

 _After a few minutes, he pulled his mouth away from her neck and started lathering the shampoo into her hair. When he was done, he let the water run over his hands, washing away the shampoo. Gabby started to move to put her head under the water to finish washing her hair, only Matt stopped her._

 _With one hand holding her in place and the water pouring down on her frontside, he slid his other hand from her shoulder, down the side of her breast and over her hip until it reached her womanhood. Running his thumb over her clit, he slowly inserted a finger inside her. He practically swooshed it around her insides a few times before starting to thrust it. He moved his finger slowly at first, picking up just a little bit of speed with each movement._

" _Oh God Baby," Gabby gasped as he inserted a second finger. He slowed down again, and like when he was only using one finger, increased the pace as time went on._

" _You like?" Matt asked in response._

 _Gabby's only reply was to nod her head. She was too focused on the sensation he was creating inside her to form any sort of coherent verbal response. Then suddenly he stopped and pulled his fingers out. Confused, Gabby was on the verge of asking what was going on when she felt his fingers grace her entrance again. Then he repeated everything he had done previously until she felt the wave of her orgasm start to hit her._

" _Oh…oh…Matt…oh," she cried as her body practically shook in Matt's grasp while she came._

 _When she'd calmed down enough, Matt released her. As she turned around and positioned herself under the water so that she could finally rinse the shampoo out of her hair, not that she was complaining about the delay, she noticed Matt put one juice-covered finger in his mouth for a moment followed by a second._

" _It's one of my favorite flavors," Matt explained when he noticed her eying him._

 _When she was done with her hair, Gabby went to reach for Matt's shampoo as if she was intending to return the favor by washing his hair. As she reached for the shampoo, she wound up knocking her shaving cream off the caddy and onto the shower floor._

" _Oops," she tried and failed to sound innocent. Now Matt was going to have some idea of the favor she really intended to repay. That didn't stop her from getting down on her knees and reaching out as if she was going to pick up the bottle of shaving cream._

 _Once she was down and in the right position, she placed a kiss on tip before taking him in her mouth. She ran her tongue up and down him as she started to lightly suck._

" _Gabby," Matt moaned the first time she let her teeth graze his member._

 _As she started to suck harder, he reached down and started playing with her hair. She continued to run her tongue around him and occasionally her teeth up and down him, alternating between lightly sucking and continually increasing the pressure until finally he was cumming in her mouth and she was eagerly swallowing his seed._

" _Gabby…Baby…Mmmm…Gabby," Matt cried himself as he started to pull on her hair to steady himself._

 _When she was satisfied that he had fully emptied himself, Gabby released his cock. She placed one last kiss on his tip before standing up, the shaving cream completely forgotten._

" _Now that's one of my favorite flavors," she said before pulling him into a kiss, allowing Matt to taste himself on her lips and tongue._

 _Unfortunately, they'd spent enough time having fun, and in order to ensure they were able to leave for work on time, they were left to each quickly wash their own bodies before getting out of the shower._

" _Aren't you glad you joined me?" Gabby asked as she wrapped her towel around her body, allowing her eyes to scan Matt's naked form one last time as he did the same._

" _I'm always glad to join you," Matt replied. "Wish we'd had more time though."_

" _I know," Gabby said as she wiped a piece of the mirror clear and then grabbed her brush. "To be continued?"_

" _Definitely," Matt said as he headed into their bedroom._

 _Gabby finished up in the bathroom and then followed suit. When she made it into the bedroom, the room was empty. She could hear clanging from the kitchen and smell coffee though, indicating what Matt was doing. Looking at the clock, she discovered that she had been aiming to leave about seven minutes earlier. She'd originally intended to wear civilian clothes and bring her uniform in with her personal stuff so that she could change at the firehouse. Now though she worried she didn't have the time so she grabbed her uniform and threw it on._

 _Putting her hair in a neat bun, she headed into the kitchen where she found Matt sitting at the island, steaming mug of coffee in hand._

" _So ready to start at 13?" Matt asked as she emerged._

" _As I'll ever be I guess," Gabby replied as a wave of nerves hit her stomach. Today would be so much easier if she was going back to work at 51 or if she hadn't been off for weeks before starting someplace new. That hadn't been how life had turned out unfortunately._

" _You're going to do great Gabby," it was like Matt could sense her nerves. She offered him a small smile in response._

" _Guess I should get going if I want to make sure I get there early. Who knows what traffic's going to be like going downtown at this hour," she tried to keep the nerves out of her voice._

" _I left one of your thermos by the coffee pot if you want to take some with you," Matt informed her._

" _I meant what I said earlier about being too nervous to have anything. That wasn't just a ploy to get you in the shower," Gabby replied._

" _And I meant what I said earlier about you doing great," Matt said as he got up and walked towards her. When he reached her, he took her hand in his. "Firehouse Thirteen. Truck Six. However, you want to break it down, they're lucky to have you, and by this time tomorrow, I'm sure they're all going to know it."_

" _Thanks Matt," she said before kissing him. "I love you."_

" _I love you too," he told her. "Have a great day and be careful out there."_

" _I will. You be careful too," she replied._

" _Always," Matt kissed her this time._

" _I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Gabby said with their lips still inches apart._

" _Yeah," Matt agreed._

" _Okay then. Here it goes," Gabby pulled away. After grabbing the meal supplies, she started walking towards the door. Taking her bag but not the box of things from her locker, she headed out the door. She took a deep breath as she got into her car to begin the drive to Thirteen alone. After all this time, going to work without Matt was definitely strange._

* * *

 _Gabby was relieved to find an open space near the front of the lot as she pulled up to Firehouse 13. She hadn't been sure what parking would be like at a firehouse in the heart of the city, but was glad to find she wasn't going to be forced to drive around looking for a spot or pay to park in a public garage. Pulling into the space, she put her car in park and then took in her surroundings._

 _From the outside, the firehouse appeared to be small structure nestled in between two high rises. It was a brown-paneled building that blended in well with the building to its left, almost as if it were an extension of it. Looking through the three garage doors, one of which was currently open, and into the apparatus floor, she saw all the rigs in place as several firefighters moseyed about. If one didn't know better, one would think the apparatus floor was all there was to it. She knew better though. From where she sat, you just couldn't see the doors that would lead to the rest of the house while the high rises masked part of the building. The firehouse parking lot and driveway were on in the same, with the lines that designated the parking spaces, leaving just enough room for the rigs to get in and out when a call came._

 _It was so different from 51, with its green grass and double driveway and street parking. With the ability to see the entire structure from the outside and its neighbors farther away. From the outside, it was clear what 51 was. Here you'd have to look closer. The difference between being in the middle of downtown and on the outskirts, where you were close enough to get it on the action in the heart of the city yet also removed from it and part of your own neighborhood. She doubted there were a lot of neighborhood kids hanging around here. The area would have been mostly filled with office workers and tourists, if the hotels next door and across the street was any indication. Still, there was a similar feeling here as there was at 51. It was quite similar to the feeling at Firehouse 68, where she'd first started as a paramedic too. Must be the feeling of a firehouse._

 _Getting out of her car, Gabby headed into Firehouse 13, where a man leaning against the front of Engine 13 greeted her._

" _Can I help you Candidate?" he clearly noticed her shirt._

" _I'm staring on second watch for Truck 6 today. Are Captain Woods or Chief Miller around?" she replied. Hector Miller was the Chief of the First Battalion and stationed out of Firehouse 13. She knew Deputy District Chief Schwartz from Scuba Ops was also based out of this house, but since he wasn't part of her chain of command, she figured she should only ask for him as a last resort._

" _I thought the current Academy class wasn't graduating for a few more weeks," her greeter pointed out._

" _It might not be. I'm transferring," Gabby explained._

" _Transferring?" the man questioned._

" _It's a long story," Gabby said, hoping that would be the end of it. She didn't want to have to go into detail with whoever this guy was. Fortunately for her another man, this one in the same grey polo Matt often wore, approached them._

" _Dawson?" the Truck lieutenant asked._

" _Yeah," she answered._

" _I'm Lieutenant Martin. First watch on Truck 6. Second watch doesn't typically start rolling in for a little bit longer so the Captain asked me to keep an eye out for you," he introduced himself._

" _It's nice to meet you," Gabby reached out her hand._

" _You too," Lieutenant Martin responded. "I hope Rivera here hasn't been giving you too much trouble. Those scuba guys can sometimes think they're extra special. It's like they forget that this is the Fire Department and they've got nothing to do with putting out fires."_

" _Yeah, well if there was ever a fire on a boat in the lake, what would you do?" the man who'd originally greeted her, Rivera apparently, shot back._

 _So there was a bit of a rivalry between the Fire Suppression and Rescue Division and Special Operations Division on first watch at least. Although, the more Gabby thought about it the more she realized that it was possible it was just between these two men. She'd have to pay attention to how the different companies interacted on her own watch. After all those years of watching a Truck vs. Squad rivalry occasionally flare up at 51, it wasn't like she was unfamiliar with these situations._

" _We wouldn't send in a diver. I can tell you that much," Martin replied. Rivera just glared at him before walking away._

" _Sorry about that," Martin turned his attention back towards Gabby. "The guy's an ass. I just can't resist getting under his skin."_

" _It's fine," Gabby replied._

" _So I know Woods wanted to give you the grand tour, but why don't I at least show you to the locker room so you can put your stuff down," Martin offered._

" _Sounds good," Gabby said before following him._

" _Just pick any unclaimed one," Martin instructed once they reached the locker room._

 _Gabby approached the first empty locker she found. Grabbing the roll of tape and Sharpie from the top of the lockers, she scribbled Dawson over a portion of the tape before cutting it and placing it on the locker. Opening it, she threw her bag in and then set the combination to match her old locker at 51. It would be easier that way. After closing the locker and taking a step back, she just stared at her name on her new locker. Suddenly, everything became more real. She was here for good. This was her new house and she'd just claimed a piece of it._

" _So kitchen," Gabby turned her attention back to Lieutenant Martin and held up the grocery bag she was still holding._

" _Snacks or –?" Martin started to ask before she cut him off._

" _Meal supplies," Gabby explained. "I've been around long enough. I know what the deal is when you're a candidate."_

" _Fair enough," Martin told her before leading the way towards the kitchen. "Hey guys," he called when they entered the kitchen/common room combination. "This is Dawson, second watch's new candidate. Be Kind."_

 _With that Lieutenant Martin headed back out of the room, and Gabby made her way further into it, stopping when she reached the kitchen area. Putting the bag on the counter, she got out the eggs and bacon and bread and butter and cinnamon, getting organized as she did so. She started cooking, oblivious to first watch heading out and second watch starting to head in, until finally the one voice she would have recognized called for her._

" _I see you're settling in okay," Captain Woods observed._

" _Figuring out this kitchen at least," Gabby replied as she looked up from pouring cinnamon on a couple of pieces of bread._

" _Good," Woods told her. "Welcome to Firehouse 13."_

" _Thanks Captain," Gabby replied. "Chow's almost ready."_

" _Great," Woods responded. "Roll call will be in about fifteen minutes. You'll be introduced to the house in there, and then afterwards I'll take you around to actually meet the guys and give you the grand tour. Whenever we get a new firefighter on Truck, I always like to run some drills. Try to get everyone working as a team from the get go so mid-morning we'll start on that. Probably will run a couple more drills in the afternoon too."_

" _Understood," Gabby offered a small smile._

 _When Woods didn't respond, she took that as her queue to return her attention to cooking. About ten minutes later, she was calling everyone to breakfast. Most of the firefighters took their cinnamon french toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon and then headed out of the room, plate in hand. Gabby was confused, and she must have looked it to because suddenly one of them stopped to explain._

" _Cutting it a little close to roll call," a scruffy, blonde man, who looked to be around her age said. "We normally don't get started on breakfast until afterwards, but no one wants to let the food get cold. Everyone's just bringing it with them to the briefing room. You probably should head over in a minute or so too. When you walk out of here, go left. It's the only other door on this floor."_

" _Thanks," Gabby said._

" _I'm Hodges by the way," the man finally introduced himself. "It's Dawson, right?"_

" _Yeah," she replied._

" _Alright. Well, I'll see you in there," Hodges said as he grabbed a few pieces of bacon and then walked away._

 _Gabby served a few more firefighters, and then as the last one headed out, she looked at her watch, discovering that she didn't have time to put the leftovers in the fridge before roll call. Instead she headed out and following Hodges's directions, easily found the briefing room. Walking in, she discovered that like at 51, there were more people than chairs, and since she was the last one in the room, all the chairs were occupied. She went to stand in the back corner, but Woods motioned her towards the front so she took a spot against the wall next to him. Two men stood at the front of the room, ready to address the firehouse. They were clearly the two Chiefs, and based on their jackets, she thought she could guess which one was which. Seconds after she took her spot next to Woods, roll call began. The man she thought was Chief Miller did most of the talking. Gabby assumed that Chief Schwartz was up there primarily in in case he was needed. She'd never been in a house with two Chiefs before so she wasn't really sure how this all worked._

" _And lastly," Chief Miller seemed to be concluding after about ten minutes. "As I'm sure many of you know, Truck 6 is getting a new member today, Gabriela Dawson comes to us from Firehouse 51, and she'll be doing her first several shifts here as a candidate."_

 _Chief Miller paused and motioned towards her, and she stepped forward. She wasn't sure if she was expected to make a speech or say something. Boden normally didn't have a new guy or girl do anything at this point unless they asked to, but they normally stood up there with him, and he always talked to them in advance. Here she was off to the corner and seeing Chief Miller for the first time. Fortunately, after she stepped forward, he just started going again._

" _I'm sure you'll all give her a warm Firehouse 13 welcome. Dismissed," he concluded._

 _Gabby hung around as most of the rest of the firehouse made their way out of the room. Her plan was to follow Captain Woods's lead, and he was standing pat. After a minute or two, she realized that he was just waiting for Chief Miller or maybe both chiefs. The two men were approaching them._

" _Dawson, this is Hector Miller, Chief of Battalion One," Woods words indicating that she had properly identified the man earlier. "He runs the Truck, Engine, and Ambo companies in the house, and this is Bill Schwartz, Deputy District Chief of Scuba Ops."_

" _It's nice to meet you both," Gabby reached out to shake both men's hands._

" _Welcome to Firehouse 13," Chief Schwartz was the first to respond. "I know you're not under my command, but if there's ever anything I can do for you, let me know. We try to help each other out here regardless of company. We're all one house so wherever possible, Chief Miller and I try to work together"_

" _Thanks," Gabby said as Chief Schwartz reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. However, things worked on first watch, at least so far it seemed like the different companies and divisions got along here._

" _It's Jane," he said as he looked at the phone. "I better take this."_

" _His wife," Chief Miller explained. "It's good to finally meet you."_

" _I'm sorry it took me so long to get here," Gabby couldn't help but worry that the delay in her start date had upset her new chief._

" _That wasn't your fault. It's not like you could have known what was going to happen on that call," Chief Miller's words allayed Gabby's concerns. "I've known Wallace Boden for over twenty five years. I was a newly minted Engine lieutenant out of Firehouse 54, and he was a candidate fresh out of the Academy, who had the misfortune of getting assigned to our Truck company. I say misfortune because the Truck lieutenant was a racist bastard, who didn't make things easy for him, so I took him under my wing. After a couple of years, I helped him transfer out. He deserved to be somewhere where everyone would treat him right, and he's been at 51 ever since. It's rare to see someone rise up the ranks all in one house, but I'm not really surprised he managed to do it. He was an eager kid and quick learner. You knew if he wanted to make Chief one day he would._

" _We've kept in touch over the years, and I trust his judgment. Can't say I would have made the same call he did, letting you serve under your fiancée I mean, but if I know Wallace, he wouldn't have done it if he didn't think there was value in keeping you at 51 so I look forward to seeing what you can do," he finished._

" _Thank you Chief," Gabby replied. "I won't let you down."_

" _Glad to hear it. I have some things I need to do, but we're glad to have you here," Chief Miller said. "I'll see you around."_

" _Of course," Gabby responded. She was glad to be getting such a warm welcome so far. Truth be told her nerves this morning hadn't just been because she was starting in a new house but because everyone here knew about her and Matt. It may have only been a few people, but so far no one was holding it against her. With the chiefs among those few people, she might have nothing to worry about. Maybe she could finally relax._

" _So for the tour," Woods began as they followed Chief Miller and left the room. "I know you've seen the briefing room and the common room. They're really all that's up here."_

 _She followed him down the stairs and onto the apparatus floor._

" _The first bathroom is over here," he motioned to a doorway near the bottom of the stairs as they descended. "This one doesn't have showers. There's another bathroom by the bunkroom that does. And through that door is the firehouse offices."_

 _They made their way across the apparatus floor, Woods pointing out each vehicle as they went, and through the rest of the house, and up a second set of stairs, stopping when they found the rest of Truck 6 in the bunkroom. Woods took a few minutes to introduce her to the rest of the company. In addition to Woods and Hodges, there were two other men: the driver, Drew Owens, who Gabby guessed was in his late thirties, and Joel Quinn, who appeared to be in his early fifties._

" _If you'll excuse me, I've got some paperwork I need to take care of," Captain Woods said after about ten minutes. Although Gabby got the sense it was more about giving the rest of the company a chance to bond without their commanding officer present. Regardless of the reason, he headed into his office without another word._

" _Just so you know the Captain's happily married with three kids. His wife's really great. Everyone here loves Michelle," Owens turned towards her as soon as the door to Woods's office was closed. While she didn't know him very well, Gabby thought his tone sounded condescending._

" _Okay," Gabby replied, unsure of why he was bringing this up._

" _So don't go getting any ideas or you'll be driven out of here faster than you can say fire. No one will forgive you. Not that you'd actually have any shot with Woods. The man's not a cheater," Owens continued._

" _What?" Gabby couldn't help but respond. Was this guy saying that he thought she was going to try to have an affair with Woods?_

" _Oh come on Dawson, we all know how you spread your legs at 51," Owens started._

" _Knock it off man," Hodges tried to cut in._

" _Owens," Quinn said at practically the same time. Not that it did any good._

" _We did all see you and Lieutenant Casey playing tonsil hockey the day you got hurt, remember?" Owens plowed on. "So any repeat you're looking for here, just knock that idea out of that pretty head of yours. You can't come in here and get in the boss's pants to get something."_

" _I'm not looking for a repeat of anything, and the only person whose –," Gabby started to defend herself._

" _Oh I know your type," Owens cut her off. "You want what you want. Who cares if you have to wreck someone's home or even your own to do it? Attracted to authority, and well, who fills that role in your life better than your boss? Am I right? Or maybe you think you can get something in exchange for some sexual favors, that it'll help your career if your boss is your lover. Hell, Casey did risk his life for yours. Maybe you just figure it's a dangerous job but having someone you work with so enamored with you makes it safer. Maybe you're a good fuck. I don't know or care, but I got no use for whores, and I really hate your type."_

" _Drew," Quinn tried again._

" _You may have seduced Casey, but –," Owens tried to keep going._

" _I did not seduce Casey," Gabby managed to cut in._

" _Yeah right," Owens rolled his eyes._

" _I did not seduce him. He came to me actually, and our relationship has nothing to do with the fact that he was my lieutenant. Matt and I have been together since before I started on 81, before I even got into the Fire Academy. We're together because we love each other. And my career hasn't benefited in any way because we're together. If anything, it's suffered for it. I mean I'm not here because we got caught in a relationship. I'm here because before anyone outside of 51 had even an inkling about Matt and me, I chose my relationship with him over the chance to keep working in my second home with my best friend and second family. I never got special treatment at 51. We made sure of it. All I've gotten out of my relationship is happiness and the greatest love I've ever known. My engagement is not some career move," she held up her hand, practically shoving her engagement ring in Owens face as if it would prove how serious she was about Matt._

" _It's about the fact that the only life I want is the one I spend with Matt. That game of tonsil hockey you saw, and what type of grown man calls a make-out session tonsil hockey anyways, was about loving each other and needing each other and needing to show it after what had happened. If I was using him or even if I wasn't, but we were anything less than totally in love and in a serious relationship, do you honestly think I would have let myself get caught making out with him? That certainly wasn't a good career move for either of us, but I'd almost died, and he could have gotten killed too. He did get hurt. The only thing that mattered in that moment, the only thing I could see, was the fact that he's the love of my life._

" _And I'm not some slut or some whore. And I'm certainly not a cheater or a homewrecker. I've never acted on any feelings I've had for a taken man, and I can't imagine having feelings for someone other than Matt. I believe he's my soulmate, and I know he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I would never risk what we have. I would never choose a career or anything else over Matt. If I would have, I wouldn't be here. I'd still be at 51. You don't know me or Matt or anything about us. You have no right to judge me, and the last thing I'm going to do is just stand here and listen to this bullshit," Gabby finished before storming out of the room. So much for a great start at Firehouse 13._

* * *

Author's Note: Back when I first started this chapter, I looked up as many pictures of Firehouse 13 that I could fine online and watched a couple of Youtube videos around the firehouse in order to make it accurate. Everything I could find was just of the exterior though. All I could get of the inside was a couple of glimpses through the garage doors so the descriptions of the exterior and neighborhood are I think pretty accurate, but the descriptions of the interior are pretty much made up but based on the little bit I could actually see. Now I don't know if I should mention this or not, but I'm going to. When Gabby went to see Hatcher about Puerto Rico at the end of the finale, guess what firehouse they were in front of. You know I'm not superstitious or anything, but I kind of feel like I should have chosen a different firehouse to send Gabby to in this story, one whose number isn't unlucky.

Okay that does it for now. Once again, please let me know what you thought of this chapter.

Until next time : )


	31. Chapter 31

Author's Note: I want to start by giving my usual thanks to my reviewers and those who've favorited or followed this story. Otherwise, I really don't have too much to say at this point so as promised here's Chapter 31 or depending on how you look at it the second half of Chapter 30. Hope you enjoy, and when you get to the end, please let me know what you think.

Until next time : )

* * *

 _Chapter Thirty One_

 _Furious after her confrontation with Owens, one of her fellow members of Truck 6, over her relationship with Matt, Gabby stormed out of the bunkroom and down the stairs back to the apparatus floor. As she walked across the apparatus floor, she realized she wasn't sure where she was going. She just wanted to get the anger and hurt out. He had no right to talk to her like that. She'd hoped everything that had happened wouldn't come back to bite her. Woods hadn't seemed to care wen they'd first met all those weeks ago. She had taken that as a good sign but hadn't stopped worrying. After how things had gone earlier this morning, she had made the mistake of finally relaxing. Now though she realized that everything she feared about what would happen if people found out about her and Matt had come to pass. Even if it wasn't everyone here, and it seemed like everyone else in the bunkroom at least wanted Owens to stop, there was at least someone who was judging her and holding her personal life against her._

" _You okay?" Hodges voice pulled her from her thoughts._

" _That was fun," she said sarcastically._

" _He was completely out of line up there," Hodges said. "I don't expect you to believe me after what just happened, but Owens is usually a good guy."_

" _He certainly wasn't to me," Gabby replied._

" _No, he wasn't," Hodges agreed. "Look I'm not typically one to gossip or go spilling someone else's business, especially to people they don't really know, but considering you just bared the brunt of something that wasn't really about you, I think you have a right to know."_

" _You're saying that wasn't about me," she didn't believe that._

" _Not really. Come with me," Hodges guided her to a corner, where they wouldn't be overheard. "About a week ago as we were heading out from shift, one of the guys on third shift mentioned that Owens had been sleeping here since their previous shift. Turns out his wife left him a couple weeks ago. Told him she's been having an affair with her boss and wants a divorce. Now Owens hasn't even officially moved out, but his wife's boss is living in his house with his wife and kids so I think you and your old lieutenant are just a stand in for his wife and her boss."_

" _That doesn't excuse what he just said," Gabby argued._

" _I know it doesn't, but if it's any consolation though, my boyfriend thought it was really romantic when I told him about how Casey risked his life and maybe his career to save you." Hodges replied._

* * *

" _We're gonna go one more time," Captain Woods called from his spot on the firehouse driveway._

 _As promised earlier, he was drilling Truck 6. They'd been at it for over an hour, and while they'd changed it up a couple times, they were about to run this particular drill for the third time. They'd attracted a crowd too. One thing that was different about drilling here than at 51 was that a bunch of passerby's stopped to watch for at least a few minutes. Some seemed curious. Some seemed interested. Some seemed to be stopping just because._

 _As everyone was returning to their starting position, the bells went off._

" _Truck 6, Engine 13, Ambulance 74, Battalion 1 Structure Fire," came the call._

" _Alright everyone. You need to clear the driveway and get back," Quinn called to the crowd. Everyone else started to head inside towards the truck. He headed in a minute later._

 _Gabby got her gear on, and then stayed rooted to her spot while everyone else got in. Once Quinn and Hodges were seated in the back of the rig, she would join them. That seemed like the best way to figure out where everyone's spot was and thus where she should sit._

" _You gonna stand there like a coward Dawson or you actually coming?" Owens called from the driver's seat when Hodges was securely in the rig but Quinn was still getting his coat on._

" _I'm coming," Gabby replied. "Just trying to avoid stepping on anyone's toes."_

 _Gabby turned towards Quinn only to discover that he was still putting his gear on so in an attempt to avoid creating more issues with Owens, she got into the rig._

" _I'm sorry if this is your spot," she told Quinn once he finally joined them._

" _Don't worry about it," he responded._

 _And with that they were off. For whatever reason, Gabby couldn't help staring out the window, watching downtown Chicago go by as they headed towards the fire. Eventually though, they approached the low-rise apartment building that was clearly on fire, the Truck slowing and eventually stopping._

" _Dawson, Owens vent the roof. Hodges, Quinn inside with me," Woods called as he stepped down from his seat in the front of the truck._

 _Gabby wasn't exactly pleased with this turn of events. Given how Owens had been treating her, she would have rather worked with anyone else. Still, she wasn't going to argue about assignments, especially not when it was her first call here. She had to figure that Woods either didn't know about what had been going on or hoped that by working together, she and Owens would be able to work things out, and she had to believe that despite the issue Owens seemed to have with her, he wouldn't let it interfere with the job or compromise their safety. So she stayed silent and watched the aerial ascend before following Owens up to the roof._

" _I don't know if they actually taught you anything at 51 or if Casey was more concerned with protecting you so he could keep getting laid –," Owens started._

" _I know what I'm doing," Gabby cut him off._

" _Well, I'm not gonna just believe you," Owens countered. "So just stand out of my way, and I'll explain what I'm doing."_

 _Gabby's first instinct was to argue, but while it took a lot of restraint, she managed to fight it. Her instincts told her that it would be a futile, waste of time, and she didn't really want to further antagonize him when he clearly already had it out for her. So she did what he asked, standing off to the side, listening and watching as he did his job, finding that yes she was right, she knows exactly how to vent a roof from her time on 81._

 _When they were done on the roof, they headed back down for their next round of orders. Eventually they finished up at the fire and headed back to the house. Gabby was surprised when the Truck stopped in the middle of the street in front of the house, and she was even more surprised when her fellow firefighters got out._

" _Come on," Quinn said when he noticed her continuing to sit there._

" _What Dawson, you think all this traffic just magically stops?" Owens said from the driver's seat._

" _The thing with a downtown firehouse is we tend to have to play traffic cop for a couple minutes when returning from a call. Get all the cars and pedestrians out of the way so Owens can back the rig in," Captain Woods explained. If Gabby had to guess, she'd say he didn't pick up on the condescension in Owens's tone._

 _Following the Captain's lead, Gabby got out of the Truck. With Gabby half-observing and half-participating, the traffic came to a stop, and the pedestrians cleared out, allowing Truck 6 to back its way up the firehouse driveway. Once the Truck had cleared the sidewalk, Gabby and her fellow firefighters began the walk into 13, the city around them coming back to life._

* * *

 _Gabby sat in the Firehouse 13 common room with various members of Truck, Engine, and the scuba team scattered around. Every so often someone would ask her something, but she wasn't really participating. Her goal was more to get a feel for the dynamics of the house than anything else. Looking at the clock, she saw that it was almost noon. Thinking it was probably time to make lunch, she started to get up, only to stop when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Reaching in, a smile formed on her face when she saw Matt had texted._

" _How was your first call?" the message read._

" _Checking up on me, huh?" she wrote back._

" _I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't even looked at the dispatch computer," Matt replied._

" _Yeah sure," Gabby responded._

" _I'm serious," Matt insisted. "Shay and Brett just got back from Med. Shay mentioned that she saw your medics as they were leaving. Looked like they were dropping someone off after a fire."_

" _And here I was thinking it was all sweet that you were following when we got called out," Gabby couldn't resist._

" _Didn't say I haven't been tempted. And it's not like you're the only one whose had a call this morning. Why do you think Shay and Brett were at Med?" Matt replied._

" _Everything okay?" something about the way Matt wrote that told her it hadn't been good._

" _It was a rough one," was all Matt wrote back._

" _What happened?" she asked._

" _16-wheeler lost control and plowed into a restaurant. Scene was a mess. Lots of injured but only one casualty. We lost a kid," reading Matt's words broke her heart. How she wished she could pull him into a hug, but she was here and he was there._

" _I'm sorry babe. I can call if you want to talk," she offered, hoping it would provide some comfort._

" _This is fine," he replied. "Don't really want to think about it."_

" _Well, if there's anything I can do, I'm just a phone call or text away," she just hoped they wouldn't be on a call at the time._

" _I know. Just tell me about your call," Matt replied._

" _Nice and boring. Apartment fire, but everyone made it out ok. The woman Shay saw Barnes and Evans dropping off had to be treated for smoke inhalation. That was it though. Good to have the first call out of the way," Gabby explained._

" _You settling in okay?" he asked_

" _Yeah. For the most part," she asked._

" _Most part?" he picked up on her choice of words. "What's going on?"_

" _I'm still getting my bearings a little. Pretty much everyone's been good so far," she replied._

" _But someone hasn't?" Matt continued to poke. He knew her too well. She clearly wasn't going to be able to dodge this one._

" _One of the guys is an asshole. Nothing I can't handle," Gabby admitted._

" _I'm sure you can. But if you ever want a visit from 81," she shook her head as she read Matt's words._

" _I can fight my own battles Matt. Always could," while the fact that he cared meant a lot, she always hated the way he'd step in when she didn't ask._

" _I know you can. Just always willing to help," he replied._

" _It'll just make things worse. Just intend to keep my head down and prove I belong here," she informed him._

" _Hey Dawson," a voice called, pulling Gabby's attention away from her conversation with Matt. Looking up she saw Mitch Barnes, the PIC on Ambulance 74, approaching her._

" _Leslie Shay said to say hi," Barnes continued._

" _How did she seem? Was she okay?" Gabby asked. After what Matt had told her about their call, her thoughts were with everyone at 51, especially her best friend._

" _We just kind of passed each other. Didn't stop and talk or really get a look," Barnes replied. "Why?"_

" _They had a pretty awful call this morning. Sounds like we should be glad it wasn't us," she just wished it hadn't been the people she cared so much about._

" _Casey tell you that?" Owens interrupted. "You two sexting or something? Why don't you get your head out of your love life and make yourself useful? We could use lunch."_

 _Gabby was on the verge of protesting. He had no right to talk to her like that. So what if she texting with Matt, texting not sexting. She'd never met anyone who didn't occasionally talk to their family on shift. And she was certainly good for a lot more than food. Only her stomach picked that moment to let out a growl. She was clearly hungry too._

" _Stop being such as ass. I'm sure if they actually were sexting, she wouldn't be out here with us," Harrington from Engine said. Gabby wasn't sure whether she should be grateful or not. It wasn't really much of a defense._

" _Guess I am hungry," Gabby referenced the stomach growl, assuming everyone had heard it. "So I will make lunch but not because you so rudely asked me to. And for your information, my fiancée and I have a right to talk to each other whenever we want. It's called caring about someone. Maybe that's a foreign concept to you."_

" _Until it interferes with your ability to do your job, and making lunch is part of your job Candidate," Owens retorted. "I'd think that after nearly a year as a candidate you'd know that. Or did you get off easy in exchange for sexual favors? Maybe all it took was a blow job in Casey's office, and he was ordering someone else to cook and clean."_

" _Owens my office NOW," Captain Woods angrily called as he walked into the common room. Gabby wasn't going to let Owens get away without hearing from her though._

" _How DARE you," she barked. "Yes, I did the cooking and cleaning and all the other grunt work candidates do. As I told you this morning, Matt and I were always professional at work. Ask anyone else from 51, and they'll tell you the same thing. We did keep our relationship, including our sex life, out of the firehouse while I was on Truck 81. For you to insinuate otherwise is the most sexist and disrespectful position you could take. Maybe it says something about what you'd want if you were in charge of a female firefighter. If so, you're a pig."  
_

" _Don't flatter yourself. You're not my type," Owens was practically smirking._

" _I realize that I'm going to have to earn the respect of everyone here. Any new person would, and a morning probably isn't enough time to do that. I get all that. But I also haven't done anything to deserve to be treated this way. It's no wonder…," Gabby's voice trailed off as she realized she wasn't supposed to know that his wife had left him._

" _No wonder what?" Owens picked up on her hesitation._

" _It's no wonder you had an open spot here," she quickly recovered. "You probably drove my predecessor away."_

" _If you don't have thick enough skin, you should just get out," Owens told her._

" _Oh, I have more than thick enough skin. I'm not going anywhere so get used to it," Gabby replied._

" _Owens NOW. Don't make me tell you a third time," Woods cut in._

" _Yes Captain," Owens shot one more glare in Gabby's direction before following Woods out of the common room._

" _Sorry about that," Gabby said awkwardly. She could feel everyone's eyes on her. All she could do was hope that the scene she'd just participated in hadn't colored the way anyone here saw her._

" _Not your fault. You were just standing up for yourself," one of the guys from the scuba team, she thought his name was Wilson but wasn't positive yet, said._

" _Thanks," she offered him a small smile. "So lunch?"_

 _After a bunch of firefighters replied in the affirmative, Gabby headed into the kitchen to get the ingredients she'd brought with her for the tacos she intended to make for lunch. Once she was settled in at the counter, she finally took her phone back out to read the last text she'd gotten from Matt._

" _We're his issue, huh?" it said._

" _Yup," she wrote back._

" _You can say it Gabby. I know you want to," Matt's response made her smile._

" _Told you not everyone here would be ok with us," she replied._

" _Yes you did," he texted next._

" _You really okay after what happened earlier?" she needed to be sure so she could focus on lunch._

" _I'm doing okay. Promise," his response read. "Wish you were here but glad you didn't have to see all that."_

" _Ok. Everyone here's looking for lunch," she accidentally hit send before finishing._

" _So you gotta go?" Matt asked._

" _Yeah. But I'm here if you need me. Love you," Gabby answered._

" _Love you too," he said. "We'll talk later."_

" _Definitely," Gabby smiled before putting her phone back in her pocket._

 _She was about to turn her attention fully to the taco meat when it hit her. For the first time since she'd met Matt, he'd been on a bad call that she knew nothing about. She had no idea what had happened. She didn't know what he'd seen and heard. She hadn't been there to go through it with him. Everything she could imagine he was feeling was only based on a few words in a text message. Could she still support him in the way she always had under these circumstances?_

 _Sure, the fact that she was always there had made her and Matt's circumstances unique. Chief and Hermann and Mouch, their wives and girlfriends weren't on shift with them. They didn't know what went on during any call, let alone all of them. Yet as far she knew, Donna, Cindy, and Trudy managed to support to the men they loved when things were rough. Why couldn't she do the same? Still, she'd feel better if she knew more about what had happened._

" _Hey, would you guys mind putting on the local news?" she called._

* * *

 _The first thing Gabby noticed as she pulled up to her apartment building was that there was no sign of Matt's truck. He'd probably gotten held up at 51, but that didn't change the fact that the realization that she'd beaten him home had left her with a sense of disappointment, and not just because she'd figured he'd be the first one home; they lived closer to 51 than 13 after all. The main thing was that they hadn't spoken about the call that was clearly bothering him when he texted her before lunch. They hadn't really spoken at all. Just a random I love you in the afternoon and a goodnight before she went to bed. She knew that was normal for most couples, but it wasn't normal for them. Even both times she was on medical leave while he was not, they'd spoken several times a day. That probably had something to do with her going stir crazy, but it didn't change the fact that since they'd gotten together, this was the longest they'd gone without having a real conversation. Not that he hadn't been a constant presence in her mind._

 _What's more she was worried about him. From what she'd seen on the news yesterday and been able to read online, the call 51 had been on yesterday was the type that had the potential to haunt the first responders. As Matt had told her, somehow there was only one DOA. A five year old boy who'd been sitting in the booth in front of the window the 16-wheeler rammed into. He'd basically been crushed and likely died on impact. While Matt hadn't known it when they were texting, the boy was not the only casualty. Two others had died at the hospital, and that didn't account for all the other injuries, many of them gruesome. It was the sort of scene that could give one nightmares._

 _Every first responder knew how to compartmentalize. It was one of the first things they learned. The ones that didn't burned out quickly. It was the only way to survive this job. Knowing how to compartmentalize didn't mean it was always easy though. Every first responder had those calls that they couldn't just forget. The ones that stuck with them, that affected them for days or weeks. Even some that would occasionally pop into their head years later. Based on what she knew, she had no doubt that for at least some of her friends at 51, this was one of those calls. She really hoped Matt was okay._

 _Sighing, she got out of her car and headed inside the building. As she entered her apartment, she threw her bag on the box of items from her locker, silently reminding herself to grab it before next shift. She'd meant what she'd said yesterday. There was no way Drew Owens was driving her from Firehouse 13. She shook her head as if to shake away the thought of the man who had quickly become her least favorite person._

 _Heading further into the apartment, she stopped in the living room. Picking up a photo of her and Matt, her eyes immediately settled on Matt's smile. She loved his smile, the way he smiled with his whole face. As far as she was concerned it wasn't just his face that lit up when he smiled, but the whole room. Staring at Matt's smile, Gabby promised herself that if he was struggling with what he'd seen yesterday, she'd do everything she could to make sure he smiled at least once today. Making his favorite breakfast seemed like a good place to start so placing the photo back down, she headed into the kitchen, intent on making the ham and cheese omelets he loved so much._

 _Just as she cracked the first egg, she heard the door open._

" _Gabby," came Matt's voice seconds later._

" _Kitchen," she called back._

" _I've missed you," Matt said as he entered the kitchen._

" _I missed you too," Gabby looked up from the eggs to smile at him._

" _Making breakfast, huh?" Matt observed as he came up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist._

" _Yup," she simply replied as he leaned down and started kissing her neck._

" _Matt," she laughed. "I'm trying to cook."_

" _It's been a long twenty-four hours without you," Matt explained._

" _You've been spending twenty-four hour shifts away from me for weeks," Gabby pointed out. She wasn't sure if this was just Matt having missed her or if he was trying to distract himself from what he'd seen yesterday._

" _Yeah, but it's different now that you're back on shift," he said._

" _If you're worried about me –," Gabby started as she finished the omelets and turned off the stove. It was easy to remember how freaked out he was after she'd gotten trapped, and she couldn't help but assume that had been on his mind all day._

" _It's not that," Matt cut her off and spun her around. "Not that I don't worry about something happening to you. I always have. Even when you were still PIC so yeah I worry about you as a firefighter under someone else, but I know how to handle worrying about you. You going to shift at a different house that's new though. And I know you've been dealing with having to move on from 51 for months, but yesterday what it means became more real to me at least."_

" _Matt," she wrapped her arms around his neck._

" _Let me finish," he requested. "Everything hit me in a way it hasn't before. Starting the paperwork for your transfer, being told where you were going, getting a new candidate. None of that affected me the same way walking into 51 for shift and knowing that you probably had already done the same thing somewhere else. We're never gonna work together again Gabby. We may wind up occasionally responding to the same call, but that's it. We're never going to get to drive to work together again or hang out in the firehouse. I know we've been professional. It's been a long time since we've had sex in the showers or made out in the back of the ambo, but we still got to spend time together on shift. Now that chapter of our relationship is over. Don't get me wrong. It's worth it. It's more than worth it. I just have to think about how the sight of you in a white dress at the end of the aisle is going to take my breath away or how amazing it's going to feel to say I do and hear you say it back to know that. That doesn't change the fact that I'm going to miss that chapter in our lives."_

" _Oh, I get it. Believe me I get it," she replied. "Once we finally managed to figure things out, we did a pretty good job working together. It was nice to be there with you. Even if 13 winds up being a great place to be, it's not 51. I missed seeing you, hanging out with Shay, hanging out with everyone. I really wanted to be with you yesterday, but I know that I will never regret choosing you. Never."_

 _She leaned up to kiss Matt, and he quickly responded. As their kisses got more intense, they started moving backwards. Gabby wasn't sure if it was just a natural reaction or if Matt intended to lift her onto the counter. It didn't matter though because her back wound up hitting the frying pan she'd used to make the omelets. Fortunately, it was just the handle and not the actual pan. That would have undoubtedly left a mark and not the sort of mark she wanted. Still, it was enough to remind her of what she'd been doing when Matt first got home._

" _Hey," she regretfully pulled away. "We should eat before it gets cold. Made your favorite."_

" _I saw," Matt said as he continued to hold her._

" _Can you get something to drink?" Gabby asked as she wormed her way out of his arms and towards the cabinet that held the plates. Grabbing two she threw an omelet onto each of them, and then headed towards the table, where Matt, carrying the botte of orange juice and two glasses, joined her a minute later._

" _So what's this for?" Matt asked once they were both seated._

" _What? I can't make your favorite just because?" Gabby retorted._

" _You can, but I know you. It just feels like there's something more to this than you just wanting a ham and cheese omelet," he replied._

" _Okay fine. I wanted to do something nice for you," she admitted. "That call you guys had yesterday sounded pretty awful. I wasn't sure how you were doing so I figured I'd pamper you a little. Maybe if you were taking it hard, it would help."_

" _So I should pretend I'm being haunted by that call is what you're saying," Matt's tone indicated that his mind was very much in the gutter._

" _Seriously Matt. Are you okay after yesterday?" Gabby didn't take the bait._

" _I'm fine," he insisted. "Not gonna pretend that was my favorite or the most fun shift, but I'm handling things okay. Promise."_

" _Good," she felt relieved. "I hated being stuck at 13 and not able to be there for you. Wasn't sure if you weren't reaching out because you didn't need me or because you just didn't want to bother me with what you were going through."_

" _I always need you," he replied. "And I will call you just to hear your voice if it's what need in the moment. But we do need to get used to getting through the tough calls without being at each other's sides."_

" _So we're just like everyone else now, huh?" Gabby pointed out._

" _Guess so. It doesn't mean we still can't reach out to each other when things get tough though," Matt replied. "I know for a fact that Hermann usually calls Cindy and the kids after a bad call. Just because they weren't there doesn't mean they don't help him cope."_

" _Speaking of everyone else," she changed the subject. "How was everyone else all shift? I asked 13's paramedics about Shay after they got back to the house, but they didn't really know anything."_

" _Shay's doing alright. She was a little less Shay than usual the rest of shift, but she's handling things," he reassured her. "Things were subdued. No one was in a good mood for most of shift, but for the most part, we hung in there. Brett and Ross seemed to take it the hardest. Cruz spent a lot of time trying to distract or comfort Brett. She broke down a few times after they got back. And Ross, well, this was his first really bad call."_

" _First one's always the hardest," Gabby commented._

" _Yeah. I guess all we can do now is see if he recovers from this or if it breaks him," Matt replied. "The chaplain stopped by in the afternoon to check in on us and in case anyone wanted to talk. I think Ross took him up on it."_

" _Good. If anyone can help, he can," she remembered how much Chaplain Orlovsky had helped her. Although she supposed that hadn't happened here._

" _So how was your shift?" Matt asked._

" _It was alright. Woods drilled us a lot yesterday. Apparently, he does that every time they get a new person," Gabby started._

" _Probably not a bad idea," Matt cut in. "Of course, I tend to get candidates fresh from the Academy."_

" _That's because they know you're a good teacher. As for the rest of shift, we got two more calls. A minor car accident and a false alarm at one of the downtown hotels. Some idiot was smoking in their room and set off the fire alarm. Apparently, even when they know it's a false alarm, we have to respond as if there was actually a fire."_

" _And the people?" he followed up, reminding her that she'd mentioned how Owens had been treating her when they were texting._

" _It hasn't been long enough to make friends or anything. Most of them having been welcoming. One of the guys has been really supportive, and it generally seems like a good house. I really miss having Shay and Brett around though. I know that I've been the only woman on shift before, but I forgot how much nicer it is to have company. I'm already looking forward to when Moore gets back from maternity leave, and I've never even met her. As for the asshole," she figured it might be better not to mention which guy was the problem. "After you and I talked yesterday morning, he mostly ignored me unless he had to interact with me during a drill or a call. Even that was very formal. You could tell he was trying too hard to be somewhat nice. Probably had something to do with whatever Woods said to him after the Captain overheard him asking if I gave blow jobs to get out of doing the grunt work."_

" _He what?" Matt's voice and face were filled with rage. "Which one was he? I don't care how Woods said or did about it. Some guy you work with does not get to –"_

 _Realizing that Matt had misinterpreted what had happened, Gabby reached for his hand in an attempt to calm him._

" _Hey. Hey. Babe," she interrupted. "That's not what I meant. He wasn't trying to get me to do anything with him. He was accusing me of using our relationship, really our sex life, to avoid being a normal candidate. It came out of the fact that I hadn't started lunch when he would have liked and the fact that he knew I was talking to you. Trust me, if he really had tried to proposition me, you wouldn't have had to do something to him because I would have already done it."_

" _Okay. If he ever does anything to you, I want to know," Matt insisted._

" _Yeah because taking it to you is gonna make me real loved at 13," Gabby replied. "The guys a jerk. Made it very clear from the get go that he doesn't approve of the fact that when I was at 51, I was sleeping with my lieutenant. He's clearly got an issue with me and us. Well, according to Hodges it's really not about us directly."_

" _Hodges?" Matt questioned._

" _One of the other guys on Truck," Gabby explained. "I guess I could look at it this way. He's taken it so far that if anyone else does take issue with my former lieutenant also being my fiancée, they're probably not going to say anything or let it impact how they treat me in case how he's acting starts reflecting on them._

" _You know," she decided to change the tone of their conversation. "It might have been worth a shot. Would have at least been fun."_

" _What?" Matt didn't seem to be following._

" _Sneaking into your office to give you a blow job or to do other things instead of the cleaning at least," Gabby clarified before taking the last bite of her omelet. "I did always enjoy the cooking."_

" _You do give the most incredible blow jobs," Matt replied as he got up and walked towards her._

" _Oh yeah," Gabby said as she got up as well._

" _Yeah," Matt pulled her into an embrace before whispering in her ear. "Not that anyone else gets to know. The thought of your mouth on any part of someone else's body…"_

" _No one else will ever get to experience it," she pulled him into a passionate kiss as if to prove it._

" _Good," he gasped once they broke apart for air. "You know just the thought of your mouth down there is enough to start turning me on."_

" _Funny. It turns me on too," Gabby replied._

" _I think I remember us making a deal yesterday morning that we probably should keep," Matt pointed out before pulling her into another kiss._

 _Meanwhile, Gabby snaked her hands up under the back of his shirt, letting them roam his skin. She wanted to just pull the thing off, but she wanted to keep feeling his lips and his tongue even more._

" _Bedroom?" Matt somehow managed to mutter between kisses._

" _Definitely," she did pull away slightly at this point. Just enough to turn around and take his hand. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the dirty dishes. Cleaning up could wait. Matt was far more urgent. With his hand clasped firmly within hers and the warmth already pooling within her, she carefully led him towards their bedroom._

* * *

It was early afternoon when Camila and Ramon arrived at Lakeshore. It was a tad after lunchtime, but they hadn't eaten yet. They wouldn't be going to the cafeteria or anything. At this point, they'd had enough of that to last a lifetime. Instead they'd stopped at a sub shop between their house and the hospital, getting three sandwiches and bottles of water to go. A chicken caesar wrap for Camila, a steak and cheese sub for Ramon, and a chicken parmesan sub for Matt. Matt didn't know they were getting him lunch so he certainly hadn't requested anything in particular, but Camila figured he probably hadn't thought to get food on his own and they'd eaten with Matt enough over these nearly three months to have an idea of what he liked. Besides, not only had she seen him eat chicken parmesan on more than one occasion, but she remembered the day he'd ordered it simply because it was one of Gabriela's favorites. That fit in with the mood she'd been in since this morning. In fact, Camila had almost ordered chicken parmesan for herself instead of the wrap. Her daughter's love for both the sandwich and entrée hadn't been enough to overcome the fact that she wasn't in the mood for something so heavy though, and she couldn't help but wonder what that said about her.

Before she could contemplate that too much, the elevator dinged and doors opened. They had reached Gabriela's floor. Getting out, she and Ramon silently made the walk that they could undoubtedly make in their sleep from the elevator to Gabriela's room, greeting the all too familiar nurses and orderlies as they passed.

As they entered Gabriela's room, they found what was also a familiar sight. Matt was sitting in his usual chair, which he'd pulled as close to the bed as possible. The chair was positioned so that he could see Gabriela's face without having to turn his head, and as usual with one hand he was holding Gabriela's and with the other, he was stroking her cheek.

"Have the doctors been by since she got back here?" Ramon asked as he and Camila took their seats on the opposite side of Gabriela's bed.

They'd learned long ago not to read too much into when the doctor came to give them the results of Gabriela's tests. Sometimes it was shortly after they'd finished running the tests and sometimes it was late in the afternoon. There didn't seem to be any pattern to it, but the results were always the same. There was no change. Gabriela wasn't getting worse, but she wasn't getting better. At this point, Camila found it easier not to expect anything different. She hoped that one day she'd be surprised. She was certainly not giving up hope. But this way, her heart didn't break all over again and she didn't risk bursting into tears every time she got the news.

"No," Matt quietly answered.

Camila couldn't help but take the man in as he did so. She admittedly hadn't known Matt too well before that awful February morning. She'd liked him, thought he was a good man, and knew that for most of their relationship at least, he'd made her daughter incredibly happy. She knew her son liked him a lot, and considering that Antonio had rarely liked any of Gabriela's boyfriends, she thought that said something. But she certainly didn't know him as a person. They'd spoken a handful of times since he and Gabriela first got together, usually because he popped in while she and Gabriela were video-chatting, and they'd seen each other in person even less. She'd probably seen him more before Gabriela had started dating him, and that was probably no more than five times, all before she and Ramon had retired to the Domincan Republic three and a half years ago. Although she'd paid far more attention to him after he became her daughter's boyfriend. And over the years, she'd heard Gabriela mention her friend Casey numerous times. In hindsight, she'd mentioned him more than anyone other than her late best friend and partner, Shay. Camila hadn't picked up on that at the time though, let alone read anything into it.

It was obvious that Gabriela's situation had had a profound effect on him. Not just in his actions over these months, but in everything about him. It wasn't just that he was barely eating or sleeping. Or that he'd obviously lost a lot of weight or had bags under his eyes that could rival a college student who'd been up cramming for days. Or the fact that he'd been living in a hospital room for nearly three months because he couldn't bring himself to leave her daughter's bedside. He'd given up his life because of what had happened to Gabriela, but it was obvious that there was nothing he wouldn't give up if it would just bring Gabriela back to them. He seemed like a shadow of the man she'd remembered "meeting" at O'Hare a little over a year ago. There was this incredible aura of sadness and desperation around him. Maybe it was around all of them, but she couldn't help seeing it when she looked at him. If Gabriela was seeing Matt right now, she doubted her daughter would be seeing the man she loved. Something told her that the only way to bring that man back was for Gabriela to wake up. Then, and only then, would the light return to him.

Camila had to admit that when Gabriela first told her she was dating Matt, she had been concerned. It wasn't that she thought Matt was a bad guy, but she had been worried that her daughter would get hurt. She had remembered barely six months earlier when Gabriela had talked about how worried she was about her friend Casey. The man's ex-fiancée had been murdered only a few days after they'd gotten back together, and he wasn't handling it well. While that was understandable, upon finding out he was dating her daughter, she couldn't help but worry that not enough time had passed for him to be ready to move on, that he was simply using Gabriela as a distraction, a way to stop hurting. The fact that he had a failed engagement under his belt had also concerned her too. What did that say about his level of commitment? Was he someone who liked the idea of marriage in theory but not as it got closer or didn't really take the idea of marriage seriously? She'd been reminded of those early concerns when Gabriela had told her their engagement was also being called off. Now though she didn't think it would have been possible for Gabriela to find someone who loved her more.

"Your mother ran into Marie Carson at the supermarket this morning. We're having dinner with her and Neal this weekend. We haven't done anything with our friends in a long time. I'm not even sure about what to do to be honest, but your mother thought Marie was offended that we hadn't let her know we were back in town. And you know your mother. She's not just going to let someone feel slighted when they shouldn't be," the sound of Ramon talking to Gabriela startled Camila, pulling her focus away and her thoughts and back to the room.

Glancing at Matt she saw a flash of something, she wasn't really sure what, cross his face. She was pretty sure he didn't understand though. For a man who was adamant that he would not leave Gabriela's bedside until she was awake, the thought that Gabriela's parents would have a social dinner must seem completely inappropriate or even be interpreted as a sign that they were starting to give up and move on.

"We're not abandoning Gabriela or prioritizing our friendships over her," Camila tried to explain to Matt.

"I wasn't going to say you were," Matt replied.

"I'm sure you were thinking it though," Camila said. "And it's okay. We're not though. If our presence alone was enough for Gabriela to wake up, she'd have woken up months ago. And while I'd rather be here, we all need to eat. I wouldn't have said yes if we'd been invited to go to a movie or something. I think this dinner will be good for all of us, and I think Gabriela would want us to go too instead of cutting ourselves off from the world."

Matt simply nodded in response, leaving Camila unsure of whether or not she'd gotten through to him. Regardless, the three of them sat in an awkward silence for a minute before Ramon starting speaking to Gabriela again.

"I'm sure once we tell them why we're back in town and why we haven't reached out, they'll come to see you. I'm sure a lot more of your mom's and my friends are going to find out what happened to you and stop by," he said. "Would you like that?"

Before anyone could say anything else, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Ramon called.

"Good afternoon," Dr. Sanders said as he walked into the room.

"Afternoon," Camila replied.

"That depends on what you're going to tell us, doesn't it?" Matt pointed out. Camila sighed even though she'd learned a while ago not to admonish Matt for being rude about this.

"Straight to the point as always Matt," Dr. Sanders commented.

"I just want to know how Gabby is," Matt insisted. Everyone knew he left one thing unsaid, that he needed to hear that she was going to be okay and wake up soon.

"I know you do. You know I admire how much you clearly love her," Dr. Sanders said.

"If you knew her, you'd know how easy it is," Matt replied. "That's not why you're here though."

"Okay," Dr. Sanders gave in. "As you know we ran another round of tests on Gabriela this morning. Unfortunately, the tests show no change. She's still registering in the same place on the Glasgow Coma Scale that she was in the days after the car accident. The good news is that she's still showing a healthy amount of brain activity, but there are no signs of improvement. I'm sorry I don't have better news for you, but all we can do at this point is monitor her and hope for the best."

Camila sighed. It was the same news, practically the same speech, he'd bene giving them for weeks. She wouldn't be surprised if she'd already heard these words fifty times. As much as she tried not to expect better news, it still hurt a little to hear the same news once again. News that meant that today was just another day in this long nightmare, a nightmare with no end in sight.

* * *

"We're supposed to bring desert," Camila said seemingly out of nowhere as she and Ramon stepped out of the elevator in the Lakeshore Hospital parking garage and turned left. It was Saturday night, and they were on their way to their car and then to Marie and Neal Carson's house for dinner.

"We can stop at the supermarket on the way," Ramon offered as they approached their car, which was about ten spaces away from the elevator.

"We'll have to," Camila sighed as Ramon unlocked the car and they got in. In the past, she'd always taken the time to bake desert or make whatever else she was supposed to bring. She was too proud and like her daughter enjoyed cooking and baking too much to normally consider buying something instead so she knew her friend would be surprised when they arrived with a store bought desert. What she didn't know was whether her friend would see the store-bought desert and know that something was wrong or interpret it as Camila not caring and be offended.

Regardless, they didn't have a choice so they stopped at the store and looked around the bakery section before ultimately settling on two items. The first was a package of red velvet cupcakes while the second was a package of eclairs. Camila wasn't sure how well the two items would go together, but Ramon had his heart set on the eclairs while she insisted on the cupcakes in order to honor Gabriela.

Now they were in the Carson's driveway and Ramon was turning the car off. Camila felt a wave of apprehension hit her as they got out and made their way up the walkway to the front door. She wasn't looking forward to explaining what had happened to Gabriela to her friends. She wasn't looking forward to the sympathetic looks and attempt at comforting that she knew she was going to get. She wasn't even sure how to say the words without feeling like she was getting punched in the gut. She didn't see how they would get through this dinner without broaching the topic though. They reached the front door, and Ramon rang the bell. Now all they could do was wait.

"Hi," Neal said as he opened the door. "Come in. Marie's in the kitchen."

"Thanks," Camila replied as she stepped into the house.

Neal took her and Ramon's coats and started leading them towards the kitchen when he spoke again.

"It's good to see you," he began. "I have to admit I was surprised when Marie told me she'd run into Camila."

"We've had some stuff going on since we got back. Haven't had a chance to reach out to or see anyone beyond the kids," Ramon replied while Camila stiffened. She wasn't ready to have this conversation. Why couldn't it have waited until later?

"I'm sorry I'm a bit behind," Marie called as they entered the kitchen, prompting Camila to relax a little. Maybe they wouldn't be having this conversation right now.

"Jeffrey stopped by unexpectedly this afternoon. Was here for a couple of hours, and I got a late start. There's about an hour left on the pot roast," the woman continued. At a year and a half older than Gabriela, Jeffrey was the youngest of the Carson's three sons.

"We could have rescheduled or come later if you needed," Ramon commented. If they'd known dinner wouldn't be ready until later or moved dinner to another night, they could have spent more time at the hospital.

"No…no. This is good," Marie replied.

"Is everything okay?" Camila asked. Despite all of her own problems, she wasn't blind to the shakiness in her friend's voice or the obviously fake smile on her face.

"Not really," Marie answered but didn't elaborate, clearly not wanting to talk about whatever was going on.

"Maybe this sounds selfish, but you're probably the best people we could have over right now. It wasn't all that long ago that you were in our position," Neil said absentmindedly.

"What do you mean?" Ramon asked. He wasn't following and neither was Camila.

"Oh sorry. I suppose it would help to tell you why Jeffrey was here," Neil replied before pausing for a moment. Ultimately, he continued though. "Jeffrey stopped by because he thought he should tell us some news in person, and honestly, I think he was looking for some comfort. Tracy asked for a divorce this morning. Apparently, she's been having an affair and decided she'd rather be with this other guy. Jeffrey said he had no idea. I know it's not quite what happened between Antonio and Laura –"

"But divorce is divorce," Ramon supplied.

"That and Antonio and Jeffrey both had the woman they love leave them," Neil said. "You've seen your son go through something at least similar."

"I'm sure I could get you the name of Antonio's lawyer if Jeffrey wants," Ramon offered. Under different circumstances, he would have offered to do more, but right now neither he nor Antonio were in a place where they could focus on too much beyond Gabriela and certainly not someone else's problems.

"That would be good," Neil replied.

"It's just so awful," Marie finally said something. "I mean I never liked Tracy. Never trusted her. A large part of me isn't surprised that this happened, but to see my baby boy so hurt and devasted. I've never seen him look so crushed, like it broke him. Seeing him like that was so awful. It completely broke my heart. I'm sure you felt the same way with Antonio. As a parent that has to be the worst feeling in the world, doesn't it?"

Camila pursed her lips together but didn't say anything. A large part of her wanted to go off on her friend. It was a rather myopic thing to say. As a parent, there were far worse things you could watch your child go through, far worse things you could feel. She unfortunately knew that first hand. As awful as it was watching her son go through the heartbreak of having his wife leave him and his kids not always there, watching her daughter spend months lying in a hospital bed without showing any sign of waking up was infinitely worse. She knew Marie wasn't trying to be insensitive though. The woman had no idea that Gabriela had been in a car accident never mind what had or rather hadn't happened afterwards and what it was doing to the Dawson clan, and Camila still didn't feel ready to have that conversation. With that in mind, she really couldn't fault her friend for not being able to see beyond her own upsetting circumstances.

"Where's Jeffrey now?" Ramon sensed the tension building in his wife. "He didn't go home with Tracy there did he?"

"No, he's staying with Peter until he can figure something else out," Neil referenced the middle Carson son.

"Good," Ramon replied.

"Something wrong Camila?" Marie sensed her silence on the topic.

"I'm fine," Camila said somewhat curtly but no one seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't say anything.

"You know I've been trying to find a silver lining to this all afternoon," Marie definitely didn't notice. "And I would never say this to Jeffrey. At least not right now. I know that for some reason he loves Tracy, but I guess if there is a silver lining, it's that he will eventually move on and fall in love again. And now he has the chance to love and build a life with someone better. Someone who fits with him and deserves his love."

"I suppose," Camila absentmindedly replied. It wasn't really something she could relate to. She and Ramon had always liked Laura, well at least until she'd left Antonio, then they'd taught themselves to hate her. More than that though, she was really only half paying attention to what was being said. Still, she felt like agreeing was the right thing to do.

"Remember how when they were little, we used to talk about how great it would be if Jeffrey and Gabriela wound up together?" Marie seemed to perk up as she took the trip down memory lane. "Actually being family, sharing grandkids."

"I remember," Camila responded as she shot Ramon a wary look. She had a feeling she knew where this was going, but she didn't know how to stop it.

"I know they had different friends by the time they got to high school, but that could have just been the age difference. They got along so well when they were little. I wonder when the last time they saw each other was. I'm sure they'd still get along," Marie continued. "I know Gabriela called off her engagement. Jeffrey will need time before he's ready to move on. I know that. Maybe Gabriela does too. Maybe that could actually happen though now that they're both single. I don't think they've both been single at the same time since they were kids. I'm sure I would have tried to set them up before now if they had been."

"Don't take this the wrong way Marie, but I'm more convinced now that if Gabriela marries anyone it will be Matt than I was when they were actually engaged," Ramon replied.

"Oh, come on," Marie wasn't buying it. "The engagement didn't last. There has to be a reason for that. I suppose there's a chance they could work something out but breaking off an engagement doesn't bode well. Even if they do somehow get back together and get married, I bet you their problems will pop up again, and they'll just wind up getting divorced somewhere down the line."

"You don't know them the way we do," Ramon countered.

"Camila, tell your husband he's got his head in the sand," Marie protested. When Camila didn't reply, she spoke again. "Wouldn't you rather Gabriela move on instead of going back to some failed relationship? Don't you agree that it would be great if the kids got together?"

"I….I….I can't," Camila stuttered before running out of the room.

"What just happened?" Marie was completely confused and concerned. She had no idea what she'd done to make Camila run out like that.

Ramon sighed, understanding that Camila's reaction was a result of what had happened to Gabriela. That with their daughter in what must be considered a long-term coma at this point, the talk of their daughter's future, a future she may not even get to have, was too much. That it was hard to be pressured to agree that a certain future was preferable when as far as he and Camila were concerned Gabriela having a future, any future regardless of the details, was all that mattered.

"So there's something you should probably know. Its why we came back so much earlier than normal and why we didn't reach out to anyone," Ramon paused to try to gather himself. "Back near the beginning of February, Gabriela was in a serious car accident. She almost died, and she still hasn't woken up."

The three of them stood in silence for a few moments while the Carson's absorbed the news. Ramon was beginning to think he should just go after Camila when Neal spoke.

"Oh my god," the man said. "I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. I'd ask how you're coping, but I'm sure it's not well."

"It hasn't been easy. These past few months have been, I don't think there's a word that could adequately describe how awful they've been, but we're doing our best. We were on the first flight back as soon as Antonio called us, and we've been going from the hospital to home and back ever since. This is the first time we've tried doing something for ourselves since before the accident. Antonio took time off from work, and while he went back I'm not even sure how long ago, it's just been one big blur, he's still spending most of his time at the hospital. And Matt, he hasn't left Gabriela's side. The poor man's been living in her hospital room this whole time. It's not a consolation, nothing could be, but it is heartwarming how much he loves my little girl. That's why I believe that if she does get through this, they will get married."

"I had no idea," Marie commented before leaving the room.

Realizing what she was doing, Ramon wanted to stop her and go instead. He wasn't sure how Camila would react to the other woman at this point, but Neal started asking for more details about what happened and Gabriela's prognosis. Understanding that the man was just being a concerned friend, Ramon found himself unable to dodge the questions. Still, it was depressing to realize that Neal and Marie had heard about the accident on the news when it first happened but hadn't followed the story long enough to still be paying attention by the time Gabriela's name was released. He couldn't help but wonder how many other people had at least temporarily been intrigued by their tragedy.

While the men continued to talk, Marie roamed the house in search of Camila. When she found Camila though, it wasn't inside the house. Instead the other woman was sitting on the front steps, her back towards the door and her coat still inside. It may be getting warmer out, but with the sun down it was still relatively chilly so the first thing Marie did was head back inside to grab Camila's coat from the closet. When she returned outside, she put Camila's coat over her shoulders before sitting down next to the other woman. Turning towards her, she noticed the tears that stained Camila's face and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize –," Marie started.

"It's okay," Camila cut her off.

"You must think I'm awful, talking about the kids possibly getting together at some point and going on and on about Tracy leaving Jeffrey like it's the worst thing that's ever happened when it's nothing compared to what you and Ramon are dealing with," Marie kept apologizing.

"You didn't know. How could you when we didn't say anything? I didn't want to say anything. I think I was hoping that we could get through tonight without it coming up. Not that I wanted to forget or anything. I don't think I could forget even if I wanted to, but the thought of having to tell someone about it and have to explain everything, it's just so hard," Camila said.

"You're being a lot more gracious about this than I would be," Marie commented.

"I don't have it in me to be angry at you. I'm too worried and scared and devastated to feel anything else," Camila admitted. "There's no guarantee my baby is ever going to wake up and to hear talk about possibilities for the future and who she might marry when she might not get to have a future let alone a husband, it's just too much."

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry," Marie replied. She felt like there was something she could or should be doing or saying right now, but how do you comfort someone whose life may never be the same?

"Can we just talk about something completely mindless over dinner? Nothing to do with our lives or the kids or someday," Camila requested. "I know I won't forget, but a distraction might still be nice."

"Of course, we can," Marie replied.

"Then I think I'm ready to go back inside," Camila said before getting up and heading back to join Ramon and Neal in the kitchen. "You should probably check on that pot roast anyways."


	32. Chapter 32

Author's Note: Thanks you to all my reviewers and those who have favorited and followed this story. I'm sorry for once again taking months to update.

I hope you guys enjoy this one, and as always, when you get to the end, please let me know what you think.

* * *

Chapter Thirty Two

Severide sighed as he flipped through the mail while eating cold, leftover pizza for lunch. He had to admit he missed living with Dawson, and it wasn't just because her cooking had been far better than the mostly take-out and frozen dinners he'd been sustaining himself on recently or the quick, simple meals he and Casey had made since she moved out. Sure, she was a much better cook than he or Casey could ever hope to be, but that wasn't it.

He had to admit that he was surprised that he missed living with her. For years, they were family, but they weren't truly close, their friendship had mostly been based on the fact that they worked together and shared best friends, but they hadn't spent a lot of time hanging out just the two of them. Sure, they'd gotten closer over the past couple of years, but when he'd moved in here, he'd viewed it more as crashing with Casey than moving in with Casey and Dawson. While Dawson had been welcoming on the outside, he was sure that on the inside, she wasn't thrilled to have him here. She had only moved in with her boyfriend a couple months earlier, and who would want an additional roommate suddenly thrust upon them under that circumstance. What's more, he was pretty sure his presence had just been a constant reminder that Shay was gone. Had their situations been reversed, he wasn't so sure he would have been able to welcome her with open arms the way she'd welcomed him, but that gesture had allowed him a chance to see who she really was.

He missed her presence in the apartment, the ability to hang out with her and Casey, and the chance to get to know her as more than a PIC or Shay's best friend or the woman Casey loved. He missed the deeper friendship that had developed between the two of them. While in some respects they'd stayed close after she'd moved out, that had largely been due to their shared desire to get justice for Shay. Otherwise, there had definitely been a shift in the friendship since Dawson and Casey broke up. He'd had a front row seat both at home and at work to the events that led to their break up, and he knew both of them were at fault, having contributed to the problems between them. He probably contributed too, having helped distract Casey from his personal problems. But Shay and Andy were both gone. Casey was the only best friend he had left so of course he'd sided with the man after the breakup. Had he had any idea that this is where they'd end up months later, he wouldn't have allowed what happened between Casey and Dawson come between his friendship with Dawson. Of course, that was a moot point because if Casey had had any idea that this is where'd they'd be, he never would have let Dawson walk out the door.

Looking around, he found it ironic that the apartment that Casey and Dawson had chosen to start their life together in had somehow become his, and only his, apartment because that's what it felt like these days. He'd essentially been living here on his own for the past three months. Sure, Casey's stuff could still be found throughout the apartment. Most of his clothes were still in the master bedroom, and the bills Severide had just found in the mail were still addressed to him. There were even still signs of Dawson in the apartment. A few things she'd left behind that Casey hadn't been able to bring himself to return, and the first time he'd packed Casey's things to bring to the hospital, he found that Casey still kept a picture of her on his nightstand. They were still getting her junk mail too as evidenced by the couple of credit card offers addressed to Gabriela Dawson in the trash pile. All that and yet he was the only one living here.

When he first moved in, it was never supposed to become his apartment. He'd figured he would only be here temporarily, just until he could get his head on straight and get back on his feet. He'd handled Shay's death by spiraling, and he hadn't even been able to see bottom. Casey had seen what he couldn't and offered the hand that helped pull him back up. Now it seemed the shoe was on the other foot. He was the one with perspective while Casey was the one falling apart. Between the not eating and the not coming home and the look that permanently taken up residence on his face, it was obvious the man was a wreck. You didn't even need to know him to see it. So it was time for him to return the favor, to offer a hand and try to pull his best friend up in his time of need. Casey wouldn't want it. Just like he hadn't really wanted the helping hand when Casey initially offered it. The man needed it though. Just like he had all those months ago.

* * *

"We'll be back soon," Camila squeezed Gabby's shoulder as she got up from her chair at Gabby's bedside.

As predicted on the day they went to the Carson's the previous week, the dinner opened the door for word of the accident and Gabby's condition to get around her parents' social circle, and as a result, many of Ramon and Camila's friends were stopping by the hospital to visit. Marie and Neal had stopped by the day after the dinner, and now another set of family friends, Nellie and Paul Bass, were visiting. Nellie was insisting that they go for a walk, claiming that the fresh air and time to relax would do everyone some good.

Matt was having none of it though. He didn't know these people, had never even seen them before this afternoon. What reason did he have to go for a walk with them, to let them take him away from Gabby? The Bass's didn't seem to care whether he went with them or not, and while over the past few months, Camila had often expressed concern that he wasn't taking proper care of himself, this didn't seem to be something she thought was worth pressing him on so he found it easy to stay behind. In a weird way, he even appreciated it because with Antonio at work, their walk gave him some extra alone time with Gabby.

"Hey, it's just you and me now," he said once everyone else had left the room. He then leaned down to place a kiss on Gabby's cheek. "Your parents' friends seem nice I guess. Sounds like they used to live across the street from you back when you were in elementary school at least. They sure like to talk though. I don't think I would have been able to get a word in even if I wanted to. Although I did appreciate getting to hear a few more stories about your childhood. It's nice to be able to picture a smiling, laughing little Gabby even if I'd much rather be face to face with a smiling, laughing adult Gabby. Preferably one whose curled up in my arms, smiling and laughing because she's with me. That's all I would need to be smiling and laughing myself. You awake. Us together. Being able to tell you I love you and hear you say it back. Being able to kiss you and feel your lips moving with mine. Being able to feel our hearts beating as one. More than anything though, I just want to see you awake. The knowledge that something, anything, is making you smile and laugh would mean the world to me. You mean the world to me."

He leaned down to kiss her again before letting his head rest against hers on the hospital pillow for a minute and then whispering an I love you in her ear. After a few more minutes, he forced himself to sit back up, knowing that if he didn't, he'd stay like that forever. While Camila and Ramon finding him like that when they came back from their walk was one thing, he didn't particularly want strangers witnessing the intimacy of the gesture. It was private. What's more it could give them the wrong impression, and something told him that when the Dawson's returned, the Bass's would still be with them.

"How about I read to you?" Matt suggested once he was repositioned in his seat. After the first week, when it became clear that they didn't know how long the coma would last, Brett had brought some of Gabby's books from what Brett had described as home, although her use of the word home had left a bitter taste in Matt's mouth. Gabby may have been crashing there for a couple months at that point, but he still saw Gabby's home as with him. Brett had brought the book that Gabby was in the middle of along with several others she didn't think Gabby had read yet. Matt instantly recognized two of them as something Gabby had read before their breakup, taking a strange sense of pride in the fact that he knew that and Brett didn't. While he'd long since finished reading everything Brett had initially brought, new books from various friends and family members kept making their way into the hospital room so he just kept reading to her.

Matt had read five pages to Gabby when he heard the door open. The sound surprised him. If Camila and Ramon were returning, then it would have been a very short walk so he looked up just in time to see Severide walk in.

"How was shift?" he asked. If he'd done the math from when Severide, Hermann, and Chief Boden had stopped by the other day correctly, second watch would have been on shift yesterday through this morning.

"For the most part nice and boring," Severide answered. "Just a car accident and an elevator call. Although the elevator call involved a woman who was so badly claustrophobic they had to take her to the hospital once we got her out in order to deal with her panic attack. Ambo had a couple more calls though before getting taken out of service."

"Taken out of service?" Matt questioned knowing that it was unusual.

"Yeah. Stomach bug's going around. Mouch, Capp, and Mills all wound up going home sick. They weren't able to get another PIC over to fill in for Mills so they had to take 61 out of service about halfway through shift," Severide explained.

"Ahhh," Matt said as his eyes drifted from Severide back towards Gabby. It was a natural reaction. He knew that if things were different, 61 wouldn't have been taken out of service. She would have slid from Truck to Ambo, taking over the PIC duties.

"Anything happen here?" Severide asked. He wasn't expecting anything. Casey would have led with that if something had, but he figured it would help ease into the conversation that he knew it was finally time to have.

"Unfortunately, no," Matt replied. "Some more of Gabby's parents' friends stopped by. The four of them went for a walk outside. I've been reading to her pretty much since they left."

"I heard, but you know a walk outside isn't a bad idea," Severide seized the opening Matt's answer had left him with. "You've been in here, breathing nothing but stuffy, sterile hospital air for so long. I'm sure your body would appreciate some nice, fresh air."

"The air in here is fine," Matt shot him down. "If it's good enough for Gabby, then it's good enough for me. Besides, if fresh air was that important, I'm sure they'd be making sure Gabby was getting some. It would be something that could help her."

"It would be rather complicated to get patients outside for fresh air between the hospital beds and machines and everything," Severide pointed out.

"If it was a big deal, then wouldn't they have built this place with windows that opened? Then they could just open one up and let fresh air into the room," Matt argued.

"And then they risk allergens and other stuff that could bother some patients getting in," Severide said.

"So what you're saying is hospital air is really better?" Matt countered.

Severide just shook his head. That wasn't what he meant, but it was clear that Casey was going to find some way to twist any argument he made to suit his desire to stay at Dawson's side so they sat in silence while Severide tried to figure out another tact. If it was the only way, he'd just come out and say what he needed to, but he'd rather be less blunt.

"Oh, before I forget, can you bring toothpaste with you next time? I ran out a few days ago," Matt requested after a few minutes.

"You could get toothpaste yourself," Severide suggested.

"I stopped by the gift shop earlier, and they didn't have any so I need you to bring me some. There should be a couple of unopened tubes in Gabby's and my bathroom at home," Matt responded.

"Case, that's not what I meant," Severide pointed out. He was starting to feel a little tentative. This conversation was going worse than even he had expected. Given Casey's response to everything he'd said, he was beginning to think that Casey couldn't process what he was actually saying. That view was born out by what the man said next.

"Did you forget my clothes?" Matt changed the subject. They'd gotten in a routine since Severide first brought him some stuff from home. Severide would bring a duffle bag with about a week's worth of clothes in it, and when Matt was close to running out of clean clothes, Severide would take the bag and dirty clothes home, only to return with clean clothes on his next visit. Sometimes it was different clothes and other times it was the same ones so Matt figured that Severide was doing his laundry. He really appreciated all the ways his friend was helping. Only he'd sent Severide home with laundry two days ago, and he hadn't seen any sign of the duffle bag since Severide got here.

"I didn't forget it. I don't have it, but I didn't forget it. I don't think I should keep doing your laundry. I think you need to start doing it yourself," Severide replied.

"And how do you suggest I do that? It's not like there's somewhere in the hospital where patients' family and friends can do laundry, and the sink in there's too small to even try washing anything by hand," Matt motioned towards the bathroom behind him.

Severide sighed before responding.

"Casey, I'm not suggesting you buy toothpaste from the gift shop or do your laundry somewhere in the hospital," he said, only to find that Matt just stared at him blankly, clearly not comprehending what he was getting at. "You may not want to hear it, but I'm suggesting that you leave the hospital. You can brush your teeth and do your laundry at home."

"I can't leave her. Not like this," Matt couldn't believe what he was hearing. He thought Severide had understood. Up until right now, the man had been a supportive friend from the moment he'd called him that awful morning. Now though, the very suggestion, was one of the most offensive things his best friend could have said.

"What about yourself? You haven't left this damn hospital in months. You've barely left this room. That's not healthy, and you're going to drive yourself crazy if you don't get out of here for at least a little while," Severide argued. "You need to spend time somewhere that isn't Lakeshore Hospital. You need to really take care of yourself. You need to go home. You need to get a good night's sleep in your own bed. You need to eat real food that isn't hospital food. You need to start being a responsible adult. I've been doing everything for you, your laundry, paying your bills, for months. That has to stop. Not for my sake but for yours."

"If it's about the money, I'll pay you back," Matt picked up on the reference to his bills.

"It's not about the money," Severide replied. "Although since you mentioned it, you should have said you'll pay me back if you don't go broke from all the unpaid leave you've been taking. That's my point. What your refusal to leave is doing you. Now and for the long-term."

"I can't leave her," Matt said again. "If she wakes up, and I'm not here…Look, I wasn't there when she needed me before. That can't happen again. I won't let it."

"That doesn't mean you have to be living in here. You can go home and still be there for Dawson just like everyone else," Severide argued.

"Maybe it's too much to expect you to get it. When you were engaged, it ended because your fiancée cheated on you not because you failed her. And how can you relate to what Gabby and I have anyways. You've never had anything even close with anyone. You've probably never even been truly in love," Matt snapped.

"That's not fair," Severide was getting mad now.

"If you had, you'd understand how much Gabby means to me. You wouldn't be trying to force me away from her," Matt countered.

"Do you really think she'd want this for you?" Severide asked.

"She'd understand," Matt said simply.

"It's been three damn months Casey. Three months where Dawson's been in a coma. Three months where you haven't left this damn hospital. What are you going to do if she never wakes up? Spend the rest of your life in here?" it was Severide's turn to snap.

"How dare you?" Matt was furious. Gabby was going to wake up. Severide had no right to suggest otherwise.

"Come on Casey. It's been three months. There's never been a guarantee she's going to wake up, and the more time that goes on, the less likely it is. You don't need to be a doctor to know that. Everyone's been walking on eggshells around you, not wanting to upset you, but you need to hear it. You need to not dismiss it but to truly hear it," Severide explained.

"If you've given up on Gabby. If you don't think she's going to wake up –" Matt started.

"That's not what I said," Severide interjected. "I hope Dawson does wake up, but I understand that she may not. You need to understand that too. You need to face reality Matt."

"Get out," Matt growled.

"Casey," Severide protested.

"Get out," Matt barked again. He was having none of it. "Gabby doesn't need your negativity so get the hell out of here."

Severide just shook his head as he started to make his way out of the room. He wasn't ready to give on convincing Casey that he couldn't keep doing this to himself, but he clearly wasn't going to get anywhere today and staying would probably just make things worse. As he opened the door, he turned around one last time only to find that Casey's attention was once again solely on Dawson. The man was sitting not in his chair but on the edge of her bed, stroking her cheek. Sighing, he walked through the doorway, closing the door behind him, giving Casey some privacy.

"Hey, don't listen to him," Matt said as soon as he knew Severide was gone. "He's wrong Gabby. I don't know why Severide doesn't have faith in you, but he's wrong. I know he's wrong. You're going to wake up. You're going to be fine. There is no doubt in my mind, and he doesn't know you the way I do. So don't listen to him. Don't give up. Keep fighting. And know that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you. Always."

* * *

The elevator dinged, signaling it had arrived at Gabby's floor. As the doors opened, Antonio was surprised to see Severide standing on the other side, looking either upset or annoyed or maybe both. Antonio wasn't quite sure.

"Hey man," Antonio greeted the squad lieutenant. "You coming from seeing Gabby?"

"Yeah," Severide replied.

"Everything okay?" Antonio asked. He figured if something had truly gone wrong with Gabby, Severide would have led with that and he probably would have gotten a phone call so he wasn't too alarmed. But something definitely seemed off.

"Someone needs to talk some sense into Casey, give him a dose of reality and make him accept it," Severide said. "I tried."

Antonio could only nod in response. Taking that as an understanding, Severide passed him and got into the elevator to head home. As the doors closed, Antonio continued on the path towards his sister's room.

"Hey," he addressed Matt as he entered the room and took a seat. "I ran into Severide in the hall. What exactly happened?"

"Severide's no longer welcome here," came Matt's bitter reply.

"Huh?" Antonio was confused. Whatever had gone down between the two men, that was not the response he was expecting.

"He's given up on Gabby so there is no place for him or that attitude near her," Matt replied. "And he wants me to give up on her too. Not that that'll ever happen. So as I said, Severide is no longer welcome here."

* * *

" _What?" Gabby asked Shay as the other woman was giving her a half-hearted evil eye._

" _Stop eyeing my food," Shay said before taking another bite of her burger, causing a couple of drops of ketchup to fall onto her plate._

" _I'm not," Gabby defended herself. Although she had to admit the bacon cheeseburger and fries looked far more appealing than the salad she'd ordered._

" _You're practically drooling over it," Shay argued. "If you really wanted a burger, you should have gotten one. Don't stare at mine."_

" _That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who has to fit in a wedding dress in six months," Gabby disagreed._

" _A wedding dress you haven't even bought yet. I don't think what you eat for lunch is going to make you gain so much weight in the next hour that it interferes with your ability to try dresses on. Really I don't think you have to worry about gaining weight anyways, not when you're lugging around all that firefighter gear on a regular basis," Shay started._

" _Cause there's no such thing as a fat firefighter," Gabby couldn't help but laugh._

" _And if you did, there's such a thing as a tailor. Besides, you're going to be a beautiful bride no matter what you wear down the aisle. You could get married in turnout gear, and Casey still wouldn't be able to take his eyes off of you," Shay continued on as if she hadn't been interrupted. "The Gabby Dawson I know isn't going to be happy living off of salad for the next six months."_

" _Just wait until it's your turn," Gabby replied. "It'll get into your head too."_

" _What makes you think it'll be my turn?" Shay asked._

" _I thought things were going great with Trina," Gabby suddenly grew concerned about her best friend, Shay's words making it sound like there may be trouble there._

" _They are," Shay smiled. "Trina's great. We're happy and in a good place. I definitely love her, but it's a long way from where we are to getting married. It's only been about seven months. I know Casey was buying you a ring after less than six, but most people aren't like that. We haven't even talked about moving in together yet."_

" _You want to though," Gabby observed._

" _Yeah," Shay paused for a minute. "Or at least I think so."_

" _Something's holding you back?" Gabby questioned._

" _I guess. I mean you know how well things went last time I tried to move in with my girlfriend," Shay reminded her._

" _I don't think you have to worry about that. Trina doesn't have a husband and a baby. She doesn't have a history of messing with your head the way Clarice did. If you want to take things slow to make sure it lasts, take things slow. As you said, it's been seven months so there's no need to rush things, but don't put the breaks on just because you're afraid," Gabby offered._

" _Thanks Dawson," Shay said before noticing the lock. "Oh crap. We need the check if we're going to make it to our appointment on time."_

* * *

" _Hi. I have a 1:30 appointment," Gabby called as she and Shay rushed into the bridal store a couple minutes late._

" _Name?" asked the woman standing behind the counter._

" _Gabriela Dawson," she answered. "I'm the bride, and this is my maid of honor Leslie Shay. My mother's supposed to be meeting us here as well. I don't think she's here yet though. I don't see her, and I know she was running late."_

 _Camila had insisted on being here when Gabby went shopping for her wedding dress. For that reason, Gabby really hoped she found the dress today. Otherwise, she was pretty sure her mother would keep flying up here, and the thought made her feel bad. For today, Camila's plans were to fly up this morning and stay for the weekend, but her flight had been delayed. As a result, she was going to come straight from the airport._

" _Looks like you're with me this afternoon. I'm Sherri," the woman said after looking down at what appeared to be an appointment book._

" _Nice to meet you," Gabby and Shay both said._

" _As for your mother running late, we typically start by going over some details, not trying on dresses, so why don't we get started? If when we're ready to actually look at dresses your mom still isn't here, we can consider waiting a little bit," Sherri suggested._

" _That sounds good," Gabby replied._

" _Great," Sherri said before guiding Gabby and Shay to a seating area near the front of the store. "So to start off I have some questions for you, things that should help me get a feel for the wedding and your style and you so that I can better help you find the perfect dress for your special day."_

 _Gabby looked down at the jeans and purple t-shirt she was wearing. Shay wasn't dressed all that differently, and she certainly hadn't thought much of it that morning. She hadn't thought it would matter what she wore when she went dress shopping. Dressed down in something comfy had seemed perfectly reasonable at the time, but something about the way Sherri said style left her feeling judged._

" _So first off, when is the wedding?" Sherri asked._

" _May 22_ _nd_ _," Gabby answered._

" _And where is it?" Sherri followed up._

" _Firehouse Chicago. My fiancée and I are both firefighters, and we met on the job. It just feels symbolic of us and like the perfect place. We kind of fell in love with the idea before we'd even seen it, and then when we got down there, it was better than we had imagined," Gabby wasn't sure why she was spilling all this out to a perfect stranger. Maybe she just couldn't contain her excitement at the thought of her and Matt getting married._

" _I've never been to a wedding there, but I've worked with other brides who've gotten married there. It's supposed to be quite nice," Sherri said._

" _Oh, it is," Shay finally spoke. She'd insisted on checking the place out before Gabby and Matt booked it, arguing that she needed to make sure it was worthy of hosting her best friend's wedding. She actually had tried to get Gabby and Matt to make a short-list of venues and take her to them, claiming that it was part of her maid of honor duties, but the couple had decided that Firehouse Chicago was the place for them as soon as they'd seen it._

" _From what I understand, they do both indoor and outdoor weddings. Which one will you be having?" Sherri continued._

" _The ceremony itself is supposed to be outdoors. There's this really pretty spot they do weddings in that I just couldn't resist, and that gives them time to get the apparatus floor setup for the reception," Gabby explained._

" _Apparatus floor?" Sherri questioned._

 _Gabby just laughed in response. She hadn't even noticed that she was using firehouse language; it just automatically came out. Hopefully, that wouldn't be a problem for their families and non-CFD friends at the actual wedding._

" _The reception will be inside," Shay supplied. "The apparatus floor is actually part of a firehouse. It's where we keep all the rigs."_

" _Okay," Sherri said. "So you probably want a dress that will work for both inside and outside."_

" _I guess," Gabby said. She hadn't really thought about inside vs. outside. She'd always just figured she'd know the dress when she saw it, and that any dress would work. Then again, what did she know about buying a wedding dress? "More than anything though, I want something that feels like me, something that's not too glamorous or over the top, but at the same time is elegant and says I kick ass if that makes sense. Oh, and something that's going to make Matt feel really lucky."_

" _So then how would describe your style?" Sherri eyeballed Gabby's casual outfit once again giving Gabby the impression that the woman didn't approve._

" _It depends. If I'm just hanging around the house or running errands or going shopping, I like to be more comfortable and don't pay a lot of attention to what I look like. My fiancée obviously doesn't mind," Gabby explained in a way that she felt defended herself and what she was wearing. "But if I'm going out for the night or working at my bar, I'll dress nicer and more stylish. I'm not buying designer clothing or anything, but I have some pretty decent stuff."_

" _Oh Gabriela," Gabby looked up at the sound of her mother's voice to find the woman rushing through the bridal shop's door._

" _Over here," she called back, motioning for her mother._

" _I'm sorry I'm so late. We'd boarded the plane when they'd found some sort of mechanical issue, and then they made us get off the plane and sit around the terminal for over an hour while they got us another plane. Then it took close to another hour on the plane before we actually left," Camila apologized._

" _I'm sure they just needed time to get all the luggage and service items and everything from one plane to the other," Shay butted in._

" _It's fine. Not your fault. Just don't cut the flight so close for the actual wedding," Gabby joked._

" _Your father and I will be home a few weeks before the wedding. We've already booked the flights," Camila didn't seem to realize her daughter was only teasing._

" _Hello Mrs. Dawson. I'm Sherri, your daughter's bridal consultant. Can we get back to business?" Sherri pressed._

 _With that Sherri went back to asking Gabby questions and then asked a few of Shay. They spent the next several hours trying on dresses without much luck. Almost everything was either too fancy or too simple or too uncomfortable or wasn't going to fit her right even after tailoring. She almost tripped over several of them, and the few she had liked, either her mother or Shay had nixed. Gabby was about so suggest they give up and try somewhere else next week when Sherri pulled another dress for her to try on. Gabby had to admit that at least on the hanger, this one was the most beautiful one yet, and she couldn't help wanting to try it on._

 _Taking it, she went back into the dressing room and put it on. Looking at herself in the mirror, she decided that this was the only dress she'd seen today that looked better on her than on the hanger. Between the lace design and the way the silhouette fell against her bod, she was pretty sure this was the one. Now, she just had to hope her mom and Shay agreed. Nervously, she headed out of the small dressing room._

" _Oh my God," Shay squealed. "That's perfect."_

" _You look beautiful Gabriela," Camila said with emotion in her voice._

" _Mom don't cry. I'm just trying on a 'dress," Gabby noticed her mother's eyes had started to water._

" _But that's the dress, isn't it?" Camila deduced._

" _Yeah. It is," Gabby smiled._

" _And seeing you in it. Well, it just brings home the fact that my baby is getting married," Camila said._

" _If that's the one you want, let's put in the order," Sherri interrupted the moment, making Gabby decide the woman was obnoxious. First, there was the condensation about her fashion sense, and now being all business during an emotional moment. You'd think a woman whose job was to assist brides would be better equipped to deal with the emotional side of it._

 _Still, Gabby did what Sherri wanted, and ten minutes later, she had bought her wedding dress. That was enough to make her extremely happy. One major milestone on the way to her happily ever after had just been accomplished._

" _Are you sure you don't want to join us for dinner? You are welcome to," Shay asked Camila after they'd finished up. She and Severide were having Dawson and Casey over for dinner tonight. The plan had always been to head over there as soon as they finished up dress shopping, and Shay figured that given how rarely Dawson's mother was in town, it would be nice for her to come too so that she and Dawson could spend more time together._

" _No. You kids have fun. I need to get settled at the house for the weekend," Camila told Shay before turning her attention to Gabby. "You and Matt are coming over for breakfast, right?"_

" _Of course. We'll see you in the morning," Gabby replied. "And thank you for coming home for this."_

" _I wouldn't have missed it for anything," Camila said. "I love you Gabriela, and I'm glad you're so happy."_

" _I love you too Mom," Gabby responded._

* * *

" _We're here," Shay called as she opened the door to her and Severide's apartment._

" _Living room," Severide called back as Shay and Gabby entered the apartment. They made their way into the living room, where they found not just Severide but also Matt sitting on the couch with beers in hand and SportsCenter on the TV._

" _Someone looks comfy," Gabby observed as she took a seat next to Matt and snuggled into his side, his arm automatically wrapped around her shoulder once she was settled._

" _More comfy now," Matt replied._

" _Oh, get a room you two," Shay threw a pillow at them, prompting Gabby to stick her tongue out at her best friend._

" _Do you want me to start the steaks?" Severide asked._

" _Not hungry yet," Shay answered._

" _Me neither," Gabby agreed. "Give us a little more time."_

" _Alright," Severide said before seemingly turning his attention back to the TV._

" _Did you have fun today?" Matt asked._

" _Lunch was fun, and it was great seeing my mom. The dress shopping itself though. I was beginning to think I was never going to find a dress," Gabby started._

" _You should have seen it when she did though," Shay interrupted. "Okay, you can't see it until she's walking down the aisle, but Casey, it was stunning. Dawson's going to be an absolutely beautiful bride."_

" _I always knew that she would be. I mean how could she not be," Matt pulled Gabby a little closer as he spoke._

* * *

 _Gabby walked into the locker room at Firehouse 13 only to find Hodges leaning against her locker, a glimmer in his eye._

" _So how was dress shopping?" he asked before she could even put her bag down on the bench. At least he got out of the way so she could open her locker._

" _Honestly, long and the woman helping me was a condescending bitch. Are you sure your sister recommended that place and didn't warn against it?" Gabby replied as she entered her locker combination in the lock._

" _Yeah. She went to three places before finding 'the dress' as she put it," he made air quotes around the dress. "Said Debra was one of the most helpful people she'd ever met."_

" _Well, I had Sherri the snob," Gabby retorted. "I'd say next time tell me who to see and not just where to go, but there's not going to be a next time."_

" _Does that mean you found a dress?" Hodges got excited._

" _I did," Gabby smiled. "It took hours, but the last one I tried on was everything I didn't know I was looking for. I mean I'd always thought I'd had this image of what I wanted for my wedding dress in my head, but when we got there, and I started actually trying dresses on, it turned out I had no idea. If you'd described the dress to me, I would have said no way, but once I was in it, it was perfect. Shay and my mom absolutely loved it too."_

" _Do you have pictures?" Hodges asked._

" _And risk Matt accidentally seeing them? No way. You can see the dress at my wedding. Just like the rest of my friends," Gabby answered._

" _You never struck me as the superstitious type before Dawson," Hodges commented._

" _Guess whose back," a woman's voice suddenly flowed through the locker room. Looking up, Gabby saw a redhead in a paramedic jacket walking towards them. This must be Lauren Moore, the paramedic who'd been on maternity leave since before Gabby got here. While Gabby didn't know for certain that she was returning today, it made sense. They'd said goodbye to Evans, the floater who'd been covering for her, last shift._

" _Good to see you Moore," Hodges greeted the woman, confirming Gabby's theory before Moore slid past Gabby and to the locker with her name on it that was three away from Gabby's._

" _So baby pictures?" Hodges requested._

" _What's with you and pictures today? First my wedding dress and now her baby," Gabby teased._

" _You know Sam and I broke up. I have no choice but to live vicariously through my friends," Hodges explained._

" _Vicariously. Someone's been studying the dictionary," Moore got in on the teasing._

" _I'm Gabby Dawson, by the way. I joined Truck 6 while you were out," Gabby took advantage of the fact that she and Moore seemed to be in the same conversation and introduced herself._

" _I remember," Moore replied, confusing Gabby. According to her memory Moore and Barnes hadn't bene present when the rest of 13 had first laid eyes on her, when she'd emerged after getting trapped in a collapsing building, after being saved by Matt and then showing the CFD just how much she loved him. Was this another example of her memories not being quite right?_

" _We knew you were coming here before I went on leave," Moore clarified._

" _Oh," Gabby was relieved there wasn't more to it._

" _Glad you're here. Don't get me wrong. The guys are great, but –" Moore started before Gabby cut in._

" _It's nice to have another girl around," she finished._

" _Exactly," Moore smiled. "I started about a month before Nia got sick so it's pretty much always been just me."_

" _Hey, I've been there," Gabby said. "Not just these past couple of months, but when I started out. By the time I left 51, there were three of us, and for most of my time there, there were two of us. My first three and a half years with the CFD though, I was the lone women."_

" _I used to try to tell myself that Hodges was pretty close to a woman, but now I don't have to," Moore laughed._

" _Hey," Hodges swatted Moore. "I'm right here."_

" _Oh, you know it's true," Moore shot back._

" _I'm going to roll call. You two are welcome to join me if you can be nice," Hodges acted like he was pouting before storming off. Gabby was pretty sure he was pretending to do both though._

 _After Moore closed her locker, the two women followed him out of the locker room. While their interaction had been brief, Gabby was pretty sure she liked Moore and that they'd hit it off. Neither Hodges nor Moore could ever be Shay, no one could be, but Gabby was pretty sure that in long-run she'd have a good group of friends here. That was all she really could have asked for when she transferred. Well, that and for Owens to not be such a jerk, but she'd take what she could get._

* * *

 _After spending the morning looking at baby pictures with Moore and Hodges, and getting to know the other woman, Gabby now stood in the firehouse kitchen shortly before lunch time. While she was no longer a candidate, she still often cooked, typically at least every other shift. That was one of the ways 13 was different from 51. More often than not, 51 had a candidate, but when they didn't, everyone took turns cooking. At 13 though, only a handful of people shared the cooking duties. Traditionally it was the most junior person and the four other people who liked to cook. She happened to fit into both categories at the moment, at least in terms of firefighting experience. She was pretty sure she'd been with the CFD longer than Moore and at least a few of the guys. Still, the rest of the house only seemed to count her firefighting experience. She would have joined the cooking rotation anyways so in this instance at least she didn't mind._

 _Today it was her turn to make lunch, and she had just started organizing her ingredients when the alarm went off._

" _Truck 6. Structural Fire."_

 _Gabby quickly put the spices she was holding down on the counter and raced towards the Truck. She found it interesting that Truck 6 had been called out but neither Engine 13 nor Battalion 1 had been. They must be backup for other companies and another chief that were already on scene and had called for an additional alarm._

 _For some reason the ride to the scene felt slow, and as they got closer, Gabby realized that she could see the flames before she could see the large, ten-story apartment building that was on fire. Realizing the size of the building, Gabby understood that they had been called in because additional companies were required to help with the search. That didn't stop a smile forming on her face when she laid eyes on the first rig, Squad 3. 51 was here, and there was something comforting about that. Maybe it was the fact that she knew how they worked or the fact that she completely trusted Boden to run a scene; he was undoubtedly the incident commander, a belief that was confirmed when she got out of the Truck. Or maybe it was the fact that despite the circumstances, it meant she'd get to spend at least a few brief moments with her friends and family. Considering that this was the first time since she left 51 that she'd been on a call with them, she couldn't really be certain._

 _She didn't have too much time to think it over though because once Captain Woods was out of the Truck, Boden explained the situation to him. From where she stood, Gabby could hear the exchange. Severide and Capp had taken the ninth and tenth floors while Mills and Tony had the seventh and eighth floors. As for Truck 81, Otis was on the areal while Mouch and Ross vented the roof. Casey, Hermann, and Cruz were searching the basement through the second floor. Truck 6 was needed in order to search the third through sixth floors. Boden was going to leave it to Woods to determine their assignments since he knew his team best._

 _Turning towards his men, Woods announced that he, Hodges, and Gabby would start on the sixth floor and work their way down. Owens and Quinn would start on the third floor and work their way up until both groups met in the middle. With that Truck 6 geared up and headed into the building, ready to do their job._

 _Gabby was in the process of bringing an elderly woman who lived on the fifth floor down when her radio crackled and a message came through._

" _Hey Chief, we got a problem down here," Hermann's voice said. He sounded concerned. "Casey and I were on our way up from the basement when part of the staircase gave way. I made it up, but Casey was a few stairs behind me and fell through."_

 _Gabby's heart had her wanting to run down there, find Hermann, and make sure Matt was okay. Looking at the woman beside her though, she knew she couldn't. She had an obligation to get this woman to safety before anything else. With multiple staircases in the building, hopefully Matt would be able to get to another one and thus to safety. If that were the case though, would Hermann really be raising an alarm? Probably not, but she didn't have time to think that way. She needed to be positive and focused. People's lives depended on it. All she could do right now was hope that the staircase she was on was the same one Hermann and Matt had been using so that when she reached the first floor she'd be able to check on Matt._

" _I think he's okay, but he's trapped in the staircase," Hermann continued._

" _Is he conscious?" Boden asked._

" _Yeah," Hermann replied after a few moments of silence. "Radio seems to be broken though."_

" _And he can move?" Boden followed up, clearly trying to assess the situation so that he could determine the right course of action._

" _Yeah. He's standing up," Hermann's words caused Gabby to let out a sigh of relief. "Grabbing his back though…Sorry Lieutenant. It's the truth."_

 _Despite herself, Gabby could help letting out a little laugh at that last part. Something was probably wrong if he was grabbing his back, but the fact that he was apparently giving Hermann a hard time for mentioning it was a good sign. It didn't seem like he was seriously hurt. As long as they could get him out of there, she didn't have any reason to worry._

" _Okay. Owens is out here. I'm sending him to you with a ladder to get Casey up," Boden said. "What's your location?"_

" _Northwest stairwell," Hermann responded just as Gabby reached the landing between the first and second floor. Looking at the sign on the door, she saw that she was in the Southeast stairwell. Considering that she was on the opposite side of the building, she wasn't going to get to check on Matt on her way out. She'd just have to wait until he was completely safe. She'd see him though. She was sure of it._

 _The first thing Gabby did when she emerged from the building was look around for Matt or even Hermann or Owens. None of them were out yet. She did see Shay though, laying eyes on the woman at the same time her best friend looked up from the patient she was treating and gave her a reassuring smile. With that realization in mind, Gabby once again focused on her job, guiding the woman she'd rescued to the medics and ultimately handing her off to Brett._

 _Gabby then turned back towards the building, but she couldn't help taking a moment to debate whether or not to head back inside. As a firefighter she knew she had a responsibility to go back in and help with the search, but as a woman all she wanted was to see that the man she loved was safe. Fortunately, a few seconds later she saw most of the rest of Truck 6 emerge from the building, indicating that they'd finished clearing their assigned floors._

" _You okay Dawson?" Woods asked as he approached her._

" _Yeah. Just got her out," while she didn't take her eyes off the building's entrance, with her head she motioned to the woman Brett was now treating. She wanted to make sure her boss knew that she hadn't simply abandoned her job once she found out her fiancée was in trouble._

" _That's not what I meant. We all heard about Casey on the radio. Can't be easy," Woods poked._

" _It sounds like he's okay. I do really want to –" Gabby's voice trailed off as she noticed Owens, Hermann, and most importantly Matt making their way out of the building. For a minute, she just stared, watching Matt. He seemed to be walking okay. Neither Hermann nor Owens were supporting him. Whatever had happened to his back, it didn't appear to be anything serious. That knowledge didn't stop her from ultimately running towards him._

" _Matt," she called as she went._

" _Hey," Matt said as soon as she reached him. "I'm okay. I promise. I'm okay." It was like he knew what she was thinking. Then again, he probably did._

" _When I heard Hermann over the radio," Gabby mumbled as she pulled him into a tight embrace._

" _I didn't even know you were here," Matt replied as he returned the hug._

" _Yeah. We got called when another Truck was needed. You were already inside though," Gabby explained a few minutes later after pulling away._

" _I'm sorry I scared you, but I'm glad you're here," Matt smiled before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. Not caring that everyone was watching, Gabby returned the gesture._

" _HmmmMmmm," Boden cleared his throat, prompting the couple to look at the Chief. "Casey, you need to go get checked out."_

" _I'm fine Chief," Matt protested._

" _This isn't up for debate," Boden replied._

 _Gabby looked towards Woods, glad to see the Captain nod in return. She had permission to stay with Matt._

" _Come on," Gabby said before guiding him towards the ambo so Shay could take a look._

" _What exactly happened to your back?" Shay asked as Matt sat down on the gurney and took off his turnout coat._

" _I landed on it when I fell, but it's not a big deal," Matt insisted._

" _I'll be the judge of that," Shay replied as she lifted his shirt and started examining his back. "Where exactly did you land?"_

" _Lower back," Matt answered as Shay started her exam._

" _Okay," Shay said a few minutes later. "You're probably going to have a pretty big bruise here in a few hours, but nothing looks broken or anything. Don't think I'm not gonna keep an eye on you for the rest of shift though."_

" _Thanks Shay," Gabby said._

" _You're welcome. I'm sure the two of you want to be alone right now," Shay winked before walking away._

" _See. Nothing to worry about," Matt said as he took Gabby's hands in his._

" _Yeah," Gabby said quietly, trying to push what had just happened from her mind._

 _It didn't work and she sat down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. From that angle she could see that the rest of Truck 81 and Squad 3 were all out, Truck 6 was packing up, and Engine was now working on putting out the fire. After a couple minutes of watching Engine work and enjoying being with Matt, she realized that as much as she wanted to, they couldn't stay like this for the rest of shift._

" _I guess I probably should be getting back," she reluctantly admitted._

" _I know," Matt squeezed her shoulder, pulling her a little closer before releasing her. "It'll be tomorrow morning and we'll be home soon enough though."_

" _Yeah," Gabby agreed. "Matt, I need you to promise me that if your back starts getting worse or anything seems wrong, you'll tell Shay, and then you'll call me. I know you won't want to, but you need to so promise me. Otherwise, I'm going to keep calling everyone to check up on you."_

" _I promise," Matt said. "I love you."_

" _Love you too," Gabby said before leaning in to kiss him one more time. "See you in the morning."_

 _With that Gabby headed towards where the members of Truck 6 were hanging out. As she passed Captain Woods, she nodded, letting him know that she was good, and they were okay to head back to the house._

" _Alright Truck 6. Let's go," Woods ordered._

" _Hey Owens," Gabby approached the man while most of the company was getting in the rig. "Thank you."_

" _You know what Dawson. Next time tell Casey to be more careful. Then maybe I won't have to go save your fiancée's ass," Owens curtly replied._

 _As she got into the Truck, all Gabby could do was shake her head at how much of a jerk that man was. She really resented the implication that Matt was somehow responsible for the stairs giving out under him, that he could have somehow prevented it from happening. She may not have been there, but she was certain that if there was something Matt could have done, he would have done it. Every firefighter should know that that type of situation was usually beyond their control. Why couldn't Owens just accept her gratitude?_

* * *

" _Everything okay?" Hodges asked as he came up to Gabby that evening._

" _Yeah," Gabby said as she looked up._

" _Then why have you been sitting by yourself and staring at your phone for I don't even know how long?" Hodges counted._

" _I want to call Matt or for him to call me so that I know he's still okay. Logically I know that if he wasn't, Shay or somebody else would have called me, but –" Gabby started to explain._

" _But he gave you a scare earlier, and you can't help but worry," Hodges finished her thought._

" _Yeah," she confirmed. "I just don't want to come off as being overly worried or paranoid or needy. I already made him promise to call me if his back got worse. He hasn't so I'm sure he's fine. And if we hadn't been on that same call, would I even know that something had happened yet or would I find out when I get home tomorrow? I don't want to take advantage or give you know who something else to get on my case about, but I really want to hear his voice."_

" _Forget what anyone else thinks. If you need to call him for you, call him. Besides, I've seen you call him during shift just talk when nothing like this has happened," Hodges told her._

" _You really think so?" Gabby asked._

" _Of course I do," Hodges replied._

" _Thanks," Gabby gave him a small smile before going off to find some privacy. Discovering that the bunkroom was empty, she took a seat on her bunk before hitting the familiar speed dial._

" _Hey babe," Matt picked up on the second ring. Gabby could hear happiness in his voice, and she got the sense it was because she was calling._

" _Hey yourself. How are you?" she asked._

" _I'm fine Gabby. You don't need to worry," Matt answered._

" _I'm sorry. I just –" she wanted to explain herself._

" _It's okay. If our situations were reversed earlier, I'm sure I'd be doing the same thing," he reassured her._

" _Thanks. You know you're all I've thought about since we got back. Although I guess that's not so unusual," Gabby said._

" _I think about you all the time too," Matt admitted. "Despite how long it's been, I still miss having you here even if I'm sure you'd be glued to my side all afternoon considering what happened earlier."_

" _You saying you'd be complaining?" she pretended to be offended._

" _No. I'd never complain about getting to spend time with you," he insisted._

" _Good," she replied. "So aside from your back, how's shift going?"_

 _They continued to go back and forth on various topics for about fifteen minutes, only stopping when the bells went off in Firehouse 13, and Gabby had to go._

* * *

 _When Gabby pulled into the parking lot outside her apartment the following morning, she was glad to see Matt's truck already there. Quickly pulling into her own space, she raced into the building. Despite their conversation last night, she still really wanted to see him._

" _Matt," she called as she made her way into the apartment._

" _Kitchen," he called back, prompting her to head to the back of the apartment where she found him leaning into the fridge._

" _Morning," she came up behind him and after wrapping her arms around his waist, she started kissing the back of his neck._

" _Morning," Matt said as he turned around so that he was facing her. "What do you want for breakfast?"_

" _Don't want breakfast," Gabby answered as she pulled him into the type of kiss she'd really wanted to give him yesterday._

" _You're not hungry?" Matt questioned when they broke apart for am._

" _Oh, I'm hungry. Just not for food," Gabby replied as she swiftly removed Matt's shirt and then pulled him into another kiss in order to prove her point._

" _Guess I could go for that," Matt said as he returned the favor and relieved her of her own shirt._

" _Good," she murmured before guiding him towards their bedroom and gently pushing him down on the bed. She was about to climb on top of him when she noticed he was grimacing. "Everything okay?"_

" _Yeah," he replied only for her to raise an eyebrow. "Okay. Shay was right about my winding up with a big bruise on my back. It hurts to lie down."_

" _Oh Matt," Gabby said as she pulled him up so that he was sitting and took a seat next to him, examining his back._

" _Hey, it's easy to do something about it," Matt commented as he pushed Gabby down on the bed._

 _In an instant, he was on top of her and his lips were once again on hers. Seconds later she'd forgotten the bruise. She'd forgotten everything except how much she loved and needed this man._

* * *

Author's Note: I found Firehouse Chicago by googling Chicago wedding spots and don't know anything about it beyond what I found on their website. In theory though it felt like the perfect wedding spot for Dawsey.

And as a reminder, the review button is right down there. I'd love to know what you thought of this one.

Until next time : )


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